Operation: Mariposa

by Scarlet Fever

Seifer/Squall slash! Rated M for Graphic language, violence, sexual content and drug/alcohol use. What do you do when your whole world turns against you? Been a while since I posted a fic on here! Work In Progress!

17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Quistis cracked her whip and it coiled around Xu's wrist as the other woman arced up with one of her sickles. Their eyes locked and didn't waver from each other as Quistis knocked her hip against Xu's wrist to make her fumble with her blade. Each moment that Quistis stared in Xu's eyes, her rage grew. Everything that Xu had stolen from her weighed down on her, crushing on top of her. She knew that she couldn't think about all that stuff because it would distract her, but it was near impossible not to. How could she not think of all those humiliating tabloid articles with her private areas barely blurred out? How could she not think of Xu making her a laughingstock in Garden, a place she'd given her entire life to? How could she not think of her fractured relationship with Rinoa, Selphie and Zell? How could she not think of Cid dead, and her and Squall on the run for it? How could she not think of Seifer and his broken body? How could she not think of Nida, turned against her? Nida, who'd filled Seifer's chest with bullets and handed him right to Astor on a silver platter.

Still, Quistis wondered, as she had to do a shoulder roll to avoid losing an arm to one of Xu's sickles, she had to question where Eden was. Why wasn't Xu using that hellish monstrosity? It would make the fight go a lot faster. Had something happened? Had Xu lost control of that thing? Quistis did a floor sweep and knocked Xu back. One of the sickles fell from her grip when she had to pinwheel her arms to prevent falling on her ass. Quistis ran towards it, trying to outrun Xu, and kicked it up to her hand. But, it left her vulnerable for just a second and that's all Xu needed to tackle the blonde from behind. Quistis was spun around and Xu's fist connected with her chin. She sprawled backwards into the door, and Xu rushed her. Their bodies slammed against the door and it popped open and spilled them out into the hallway.

Quistis looked up to see the edge of Xu's remaining blade bearing down at her. She jerked her head to the side and heard the blade slice through the air where her face had just been only a blink before. The blade sliced off an inch of Quistis's hair that had fallen out of her bun. The blade came down again, aiming straight for her face, and at the last second, Quistis kicked up and her boot hit Xu square in the back of the hand. It made Xu drop the weapon, and Quistis kicked it away as she vaulted herself to a standing position. The surprise at getting her hand kicked hard let Quistis catch Xu off-guard long enough to land a punch in the face.

Xu stumbled back, her hands holding her nose. Blood seeped out from between her fingers, and hatred boiled from her eyes. Quistis found that she was letting go of her whip. Its coils were falling at her feet like a dead snake. It felt right this way - she and Xu going hand-to-hand. "We'll fight like equals, with no weapons."

"Equals?" Xu spat out. Her voice was muffled from the bloody nose. "When have we ever been equals?" She grit her teeth and tackled Quistis against the nearest wall. Her teeth looked pink because of the blood. They wrestled for domination over each other, and Xu got the early upper hand when her shoulder slammed hard into Quistis's gut. The blonde felt fire through her belly where the stab wound had been from Xu's Esthar assassin.

"We were always equals!" Quistis hissed back, jerking her head to the side when the other woman tried to head butt her. "You're the one who created a fantasy world where I was trying to destroy you!"

"You stole everything I ever wanted. I told you all my dreams. I confided in you because you were my best friend and I loved you!" Xu found it hard to see through all the angry, hurt tears. She grabbed a fistful of Quistis's hair and yanked on it hard. "And, then you turned around and took everything I ever wanted!"

"I never wanted to be Headmaster!" Quistis tried to stomp on Xu's feet, but kept missing because she was dizzy from getting her head slammed into the wall. She saw a flash of red in her vision when it happened again. She grabbed the front of Xu's SeeD jacket and pulled forward as Xu put her weight forward to smash Quistis's skull into the wall again. The momentum caused Xu to fall forward with Quistis, who quickly thrust her head forward so their foreheads smashed together with an audible noise.

Both women stumbled away from each other, black spots and pinpricks of light flashing over their eyes. Quistis shook it off and started to lunge towards Xu again, but suddenly felt the air go out of her, and a burning around her neck. She tried to struggle against the new restraint, but then limbs tangled all around her and took her down to the ground in a flurry of incoherent grumbling and panting. Quistis started struggling stupidly and causing herself to lose air when she heard Xu laughing.

"You thought I would fight you fairly?" Xu asked, wiping blood from under her nose. "Hanging out with Squall and Seifer all that time must have dropped your IQ, dearie. I'll give you all the dope you want if you just kill her," she cooed lovingly, like she was promising a home cooked meal for doing a menial household chore.

Quistis choked for breath, her fingers clawing at her throat. She realized that she was being strangled with her own whip, and the limbs around her were like a bear trap. Thin, desperate and unyielding. The body, surely male because of the chest pressed against her back, smelled of unwashed hair and clothing, but there was something familiar. Quistis's heart raced and her breath failed her for reasons other than being choked with her own weapon. Nida She would have said his name, but her whip was pressing into her larynx. She could feel it burning her skin because of the tightness and the Malboro tentacles it was made of.

Her whole body felt frozen against the fact that Nida was really trying to kill her. She'd always held out this hope, no matter how small and stupid, that Nida was still on their side. That maybe he was working undercover to take Xu down from the inside. Maybe he'd been the one that sent the email that saved Seifer's life. Her breath was leaving her, and yet she still hesitated about fighting back against Nida.

But, something snapped her out of it. It was Xu, saying his name. The way she said it was like a slap in the face to Quistis. She said 'Nida' with such love, and he was still choking her. He wasn't showing her any affection. He wasn't showing that he still cared about her. Her body realized this before her mind, and she instinctively arched her back and slammed her elbows into Nida's sides. Their legs started scrambling and tangling together, and she hooked her left leg around his and used her heel to jerk his knee hard. She knew it hurt, and he made an animalistic yelp that caused the whip to loosen a little. She kept twisting his knee, each time she did it the whip getting a little looser. The black spots that were swimming in her vision and threatening to take her over completely started to recede.

Quistis then slammed her head against Nida's face, and the whip finally came loose. She rolled away from him and pulled her whip away. Her breath came out in a shocked shunt when she finally got a good look at Nida. He didn't even look like himself anymore. She'd never seen him with facial hair, let alone this wild and dirty beard. His hair was lank and greasy, and his eyes were glassy and desperate. She recognized that look. It was like she was looking at Squall back when he'd called her from Timber, at the bottom of the barrel.

She could see Xu in her peripheral vision, and she still knew the other woman well enough to know that she was going to make a run for it. She nodded at Nida, and he lunged for Quistis at the same moment as Xu turned and started running down the hall. "Coward!" Quistis screamed as she started to run after Xu, but Nida took out her legs and they both went sprawling on the floor. Quistis could see Xu's feet retreating, and she wrestled desperately against Nida. She couldn't let Xu get away! Not now, not when she was so close!

"Nida!" Quistis cried. "Wake up! Let me go! It's Quisty. Don't you remember?" She trailed off with a groan when one of his elbows smashed into her kidney. It felt like her stab wound opened up after that blow. "You need to... let me go..." She gasped for air when his hands closed around her throat again. His fingers were like ice against the burns from her own whip. Nida wasn't as strong as he normally would have been, but he was filled with drug-fuelled desperation.

She managed to scramble out of his grip and started running after Xu, but tripped a few times when Nida lunged after her on his belly, tripping her up as he scrambled at her ankles. There was no talking to Nida, not now. She couldn't convince him, and she knew that Xu was the real target. Xu was a few feet ahead of her, and gaining distance. Quistis started pumping her legs to catch up. She had the feeling that the other woman wasn't running away, but was running towards something. It left her with a very sick feeling.

Xu dipped into one of the boardrooms on either side of the hall, and Quistis ran in after her. Xu swung the heavy wood door, and it hit Quistis in the face, sprawling her back into the hallway. She shook out the cobwebs and dashed into the room. Her heart slammed in her chest when she saw Xu hunched over a computer terminal, typing madly. Quistis took three long strides across the room and knocked the monitor on the floor. Cords broke free of their moorings and the screen image sputtered and died.

"Too late," Xu hissed, blood still dribbling down her chin. The ends of her shaggy black hair were drenched in it. She smiled through the red, eyes glittering with malevolence and victory. "You know better than anyone that I always have several back-up plans. We're a lot alike in that way. I guess it's why we were always such good friends."

Quistis backhanded Xu across the face at the mere mention of a friendship that Xu'd pissed all over. "What did you do?" She demanded, grabbing fistfuls of Xu's coat and pulling them nose to nose.

Xu just grinned again, and kneed Quistis in the thigh. She started to spiral away from the other woman's grip, but Quistis punched her a couple of times, shouting "What did you do?" again.

"Just made sure that if I can't have Garden, nobody will have it. Especially not you."

"ANYTHING?" Fujin asked eagerly, leaning over Irvine to look at the computer monitor as he searched through file after file on Balamb Garden's server, trying to find anything that he could pin on Xu. She'd switched a lot of main controls around, so it was taking him precious moments they didn't have to find his way around, even to search for a way to kill the power or something.

"JAMMED," Fujin hissed, pointing at a file that linked up to Balamb's communications capabilities. Xu had blocked all satellite signals into the school, which meant that cell phones were out.

