Chapter 13
"Hey, how are you feeling?"
Quistis groggily opened her eyes, and saw Rinoa sitting beside her, looking pale and concerned. She tried to sit up, but pain shot through her chest and she could only groan and flop back down against the pillow. She heavily blinked her eyes and touched her ribs. They were thickly bandaged, and her arms felt like lead.
"You're lucky he didn't stab you there with that poisoned knife," Rinoa murmured. She reached out and held Quistis's hand, and the blonde didn't let it go. She felt too alone to try and still be mad. Squall was gone. Seifer was gone. Quistis had nobody, except for this woman who was holding her hand and sitting loyally by her bedside And, who'd saved her life.
"Squall...?" Quistis asked.
Rinoa bit her lip. She didn't have to answer, because she'd never been good at hiding her emotional reactions. Quistis's eyes looked so big and bright compared to the white pallor of her complexion, and her disappointment caused them to fill with tears that had nothing to do with her stab wound.
"They figured out what car he and Fujin took," Rinoa offered, nervously stroking the back of Quistis's hand with her fingers. "It was caught on video at the Great Salt Lake gates. The guard said they were soldiers. Fujin and Squall must have been dressed up."
"Great Salt...?"
"Laguna and Kiros think they went to Fisherman's Horizon."
"Fisherman's...?" Quistis began to ask, but had to stop when a coughing fit overtook her.
"You should rest," Rinoa urged. "Or Tiernan will get mad and won't let me stay."
Quistis sighed. "Why did he leave me?" She asked. Her tone was calm, but it sounded so lost and heartbroken.
" ...I don't know," Rinoa admitted. Reading and gauging Squall's emotions was never something she'd been good at. "Raijin said there's a Garden station there, though. And, I bet Xu would have set up even more offices, knowing that you guys were heading in this direction, and..." She trailed off when they suddenly weren't alone. It was the Estharian guard with the strange and lovely grey eyes - Jurgen. He'd been given the job of guarding Quistis against further attacks. Kiros had wanted to move them all outright back to the centre of the city, but Laguna was adamant about staying. Kiros had to listen, since Laguna was President, but he didn't have to like it.
"Oh, Ms. Trepe. You're awake. Shall I call for Dr. Murphy-Seagill?"
"I'm fine," the blonde muttered.
"Yes, you should," Rinoa spoke over her, giving Jurgen a tight-lipped smile. The way his extraordinary eyes lingered on Quistis didn't go unnoticed to the novice Sorceress. He must have noticed the way Quistis's golden hair spilled across the pillow in an angelic fashion. Her lush lips looking full and red compared to the wan skin. How even hospitalized, she was so beautiful. Like Sleeping Beauty. "Do you think he's handsome?" Rinoa asked, trying to sound innocent about it.
"Who?" Quistis muttered bitterly, feeling sorry for herself. Though, Rinoa's touch did anchor her. It made her feel like someone was still here for her.
"That guard. Jurgen. He has such lovely eyes."
"Yeah, I guess..." She yawned and then grunted in pain. "I'm sure he'd love to date you."
"No, not for me!" Rinoa exclaimed, blushing. Yes, Jurgen was very handsome and his eyes were impossible to ignore, but it wasn't beautiful grey eyes she pictured when she thought of her dream man. The blush deepened when she did picture that man, and it wasn't what she expected. She still sometimes pictured Squall as her boyfriend - his intense and wintery glare, the fullness of his lower lip and his flawless skin. But, instead she found herself unconsciously picturing eyes so dark they seemed to go on forever. A warm and carefree smile. Dark reddish skin and big strong arms. "I meant... for you..." She mumbled into her chest, praying to Hyne that Quistis couldn't notice how red Rinoa's face was.
Quistis stared up at the ceiling, Rinoa's comment about Jurgen the guard slowly processing in Quistis's mind. Her train of thought, normally like the futuristic Estharian models, now chugged along like an ancient steam relic. Yeah, she'd noticed him. How could she not with eyes like that? But, it's not like she was having great luck with men. The two most important men, or people of either gender, were now gone. She didn't even want to start thinking about Nida and the fact that he was a murdering piece of shit who stole Seifer from her.
Murdering... "You said that Squall went with Fujin?" Quistis asked dreamily.
"Yeah," Rinoa answered quietly.
"Maybe..." Maybe Fujin got a call from Irvine. Maybe Irvine got some news about Seifer since he's still got ties to Garden. Maybe Squall went after Seifer...? She actually meant to say all of this out loud, but the drugs in her IV drip were really starting to affect her.
"Awake already?" Tiernan asked good-naturedly. "Well, sort of," he added when he leaned over Quistis and saw the glassiness of her eyes.
"I'll just wait outside." Rinoa started to rise, but Quistis was holding her hand like a vice. "I'll be right back, okay? I promise."
After a moment, Quistis nodded slowly, and disentangled her hand from Rinoa's. Rinoa shuffled out into the hallway, and her face started to get hot again when she saw Raijin loitering.
"Hey, she okay?" He asked, concern knitting his dark brows together.
"Yeah, she's fine. It'll take more than a stab wound to take her down."
"You okay?" He asked, putting a friendly hand on her shoulder. "You got stabbed too, ya know?!"
"I'm fine," she whispered, finding it hard to look into his face. Instead she stared at his mouth, but found that kind of distracting, too. Same with his neck. There was something very nice about the way the muscles of his neck swept into the muscles of his shoulder. So, she settled on looking out a nearby window. Nothing had actually changed between her and Raijin, but to her it felt like it had. Realizing that she thought he was attractive seemed to change something between them, though he was completely unaware of it. "She's hurting more from losing Squall and Seifer."
Raijin sighed, and it caused Rinoa to break her personal embargo on looking at him. "Squall's not dead, though..." It sounded so sad and alone, and made Rinoa see that Quistis wasn't the only one who felt suddenly all alone in the world. Seifer and Fujin were all that Raijin had, aside from Tia, his on-again, off-again girlfriend back in Dollet. His parents had died in a car accident when he'd been a Garden cadet, so his friends had become his family.
"I'm sorry," Rinoa murmured.
"Don't apologize, ya know?!"
"I feel like I should. I still kind of feel..." Rinoa started fiddling with the ends of her hair, then the ring on a chain around her neck. It was alone now. She'd taken Squall's ring off it, though she hadn't had a chance to give it back to him yet. "I feel like I'm as bad as Xu or Nida or all the others in Garden. I didn't believe in them. Maybe things would have turned out differently if I hadn't been so blinded by me and Squall falling apart. That I wanted someone to blame. Anyone except for myself."
"Playing the 'what if' game never works, ya know?!" Raijin muttered, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. "Seifer was always a big fan of it. What if I'd never been so stupid and listened to Ultimecia? What if I'd listened to my gut and turned away from her at the Timber TV Station? What if I'd told Squall sooner how I felt about him? What if I'd just let her kill me?" His voice was soft and sad when he spoke of Seifer so frankly. "All those things, no matter how painful, happened for a reason. Those things happen in life so we can learn from them and grow. And, you shouldn't think you and Squall was your fault."
"It wasn't entirely Squall's fault, either," she pointed out, wanting to defend him.
"I know. You two had a lot of pressure on you to be this fairy tale couple. Yes, there was love and affection there, but it wasn't what everyone wanted it to be, ya know?! That's a lot of pressure to put on two people. You looked for an easy answer, for someone to blame. Squall looked to disassociate and fall into a world where he could disconnect. And, you just couldn't communicate about it. But, it happened so you could learn from it. I'm sure next time you have a serious boyfriend, you'll go about things with more maturity."
"Wow," Rinoa breathed, feeling even more affection towards him. "That was... amazing. Have you ever considered being a psychiatrist? How could anyone ever say you're dumb?"
Raijin laughed and sheepishly ran his hand through his short hair. "Nah, I could never be a doctor. Hey, wait... who says I'm dumb, ya know?!"
"I... um... oh, no... I didn't mean it like... err..."
Raijin laughed again and she joined him, out of embarrassment at first, but then it became genuine. It was a really nice sound. There wasn't much to laugh about lately. "I just wanted to come see how Quistis was, ya know?! I gotta get back to the orphanage kids. I promised Edea that I'd help watch them."
