Chapter 18
It took two months for the first hearing of Xu's trial to take place. It was only an arraignment and a laying down of charges and opening statements. Nobody knew exactly how the defence attorney would try to justify Xu's actions, but Seifer felt certain it would involve a lot of blaming him. Luckily, the three of them hadn't had to say anything. He didn't even want to go, but they needed to show a face of solidarity against her. He just felt lucky he hadn't been able to see her.
But, after today, maybe that would change. Maybe at her next tribunal date, set for just over two months from today, he'd have to look in her eyes and see all her cold hatred. Or, after today they'd realize the damage to his eyes went deeper than his corneas. Tiernan would realize he'd be mistaken, and Seifer would have to live with the realization that he'd be blind for the rest of his life. He'd never see a sunrise. He'd never see the ocean. He'd never see Squall's face.
Right now everything looked blacker than it had through the milky blindness. He couldn't tell if he could actually see from behind the bandages. He'd just woken up from a nap, and could sense Squall nearby.
"Tiernan's coming in soon to take the bandages off," Squall whispered in his ear. He still spoke carefully, even though he'd had the jaw wires removed a week earlier.
"What if...?"
"He said the operation went fine, remember?" Quistis pointed out, looking up from her knitting.
"I've lost track of how many surgeries I've had that he said went fine," Seifer muttered angrily. He liked Tiernan a lot, and enjoyed the dinners they all had together as a family - he, Squall, Quistis, Laguna, Ellone and her husband, Ward and his wife, and Kiros and Tiernan, but he kind of didn't ever want to see him in a hospital setting ever again.
He didn't even want to think about his eventual testicular implant surgery, probably in the somewhat near future. He knew the recovery for that one wouldn't be fun, and he'd finally stopped having genital pain, but it would be nice to actually have sex with Squall again. He'd never complain about sucking Squall's dick all the time or using toys on his boyfriend, but he missed getting hard himself.
"What?" Squall asked, seeing Seifer grinning.
"Nothing," he teased.
"Something dirty, obviously," Quistis said. She smirked, but it turned bittersweet, and she was glad only Squall could see it. She still hadn't made a decision about Nida or Jurgen. The first time she'd seen Nida since he almost killed her had been at Xu's hearing. They'd had an awkward conversation where they'd barely been able to meet each other's eyes, and hadn't said anything deeper than "how are you?" She'd felt Jurgen watching them the entire time, but he hadn't approached her.
"Oh Hyne, Quisty. Just pick one. Your yearning-filled silences are getting old."
Quistis glared at Seifer, and knew he could 'feel' it. "It's not that easy."
"I don't know what Jurgen looks like, but he sounds hot. I wonder if he'll look like how I pictured him." The only thing he knew was the colour of Jurgen's eyes.
"Oh, you won't be looking at him," Squall teased, though he was a little serious. Jurgen was pretty hot after all, and there was that whole appeal of a man in uniform. "And don't just choose someone because of what someone else says."
Quistis opened her mouth to tell them both to just drop it already, but she silenced herself when she saw Tiernan coming through the glass viewing window.
"How are you feeling?" Tiernan asked impassively, shooing Squall away so he could pull back Seifer's sheet and have a look at his leg. "Any headaches?"
"Besides the one from annoyance? No."
"Squall, can you dim the lights please?" Tiernan asked. "Lower... okay, that's good." The room now was almost dark, save the barest ambient, soft light. "You ready?"
"How long will I have to live like a vampire for?" Seifer asked as he felt Tiernan's fingers gently pressing against the gauze, checking for swelling around his eyes.
"A week, a little more for harsh lights or really bright sunshine. I'll be giving you some drops too, that you'll have to use every four hours for the first few days. And I mean that."
"I know," Seifer grumbled. "Tiernan...?"
"Yes?" He pulled out a blunt pair of surgical scissors.
"Um..." He bit his lip, feeling an embarrassed flush enter his cheeks. "Is it okay if Squall does it?" He really wanted Squall's face to be the first thing he saw with new eyes.
Tiernan smiled. "Okay." He waited for Squall to wash his hands, then handed him the scissors. "Cut into them along his temple. Be careful."
"Whatever," Squall muttered, gently pushing the blunt tip under the gauze bandages. His own cheeks felt hot with blush, too. He felt very flattered, and extremely loved, to be given such an honour, but it was still embarrassing to have Seifer say it in front of Tiernan.
When he made the first snip, Seifer's hand scuttled across the bed and found Squall's knee. Squall could feel how nervous Seifer was from that shaky, desperate touch. He snipped again, and then a third time. The gauze broke apart, and Squall looked to Tiernan, who nodded. He started to gently pull the tape away that held the gauze to Seifer's face.
"Keep your eyes closed at first," Tiernan instructed gently as Squall rolled the gauze away, then gingerly took the pads off each eye. Seifer's eyes moved under his closed lids, and he suppressed a gasp when Squall's hand covered his own.
"Okay," Squall whispered. "Open them."
Seifer did slowly, squinting as the light, even limited light like this, hit his sensitive eyes. He could see the highlights of Squall's face, and his eyes shining. He let out a breath as his eyes adjusted, and he saw Squall again. It seemed like a lifetime since he'd last looked in those stormy blue eyes, so like the cold Trabian seas. Squall's face had always been burned in his memory, but he studied it all over again, letting his new corneas get as drenched in Squall's presence as the rest of him. His hair looked very auburn in this light, and he had a new, small scar at the corner of his perfect, sensual mouth. He looked better than anything Seifer's memory had been able to give him.
Seifer drank in his mouth, his cheekbones, the way the curve of his neck disappeared into his shirt. The way his lips turned up in that unsure, dorky little smile that Seifer found so adorable. The way he could look at Seifer and make him feel the way nobody else could, whether good feelings or bad. Nobody could get him as angry as Squall with a simple look. Nobody could make him as impatient as Squall with a single roll of those cold blue eyes. Nobody could make his blood run like Squall. Nobody could make him feel as alive with one simple gaze.
"Hi, Kitten..." He whispered, reaching up to touch that face. "Long time no see."
Squall frowned. "Not funny." He thought of the first time Seifer had seen him naked, how scrutinized and shy he'd felt. He had the same feeling now - being so thoroughly examined. But he also never felt so important.
"All right," Tiernan said, cupping Seifer's face and tilting it towards him. "Any headaches."
Seifer's eyes still went towards Squall. "God, no."
"Eyes here." Tiernan pulled out a pen light. "This might hurt a little." He briefly flashed the light in Seifer's eyes to check on pupil dilation. Seifer flinched and blinked several times, the light flashing in his gaze even when he closed his eyelids.
"Dilation is good. Now, you have to promise you'll tell me if headaches start forming, if you suddenly have loss of vision, or if you're having problems seeing things faraway, or reading. But, we're not going to try reading for a week or two." He put a bottle of drops on the table beside the bed. "No television or anything with an LED screen, either. No cell phones, no mp3 players, all right?"
"Okay." Seifer would have abided by a lot more requests. Seeing Squall again put him over the moon. He tore his eyes away from his boyfriend and focused on Quistis, who beamed at him, eyes glistening with unshed tears behind her eyeglasses. "Instructor Trepe, you look awful."