"Oh fuck..." He said under his breath. "Babe, that isn't all that's wrong." Irvine started opening windows, and then opened an external web browser window to do some cross-checking.

"Raine Leonhart?" Fujin echoed, reading as fast as her lone eye would let her as Irvine flew through the data. "Squall's mother?" She cocked her head, perplexed. "But, she's been dead for twenty years how could she...?"

"She didn't." Irvine started following the paper trail after a purchase that had been funnelled through several mediators and shell corporations, trying to find any kind of connection he could exploit. The purchase had been made under Raine Leonheart's name through a dummy company in Winhill. It was purchased under flower fertilizer, but Irvine recognized the company as one that was under the Galbadian army, and they definitely didn't sell manure and plant food. The whole thing led to a bank account in Deling City under a high level firewall.

"Shit," he cursed. He could feel sweat dribbling down the nape of his neck. He knew time was running out. The wristwatch on Fujin's wrist seemed to scream at him now.

Fujin stood up, unable to watch Irvine continue to try and hack the password to get into this account. It was killing her, all this waiting. "This is taking too fucking long."

"I know."

"I have a really bad feeling."

"I know." Irvine slammed his fist on the keyboard in frustration when another hacking attempt failed.

"You aren't going to get through. She'll fucking win. She'll get away with it."

Irvine was now constantly cursing, the swear words coming out louder and faster as the minutes ticked by. Suddenly, he let out a great whoop that almost made Fujin jump out of her skin, and made her instinctively go to the door to see if anyone had heard them. But, the walls around the computer bays in Galbadia Garden were thick and rather soundproof.

"You doubted me? Ha!" Irvine marvelled for a moment as windows popped up revealing the bank accounts activities. It had been the lynchpin, and Operation: Mariposa began to unravel at his fingertips. Buying off Evan Phaighn, the photographs that went to the tabloids, the contracts with Galbadian mercenaries, dated the day of Quistis and Squall's fake mission to catch JB Reigar. The sound files featuring Seifer's torture... it was all there. The self-satisfied smirk slipped from Irvine's face, and his periwinkle eyes filled with complete horror as he looked closer at the trail that had started it all. The purchase under the name Raine Leonhart. Not for fertilizer. Not at all.

"WHAT?" Fujin came over when she saw the look on Irvine's face. "WHAT?" She demanded again when he didn't answer. He seemed frozen. She looked at the purchase manifest. It had been disguised at the Winhill delivery yards as sheep manure, but following the shipment back to its origin in Deling City, it turned out to come from a military storehouse. "NO."

"We have to get in contact with them. We have to warn them."

"JAMMED," Neptune reminded Sol.

"FUCK!" He cursed, sounding eerily like her.

Fujin looked at the amount of sarin shipped to Winhill. "That's enough gas to kill most of the people in Garden." Her heart was now beating hard and painfully. "All the junior cadets would still be in the building, too."

Irvine put a hand to his mouth, brain working wildly. "And, the canisters would probably be near where they're taking shelter. Probably in the underground levels, near some kind of air duct so the sarin could move through the rest of the building." He immediately started pulling up schematics of the building, paying careful attention to air ducts.

"HERE?" She pointed at a possible place. "WARN?"

"We can't fucking call them, remember?" He snapped, losing his composure. "And, Xu wouldn't just release a little at a time. She'd blow those canisters open so people would die within minutes."

"JURGEN..." She trailed off, flipping open her phone. "He was supposed to be the distraction. He might still be outside the building."

"He's just one person," Irvine pointed out, starting to download all the information. He didn't want Xu to start wiping info. If she felt trapped, she'd clear the drives, and then release the deadly nerve gas. "The closest military facility to Balamb is in Timber... I don't know if they could fly in any atropine or pralidoxime in time."

"With that much gas, would any antidotes even matter?" Fujin asked as the phone rang. "COME ON!"

"Fujin?" Jurgen's voice asked after the twelfth ring. She could hear the sounds of battle in the background.

"NERVE GAS," she immediately shouted at him, making sure he heard loud and clear. "PROBABLY IN BASEMENT. SARIN."

"Fuck," he cursed. "Send the blueprint to my phone."

"DONE. CELL PHONE SIGNALS JAMMED INSIDE."

"All right." Jurgen's line went dead, and Fujin slowly folded her phone. "You think I should tell Seifer...?"

"Seifer..." Irvine repeated. "Esthar! I can call Rinoa and Matron. They can teleport instantly to Balamb. They can help get people out, and they'll listen to Sorceresses more than they'd listen to Jurgen." Irvine started touching the screen on his phone to find Rinoa's number in his contacts list.

"Xu probably put the shipment in Raine Leonheart's name so it would look bad on Squall or President Loire."

"I'd bet my balls that's exactly what she was planning, the bitch." Irvine waited as Rinoa's phone rang, but his attention was diverted when the computer terminal beeped. He leaned forward, and felt like he was going to puke.

"Did that just come from Balamb?" Fujin asked, even though she already knew the answer. But, she was really, really hoping that the horrible feeling in her stomach was wrong.

"Yes, my dear." Their eyes were glued to the countdown that had just been started on a Balamb Garden terminal, starting at fifteen minutes and rapidly counting down.

"What is the name of Ultros the octopus's sidekick?" Raijin asked, reading a question from the card he was holding. He was playing a children's trivia game with some of the orphanage kids, though his heart wasn't in it. He'd finally thought it was time to call Tia in Dollet. It had been long enough, and she hadn't exactly been glad to hear from him. He couldn't blame her for being furious about the lack of communication. He didn't hold it against her, and it just made him feel like shit that he'd shut his girlfriend out like that.

It made him feel even worse because it wasn't Tia that he'd dreamed about the night before. Even as he'd been telling her how much he cared about her and was sorry that he didn't call, he'd thought of his dream. Of Rinoa. He'd woken up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat with a rock-hard erection, the image of her still burned in his mind even during the daylight hours. She'd been riding him, beautiful and naked, her skin illuminated with magic. Her translucent Sorceress wings spread from her back as she arched and gasped with pleasure

"Raijin...?"

"Huh?" He snapped out of his guilty daydream and looked at the six expectant faces with their large eyes. "Oh, sorry guys!"

"It's Mr. Chupon!" One boy exclaimed very loudly and quickly.

"But, I said it first!" Another kid wailed. "You stolded my answer! I'm telling Matron!"

"Awww, come on guys!" Raijin exclaimed as they started shoving each other. "It's only a game. You don't need to get mad, ya know?"

The boys glowered at each other, but sat back down. All of Edea's children loved Raijin, and would listen to whatever he said. He looked beyond the boys and thought that he was in his dream again. There was Rinoa, walking towards him and looking pretty like usual. She was wearing a loose white blouse and skirt that looked rather angelic, and still sexy with some carefully placed see-through cut-outs on the shirt. Her hair was tied back and she had a white orchid behind her ear.

"Sowcewess Winoa!" One of the girls exclaimed in awe, clasping her hands and looking up at Rinoa like she was a princess.

"Hi, girls! Is it okay if I play, too?"

"Pweeeeaaasseee, Waijin?" A girl pleaded, giving a winning smile with one missing front tooth.

"Of course, ya know?" He patted the floor beside him, hoping that he wasn't blushing. "Sit down, Winoa."

She grinned, doing enough blushing for both of them. "I just was going kinda stir-crazy."

"It'll be cool," Raijin said quietly. He didn't want the kids to know anything might be wrong. The kids got all rowdy for a few moments, some of them arguing that they should try to start playing a new game now that Rinoa was here. With the distraction, Rinoa leaned into Raijin and said very quietly "Seifer's gone. He teleported to Balamb."

Raijin didn't let his worry and anger show. Actually, he wasn't surprise. He'd expected Seifer to do something foolish and noble like that, but he could still be furious about his best friend's recklessness.

"It must be going badly..."

"Don't worry." He squeezed her shoulder, and briefly felt sweat covering his entire body again, like when he'd woken up after that dream. She smelled like sugar and lemons today, not like sweat and sex as he'd dreamed. "They're all tough, ya know?"

The kids were sort of settled down again, looking at Raijin and Rinoa expectantly. "Okay!" She exclaimed. "Why don't me and Raijin read the questions to you guys?" She picked up a card. "Pick a colour!"

"BLUE!" The team of two girls exclaimed, then started giggling because they said it at the same time. "Jinx!" One shouted just before the other.

"Hmmm... blue, huh? What are the colours in a rainbow?"

"BLUE!" They said again, laughing some more. "Red... yellow... green..." Their answer petered off until it just became a contest between all the kids to see if they could say the same colours at the same time. Raijin and Rinoa watched them, happy for the pleasant distraction. Unconsciously, her hand slid across the brightly coloured rug and found Raijin's much larger one. She put her hand on top of his and gave it a squeeze. It had been a long time since she'd held a man's hand. Squall wasn't much for that, at least not with her. She wouldn't be surprised if he was okay with Seifer doing it. Raijin's hand was warm under hers and felt so strong.

Raijin watched the children and felt the pleasant warmth of Rinoa's hand over his own. It felt so nice. He flipped his hand and squeezed hers, not even thinking about it. Slowly, it started to dawn on him what he was doing, and his head slowly turned to Rinoa. She was smiling distantly and focusing on the children, but she felt Raijin's gaze on the side of her face, and then it also hit her that they'd been holding hands like it was something that they did all the time and was natural. Like he didn't have a girlfriend in Dollet.