"She says that they adore you." Rinoa opened her mouth, something like 'and I can see why' nearly tumbling out. She snapped her mouth shut, cheeks reddening again. She could feel a sheen of sweat growing on her back.
"I think they just like climbing on me and touching me with sticky hands and accidentally kicking me in the crotch," he grumped, but she knew he was only teasing. He adored children. "See ya later, ya know?!" He touched her on the shoulder before leaving.
"Bye," she called, watching him leave. She was still smiling from the laughter they'd shared only a moment before. When she reached up to her shoulder, her skin was still warm from his touch.
----
"You know it won't matter if she finds him or not," Astor said cordially, as if they were having small talk about the weather and other stupid pleasantries. "It's far too late for him. Now, I really do hate going back on promises, and I did solemnly swear to Seifer that I would rape and kill you as revenge. Do you wish to know why?"
"No."
Astor laughed, a thoroughly unpleasant noise. "As taciturn as usual, Squall." He opened his hands and let the knife and the rod drop to the floor. "I've always liked that about you. How about we settle this as men? Or, barely a man, in your case. More like a woman, or a bitch. I really don't care for picking on women, but promises are promises."
Squall wouldn't let Astor get a rise out of him. How could his anger rise any farther, anyway? He just let Hyperion and Lionheart fall to the floor as well, the clatter echoing through the hallway. And, then they were rushing each other. Squall felt a fist connect hard against the side of his jaw, just as his fist drove up into Astor's diaphragm. Astor's greatest strength was in magic, but he was no slouch in the martial arts department. Squall was stronger physically, but his rage and terror about Seifer were making him just slightly sloppier than usual and it cost him in the form of a heavy blow to the side of the head. He was slammed into the wall, and Astor's hands were grapping at his legs and hips, trying to bring him to the ground.
Squall kicked up and his heels slammed into Astor's collarbone, sending the other man flying backwards. His body skidded down the highly polished floor of the hallway, making a high-pitched squeaking noise as his skin slid against the unforgiving tiles. As he was tumbling, his hand closed around the hilt of one of the gunblades, and Astor threw it at Squall. Squall had to duck to avoid getting chopped in half, and the large sidestep gave Astor a chance to recover. He rose to his feet again and charged Squall. He had just enough time to recover so that Astor's fist into his mouth didn't knock him out. Squall grabbed the front of Astor's bloodstained shirt and yanked the other man closer to him so he could slam the top of his head into Astor's mouth.
Their bodies were almost irreversibly twisted together as they exchanged blows meant to cause as much pain as possible. Squall swallowed a yelp when he felt a few ribs crack. To make up for it, he slammed his fist into Astor's ribs several times in quick succession, breaking his ribs too. They tackled each other against the walls, trying not to be the first one to stumble. Squall kneed Astor hard in the meaty part of his thigh at the same time that his fingers clawed at the other man's face, going for his eyes. Astor jerked his face from side to side, avoiding getting his eyes ripped out. He snapped his teeth at Squall's fingers, digging them into the side of his hand. Squall closed his fingers around Astor's nose and mouth and dug them in, crooking one digit so he could fish hook him. Even though he had his hands full with Astor's very capable martial arts, Squall was very aware of every second that was ticking by. Another second that may have been Seifer's last. Another second where Fujin could have been sitting by Seifer's cold, mutilated corpse. Another second where Seifer could be struggling to breathe. Another second where they could be together.
He then felt himself falling. As he'd head-butted the other man, Astor had tangled their legs together to bring Squall to the ground. Astor's fingers gripped Squall's head and pulled his hair, driving the back of it into the ground as they fell. Squall's vision went starry upon impact, and there were multiple copies of Astor's face leering over him. Astor's fists rammed into Squall's jaw and cheek, intense pain shooting across his entire head when a blow connected with his mouth. Probably a fractured jaw. But, just because Squall was down and had a freely bleeding head wound didn't mean he was out for the count. Not by a long shot. Even though he felt like he was going to throw up or black out, he punched Astor as hard as he could in the torso. His gloved fists connected with Astor's ribs, his diaphragm, his stomach, his sides. Seeing his own black leather hands connecting against the brown and red stains brought Squall clarity. Seifer's blood
Rage surged in Squall and he started hitting Astor harder than he'd ever hit anyone in his life. Not just to beat him into submission, but to kill him. He wriggled his way out from under Astor's weight, pushing up from his shoulders, ploughing his feet into Astor's lower stomach as he did. It sent Astor sprawling. He tried to roll away from the deadly intent that were Squall's punches and kicks. However, Astor wasn't quite fast enough in one shoulder roll, and his hand got caught under the merciless heel of Squall's boot. Bones loudly crunched and ground together. Astor groaned in pain, but didn't give Squall the satisfaction of screaming. Squall stomped down with his heel again, this time on Astor's wrists. Squall wanted him to scream. Scream like Seifer screamed. He wanted to cause Astor that kind of pain. He wanted to hear Astor beg for mercy, and then show him none, just like he'd shown Seifer none. The delicate bones snapped loudly, but again Astor didn't scream. Inside, he wanted to so fucking badly, but he just grinned through it, rolling his eyes up to look into Squall's face. His eyes were dark and stormy with rage, but his face gave away none of his broiling and surfacing emotions.
Squall fell down upon his opponent, straddling his waist and beating him like a madman. He couldn't hear if Astor was screaming or begging him to stop, or even laughing through the pain. All he could hear were Seifer's screams, pouring from Eden's mouth and from the recording in Xu's inbox. He was drowning in it. It was breaking his heart and filling him with guilt. And, then it shorted out. The screams became a horrible buzzing as pain moved through his body, concentrated in a small spot on his breastbone. Astor had reached around with his good hand, and found the electrified staff he'd borrowed from Luchia. He'd driven the electrified end square into Squall's chest. The force of the voltage blew Squall backwards, his limbs writhing and twitching as his heart accelerated to a dangerous rate.
Astor jammed the staff into Squall's belly this time, Squall's back arching off the floor as an involuntary groan of pain tore from his mouth. "Seifer did this to you once, didn't he?" Astor asked casually, punctuating his words with quick yet agonizing jolts to Squall's torso. Squall could feel his skin searing upon contact, and smell the burning of his leather jacket and the cotton shirt underneath. "He tortured you in this exact same way. I can only assume that you forgave him." Astor pressed the side of the staff to Squall's throat, pressing down as he lowered his body on top of Squall's, straddling his hips. Squall gasped and sputtered for air as Astor pressed the staff down harder.
"Did it turn you on?" Astor asked dangerously. There was no playfulness in his tone. His eyes held only malice and the promise of pain. The same look Seifer would have seen in his eyes. Squall spit up into Astor's face, and was awarded with a hard punch in the mouth. Stars shot through his eyes, and his vision went entirely black when his head was slammed against the floor. The blow stunned him, and Astor used the chance to roll Squall's body over, pressing the electrified tip of Luchia's weapon into the small of Squall's back.
"Did Seifer do this to you, too?" Astor asked as his hands tugged at Squall's belt. Astor had his knife back in his hands, and was cutting away the leather strip, and now gripped Squall's hips. "Did he have his way with you, Squall? Did he fuck you under Edea's orders? Did he make you a real woman?" He taunted laughingly.
Squall groaned and started bucking as Astor started to pull his pants down. Fury welled in him with each of Astor's taunting words. And, that was exactly what Astor wanted.
"I wonder if Seifer enjoyed shocking you as much as I do," Astor whispered in Squall's ear, fingers digging into his hips so roughly that Squall could feel his skin bruising. He could feel hips pressing down against his buttocks, which were now partially exposed. Squall tried to squirm and kick as he felt Astor fumbling with his own pants. His hips were slammed into the ground, and it painfully jammed his testicles under his thigh. He was then punched in the back of the head as his legs were being forced into a spread-eagle position. Astor leaned over Squall's back and whispered into his ear, slithery black poison worming into his brain. "Too bad it's too late to ask him."
