Gave you the space so you could breath
I kept my distance so you could be free
Sam ran a hand through his gelled hair. He sat on the corner of his bed in a dingy flat. It was smaller than a shoebox, but slightly larger than the last place he had stayed undercover. He inspected the dirt beneath his nails, trying to clean them, thinking to himself. It had been 147 days since he had last glimpsed her. Almost five months. Now summer was in full effect.
That day, as their noses nearly touched from closeness, truly he almost kissed her. But she wasn't ready. She wasn't there yet. It was too evident in her eyes, the apprehension at starting something new, so unfamiliar. True also was this was uncharted territory for him too. Love?
Truth was, he thought about her every day, considered writing her a letter. But he didn't really have the words. No. Sam was an action man. So when he saw her. He would show her how he felt for her. How sorry he was to have left her. He hoped he fit somewhere in her 5-year-plan.
He had tried all kinds of angles to get out of this case early. He didn't plan on going in early. He didn't usually plan anything. But he had a plan for when he got out. He would love her, kiss her, marry her, make babies with her, if she would have him. He didn't realize how much a part of him she had become until he was forced to be away from her. It ate at him not knowing how she was faring. His biggest fear was that she would crumble. This was why he asked his best friend and confidant to watch out for her until the day he returned. 'And that day was coming soon,' he thought to himself as he looked across the room at the calendar, focused on the date circled in red.
And hope that you would find the missing piece
To bring you back to me
Andy was on edge. She felt uneasy today. She looked at the calendar and noted the date. 150 days. Stepping outside she looked to the skies for some impression of emotional support. She vaguely wondered if this was how her father felt, not being able to drink, comparing it to her yearning for Sam. Pushing that thought aside, Andy slid into the silver truck and started the engine. Nothing of particular interest was stated at parade, and Oliver and she would be out patrolling as per usual. As they pulled out, it was Boyd Andy saw drive in; though she wished she could have had the opportunity to read the look on his face. He did not seem to notice her as he drove on.
To be honest, his presence made her feel worse. His presence could mean one of a few things. An undercover gone wrong or an undercover gone right or a new undercover. She started to panic in her seat. "Andy what's wrong?" Oliver asked driving. He could feel the tension rolling off of her.
"Did you see boyd just now?" She asked quickly.
"Yes. Yes I did... Sam was right. You can hear the wheels turn in your head when you over think. Stop thinking about it. It's either positive or negative, or it has nothing to do with Sam and we won't know until we get called back."
"Oliver. I'm scared." It was the first time she had actually admitted it.
"I know. Me too." He hadn't admitted it to anyone else. He was always worried. Worried about Sam, this undercover thing. He had heard details about it that he hoped Andy would never find out. If she knew he was elbow to elbow with a murderer, she would flip. He was worried Sam would never come back. That he would be a victim. That they would get called out somewhere and his best friend's body would be zipped away into a black bag. He let out a sight and ran a hand over his face. He glanced over at the girl next to him. He worried about her too. If something happened to Sam… she would be lost. She would fall back into the hole he had helped her climb out of when Sam left, and she would fall deeper yet.
At the end of their shift, they returned to the barn, the day had been uneventful, save an accident with minor injuries. It had reminded Andy of the girl, Leslie. And it reminded her of the girl she once had been: fickle, erratic, craving no aching for stability. She finished her paperwork and caught up with Traci. Jerry was running late with whatever was today's case. To the Penny it was.
Why don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
She sat at the table with Traci, Gail, Dov, and Chris, swirling the large blocks of ice around in her glass. It was true, she didn't come out with the rooks much anymore. She went to Oliver and Zoe's every Saturday, but didn't feel she could sit in the large crowd of the bar without getting lost. She smiled slightly at some or other of Dov's antics her eyes drifting to the place at the bar Sam used to occupy, empty tonight. Her gaze floated to the door as some sad song dimmed to a close. She paid her bar tab and said her goodbyes.
The reason you loved me before.
Baby, please remember me once more.
When will I see you again?