"Sorry..." She mumbled, pulling her hand away and looking down in her lap. Her cheeks were on fire, and her hands shook. He didn't say anything, and the amount of time he was staying silent was getting longer. She could still feel him looking at her, and couldn't help but look back up to meet his eyes. He was staring at her intently, and it was in a way that said he wasn't sorry about it at all. She'd been harbouring a little crush on Raijin, but hadn't wanted to entertain the thought that he might be feeling those same sort of things, too.

The moment was broken when Rinoa's phone started to ring incessantly from her purse. At first she didn't even realize it was her phone, since she'd just recently changed the ringtone from Eyes On Me to Grey Skies, a lesser known song of her mother's. Eyes On Me just had too many bad memories of Squall for her right now. "I guess phones really do ruin potentially romantic moments outside soap operas." She dug around in her purse, kind of grinning at her own boldness. When she finally found her phone, the grin hardened around the edges when she saw it was Irvine.

Raijin stared at Rinoa's face, whole body still heated with the potential in that small touch, and that spark of desire grew cold as he watched her. She only said "Hello?" and then listened to Irvine say whatever he was saying. Her face was getting paler and paler, all blush gone, and her eyes looked horrified. Her lips parted, and she stared back at Raijin with tears forming in her brown eyes.

"Uh huh..." She finally said. "I'll be right there. You're calling Matron? Okay..." She pressed the cancel button and stared at Raijin again, a tear falling down her cheek.

"What...?" He breathed out, his mind jumping to the worst. Seifer was dead. Quistis or Squall were dead. It's not like he and Squall were best buddies, but he didn't want him to die, and he meant so much to Seifer.

"We have to go to Garden."

"We?"

Rinoa stood and rushed over to one of Edea's nannies, who was darning some socks in the corner, sitting beside a couple of the older kids, who were watching TV. "We have to go. Watch the rest of the kids, okay?"

"Okay..." She could see the dismay on Rinoa's face, and smartly didn't ask about it.

"Come on." She grabbed Raijin's wrist and started dragging him out of the room. The kids made disappointed noises, and he waved as he was pulled out by this unstoppable force in the form of a small woman.

"Okay, what's going on, ya know?" He put his hands firmly on her shoulders and searched her face, hoping that the answer would be written there. All he could see was fear.

"We have to go to Garden. Now!" She lowered her voice to just above a whisper. "It was Irvine. There's a timer to a bunch of canisters of sarin gas somewhere in the underground sections."

Raijin's reddish complexion went white. "Sarin...? Oh, Hyne." His eyes closed. "How long?"

"Fifteen minutes," she answered as she was already charging up her magic for teleportation. "Irvine's going to call Matron and give her more info. She'll tell Laguna, and then teleport after us."

"Let's go." He put an arm around her shoulders, knowing that magic worked better with physical contact. He could see Rinoa's brow knitted in concentration, and the beads of sweat appearing on her temples. He could feel something like insect bites all over his skin, then entering him. The little itchy pinpricks turned into a big ball of warmth that was getting hotter and hotter, and then his surroundings disappeared in a smear of light.

Seifer was now panting heavily as Bahamut still maintained both a physical and magical wall between the rest of Garden and their little hallway. Keeping the connection with Bahamut, and Bahamut's strength up, was getting harder. Especially after teleporting so far. But, he couldn't let the dragon falter. He couldn't let anyone in here because he and Squall weren't in any shape to fend off an attack. He could feel his pain dulling around the edges because of Serino's magic, but even that was starting to lose its effectiveness. In all the blind whiteness, he was seeing intermitted smears of red. He was sure that was a bad sign. Squall was stroking his arms and not saying anything. It was all that he could really do.

Squall stood up when he felt the air change, and he pulled out his gunblade as magic crackled in the hallway like lightning. He pulled out Lionheart and raised it as high as he could, pain like fire across his torso. He didn't feel any relief when the magic turned out to be Rinoa teleporting in, Raijin in tow.

"Sweet Hyne!" Rinoa exclaimed, looking at Squall in horror. "What happened to you?"

"Seifer!" Raijin crouched beside his friend. "You are so insane, ya know? I should punch your lights out."

"Raijin...?"

"There's trouble!" Rinoa exclaimed, looking past Squall to Zell, who was still frozen behind Serino's barrier. But, he'd made no movement to leave. He was standing there, frozen and locked in his own mind, replaying the events of the past months. Replaying every conversation he'd had with Xu, every moment causing bile to rise in him. "There's a bunch of sarin gas set to go off in about fifteen minutes."

"Sarin?" Seifer exclaimed, hands clawing at the wall to pull himself up. He hissed in pain when weight came down on his leg. "How do you know?"

"Irvine. Cell phone calls are being jammed. He called Jurgen who's already moving into the basement to find it. We need to get everyone out. He's trying to stop the timer, but I don't know if he can. He also told Matron, and she's coming after she tells Laguna."

"Shit," Seifer cursed. "Okay, I can use Bahamut to get some people out. If it's in the basement, that means that it will be near the junior cadets. Come on."

"Whoa!" Squall exclaimed, body reacting violently to the big breath he had to take to talk that loudly. "You're not going anywhere." His broken jaw muffled his words.

"I have to help."

"You're blind and a cripple!" Squall shot back furiously. It came out very cruelly, and Squall knew it. But, he'd say anything to keep Seifer from putting himself at even greater risk.

Seifer's face became very closed and angry. "I'm not just going to do nothing."

"You've done enough!" Raijin exclaimed, in complete agreement with Squall. A rare occurrence. "I'll go down to the basement and find Jurgen. I'll help get the kids out."

"Me too," Rinoa chimed. "I can teleport and do it fast. I can also try to find Quistis."

"I'll help, too..." Zell offered, his voice tiny.

Squall looked over his shoulder and sneered at his former friend, showing in one look the contempt he felt for Zell's offer of help. Seifer's face was blank, and he looked in the direction of Zell's voice. Zell actually would have preferred an angry, taunting Seifer. The Seifer that always acted like a raging asshole to him. Not this cold blankness with horribly blind eyes.

"Come on, then!" Raijin waved his arm for Zell to follow.

"I'll let the SeeD know. They'll listen to me." Rinoa teleported away, leaving behind translucent white feathers that disappeared when they touched solid surfaces.

"I..." Zell began to say when he passed Seifer. But, any sort of apology felt hollow and weak when he looked up into Seifer's blind eyes and statuesque expression. He said no more, and shuffled after Raijin.

"Come on," Squall muttered through a closed mouth, feeling like a bad ventriloquist. He touched Seifer's elbow, but his lover jerked away angrily. It cut Squall like a knife. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean it."

"Yeah you did."

"Okay. Just don't want you hurt anymore." Seifer was starting to blur in front of him, and didn't know if the tears were from physical pain, or the pain of having Seifer angry at him. He grabbed Seifer's elbow again, and Seifer briefly dug his feet in like a mule, but then finally relented and let Squall lead him out like an invalid. He could feel the magical assault against Bahamut lessening. Rinoa must have gotten word around Garden about the danger.

As Squall led Seifer to the main gates and out to safety, he saw people still looking at them warily. With fear. Though he was hurt and not at his best, people still gave Squall a fearful, respectful birth. Seifer could smell fresh seaside air, and heard commotion as word spread about the sarin gas. He kept his mental connection to Bahamut strong, urging the dragon to help get people out. He could feel himself being gently pushed down onto some cold stone surface. His leg was throbbing something awful.

Squall looked at Seifer's profile, and felt sick. "Sorry," Squall whispered through clenched teeth. He put his chin on Seifer's shoulder, checking his mental connection with Shiva. But, she was still too hurt to be summoned. Serino's protective barrier around them was stronger now that the moogle was outside. Seifer felt Serino's weight come down on his shoulder.

"It's fine," Seifer said back, but he didn't sound like he meant it.

Squall could only frown and feel miserable. Having Seifer mad at him like this was a knife in his heart more painful than any ache in his ribs. Seifer didn't seem like he wanted to talk anymore. He had his blind eyes closed and they were moving under his lids. He was probably communicating with Bahamut. Squall could only watch Garden, wondering if he was going to see people coming out. Wondering if Quisty would ever come out.

"Someone's coming," Squall informed, forgetting to keep his mouth closed in his excitement. The jaw motion wrenched a low scream from him. Seifer's hand involuntarily squeezed his at the sound of his pain, and he knew the other man's anger wouldn't last forever.

"Stop talking, kupo!" Serino exclaimed. "It's the Sorceress, kupo!"

Squall saw Rinoa ushering some SeeD and Garden staff and students outside. They all looked confused and worried, but not all out panicking. She must not have told them the whole truth. It would just cause a stampede. He admired her for her quick thinking. She met Squall's eyes and nodded before teleporting again.

"Rinoa just brought out some people," Squall informed his blind lover. "She just went back in. Some of the SeeD are creating a perimeter to keep people away." He said this all through clenched teeth while Serino made angry, almost motherly, noises of protest.

"Raijin?"

"No."

"Jurgen is with him, kupo. He'll be okay."