Squall's vision went red. Astor's erection pressed down against him, but he didn't feel it. He could only feel the blood rushing hot through his body, and the pounding in his ears deafened him to all else. His body almost moved of its own accord, fuelled by the desire for vengeance. For revenge. Squall was barely even aware of his hips arching up and his legs twisting up and coiling around Astor's thighs like pythons. Squall arched his back and brought his legs up and forward so he was doing a reverse somersault, bringing Astor's bulk along with the lower half of his body.
Astor wasn't prepared for this, and his weight awkwardly pitched forward. Squall's ribs screamed in protest at the unnatural contorting of his torso, but he didn't care. He would put himself through anything to avenge Seifer's treatment at Astor's hands. Squall squeezed his legs harder around Astor's thighs and pitched him further forward. Astor's own weight also helped the momentum, so that his head slammed into the wall with a loud crunch. Squall immediately disentangled himself from Astor and slapped his hands against the ground to vault himself into a crouching position. From the low center of gravity, he twirled in a low kick that looked like a combination between a floor sweep and a roundhouse. The boot of Squall's combat boot slammed into Astor's temple. His foot and the wall acted like a vice and pinned Astor's head, letting Squall add pressure until the ball of the boot crunched Astor's orbital bone. He then stomped on Astor's knee, shattering it and preventing him from escaping on foot.
Squall took his eyes off the other man briefly to look at the floor around him. Hyperion lay only a few meters away. Astor's knife was even closer, and the owner saw it first. The knife came flying at Squall, and he did a quick shoulder roll, but the blade still whizzed past his upper shoulder, cutting through leather, cotton, skin and muscle. He could feel the heat of the blood bursting from the split in his skin, and the wound ripped open, more blood gushing out, as he reached out for Seifer's gunblade. His fingers closed around the hilt of the gunblade. As he rose to his feet and turned to face Astor, blood poured down his arm and the blade of Hyperion. Astor was trying to crawl towards Luchia's electrified staff. Squall stalked over and instead of grabbing the weapon away from Astor, he swung Hyperion in a light downward arc, and cut through the back of Astor's boot, right through his Achilles tendon, then the same vital tendon in the other ankle. Now there would be none of his attempted escapes.
Astor wheezed in pain, awkwardly rolling onto his back so he could look up at Squall, and was immediately met with the star-shaped end of Luchia's staff. It was jammed into the side of his face and cranked up to high voltage. Squall looked down at Astor as he writhed and screamed, his cheek blistering and smoking. Squall turned the knob and increased the electricity that was shooting into Astor's body. His cheek started to blacken and the skin curled and peeled away from the muscle like charred paper. Astor was screaming at the top of his lungs, and it echoed nauseatingly through the hallway, but they weren't the screams that Squall was hearing.
"So, you think it's an uneven playing field to fight a woman, do you?" Squall asked. He could only hear Seifer's screams falling from Eden's mouth so couldn't hear his own voice. If he could, maybe he would have been disturbed by the cruel coldness in it. Astor's pants were still bunched down around his hips, so it made it rather simple to cut his genitals away from his body. The blood burped out from the wound in a grotesque heartbeat of liquid red. They were still attached by a flap of skin, and Squall reached down and physically did the rest of the work, ripping Astor's penis and testicles away from his body, holding them tightly in his fist.
"All right, we're even now, right?" Squall asked calmly over Astor's hysterical screaming. He put his hands to the hole there, and because he'd been erect at the time, all the blood flow had been concentrated to that area. So much blood...
"Come on," Squall demanded, gripping the front of Astor's bloodied shirt in his fist. Now Seifer's blood was buried under the wet, pumping geyser of all of Astor's blood rushing out of his body. "What, you can't fight now?"
Astor groaned, blood pouring from his mouth as he was jerked around like a stuffed toy.
"Whatever pain you're feeling now isn't enough," Squall whispered, their faces only millimetres from each other. "I hope what you did to Seifer, you feel tenfold."
Astor couldn't respond, and could no longer even scream. Squall held onto him tight, watching Astor's eyes carefully as he died. He watched life be extinguished. He felt Astor's last breath puff against his cheek, the blood dripping from his crotch deafening with violence.
"Squall!"
Squall blinked a few times and looked away from Astor's face, frozen forever in a look of pain and terror. It was like he'd been in a trance.
"Squall!" Irvine called again, jogging down the hallway towards him. His step slowed when he got a good look at the gory scene. "My God..."
Squall dropped Astor's corpse to the ground where his dead weight made a horrible squelching noise when it landed in a deep pool of blood, and looked at his hands. The gloves were slick with blood, and he was still holding Astor's genitals in his fist. He slowly crouched beside the body and pried the mouth open further, stuffing the body parts inside. He knew that Xu would be one of the first to see Astor like this, and he wanted to give her a message.
"You okay?" Irvine asked. It was hard to tell if any of the blood splattered all over Squall was his own.
"I think my jaw is cracked," he muttered. He could still talk, but now that the adrenaline was leaving his body, he could feel the intense pain when he did. And, the even stronger pain when he breathed. "Ribs, too." He slowly rose to his feet, looking at his shoulder. It was bleeding pretty freely. He slowly did up his pants, only now just realizing they were still partially undone.
"Here." Irvine picked up Astor's knife and cut away a strip from the bottom of his hooded sweatshirt. He used it as a bandage and tied it tight to staunch the blood flow. "Will you think badly of me if tell you I've never been more sexually attracted to you than right now?"
"Did you...?" Squall couldn't even begin to ask that question. He didn't want to believe Astor about it being too late for Seifer, but it was just too much to ask that he could have survived for this long.
"No, I was trying to get some info out of the computer terminal." He tucked Astor's knife into his belt and watched as Squall picked up both gunblades. "I haven't seen Fujin, though."
"She went downstairs."
"All right." Irvine used his foot to kick up the electrified staff, and gracefully caught it on its upward arc. He looked over his shoulder at Squall, and his face got that still seriousness in it that nobody had really ever noticed was there. "You're always so quick to give up. Even when you shouldn't."
Squall frowned, blinking a couple of times. He wanted to believe what Irvine was saying so fucking much. No. He couldn't let Astor bait him like this. If he did, Astor would win. Even though he was dead at Squall's feet. " ...you're right."
"Huh," Irvine murmured as they walked towards the stairwell. Squall could feel blood squishing around in his boots. "I don't know if I've ever heard you say that before." Irvine went down first, shotgun pointed out in front of him, knife held with the tip towards the floor. His footsteps were silent and stealthy, but Squall just pushed right past him, stalking into the hallway of the lowest level, not caring if he wasn't being sneaky. Let them come.
But, nobody did come. This hallway looked similar to the one above it. There wasn't nearly as much blood, but there were a handful of dead bodies. "I guess we can just follow the carnage," Irvine said, completely deadpan. Squall couldn't understand how Irvine could be so light and make jokes at a time like this, but then he had a rare moment of social awareness. He had to keep it light, or else it made things too real for him. This wasn't a hit. He couldn't just disassociate and think of his Galbadia Garden training. This was Seifer. One of his closest childhood friends. A man that he cared about and loved very much.
Squall's breath came out in a shaky moan when they came to one of the small cement rooms. It stank of a mixture of burning flesh, something like motor oil and human waste. The floor had ugly, old brown stains on it. Blood that would never, ever come out. Blood of people just like Seifer, who'd died here alone and in pain. In the corner of the room was a trap door, the lid flung back. Fujin was kneeling at the lip, looking down into the hole. There were two bodies on the floor beside her. One was a very young looking man in a SeeD uniform that must have been brand new. The other was Seifer. Fujin was cradling him in her arms, murmuring to him as she stroked his bloodstained hair, and doing something that nobody had ever seen her do before. She was crying.
Under the floor was a small hole, just big enough for a human to fit in. The floor was even more grotesquely stained than the room above. That's where he'd been kept when he wasn't being tortured. Seifer was completely naked, skin totally splattered with blood, just like Squall. Except for, unlike his lover, the blood on Seifer was all his own. His right leg was bent at a horrid angle, the bones stark and white where they'd ripped through the skin and muscle of Seifer's thigh and calf. His back was to Squall and Irvine, and they both knew what they'd heard boiling on the audio in Xu's inbox. It had been the oil they were smelling now, and it had been poured down the right side of Seifer's back. The skin was blistered and pitted, black where the skin had burned and where dried oil was still stuck to it. Through the blood, they could see star-shaped burns all over Seifer's body from Luchia's staff.
