Osborne got to his feet as the battle raged; a LMD with a massive chain-gun was leading the others in a counterattack against his Avengers and his Avengers seemed to be loosing. Both Karla and O' Grady were still out for the count but at least they where breathing, Hawkeye wasn't as lucky as he bled out from multiple shot wounds. All the other Avengers, apart from Kephi, were fighting for their lives, these LMDs were whole staircases above the four that Karla had destroyed earlier. With a blast from his Repulsors Norman took to the air and blasted an LMD that had until a few seconds before been peppering Draken with an AK-47. Dropping down next to Kephi, Osborne saw that she had an idiotic grin on her face as scarab beetles crawled over her skin into her mouth.
"Get up," Osborne ordered
"Can't so full of energy, got the best buzz since 1944," Kephi replied her voice that of an addict hallucinating
"Then use that power to help us." Osborne said putting his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to pull her up onto her feet only to have the gauntlet evaporate in a burst of green smoke. "Then stay here, I'll deal with you later." Osborne growled as he turned to see the Steel Soldier using the real Deadpool to bludgeon another.
"Blue on Blue," the real Deadpool cried, "Friendly fire." he added as he scrambled to pick up the defeated LMDs M32 MGL. Twisting to face the soldier's head he fired a volley of grenades yelling, "Danger Close." Stunned the Steel Soldier dropped him before receiving a second volley sending him crashing to the ground. "Your self repairing right?" Deadpool asked darting away as the Steel Soldier tried to grab him, "This is for the people of Rockwell." Deadpool continued as a Technical, crewed by LMDs, pulled up and fired a rocket at the fallen giant. The rocket detonated spraying the Steel Soldier with a solution that quickly made his iron skin rust becoming brittle.
"Looks like you're rusty." Deadpool stated, "Oh Well." he added firing a grenade at the Steel Solider causing him to shatter into rust flakes.
"Deadpool you'll pay for that," Osborne roared as Daken sliced the head off another LMD. The odds were now in the Avenger's favour as only a few LMDs were still standing. The one armed with the massive chain-gun was focusing its attention on him now as the real Deadpool joined the fight pulling out a .44 Magnum.
"This is a .44 Magnum loaded with Adamantine tipped bullets that could blow you head off with a single shot, armor and all. So Osborne you got to ask yourself are you feeling lucky. Well are you?" Deadpool growled doing a passable imitation of Clint Eastwood and took a shot. The fatal armor piercing round never reached Osborne as Daken slashed the round, the impact shattering one of his claws before turning towards Deadpool and slashed cleanly through the hand and the Magnum, the remaining bullets falling to the ground still intact.
"I say sir I do challenge you to a duel." Deadpool said picking up his hand and using it to slap Daken round the face, "Pistols at dawn." he added shooting Daken through the head and then the groin causing him to collapse as his healing factor kicked in. Osborne wasn't majorly concerned, Daken would heal and even better, O' Grady was beginning to come around and was heading for the Technical where two Deadpool LMDs were positioned firing anti-tank rounds indiscriminately across the battle field. Suddenly the armor systems screeched as the Chain-Gun Deadpool LMD opened fire the bullets penetrating the shields and chewing through the metal chassis into his legs. Returning fire with the arm mounted Repulsors, Osborne poured enough fire onto the Chain-Gunner until he exploded the head rolling across the battle-field and down into a broken sewer grate.
From behind him Osborne heard an eerie screech and turned to see Deadpool and two LMDs focusing on Mac Gangran, with one throwing flash-bangs at an alarming rate at the Symbiote while the second poured streams of liquid fire onto the faux Spiderman with a Flamethrower, as Deadpool sang the opening verse of Fire by Arthur Brown as the Symbiote screamed and writhed on it's own funeral pyre.
"Deadpool, why have you come here and attacked my Avengers!" Osborne bellowed
"Because it's fun and I'm being paid 20 million for a complete job with 100 Grand per ugly Avenger head." Deadpool answered, "I'm in the money," he sang above the Symbiote's screams of pain.
"Deadpool, you don't have the finesse to acquire all this hardware in such short a period of time. Give me the name of your supplier and I will pay you 10 million to get lost and never return to New York again." Osborne offered
"And how you going to keep me out of one of my favourite cities?" Deadpool asked, "Wait hold on." he added upholstering a pistol and shooting an entire magazine into the screaming Symbiote. "Sorry that was really annoying Me." he apologized.
"With a bullet." Osborne stated, "As we speak HAMMER troops are setting up a cordon around the area armed with bullets designed to deliver and Anti-Cancer round right into your cranium, no regenerations and no second chances."
Deadpool grabbed LMD 22 and shook him, "It's game over man, we're dead meat."
"Get a hold of yourself sir." LMD 22 replied
"No, no, you got it wrong," Deadpool lectured, "The line it get a hold of yourself Hudson."
