Operation: Mariposa

by Scarlet Fever

Seifer/Squall slash! Rated M for Graphic language, violence, sexual content and drug/alcohol use. What do you do when your whole world turns against you? Been a while since I posted a fic on here! Work In Progress!

14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The first day was the hardest. When Squall woke up, he found himself in bed with Quistis and Serino. He felt sluggish from the drugs, and when he tried to sit up, his ribs punished him brutally. He struggled to a sitting position, sweaty and out of breath. He mechanically showered, but found that he was paying more attention to his appearance than he had in days. He shaved carefully, made sure his hair was presentable. He also particularly made sure he smelled nice. He did this all subconsciously, wanting to please what senses Seifer could still use. He put on clean clothes and made his way to the hospital wing, all without waking Quistis. He knew she wanted to see Seifer badly, but he wanted a few moments alone with him first.

Tiernan finally relented to let Squall see Seifer, but only for a little while. Squall was made to change the nice black sweater and slacks he'd chosen to wear in favour of surgical scrubs. He had to also wear the sterile paper slippers and surgical cap and mask. Seifer was still prone to infection, but Tiernan was pleased to inform Squall that Seifer's fever seemed to have broken. It was still high, but wasn't climbing. It would go completely away within the next twenty-four hours.

"You should stop being so surprised if you're going to be Seifer's doctor," Squall had said. His voice was still dull, but there was life in his eyes again. "He doesn't give up easily."

What made the first day the hardest was when Squall got his first glimpse of Seifer. Somehow, seeing him all bandaged up like this, hooked up to machines and tubes, seemed so much worse than when he'd been covered in blood. All the casting and white bandaging just hammered home how many injuries Seifer had. He was laying on his left side. Luckily, if anything could be considered lucky, most of his injuries were to the right side of his body so he could easily be laid in the hospital bed.

Squall, in his papery scrubs, sat in the uncomfortable chair beside the bed, not knowing where to touch Seifer. There wasn't much bare skin. His face was mostly bandaged up, but half his mouth was free so he gently kissed the set, parched lips and touched Seifer's palm, very careful around the finger casts. Seifer's skin still felt very warm, and very much alive. Squall hadn't thought that he could have any more tears inside him, but they came as he watched Seifer sleep, his eyes taped shut with pillows of gauze. Did he even know that Squall was there? Would he ever wake up from this coma?

The second day was a little easier. They still had to wear the scrubs, but Squall was allowed to stay longer, and Quistis and Raijin were also allowed in at the same time as him for a small fraction of time. Rinoa wanted to come in, but Tiernan worried about her magical aura and how it would affect Seifer's precarious magical and physical immune system. So, she could only stand outside and watch through the window. Serino would sit on her shoulder, naturally drawn to her magic. Faeries gravitated to magic like moths to light. Even Diablos found himself wanting to be near the Sorceress when she would come outside to visit Alexander. Squall would stay until Tiernan came to throw him out. He would leave only after placing a very gentle kiss on Seifer's half-bandaged mouth. Did he even feel it? Did he know Squall was there? Did he know he was in Esthar? Or, did he think he was still under Astor's malicious hands, either strapped into a gurney or locked under that horrible trap door? Was he even aware at all...?

And today. The third day. Squall was once again banished to the hallway, and now he carefully watched Tiernan's shadow through the window looking into the room. He was giving his patient one last exam before he took Seifer off the breathing machine. The magical coma had been lifted that morning, but Seifer hadn't woken up. The magic was just to keep him in the coma he was already in.

"She should be here," Raijin muttered under his breath, pacing. "She should totally be here."

Squall watched as Tiernan started to turn off the breathing machine. His fingernails dug hard into his palm. He kept digging them in, watching every muscle in Tiernan's back. He studied every move, every twitch, trying to read them. He seemed tense and nervous. From outside the room, they couldn't hear the heart monitor beeping, but Quistis's hand constricted around Squall's wrist and Serino let out a small chirp of dismay when they saw the line's smooth pattern disrupt and become jagged peaks and valleys. But, Tiernan just watched instead of immediately trying to get a crash cart or give Seifer any more drugs in his IV drip. After a few moments, the heart monitor evened out, and became a constant pattern.

"Thank Hyne," Quistis breathed, leaning into Squall and pressing her cheek against his neck. Serino petted Squall's hair from his perch on the brown-haired man's shoulder.

Squall slowly let out his breath, only now realizing that he'd been holding it the entire time. He unfurled his fists, and felt the wetness of blood trickle down his palm.

"He's okay, right?" Raijin demanded even before Tiernan was completely in the hallway.

"Yes," he answered, a relieved smile playing on his lips. Seifer really was one of the most miraculous patients he'd ever had. "I'll keep a close eye on him over the next 24 hours, but right now it's very promising. Aaaannndd..." He held his arm out to block Squall, who was already moving to go back into the room. "No visitors until tomorrow."

"Bullshit!" Quistis exclaimed in protest.

Tiernan gave her one of those stern, fatherly kind of looks. "I want to make sure his immune system won't take a dive now that his body has to do more work. And he needs rest. So do you. You all look terrible. Oh, and get your hands bandaged up, Squall." He patted Squall's cheek and made his way to the nurse's station.

"He didn't even look at your hands," Quistis marvelled. "How did he know...?"

Instead of looking happy about Seifer's progress, Raijin's dark eyes were even blacker with anger. "She should have been here."

"You mean Fujin?" Quistis asked.

Raijin grunted irritably and started to stalk towards the telepod hallway. The hospital had one of the largest concentrations of teleporters in one spot.

"You going to find her?" Quistis asked, falling into step beside the large man as she dragged Squall behind her. Serino fluttered off Squall's shoulder and came to rest on Quistis's. "I'll come too. I want to find out if she and Irvine were able to crack that hard drive info." Squall tried to pull away from her, but Quistis would have none of that, and he could only follow.

They got to the telepod, and Quistis automatically waited for Jurgen to join them. She was quite used to his presence by now, and found him impossible to shake. She'd tried a couple times, but it didn't take him long to catch up to her. Rinoa would ask not-so-subtle questions regarding Quistis's opinion of Jurgen. Quistis knew that Rinoa thought he was a good match, and she found that the idea got less silly each day. But, it still didn't stop the former Instructor from turning the tables on Rinoa by asking her about Raijin. The way Rinoa would look at him when she thought nobody was looking hadn't escaped Quistis's notice. The way she would blush and immediately change the subject away from romance also spoke volumes.

"Where's Rinoa today?" Quistis asked casually when she, the moogle and the three men had seated themselves in the telepod. It's thin, protective barrier rose, and they started floating along the rails.

"Huh?" Raijin broke out of his angry funk. "Umm, I think she was meeting with Edea today, ya know?! She's been neglecting her lessons because of Seifer. I should probably text her to tell her Seifer's okay. At least she cares."

"Fujin cares," Quistis defended as Raijin pulled out his phone.

"I wonder," was his tense reply. "Tia never texted back yet..." He trailed off. His anger became sadness. "I want to talk to her, but I don't know if Garden's watching her. It might put her in danger if they know I've been in contact with her. But, I guess she doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe she doesn't want to because of what everyone's saying about Seifer, ya know?!"

"If she loved you, that wouldn't matter. But, maybe she's not contacting you for the same reason you're not contacting her. She might think Xu's watching her."

He just grunted as the telepod stopped.

"You know anything about hacking a computer mainframe?" Quistis asked of Jurgen as they walked towards the room Irvine and Fujin had commandeered. She never spoke much to the grey-eyed guard, but still felt like she knew him.

"Some, but I don't think that I would have more knowledge about Garden's systems than you would."

"Maybe they just need fresh eyes" Quistis wondered aloud. But, she didn't quite believe her own hopefulness.

"I will, though. Look at it, I mean..." He offered, sounding uncharacteristically nervous. Quistis also noticed the tentative flirtatiousness. He sounded embarrassed about it, knowing that it wasn't the best time for this sort of thing.

"I appreciate it," Quistis answered diplomatically. She knew that she felt some sort of attraction to Jurgen, but didn't know what to do about it. Her mistrust of others was still so high that she didn't want to let anyone in. She may have been talking to Rinoa again, but there was till a barrier there that she wasn't too keen on letting down just yet. Rinoa, and even Raijin, Fujin and Irvine, were left just at arm's reach. She wasn't sure what would happen with any other SeeD. Would she ever be able to forgive them? Would Selphie and Zell ever make their way past these new protective shields? Would Rinoa and Raijin? Would anyone besides Squall and Seifer? As she thought this, she cast a sidelong glance at Jurgen. Nida's betrayal was so raw and fresh that she couldn't look at any man in a potentially romantic light without thinking of it.