Squall's eyes burned as he looked down at the wrecked thing that had once been such a proud man. He started panting, finding it impossible to gain air. That smell in the air was Seifer's burning skin. He must have been in so much pain. He felt Irvine's arm wrap around his shoulders, trying to be comforting. But, what comfort could there be?! When Seifer's body jerked and he made a sputtering noise, both Squall and Irvine gasped in shock, Irvine's bordering on a yelp or screech.
"He's alive?" Irvine asked in shock. His voice seemed so loud in the nightmarish room, and the sound of it actually frightened him.
"Seifer!" Squall breathed, Irvine's arm dropping off his shoulders as he moved towards Seifer, coming around to the front of him. He kneeled on the dirty floor, biting back a moan of horror. The skin of Seifer's left eye, cheek and brow had been flayed away, so the muscle was stark, red and wet. It hung in a flap around Seifer's eye, so when his lid fluttered, the skin moved like a macabre flag. It was very disgusting, but Squall was too overjoyed to care. The sight of Seifer alive was absolutely beautiful to him. He tore off his blood soaked gloves and cupped one of Seifer's hands between both of his own. Seifer's skin was hot with fever, and a few of his fingers were broken, the nails ripped off. He must have tried to claw at the trap door in a desperate attempt to escape. Squall took in the rib jutting through Seifer's skin, the cuts and small puncture wounds in his abdomen, and lower... there was a nail through Seifer's right testicle, poking through the top of the scrotum and out the bottom. The testicle must have burst, because the skin had no shape within it and was mismatched to the left side. It also looked very angry and red with infection. Squall swallowed a noise of horror. He didn't want Seifer to hear it.
"Squall's here..." Fujin murmured to Seifer lovingly, her voice shaking and sounding so vulnerable. There was no anti-magic field in this room, so Fujin was able to cast some cure magic on her friend, though all it really did was dull Seifer's pain a little. This was something that simple magic couldn't cure. Seifer needed a doctor, and fast. She looked over at Squall, and none of the anger or hate was there. Only fear and love for Seifer. Seifer's eyelids fluttered, some kind of thick tear-like fluid coming from them. None of the trio wanted to open his eyes to see what it was. They were too worried about doing more damage.
"Seifer?" Squall whispered, touching the uninjured side of Seifer's face. "Baby, can you hear me? We're going to get you out of here."
Seifer made a small mewling noise, mumbling nonsense. Though, he did repeat something that sounded like 'call' over and over amidst the feverish gibberish. The unfelt emotions locked deep within Squall curled and tried to free themselves when he realized that Seifer was trying to say 'Squall'.
"How are we going to get him out of here?" Irvine asked. He looked at the gurney in the room, crouching to see if it was moveable. "Yes. Wheels." He moved away some sort of apparatus that was snaked up and over the bed. It was tubing attached to some kind of drip, and was connected to a bottle of regular household bleach. "Oh... Fuck..." Irvine muttered, smashing the stuff away from the gurney in horror. "That tape said 'eye thing'. Oh fucking Hyne..." He muttered under his breath, checking to see that the wheels on the gurney worked. "They were pouring bleach in his eyes," he hissed, wheeling it over to where Seifer was laying. "Fucking bastard. Goddamn fucking bastard," he cursed, finding the mechanism that lowered the gurney to ground level. "Okay, on his side so he's not laying on his back and his broken leg is on top. On three," he instructed. "Carefully."
They gently lifted Seifer onto the gurney. He let out a moan of pain, and Squall had to bite back a sob. They wheeled the gurney towards a service elevator, Irvine keeping his shotgun out. Squall never let go of Seifer's hand, and kept whispering in his ear so Seifer would know that he was safe.
"How are we going to get to Esthar?" Fujin asked, sniffling.
"I guess we'll have to put him in the back of one of our trucks. Is there enough room in yours?"
"It'll take forever to drive back there!" Fujin moaned, so uncharacteristically frazzled. "He could die!"
"I know!" Irvine shouted back, also losing his composure. When the doors open, Irvine had the twin barrels of his gun pointed out and ready to blow anyone's face off who was waiting for them. "Clear," he murmured when he was sure it was safe.
"We're going to take you home," Squall whispered in Seifer's ear. "Quisty's waiting, and probably ready to kick my ass for leaving her behind."
Seifer sputtered for breath and moaned. His breathing sounded wet and laboured, and each of Squall's own breaths brought him searing pain. But, that didn't matter. Seifer was alive. Squall's own pain was nothing.
"Squall?" Odin's voice called from outside. He hovered in the doorway, unable to cross the anti-magic runes. "He's alive...?" Odin couldn't feel Seifer's energy through the barrier.
"Not for much longer if we can't get to Esthar," Irvine warned.
"I have taken care of that," Odin assured. When they crossed the barrier, he felt Seifer's feeble energy flow into him. He reached out a metal hand to touch his Master, but then pulled away. His touch would not heal Seifer and with such weak vitals, and that much magic could possibly kill him. "You foolishly disjunctioned Shiva and didn't bring her," the great swordsman chided Squall like a disappointed father. "I found her wandering in the Great Salt Lake, trying to follow your aura."
"Squall!" Shiva exclaimed, running towards her Master like a lost child catching a glimpse of her parent. She was in human form, and collected him in a cold hug. "Why did you leave without me!?"
"I was only thinking about him."
Shiva nodded and looked down at Seifer's face. "You must hurry to the train. Garden has many spies in this town." She started leading them along at a quick pace.
"I've glamoured the crew of a light train, and they will unknowingly take you into Esthar. Though, Shiva and I cannot come with you. Garden has set up check-points along the tracks, and they would sense our magical energy. You must disjunction Leviathan, as well," Odin commanded of Irvine. "We will rejoin you once you pass the Estharian border. In the meantime, I will try to contact Quistis Trepe and your father."
"He needs water," Squall urged. Seifer was wheezing, and sweating profusely from the fever. "Just lead us to the goddamn train!" Squall snapped at Odin.
"I will disguise you as best I can, but too much magic will bring Garden's lapdogs," Odin murmured, leading them further into the heart of Fisherman's Horizon.
"We're almost there," Squall urged to Seifer, who'd slipped into unconsciousness. Luckily they got to the train without incident. Squall was almost ready to thank Odin for the help, but didn't.
"Keep on guard," Shiva urged when they wheeled Seifer's gurney into the train car that Odin pointed out. "The glamour may wear off, and there has been a hefty reward placed on your head, Squall. It means that Garden soldiers aren't your only enemies anymore."
Irvine disjunctioned Leviathan, whose human form was young boy with reptilian eyes millennia older than his body. "I will sssee you sssoon," Leviathan murmured to Irvine. His voice lisped like a snake, and his tongue, though human shaped, was split down the center.
"HURRY!" Fujin hissed, helping Squall get the gurney into the empty car. It was a posh, private car that was usually reserved for diplomats or other important people.
"In the sleeping compartment," Irvine commanded, pushing Fujin's back towards it. "I don't trust that Odin's glamour will hold out. I'll stay out here. If someone sees me, they more than likely won't know that I've betrayed Garden yet." He started loading his shotgun.
"Get in the bed," Squall said to Fujin tersely. There wasn't enough room for the gurney and the both of them.
Fujin did so without argument. They kept the door open wide enough that they could hear Irvine, and he could peek inside in case he was needed.
"Shit!" Squall suddenly hissed after a few moments of tense silence. "He stopped breathing." He bowed his head over Seifer's, and as gently as he could moved Seifer's head so he could perform CPR. Fujin put her hands on Seifer's chest, wincing each time she pumped down over his heart, mentally apologizing for the pain she knew that would cause to Seifer's broken ribcage. As they began to try and will life into Seifer's body, the train lurched and started to move forward.
"Don't you dare fucking give up now," Squall threatened just before he breathed air into his lover's lungs again. He watched Fujin pump down on Seifer's chest again, counting the beats. Each time Fujin pressed down, blood welled up around the broken ribs poking through the skin. He breathed into Seifer's mouth again, shouting "Come on!"