"What have you done?" Quistis shouted at Xu, quickly dodging one of Nida's furious knife attacks. She kicked him hard out of the way. He flew backwards, smashing into a side table. He wasn't the proud fighter he once was, and was now a pathetic wretch. His attacks weren't skilled, but they were full of pure, powerful desperation. She elbowed him in the face, and heard something crack. It could have been his nose, but it sounded more like a tooth. She didn't want to hurt Nida, but he didn't have that same hesitation. She rotated her shoulder as fast and as strongly as she could, and elbowed Nida again in the face. His dark, glassy eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fell to the ground like an old sack.

"I guess I can't lie to you," Xu admitted. The remorse in Xu's voice did sound real, but Quistis couldn't let herself ever believe anything about this woman ever again.

"You've done nothing but lie."

Xu winked darkly and she quickly crouched down. Quistis only had the barest second to react when she saw the glint of silver coming from out of Xu's boot. The throwing knife was embedded in her shoulder before she even knew it. Quistis cracked her whip, slow because of the knife buried there. Xu dodged the poisonous barb on the end of the weapon. The second time, as Xu was running for the door of the boardroom, Quistis aimed lower and she tripped Xu's feet out from under her. She groaned as she felt the knife twisting in her muscles. Xu went sprawling and landed in an ungraceful heap on the floor.

Quistis leapt on top of her former friend and started punching her into submission. Xu's hands clawed up and grabbed the hilt of the dagger, and started twisting. Quistis groaned, eyes rolling up in her head from the pain when Xu started pulling it upwards. The blade inside her started to tear through her shoulder muscles. Quistis couldn't see anything through the blurriness of tears and agony, and moved purely on instinct. She got her whip coiled around her hands, and then went for Xu's throat. The Malboro tentacles burned Xu's neck as Quistis pressed the whip down, and then quickly coiled it. She started choking her once best friend, Xu bucking under her like a wild horse. She kneed, elbowed and punched Xu whenever she could, trying to subdue her tormentor, her former best friend.

Xu's hands kept trying to reach up for the dagger, and for her own throat, but Quistis started shifting herself on Xu's body, trying to pin her elbows down with her knees. She was sore and tired and it was hard to strangle somebody to death, but Quistis was finally able to get the upper hand and got Xu's arms flattened to the ground. She kept pulling up on Save The Queen as hard as she could. She could hear it creaking over the sound of Xu's hoarse gasps for air. Xu's dark eyes were bulging and looking up at Quistis, full of fear and pleading for mercy. Quistis stared into those eyes for a long time, knowing that she could kill Xu right here and now. That if she did, she'd be perfectly justified. That Xu completely ruined her life while claiming to be her friend.

But, even as she thought all those things, she loosened her grip on the whip. She thought of the Xu she'd known back before all this, and Hyne help her, she loosened her grip. Her mind kept screaming at her to finish Xu off. She was a viper that would maintain all he venom, and she wouldn't feel remorse. She hadn't shown Quistis any mercy before, and wouldn't just because Quistis now showed it to her. Her brain begged her to kill Xu, cursing her heart as weak for hesitating.

Xu's face, looking up at her with bulging eyes and reddening skin, suddenly got blurry. An intense pain started small at the base of her skull, then exploded like a blast wave around her head on both sides until it converged behind her eyes. The world went white, then red, then black, and she was sliding off Xu, her whip coiling on the ground like a dead snake. In the blur, she saw Nida standing over her with what looked like a chair leg in his hands. Quistis groaned, feeling wet stickiness trickling down the nape of her neck, and to her horror, saw Xu rising to her feet and stumbling out the door before the blackness she struggled against grew too strong.

Xu rubbed her neck and started a shaky jog towards the service elevator. She checked her watch, synchronized to the sarin counter on the computer. "Nida!" She called. "Hurry!" The elevator came into view. So close to freedom! "Nida!" She called desperately. Nida would kill Quistis, and Xu would have him all to herself. She would win. Finally, she would prevail over Garden's golden-haired goddess. "Hurry, darling!" She called again.

But fate intervened in the form of green mist slowly seeping into the hallway, blocking her from the elevator bay. It grew thicker, the poisonous stink making her eyes water. The mist then formed the shape of a tall, impossibly thin black man wearing a blacker than night suit and top hat, eyes glowing an evil, malevolent green under the brim. Xu whirled around, hand over her mouth to block out the fumes, and through the painful tears caused by the gas, she saw a small figure shimmying out of an air duct, falling out into the hallway with grace.

Selphie's small body shook with outrage and horror as she looked at Xu. She still hadn't known how she'd react when seeing her, after her fateful discoveries in Fisherman's Horizon. Now, looking into her eyes, all she wanted to do was throw up. She hated Xu. She hated herself.

"You better let me go, Selphie," Xu said from behind her hand. She could taste Doomtrain's poison in the back of her throat. "Or I'll override the timer on half a dozen canisters of sarin gas. You want that many lives on you?"

Selphie balked. The gas around Doomtrain receded with Selphie's hesitation. This could be a bluff...

Before Selphie could make a decision, a gunshot rang out in the tense silence between the two women. Doomtrain's gas immediately grew thicker, and Xu screamed, falling to the carpet. Through the green mist, Selphie saw a black clad man crouched down with a rifle trained right on her heart. His face was covered by a full gas mask, and the shining beauty of Siren hovered behind him. Doomtrain hissed, and the hallway filled with the beautiful, mind-addling notes of Siren's deadly voice.

Xu cried out in pain, holding her kneecap, which was a mess of blood splatter, exposed tendons and exploded bone. "Where's Quistis?" The man demanded over Xu's screams, his deep voice laced with an Estharian accent.

"I..." Selphie trailed off, Siren's music seeping into her skin. A hellish screech from Doomtrain brought her back to her senses. "I don't know."

"Get the hell out of here," the man said, not taking off his mask. "There's a cache of sarin gas going off in six minutes."

"Oh Hyne..." Xu hadn't been lying. "Did Sir Laguna send forces?" She asked, her heart leaping. She had no right to call him that after the way she'd turned her back on his son.

"It's in the underground levels. Use your GF to get as many students out as possible." He raised the rifle away from her heart, but Siren still eyed Doomtrain wrathfully. "GO!" He shouted when she just stood there in shock.

"What about Xu?" She asked. "I can use Doomtrain to contain her. She'd find a way to escape, even with a blown-out kneecap."

"Fine. Just do it fast." Jurgen started jogging up the hall and pointing his rifle into each room, searching desperately for Quistis. Siren stayed at his back, not trusting Doomtrain or Selphie for a second.

"Quistis!" Jurgen called, hoping she'd answer back. So many seconds ticking down... "Quistis!"

From in the boardroom, she heard someone calling her name. "Nida..." She moaned desperately, slipping in and out of unconsciousness. Nida straddled her, fingers wrapped around her throat. He wept as he tried to kill her, but his hands were so weak that it was slow going. "Nida..." His face swam to the surface of her mind, his gaunt cheeks and manic, heroin-fuelled eyes.

"Quistis!" Jurgen called, cursing when he saw Nida strangling her. He crossed the room in two quick steps and clubbed Nida across the face with the rifle's stock.

"Nida..." Quistis moaned again, head lolling back and forth as she fought with everything she had to stay conscious. She rasped and coughed for air. She could hear a voice calling her name. It brought tears to her eyes, the deep, hoarse utterance of her name from Jurgen's lips.

Jurgen heard the way she said this man's name. The feeling behind it, even half conscious. He cupped the back of her head and felt the blood. Pulsing healing magic into her and pushing some smelling salts under her nose caused her to gasp and sit up, eyes wide and wild.

"You have to get out of here," Jurgen told her, ripping off the gas mask.

"Jurgen...?" She looked at him, still confused. "Where's Xu?"

"Taken care of. Look..."

"The gas!" Quistis struggled to a sitting position. "We have to help everyone still inside!" She tried to stand, but wobbled and threw up from the pain and vertigo. It got half on her, half on Jurgen.

"I know. We're working on getting everyone out." He pressed the gas mask into her hands. "Siren will get you out. You fucking run, okay? And don't stop. Squall and Seifer are already outside."

"But..." She looked into Jurgen's quicksilver eyes, then down to Nida, laying unconscious at Jurgen's feet with blood seeping from his broken nose.

"Just go, goddammit!" He urged her, shoving her towards the door. "There's not much time!" He immediately went over to the computer terminal in the room, shaking his head at Quistis when she hesitated.

"You better come back," she murmured, putting the gas mask over her face and making a mad break for the stairs. She just had to trust that Jurgen, and Nida, would be okay.

Jurgen started tapping madly on the keyboard. When he and Raijin, along with a SeeD with a tribal tattoo on his face, had examined the bomb, they knew that they wouldn't be able to diffuse it. Messing with it at all would cause it to go off early. Jurgen's last hope was to try and stop the countdown. Right now, his goal was to try his best, but he knew that there would be lives lost today. Things were just a mass of confusion, and even Sorceress Rinoa couldn't teleport fast enough to warn everyone, find all the little pockets of students, and gain trust fast enough among a population that saw them all as enemies.

When the timer dipped to 1:50, Jurgen knew he had to try and get out. With this unconscious man, things would go a lot slower. Jurgen picked up this man and started to shuffle into the hallway. Nida, that's what she'd called him. At least he was extremely light. He looked like he'd either been starved or was on drugs.