Raijin stormed ahead of them towards the alcove where Irvine and Fujin were huddled together in front of a laptop. They looked tired and rumpled, and the floor was littered with empty pop cans and paper food containers with forks sticking out from within them. Fujin barely had time to look up before Raijin was yanking her to her feet. Irvine blinked and looked up in surprise. Not just because of Raijin's sudden and uncharacteristic anger, but also because nobody ever manhandled Fujin. Ever. He rather expected that his Neptune would literally rip Raijin's arm out.

"Why the fuck didn't you come up?" Raijin hissed, hunched down so he could glare into her eye. His face was very pale with anger.

"UNHAND," she demanded simply, looking down to his hand around her arm, then back up to his enraged face.

"He could have died, ya know?!"

"We're trying to find a way to stop Xu," Irvine pointed out calmly.

"He needs you there."

"SO WHAT?" She shouted back, wrenching her arm away from him. "He's a fucking VEGETABLE!"

Raijin's fist came up as fast as a cobra, and in his heart he had been ready to strike her. It frightened him enough that he lowered it again before he could follow through with the punch. He brought that hand to his mouth and looked at her. Fujin blinked and she looked as surprised as he felt. In all the times she'd been physically abusive with Raijin, he'd never raised a hand to her. It just wasn't in his heart to be violent, and that he really had been ready to punch her was shocking.

"He knows we're there," Raijin whispered. "And, he needs us again." His voice broke, and he still couldn't look at Fujin with anything other than distaste. When Seifer had been so low after Ultimecia, there hadn't been any hesitation on Fujin's part to be at his side. He hated her for not staying by his side. He hated her for turning her back on them and not being brave enough to see Seifer at his weakest. But, maybe he could have forgiven it if she wasn't sitting here instead, associating with Sol. He knew deep down that Seifer hadn't wanted the life Irvine had offered as Jupiter, but Fujin embraced being Neptune. Some of these underlying feelings must have shown in his eyes, because Fujin's expression became closed and cold.

"I don't want to watch him die."

"You've watched other people die, right? Why is it so different this time?"

Fujin opened her mouth to let out a furious, monosyllabic retort, but Raijin cut his large hands through the air, not wanting to hear anything she had to say right now. "Whatever, ya know?! I don't want to hear it."

"RAIJIN!" Fujin called angrily as he turned his back on her and stormed up the hallway. He didn't make any motion that he'd heard her.

Quistis instinctively reached her hand out for Squall. Seeing two such close friends at odds made her yearn for his closeness. But, her hand gripped around nothing. She looked beside her then over her shoulder, but Squall wasn't there. "Squall?" She asked quietly.

"He went in there, kupo." Serino pointed to a room to the right.

"Squall?" Quistis gently called from the doorway. It was a dimly lit, posh office. Squall was standing in front of a sideboard, his back to her. The top of the sideboard was covered in fancy alcohol bottles, probably for after-meetings drinks, or to woo somebody important.

"What the fuck?!" Quistis demanded, stalking across the room and slapping Squall upside the head. They both let out a hiss of pain after. Quistis, because the quick raising of her arm pulled at her stab wound stitches, and Squall because of his cracked ribs.

"I didn't drink any," Squall muttered mulishly. "...even if I wanted to." He slowly put the bourbon back, fingers playing almost lovingly down the bottle's neck. He could feel Quistis's eyes drilling into the side of his face. "I remember what I was like in Timber, okay?!" He stated angrily. She was now on a level that only Seifer shared, where he could know her thoughts without her having to say anything. "I was just... smelling it." He touched the bottle again, really wanting to drink from it.

"He wouldn't blame you if you fell, Squall. Just as long as you picked yourself up again."

"I'd blame me."

"You can't make him the only reason for sobriety. That's too much pressure to put on him."

Squall sucked on the inside of his cheek. "I'm not" He stopped, knowing whatever he was going to say next would be a lie, at least partially.

"I know there are a lot of AA groups within the Palace alone. You really should go, at least to a one-on-one counsellor." Even though they were in Esthar, and at least relatively safe as long as they stayed within the sanctuary of the Palace, their mistrust of anyone outside their triumvirate was palpable.

"Quisty..." Squall began sharply.

"We aren't in the Centra mountains anymore," she replied, just as sharply. "We're back in the real world, and we have to deal with our real world problems."

"What real world?" He snapped, turning his head and glaring at her. "We aren't part of society. We're wanted criminals. Every day we're here puts Esthar in danger of war, and Seifer is in a coma. So, what's the fucking point?" He could feel wetness on his fingertips from where he'd touched the bottle when opening it. Some alcohol must have splashed out, or been trapped in the cap. It felt warm and inviting on his skin, and his helpless anger made his need for that warm liquid rise. He couldn't help himself and brought his fingers to his mouth, licking the bourbon off them. The hot, sharp taste of the alcohol exploded in his mouth like heaven. It was such an alcoholic thing to do, the way he was almost obscenely licking all the alcohol off his fingertips, but at that moment he didn't care. The euphoria only lasted a brief second before regret and shame kicked in, but it was such a strong, perfect moment that he savoured it.

Quistis just watched in disgust, shaking her head. "We're still alive. All three of us," she answered quietly. Bitterly. "That's the point."

Squall just glared at her because he knew she was right, and hated it. She left the room, and instantly was saddened by even the slightest argument with Squall. With Seifer comatose, and possibly that way forever, Squall was all she had. Again. But, she didn't go back in the room. She didn't want to watch him start drinking again. She'd seen the desire in his eyes to fall off the wagon, and she felt so helpless because she really didn't blame him for wanting to escape into his alcohol-fuelled world. So, instead she watched Fujin and Irvine, hunched over a laptop trying to crack the mysterious email. It made her feel just as helpless. It was a futile effort. They'd never be able to unlock the information. Xu would have been too careful about that. And, she really was waiting for the slightest opportunity to start a war. Their presence was dangerous to Esthar. And, the whole world was dangerous to them.

"I'm going to Seifer's room," Quistis said dully to Jurgen. He'd been silent like a ghost, but always present. "I don't want you to follow me." She stared firmly into his eyes. It was the most eye contact she'd given anyone besides Seifer and Squall in a long time.

"I have to, Ms. Trepe. I'm under orders." He stared right back.

"The hospital wing is already secure. I'll be fine."

"I can't allow that. President Loire gave strict instructions."

"I'll tell him I ordered you to stay behind. I just want to visit him alone, all right?"

Jurgen was silent for a long time, his grey eyes searing her. "Fine," he finally relented.

"Good." Quistis walked to the teleporters that headed back to the hospital wing. But, at a junction, she pressed a button so she could be taken to a different part of the Palace.

"Why didn't you want him to come, kupo?" Serino asked. He could tell that they were attracted to each other, Quistis and this soldier. But, human courtship procedures baffled the moogle. His only experience with the coupling of humans were two men, so perhaps this was something specific to males and females.

"Because I don't want him to ask questions, or try to stop me." She actually felt bad for partially lying to Jurgen, but she wanted to be alone for this part of her trip. She'd meant what she said about wanting to visit Seifer alone, but she wanted to make a stop along the way. They couldn't live like this any longer, and it was time that she stopped letting her life just happen to her, like she always let it, and she finally took control of things.

---

"You okay?"

Raijin sharply took in his breath and jerked when he heard a voice very close to him, and felt a touch on his shoulder. He looked up to see Rinoa standing in front of him with concern washed across her heart-shaped face.

"Sorry," Rinoa apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you. But, I guess you were in your own little world." She didn't comment on how his cheeks were wet and splotchy, and his eyes were bloodshot. "I got your text about Seifer," she said delicately. "Has something else happened?"

"Huh?" He looked at her in confusion as she sat down beside him on the plush leather sofa that was in one corner of his rooms in the Palace. He realized she thought the tears were for Seifer. "Oh, no... he's fine, ya know?!" Raijin turned his face away from her, embarrassed that she was seeing him like this. "If you can even call it that," he added under his breath.

She heard him. "I do. I know he's going to get better."

"I almost hit Fujin today."

Rinoa pursed her lips, taken aback. It was true she didn't know Raijin that well yet, but even when he'd been on the opposing side during the Garden War, he'd held back in their fights, particularly with Selphie, Quistis and herself. "Why?"