"One, two, three, four, five," Fujin counted under her breath. She could barely see through her tears as Squall breathed into Seifer again. "One, two, three, four, five." Again she counted. Again Squall breathed air into Seifer's lungs. The train picked up speed and started to race towards Esthar, and Squall and Fujin continued to work in time to save Seifer's life.
---
"No."
"Laguna..." Kiros began, ready to state his argument all over again. The two men were cloistered in one of the strategy rooms. "You have to think about your people, Laguna. If something happened to you"
"No," Laguna said again, arms crossed and eyes blazing.
"It could start a war! You need to go back to the Palace, where you'll be better protected. Where security is tighter."
"I'm not the target, Kiros."
The much taller man pinched the bridge of his nose. "Maybe not today, but what happens tomorrow? Xu and Garden are obviously getting desperate. How much longer until she realizes that she could use you to bring Squall out, especially now that Seifer's gone? And, we don't even know where Squall went."
"I'm not abandoning him again!" Laguna shouted.
Kiros jerked back in surprise. Laguna had never risen his voice to Kiros like that before, not in all the years they'd known each other. He slowly let out his breath, searching Laguna's face with his eyes. How could he argue? Laguna's eyes were brimming with tears, and he looked on the verge of falling apart. He was losing his son all over again, and staying here was the one way that he could still extend his hand to Squall, wherever he was.
"I don't know if he's going to come back, Laguna." On the surface, it seemed like such a heartless thing to say, but that's the way their relationship was. Kiros always pointed out the stark reality. Laguna would have been insulted if his dearest friend had tried to mollycoddle him, even at a time like this. Even about Squall. "He's been on suicide watch since he came here."
"I won't leave. Not when there's a chance."
"One more day," Kiros finally relented.
"He went after Seifer," Laguna said quietly, slumping into an old, battered chair. He looked so much older. "I wish I could have been more like him back then. I should have gone back home. I should have said 'fuck Adel and fuck Esthar', and gone anyway. She was more important than any of that."
"And, Ellone would have died, or worse. She would have become one of the Ladies In Waiting, or have been given to Azabaashe. You were where Raine wanted you to be." The Ladies In Waiting were girls that Adel thought had potential to be her successor, and had either been completely mentally crippled by Adel's psychological abuse, or had been outright lobotomized. Those were the lucky ones, since it meant that Azabaashe hadn't gotten to have them.
"But, would she have wanted me to leave Squall in an orphanage for all those years? He needed me."
"Cid and Edea took care of him."
"He needed me. And, I was trying so hard to make up for it... I wonder if I ever actually saw him for who he was. Maybe I just had this ideal for him, and pressured him into a life he didn't want to live. Because I was blinded by Rinoa being Julia's daughter, maybe? He probably never felt comfortable telling me about Seifer."
"Stop." Kiros put his hands on Laguna's shoulders and gave him a firm shake. "You can't blame yourself out of helplessness. It wasn't your fault, just like it wasn't Rinoa's fault, or even Seifer Almasy's fault. Squall's responsible for his own actions."
Laguna sighed and flopped his head down on the table, forehead connecting with a dull thud. "I wish I knew how to help him. He's not like Elle."
"There's a lot of your stubbornness in him," Kiros affectionately said. He looked over his shoulder when he heard a knock at the door. Laguna raised his head from the table quizzically. The soldiers knew not to interrupt when Kiros and Laguna were talking behind closed doors. The fact that it was Tiernan opening the door didn't bode well. He never would have barged in on a private conversation between his husband and a man who was essentially his brother-in-law. Not unless it was something very serious.
"Sweetheart, what happened?" Kiros asked, stepping forward and touching Tiernan's shoulder.
"Is it Quistis?" Laguna asked, quickly rising from his chair. "Is she...?"
Tiernan held up his hands, knowing that Laguna was about to start on a nervous ramble. "She's better than fine. That girl could survive an explosion. It's about Squall. Sorceress Rinoa just got contacted from outside by Alexander. Odin came back, saying that Squall and Fujin are riding a light train towards the Palace, and they have Seifer with them."
"What...?" Kiros asked, brow furrowed deeply. "But..."
"Alive. For now, anyway. Odin warned that he's seriously injured, and should be dead. I've already phoned ahead to Randorf to expect them." Randorf was the chief of the emergency room at the Royal Palace Hospital, the premiere hospital in Central Esthar. It was also within the Palace, and was where Tiernan normally worked as a surgeon.
"Is Squall okay?" Laguna demanded.
"I think so. I think he was in some kind of fight. Odin said he has broken ribs and maybe a broken jaw, and other internal bruising. You need to authorize a military airship back to the city. One that can transport an injured passenger," he added, meaning Quistis.
"Right." Laguna clapped Tiernan on the shoulder and headed for the door. "I guess we're going back after all. But, it's not because you said so."
"Of course not," Kiros answered dryly as Laguna swept out of the room like a whirlwind. "It's bad, isn't it?" He asked when he and his husband were alone.
"Yeah. Poor Rinoa was collapsing in tears having to tell me everything." Tiernan sighed, in that way he usually did when he was given a case where there was no hope, and treatment was just dulling someone's pain as they died. "He's delirious from fever, brought on by infection. He'd been tortured for days. Severe and prolonged electrocution, broken and mangled leg, broken ribs, stab wounds, massive burn on his back from boiling oil..." He leaned forward and rested his chin on Kiros's shoulder, his cheek against the other man's. Tiernan's skin was milky and snowy white compared to the deep cinnamon of Kiros's flesh. "Skin flayed away from his face, bleach in his eyes, impaled testicle. Hyne knows what else once someone actually gets to look inside him." His voice was robotic, but Kiros knew better. Tiernan always carried the hard cases with him. The many people he'd seen in his career who'd been tortured beyond saving. People like his family. His childhood friends. "I hope I don't have to tell Squall that even after risking his life, Seifer's going to die anyway."
---
Once they'd crossed the Estharian border, Odin had appeared in the car to inform Squall, Irvine and Fujin that he'd contacted Alexander. He, or rather it, would then pass a message onto Rinoa, who would tell Laguna. And, more importantly, Tiernan. When Odin had felt Seifer's aura, he'd known his injuries, and was able to tell so the doctors and healers within Esthar could be ready. Squall himself also needed a doctor, but his pain was of little concern to him. Seifer had stopped breathing two more times during the train ride to the Palace District of Central Esthar, but they'd brought him back both times. Though the light train was very fast, the trip felt like an eternity, and Seifer's fever was getting worse by the minute. Even the fact that they'd gotten to the hospital quickly and without incident held no comfort.
"Mr. Loire!" A nurse or administrator or whoever called when they carefully wheeled the gurney into the Palace's emergency room. People in Esthar who recognized Squall as Laguna's son, but didn't know him personally, often referred to him as Mr. Loire rather than by his mother's surname. He got tired of correcting them, so had stopped bothering some time ago. "Dear Hyne!" She exclaimed when she saw Squall, noticing him before Seifer. It was kind of hard not to notice that he was completely covered in dried blood and gore.
"He needs help."
"Yes, of course." The employee squared her shoulders and composed herself. "Dr. Murphy-Seagill just arrived an hour ahead of you and informed us all." More nurses and hospital staff came filing out of nowhere and took over around Seifer's gurney. Squall had to will himself to let go of Seifer's hand as they wheeled him towards the emergency surgery wing. "I love you," Squall whispered in his ear, so quietly that it was strictly private. Just between them. Squall watched them take Seifer away, seeing only him and the slight motions he made. The proof that he was alive.
"Squall!" Laguna shouting his name. It sounded like it was coming from above water. Muted. On another planet.
Laguna spotted Squall, standing alone and looking so lost. He started jogging towards his son, horror rising as he realized Squall was covered in blood. But, when he saw Irvine, he stopped dead in his tracks. At Kiros's insistence, he'd been carrying his trusty old machine gun since Quistis had been attacked, and he was now pulling it out and pointing it dead at Irvine's chest.
"Whoa!" Irvine exclaimed jovially. Nurses and passing doctors and attendants gasped at the sight of the gun, but nobody moved to disarm their President. Irvine raised his hands and gave a charming grin to the older man. "C'mon, Laguna... you wouldn't really shoot me, would you?"