"Oh, very nice!" She shook her head at him, but then they shared a grin and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. He stroked her hair, then pulled back so he could search her eyes.
"I have some more good news," Tiernan said, grinning.
"Which would be...?" Seifer asked when his doctor left him in annoying suspense.
"Your cast can come off today. I'm going to put a brace on your leg, but the bone has healed sufficiently enough that you should start using the leg again.
"Seriously?" Seifer asked.
"You'll have to use crutches, and I'd still keep the wheelchair handy in case you get really sore, but if things go well in physiotherapy, you can move up to a cane within a few weeks."
"I can?" Seifer asked, feeling overwhelmed. In the back of his head, he'd kind of resigned himself to the fact that he'd somehow be crippled forever by what Astor had done, and in turn would give Astor the victory he'd wanted.
"Can you two wait outside while I do one last exam?" Tiernan asked, though it wasn't really a question.
Squall looked over his shoulder the entire way out of the room, his and Seifer's eyes trained on each other like magnets. As soon as he came out, he came face-to-face with Laguna, who'd been waiting outside with Serino perched on his shoulder. A moogle seemed perfectly at home on Laguna's shoulder. Actually, if Laguna walked around with an entire flock of faeries, moogles and a herd of unicorns, it wouldn't have seemed that odd.
"What happened?" Laguna asked, looking at Squall worriedly.
"Huh?" Squall realized he was crying, and hastily wiped out the tears. He hated that he was crying at all, let alone in front of Laguna. "He's fine."
"Good!" Laguna exclaimed while Serino peeped happily. He grabbed Squall and brought him into a crushing hug that hurt his newly healed ribs before his son could protest. It jostled Serino from his perch, so he flew into Quistis's arms, grinning in a way that made Quistis want to coo like a little girl. "Really? He can see?"
"Yes," Squall said. He didn't reciprocate the hug, but he didn't pull away, either. He liked being hugged by his father, but couldn't bridge the gap to actually hugging him back yet. Only Seifer and Quistis got that honour.
"I'm so glad!" Laguna patted Squall's cheek. "We're going to have a celebration."
"Wait..."
"We'll go out to a nice restaurant."
"Laguna, no." Squall held up his hands. It would be easier to stop a train than to stop Laguna's enthusiasm when he got on a tangent. "Seifer can't go out in bright light for a while. And his leg is going to be really weak."
"Oh." His face fell. Unlike Squall, he showed every emotion on his face. "Well, let's have a nice dinner in, and I won't take no for an answer, all right? All right?"
"Fine!" Squall exclaimed. "Sheesh. Just please, please don't go overboard."
"Who, me?"
Quistis grinned at Laguna and Squall's interaction. They seemed more like father and son every day. She suddenly felt someone's eyes on her, and blinked in surprise when she saw Nida hovering in the hallway near the nurse's station.
"Nida!" Laguna exclaimed loudly enough that all of them flinched. He was oblivious, yet again, to what people wanted. Nida hovered because he hadn't wanted attention drawn to himself. Too late for that. Squall looked at him with barely contained murder, but Quistis's emotionless reaction was the one he cared about. He knew he deserved to feel under the microscope. He knew he deserved Squall's anger, and he couldn't imagine the shame he'd feel when he eventually came face-to-face with Seifer. But Quistis's blank stare... he didn't know what to do.
Serino made a quiet peep as he felt Quistis's discomfort. It made her aura shadowy and cool compared to the silver warmth he was used to from her. Squall radiated violence, and even Laguna's unflappable gold aura started to grow uneasy. "Nida..." She murmured, his name tasting familiar and sensual and cold like ashes on her tongue.
"Can we... talk, or something?" He asked, crossing his skinny arms, as if he could try to hide himself.
"No," Squall answered.
"Yes," Quistis said firmly, not looking at her dearest friend. "Just go back and be with Seifer, Squall."
"Quisty."
"Now," she said with firmness that hadn't been in her voice for a while. She sounded like the prodigy SeeD, the youngest instructor at Garden, the woman who'd had the Trepies hang off her every word before she'd let her confidence be shattered by self-doubt. "We'll go someplace private." She gestured for Nida to go on ahead, squeezing one of Serino's paws to silently ask him to stay. Maybe she didn't actually want complete privacy with Nida. Maybe Serino's nutty-scented fur would ground her.
They wound up in a small break room used for family members of long-term care patients. The smell of old coffee, cleaning products and despair hung in the room. Nida slowly lowered himself onto a vinyl bench, the fabric creaking under him.
Quistis also sat, her fingers curled into Serino's fur. Maybe she shouldn't have asked Squall to leave them alone...
"I'm sorry... about that guy. Jurgen, right?"
Quistis nodded once.
Nida kept looking down. "He saved my life. I was told that he's a friend of yours."
She nodded again. "Yes..." She choked out.
Nida finally looked up at her. His eyes looked so haunted, but he still looked at her like he could see parts of her that nobody else, not even Squall or Seifer, could see. "More than a friend?"
"I..." Serino chirped because she squeezed him a bit too hard. "I don't know," she admitted. She couldn't look him in the eyes when she said it.
"I know I can't be jealous, especially of a guy who saved your life, and never shot your best friend, and never slept with a woman who destroyed you. But, I..." He didn't know if he could say 'love' to her right now.
"She would have gotten you one way or another."
"I wanted to save you."
"You saved Seifer... I mean, it was you, wasn't it? You did send that email, right?" She asked desperately.
"Yeah."
"I knew it!" Quistis exclaimed lowly. The flash in Nida's dark, haunted eyes caused heat to rise to her cheeks. She ignored the urge to look away and make things more awkward, and instead kept staring into Nida's eyes. "I knew you did. Even when Squall said you didn't."
"I don't blame Squall for hating me."
"I don't think he hates you."
"Really?" Nida asked darkly. "He has every right to."
"I don't think Squall cares about anyone other than Seifer right now."
Nida was silent for a long time. "So... um. What now?"
Quistis opened her mouth to reply, but this was the moment where she decided to look away. She couldn't answer Nida with any surety. How could she be sure about what she wanted? How could she just drop everything that grew with Jurgen, just because she finally found out the truth about Nida? How could she just turn her back on a man who gave up his freedom, and nearly his life, to keep her safe? How could she look into Nida's eyes again, knowing that he had sex with Xu? How could she let Jurgen hold her when she had feelings still inside her for Nida? Serino peeped on her shoulder, feeling her conflict.
"I can't give you that answer, Nida."
"I'll wait. Even if the answer is something I don't want to hear. I'll wait." He rose to his feet with a weariness that aged him decades. "Can you please tell Seifer...?"
"Tell him what?" Quistis asked carefully. She wanted to ask Nida to stay, to put his hand on top of hers and give her a sign of love and comfort because she suddenly felt so alone and lonely. She wanted him to leave as quickly as possible because she saw Xu when she looked in his eyes. She saw him alive, and Jurgen in a coma. She saw Jurgen, knowing she had feelings for Nida, risking everything to help her, anyway.
"Fuck," he breathed out. "It doesn't matter. It would never be enough of an apology."