"I'm so angry with her. Seifer needs her, and..." He trailed off, feeling emotion rising in him again in the form of tears. "I can't fucking trust her anymore!" He blurted out. He then took in his breath, as if this declaration shocked him. "I can't trust her," he repeated sadly. It killed him to admit it, but it was true. Raijin didn't know if he could ever look at rock-solid, steady Fujin the same way again. She was tainted. "I can forgive Seifer, but..." He looked over to Rinoa. "Why can't I forgive it from her?"

Rinoa thought for a moment, taking one of his large hands in between both of her own. "Maybe... maybe because you can see why Seifer would have become an assassin. Maybe you can understand that he felt he had nowhere else to turn, and that he'd been so damaged by Ultimecia that being a killer was all he was good for. With Fujin... her motives aren't as clear. You don't understand why. Maybe you should ask her."

"She wouldn't tell me. Fujin's so closed. Even with us, ya know?! Deep down, I think she just likes it." He bowed his back and rested his chin on his knees. "Or, that Garden made us all like that. I made sure that I never killed anyone, but there was always death all around me. Most Garden cadets weren't so careful. I mean, Irvine's Sol, ya know?! Fujin and Seifer are both in his group. What other SeeD could be?" He blurted out, the words coming like a tide. "Look at Squall! All that blood on him when he brought Seifer back was Astor's. You don't lose that much blood and not die a horrible death, ya know?! Look at what Xu's become!" He stopped himself with a vicious shake of his head. "I... I'm not making any sense, ya know?!"

"Yeah, you are." Rinoa squeezed his hand. "It's stuff you felt for a long time, and it's just coming out now. Fujin being Neptune is just the straw that broke the chocobo's back. I felt the same way. Still do. Like I wasn't part of their world, and never would be. I didn't understand where they were coming from in fights, and I still don't."

"Thanks," he mumbled into his knees. "For listening, ya know?! You've got your own problems to worry about."

"It's all right." She wanted to tell him that it was more than all right. She wanted to tell him how close she felt to him right then, how she wanted to be enveloped in his arms and feel the warmth of his skin. She hadn't been embraced like that in a long, long time. Even when she and Squall had been together, his caresses had been so distant, and she wanted Raijin's closeness. But, she didn't tell him. She remained silent.

"Do you... ya know, blame Seifer for breaking you and Squall up?"

"Squall broke Squall and I up," Rinoa replied, fiddling with the necklace she wore. It was a small silver charm shaped like a bone, with the name Angelo engraved in it. A memento of her beloved dog. "I... well, I guess I shouldn't lie, since you were so honest with your feelings about Fujin. I was angry. Maybe I still am. I mean, of course I didn't want any of this to happen to Seifer, but I just wish that they would have told me the truth sooner. It just made me feel so stupid that they didn't think I could handle the truth. I know that Quistis and Seifer didn't think it was their place, and did put pressure on Squall to come clean, but they... I dunno. Maybe they should have just gone against their loyalty for Squall, because the situation wasn't helping anyone. It hurt that they saw me as that naïve and helpless. It makes me doubt myself."

"You shouldn't. Wanting to see the best in people and believe they won't lie to the people closest to them isn't naïve. If it is, then I'm right there with you as the most naïve person in the world, ya know?!"

"That's not a bad thing."

Raijin couldn't help but smile as he wiped his cheeks dry. "Tia said the same thing, ya know?! It sucks that I haven't been able to talk to her. Hope she's not mad, ya know?!"

"She won't be," Rinoa answered quietly, sure she was wincing from the words that dug into her chest like a knife.

"Thanks," he replied quietly, slowly rising to his feet. He put a large hand on her shoulder, then bowed at the waist so he could kiss the crown of her black hair.

Rinoa watched him go, and bit her lips tight together. In that moment of bitter jealousy, she understood what Squall must have felt while they were dating. Had Squall or Seifer hated her, just a little bit, just like she hated Tia now?

---

Quistis looked up from the deep grey coloured silk yarn she was knitting with when she heard the papery rustle of surgical scrubs and gentle footsteps. After her errand, she'd been sitting beside Seifer's bedside in a quiet vigil that had already lasted a few hours. It was nice to have this peacefulness, despite Seifer's severe condition. He wouldn't have blamed her for enjoying it. They still had to wear surgical scrubs, but Seifer's risk of infection had gone down exponentially since his fever had broken. It'd allowed Tiernan to start a magical course of treatment for the more minor injuries.

Squall came to the bedside and leaned over Seifer, gently kissing his set, down-turned lips. These quiet moments beside Seifer were the only times that Squall smiled. He stroked a small patch of unbandaged cheek before settling in his usual chair. The desperation and pleading in his eyes were so painfully evident. As if Seifer would wake up if Squall wished it hard enough.

Quistis continued to knit, but kept her eyes glued to Squall's face. He was only looking at Seifer, touching his hand and gently resting his chin on Seifer's chest. The clicking of Quistis's needles and the beeping of Seifer's machines were the only noise.

"Do I look drunk?" Squall asked. His voice was quiet, but full of venom.

"No," Quistis admitted, only briefly looking down at the sweater she'd started knitting so she could turn it to the wrong side.

"Because I'm not."

"Oh?" She asked casually, starting to purl.

"You were right. Is that what you want to hear?" He asked, rubbing his cheek against Seifer's chest with the most delicate of pressure. He smelled like astringent and medicine, but Squall could smell his natural scent just underneath.

"Naturally."

"I went to an AA counsellor. Privately."

"And?" She lowered the knitting into her lap and looked at him intently. "How'd it go?"

Squall shrugged. "Dunno. Fine. Whatever."

"Squall..."

He interrupted with "There isn't much to tell, Quisty. We just talked."

"It's still hard to imagine you talking about something so personal with a complete stranger. Or, even your friends. Or anyone besides the two of us. Or, even me."

"She can't tell anyone. And, I mean... bottling things up is how I got into this mess. I do learn my lessons sometimes. I just take the hard way around." He smiled gently as he said this, eyes glued to Seifer's face. It was another way that they were so alike.

"He's proud of you."

"I know..." Squall trailed off, voice hitching and thickening.

They fell back into their pleasant silence. It was just the three of them again. They did little and said nothing, but just listening to Quistis's knitting needles and Seifer's breathing, now all on his own, was complete. After a nurse broke their sanctuary to check on Seifer's vitals and left silence in her wake once more, Squall put his arms around Seifer's thin waist and lay with him, half on the bed, half in the chair. Seifer's stomach moved up and down under his cheek and felt warm and alive. "Are you going to tell me what that rolled up thing is there?"

"Huh?" Quistis's needles stopped moving. "How did you...?" Her surprise was genuine. She then laughed quietly. "You never cease to amaze me." Her sapphire eyes twinkled with affection behind a new pair of glasses. She started knitting again. "Not here."

"They're blueprints, aren't they?"

She just chuckled again, holding up the partially knitting sleeve to check it out. "We need to stop her," she said firmly, but didn't raise her voice above a hushed, hospital-fitting whisper.

Squall's eyes opened and he looked up at her. "I can't even think about that right now."

"Well, you better," was the sharp answer. "You think killing Astor solved anything, no matter how you did it?" She asked, voice lowering to an intense hiss. She'd never asked Squall exactly what he'd done to Astor, and she didn't really want to know. She was certain it'd been horrible, though. "She's the one that was pulling his strings. And, we need to be free again. We need to save Garden. And," she continued when Squall started to open his mouth to disagree on something or other. "Seifer would say the exact same things, except he wouldn't be so diplomatic. He'd tell you that he doesn't want to be someone's prisoner anymore, and that you've spent enough of your relationship sneaking around."

Squall's facial muscles twitched in displeasure. "You're surprisingly deft at trash-talking. You start off so nice, and then it's a quick shiv to the ribs."

"You tend not to respond well to subtlety."

He didn't answer, and glared at her for a while from where his head rested on Seifer's abdomen. Instead of looking at the smug smirk on her face, he watched her fingers as she knit.

"She probably would have made changes," Quistis murmured vaguely. "So, we'll have to compensate." Though they were in a safe place, she didn't want to discuss her plans. The pain in her ribs was a constant reminder that there were Garden spies everywhere, even in what was supposed to be their safe haven.

"And, he just let you take Estharian property blueprints?" He was referring to Jurgen.

Quistis shrugged, the clicking of her needles never wavering. She wondered if Seifer could hear it, and would know that she was there. "I just told him I wanted to visit Seifer alone."

"Him wanting to fuck you had nothing to do with it?"

Quistis opened her mouth, but thought better of her attempted protest. "That's not high on my list of priorities."

"I notice you didn't say you didn't think of him that way. He is attractive."

