A/N: I hoped to have this up sooner but my laptop went and broke :-( but we're back in action! I felt I owed you all an update to this story and as a special thank you to funkyshaz57 who gave me the push I needed to snap back in to focus, this one's for you! ... and of course for all of you who stick with my stories! I hope you're still there :-)
I sat on the leather couch in Addison's apartment, hugging one of the vibrant, orange cushions close to my chest for comfort. My encounter with Henry had left me more than a little confused. I had been so sure coming here that I was in love with him, but after what had transpired between us this afternoon, I wondered if I ever really knew what love was.
I thought back to my first boyfriend. I was 16 and his name was Eric; he was attractive enough, nothing overly special, but he was kind and treated me well, always showering me with gifts and remaining solidly attentive throughout our entire relationship, the whole four months of it. I cared deeply for him, thinking at the time it was love, but looking back, I'm not so sure. I enjoyed his company, but I didn't ache when I was apart from him and in all honesty, wasn't overly torn up about the end of our romance.
Most of my relationships since then had carried on in a somewhat similar fashion. I had always assumed I was just one of those people who fell in love easily, never having been afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve, I now felt the need to re-evaluate my entire romantic disposition, for I was beginning to believe that love wasn't what I had felt at all in any of relationships. I was more in love with the idea of being in love. I wanted to be in love and so I tried to force it, wanting it so much I actually truly believed I had any understanding of the word. I felt rather foolish now, sitting here alone, having travelled across the country for a man that I now knew meant a lot less to me than I had previously deluded myself into thinkiing.
However, my sudden realisation that I had in fact, never been in love wasn't what had me in a subdued state of panic, the confusion I felt was that, while being apart from Arizona and in the company of Henry, she never left my mind, even just thinking about her left this hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it wasn't unpleasant. It made me feel sick, like too many emotions were flooding through me at once making me feel nauseous. But above all, I felt guilty and I couldn't pin point why. Was it because I was aware that should Arizona find out about Henry's feelings for me, she would hate me for hurting her best friend? Or was it because I was afraid that she herself would be hurt, if she knew that he was the reason I was here in the first place?
There was a delicate knocking on the door which pulled me out of my agonising thoughts and saved me from gnawing away what was left of my already chipped nail varnish.
Opening the door, my stomach somersaulted at the sight in front of me. Not that I had been expecting anyone else but her beauty took me completely off guard.
Arizona was dressed casually, in a pair of grey sweatpants and a formfitting green t-shirt, her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and her cheeks flushed slightly pink. She looked so enticing, I couldn't resist extending my arm to touch her soft sink. Her face was cold as ice, unsurprising, given the almost arctic temperature of the Autumn air. She stared at me, her big blue eyes a mixture of confusion and what I determined to be awe. The silence between us had yet to be broken but neither of us seemed in a rush to do so.
She brought her hand up to rest on mine, curling her fingers around my own, lowering both our hands and pulling me towards her, encasing me in a strong embrace.
I clung to her like a lifeline. I wasn't sure why. I felt frightened, but much like everything else I was feeling today, I couldn't explain it. However, along with the fear, I felt safe and comfortable in her embrace. The hollow feeling in my stomach was still there and even though she was right front of me, tangled in my arms, I missed her. It was overwhelming.
I pulled away from her slightly, gazing into her eyes for a split second before quickly grabbing the back of her neck and crushing her lips against mine.
The kiss was desperate, more so from my end, she seemed initially taken off guard but soon melted into my advance, parting her lips to allow my tongue access. She tasted of strawberry and vanilla lollipop mixed with a slight hint of peppermint. It was delicious and I found myself trying to absorb the flavour. I was running low on oxygen and I could sense she felt the same but I was reluctant to break away.
It was Arizona that pulled back first, taking deep, shallow breaths. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but closed it again, stepping into the apartment and pushing me backwards, closing the door in one swift movement.
Wordlessly, she removed her t-shirt and dropped it to the floor, her gaze never leaving mine. There was an air of tension surrounding us but it was so intense and not entirely uncomfortable, we both ignored it. I backed away from her, anticipation building as she followed me, stripping off her sweats in the process and sliding off her shoes.