Laguna grinned in turn, his smile just as carefree as Irvine's. Then, it vanished into a mask of icy coldness. It was the kind of look people saw on Squall's face all the time, but on Laguna's it was very unnerving. "To protect my son? You bet your fucking ass I would."
"Stop..." Squall murmured quietly. His voice was like dried leaves on the wind. Crackling and vanishing. He was still standing in place, watching the doors Seifer had disappeared through. "It's okay."
Laguna's eyes were unfriendly slits, but he did lower the gun. He dropped it completely on the floor and rushed to Squall, taking his son's face between his hands. Squall winced at the pressure against his jaw. It had started to swell, and his eyes were bruising under the dried blood.
"It's not my blood."
"Great Hyne!" Laguna exclaimed wearily. "I should wring your neck, you little bastard." He brought Squall to his chest in a fierce hug. Squall's entire concern was still with Seifer, but he couldn't help the moan that was wrenched from him. Each breath felt like lava had settled in his lungs, and the pressure of Laguna's well-meaning and loving arms made Squall taste bile on the back of his tongue.
"God! Sorry, sorry!" He gestured wildly towards a nurse for a wheelchair. Squall normally would have protested, but the fact that he didn't told how sore he was starting to feel. The adrenaline was seeping away, leaving only pain and worry.
"Wait!" Tiernan called, coming into the emergency reception area. He was wearing scrubs and ready for surgery. "Squall, there isn't a lot of time to wait for Seifer's medical records to be faxed from Dollet. Do you know if he has any medicinal allergies or medical conditions?" In an aside to the nurse, he discreetly said "Only give him this once, then go to low dose."
"No," Squall rasped out as Laguna gently pushed his shoulders down to make him sit in the wheelchair. Some nurse appeared out of nowhere and was turning Squall's arm over, trying to find a vein to attach an IV tube to. "Not that I know of." The jab of the IV couldn't be felt in comparison to the pain in the rest of his body.
Tiernan nodded briskly. "All right. We'll take care of him." Squall noticed he didn't say that Seifer was going to be okay. He was being vague on purpose. He didn't give Seifer much hope. Nobody ever had. And, he'd always proven them wrong. The thought made Squall smile in spite of himself. The motion didn't even hurt. Whatever was in the IV was kicking in, making him feel like his head was floating away from his body.
He could feel Laguna walking beside him, could feel the way Laguna's hand shook as he stroked Squall's hair. He was saying something about Esthar having the world's best doctors and medical equipment. He was saying Tiernan would do whatever he could, call in whoever he could, to make sure that Seifer pulled through. He felt his eyelids getting heavier from the painkillers. It made him feel light and faraway. The same feeling that booze and cocaine gave him. He could see himself enjoying this. And, Tiernan had seen that immediately in Squall. He probably got a lot of patients who wound up addicted to their painkillers.
Laguna was nervously rambling about how Tiernan was one of the best doctors in Esthar. He would touch Squall's hair, then his shoulder, then his arm, but Squall couldn't really feel it. The painkillers put him in a fog, and all coherent thoughts were about Seifer. But, then the sound of her voice cut through it all.
"Squall?!"
He blinked and looked up. Quistis was ghostly pale and wearing a white terrycloth bathrobe. Her hair was loose and her eyes were bright and furious. Serino was sitting on her shoulder, and made a worried little peep when he saw all the dried blood covering Squall.
"Why did you leave?" She demanded hotly. She crouched before his wheelchair, wincing as she did.
Squall noticed. "You're hurt."
She hated how he said it. So distant and impersonal. Whatever had happened to make him so covered in flaking, browning blood, it hadn't opened the cold steel walls around his emotions. "A Garden assassin came in, dressed as an Estharian soldier."
Squall could see a soldier in his peripheral vision, shadowing Quistis. But, Squall's eyes never left her face. "I didn't want you to get hurt," he mumbled. Despite the painkillers, talking was still a chore.
"Stop talking!" Laguna urged, seeing his son's discomfort at speaking. "Your jaw is probably broken!"
"WHY?" Quistis demanded, grabbing Squall's arms roughly. "Why did you leave me behind? What were you thinking?"
" ...I brought him home."
Quistis didn't think she'd heard the tiny whisper correctly, but Squall's words slowly sunk in. He'd gone to bring Seifer back. Seifer was here. "He's...?"
"He's hurt real bad."
All her anger seeped away in the form of a few lone tears trickling down her drawn cheek. She heard the wobble in Squall's drug-addled voice. He was afraid. "He's alive?" Her hands moved down Squall's arms until she was holding his hands in her own. "What about Xu?"
"Dunno."
"Quistis, can you ask him later?" Laguna asked, both understanding and impatient at the same time. "He needs x-rays and treatment."
"Can she come?" Squall asked, not letting go of her hands.
"Whose blood is it?" She asked as she slowly walked beside his wheelchair. There was too much red for it to all be Squall's. Jurgen was walking a dozen paces behind her. She knew he was armed, but he was pretty good at making his gun suddenly seem like it wasn't there at all. His presence was kind of comforting. She didn't have to look over her shoulder for the first time in a long time, because he would watch for her.
"Astor," Squall grunted.
"Dead?"
He nodded slowly.
Quistis squeezed his hand, feeling him feebly squeeze back as she said "Good."
---
Kiros didn't turn on the light when he silently entered Tiernan's office. He could see the pale green scrubs nearly glowing in the dim bluish light that permeated through the whole city, even in here. Tiernan was laying on the sofa, taking a mandatory rest until it was his turn to go back into the operating room. The couch was wide enough that slim Kiros was easily able to lay on the couch beside his more muscular husband. He wrapped his arms around Tiernan's body as he spooned him. The scrubs were clean and smelled of a mixture of astringent, talcum powder, and Tiernan's spicy aftershave. It was a familiar and comforting smell to Kiros. The first time he'd ever met Tiernan, he'd been wearing scrubs that had smelled that exact same way.
"You going back in?" Kiros whispered in Tiernan's ear after he kissed the back of his neck. After sleeping next to a person for almost fifteen years, you got to know when they were awake and when they were asleep.
"In four hours," Tiernan murmured, twining his fingers with Kiros's, and bringing his arm further around his waist. His voice sounded strained and exhausted. He slowly let out his breath and melted in the comfort of Kiros's embrace. "Diane is with him now." He was talking about a doctor named Diane Roth, an old friend and a very successful plastic surgeon. "Mmm, there," he murmured when Kiros's free hand started rubbing his sore shoulders, and found a tense knot.
This was by far not the first time that Tiernan had taken breaks during lengthy surgeries, and normally he didn't elaborate about anything going on in the theatre, so Kiros was surprised when Tiernan spoke next. "I don't even know how he's still alive. Realistically, he should have died days ago. Sheer willpower, I guess."
"You know what? Quistis Trepe told me that his mother was Dinara Von Munster, so it makes sense."
"Really?" Tiernan slightly rolled over so he was on his back looking up at Kiros's face, seeing only the highlights in the limited light. Kiros didn't know of La Draconia aside from word-of-mouth, but since Tiernan was Estharian, he knew more of her. Though he'd only seen her in pictures, she was a bit of a legend among those who'd been oppressed under Adel's brutal and tyrannical rule. Someone who'd actually stood up to such a monster. "Yeah..." He said as he thought of Dinara's face in those old photographs, then Seifer's when he'd met him at Ellone's wedding. "Yeah, I guess he is."
"I wonder if that means he'll be a target..." Kiros trailed off.
"I know you and Laguna think... he's still alive, but he's not." Tiernan said sourly. They'd had this discussion probably a hundred times over the course of their dating life and marriage. Kiros couldn't remember if Tiernan had ever actually said Azabaashe's name once during all those talks. "Can we not talk about that right now?"
"Of course," Kiros answered. He held Tiernan tighter against himself, wrapping both arms and legs around the other man. This was a ritual for them. Tiernan would relax and let the tension melt from his body under Kiros's touch, and then he'd be ready to go back into a difficult operation. The survival rate of these kinds of lengthy procedures wasn't very high, so it was always hard for a doctor to come back to a patient that may have died on the table despite all their work. Kiros stroked his long fingers across Tiernan's brow and around his pale eyes, the worry lines vanishing. Tiernan smiled up at Kiros in the dark, feeling the warmth of his skin through his lightweight linen shirt. He would never take Kiros for granted. As he saw daily, life was just too precious.