"In case you've forgotten, Squall, the last time I just went to bed with a man... it didn't go so well. Or, what happened the last time I had feelings for a man?" She looked over at Seifer and sucked on the inside of her cheek.

"But, Xu was paying him."

"That doesn't make it better. And, that doesn't excuse Nida."

"You never considered that he might have been the one to tip Irvine off about Seifer?" Squall waited for an answer, but he didn't get one. Quistis became very invested in her knitting, sliding the needles a little jerkier than normal. He knew that this conversation was over, at least until they got thrown out of Seifer's room, and could talk more freely in their own rooms about the blueprints. So, he concentrated again on listening to and feeling Seifer's breathing. His eyes followed Quistis's fingers, trying to figure out just how she was knitting. It lulled him into a light sleep, occasionally broken up by various noises from the machines in the room.

In his light fits of sleep, Squall daydreamed. And, they were pleasant dreams. Even though Seifer was still comatose and far from being okay, he allowed himself to daydream about future things. They weren't necessarily sexual thoughts, but highly romantic ones. Going out to dinner together and not having to hide that they were indeed together. Staring across the table with their feet brushing one another. Subtly reaching across the table as they ate, fingers mingling over the silverware. Maybe it wouldn't be at a restaurant. Maybe it would just be at home. A meal one of them had cooked. In a place that they shared. That was theirs. Maybe they would be married. Maybe they wouldn't be. But, they would be together.

Squall jerked and gasped in surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulder from behind. He sat up from his hunched position, expecting it to be the head nurse, ready to throw him out. But, instead it was Laguna, grinning down at him. Squall felt his cheeks flush. It's not like Laguna could see what he'd been dreaming, and it had all been completely innocent, but he still kind of felt like he'd gotten caught with his hand in his pants.

"You don't have to be embarrassed about having a... err, nice dream."

"Oh God!" Squall choked out, turning his face away from his father in complete mortification. Quistis's giggling didn't help.

"Everyone has them. Sometimes when I think about your mother..."

"Please. Don't," Squall pleaded tightly.

Laguna chuckled. "Visiting hours are over," he said after the smile wilted a little. "I figured you'd want to hear it from me instead of the head nurse."

Both Squall and Quistis sighed and rose to their feet. They each kissed Seifer, Squall lingering a little longer. When Laguna had turned away, Quistis deftly folded the rolled blueprints and stuffed them into her knitting bag. She pressed her fingers to her lips, then pressed them to Seifer's mouth before following after Laguna and Squall. Jurgen was right beside her, like her shadow once more. Squall's comments about Jurgen's desire for her came to the forefront of her mind.

Squall stopped and looked in the window to Seifer's room, just wanting one last glimpse of him before leaving for the night.

"He'll be okay," Laguna assured, getting Squall in a quick one-armed hug before his son pulled away.

"Does it bother you?" Squall finally blurted out as they slowly walked towards the telepod lobby. Quistis and Jurgen had made their way on ahead. It was a question that Squall had thought about since coming to Esthar. In the Centra mountains, it didn't matter if Laguna was disapproving of Seifer. Well, it's not like it would have stopped Squall, but it was still something he wondered.

"Does what bother me?" Laguna asked. He cast Squall a sidelong look, his expression careful and shrewd and very un-Laguna like. "The fact that you're dating a man who was once Ultimecia's Knight, or the fact that he's a man?"

Squall just shrugged, arms crossed in a protective and defensive posture.

"I don't care if you're with a man, Squall. You know I don't care. Hyne, my best friend is married to a man."

"It's different when it's your son."

"Pfft. You sound just like Kiros. And, Seifer made some bad choices, but he learned from them. The learned man never makes bad mistakes... no, wait. How does that go? Never mind." Laguna reached out and cupped the sides of Squall's face, forcing eye contact between them. They rarely looked in each other's eyes because of Squall's aversion with meaningful eye contact. His eyes were so much like his mother's. "I just want you to be happy. Are you?"

"Yes." Squall didn't wince away from the pressure of Laguna's fingers on his tender, magically-healed jaw.

"Then, that's all that matters." Laguna dropped his arms at his sides. "I don't want you doing things because you think someone else wants you to."

Squall pursed his lips. "I... I never did get to... properly apologize for saying that stuff... about... Rinoa and... her mother..." Squall mumbled, his eyes dropping to his shoes. His voice partly got lost in his chest.

"Yeah, you apologized. Over the phone."

"That's not properly." He looked up and made eye contact again, even though he found it both physically and psychically painful. "I meant it, you know? I was drunk, but... I meant it. Not about you, though. I meant it about me. I was trying to push Rinoa on me. I was trying to live up to all these expectations that I thought everyone had of me. And, instead I just hurt everybody that I was trying not to hurt, and I acted like I was ashamed of him, and"

"Stop," was Laguna's insistent whisper. "I don't need your apology, Squall. And, you don't need to apologize to yourself. You fucked up. People do it all the time. Especially me." He grinned wryly. "It's probably where you got it from."

Squall didn't smile back, but there was a softness in his eyes that was usually only reserved for Seifer, Quistis or Ellone. It meant the world to Laguna, that quick, small look that Squall probably wasn't even aware that he was giving.

"Get some sleep."

Squall gave one last look of longing and then nodded in defeat, shuffling after Quistis.

---

Luchia stood with her back as straight as an arrow, not checking her watch even though the desire was pretty high. She was watching Xu sit in her chair, slightly swivelling it left and right. Just enough to seem paranoid, not enough to seem crazy. She had her hand lightly pressed over her mouth, and her black eyes glittered feverishly. Full of thought and possession.

"Do you think it's wise to keep junctioning Eden, even outside a battle situation?"

"I don't care what you think," Xu muttered. She looked down at the ground, tracing the pattern on her Trabian throw rug with the toe of her boot.

"What about Astor?" Luchia asked, ignoring Xu's barb.

"He's dead," Xu answered matter-of-factly. "There's not much else to discuss. The only thing he can do now is be of good use. Call a meeting."

"For what?" Luchia asked, manicured eyebrow popping up to show her mild disapproval.

"Maybe it's time that Esthar knew what kind of monster Laguna Loire's son actually is."

"You think that wise?" Now, it was near impossible to keep the dismay out of her voice. "Everyone believes Seifer to be dead. People are going to ask why Squall killed Astor like that."

"Since when does your opinion matter when it comes to Mariposa?" Xu snapped. "There's no evidence that Seifer was there." Though Seifer was a wanted criminal, his torture wouldn't go over smoothly, and would bring up a lot of questions that Xu couldn't answer without revealing her hand. Particularly why she'd lied about his death. "Squall went there because Astor had found his location. And, Irvine had been working with them all along."

"It'll take some time to create some false documents and to fudge the security footage. How long..."

"Just do it," hissed Xu, looking down at the rug again. Her toe was almost lovingly caressing the stitched swirls and whorls.

Luchia only nodded and went out of the office. Garden was falling into hell in a hand basket, and she knew that announcing what happened to Astor wasn't a good idea. It seemed like it might be initially, but on second thought... And, normally Xu would have known that. If she were still in her right mind, that is. Luchia found her hand slipping into her pocket, touching the paper in there. The strange letter she'd received while cleaning up Astor's remains was still unopened. She wasn't sure why she hadn't opened it yet, and conversely why she hadn't thrown it away. She didn't want to admit it was fear, but then again... Luchia was one of the few people who really could say it wasn't because of fear. She was afraid of very few things, probably because she cared about so few things.

As Luchia walked slowly back to her office, nails tracing the lines of the wax seal on the envelope back safely in her pocket, Xu was still in her office. Still staring at the carpet and drawing patterns on it with her toe. She slowly got up and closed the door. Luchia was wrong. If Squall was shown to be capable of butchering someone like he'd butchered Astor, then anyone who still doubted that he'd helped kill Cid wouldn't doubt it anymore. When the lock clicked into place, she sighed and leaned against the door. She was so close. So fucking close to finally getting what she wanted. Garden was running more efficiently than ever. The junior cadets were getting record-high test scores, and they were turning the largest profit in years. Why couldn't Cid have seen this potential success? If he hadn't been so hell-bent on having Squall or Quistis take over, then he wouldn't have had to die. He could have seen it with his own eyes.

She walked over to her desk and gently rolled her chair away from the computer, kneeling down on the floor. "And, now I have you, too." She stroked over the carpet, wispy black tendrils of black magic pouring from between her fingertips like a webbing. It danced along the pattern on the ornate rug until it magically opened up the floor. Underneath Xu's desk was a small room. It was big enough to have a Spartan, tiny bed and a battered table. It was decorated with candles knick-knacks, and a brightly patterned quilt to try and make it look more cozy. But, the effect was disturbing. "I finally got you from her," Xu said lovingly, looking down into the makeshift prison at Nida. The warm, flickering candlelight cast stark shadows on Nida's sweaty face. His body was held motionless by Eden's magic, and it made his veins look black and prominent under his skin. His eyes were glassy and faraway, locked in some endless purgatory.