"Xu destroyed his body." She didn't plan on it to sound as mean as it did, but surprised herself when she meant it. Her feelings about Nida may have been conflicted, but her love and loyalty for Seifer weren't.
Nida looked away, shame reddening his face. "I did to," he said as he turned away from her. "I should probably get back to the addict wing now."
She watched as he left, but didn't try to call him back.
"I don't envy you right now, kupo."
"I guess if Jurgen doesn't wake up, I won't have much of a decision to make." Quistis barely recognized her own voice when she said it.
Rinoa angrily tore at the piece of paper in front of her. She was at Odine's labs, doing some exercise for the scientist. He wanted her to document her magical sensations. 'For prosperity', as he called it. She wondered if he actually got pleasure at night from reading it, though.
"Sorcerezz Rinoa!" Odine exclaimed, exasperated. "You are not concentrating!"
"I have a lot on my mind," she answered wearily. She was normally very polite with Odine, but today she couldn't hide some of the waspish snap to her words. She didn't care much for the man, but she didn't treat him with the same venom that Laguna did. Today she kind of wanted to, though.
A ripple of anger went through her as she thought of Raijin. Again. It caused a jolt of magic to pulse through her, and she felt tingling in her back when her wings briefly flashed visible. "I'm finished for today, Odine."
"But, Rinoa...!"
"I'll come back next week," she said before he could start on a long protest. She rose to her feet, looking down at the table. It was littered with torn bits of paper, her handwriting broken between each piece.
Her writing hadn't been about what her magic made her feel. It had been several drafts of a letter to Raijin. He'd been trying to work things out with Dollet TV and Tia. He texted her often, and things were keeping him there longer than he expected. He was vague about his girlfriend, or whatever she was to him, but Rinoa felt certain she knew what he really was saying, but just couldn't because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. He was going to stay with Tia. She'd let herself feel for another man whose heart couldn't be touched.
Rinoa walked down the halls of Odine's labs towards the blue brightness of Esthar, and was so concentrated on her bitterness that she didn't notice Quistis at first. The blonde woman sat in one of the waiting chairs, her eyes trailing Rinoa. The dark-haired woman stopped, did a double-take, and backed up a few steps.
"Hello," Quistis greeted.
"Quistis?" Rinoa asked, a little surprised. "What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you," she answered honestly, rising to her feet.
Rinoa's anger left her, and was replaced by confusion. "Really?" In the past couple of months, she'd had polite conversations with Quistis, and they tried to get back a semblance of a friendship, but Quistis hadn't come just to see her. "You alone?"
"Yes. Seifer's in physio, and Squall won't leave his side for anything. I needed to get out of the hospital." Quistis was sick and tired of hospitals. And it didn't help that Nida and Jurgen were both so close whenever she was there. It had been three days since her conversation with Nida, and she still felt in complete limbo. "You wanna go have some coffee or something?" She asked uncertainly.
"Really?" Rinoa breathed out. "Yes, of course!"
Rinoa's delight couldn't help but make Quistis smile. She debated leaving as she sat there waiting for Rinoa's session with Odine to finish up. Was she ready to have time alone with the other woman? She supposed she sought out Rinoa because she didn't want something else in her life that was hanging in the balance. She had enough of that with Nida and Jurgen.
"How'd the session go?" Quistis asked as they slowly walked down the promenade towards a cluster of restaurants, cafes and fashionable shops.
"He always wants me to write down what I'm feeling. It's like going to a psychiatrist, except I don't feel like it's helping me," Rinoa admitted. It felt so good to talk to someone else, especially Quistis. She'd been spending the last couple of months mostly by herself. "How's Seifer doing, really? Whenever I see him, he says he's fine, but you know how he can be..."
"He's really doing okay." She knew exactly what Rinoa meant. Seifer hated admitting weakness. "Frustrated, of course."
"Yeah, he always has been so fit and athletic. It must be hard to not be able to go back out exploring."
Quistis grinned. "Sexually frustrated, too." The smile wilted a little as she wondered how Rinoa would handle even a mention of Squall and Seifer's sex life, or current lack of it.
"Because of the painkillers, right?" Rinoa asked, surprising the other woman. "Don't worry," she added, catching the look. "I know that they have sex, Quisty. Um... I mean Quistis. Sorry."
"Wait." Quistis stopped and reached out for Rinoa's arm to stop her too. Rinoa's skin felt warm from her recent magic use. "Rinoa... you don't need to keep apologizing to me. Yeah, it hurt that you didn't believe in us. It hurt fucking bad. It hurt that you thought that I was screwing Squall behind your back. It hurt that you didn't think I'd honour our friendship before some guy, even if that guy is my best friend. But I can't make you culpable forever. You shouldn't have to try to make it up to me every day of your life. There's a point where you just have to let it go."
"I am sorry, though."
"I did lie to you about Squall."
"I wish you'd told me, but I know why you didn't." Rinoa brushed her cheeks, sensing tears on them. "I really miss you."
Quistis smiled softly as they started walking again.
"How's Nida?"
Quistis stiffened. "Fine, I guess."
"Sorry," Rinoa apologized quickly. "Don't want to talk about him or Jurgen?"
Quistis shrugged. "It seems like they're all I've been thinking about."
"Tell me about Jurgen," Rinoa said as they stopped at a café and waited in line. "What's he like?"
"Not like Nida," Quistis answered, scanning the menu. "I mean, I suppose they're alike in some things, but Jurgen goes about things differently. Very... military."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Peppermint cappuccino, please. And a cherry bran muffin," Quistis ordered. She turned back to Rinoa. "No. He's very even-tempered, and his eyes..."
"Decaf mocha and a blueberry scone," Rinoa ordered. She held up her hand when Quistis reached into her white leather purse for her wallet. "This is on me. And, don't argue because I've got a lot of pent-up angry magic today." Rinoa reached into her own purse and slid some gil across the counter. "Yeah, I've noticed that. Gorgeous, and not just his eyes, either."
"He helped me without question. He never treated me as delicate, even when I was. He risked himself to help me for no other reason than he cared about me, in whatever context it meant at the time. He even risked his own life to save Nida's, knowing full well that I had feelings for him."
The women took their orders and found a small table near the café's fireplace. "I've had a crush on Nida for so long. When I think about Jurgen, I kinda feel like I'm cheating on Nida with him. And when I think of Nida, I think of him having sex with Xu," Quistis said frankly. She looked at Rinoa for a few beats. Rinoa's dark eyes were full of sympathy. Quistis didn't realize until now how much she missed having a female friend. Squall and Seifer were the two most important people in her life, but she did crave that girl-time. She wondered why she let herself stay so angry? Why did she let herself cling to the past for so long?
"He did it to save you, right?"
"He still did it."
"Do you... No, never mind."
Quistis narrowed her cobalt eyes, regarding Rinoa over the rims of her glasses. "Go on."
"You never wanted to be with him because you didn't want to hurt your friendship with Xu. Was that the only reason?"
"I felt very loyal to Xu," Quistis answered defensively. She tore off a bit of her muffin with more force than needed. "She was my best friend."
"I know," Rinoa said softly, eyes downcast. "But maybe, deep down, you knew you didn't want to be with him?"
