The gold mist faded and Norman Osborne opened his eyes to see the Iron Patriot armor sitting across the room in its usual place in his office.
"Are you okay sir?" Victoria asked as she stood with a large clipboard in her hands. Osborne suddenly realized where, or more correctly when, he was, it was the meeting he had earlier in the day about the catering of the Avengers announcement that was to take place in central park that evening.
"Victoria?" he asked cautiously, "What time is it?"
"It's 4:20PM on the 18th May." Victoria answered, "and as I was saying I think we should avoid anything to meaty we don't know what mood Mac Gargan will be in tonight. He may be presentable or a slobbering hyper-carnivore that tears people's limbs off."
"Speaking of my Avenger's where are they?" Osborne asked
"Where they usually are, in the tower's executive penthouse lounge." Victoria answered as Osborne rose from his chair, "Sir where are you going this is important."
"Trust me Hand this is far more pressing, go and assemble the HAMMER ground units and hand out the Anti-Cancer rounds, we're going hunting." Osborne ordered a menacing smile on his face, "for Deadpools."
"And then I laughed so hard that the finger popped out of my nose." Gargan said as the other Avengers, apart from O' Grady and the Emerald Scarab, who was strangely absent, laughed, "And then I said that will teach you to stick your finger up at me kid."
"Am I the only one who finds that joke terrifying?" O'Grady asked
"Trust me it's better to…" Daken began to say before shaking his head, "Wait what was I saying?" he asked confused
The door behind them slid open and the Emerald Scarab limped in, her nose bleeding and massive gashes across her body which revealed tiny scarab beetles gnawing away at her bones.
"Christ what happened to you?" Ironclad asked helping her into a chair
"Reset time, hurts like hell." the Scarab replied not bothering to but on the usual flare she but on her speech.
"You actually managed to reset time then." Karla said, "You mean it's six hours ago."
"What are you talking about?" Hawkeye asked
"Yes what exactly?" Osborne asked standing in the door, "Karla, Daken, Kephi can I see you in my office for a moment."
"As you all know they died last night or this night." Osborne told the others as they arrived in his office, the security cameras offline. "I don't know how they would take the news."
"Probably not to well." Karla answered, "It would affect their performances in the field, my professional opinion is, like you said to keep this information from them."
"Then it's agreed we keep last night off record." Osborne ordered
"We need to find Deadpool," Daken said, "He'll try a new tactic I'm sure, but if we hit him now then we can get him before he can initiate it." There was a knock on the door and a technician put his head round the door. "Sir the Crimson Cowl is here to drop off a message from the Hood."
"What is it?" Osborne asked
"He says he has to deliver it in person."
"She, the Crimson Cowl is a woman named Justine Hammer."
"The person downstairs is defiantly a man." the Technican stammered
"New Tactics?" Daken purposed
"Dam' it." Osborne swore before activating the buildings P.A system, "All Avengers and available HAMMER security converge on the lobby, Deadpool is in the building." The other Avengers pushed passed the Technican as Osborne picked up a shotgun loaded with Anti-Cancer rounds and followed them out. For a moment the office was quiet and then a tiny speck moved along the windowsill.
"We died?" O' Grady asked, "When did that happen?"
By the time the Avengers reached the lobby, Deadpool was gone but the bodies of several dead HAMMER personnel was evidence enough that he had been here. A crudely drawn arrow, next to the floor directory, indicated that Deadpool was heading down towards the vehicle depot on sub-level 10. Filled with anger the Avengers followed the trail of death and destruction eventually arriving at Quinn Jet Hanger 3 where Deadpool was located with the real Crimson Cowl wearing a suicide vest.
"Deadpool drop the hostage and surrender, you're outnumbered." Osborne stated
"No bud you listen here," Deadpool replied his voice miming an old style gangster, "You try anything and you'll be clearing Quinn Jets off Trixie here."
"I think you have it the wrong way round." Hawkeye offered Deadpool
"No sees." Deadpool stated continuing his gangster voice as he pressed a button which caused the majority of the Quinn Jets to explode shattering shrapnel across the room. "Now this one," he added his voice returned to normal, "detonates the Cowl's suicide vest."
"Blow her up, she's ultimately disposable." Osborne said, "The Hood will get over the loss of her."
"Tough news for you," Deadpool told the Cowl, "Before I do blow her up I'd like to say catch." he yelled as he threw the Cowl at Osborne as he ran for the stairs the Avengers hot on his heels.
"EOD get down here now," Osborne ordered over the radio, "and somebody get my suit ready." he looked down to see the timer on the vest reach 2, then 1 and then a zero with a happy face as the bomb detonated spraying tomato ketchup all over his face.