Quistis obviously cared about him. Was he a boyfriend? They hadn't exactly discussed if she had someone back here in Balamb Town. Jurgen had the strong urge to just leave him here to die in the sarin gas, but his morals outweighed his jealousy as he dragged Nida towards the stairs. His watch started beeping incessantly as the timer neared one minute. He got to the second floor, and found the stairs leading down to the main atrium were blocked off by smouldering rubble. Some sort of magical attack had caved in part of the ceiling, and left Jurgen's path blocked, and his eyes stinging from the smoke.

Jurgen started to search for another way out, his watch beeping incessantly now. Less than thirty seconds. Nida felt so heavy as he tried to find another fire exit. Something. Anything. He tried not to look at his watch as it counted down the last ten seconds. When the countdown ended, Jurgen immediately covered Nida's face with his jacket, and heard hissing through the air ducts. He started running, muscles screaming in pain because of Nida's dead weight. The fire exit doors were locked electronically, and he'd just run out of options for escape.

Jurgen had his eyes slammed shut, and only opened them briefly to try and find his way to some secret exit. The halls started to fill with gas, and he held his breath for as long as possible, only bringing in minor amounts of burning air when he felt like he was about to pass out. He wound up in a classroom where chairs and desks had been toppled over. It looked very sad and pathetic, and it was most definitely a dead end. Jurgen's body started to feel the effects of the gas, and he completely moved on instinct. Running as fast as he could while carrying an unconscious human being, he dashed towards the plate glass windows of the classroom and smashed right through the glass, falling to the ground two stories below.

"Seifer! Squall!" Quistis cried, ripping off the gas mask as she ran out onto the open grasslands around Garden, Siren and Diablos trailing behind her. His bats kept very close to her, as if apologizing for not coming to her rescue, even though she hadn't called for him. Her shoulder and head blazed in agony. People milled about, watching Garden in horror. Watches beeped as Xu's timer expired, and the school filled with nerve gas. "Seifer!" She screamed again. "Squall!"

"Here!" Raijin's booming voice called. She saw him, standing so much taller than most of the SeeD or students, waving his arms frantically to her.

Quistis ran over and looked at Squall and Seifer in shock. Both looked so injured. Squall's face was bruised and his jaw looked really swollen.

"We couldn't stop it..." Raijin murmured. Tears stained his cheeks, and he looked so defeated and lost. "We couldn't..."

Rinoa suddenly appeared, teleporting from elsewhere. Her clothes were soaked in sweat, making the white garments nearly see-through. Her hair hung lank and stuck to her forehead and cheeks. Her wings hung on her back, not disappearing because of all the magic that thrummed through her body. She collapsed on the grass beside Seifer. "We we tried to get them all out" She panted.

"Where's Jurgen, ya know?" Raijin asked, his voice wobbling.

Quistis's face crumpled. "He stayed behind to get Nida out."

"Nida?" Squall exclaimed angrily. He then moaned in pain because of his jaw.

"Why?" Seifer asked tiredly, his eyes trying to find the source of Quistis's voice.

"Because of me." She flopped down on the grass, crawling like a child over to Seifer so she could put her head against his shoulder.

"What about Xu?" Rinoa asked. She panted loudly to catch her breath, giving her magic time to recharge before she started teleporting around again to check on Garden's refugees.

"Selphie got her." Quistis felt like she was going to throw up from the knock on the head. Seifer's arm gingerly draped over her shoulders.

"Selphie?" Raijin asked, trying to control his tears. Rinoa gave him a quick, comforting hug before vanishing again. Downy white feathers littered the ground where she'd been standing. "You sure you can trust her, ya know?"

Quistis didn't answer. She had to swallow back vomit as she rubbed her cheek against Seifer's shoulder. He smelled like smoke and blood and pain. She should have killed Xu when she had the chance. She should have stopped Jurgen from giving her the gas mask, and she should have made him come with her. She thought of Nida's drug-fuelled eyes and his thin, maniacally strong arms. Jurgen just possibly gave his life to try and save a man that Quistis knew she had no reason to care for, but still did. And now they both might be dead.

The air suddenly crackled with magic, and Edea appeared near them. Her eyes scanned the crowds, and she rushed forward when she found Squall.

"Mrs. Kramer! I'm so sorry, ya know?" Raijin practically kneeled before her, crying in earnest. "We tried to get everyone out." He thought of the faces that had gotten left behind, surely dead now. How many more hadn't they known about?

"Shhh..." Edea soothed. "I know," she whispered to him. "Squall," she said more loudly. "Your father's on the way. They're bringing medical equipment on Ragnarok. Holy Hyne, Squall... what happened to you?" She crouched in front of him and gingerly touched his swollen jaw.

He winced away from the touch and squeezed Seifer's hand, though the other man didn't squeeze it back. He still seemed angry.

"Tiernan's coming, too. So he'll check on you." She rose to her feet and looked at the place that she and Cid had built together, surrounded by horrified students. A lot of them shot looks to Seifer, Squall and Quistis - criminals that they'd been hunting relentlessly, now sitting among them. Garden had been such a beautiful dream, and now it perched on the verge of collapse. Would Garden be able to rise above this?

Edea's blood ran cold when she saw Doomtrain, in his locomotive form, wrapped in a circle like a snake, holding Xu within the circle made by his body. The train spewed gas to keep her subdued. Selphie watched, crouched on the ground, holding her knees. When Selphie sensed Edea's strong magical presence, she rose to her full, diminutive height.

"Matron..." She trailed off when Edea walked towards Xu. She had to look into the eyes of the woman who murdered her husband. Through the gaps between Doomtrain's cars, she saw her. How many times had she spoken pleasantly to Xu when making visits to Cid's office? She could remember Xu and Quistis laughing together, thick as thieves. She remembered seeing potential in Xu for leadership. And now she sat in her makeshift prison, staring at nothing. As if she hadn't destroyed so many lives with her lies. As if she hadn't just killed the people she'd wanted to rule like a Queen. Edea lowered herself to the grass, kneeling in it. Xu didn't seem to see her, but she kept looking. As if staring at Xu could give her the answers she sought.

It took several hours for Laguna to arrive from Esthar, even in an airship as fast as Ragnarok. Trying to do a headcount took even longer than that. Tiernan brought a whole team of doctors to help any injured Garden students and SeeD. The inns in Balamb Town became makeshift hospitals after the town's small hospital filled beyond its capacity.

Squall and Seifer wound up in Balamb Town's hospital with Quistis. Her concussion was minor, and her earlier stitches from the knife wound held intact even though they didn't feel like it, and she'd gotten her shoulder stitched up. She sat by the window, staring into the darkness. The moon reflected off the water, and the buoys rang with the rhythmic heaving of the waves. So far, there wasn't any word about Jurgen. He could have been in the headcount, but it would take the makeshift SeeD team, working with the Estharian forces, well into the night to sort out. All she could do was wait, and hate herself for not having the stomach to kill Xu when she had the chance. And, she could only wonder if Jurgen and Nida were still alive. And if they both were, what then? Jurgen had gone to save Nida because he'd heard the way Quistis said his name. Would that affect things between them? Had Nida been drugged this whole time? Maybe he'd really been the one that sent the email to Irvine that started Xu's downfall.

She looked over her shoulder to where Seifer and Squall slept, Serino curled up at the small of Squall's back like a housecat. They'd pushed the hospital beds together so the three of them could all sleep near each other. Squall was fast asleep, under the influence of strong painkillers. He was scheduled for surgery in the morning to put metal in his ribs to keep them together during healing. He'd already had his jaw wired shut. Tiernan had taken them, and Laguna, aside to warn them about the addictive qualities of the painkillers, and to ask them to keep a beady eye on Squall, especially with his track record of addiction.

Seifer's leg had been repined by one of Balamb's doctors, and he'd been given a new cast. He'd also been given painkillers, but because of his allergic reaction, she knew he still felt the pain, just like he had since Fisherman's Horizon. She also saw that he wasn't sleeping.

"Seifer...?" She whispered, even though the drugs had knocked Squall out cold.

"Hmm?" He asked in the darkness.

She got up and shuffled over to the bed, slowly stretching her sore body out beside him. "I could have killed her, you know? But I didn't. I couldn't."

He put an arm around her.

"She deserved it. Look what she did to Garden. Look what she did to us!" She took in a shaking breath. "But I couldn't."

"It doesn't make you weak. It means you rose above her. If you'd killed her, you would have become the murderer that she'd told everyone you were."

"Would you have killed Astor if you had the chance?"

Seifer didn't answer. The long silence went on, and he became lost in thought. Quistis didn't try to prod an answer from him.

"Are you still in love with Nida?" He asked after a long time.

"I... Hyne, I don't fucking know," she admitted. "I don't think I'm in love with Jurgen, either. But if I heard one of them, or both of them, were dead..."

"If I had a choice, I'd pick Jurgen."

"For me, or yourself?"

He grinned, but it was tight and lacking any real humour. "At least Jurgen never shot me."

"Maybe he didn't mean to do it. Maybe he had to stay undercover."

"Maybe."

"What now?"

"I dunno," Seifer replied. "Wait for Xu's trial, I guess. It'll take a long time, and will probably hang over our heads for months. This kind of thing always does."