"I wanted to be with him so badly."
"Sorry. I guess I'm just projecting what happened with me and Squall. Or what's happening with me and Raijin."
"What?"
"Me and Raijin... we... I dunno. I guess we have feelings for each other."
"I kind of noticed, but I didn't know it progressed into a relationship."
"It didn't. He went back to Dollet to work on that TV thing, and Tia is there. He texts all the time, but... I think he just doesn't want to hurt my feelings, and he's worked things out with her."
"You shouldn't assume. It's not always right," Quistis said darkly.
Rinoa flushed.
"I'm sorry."
"I deserved it," the Sorceress said. "Well, what about you, then? You kept saying you were going to let go of the past. Does that mean you're going to let go that Nida slept with Xu, or does that mean you're going to let go of Nida to be with Jurgen?"
Quistis opened her mouth, but nothing came out. "What I felt for Nida was... it consumed me. Jurgen is... I don't even know. I want to get to know him. I've already had that history with Nida. The idea of Jurgen kissing me makes my blood run. One long look from Nida's eyes halted me in my tracks. I just don't know."
Rinoa reached into her purse and pulled out an Estharian silver coin gil. "Flip for it."
"Are you serious?" Quistis blew on her cappuccino and gave Rinoa an incredulous gaze.
"Absolutely. Heads for Jurgen, tails for Nida." Rinoa rolled the coin in her fingers and over her knuckles, her sorcery making the metal dance. "See, it's not a trick coin or anything." One side featured the Presidential Palace, the other a Chocobo in profile.
"You seriously want me to flip for who I'm giving my heart to?"
"You can't make up your mind, right?" There was a dark glint in Rinoa's eyes. A challenge.
Quistis made an impatient, disgusted noise. " ...Whatever."
Rinoa chuckled to herself and tossed the coin, catching it gracefully in her left hand. But she didn't open it.
"Well?" Quistis asked with a sarcastic flourish of her hand. Deep inside, she shivered with curiosity and anticipation that she didn't want Rinoa to see. Considering the playful triumph written there, Quistis had failed.
Rinoa opened her fist and peeked at the coin, and then looked at Quistis's face. "You want it to be one over the other, don't you?"
"What...?"
"You're hoping, deep down, that it's heads or tails more than the other one."
Quistis blinked and sat back in her chair. "Hyne..."
"You should know me enough by now that I wouldn't leave such an important life choice to the flip of a measly gil. But I have learned from experience that sometimes you have to let your head get out of the way of your heart."
"Like right now with Raijin?" Quistis asked, still looking at Rinoa's fist. What had the coin said? She knew that Rinoa was right. She was hoping that it was one over the other. What if she'd listened to the coin, and she'd wound up with the wrong choice? She felt foolish and indecisive.
"Touché."
"Look... is it okay if we cut this short?"
"You gotta go to the hospital?" Rinoa asked, sipping her mocha with a grin.
"Yeah. I know that it wasn't much time to spend together..."
"It was more than worth it," Rinoa said before Quistis could finish. "Tell Seifer I said hello." She didn't even know what to tell Squall, so she just left him out.
"I will." As Quistis walked past, she squeezed Rinoa's shoulder. It wasn't the hug they would have shared before all the mess happened, but it warmed Rinoa's heart and rippled the magic in her body.
Rinoa decided to stay behind a few minutes longer. She pulled out her cell phone and re-read through all of Raijin's texts as she munched hungrily on her scone. As she used her magic more often, she found she could pack away the food without abandon. She worried about getting fat and looking like a pig, but Raijin would always chuckle and say it was oddly endearing.
Raijin... She may have thought he was still with Tia and just trying to be polite, but she'd kept every single text. Now, she wondered if she was just being afraid and remembering how things happened with Squall.
"Raijin's not Squall," she whispered to herself as she dialled Raijin's number, checking her watch to see what time it would be in Dollet. Late, but not so late that, being a night owl, he'd be asleep.
"Rinoa, ya know?" Raijin's voice greeted. It shot even more warmth through her, centred in different parts of her body than from Quistis's touch. "Is everything okay?" Traffic noise whizzed past in the background on his end.
"Everything's fine."
"Whew!" He exclaimed. "It's just that you never call this late here, ya know? I don't mind, though!" She heard the relief in his voice.
"I didn't mean to scare you."
"I'm not scared. Just... well, I kinda thought you were mad at me. I've called a few times, but you never picked up."
"I know. I was kinda angry with you."
"What'd I do?" He asked. She heard background noise as he moved around. The traffic background quieted and she heard a door closing.
"Nothing, really. Just... I guess I was maybe reading things into your text messages that weren't there."
"Like what?"
"That were trying to let me down easy, that you still love Tia."
"Huh? I just... I guess I didn't want to talk about that kind of stuff over texts, ya know? Seems kinda personal for it. Maybe I should have been more blunt or something. Fujin and Seifer are always telling me I'm too obtuse, ya know?"
Rinoa smiled, feeling stupid. "How would you like a visitor?"
"What, here?"
"You don't want me to come?"
"Of course I do, ya know? It's just... don't you have to be in Esthar for your sessions with Odine?"
"He'll wait," she said, slowly opening her fist to look at the coin. "I could teleport there right now. And we could talk about things that are too personal for text messages."
"Serious?" Raijin asked, voice lowering an octave.
"Serious."
"Well, my hotel room's kinda a mess, and you should probably at least bring an overnight bag."
"I can buy whatever I need there." The warmth flooded through all of her until she couldn't feel her legs. She hadn't felt this kind of rush in a really long time.
"Okay," Raijin breathed, his voice giving away that he was feeling the exact same things she was.
"See you soon." She hung up and started to center her magic as she walked out of the café. She pocketed the silver gil, liking that the coin picked the right side. As her angel wings popped from her back and her body began to vanish from Esthar, she hoped that Quistis would follow the decision that she knew was right, too.
Seifer grimaced as he adjusted his weight in the therapeutic hot tub. He tried to hide it as Squall lowered his deliciously naked body into the big tub next to him.
"Sore?" Squall asked, wet and naked skin rubbing against Seifer's.
"Dammit," Seifer breathed out. "Can't hide anything from you. It was just a hard session. That's all."
"Sure?" Squall used his hand to scoop some water up and let it run down the back of Seifer's neck. The touch made Seifer's heart pound, but his genitals still remained unresponsive.
"Yeah." With his mind on pills, Seifer looked carefully into his lover's eyes. He looked perfectly sober. A day earlier, he'd been weaned off his painkillers to a much smaller dose, and Seifer had that gnawing fear in the back of his mind that he'd start to see Squall slipping. He hoped his lover didn't see the tiny lie, that he'd stopped taking his own pain medication. He hated being dependant on it, and he really wanted to have his dick back and functioning.
"I know you hate physio and you're in a lot of pain afterwards, but I like watching you," Squall admitted, wrapping an arm around Seifer's waist under the hot water. "You get all hot and sweaty and determined. Not even a bomb could stop you."