Xu slowly climbed down a rickety ladder made of planks and rope, and laid herself out on the bed beside her prize. Eden's magic coiled around them like a blanket. "I know that it's evil," Xu whispered as she rest her cheek on Nida's chest. He felt very warm. "Eden, I mean." Her fingers blindly reached up in the romantic candlelight (at least to her), and found Nida's sweaty hair. "I wouldn't have wanted it like this, but nobody would ever notice me while she was around!" She kissed his chest through his shirt. "I did the right thing. Squall's a fucking drunk and Quistis is too indecisive. They both fraternize with a war criminal, for Hyne's sake!" She urged. She wasn't trying to justify her actions. She really believed what she was doing was right. Radical, but necessary to remove a cancer from Garden.

Eden's power moved through Nida and warped his sense of reality. He could feel Xu rubbing against him. She was touching him lovingly and whispering in his ear. Her hand swept down his body, and he thought of Quistis. Eden's powers invoked the smell of Quistis's hair, and how her eyes always looked so thoughtful and bright behind her glasses. He loved her glasses. Eden made his body believe it was Quistis he was touching. He wanted it so much... But, Eden left just enough of Nida's mind conscious that he was aware of his hands touching Xu's skin and gently removing her clothes, but he couldn't do anything about it. It was closer to torture that way. But, it's not like Xu cared. As long as she had Nida and Garden, the means to those goals were irrelevant.

---

Laguna dozed in the chair beside Seifer's bed. For the past week, he'd been going in after visiting hours and keeping Seifer company. He'd started doing it because Squall was trying to sneak in, and Laguna wanted his son to get some actual sleep. He was injured and had been travelling in the mountains for a month. He needed the rest. It was also a place that Laguna could go to be alone and bask in the quiet. Though the head nurse was loathed to let anyone in past visiting hours, being the leader of the country allowed him some luxuries that nobody else could have.

The chair wasn't very comfortable, but napping in strange places wasn't exactly foreign to Laguna. He was sure Kiros and Ward had a tally somewhere of all the cars, closets, telepods and various other cramped spaces that he'd fallen asleep in. Normally he dreamed about past things. The army, travelling and writing, his true passion. He still even wrote articles under a pen name, though Kiros teased and said that he wasn't fooling anybody with the nom de plume - his grammar was so bad that everyone knew it was him anyway. If Kiros ever stopped teasing Laguna like that, he would know that something was horribly wrong. He dreamed a lot of Raine. His love for her was still so strong and it never wavered. But, tonight his dreams were far less pleasant. He thought of the other woman who'd shaped so much of his life - Adel. Or, what was left of a woman. She'd so bastardized herself through magical experiments that she couldn't even really be called a woman, or even human, in the end.

He hadn't thought about Adel in a while, but the memories were still so fresh. It must have been that they found out Seifer was the only surviving Dragoon, and the child of their most famous member. Taking Dinara Von Munster and destroying her village and people had been one of Adel's last acts of atrocity. Laguna had come to Esthar after Ellone not long after that. Azabaashe vanished, and Adel fell. Laguna would think of her pitiless red eyes and stir out of his troubled sleep. He woke up again, thinking it was a nightmare that roused him. But, before Laguna could drift away again, there was a series of quick beeps from one of Seifer's machines.

Laguna slowly blinked a few times, and then shot up out of his chair. Seifer's heart monitor started beeping rapidly. The line was like a sharp, jagged mountain range. Laguna reached across the bed for the console where he pressed the button for the nurse's station. "Aw, shit. You cannot die on me, man. Squall needs you." He put his hand over Seifer's, flipping his hair over his shoulder as he looked back. "Where is that damn nurse?" He complained under his breath.

The monitor beeped a few times, and Seifer's heart rate seemed to slow down. The jagged line became a little smoother and sporadic. Then, a few more rapid beats. Laguna yelped when he felt a twitch under his hand. Seifer's hand jerked under his own, the heart monitor starting to slide back to a regular rhythm. Muscles in Seifer's throat worked, and then stilled.

"Oh God. Oh my God."

"What's happening?" A nurse demanded as she flew into the room as quietly and efficiently as she could.

"Uhhh, I think he's waking up."

"What?" The nurse went over and examined his vitals on the machine. She then punched a button on the console.

"His heart rate started to speed up, and then it slowed down and sped up again and his neck muscles and hand moved," Laguna explained in a huge rush of words. "I think he was dreaming."

The nurse nodded distractedly, already ignoring Laguna as he continued to blather away. She checked the vitals on the machines, then quickly pinched the thin skin on the back of Seifer's hand just below where the IV tubes were injected into it. The fingers flinched at the discomfort, which caused the nurse's eyebrows to raise.

"Is he awake?" Laguna breathed out, completely unaware that the nurse had been ignoring him.

She moved to push Laguna out of the room. "You're going to have to leave, Sir. We need to get to work."

"But, I..."

"Now, Sir." She glared at him in a way that gave no room for argument. Laguna saw another nurse scurrying towards him, followed by a doctor. He'd probably assess Seifer's condition until Tiernan could be contacted.

"Okay, okay!" He exclaimed when she shoved his chest hard and he sprawled further out into the hallway. "Sheesh, woman!" He ran shaking hands through his long, thick hair. He stood for a few minutes staring into Seifer's room. The patient was completely obscured by the medical team leaning over him. "Hyne, what am I doing?!" He chided himself. He had to find Squall. He knew that Squall would never forgive himself if he wasn't there when Seifer woke up. And, he'd probably never forgive Laguna for not getting him right away, either.

The telepod ride was slow and hellish, and Laguna willed away any negative thoughts. No, Seifer would be fine. There was no need to think that this could just be the last fight before he finally gave up. When he arrived at Squall's door, which was being guarded by Jurgen's night time backup, he slammed his palm against it after trying the knob and finding it locked. He waited only a couple of seconds before he banged on the door again. After the fourth round of knocking, the door flew open and Squall was standing there, looking tired and angry. He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand, hair all sleep-tousled. He actually looked his age. After all that Squall had been through in his most recent life, he looked and seemed fifteen years older. Now, he actually looked nineteen. He was still wearing his clothes from the day before, which were now rumpled.

"Dad...?" Squall asked in sleepy confusion. "Whaaaaaaa?" His word petered off into a large yawn.

"Seifer's waking up."

Squall blinked a few times, not thinking he heard what he'd heard. It seemed like a dream.

"Yes! Come on!" Laguna urged. "Get Quisty, bud."

Squall blinked again, running a hand through his mussed hair. Then, his brain clicked in and he bolted into the room, shaking Quistis roughly. She looked up at Squall in confusion as he explained things to her quietly. Laguna noted that she was also wearing her clothing, as if they'd fallen asleep in the middle of something. Papers strewn on the bed were covered up when Quistis flung the duvet off herself.

"Please tell me you're serious," Squall said sternly once he, Quistis and Laguna were boarding a telepod back to the hospital. If this was Laguna ringing a false alarm...

"Totally a hundred percent. I think."

"You think?" Quistis asked, covering her mouth as she yawned, though her eyes were bright and alert behind her glasses.

"Well, he was starting to wake up, and then the nurse threw me out and I came to get you. Maybe he went back into a coma. I dunno. His heart monitor started racing. I think he was having a nightmare."

"Maybe he thinks he's still..." Quistis bit her lip, not able to finish that sentence.

Squall didn't want to comment. Right now, putting this into words seemed like a jinx. When they arrived back at Seifer's room, there was still a flurry of activity within. Now, Tiernan had joined the crowd of nurses. His mouth was moving quickly, but they couldn't make out what he was saying from out in the hallway.

"Wait. You were in there at night?" Squall asked, scarred brow coming together angrily. "But you said..."

"You need your rest. You have broken ribs and a broken jaw, for Hyne's sake. Seifer would agree with me, I bet."

Squall just huffed his breath out and looked away, muttering a "...Whatever" under his breath.

It was a painful wait until Tiernan slowly came out into the hallway to face them, slinging his stethoscope around his neck. He was wearing his white doctor's coat over silk pyjamas. He was also smiling, which made Squall's heart flutter in anticipation.