"They'll probably hold it in Fisherman's Horizon," she guessed, remembering her old SeeD rulebooks. FH was considering neutral ground, and any Garden soldier arrested for criminal offences had their trial there to avoid partiality on the prosecuting side. "There's enough evidence for the death penalty. But now they'll have to figure out where they go from here. I mean... how can Garden pick up the pieces? How do we pick up the pieces?"

"Slowly." Seifer instinctively felt around for the new cast around his leg. "I have to learn to live with being a blind cripple." Squall's comments to him in the heat of the moment stung Seifer deeply. Hope was that one thing that he'd been able to hold onto while Astor tortured him, and he'd held onto it while they'd been travelling through the Centra mountains. He'd even held onto it when Tiernan brought him back from the dead, but Squall's words made his grip on precious hope weaken. There may never be a cornea donation, and even if there were, maybe it wouldn't completely fix his sight. Maybe the damage was deeper than even Tiernan knew. Maybe his leg would never heal again, and he'd never really be able to walk properly. He'd never be able to go out and chase after tonberrys in rocky Centra. He'd never be able to go for a run along the Balamb coastline. He'd never be able to walk across a room without pain. He knew Squall had said it just to keep him from further danger, and didn't meant to hurt him, but it did. It hurt because it rang so true.

"You think that?" Quistis asked, reaching up to touch the scarred side of his face. The livid red lines that connected the skin grafting were already lessening. Another bout of cosmetic surface surgery would probably mostly get rid of them. "I think that you're always been slippery, and weaseled your way out of anything. You never got in real trouble at Garden, no matter how much bad shit you did." She grinned, unable to count how many times she'd had to yell at him over the years for breaking the rules. "And you always knew that you'd come out on top. What makes you think this time will be any different?"

"A leg fucking up beyond repair is a lot different than sneaking out so I could do some underage drinking and make out with a mechanic's assistant."

"Hey," she said sternly. "Leave the 'poor me' second guessing to me and Squall, okay? Seifer Almasy always comes out on top. He's the best, and he knows it. Remember that. Okay?"

"Okay," he relented, smiling at her bossiness.

"So wait... you don't mean that mechanic's assistant from the gateway garage, do you? The one right near the highway?"

"Maybe."

"You made out with him?"

"More than once."

"Oh man. Why didn't I ever hear about this?"

"Because you were an Instructor and I wasn't stupid enough to admit to something that could get me in trouble?"

Quistis grinned into his shoulder. He sounded like the old Seifer Almasy there. She knew that brash, troublemaking kid didn't quite exist anymore, but he was still in there somewhere, mingling with a calmer, older Seifer that had been made out of great trial and misery, only outweighed by the great love that also made him into what he was now.

Quistis jerked when she felt someone shaking her. She must have fallen asleep at some point. She still lay beside Seifer on the pushed-together hospital beds, and looked up to see Raijin looking down at her.

"What happened?" She asked immediately, sensing something.

"They found Jurgen and Nida."

She immediately disentangled herself from Seifer and rushed out of the bed. "And...?"

"They're both alive," Raijin whispered, waiting for her to put on some hospital issued slippers. "Both unconscious." His normally warm dark eyes looked haunted.

"What happened?" She asked, heart hammering in her chest, following Raijin out into the deathly silent hall.

"Looks like they jumped out of a classroom window, ya know?"

Quistis's legs went numb. "How bad is he hurt?" She didn't even know who she meant.

"Nida's got some bruises, but Jurgen took most of the impact of the fall. He must have shielded Nida with his body. Nida's addicted to heroin, so they put him in the detox wing. Jurgen's down here." He took her hand and started leading her towards his room. "Broken collarbone and arm, a lot of cuts from the broken glass, concussion and some brain swelling, ya know? If the swelling doesn't go down, he could be in trouble, ya know?"

The stopped in front of the viewing window to Jurgen's room, and she saw him through the gaps between the mini-blinds, laying all bandaged up and hooked up to an IV. He normally seemed so indestructible to her, like Seifer. Now he looked so frail and human, laying there in his hospital bed. Laying there because of her. For her.

"We both tried to stop it. Zell too, ya know? But..."

"You all did what you had to," Quistis said quietly. "You saved a lot of lives."

"What about the ones I didn't save? Seventy people died. A few of them were only kids." His voice shook, and she heard him start to quietly weep.

She reached out to find Raijin's large hand, not taking her eyes off Jurgen. Her own hand felt dwarfed in his grip. "Think about the ones you did save."

He snuffled and wiped his cheeks. "How can I forget them?"

"You don't," she answered, her own tears starting to come. "You live for them."

"They didn't find Luchia in the headcount, ya know?" He said bitterly, lowering himself into one of those uncomfortable plastic hospital chairs that he was getting pretty sick of sitting in.

"Rats know when to abandon ship."

"But where is she, ya know?"

"I don't know." And truthfully, Quistis didn't care. She knew Luchia wouldn't come hunting her. Xu's cause wasn't her own. It was just a job.

"Xu's locked up in the town jail with Doomtrain guarding her, ya know? She won't be getting out."

She trusted Selphie to keep Xu contained, but it didn't mean that she trusted the other girl to ever be her friend again. She knew Squall would say the bond was severed forever, but Quistis wasn't quite ready to burn all bridges yet. It still didn't mean that she was ready to forgive, either. Just like she wasn't completely ready to forgive Rinoa either, even after the Sorceress had proved her desire to help and mend their friendship time and time again.

Quistis lowered herself into one of the chairs, looking at her hands. The nursing staff were so harassed and understaffed that nobody came to shoo her away because it was after visiting hours. Raijin sat beside her for a while, both of them lost in their own heads.

"You should try to sleep," she said after what could have been ten minutes, or what could have been ten hours.

"I don't know if I'll be able to."

"You should still try," she said in her best Instructor voice, though she sounded dead and worn out. "Hey..." She called when he stood up and started walking towards the elevators. He was staying at one of Balamb's inns since he didn't need further medical treatment. "Can you... Umm, I guess tell Rinoa thanks, okay?"

He nodded. Was that Quistis's way of saying she knew about the way things were progressing between him and Rinoa? He came back to her and kissed the top of her head before leaving. Balamb's evenings were warm and the air smelled fresh and salty. Raijin looked up to the sky. The starts glittered clearly once he got away from the hospital. The streets were empty at this time of night.

When he got back to his hotel room, he was surprised to find Rinoa sitting outside his door in the hallway. Her head lolled on her shoulder and she jerked awake when she heard his footsteps on the carpet.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked.

She slowly struggled to her feet, shaking away her sleepiness with a toss of her head. Her hair still hung sweaty and limp, and her white blouse and peasant skirt were rumpled. "How are they?"

"Quisty's okay. They found Jurgen and Nida, both alive. They're both kinda fucked up, ya know? Seifer got his leg repined, and Squall's gotta have surgery on his ribs, and he got his jaw wired shut, ya know?"

"The one person who probably won't miss talking," she said. The joke just fell through the air like a lead ball, and she didn't even smile as she said it. She then just stared at him, and he saw his own feelings mirrored in her almond-shaped eyes. "What about Tia?" Rinoa asked boldly. She realized that Raijin would probably never make the first step, and she didn't want to stay in limbo about it forever. She'd done that for her entire relationship with Squall. She wouldn't leave the truth just sitting there to twist and fester ever again.

"I can't just sneak behind her back, ya know? I mean, you know how that feels. I guess... I gotta see if there's anything to save."

Rinoa nodded. "I know. But I also know that you can't keep a relationship going if it doesn't want to be saved, too."

He reached out to touch her limp hair with a big hand, but dropped it away before contact. "Yeah, I know. I'm gonna head to Dollet tomorrow. Seifer should be okay now that Laguna's here to keep reporters away." Once the story about the sarin gas in Garden broke and that Laguna Loire would be coming to Balamb Town, the TV and newspaper reporters came out of the woodwork with cameras pointed and microphones thrust out at every chance. The number of them grew as trains from Timber and Esthar rolled into Balamb's station. They all wanted to know why Xu did it. They all wanted to know what exactly happened to Seifer. They all wanted to know how Squall and Quistis felt about being vindicated. And they all got stymied with 'no comment'.

"You'll text me, right? No matter what?"

"No matter what." Raijin grinned, and she grinned back. It made him just want to kiss her and carry her into his room, but they'd both seen firsthand how that sort of thing wrecked lives. "Dollet TV's still calling me, ya know? Maybe I'll stop there, too."

"It sure would give Seifer extra incentive to get better. If he does."

"No if about it, ya know? Nothin' can stop Seifer, ya know?"

Rinoa smiled. "No, I guess not." He always got what he wanted in life. Even Squall. She tried not to be bitter about it, and knew that Squall and her were all wrong for each other, and that there was a perfectly great man standing right in front of her. But she still held a little anger about it. Enough time just hadn't passed yet. "I guess I'll see you later."

"Rinoa?" Raijin called before she turned a corner to go down a different hallway.

"Yes?" She looked over her shoulder.

"You saved a lot of people today. Don't forget that." A haunted look came over his face. "Quistis gave me that advice, so I know it's a lot better than any advice I could give you myself."

She nodded. "Good night, Raijin." When she rounded the corner and he was out of sight, she slumped against the wall, overcome by grief and happiness and hope that she tried not to give merit to that it brought tears to her eyes. Her translucent angel wings wrapped around her in the poor imitation of a hug as she quietly wept.