"You're a freak," Seifer said with affection. It would take a while for the painkillers to work out of his system, so he just had to grin and bear it. Which was especially difficult in times like this, with Squall next to him and smelling so good, looking inviting and oddly vulnerable with his wet hair slicked off his face. The wet erection pressing against Seifer's hip also didn't help matters.
"I've got a surprise," Squall whispered into his ear, nibbling on his lobe.
"I can feel that," Seifer replied lightly, though his eyes darkened with lust.
Squall shook his head, grinning slightly. He looked into Seifer's face, stroking his cheeks and then tracing a line down between his dark gold eyebrows where his scar used to be before the skin grafts. The scar Squall had given him. He found he actually missed it. "No. An outing."
"Like where?" Seifer asked a little cautiously. He didn't know if he wanted to really be out in public with his crutches, having people staring and whispering behind their hands about him.
"Out into the Abadan Plains. I rented a truck, and we can go look at Malboros."
"Really?" Seifer breathed, momentarily stunned. The idea of going out and studying animals seemed like such a distant dream, someone else's life. It deeply touched him that Squall would offer something so important to him that he'd thought he'd lost. But then he remembered the crutches and the pain and how slowly he moved, and his surprised smile faded.
"Don't you fucking dare look defeated," Squall said. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Seifer's, the water sloshing around their entwining bodies. "Haven't you always wanted to study Behemoth mating practices?"
Seifer gave a lopsided grin and ran his hands up Squall's back. "Wait... neither of us can drive right now. Is Quisty coming too?"
"I can drive."
"Your license was revoked, remember? Well, I guess maybe you don't remember..."
Squall made an irritated noise and popped Seifer in the shoulder. "Don't be a wet blanket."
"Pfft. Mr. Pot, have you met Mr. Kettle?"
"You're telling me that the Seifer Almasy who snuck out of Garden on a nightly basis to make out with a buff, grungy garage mechanic is going to get all shirty about the status of my driver's license?"
"Maybe I think you deserve the punishment."
"Maybe I think it, too," Squall said, frowning. "But, I just really want to be alone with you."
"Okay," Seifer said, against his better judgment. He studied Squall's face with a scrutiny heightened by regained eyesight. He needed to burn every pore, scar, hair follicle and curve into his brain. He touched the jugular pulse in Squall's neck, and watched as blood slowly fed into his cheeks in the form of a blush.
"You ever think about marriage?" Seifer asked suddenly. The question surprised even him, because it's not like he'd been thinking about it or anything.
"In general, or to you specifically?"
"Well, whatever, I suppose." Seifer shrugged. "You must have thought about it while with Rinoa. I'm sure she brought it up."
"Yeah. I dunno. It seemed kinda stupid to think about getting married before I even turned 20. Are you asking?" Squall asked carefully.
"Just curious."
"I think it has the ability to change people," Squall answered seriously. "You expect people to enact certain social roles."
"You, or 'you' as in society? You're giving me broad answers instead of telling me how you really feel," Seifer said. "Don't pull that with me."
"Why can't things stay the way they are now?" Squall asked defensively.
"You think we'd change?"
"How many couples have said they won't, and they totally do? How many thought they'd be together until death, and broke up a year later?"
"Kiros and Tiernan have been together a long time. It can work, and it can work between two men."
"Maybe they're the exception. Besides, we haven't really had much time to just be lovers." Squall carefully moved himself into Seifer's lap. "Isn't that enough?"
"Of course it is," Seifer whispered, voice catching at Squall's closeness.
Squall's eyes clouded. "I didn't mean to disappoint you."
"I'm not."
Squall just continued to stare at him.
Seifer let out his breath in resignation. He and Squall couldn't hide from each other. "It's hard to let go of those romantic dreams sometimes."
"It doesn't mean I don't love you." Squall flushed at the usage of those completely charged words.
Seifer cupped the sides of Squall's face and firmly pulled him in for a kiss. Squall let out a hitched gasp, the water around them causing it to echo. Squall's erection pressed up against his body and made his nerves sing.
"Fuck me," Seifer whispered into Squall's mouth, words slurred by the tangling of their tongues.
"What?" Squall breathed as Seifer's mouth ravaged down the front of his throat.
"Fuck me," Seifer demanded again, hips instinctively arcing up against Squall's for the friction.
"But..." Some of the lust went out of Squall's voice. "You can't get hard."
"There's nothing wrong with my asshole," Seifer said frankly. He'd thought of asking every moment since he woke up in the Estharian hospital, but today was the first day that Seifer felt like his body could handle prolonged sex. He'd spent hours mapping out the logistics, thinking of various positions that wouldn't hurt him. But even the tamest somehow put either his own weight or Squall's weight down on his leg, or had him moving it in some awkward position that just seemed dangerous.
"I may not get hard," Seifer said when he saw the doubt in Squall's face. "But I still want it." He dug his fingers into his flesh, above his heart, gripping Squall's face when the other man tried to look away and protest. "I can still feel it."
"Your leg, though..."
"Please," Seifer asked. Begged.
Squall's own willpower weakened to the point of non-existence, even in the face of his concern about the precariousness of Seifer's healed leg. "You have to promise to tell me if you feel any kind of pop or twinge, though." Squall looked sternly into the other man's eyes, even while his hand slid between Seifer's thighs and up underneath his healing scrotum to touch his taint. Seifer gasped, water sloshing around him as he gently arched into the touch.
Rather than leaning in for a kiss, Squall watched Seifer's face. It seemed like a lifetime ago that they'd last had sex. Maybe it had been. They'd been two different people then. Recent events had changed their lives, and their selves, forever. But each time Squall seemed to find himself changed from some life experience, Seifer was there, either beside him or across the line from him. But still always there. Squall ran his free hand up Seifer's ravaged leg, feeling the scarring crisscrossing among the musculature. The love he felt in that instant debilitated him to the point of physical pain.
Seifer saw the look in Squall's eyes, but didn't say anything. He could have said 'I love you', or 'I love you, too', but words seemed to ineffective. Too small. They couldn't describe what passed between the two men, and never could. Seifer used his strong arms to slowly vault himself out of the tub and up to the wide lip, the rosewood deck around the therapeutic tub warm against his back when he reclined, his damaged leg still dangling in the hot water. Squall followed, standing between Seifer's legs.
He bowed forward and licked down Seifer's jugular vein, which jumped and sped up under the warmth of his tongue. His body screamed for further contact, and his cock felt harder than it had in recent memory. He started to pull away to search for some sort of lubricant, but the look in Seifer's eyes said 'don't you fucking dare', so Squall sucked on two of his fingers and quickly pressed them into Seifer's body. Seifer moaned and arched up, moving his good leg so Squall's hips were pressed flush against his pelvis.
He reached up and gripped Squall's wet hair and pulled him in for a kiss that was both loving and forceful, punishing and gentle. Squall's mouth was wet and hot and familiar. He could feel Squall's erection rubbing between his legs and against his anus, then his hand as he used more spit as lubricant.