"He's sleeping. And, no..." Tiernan said over top of Squall beginning to ask if he could go in. "Not tonight. He wouldn't even know you were there. I gave him a sedative. Coming out of the coma would have been a large strain on his body, so I want him to wake up slowly."

"But..."

"And, you're injured."

"That's totally what I said," Laguna interjected.

"I want to stay."

"No," Tiernan said firmly. "You need your rest. Look at you. You're still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Magic may be able to heal that hairline fracture in your jaw, but your broken ribs aren't going to heal if you don't let them." Tiernan stared at Squall in irritation. He could see that his words were having zero impact. "You're just like your father. There's a reason I'm not his personal doctor anymore. It's shit like this."

"Hey, come on. I'm not that bad. A few behemoth pox scares... All right, bouts of hypochondria," the President amended when Tiernan gave him a withering look. "And, you totally paint me out to be a bad guy!"

"Look, Squall. Just... promise me you'll rest for the rest of the night and tomorrow, and I'll let you come in for the evening, even past visiting hours after I give you a check-up. He won't wake up before then, anyway."

Squall was so stubborn that he didn't even want to accept that at first, but then finally agreed with a short, terse nod.

"Is he going to be okay?" Quistis asked, always the voice of reason. "Or, is it too soon to tell?"

"He only woke up briefly, and not long enough to speak. Honestly, I was hoping he'd stay comatose for longer, because he'll be in tremendous pain. But, I imagine it's a war to see which of you are the more stubborn in the relationship," Tiernan said, eyes sliding over to Squall. "We'll study his vitals for the next twenty-four hours. It's still far too soon to tell about his leg, or to have heard anything about cornea donation. Do you want sedatives to help you sleep? Has there been any abdominal pain?" He asked of her.

"Oh, no... it's fine. Besides, if I so much as winced, I'm sure Jurgen would report it to you. But, maybe just a light sleeping draught? I doubt I'd be able to slow my mind right now."

"I don't want any," Squall said churlishly.

"Too bad." Tiernan gestured for a nurse to bring over a couple of syringes. "These are slow-acting. You should have plenty of time to get back to your rooms before they take full effect." He held up the syringe and stared hard at Squall, as if daring him to refuse.

"...Whatever," he muttered under his breath, thrusting his arm out with as much attitude as humanly possible. He looked to Quistis, and she nodded encouragingly. They needed their rest. Not just because of doctor's orders, but if they wanted to move against Garden, they would have to be healthy. It was only going to be the two of them, and it was not going to be a suicide mission.

"Okay, sleepy-time!" Laguna exclaimed, pushing hard against Squall's back, steering him back to the telepod. "Seifer will be there when you wake up."

"You don't have to patronize me," Squall muttered. His voice was soft and of a slightly higher pitch. The drugs were already starting to take effect.

"Well, you are acting like a big baby."

"Like father, like son," was Squall's tired retort.

"Hey, now!" Laguna gently chided, pretending to be angry. But, how could he be angry whenever Squall actually acknowledged that he was Laguna's son? Though he didn't have to, he rode the telepod back to the residential section of the Palace. He knew that Quistis could more than bully Squall back to their rooms, but he just wanted to be with his son.

Squall was distantly aware of all of this. It was getting harder for him to concentrate as the drug moved through more of his body. When they arrived back at their rooms, and Seifer waking up seemed like a distant dream, Squall did something that was very unlike him. Maybe it was the drugs giving him bravery, or just that he really needed Laguna right now, but either or both of them gave Squall the courage to step forward and wrap his arms around Laguna. He gave his father the kind of hug he'd wanted to when he was a child. Before he knew he'd had a father, when he'd thought he'd wanted a father that was everything Laguna wasn't. But, Laguna was everything he'd ever imagined, deep down. A father who loved him. No matter what.

Laguna blinked in surprise for only a moment before finishing the hug. He didn't nearly have the same aversion to it that Squall did. He knew that this moment was special. Laguna was more adept at reading body language than people gave him credit for, and he knew that Squall and Quistis had been so reclusive with everyone but each other since they'd come to Esthar. This hug was closeness that Squall wasn't giving anyone else besides her and Seifer. When they broke apart, Laguna just smiled and tried not to show tears. He was probably doing a really shitty job, because Squall gave him a long look that was wholly unfathomable because of the drugs invading him.

"Goodnight, Laguna." Quistis squeezed his arm and shuffled after Squall. Laguna watched the door close and revelled in the moment, his left thumb subconsciously reaching to touch his wedding ring.

---

Raijin rapped his large fist against Fujin's door. He didn't care how loud he was being, or that it was nearly dawn. In his other hand, he had his phone. He'd been texting Rinoa for the past hour, not sure where she was. Sometimes she stayed in the Palace, other times she went to Odine's labs to measure her magical output during sleep. Or, maybe she'd just turned her phone off. He found that he was concerned. He knew that she was fine and Esthar was perfectly safe, especially for a Sorceress, but worry still gnawed at him. Besides, he knew that she'd want to know that Seifer was starting to wake up.

"Goddammit, it's fucking dawn!" A male voice complained through the door before flinging it open. Raijin was not surprised to see Irvine there. His long hair was dishevelled, but his eyes were alert and the sweat on his bared skin alluded to activities other than sleep. He was covering his crotch with a sheet he'd dragged from the bed. "What do you want?" He snapped.

Raijin glared hatefully at Irvine and checked his shoulder into the door so it slammed against the wall. The force of it sent Irvine flinging backwards. Maybe Raijin should have been afraid of pissing off the leader of an assassin's cell, but he was just angry. Fujin was laying in bed, not bothering to cover her nudity. Besides, Irvine had the sheet.

"WHAT?" She demanded.

Raijin was so mad that he didn't care he was looking at her naked. Fujin slowly drew her knees up to her chest to hide herself. She'd never seen that kind of look in Raijin's eyes, not even when he'd almost hit her earlier.

"In case you give a fuck, which you've clearly expressed you haven't, Seifer's waking up."

"What?" Irvine breathed out. Fujin's expression did not change.

"You heard me," he said scathingly. "And, I don't want you to see him. Either of you."

Irvine's jubilant wonder faded under cold detachment. "Who gave you a say? We're his friends, too."

"Really? I've never made my friends become killers."

"Nobody twisted his arm," Irvine said darkly.

"Ultimecia did, and you just swooped right in and took her place."

"I think you should leave."

"Yeah, yeah. Just thought you should know." He glared down Irvine, his dark eyes daring the other man to do or say anything. It was as if he was silently saying "come on, kill me. That's what you do."

"Righteous bastard," Irvine muttered under his breath when the door had closed. It's not that he wasn't in the mood for sex anymore, but the moment was dulled around the edges. It wouldn't take long to get back, though.

"CORRECT."

"Oh, what?" Irvine asked with an irritated roll of his eyes, dropping the sheet on the floor. "One harsh word and you're having second thoughts?"

"NO," she corrected firmly. "But, he's right. We do kill. It's something that comes naturally to me, and to you. Seifer never followed Edea because he wanted to hurt anybody. Even when he was bullying people, his intention wasn't to hurt them. Not deep down, anyway. He just wanted to make them stronger."

"Yeah, I know. So... why are you telling me this?"

She shrugged. "Just pointing out that he's right. I don't often acknowledge it, so I felt like he deserved it."

---

Tiernan was a man of his word, and after a thorough physical examination where the doctor gave him some harsh words about the lack of progress in his ribs and nettling about starting to see a psychiatrist, Squall was allowed into Seifer's room past visiting hours, which had just ended an hour prior. Quistis sat on one side of the bed and he on the other. She knit nervously, and Squall just watched Seifer's face, his ribs aching from the physical. Every minute felt like an hour, and whenever one of them would look to their watch, they'd be shocked and horrified that only five or ten minutes had gone by.

Everyone assured Squall that Seifer hadn't woken up yet, but it was only a matter of time. There were already signs of it, and Squall's heart raced each time Seifer exhibited one of them. Sometimes his hand would twitch, or he would let out a hitched breath that sounded like either fear or pain. Sometimes he would swallow, and the cords of his throat muscles would work and constrict as his Adam's apple bobbed with the motion. Were his eyes moving under the gauze? Was he having a nightmare about Astor? Did he know that Squall and Quistis were there? Whenever Seifer would make those small noises of distress, Squall would touch his hand and stroke over the small patches of bare skin. He would lean over and whisper in Seifer's ear, and he would quiet. Squall liked to think it was because Seifer really was aware.

"You think he'll like this colour?" Quistis asked, holding up a large chunk of knitting. It was a deep grey that had barely-there flecking of green in it, only really visible when the rays of bluish light came in through the curtains. Squall hadn't even realized what she was knitting had been for Seifer.

