"Sir you missed," Deadpool LMD 3 stated
"Yeah I see that," the real Deadpool replied, "Luckily I don't miss twice." he added got ready to fire a second shot. There was a whoosh as an arrow struck Deadpool in the right eye causing his shot to go wide and ricochet off the Steel Soldier.
"That's just immature." Deadpool said pulling the arrow out, "Now I'm going to have bad depth perception," he added sticking the eye back in. "Hey Buddy can you knock it off I'm trying to assassinate someone here." he asked throwing the arrow off the building.
"Deadpool," growled Osborne, "I thought you told him to stay away." he asked Hawkeye who was stringing up a second arrow.
"I did," Hawkeye replied, "Guess he didn't listen." he added letting off another arrow which flew and struck Deadpool in the cheek.
"Oh come on." Deadpool yelled down at Osborne. He turned to see LMD 3 and LMD 4 just standing there. "Well come on people this isn't a spectator sport." he ordered. In seconds all three Deadpools were firing down on the Avengers, the majority of the crowd long gone. Diving behind the stage it defiantly looked like the Avengers were on the back foot from where Deadpool stood.
"Three Shooters," Hawkeye explained, "One armed with an M14 the others with Anti Material Rifles."
"They really came here to kills us!" Antman exclaimed
"You know what you signed up for." Osborne snapped, "Karla tale to the skies and get Deadpool off that roof, I don't care if you have to level the entire building just do it. The rest of you get ready once Deadpool falls we surround him and cut him down." he ordered as Ms. Marvel flew off bullets flying through her intangible form.
"Sir we have an Avenger incoming," LMD 3 said
"Cease fire and back away from the edge, lead her into the trap." Deadpool ordered
"Karla who are the other shooters," Osborne asked as the sniper fire ceased
"I think I'm seeing things but it looks like two more Deadpools." she replied hovering over the building, "Could he have been building an army since that last time?" she asked
"What are they doing?" Osborne asked
"Sitting around arguing should I go in?" Ms. Marvel asked
"Green Light to engage Karla," Osborne confirmed as she swooped down on the arguing Mercs
"And that's why I'm a firm Team Deadpool supporter, I mean what was Ryan thinking when he chose to play Green Lantern over me." Deadpool explained
"Sir the Avenger is in range." LMD 4 said
"Good Deadpool LMD 5 & 8 open fire." Deadpool ordered
"Yes sir" the two Deadpools said from the opposite roof as they locked onto Ms. Marvel with their Stinger Missile Launchers. In an instant the missiles were away streaking towards Ms. Marvel who pulled up from the attack as the rockets tracked her across the skies.
"Karla you have two Stinger Missiles on you tail." Hawkeye informed her, "Go intangible see what happens." He quickly recoiled as a bullet skimmed past his cheek as the Snipers began to open fire again. Up above Ms. Marvel went intangible and the rockets flew past into the distance. Breathing a sigh of relief she became intangible only to see the missiles fly back round and head for again. Even worse two more Deadpools had appeared and were getting ready to fire two more missiles at her.
"Karla thread the needle," Osborne ordered as Karla danced through the sky avoiding the missiles before heading to the shooters location, "Hawkeye get ready to nail Deadpool." Osborne continued, "Antman you have permission to blast Deadpool with stinger on full power."
"The Avenger is coming back round." LMD 8 stated blankly, "should we open fire?"
"The boss did tell us to target any Avenger that's in the air." LMD 5 replied. It didn't matter though as Ms. Marvel had reached their position and had dived through the building as two of the missiles slammed into the LMDs destroying them in a fiery explosion.
"Idiots." Deadpool said dropping the M14 for an SA-80 Light Machine Gun peppering the attacking Ms. Marvel with bullets as she led the other two missiles towards their position.
"Well men," Deadpool began, "It's been sought of an honour, LMD-3 I'm promoting you to captain of this ship."
"Thank you sir." LMD-3 repplied not noticing the ice-berg heading for their position, "Sir where are you going?" he asked as the real Deadpool jumped off the building screaming and flailing his arms. Above him Ms. Marvel flew through the building as the missiles impacted killing the newly promoted captain. As he fell Deadpool felt a sharp jolt as something impacted with him and he suddenly stopped falling a large arrow pinning him to the building. Struggling he was unable to free himself as a tiny figure floated in front of him.
"Hey Antwoman." Deadpool said
"It's Antman!," O' Grady replied
"Sorry, sorry so Antman you're in the big leagues, let me be the first to congratulate you on your promotion." Deadpool said hoping that Antman was a big, or in this case small, a sucker as he looked.
"Really, that means a lot coming from someone like you." Antman said taking the bait, "I mean you're infamous but I was a nobody."
"I'd prefer famous but I will take infamous. You know what you should untie me and we should celebrate I know this place where the…"
"Sorry Deadpool while I'd love to I think Osborne would have a problem with that." Antman replied
"Oh well," Deadpool sighed, "Back to struggling and fighting then."