When Squall slowly entered him, Seifer's breath caught in his throat, not wanting to escape. It, like the rest of his being, wanted to stay in this one perfect moment forever. He loved Squall so much and felt so transported in this moment. Squall moaned into the side of his neck and started with slow thrusts, which quickly became fast and full of passionate abandon, nearly pulling out and then straining his hips until his pubic hair pressed against Seifer's skin. Seifer loved these moments with Squall, the purest intimacy of them. At the peak of sex, it was one of the few times that Squall Leonhart would completely let himself go. There was no worry, no self-doubt, no addiction, no shyness. Just Squall being free.
Seifer also felt freedom. Oddly, the last time he felt this freedom, he'd been experiencing the worst of pain at the hands of Astor, rather than the greatest of pleasure at the hands of Squall. He felt free of his ruined body, free of his bitterness, fear, cowardice and insecurities. He didn't feel like he was forgetting all the bad shit, but each motion of Squall's hips and each touch from his feverishly warm mouth helped him rise above it. It made him feel alive, and happy to be alive.
Squall licked at the sweat beading on Seifer's neck and chest and that pooled in the hollow of his throat, drinking it like water. As he thrust into the hot tightness of Seifer's rectum, his fingers searched for Seifer's scars, touching them like a relief map. They land-marked the horrors Seifer had survived through. Most of the scars had been earned by saving Squall's life, and some of the older ones were from Squall's own hand or his gunblade. They were also times where Seifer had tried to save Squall's life, to mould him, in his own misguided way. Squall licked at the scars his mouth could reach, and he moaned without restrained when Seifer's rectal muscles coiled around his erection. His hips thrust furiously, not worrying any more about hurting Seifer. If his lover wanted to stop, he'd say so.
Seifer moaned Squall's name, feeling a euphoria the painkillers had never been able to give him. He ran his hands up and down Squall's back, loving the masculinity of his sweat and muscles. "Harder," he demanded, feeling each thrust rushing up his spine in a pleasurable burn. Because his penis couldn't get hard, Seifer noticed all the other sensations in his body with greater clarity. The way his stomach clenched and his heart ached, the way his skin tingled, the way his nerves sang all the way down to the soles of his feet.
He felt Squall touch the scar bisecting his scrotum, where his right testicle had once been. It was the scar he was the most self-conscious of, and Squall's touch drew even more attention to it. Squall felt Seifer tense against him, and his internal muscles clenched, and he knew it was out of fear, out of shame. Squall ran his thumb up and down the scar, cupping Seifer's remaining testicle at the same time. He completely pulled out of Seifer's body, still stroking the scar, and then plunged back into him with one firm thrust. Water sloshed around Squall's legs and caused their moans to echo. Squall took his thumb away from the scar and tugged it up the underside of Seifer's penis. It didn't react to the touch, but Seifer gasped and arched his back, wrapping his good leg around Squall's buttocks.
Squall's hips moved faster as he felt his orgasm nearing. His stomach tightened and his testicles rose up closer to his body. He bowed forward and buried his face in Seifer's chest when the other man's hands gripped his shoulders. Seifer's body jerked and he made uncontrollable noises of urgency and desire as Squall changed the angle of his hips and thrust up against Seifer's prostate. His breathing grew heavier against Squall's temple, and when Squall heard his name delicately whispered into his own hair, it tipped him over the edge. He came into Seifer's body, groaning and making noises he didn't know he was capable of making.
"I missed that," Seifer whispered after their breathing both slowed, sweat drying on their skin and a trickle of Squall's semen drying on Seifer's inner thigh.
Squall grinned into Seifer's chest, his tongue flicking out across one of Seifer's nipples. "Your leg still okay?"
"Everything feels fantastic, including my leg."
"Fantastic enough to go stare at Malboros and Behemoths?"
"Maybe they can observe human mating practices along the way." Seifer grinned, slowly stretching out his bad leg, which still dangled in the hot water. "Or maybe we can pick up a hot garage mechanic on the way out of town."
Squall scowled, which just made Seifer grin broader. "So, we're going, right?" Squall asked, and Seifer was amazed that he could sound both churlish and youthfully hopeful at the same time.
"Yeah, Kitten. We'll go." Any pain that Seifer would feel in his leg would be worth the smile Squall gave him at that statement. The smile made his face, so much like Raine's, look closer to Laguna's. It was crooked and dorky. It was so very earnest and open and sparkling. He opened his mouth to say those three words he'd wanted to say to Squall almost their entire lives, and only just recently got the chance to openly do so.
But, Squall stopped him and said "I love you, too."
Quistis looked up from counting out a stranding chart in her knitting when she heard the rustling of sheets. The hat and mitten set she worked on had a subtle grey on grey colour way, and was done in a traditional Estharian style.
"How long have you been awake?" She asked when she looked down at Nida. His eyes looked calm and alert, definitely not like a man who'd just woken up.
"Twenty minutes, maybe." He grinned sadly. "I just didn't want to interrupt you. I thought you might be a dream."
"If that were the case, I'd be pretty disappointed with my subconscious mind."
"It's like waking up in heaven." Nida reached out and gently touched Quistis's knee. The smile he'd had on his face while watching her knit faded. "That hat looks really nice. It would look really good on a guy with silver eyes."
Quistis slowly lowered the knitting into her lap. "I've been working on these mittens for a few weeks now. I really despise Estharian colour work knitting. It's really finicky and the pattern seems to blur together after a while. I've never actually finished any project in it. But, I haven't given up on this one yet."
"It's because of Xu, isn't it?"
"Only a little bit," Quistis answered. "Nida... I've been so indecisive about this whole thing. Actually, I'm pretty indecisive about everything. It's why I lost my Garden license. It's why I never went after Squall. And, it's because I knew all those things weren't right for me then. Including teaching. I was too young. And... even you. I could have been with you, even back then. But I think I knew we shouldn't. And now..."
"You know you shouldn't," Nida finished. "You've moved on. Are you in love with that Jurgen guy?"
"It's not love yet. But... if I haven't given up on this stupid hat and mittens set... maybe it could be."
"I love you," Nida whispered, trying to hold back the stinging tears that threatened to show themselves.
"I know," she said quietly, leaning forward. "The reason I couldn't make a decision sooner was because I really do care about you." Quistis knew in that moment exactly how Squall had felt when he broke up with Rinoa. "But, it's over." Her voice cracked.
"I know. I still wouldn't change anything, though. Even fucking Xu. It saved your life, so it was worth it."
Quistis's face crumpled and she quickly stuffed her knitting into her bag, rising to her feet. "I wish I didn't have to hurt you."
"I understand. It hurts like hell, but..." He shrugged. "We can still be friends, right?"
"Right," Quistis echoed, smiling dimly. Though they agreed on it, both knew that they'd probably try to meet up for coffee a few times a month, and it would turn to fewer and fewer, until they would only politely chit-chat if they ever met each other again. Even though she hated hurting Nida like this, in the face of the deed, she didn't regret it. Even if she and Jurgen didn't work out, she knew there was now too much baggage between her and Nida for it to be a sustainable relationship. That kind of thing could work for Seifer and Squall, but Quistis knew her self-doubts would eat away at anything good coming out of it.
"He's a lucky man," Nida called to her as she left his hospital room, and it felt like a knife in her back, because she didn't feel like Jurgen would be lucky to have her. She felt like a bitch who just tromped all over Nida's heart.