"It won't matter. He won't be able to see it."

"Yes. He will," Quistis replied sharply. "He'll get corneas soon."

"But, what if the damage is deeper...?"

"Stop," she firmly commanded. "Be positive. Or, at least try to, okay?"

Squall glowered at her. It always pissed him off when she was utterly and maddeningly right. And, he was already a little miffed at her. She was nettling him about a plan to get into Garden and expose Xu, and was angry that he didn't show more drive about it. But, when they were around Seifer, they didn't talk about it. Their main focus was just being with him. He tried not to think of all the pain Seifer must have been in. He thought instead of how much he loved him, and how brave Seifer was for surviving all of this. The colour in the visible parts of Seifer's face was improving. The magical healing was taking full effect, and curing a lot of the superficial wounds. More bare skin was now visible even since yesterday, where they'd removed some of his lesser bandages. They were even allowed to wear their regular clothes now. Rinoa, however, still wasn't allowed in the room with him. His natural magic defences were still too weak. Raijin wanted desperately to stay in the room too, and was allowed, but he'd stayed outside with Rinoa. It spoke volumes of his growing affection for her, whether it was friendship or otherwise. Tiernan had also nixed the idea of Serino being the room with Seifer. He wasn't sure what a moogle's magical aura would do, or what sorts of parasites could live in their thick white fur. Serino had gotten hot and bothered at such an implication, but the miniscule threat hadn't stopped Quistis and Squall from smuggling their small friend in. He was sitting at the foot of Seifer's bed, examining a book of human medical diagrams with wonder. Humans were so frail that it amazed him. He was particularly horrified by the external genitals on males. Wasn't it dangerous? He shuddered, glad that his genitals were safely within his body.

Squall got lost in thought again, daydreaming about future things he and Seifer would do together, so when Seifer let out a loud gasp, Squall gasped in turn, scared by the sudden noise. Quistis's knitting dropped to the ground as Seifer's body slightly arched backwards and he panted as if he'd surfaced water.

"Seifer?" She whispered hopefully. Squall couldn't find his voice.

Seifer panted heavily, his throat feeling as parched as a desert. Everything was black, and he felt sluggish and cold. Pain that felt like fire coursed through him, even through the veil of strong painkillers. He could feel a hand touching him. Fear started to overtake him. Astor was coming to finish him off, and he didn't know if he could last much longer, no matter how much he wanted to. He let out a small whimper and breathed out, knowing that each second he took it, each second he survived, was another second that Squall was still alive. He could even smell him now. The way Memento cologne clung with the natural smell of Squall's skin, mingling with leather, had always stirred such passion in Squall. The memory of that scent would keep him going through any torture that Astor could inflict on him.

"Seifer?" Quistis whispered, tears blinding her.

"Kupo..." Serino chirped sadly. Seifer's aura gave off so much pain that it was amazing he could take it.

Squall pressed his forehead to Seifer's. He wanted to say Seifer's name so badly, but his voice was caught somewhere in his chest. He could barely even breathe. He firmly stroked his hand down the shoulder of the starchy white hospital gown, Seifer's skin shivering under his hand. Seifer tried to jerk away from the touch, but his body wouldn't obey any mental commands. The smell of Squall was so strong, it was like his lover was right there with him. The hand stroking his shoulder was so gentle and familiar, and touching him in a way that Astor never would have.

"Squall...?" Seifer breathed out urgently. The two syllables tore up his throat, and his eyes burned under the gauze covering them.

Squall took in his breath with a high-pitched gasp, swallowing back a sob. "I'm okay," Squall assured when he was finally able to speak. Even now, after everything, Seifer's first thought was wondering if Squall was safe. "I'm okay."

Seifer's panting grew shaky with relief.

"God, honey. You are infuriating and miraculous," Quistis murmured in his ear. She reached behind her and pressed the call button. As much as they wanted this moment with Seifer to themselves, Quistis knew that he really did need to be checked out by Tiernan, and it's not like Squall would ever do it himself. He didn't want to share Seifer with the rest of the world.

"You're safe," Squall whispered. Seifer'd gone momentarily still, and reawakened with a gasp. His muscles went stiff with fear because in that one second of unconsciousness, he'd forgotten where he was. "You're safe."

Quistis looked up when she heard the soft whisper of the door opening. "Tiernan..."

Squall looked away from Seifer reluctantly as Tiernan entered the room.

"I'm going to need to you wait outside," he requested quietly. "For just a few minutes," he added when Squall's expression became angry.

"We'll be right outside," Quistis assured. She leaned over and kissed Seifer's cheek. Serino chirped and petted Seifer's bared toes, poking out from the leg cast. Squall lingered for longer still. He felt Seifer's breath puff out against his lips. He let his mouth linger for a moment longer against Seifer's cheek. Outside the room, there was a whole group of people waiting. Rinoa had her arm around Raijin, both a show of support and a sign of her affection, obvious to anyone except for Raijin. Laguna and Ellone were there, as was Edea. Jurgen hung back in the shadows, his attentions for Quistis rather than the condition of a man he'd never met or spoken to. Two absent faces became glaring to Quistis as Squall slumped into his sister's arms - Fujin and Irvine were not there.

"Did he...?" Ellone began to ask. She had tears in her eyes and couldn't finish the sentence. Like Irvine, she'd never forgotten her time at Edea's orphanage like the others had, so probably remembered more of Seifer than even Squall or Quistis.

Squall just nodded and rested his forehead against Ellone's shoulder. He felt Quistis press against his side and the soft thickness of Serino's pleasantly scented fur against his cheek and neck.

"I'm Dr. Murphy-Seagill. I don't know if you remember, Mr. Almasy, but we met once before. Briefly, at Ellone's wedding." Tiernan greeted, putting his hand to Seifer's forehead.

Seifer made a noise of recognition, but it might have also been a grunt of pain. Tiernan started listening to Seifer's heart with a stethoscope. "Water..." He rasped out.

Tiernan then listened to Seifer's abdomen. Everything was quiet in there. "Only a few ice chips for now." He poured some thin ice slivers into a paper cup and pressed it against Seifer's mouth. Seifer tried to reach up to take it out of reflex, and hissed in pain.

"Try not to move too much," Tiernan urged gently. "Magic is healing the smaller injuries, but it will still take a long time for your back and leg to heal."

The ice chips soothed the parched fire of his throat, and he let out a long breath of horrible remembrance. Of course he hadn't forgotten what Astor did to him, but feeling the pain in his back when he'd tried to stretch his arm just made it clearer. It made the injuries something more than just the vague word 'torture'. "Blind?"

"Yes," answered Tiernan grimly. "You're on a list for cornea donation though, so it won't be permanent."

"Squall?" He asked. His heartbeat stayed neutral and calm.

"He's fine."

"Lying."

Tiernan made a noise of surprise. His voice had been completely neutral, so Seifer must have picked it up from Squall himself. "He is fine. He's got broken ribs and a healed hairline fracture in his jaw. From when he brought you here." Tiernan shook his head and laughed in disbelief. "You just woke up and you sensed that? My God, man. I am in awe of you. But, I guess I should expect nothing less from a child of La Draconia."

---

Just over a week had gone by since Seifer first woke up. Each day, he showed great improvement. His back and leg were still in quite serious condition and he was still in tremendous pain, but his immune system had come back completely, his facial lacerations were coming together evenly, and his broken fingers were healing nicely. He would soon be ready for secondary surgery on his leg, some bullet fragments left in his chest, and a testicular implant if he wished it. He slept a lot, and was surprisingly lucid. For the first few days he'd been pretty high on painkillers, but they'd either mixed with some other pill the doctors had him on, or he was just naturally allergic, because they'd made him quite ill and now he was off them until they cleared his system. Unfortunately, that meant no other painkillers during that time, so he was in constant pain. It was almost something that he was used to now.

Squall pretty much lived in Seifer's room now. Tiernan had given up on trying to get him to leave. Sometimes at night, he would slide his slender frame against Seifer's body and sleep beside him. Sometimes the nurse would get furious and make him get off, but sometimes she just didn't bother fighting it. Currently, Seifer was sleeping, and Squall was watching him raptly. The facial lacerations were starting to heal up and the bandage that covered that part of Seifer's face was smaller, but he'd probably still need a little plastic surgery on his nose and cheek.

Squall leaned forward and stroked his fingers across the lines of Seifer's neck and collarbone. Though it was a very serious time, Squall was smiling. Really smiling. It had been a long time since Quistis had seen him smile like that. Free of any outside pressures or concerns. Seifer was still very injured but he was out of danger. Squall was allowed to be relieved. He was allowed to feel only love.