'Have you decided anything?' Squall's whiteboard asked in slightly sloppy printing. Because he couldn't talk, Laguna gave him the whiteboard with a pack of different coloured markers. Quistis acted as a translator, since Seifer couldn't read Squall's words. But half the time, Seifer didn't need Squall's messages verbalized. He could feel what Squall wanted to say in the touch of his hand, or the way he held his body. And, if it were really important and Squall didn't want to write it down because he found it embarrassing, he'd murmur it in Seifer's ear, voice clenched like he was trying to be a ventriloquist.

"No," Quistis answered. Squall meant Nida and Jurgen. She still wasn't allowed to see Nida, and probably wouldn't be allowed for a few weeks, at least until he wasn't so dependant on the methadone to get the heroin out of his system. And Jurgen still remained in his coma. She couldn't see Nida, and she wouldn't see Jurgen. She just couldn't look down at him and know that he'd done this to himself so she could have the chance to get out. She couldn't look down at him and realize that he'd done it for nothing, because she might still love Nida.

'Don't choose who you think you should,' Squall wrote. He gave her a meaningful look. His writing was normally so precise, like an architect, but the morphine made it loopy, crooked and shaky. He'd even spelled a couple of words wrong. He would have been mortified if he were sober, but since he was high out of his mind, he didn't care. It worried Quistis. She remembered the Squall she found in Timber.

"I know he probably did it to keep appearances, but I'd prefer you be with a man who hasn't shot me," Seifer said. His blind eyes kept skirting over to Squall, and Quistis knew he thought the same things she did - that painkillers were dangerous territory for someone with Squall's addictive tendencies.

Quistis frowned and opened her mouth to defend Nida, but her phone started chiming to tell her about an incoming text message. She fished around for her phone and frowned at the number. She'd been so far removed from civilization that she hadn't culled her friends list, and saw the message came from Zell's phone. She wasn't exactly as unforgiving as Squall, who probably would smash his own phone if he got a call from Zell, but she didn't know if she wanted to talk to him, either.

'Who is it?' Squall wrote, spelling is with a z at the end.

"Nobody," she answered.

Squall tried to snatch the phone away before she put it back in her pocket, but his reflexes under morphine were slow and clumsy.

"It's either Zell or Selphie. I mean, I can see Xu having the balls to try and text you," Seifer pointed out, voice tight with the constant pain he had to live with because of his stupid poppy allergy. "But I think you'd just laugh in disbelief if it were her."

"Zell," Quistis admitted, which won a glassy, evil glare from Squall.

"Okay Kitten, my body's already broken enough without you fucking up my hand." Seifer wrenched his hand out of Squall's tightening grip and flexed his fingers until the circulation came back.

"Sorry," Squall ground out.

"And don't even start writing anything." Seifer's improved hearing picked up on the squeaking of Squall's dry-erase marker. "I mean, you don't have to forgive Zell, but you do have to work towards a common goal..."

"Yeah, yeah," Quistis interrupted. "Restoring Garden to fight Ultimecia. We know," she said darkly. This was one thing she was in complete agreement with Squall about. Normally she sort of fell between their opinions, but not on this. She knew they had to go back to Garden eventually, but she wasn't ready. She couldn't see when she'd be ready.

"Good," Seifer said, settling back in his pillows. While in Balamb, he spent most of his time in bed, because he didn't know this hospital well enough to travel blind, and he hated the wheelchair they'd provided for him. It didn't have intuitive steering, it had an uncomfortable seat, and one of the wheels sometimes squeaked. "Where's Serino?" He asked. He missed the sweet nutty smell of the moogle's fur.

Squall started writing, and they both waited until he'd finished. Quistis had to read it over a few times because his writing was getting sloppier, just like his spelling. "He went out towards the mountains to check if any moogles left scent trails."

"I wonder... could you imagine if there were moogles in the mountains around Garden that whole time? We could have been living right next to them."

Quistis reached out and patted Seifer's good knee when she saw the sad look on his face. "You'll get back out there. Tiernan will do everything he can. Especially because he's probably afraid Squall will murder him in his sleep if he doesn't."

Squall nodded vigorously, eyes looking like he was on another planet.

They looked up when the door opened and Laguna popped his head in. "Hey guys, what's up?" He came into the room with a bright smile. His eyes lingered on his son, and the smile tightened around the edges. "I just wanted to let you know that we're gonna take off for Esthar soon. Jurgen just woke up, and he's safe for travel."

"Jurgen's awake?" Quistis asked.

"Yeah. You can go see him if you want."

"Um... what about Nida?" She asked.

Laguna frowned. "He'll be staying here in the detox wing." Her request seemed odd to him, the desire to bring along the man who almost killed Seifer, but Laguna wasn't aware of her conflicted feelings. "Are you willing to give a statement to the press? You know they're gonna be out there like vultures." He came across the room and gave Squall a one-armed hug, but then lifted his chin up and studied his face.

Squall grunted through his wired-shut mouth and tried to slap his father's hand away, but couldn't because he saw three of Laguna looking down at him.

Seifer nodded, but didn't exactly feel thrilled about going back to Esthar. He knew as soon as they got back, he'd have to go under the knife again. Another leg surgery. More scars. Would there be any bone in his leg, or would it wind up being all pins and metal?

"I'm gonna go see Jurgen," Quistis said, sliding off the bed. She was glad Jurgen was awake, but didn't know what she'd say to him when she saw him.

"Get some sleep," Laguna commanded to Seifer and Squall. Mostly to Squall, though. "We'll leave in a couple hours."

Quistis lowered herself into a squeaky plastic chair beside Jurgen's bed. He'd been drifting in and out of sleep, but the creak woke him. He slowly lolled his head to look at Quistis. His mouth twitched up at the corners, and his grey eyes drilled right into her.

"I'm sorry."

Jurgen wearily waved his hand to push away Quistis's apology. "How many...?" He whispered, voice scratchy and weak.

"We're not sure yet," Quistis muttered, squeezing her hands together in her lap. "Might be close to a hundred. There are a few here that are succumbing to the gas."

"Xu?"

"Alive. Under arrest. She'll go to trial in Fisherman's Horizon. It's neutral ground." She shrugged. "I couldn't kill her."

Jurgen nodded. "Your friend?"

Quistis's lips parted and a shaky little breath came out. "He... he's alive. In detox. Xu had him addicted to heroin."

Jurgen nodded again and watched her for a while. She felt scrutinized, and it made her very uncomfortable because it made her feel so guilty. "You love him?"

She wanted to say 'no'. She wanted to say that she didn't still have lustful feelings for him, but didn't want to lie. Jurgen didn't deserve that, and he would have known she was lying, anyway. "I I don't know," she admitted. "I want to say no, but I don't know."

"Are you going to stay behind here with him?"

"No," Quistis answered immediately. At least she knew how to answer that question. "I'm going wherever Squall and Seifer are."

"You're very loyal."

"Maybe to a fault," she admitted.

"We kissed once, Quistis." He stopped to let out a weak, ragged cough. "You don't owe me anything." But his eyes said different. He wanted her, and couldn't hide it even to spare her feelings. He closed his eyes, weariness overcoming him.

Quistis reached out and took his hand in both of hers. She wished she could just easily say 'Jurgen, I want to be with you'. But then she thought of Nida and the past they had together, and the lingering jolt in her stomach whenever she thought of him. Is this the same conflict that Squall felt when he thought of Seifer and Rinoa? Maybe not, though. He didn't love Rinoa. There'd been no question who Squall wanted to be with. But, now Quistis understood the conflict he'd felt. She just hoped she could come out on the right end of things, too.

"Do you feel vindicated now that everyone knows you were right?"

"Seifer, what did you think of to keep yourself alive during torture?"

"What exactly did Astor do to you?"

"What would you like to say to Xu right now?"

"Are charges being laid against you, Mr. Leonhart, for the death of Astor Westfield?"

"President Loire, what is Esthar's position against Balamb Garden?

Zell and Selphie stood on the fringe of the sea of reporters and curious people, watching as Laguna led Squall, Quistis and a wheelchair-bound Seifer into a van. Estharian guards stood armed and ready, watching the crowd impassively, faces obscured by their masks.

Zell started to push through the crowd to get closer, but was held back by a surprisingly strong Selphie.

"I need to..." Zell began.

"I know," Selphie said. "But now's really not the time." She looked at Seifer, being helped into the van by Laguna. His eyes looked straight ahead, staring into nothing, but he held his back straight and proud and so typically like Seifer Almasy. The red scars on his face stood out in stark relief, a map of the agonies he suffered. Selphie hadn't said to Zell what she found in FH, and didn't know if she ever would. She'd just said she'd found proof. Zell didn't need to picture that dank, stinking hellhole. He didn't need to picture Seifer cramped down there, bleeding out and suffering through intense pain, knowing it would start all over again when he got dragged back out. Selphie couldn't get the ideas out of her mind. She still smelled it. The thoughts made her wake in the middle of the night, shivering. Zell didn't need to picture all that, and feel crushed by the guilt, the knowledge that their disbelief in their friends had caused such things to happen.

"You think they'll ever forgive us?" Zell asked as Laguna tersely said "no comment" to all the questions being thrown in his face.

"I don't know."

"If you were them, would you forgive it?" A voice asked behind them.