She quickly made the walk to Jurgen's room, hastily wiping a few tears off her cheeks, and hovered in the door when she saw him sitting up in bed, awake. His eyes were focused on the flat-screen posted on the wall, and she saw the face of one of Esthar's most respected news anchors with the scrolling ticker of text news whizzing by under her picture.
"Why are you just standing there?" Jurgen asked, liquidy grey eyes sliding over to her.
"I..."
"I could smell your perfume." He looked weary, but mentally alert. "You've been crying." He said it very monotonously, but there was a softness around his eyes.
"I just visited Nida."
"How is he?" The dark-haired soldier asked politely.
"Recovering."
The stare Jurgen gave her was careful as she lowered herself into his bedside chair.
"I told him I couldn't be with him because I didn't see a future for us." She fiddled with the bamboo handles on her knitting bag. Jurgen didn't do her any favours by filling the awkward silence. He just watched her with that cool, dismantling stare, his dark lashes intensifying the paleness of his eyes, and only occasionally fluttering in blink. "Which means... you know..."
Jurgen's eyebrows raised a little.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" She exclaimed desperately. "Fine. I can't stop thinking about you. I don't know if it's just allure of the unknown, but... oh, hell. It is because I can't stop thinking about you, and even if this doesn't go anywhere, I want to find that out for myself."
Jurgen grinned.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" She asked again.
"I like hearing you say what you mean, instead of constantly second-guessing yourself."
Quistis let out an exasperated groan, pitching forward until her forehead rested against Jurgen's shoulder. "I really don't need a life lesson right now." She felt his hand come up to touch the back of her head, fingers stroking through her hair.
"I do appreciate it, but what made you think I thought we'd be a good match in the end?"
Quistis stiffened and slowly raised her head to meet Jurgen's gaze, which was when he bowed his own head to press his lips to her own. She kissed him back, and felt him suppress a gasp. When she pulled away, his grey eyes twinkled.
"You're not funny, you know?"
"There is an art to deadpan humour." The merriment dimmed, and he became serious again. "Is Nida going to be okay with this? Are you?"
"I didn't second-guess myself."
"Does that mean I get that second date now?" He opened his hand to her, and she put her own in his palm. When his strong fingers closed around it, warmth flushed through her belly and lower.
"No coffee this time, right?" She put her head back down against Jurgen's shoulder, feeling the scratchiness of his hospital gown against her cheek. They didn't talk any further, but that was okay by Quistis. She felt as safe here as she did with Squall and Seifer, and she just wanted to enjoy that feeling as long as she could.
Serino set his paws on the dashboard as Squall slowed the all-terrain vehicle in the Abadan Plains, peering over the top of a sleeping Bahamut, who'd shrunk himself to the size of a toy in order to fit on the dashboard. He'd been apart from his mistress's son for so long while Seifer had been in the confines of Esthar's magical barriers that when they'd left city limits, Bahamut had streamed to them immediately, just to be near Seifer again.
The truck could take a bomb blast, so they were quite safe, even from Behemoths, but it was still exhilarating and kind of frightening to be close to them. A Behemoth watched the truck with a kind of disdain, and went back to digging in the ground for some reason.
"It's a female," Seifer told them both. Serino chirped with interest, while Squall watched Seifer without a care for the gargantuan animal not even 100 feet away from them. "Females sometimes dig to leave deep scent trails that will last even in the wind storms. She must be nearing rut." He grimaced a little as he adjusted his weight to pull out a pen and notebook.
"Do they eat moogles, kupo?"
"Probably not. You'd just be a fuzzy bon-bon to her."
"Probably, kupo?"
"Well, since you guys are so endangered, it's hard to tell what your natural predators are. You tell me."
"Humans, kupo. Big snakes." A small shudder went through Serino's furry body.
Squall peered briefly at Seifer's notebook, where he drew doodles and made notes about Behemoths and their mating cycles. He'd even written a few lines of dialog, the kind of thing he could say on television to make nature interesting yet educational. Seifer looked tired and weary and thin. He looked completely engrossed and more like himself. Squall's dick twitched in his leather pants just looking at the other man and remembering fucking him in the hot tub. He began to wonder if he could convince Serino to take off for a half-hour and give them some privacy.
His cock felt huge and cumbersome as he started to inch across the seats towards the other man, but stopped when Seifer's head suddenly jerked up, and the tiny version of Bahamut on the dashboard uncurled from his napping position, wings flaring out. The temperature dropped noticeably, and the strong press of magic hung in the air like static electricity.
Serino peeped cautiously, and fluttered down away from the dashboard and into Squall's lap. Luckily, his erection vanished under the strange changes in the air, so he avoided some major awkwardness. Squall called upon Shiva, who was junctioned passively to him. She appeared outside the truck, and Bahamut's tiny form vanished to join her, reappearing outside in full majesty.
"It's okay," Seifer said quietly, talking to Bahamut through their connection. "Stand down."
Shiva looked over her shoulder into the car, and Squall nodded for her to back down as the air before the two Guardian Forces displaced, and Odin appeared in the form of a middle-aged Ivan Blackmoon. He walked past Shiva and Bahamut with black eyes blazing and full of power. Odin stopped in front of Seifer's window and waited patiently for him to roll down the electronic window.
"It's nice to see you well enough to travel."
"What are you doing here?" Seifer asked cautiously. Serino cringed back further against Squall's belly, and Squall glared daggers at the powerful, ethereal swordsman.
"There's an ugly power out here."
"I don't feel anything," Squall said angrily. His eyes burned lasers into Ivan's face, especially when his hands rested on the frame of the open window, very near Seifer. But that wasn't entirely true. Now that he was focused on something other than how much he wanted to have sex with Seifer, he noticed a strange smell in the air. He must have subconsciously chalked it up to the female Behemoth, who ran away as soon as Odin appeared, but it still hung in the air like a ghost.
It smelled of rotten flowers and raw sewage, and Squall shuddered involuntarily. Serino turned his face into Squall's stomach and shivered. Odin's proximity was sucking away the moogle's energy, and he also felt Squall's rising fear and uneasiness.
"Now do you feel it?" Odin asked impassively. He looked amused by Squall's jealousy.
Squall didn't answer, but the feeling and the smell intensified. Squall's scalp itched and shuddered, and it felt like he was choking on rotten flowers and being touched by spectral fingers. Serino shivered uncontrollably in his lap, incapacitated by the ugly shift in the air.
"Feel what?" Seifer asked, getting annoyed.
"You can't feel it because you aren't as tuned to spiritual energy as Squall is."
"What do you feel?" Seifer asked, a little confused.
"Eden..." Squall muttered tensely. He didn't want to open his mouth much because he felt like he was going to throw up. "And a lot of ghostly energy."
Seifer's confused frown deepened. Squall hadn't much discussed his ability to see ghosts with the other man.
"I've been patrolling this area for a few days now," Odin explained. "There's something building here. I followed Luchia Blackwell's energy signature to somewhere in this area, but right now she's beyond my senses. There are anti-magic fields up that block my senses and passage. But, because you are human, perhaps you can feel the energies more strongly than even I can."