The back of my knees pressed against the couch causing me to lose my balance and fall backwards into the large cushions. She stood in front of me, wearing nothing but a matching black lace bra and panties. My mouth went completely dry and I struggled to gulp. I felt the familiar throbbing between my legs and the unrelenting urge to reach out and touch her, but my body seemed to have other ideas, my arms felt heavy, like they were being weighed down. I was completely paralyzed by the sight before me.
I had seen Arizona like this multiple times before, but right now felt like the first time I was really seeing her.
She moved forward, placing a leg on each side of me until she was in a straddling position, slowly lowering her head to capture my lips again. I released a soft moan into her mouth as she pressed herself down on top of me, feeling only slight friction through my unfortunate layers of clothing. I thrust my pelvis up into her in frustration. Sensing the problem, she lifted herself slightly, allowing me room to remove my jeans, moving her kisses along my jaw line as I did so.
Once the most offensive item had been discarded she returned her lips to mine, deepening it almost immediately, only to pull away just as fast. I whimpered at the loss of contact but she simply smirked, a devilish glint in her eyes as she shuffled the tiniest bit backwards, reaching behind her back and removing the thin, lacy fabric that covered her full breasts. Without hesitation, I lunged forward, closing my lips around her left nipple and sucking gently, allowing my teeth to graze softly across it at alternate intervals. I knew by the way she arched her back, pressing even closer against me, that I had done good. She brought her hands up to tangle in my hair, pulling me forward. I used light pressure to move my head backwards and turn my attention to her other nipple, using my hand to grasp the recently vacated breast. I squeezed, causing her to groan in gratification and once again, grind down on my throbbing centre.
As much as I was enjoying the foreplay, the desire I felt between my legs was becoming almost unbearable, painful, nearly. I pulled back and stared up at her, shoving my hand unexpectedly between us, rubbing her over her underwear. She thrust forward onto my hand, silently pleading with me for more.
I used my other hand to take one of hers that was still wrapped in my hair and brought it down, forcing it into my own soaking panties. She used a single finger to rub light circles on my clit. I moaned into her mouth, begging for more. Knowing there was only one way I would get what I wanted, I shifted my hand until it was inside her underwear. I slid a finger up between her folds, thrilling at how easily my fingers could glide along her dripping centre. Once again, she pushed down on my hand, indicating where she wanted my finger to travel.
Deciding I had teased her enough, I pushed one finger deep inside her, receiving a grateful groan in return. I slowly pulled out, almost all the way, before thrusting back in with a little more pressure. I continued like this, in, out, in, out. I could feel her clench slightly around my fingers as her arousal began to peak.
So engrossed was I in pleasuring her, I had entirely forgotten about the untouched aching that still lingered in my sex, until I felt the sudden jolt of two fingers entering me with force. I pulled away from where my head had been buried between her cleavage to allow a loud moan escape.
She lifted her head and paused her actions.
"Did I hurt you?" she questioned with concern.
I pushed into her again, grinding my hips up at the same time, indicating I was ok.
"Not enough." I panted.
This seemed to satisfy her and she resumed her motions, speeding up to match my pace. The mutual stimulation was more of a turn on in this moment than I had ever experienced it before. Hearing her breathing becoming more shallow and feeling her clench around my fingers, brought me close to my climax faster than usual.
Without warning, I pressed a third finger inside, pushing up once, her whole body convulsed. I looked into her face, wanting to remember everything about this moment, the mixture of expressions that passed over her features, the utter ecstasy that hit her as she reached her highest point. Wanting to draw this out for her as long as possible, I continued to push into her, it was more difficult with her walls in a vice like grip around my fingers, but it was worth it to hear the sound that erupted from her. It was somewhere between a guttural groan and a whimper. The sound of pure pleasure.
Using her last morsel of energy, she thrust into me, using her body to press down at the same time, causing the back of my own hand to brush against my clit as she curled her fingers inside of me, sending me over the edge.
She collapsed on top of me after that, regaining her steady breathing, she peppered my collarbone and neck with featherlike kisses. I lowered us into a lying position, pulling the orange blanket that lay across the back of the couch to cover us both, snuggling down and pulling her closer until I could no longer fight the exhaustion and drifted into a dreamless sleep.