"You're in no position to fight Deadpool." Ms. Marvel said landing next to him, "What are you waiting for O'Grady knock him out."
"Wait please I want to ask Osborne a question before you stun me."
"Ask away Deadpool," Osborne said arriving with the rest of his Avengers
"Is it true you got punked by," he stopped and snickered, "Songbird. I mean please you're goons should be able to deal with her."
"I resent that," Songbird said appearing next to Ms. Marvel
"Ah don't be like that," Deadpool said, "Hey can I star in a Fanon tale with you, once that's done I will have crossovers with nearly everyone."
"Well." Songbird murmured, "I am a big fan." she said her powers shredding her costume to reveal a red Deadpool one underneath
"Wow really nice, is that home made?" Deadpool asked, Songbird giggled.
"Who's he talking to," Steel Soldier asked Spiderman
"Well he has these kinds of episodes, there really kind of funny." Spiderman informed him
"No there not." Osborne answered, "For the love of God O'Grady zap him now so he shuts up."
"Sorry Songbird got to go," Deadpool said wriggling free of the arrow holding him in place before swatting Antman whose stingers streaked through Wade's fingers, "Okay Osborne you've asked for it." he addressed Osborne throwing a disc at the Iron Patriot Armor.
"Is that all," Osborne laughed, "somebody punch him out". Suddenly the disc sparked and lightning shot through the armor rendering it immobile.
"Standard Electo-Magnetic Scramble, It's amazing what you find in old SHIELD Bases." Deadpool explained as Ms. Marvel lunged towards him, "No you don't." Deadpool said as he pulled out a SPAS-12 and blasted her with it the round travelling through her intangible body. Staggering she fell and clutched her chest, "Moon Rocks defiantly kryptonite for you," he replied pushing her face into the mud, "Now come on who's for fisticuffs?" he asked putting his hands up in a boxing stance.
"You may have bested those three," Spiderman hissed sliding up behind him, "But I'd wager you won't be so tough without your arms, or you head." he added sliding his tongue around Deadpool's neck.
"Hey Mac," Wolverine growled, "Do you like your food diced of shredded?" he asked extending his claws.
"He's mine Wolverine, mine alone." Spiderman hissed as he began to pull Deadpool towards his mouth.
"Mmph mmph," Deadpool said struggling to be heard
"What was that?" Spiderman asked slightly loosening his tongue
"Tick tick boom." Deadpool replied stabbing the tongue with a mini claymore mine before slipping out of the chokehold as it thrashed just before the explosion detonated shredding the alien symbiote's tongue.
"It's stupid us taking turns," Hawkeye stated, "We should fight him together." he added pulling out a large combat knife
"I agree let's slice him to pieces." Wolverine added
"Now you face a true warrior's fury." Emerald Scarab finished summoning a five foot Khopesh that glittered with its own internal light. All three of them lunged and Deadpool drew his Katana as blades met against blades. From behind him something moved and a massive fist sent him down onto his knees as the Steel Soldier attacked from behind. Dropping his blade Deadpool attempted to pick it up only to have the iron-giant clamp his hands.
"Now you join your ancestors in the afterlife." the Emerald Scarab said as the Steel Soldier lifted his head in line with her blade.
"No he's mine," Spiderman hissed as he pushed past Hawkeye, who had retrieved the merc's katana, and attempted to grab Deadpool.
"No fell creature, he is mine to scavenge on alone." Scarab answered as she opened her mouth a swarm of tiny scarab beetle's flew out and began to burry into Deadpool's flesh.
"Actually," a voice stated, "We'll take him." All five of the Avengers turned to see another Deadpool LMD equipped with a massive chain-gun. Behind him eight more Deadpool LMDs appeared brandishing multiple weapons.
"In this case," the real Deadpool sang as the first shots were fired, "Don't stop the cavalry."
Deadpool: - May I say that Scarab is one of the most twisted yet oddly hot individuals I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. I she single?
Impurest Cheese: - What about Songbird?
Deadpool: - She's good looking but I don't date heros, too honest
Songbird: - Good because I don't date scum like you
Deadpool: - How did you get here?
Impurest Cheese: - Who are you talking too?
Deadpool: - Songbird she's right there man.
Impurest Cheese - I can't see her.
Songbird: - And another thing I don't act like the way you fantasized about me.
Deadpool: - Jeez now I know why they called you Screaming Mimi. I think I preferred the slobbering space-freak, Iron Giant, psycho assassin, son of wolverine and the bug lady.
Impurest Cheese: - Seriously Songbird is on her way to Mexico, she's not here Deadpool
Deadpool: - Whoa Osborne is waking up I'm just going to take advantage of this while I still have this
Impurest Cheese: - It actually worked, thanks Melissa
Songbird: - Does this mean that you won't kill me off in the next Thunderbolts Fanon like you were planning too?
Impurest Cheese: - I've got to go and make sure Deadpool doesn't do anything stupid. See you next chapter readers.
Seriously Songbird Fans, I promise Melissa won't die in the next Thunderbolts Fanon Story, Probably