Zell whipped around, but Selphie turned slower. She knew that voice, surely as she knew her own. Irvine and Fujin stood behind them. Fujin looked as cold and remote as ever, her single eye glaring at them, but Irvine looked very veiled. Selphie had always been able to read Irvine's looks, most of them of a sexual nature, but not today.

"No," Selphie admitted. "I couldn't get over what Seifer did to Trabia Garden, so this?"

"You forgave Edea," Irvine pointed out. This wasn't a new argument.

"I needed a scapegoat."

"And they needed friends."

"But, Xu..." Zell began. He halted when Fujin lunged towards him. She probably would have decked him if Irvine hadn't held her back.

"Even I know not to let my dick completely control me, Dincht." He put an arm around Fujin's shoulders and started to lead her away.

"Where will you go now?" Selphie asked.

"Fisherman's Horizon. We need to get evidence to the tribunal to put Xu away."

"DEATH PENALTY," Fujin corrected.

"Luchia's missing, you know?" Zell pointed out. He still felt like he wanted to throw up. The feeling hadn't gone away since he realized what he'd done. Since he realized who Xu really was, and that he'd had sex with her. He'd fallen in love with her.

"I know."

Selphie narrowed her eyes. There was sometimes a lot of mystery around her ex-boyfriend, and even she couldn't deduce what he hid.

"Just give it time, okay? At least wait until Seifer's not in a wheelchair anymore."

Both Selphie and Zell flinched at Irvine's words, which was the intent.

"UNDESERVING," Fujin said scathingly as she and Irvine disappeared into the dispersing crowd. Now that the focus of all the circus drove away, people didn't have a reason to rubberneck anymore. Reporters scurried off to meet with editors, and the streets quelled back into an uneasy silence.

"I never liked Seifer, but I never wanted that to happen to him."

"I know," Selphie said. "You don't have to tell me that."

"I could have killed Squall. I didn't want to. I thought he was doing the right thing. You think he knows that?"

She could hear the tears behind his words. "Come on," she said, putting an arm around his strong shoulders, which were heavily hunched over. "Let's go to your mom's house."

"You didn't answer me."

"I know. Because I don't think it needs an answer."

Squall awoke to a dark, strange room. Once he tried to breathe, he knew immediately what woke him up. Pain. Pure, unchecked pain shot through his entire torso and radiated through the rest of his body. The painkillers had worn off, and now his legs tingled with the brutal agony starting in his ribs. He reached across the bed for Seifer's hand, wanting to hold it through the worst of it, where he forgot how to cope and had to steel himself against it all over again. But, Seifer's hand wasn't there. His fingers scuttled across the sheets, and still no hand. And no Serino, either.

He slowly sat up, regretting it. He breathed out against the wave of nausea, and looked around the unfamiliar room. They'd stopped in Fisherman's Horizon overnight so they could drop off Xu and work out trial dates. Squall wasn't looking forward to seeing her again if he had to testify. And he really didn't want Seifer to have to recount all that happened to him. Again he felt around for his lover, but finally realized he was alone in the bed. They'd stayed in the train taking them back to Esthar, rather than trying to move all kinds of medical equipment to an inn. They could have taken Ragnarok, but Tiernan thought flying in Squall, Seifer and Jurgen's conditions was a bad idea.

"Seifer?" Squall asked, muffled through clenched teeth. The tiny bathroom was dark and unoccupied. For some reason, Squall had a cold shiver of fear pulse down his spine. He slowly dragged himself out of bed and put on whatever clothes were handy, not caring if they were on backwards or inside out. He also put a black bandana over his messy hair, not caring or bothering to brush it. He just needed to find Seifer.

He didn't bother checking the rest of the train, because he knew his boyfriend wouldn't be there. That same connection that gave him the cold shudders told him where Seifer had gone in the middle of the night like this. He considered stopping to wake up Quistis, but kept moving. That sense of urgency turned to a nauseous movement in his stomach. Squall wished he could down half a bottle of painkillers, but stupid Tiernan kept them carefully guarded. So instead he breathed as shallowly as possible, and sneaked his way around any guards hanging around. Squall supposed he should be thankful for his drinking days, because they'd helped his stealth a great deal.

As Squall walked through the quiet, breezy night, he got an ugly sense of déjà vu. The last time he'd walked these same streets with the sound of the ocean and buoy bells in the background, he'd also been looking for Seifer. He'd been desperately hoping he wouldn't come to find Seifer dead. The last time he'd walked these streets, he hadn't known that he'd kill Astor with a brutality that shocked him. He hadn't known if Xu would ever be caught. All he'd known was the desperation of trying to find Seifer.

When he got to the entrance of the Garden facility, he didn't really want to go in. Armed SeeD stood outside, but he didn't try to hide himself from them. They were guarding Xu. Hopefully they put her in one of those tiny holes. The idea gave him vindictive pleasure.

"Squall...?" One of the SeeD blurted out in surprise.

Squall heard a lot of nervous gun cocking at the utterance, which broke a very thick silence. He slowly put his hands up to show he didn't have a weapon, breathing as shallowly as possible. He hadn't brought his white board, and he didn't really want to clench-talk, so he just stood there, staring down the SeeD. They were comrades again, but Squall didn't feel like one of them anymore.

The SeeD raised his arm, and the guns lowered. "Are you here to speak to Xu, too?"

Squall slowly nodded.

"Seifer's not SeeD, but we figured we owed him if he wanted in." The SeeD stood to the side to allow Squall passage.

Squall nodded again, knowing that Seifer hadn't come here to see that bitch. The female SeeD behind the administration desk pushed the guest book across the table for him to sign. He could still smell the rank astringent they must have used to clean up what had been left of Astor. He couldn't help but smile as he scrawled his name. The pain in his broken jaw from the motion was worth it. He noticed that someone had written Seifer's name in for him. He gestured for the SeeD guard to lead the way.

Squall flashed back to beating the shit out of Astor as they walked down the stairs to the second level. When the guard made a move to turn down the hallway where Xu's cell was, Squall turned the other way, and went to where he knew Seifer was.

"Uh... Squall... Sir?" The SeeD, as young as Squall had been when he'd first graduated, said nervously. "Xu is this way."

Squall gave him the finger over his shoulder and kept walking. He really wanted to stop and sit down because his ribs were killing him, but he kept going. The door to Seifer's home for nearly a week of hell was ajar, no light coming from within. Squall gently pushed the door ajar, and heard the echoing sound of Serino's chirps.

"Kupo..." The moogle greeted sadly. Squall could see his black eyes glittering in the light coming from the hallway.

"Hi, Kitten."

Squall lowered himself down beside Seifer, who sat with his back leaning against the wall, his legs dangling over the edge of the small, cramped room that still gave off a slight, hellish odour.

"I guess I just needed to come here," Seifer murmured. "For some kind of closure."

Squall rested his chin on Seifer's free shoulder. Serino hunkered down on the other one, pom-pom drooped.

"The first thing I remember feeling after waking up was him poking things into my bullet wounds. I thought it was so painful, but later on I wished for him to just go back to doing that. Whenever I blacked out, he would give me smelling salts."

Squall found Seifer's hand and squeezed it. He wanted to ask Seifer to stop talking about this. He didn't want to hear that fear making Seifer's voice wobble. He wanted to keep Seifer safe from these memories, but knew the other man needed closure.

"When... Astor..." He haltingly ground out the name. "When he had to leave, he'd put me down here. It stunk way worse than it does now. It smelled from whoever was down there before me. When he brought me out again, he broke my leg the first time, and made the first cuts on my face. Then he put me back down there. It was too small to hold my leg comfortably, and the pain was so bad that he didn't have to bother with the smelling salts.

"Next time he brought me out, he started with the electrical burns. He broke my leg a second time, then used magic to poorly set it. I guess so he could keep breaking it in the same place. He put my feet in water and started electrocuting me as he set up the eye drip. I don't know if the eyes or losing my testicle hurt more."

"Kupo, Seifer. Stop," Serino said quietly.

"I need to," he whispered. "I changed, you know? You can't go through something like that without finding a different place of your brain. I guess maybe I used the pain and the blindness as atonement. I've done a lot of bad shit. Maybe I didn't deserve this, but it was a catalyst. I felt myself die and come back as something different. A person that my mother could have been proud of. A person I could be proud of. That you could be proud of, Squall."

"I'm already proud of you."

"I wish you hadn't killed Astor. I wish I hadn't killed all those people for Irvine. Or for Ultimecia."

Squall gave Seifer's cheek a clumsy, closed-mouth kiss. It was the strongest Squall had ever heard Seifer say her name before.

"I guess, in a way, I should thank Astor for purging Ultimecia from my system." Seifer squeezed Squall's hand tight. "I'm sorry for getting mad at you in Balamb, Kitten. It's just you spoke a lot of truth. I just didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to know that I couldn't swoop in and save you. I guess there are some things about me that nothing can change, huh?" He smiled bitterly, his scars stretching. "It made me realize that I might be stuck like this forever."

"You won't be."

"What if this new Seifer fucks up his life like the old Seifer?" Tears trickled from his milky eyes, stinging and burning them. He let out a small sob and tried to cover it up. But he couldn't stop and started weeping. He felt Squall's arms come around him and felt Serino's fur against the side of his neck. It actually felt really good to cry over it, to let out the poison.

"If I can start over, I know you can," Squall mumbled, his own tears mingling with Seifer's. "And we'll start over together."