---
Eighteen hours later, Squall was sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair that did nothing to make his injuries feel better, watching as doctors and nurses scurried in and out of the emergency surgery wing. Some were reading charts and pointing out things. Some were chatting about what they were going to do on their days off. Golf and tennis and brunches with so-and-so. Some doctors were wearing their lab coats over smart outfits, their faces guarded and sombre. Off to give someone bad news about a loved one. Someone like Squall. Would Tiernan come out of there, wearing his lab coat over a grey or black outfit, looking handsome and coldly distant? Would he stand there and robotically tell Squall that the most important person in his life had finally given up and let himself die?
Quistis was sitting beside him, holding his hand for dear life with her other hand stroking through Serino's thick fur as he slept in her lap. Laguna would periodically tell them to go get some rest, but they wouldn't move. No matter how sore his ribs got now that the heavy painkillers were out of his system, Squall wouldn't budge. Raijin was also keeping the agonizing vigil with them, pacing back and forth, stopping dead whenever someone in scrubs or a lab coat pushed open the doors to the emergency wing. Out of the three of them, he was the most distraught looking. Squall wasn't letting himself feel anything, and Quistis was being stoic and brave. More for Squall's benefit than her own. She didn't know if she'd be able to keep that same bravery level if Tiernan really did come out and tell them Seifer was dead.
Rinoa would sometimes come and sit beside Quistis, or stand with Raijin and hold his hand. She didn't speak to Squall at all. It was way too horrible a time for them to hash out any dirty laundry, and Squall wasn't much interested in talking with anyone. Fujin hadn't made an appearance at all. Raijin wasn't surprised. She couldn't handle the idea that Seifer wasn't made of steel. He'd seen her briefly, and the look in her eye was one that he never thought he'd ever see before - fear. Fujin and fear didn't go well together, so she was staying away. She and Irvine were chained to a computer, trying to crack the data he'd stolen from the terminal in Fisherman's Horizon. Though getting Seifer back was all that was on Squall and Quistis's minds, there still was the huge issue of Xu and Garden. They couldn't even really bring charges to her about Seifer's torture since Garden had its own code of conduct and punishment. Besides, Seifer was a wanted criminal, accused of being an accessory to Cid Kramer's murder. He was Ultimecia's Knight. He'd almost been successful in resurrecting Adel. The public didn't care about cruel and unusual punishment against such a man. Not as long as Xu was painting him to be top public enemy.
Laguna looked over when he felt Squall's head come to rest against his shoulder. Though he kept telling Squall he should go lay down, he wasn't leaving either. He would sometimes be called away on governmental business, but then would come right back to sit in the chair beside Squall. He'd missed so many important moments in Squall's life, and he didn't want this to be another in that long list. Squall's eyes slid closed, and when his temple bumped against Laguna, they snapped open. He sat up again and shook off the fatigue. He concentrated instead on the pain in his ribs that he had to suffer through. There was unfortunately no cast for a broken ribcage.
"You should sleep," Laguna whispered.
Squall just stubbornly shook his head.
"You can't keep your eyes open."
Squall just shook his head again. If Seifer could survive everything Xu and Astor did to him, Squall could surely survive for a while without sleep. Even as he thought this, he had to fight his eyelids. They felt so heavy, and his head lolled against Laguna's shoulder again. He felt the warmth of his father's arm drape across his shoulders, and a kiss against the top of his head.
He wrestled against the fatigue, and his tired eyes snapped open when he heard Laguna say his name. From the way his mouth tasted and how stiff his neck felt, he'd failed against the tiredness. He hated himself for falling asleep. And, when he blearily looked up and saw Tiernan looking down at him, standing like a cold, distant statue, he hated himself even more. He'd fallen asleep, and Seifer had died.
"It's okay," Tiernan assured, briefly gripping Squall's shoulders. He'd seen the terror lurking under the icy surface of Squall's eyes. His emotions were like the great shadow of Leviathan trapped under the frozen crust of an arctic ocean. There and lurking, but not allowed to come to the surface. His eyes were so radically different than Laguna's in that regard.
"He's okay?" Quistis gasped. Her breath was stuck in the back of her mouth.
"He's alive," Tiernan corrected. He'd changed into some clean scrubs, but the sweatiness and exhaustion still hung on him. "He's still very critical, and we induced magical coma."
Squall disentangled himself from Laguna and Quistis and stood so he could look up into Tiernan's pale eyes. "I want to see him."
"Not just yet. He's in recovery right now, but he'll be moved to a room within the day. Squall, I..." It was the first time he'd seen Tiernan look so uncertain. "He shouldn't be alive."
"But, he is."
"I don't know what kind of mental damage he may have suffered from oxygen loss and the electrocutions. He may not even ever wake up. Surgeries of this magnitude are sometimes as damaging as the actual injuries. I've been told that he is of the dragoon lineage, correct?"
Quistis nodded, gripping Serino tightly to her chest.
"That means he has no surviving relatives that could be a perfect match for cornea donation. But, he is of Estharian blood, so the wait may only be a couple of months if we're lucky."
"He's blind?" Raijin asked in hushed tones. He'd come to stand beside Quistis, and put a firm hand on her shoulder. More to hold himself up than to comfort her. Rinoa stood silently beside him. She'd come to check on Seifer while Squall had been asleep. Her dark eyes were red-rimmed from the tears she'd shed for Seifer.
"Yes. They poured bleach or some similar mixture into his eyes. It looks like it was done slowly, so it's mostly surface damage, and can possibly be repaired with a cornea transplant. We'll have to see after a few days after we run more tests. He'll also need further surgeries on his leg. We put pins and rods in it, but if it doesn't heal well, there's still a fair chance of amputation. He's still got a high fever from the infection started in his groin. His lungs are weak, and one collapsed when punctured by a broken rib, so he's on machines to help him breathe. There was also a lot of internal bleeding and bruising, and we had to do a lot of stitching up to his stomach and kidneys. He's also at risk to further infections from the burns on his back, and the flaying of his facial skin," Tiernan explained brutally, voice not rising above a calm monotone. "There is a strong chance of massive organ failure within the next few days, and particularly within the next 24 hours."
"Isn't there any good news?" Raijin asked desperately.
"He's alive," Tiernan answered. "That's miracle enough. I believe dragoons held high physical constitution, so that could be the answer. But, I believe it's his willpower that's doing it. His heartbeat is strong, which is a very encouraging sign. Even with his fever, he was still trying to say your name before we put him under anaesthetics, Squall. That's a very good sign that he was mentally lucid. The facial lacerations were clean, so Dr. Roth was able to reattach the skin on Seifer's face and do a couple grafts, and there should be minimal scarring. We were unable to save his left testicle, but there shouldn't be any further nerve damage or loss of function. In a few days, we'll see how his heart is holding up, and remove him from the breathing machine. If that's successful, and the fever goes down, his chances will look much better."
"He's in really good hands." Laguna wrapped his arms around Tiernan and gave him a grateful hug. He barely knew Seifer, but he was so important to Squall that he became important to Laguna, too.
"I want to see him," Squall said again.
Tiernan patiently replied with "Soon. Please get some rest, Squall. You're not exactly healthy right now, either. Both of you." He gave a stern look to Quistis, as well. "I'll let you know when you can see Seifer. I promise." He put his hand on Squall's shoulder and gave it a squeeze before going towards his office to do paperwork and to rest.
"No," was Squall's grunted response.
"Doctor's orders. I'll have the guards drag you there if you don't go."
"You heard him!" Laguna ordered. "All three of you," he added, poking Raijin in the chest with a finger. "Come on." He put his hand on Squall's back and started ushering him towards the telepod.
Squall shrugged away from Laguna's touch. "I want to see him."
"Squall..." Laguna began tiredly.