"Running," Deadpool yelled barrelling out through the underground parking of the Avenger's Tower, "Running, where are you guys, as machines you're meant to run on time." he added as the Avengers arrived, "Hey guys listen if you could just open the doors we can pick this up later, I'm sure that you'll win."
"End of the Line Deadpool," Karla commented, "this time there's no escape."
"Fine then let me say one thing," Deadpool asked, "Bang, Bang, Bang." he finished opening fire with a pair of MP5s raking the car-park with gunfire as the Avengers took evasive action.
"Steel," Karla called, "Give us an opening." The Steel Soldier nodded and picked up a Chevrolet and threw it at Deadpool who hit the deck screaming. In an instant Daken had leaped from the thrown car and had plunged his claws into Deadpool's neck as the others surrounded the downed merc.
"We got him." O'Grady said happily
"No this one has no life to feed on." the Scarab said, "It's just a machine."
"Is that right," Daken growled, "Smells like the real thing."
"Sheryl really nailed it the First Cut really is the deepest." Deadpool wailed as Norman arrived dressed in the Iron Patriot Armor. "Hey Osborne," Deadpool stated, "If you want to find the real Deadpool look outside."
"A fake you idiots captured a decoy." Osborne roared, "Get outside and find him and this time don't let him get away." The Avengers headed out through the doors of the parking garage, "Not you Kephi I have a special task for you." Norman ordered
"Looks like he has a new favourite," Hawkeye huffed, "It's the Sentry all over again."
"Maybe he's just making her feel welcome." Spiderman stated, "I know I'd really like to welcome her, I have cravings for Asgardian but she'll do." he hissed menacingly.
As the Avengers left Osborne had two HAMMER agents drag a man into the parking garage. Silently the Scarab locked lips with the man and kissed him passionately, her beetles crawling into his mouth devouring the man's skin and muscle until nothing but a cleaned skeleton was left. As the beetles crawled back into Kephi's mouth her wounds healed and her eyes shone with golden radiance.
"There are you sated?" Osborne asked
"For now, once this Deadpool has been caught I will have enough food to last me a lifetime, his years are almost infinite." she purred as she dropped the agents dropped the skeleton onto the floor. "This man was the one who let Deadpool into the building, through his life essence I can track our target."
"Where is Deadpool then?" Osborne asked
"Outside the tower with his doppelgangers." she stated vanishing into green and gold fog. As she reappeared Deadpool jumped up from the back of the Technical he was standing on and waved before the LMD at the wheel floored it followed by a second vehicle and a massive flat-bed truck. Osborne followed the Scarab out and watched as Karla and Mac perused the vehicles as the others followed in vain on foot.
"Karla, Mac continue the pursuit, we're going to be right behind you in transport with our rapid response battalion." Osborne ordered
"Got it," Karla replied, "We'll try and thin the herd as we go but by the looks of it the Deadpools are packing heavy anti-air defences."
"Just keep on their tail," Osborne ordered, "Daken, Steel take one of the Thunder Hawks and join the pursuit. Kephi, O' Grady I want you with the ground troops on the Command APC, when Deadpool stops you two are going to follow inside and cut off his avenue of escape."
"What about me?" Hawkeye asked.
"Stay here I have a special assignment that I need you to complete." Osborne ordered
What's that?" Hawkeye asked as HAMMER marked APCs and HUMVEEs arrived. Osborne pointed to the lead HUMVEE that only had the chain gun removed with and replaced with a rail-gun.
"Let's just say that Deadpool is packing heavy armor," Osborne said as Hawkeye gasped "and Here's hopping that you don't miss." he added, "Because our lives will be in your hands."
Deadpool: - I wasn't in that chapter at all; this is the Deadpool Invasion right?
Impurest Cheese: - "You where in this chapter just not as much as Deadpool LMD 27. And you supplied the voice and the capture the Crimson Cowl so you were more of a behind the scenes character."
Deadpool: - "Can we have a chapter where I and the Cowl have a fight?"
Impurest Cheese: - "No. If we added that then everyone else would want more stuff added about their characters. Some of it would be good reading but I refuse to have a chapter called 'Deadpool eats a Sandwich and then uses the ketchup to fill a bomb' I hope you understand that"
Deadpool: - "That bomb was great, I wish I had the security footage from that garage."
Impurest Cheese: - "I suppose it would be possible to convince Osborne to hand over footage that humiliated him."
Deadpool: - "Really"
Impurest Cheese: - "No HAMMER had probably destroyed it by now. I'll do you a compromise I'll write you an epic car chase chapter with multiple high octane moments, sound fair."
Deadpool: - "Will their be explosions and much breaking of the 4th wall?
Impurest Cheese: - "I Suppose so. What are you doing?"
Deadpool: - "Not now K.I.T.T. I beg your pardon? Come on do the line please.