"Shall I call in LMD 6?" LMD 22 asked
"Yeah and while that's happening I'm going to set off the fireworks," he replied flipping a detonation trigger. Behind him Avengers Tower shook and collapsed as the demolition charges Deadpool had covertly set the day before detonated. "Yeah Osborne I did that." Deadpool chanted, "Where's your precious Anti Cancer rounds now?" he taunted
"You like explosions Deadpool." Osborne stated as he saw the flare of Antman's boosters head inside the Technical's exhaust, "Then you're going to love this one." he added as Antman scurried out and cleared the area. A second louder boom sounded and the anti-tank Technical exploded sending the LMD's inside flying.
"Well since we are playing 20 questions, since Tony Stark is missing presumed dead who do all the Iron Man Villains go when they want to get beaten up?" Deadpool asked
Osborne surveyed the scene, Daken was done healing and was getting to his feet and Karla moaned, coming round from her date with the floor. The Scarab however, was still out of it still groaning in ecstasy as golden mist whirled around her. "Deadpool you are outclassed, consider my offer before anybody else dies." Osborne offered.
"The answer is…" Deadpool continued oblivious to Osborne's offer, "A, Norman Osborne. May I introduce the Crimson Deadpool armor." Slamming down behind Deadpool a massive suit of armor arrived crewed by a Deadpool LMD. "Modified from a confiscated suit of Crimson Dynamo armor this suit features high powered magnets." Deadpool explained as Daken ran at the suit which responded by bending the faux Wolverine's remaining claws back. "Concentrated Nerve Gas Sprayers." the Dynamo Armor sprayed O'Grady as he rocketed towards it with a thick grey fog that caused him to drop to the floor convulsing and coughing. "And my personal favourite," Deadpool continued, "Lots of Guns." he finished as the suit opened fire on Karla as she struggled to her feet. Osborne dashed across to her position oil and blood oozing out through the holes in the armor. He reached her just in time to shield her from the incoming fire the rounds tearing through the armour's hull but stopping short of penetrating his skin.
"Hit em' again Clyde." Deadpool ordered
"I am sated." a deep voice rumbled. The Emerald Scarab was back on her feet fire and energy oozing from her eyes and mouth. The Dynamo armor fired on Osborne and Karla but a shield of mystical energy had enveloped them and the howling Daken and the rounds just fell harmlessly off the surface.
"You," Osborne growled, "This is your fault, I'm going to make sure that you bake on the sands of Egypt for what's' happened here.
"Mortal Animals die, but I know that this was not meant to happen, their deaths are written in stone on another day."
"So what are you going to do, resurrect them or something?" Osborne asked
"No." Kephi stated, "I have the power I need and you Mortal will once again worship the might of Kephi as I throw down Ra and reclaim the sun."
"You may be powerful but I posses the Book of the Dead, stolen from the Library of Alexandria. Before I even invited you into the tower I memorized all its secrets including the curse that locked you in that mortal female body. I can make sure that you stay imprisoned in a tomb of flesh and bone for all eternity." Osborne said
"You dare black-mail me?" Kephi asked before beginning to laugh, a sound so powerful that the very buildings around them shook. "Very well mortal I could have thrown open the gates of Heliopolis single headedly but instead I will roll back the sun six hours, but I warn you only this event can be changed all others must continue or the fabric of time will unravel. All living witness will remember these events until they have been rectified, remember that." Kephi instructed before flying up an arrow of green and gold ascending into the heavens.
Osborne looked up to see Deadpool and the two LMDs staring at him weapons pointed directly at him.
"Any Last Words." Deadpool asked.
"Who hired you, I have an inkling but I would like to know who bested me?" Osborne asked
"Don't know I just met with one of his servants this hot foreign robot lady." Deadpool told him, "Now who should I kill first, Ms. Fake Marvel or Wolverine's Basted?" Deadpool asked. Above them the sky glowed orange and the darkness melted into blue skies. Osborne watched as the LMDs faded out of view, no doubt returning to where they were earlier in the day. The bodies of his Avengers also disappeared fading into gold mist as they returned to the now standing Avenger's Tower.
"Deadpool," Osborne stated, "I'll see you later, and this time I will be shooting to kill." he added as the gold mist surrounded him until he couldn't see anything.
"Crap." Deadpool said, "There goes my bonus." as he too was taken by the mists of time.
Deadpool: - "You just cost me 400 Grand Buddy
Impurest Cheese: - You really think I'd leave it just as you were about to kill Osborne
Deadpool: - Now I have to f#&^£g start from scratch, and why the hell have you just censored me
Impurest Cheese: - Because I have something that may change your mind
Deadpool: - Is it a Scooby Snack?
Impurest Cheese: - No it's logic. You have technically killed four Avengers, if you kill them again you can get another 400 Grand. Think about it you could earn an extra 1.2 million. Interested?
Deadpool: - Oh boy a Scooby Snack
Impurest Cheese: - Er Deadpool are you okay
Deadpool: - Yeah sorry what was that about an extra 1.2 Million
Impurest Cheese: - Don't worry Deadpool, LMD 22 will fill you in as you fall through the mists of time
Deadpool: - What no where's my 1.2 Million and more importantly my Scooby Snack
Impurest Cheese: - Great now I'm going to have a sense of Déjà vu all day.