Quistis quietly packed up her knitting. She knew that Squall didn't mind her staying. He didn't consider a lot of his 'private' time with Seifer to exclude her, and she knew that. But, she still wanted to give Squall time where it could only be the two of them. As she passed him, she put her hands on his shoulders from behind. His hands covered hers when she bent forward to kiss the top of his head. "Love you," she whispered in his ear.

"Me too," he whispered back.

Quistis stepped out into the hallway, finding Jurgen there. Watching her as he always did. His eyes were so grey they were almost robotic. She walked towards the telepod docks as if he weren't there. As usual.

"Why aren't you spending more time planning?" He asked out of nowhere. His Estharian accent sounded alluring on the word 'more'. A rolling of his tongue that alluded to more private things.

"Planning?" She asked carefully. She really didn't know what he was talking about, but still kept herself guarded.

"With those blueprints you stole?"

She stopped dead. It took a few moments for her to regain her composure. "Blueprints?" She asked.

"Lying doesn't become you, Ms. Trepe. What, you think that President Loire posted me to watching you because I was the first soldier he saw?"

She slowly turned around to face him, as if her motions were taking place underwater. She considered brushing off his comments with a derisive chuckle and a flip of her loose golden hair, but lost the desire when looking into his steel-coloured eyes. "If it were any other leader besides Laguna, I'd have to agree with you."

"You won't clear your name by hiding at a hospital beside for the rest of your life."

"Seifer needs us!" She exclaimed angrily.

"He'd want you to right this wrong."

Her voice dropped to a low, dangerous timbre. "You don't know him." Her anger was all protectiveness.

"No, I don't. I can only go by what people have said of him, and what I know of the Dragoon bloodlines. But, am I wrong?"

She hated him right then. Because he was right. And, he knew it.

"Why did you suddenly give up?" He asked quietly. "It can't just be that Mr. Almasy woke up. That should have given you even more incentive."

"I need more time."

"You're making excuses."

"Are you trying to find out information to tattle to Kiros or Laguna?" She asked, starting to get angry.

"They wouldn't want you going to Garden alone."

"Just leave it alone." She turned her back to get to the teleporters.

"Why?" He demanded, grabbing her arm.

"Let go!" She shouted. Her voice echoed in the quiet of the long term care's main transport lobby. The nurse at the reception desk looked up sharply from her paperwork, giving Quistis a disapproving glower.

"Why?" Jurgen demanded.

"Because I can't do it!" She answered loudly. The nurse looked up again. Her eyes blazed a warning to keep it down. Quistis's mouth hung open in surprise at her own words. "I can't..." She trailed off. "I'll never beat her," she replied. "I just can't..."

"You're very self-defeating."

She made an angry noise under her breath, but couldn't exactly argue. As she went over the blueprints, her confidence in her plans kept weakening until she was left with nothing but second-guesses and her disbelief in her own abilities. She once again became the instructor that Cid had to fire. She was the girl that only got guys when Xu was paying them. She was the girl who got rejected for Rinoa, even though she really didn't think of Squall like that anymore. She was the girl who got rejected for Xu. The girl who'd always been second-best. Especially in her own mind.

"I'll help you. If you wish it."

She frowned, trying to find the separate meaning in each of those seven words. "Why?"

"I was told to protect you and be your shadow. It wasn't specified where those duties were to take place."

Quistis looked at him for a long time. He stared right back, facial expression unchanging while hers was changing rapidly. Finally, she wound up with a chuckle of disbelief. "Why?"

"Because you're being wronged." Jurgen stepped before Quistis and reached past her to press the call button for one of the telepods. His arm brushed against her shoulder. It had been deliberate. "I know you're wary of accepting help, but it's here."

The telepod came with a mechanized swoosh. A pleasant recording announced the arrival. Quistis ignored it the first time. She felt words on the tip of her tongue. They were begging to be uttered and spilt. But, she just... she couldn't. She could only stand there stupidly with Jurgen's patient eyes drilling into her own. The telepod announcement repeated in the background, beeping insistently between recorded arrival messages.

"I..." Jurgen's interest in her seemed genuine. She wanted to believe it. "I..." Evan's interest had also seemed genuine. Nida's interest had seemed genuine. "I should get back to my room." The vulnerability and self-doubt that had leaked through to the surface were now gone. She was good now at burying things under a layer of stone and ice. Squall had taught her well.

"Of course." Jurgen's voice remained the same as always. They sat down on the telepod together, as if they hadn't had that conversation. It was like he'd never admitted he knew about Quistis's plan to break into Garden, or that they'd had a moment that could have very easily become romantic. She was sure that if she'd tried to kiss him, he would have kissed her back. She didn't even know anything about him! Just like Evan.

The trip was a silent one. Quistis didn't look over to the soldier, though she was certain he was looking at her. And intently, too. When the telepod stopped in the private residential area, she stood up and walked to her room with Jurgen falling in step beside her. "Good night," she said politely.

"Of course."

She unlocked her door and turned the knob, but stopped before stepping into her blackened room. "Hey, Jurgen?" She called down the hallway.

He stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Yes?"

"What's your favourite colour?" She asked. Why are you asking him such a stupid question?

He cocked his head, but his face didn't show any surprise. "Red. Why?"

She shrugged. "At least you didn't say blue, I guess. It shows at least a sliver of originality."

"I'm glad I could enlighten you. Good night, Ms. Trepe."

Quistis watched him go before she entered her room and closed the door behind her. As she removed her thin, hand knitted cardigan and kicked off her shoes, she continued to wonder why she'd asked him such a dumb question. What did it matter what colour he liked? Did she just want to see his reaction? It's not like it said anything about him as a person. The blonde sat on the bed and shook her head when she realized why. Knowing Jurgen's favourite colour was more than she'd ever known about Evan.

---

Luchia parked her Estharian utility vehicle in front of Tears Point. The wind was howling and it was bitterly cold. The truck was a rental and Luchia couldn't find how to get the temperamental heat to work, so she was bundled in three layers. She got out of the car and walked towards the center of the monument. The large statues looked down at her with blank and impassive eyes. It felt like they were really watching her. Luchia reached into one of her pockets to feel for the letter. After she'd left Xu's office, her desire to open the letter grew. What did it contain? So, late at night in her threadbare room void of any personal belongings, she'd finally broken the raven seal. Inside the envelope, the paper was thick and expensive. Within the envelope it smelled pleasantly of smoky incense. The letter had been written with a nib pen and a well of ink. You didn't see that much anymore.

Dear Miss Blackwell,

I hope you are well. I would like to meet with you to discuss some mutual interests, and the acquisition of something that rightfully belongs to me. I would have liked to have met you in person, but I am currently unable to travel. I see a kindred spirit in you and your outlook on duty. If you wish to meet with me, come to Tears Point any time you wish. If, after our meeting, you feel that you don't wish to go any further, I will have one of my men take you home.

Sincerely,

A Potential Comrade

Luchia didn't know if she quite believed the last part, about being allowed to leave if she didn't like what this person had to say. If she was driving all the way out to Tears Point for a meeting... well, it didn't bode well. If it were merely nefarious, they would have met in Deling City in some scummy diner - like Evan. Out here, though... The air still felt magically charged from the last Lunar Cry. When Adel fell back down to earth.

She was only standing before the ominous statues a few moments before someone came from somewhere, huddled in a bulky, dark parka. She narrowed her eyes from within her own fur-lined hood, studying this person carefully.

"Miss Blackwell, this way please." It was a male voice coming from within the coat, accented with Estharian. He gestured for her to walk with him, though he did not try to touch her. Politeness, or something more sinister?

Luchia squared her shoulders and followed the man. There was no sense in backing out now. She was already here, in the middle of nowhere without anyone knowing about it. She was led closer to the looming statues, but saw nothing except smooth stone. The man placed a gloved hand on a section of the statues. Nothing happened for a few moments, and then she felt the air change. She could see the magic working on the spot where her guide's hand was pressed to the stone. And, then a door appeared. It opened with a loud scraping of stone on stone that was dragged away by the howling winds.

"This way, please."

Luchia looked beyond the guide, and saw a black, black stairwell yawning ahead of them. It was cool and musty smelling and looked like it went a long, long way down. The man started them downward. Magic light appeared in his hands and silhouetted his parka. Luchia took in what she could see, but nothing told her of who she was descending to meet. Again, she thought it foolish to be afraid, so slowly followed the guide down, hoping this wouldn't be a fatal mistake.