"Luchia still has Eden?" Squall asked, eyes darkening in thought. "I can't believe that. She wasn't as power-hungry as Xu. She would have delivered it to someone." Squall scanned the horizon for a potential source of this ugly magic.
"This was one a thriving farming town, but it was destroyed during Adel's regime, along with many towns just like it. You're feeling those ghosts." Odin gestured to a dusty knoll, a mere shadow on the horizon. "The magical barrier is coming from there."
Squall turned on the engine and put the car in drive, heading towards it. Odin disappeared, but Squall was certain that the ethereal swordsman would be waiting for him.
"What are you doing?" Seifer demanded. "You're not seriously thinking of going towards... well, whatever the fuck is going on, are you? Squall?" Seifer said when his boyfriend didn't answer. "Squall."
"We have to."
"No, we don't. Let the Estharian army deal with it."
"How long would that take?" Squall asked, pressing his foot down harder on the accelerator. "Laguna would have to call meetings about it. He can't just deploy the army whenever he wants. Besides, if there's a chance Eden's still around, we could get it back and locked away in magical containment at Odine's lab."
"Yeah, Eden in Odine's hands sounds like a much better idea. Just like the fantastic idea of us going in there alone?"
"No 'us', Seifer."
"Squall..."
"You're too hurt," Squall pointed out logically. "I'm not letting you go in there with me."
"And you think I'm letting you?"
Squall gave Seifer a long, searching look. It was one of those stares where they could say more to each other than they ever could with words. Where Seifer silently warred with Squall, but knew the other man was right. "Fine," he sulked, crossing his arms and turning his face away so he could glare out the window. "But you're getting help."
"I told you, there's no time to call the Estharian army."
"I'm not calling them." Seifer knew he sounded pouty, but didn't care. He pulled out his phone and speed-dialled. "Where are you?" He asked before the other line could even let out a greeting.
"South prefecture," Sol's mechanical voice replied. The masking gave away nothing emotionally, but Seifer was sure Irvine was grinning.
"With Neptune?"
"Neptune?" Squall exclaimed, the knoll coming closer.
"Yeah. Why?"
"Feel like doing some dangerous exploration work, and you can't say no."
"I'd never say no to you," Sol replied. Even the robotic voice couldn't hide Irvine's flirting.
"You called Irvine?" Squall asked after Seifer hung up. His displeasure was evident.
"You're not going in there alone. Who better to watch your back than an assassin?"
"Anybody else." Squall slowed the truck, seeing that the knoll was actually the remains of some sort of building that the land had begun to claim back. He stopped it far enough away that Seifer would be out of reach of whatever magic was going on in there.
"You're not going in until he gets here."
"You don't trust me?" Squall asked, pulling Lionheart from the back seat. Serino fluttered into Seifer's lap, feeling the tall blonde's distress.
"I don't want to lose you."
Squall paused, and tried not to look into Seifer's eyes, because it would make all his resolve vanish. He hopped out of the vehicle's cab with Lionheart pointed down in a defensive position as he made his way towards the knoll.
Seifer watched Squall get smaller and smaller, until he could barely be seen against the knoll, his heart aching. Odin remained behind with him, but kept his distance. Their magical connection told him how mad Seifer was with him at that moment. Seifer pulled out his phone again and started texting furiously.
'Please come back here, Kitten. Reconsider.'
It only took a minute before his phone's screen lit up to show Squall had replied.
'You'd do the same thing.'
Seifer let out his breath, fingers shaking as he texted 'I love you.' Almost immediately, his phone responded, saying that the recipient was out of service range, and the message could not be sent.
Squall slowly made his way down the rotting stone steps within the knoll. The place smelled of must and something fermenting. The area was blockaded against Guardian Forces, but Squall found he could still use magic, so called up a small fire spell to light his way. He knew that he hadn't given Seifer a proper farewell, but he didn't want to lose his resolve. He knew he had to find out what Luchia was up to.
Once he got down the stairs, he saw a great cavernous area looming all around him. There were old, rotten casks and shelves and what looked like some sort of piping system. From the smell, Squall guessed this had once been some kind of winery. It was very cold, and Squall shivered all over, and not just from the chill. He could feel ghostly energy everywhere. He could hear them whispering in his ear, and out of the corners of his vision, he thought he could see people walking about.
The place was full of dark nooks and crannies, so Squall took his time. He couldn't feel where the strongest magical signature was coming from because of all the spiritual interference, so he had to do it the old-fashioned way. The name Penhorn Wineries was etched into the wine casks, and the name struck familiarity in Squall. Penhorn sounded familiar. Maybe Tiernan had mentioned it. Was this the area he'd been from? Had Tiernan grown up here, and watched his family die here at the hands of Adel and her armies?
As Squall moved deeper into the decrepit facility, he felt really stupid. He should have waited for Irvine and Fujin to show up. Hell, he should have done what Seifer said and waited for the Estharian army to come in here. What could he do against Eden? She would have killed him last time if Odin hadn't done something about it.
Squall mentally cast the fire light higher in the air as the smell of the air changed. It smelled less like alcohol and more like a crypt. The temperature dropped again, and now his breath came out in thick white clouds. He came across a room that might have been some sort of boardroom or meeting room when the winery had been up and running. There were figures sitting at the table, and he raised Lionheart, but none of them reacted. The musty smell grew stronger as he stepped into the room, and he saw that the figures at the table were dead. By the looks of them, they seemed mummified, but there was an air of recent movement. Dust on the tabletop was displaced, and candles had been burned here recently.
He cautiously stepped closer to the table, and saw something amazing at the head of the table. He'd recently been reading a history book to Seifer, particularly focusing on Esthar's history at the time of the Dragoons, so Azabaashe's face was embedded in his mind. Though he was mummified, he was very recognizable. Had he and the other men at the table, no doubt his lieutenants, been recently up and moving around? It's true that he'd been a necromancer and had some semblance of control over death, but why would he suddenly drop dead, then? Squall pressed the tip of Lionheart into Azabaashe's chest, and a great chunk of chalky, dusty flesh fell off, leaving a gaping hole in his chest, revealing ashen, mummified organs.
He suddenly felt a presence behind him, and only quick reflexes saved him from getting beheaded. He had Lionheart up quickly, the blade clashing against another sword. The metallic noise echoed throughout the abandoned winery. Squall's heartbeat would have quickened in fear if it weren't already pounding in his chest. The contact also made his arm numb, and not just from the jarring physical contact. It numbed his magical aura, and he couldn't feel his arm as he whirled around to face his assailant. When he saw the other person's face, his eyes grew wide and his lips parted in surprise.
He'd expected to see Luchia again, but she looked so different than he last remembered her. Maybe nothing physical had changed, but something had changed in the core of her. Her electric blue eyes now burned with religious fervour. The smell of sewage and rotten flowers clung to her.
"Leave him," a soft female voice commanded behind them. "I'd like him to witness this."
Luchia stepped to the side to allow Squall to see where the voice came from. She was translucent and ethereal looking, as flimsy as the ghosts Squall kept seeing out of the corners of his eyes. Inhuman, faceless, talking to him from another timescape. Luchia was completely forgotten as he looked at the true form, existing thousands of years in the future, of Ultimecia.