"NO!" Squall shouted. "I want to see him! I have to!" His voice echoed loudly in the hallway. "I have to..." He repeated, voice quavering. The outburst caused a few tears to come down his cheeks. "I... I need to... to ap-ap... apologize..." Squall gasped. His voice was breaking and stuttering with the weight of his emotions pressing against it. His eyes were so full of tears that it blocked everything out of his vision. Now that he'd let a small part of those pent-up emotions reach the surface, the rest of them were following. It was like the power of the ocean cresting a levee. "I... I-I-I... I should h-ha-have saved hi-him," Squall whispered, trying to hold his breath. As long as he held his breath, it wouldn't come out. He tried to tell himself that, but it was still welling inside him in a big, painful swell. "I should h-have... bel-believed in him. I s-s-shou-should have saved him s-s-ooner..."
Laguna felt so helpless as he witnessed Squall collapsing. The tears started flowing freely and quickly as he gasped for air and some control over himself. It was the worst feeling in the world as a parent when you knew that you couldn't save your child from pain. All Laguna could do was catch Squall when he fell. And when Squall's face crumpled and he let out a small sob, that's what Laguna did. He reached for his son and hugged him tight when a loud wail tore from Squall's throat. It was a heartbreaking scream of agony, like his heart was being ripped out. Laguna knew that noise well. He'd made it the day Raine died.
The agony poured out of him, formed in screams that fell into Laguna's chest. Squall balled his father's shirt in his fists, unable to hold himself up. His dead weight was too much for Laguna to hold up alone, so Laguna let himself sink to his knees, gently bringing Squall down with him. Squall gasped for air as he sobbed, his pain and sadness and guilt overtaking him. The sobs burned his broken ribs and swollen jaw. Each breath was searing fire, each heartbeat was a ragged wound. All the emotions that he'd locked away raged out of him, and all he could do was cling to Laguna as he drowned in it.
Laguna held Squall fiercely and silently. He knew there was nothing he could say at a time like this. His shirt front was soaked through with tears and snot, and Squall eventually began to grow quiet against him. Squall sniffled and clenched the wet fabric of Laguna's shirt harder in his fists. He felt completely raw and empty, and it was only compounded by the gentle warmth of Quistis's hand on his back. The comforting warmth. The love. He was even too drained to feel the humiliation he would have normally felt for breaking down like this at all, let alone in front of a bunch of people.
Laguna tried to urge Squall to his feet, but Squall murmured incoherently and refused. He started to try and wrestle against him, but was then held from behind by much stronger, larger arms. Raijin, who'd stood in completely silence as Squall emotionally collapsed, was now holding him, and jabbed Squall's arm with a syringe a nurse had given him. It was full of sleeping serum, and it almost immediately caused Squall's body to fold like an envelope.
Laguna sighed, looking up at Raijin. "Can you take him to his room?" Squall was only an inch shorter than he was, so he wouldn't have been able to carry his son's dead weight. But, Raijin was so much larger than both of them.
"Of course," Raijin replied, voice thick with emotion. Being very empathic, it had been very hard for Raijin to watch Squall come apart at the seams like that. Squall always seemed so unflappable to him, and he'd never personally witnessed any of Squall's drunkest or highest moments, so this had been rather shocking to him. In his arms, Squall seemed so tiny and frail. So human. He felt like precious cargo. Squall's feeling of helplessness where Seifer was concerned wasn't mutual. Raijin wanted so badly to help his mentor and friend, and just didn't know how. The only thing he could do was to watch over Squall while Seifer couldn't.
---
The smell of ammonia and heavy-duty cleaners stung Luchia's eyes and nose, but she didn't utter a curse under her breath. She didn't complain at all as she cleaned up the gore that had once been Astor. She and Astor had worked together for a long time, even before becoming SeeD, but she didn't necessarily care that he was dead. Her only 'regret' was that he'd lost control of the situation. She'd known it was a mistake to let Seifer Almasy live. They should have just let Nida's bullet kill him, or put one in his brain themselves. If they had, maybe she wouldn't have found Astor here with his severed genitals stuffed into his own mouth.
She also thought that Xu had lost control of things. She wasn't here cleaning up giant pools of blood because she had deep feelings about Xu. Her only real deep feelings were for duty. People often compared her to Squall Leonhart in that regard, which she thought was highly incorrect. She'd culled her emotions for duty years ago. Squall was just too shy to let his out. No... Xu had let things get out of hand. Luchia really did think that Garden would be better, more efficient, under Xu's control, but she'd let her personal vendettas get in the way, and her desires for a man. Those weaknesses had let her give herself over to Eden. The manufactured GF was no longer a weapon - it was a possession.
Luchia raised her head from the mopping when a different kind of smell caught her sense and completely broke through the harsh chemicals. It was old and musty. Like someone had opened a box that had been sitting in a damp basement for ten years. A closed up room. An opened crypt. There was nothing in the room besides the pile of dead SeeD, with Astor laying on top, all waiting to be burned. Luchia leaned against the mop handle and sniffed at the air. It smelled unpleasant, but she couldn't nose the source.
She turned back to the ugly task at hand, the mop head now saturated red. She'd need to replace it again. Once again, the musty smell filled the air, and she actually showed a moment of annoyance as she turned around to face the heap of bodies. Maybe one of them was starting to turn. The facility wasn't warm, but they had been dead for almost two days now. Nearly anyone else would have screamed when they saw that there was someone standing in front of the corpse heap. But, Luchia's reaction of shock was a raise of her eyebrows and a slight parting of lips. The exhalation of surprised breath was barely audible.
"I didn't mean to startle you, Miss Blackwell," the man greeted pleasantly. He held up his hands to show that he was unarmed. His skin was as pale as her own, though it looked more like illness than natural complexion. His hair was thinning, grey and brittle. So was the thick moustache on his face, a few years out of style.
"How did you get in here?" Luchia demanded, her arm immediately going behind her, where her staff was strapped to her back.
"Through the front door," the man answered pleasantly. His clothes were a little out of style, and that's where the smell seemed to be coming from. It was like he'd chosen a suit that had been stored in a musty attic for a couple of decades. "I really do mean you no harm. I just came to deliver you a message." Keeping one hand up as a gesture of harmlessness, the mysterious man used the other to reach into the moth-bitten coat. He pulled out a thick ivory envelope and extended it.
Luchia just looked at him, but he held the envelope out patiently. He was in no rush. "What is this nonsense?"
"I'm merely a messenger, Madam. It was deemed best to come to you while you weren't with your commanding officer." The man spoke with an accent that sounded somewhat Estharian, though a little different than the ones she was used to hearing from Esthar's public figures.
"What kind of message?"
"I know not. I was only bidden to deliver it, not read it." He stared at her evenly, and his eyes left stone-cold Luchia feeling chilled for other reasons entirely.
Luchia stood staring down this man for five long, long minutes. His arm didn't waver as he held the envelope out to her. There was an old-fashioned seal closing it up, some kind of crest imprinted into the black wax. Luchia's curiosity finally won out, and she took a step towards the man. When he didn't move to attack, she took another. She came only close enough to snatch the letter out of his hand. This close, the musty smell was nearly overpowering. Once she had it, his arm dropped. The expression in his eyes never changed. Actually, there was no expression. Awareness, yes. But, no feeling. No light. Even Luchia's cold glare reflected the light around her and showed human thought processes lurking under the thick ice. Not his.
"Contact information is within. I hope you will seriously consider what's written inside." The man dipped his head in a respectful bow, and turned to leave.
"Wait," Luchia commanded. Normally, nobody would have ignored her when she stated such an iron order, but the man kept walking as if he'd suddenly gone deaf to everything around him. The envelope felt cold and thick in her hand. She took a few steps to go after the messenger, but some sort of instinct inside her caused her steps to halt. Some primal human sense told her to stay put. She brought the envelope to her nose. It smelled only slightly musty, but in the way paper naturally does when it was as old-fashioned as this expensive parchment. No, the smell had been coming from the messenger.
Luchia examined the seal in the wax, but it was one she'd never seen before. It looked like a raven with wings spread, perched on a pointed crown. She flipped the envelope over, and saw Miss Luchia Blackwell written in very elegant script. As she examined her own name on the envelope, she thought of the messenger's strange eyes. So dull and flat looking and drained of colour. She traced the handwriting with her fingertips and sniffed at the envelope again, overtaken by a thought that seemed completely insane, yet seemed so coldly plausible. Could it be true that this letter had just been delivered by a dead man?