Disclaimers, acknowledgements, notes, warnings, etc: Please see Chapter 01.
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The Sound of Music Chronicles
Part I
The Twelfth Governess
Chapter 07
Where there is a will, there is a way
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"If someone wants a sheep, then that means that he exists."
Antoine de Saint-Exúpery.
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"Desire makes everything blossom; possession makes everything wither and fade."
Marcel Proust
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The Reverend Mother smiled, and murmured a silent thank you to the Lord, for her prayers had been answered and He had sent her the guidance that she needed to help Captain Georg von Trapp. And the good Lord had been so cunningly clever that, at the same time, He provided her with the answer on how to deal with another problem: Maria.
The illustrious Captain von Trapp believed that his children needed discipline. She presumed that he had told himself that so many times, and that he had been told by his peers that discipline was the only way to raise so many children; he had actually begun to believe it. However, in her mind, what those children needed was something entirely different. Maybe, just maybe, the real problem was… too much discipline. The von Trapp children needed life to be brought back to their home – at least by someone who would help them to deal with the grief of their loss without forgetting that they deserved to go on living. And what the children needed the young postulant she had in mind had in abundance.
Maria was no stranger to grief – the little that she had gathered from the young woman about her past was enough to convince her that she would understand the children's loss. She had come to the abbey in her early twenties, informing the Reverend Mother that she had no living relatives. Feeling compassion for the young woman, the Reverend mother took her in, with the firm belief that the Lord had placed Maria in her care for a reason. As the time passed, she noted that the young postulant had an enthusiasm for life, a compassionate spirit, and a very vivid imagination. However, she also noted that Maria needed discipline. She wasn't sure if it was her free spirit that needed taming, or if it needed to be set free. The Reverend Mother needed to know if Maria had the right qualities to become a nun, and if she would be able to live with all the inevitable restrictions that would be imposed upon her, if she decided to devote her life to the cloister.
The situation was just too perfect. It would be an enormous risk, but one that the Reverend Mother was more than willing to take. If she lost, she would lose not only Maria, but the trust that Captain von Trapp had placed in her. On the other hand, if she won - she gazed heavenward, with a beaming smile – if she won she would be reassured, once more, that her own decision to become a nun had been the right one, for once more she would had helped to fulfill God´s will. Maria would find her right path in life, whatever that path was, and those children would find a reason to smile again – and maybe even find their father.
Usually, the Mother Abbess did not have the time or the inclination to take any personal interests in the candidates to the novitiate at Nonnberg Abbey. Running the convent, helping it to survive in such difficult days, with all the changes that the world was going through, took up most of her time – it was no different than running a large estate. To watch over the girls, she always counted on Sister Berthe and Sister Margaretta, who reported to her often, and whenever they felt her guidance was needed.
Maria, however, had been an exception from the beginning – a veritable pebble in their shoes, according to some of the most conservative members of the fraternity. Nonnberg had always been one of the most important and most prestigious Benedictine convents in Europe. No candidate simply walked in there and announced at the top of her lungs that she would like to be a part of their fraternity – it was like walking inside the Vatican and announcing that one wanted to become a Cardinal. Postulants arrived usually by recommendation from another equally distinguished convent. Maria ignored all that – she just rang their doorbell and said simply that she wanted to speak to the Reverend Mother because she wanted to join the Abbey. She had no references, no family to speak for her – she was alone in the world. She had arrived in Salzburg with not a penny in her pocket, and only with the directions to look for an onion shaped tower on top of a hill.
The sisters tried to send her away, of course, but the girl had stubbornly refused to leave.
"I have no where else to go, you must let me stay," Maria had pleaded. "You just have to! Please, don´t send me away. I don´t know what will become of me if you don´t let me in."
Sister Margaretta´s tender heart had ached for the girl, and she ran to the Reverend Mother´s study that day, informing her that they had a situation at the main gate that needed to be solved. In a few words, she told her what was happening.
"She is a brave and bold girl," she had said, after Sister Margaretta finished her tale, adding that Maria was so thin that she looked like she had not eaten in days. "So young and all alone in the world. We simply cannot let her walk out without at least trying to do something for her. It would be against all the vows we all took to be here."
"But Reverend Mother, Sister Berthe…" Sister Margaretta began, but her superior did not allow the interruption.
"… is not a very good judge of character, I´m afraid, although she does have other remarkable virtues, Sister Margaretta. But this girl… Only from what you told me… she reminds me of myself when I was her age. I have a feeling I would like her, whether or not she is an asset to this Abbey. Please, do send her in," the Reverend Mother had told Sister Margaretta.
The younger nun silently left. Less than ten minutes later, Maria walked in. One hour later, she was admitted as a postulant to Nonnberg Abbey. The few clothes and personal belongings that she carried with her were given to the poor. The young girl's desperation had been evident.
"My only options were to buy a meal or buy a train ticket to Salzburg. I chose Salzburg – and Nonnberg. Salzburg has always been my home, and I knew the good Lord would provide for me somehow." Maria had explained. After summoning the Mistress of Postulants, Maria had been taken to the robbing room to receive her postulant attire, and then she been properly fed.
Yes, she had been much more trouble than they had asked for. The nuns honestly believed, at first, that she would eventually stop talking after the excitement of having been admitted to Nonnberg faded away. Yet, that never happened. Not a day would go by that the Reverend Mother didn't hear what Maria was up to again. Apparently, obeying even the simplest rule was quite a task for the girl, and the Reverend Mother could not help but wonder if she had ever been adequately disciplined by her parents. The girl was completely unable to do something as simple as going up or down a stairway without finding her own, often outrageous, way of accomplishing the task. She made a unique adventure of every job she had to perform, and, although, there were times when it had been her duty to admonish, or even punish her, the Reverend Mother never failed to be secretly amused.
That morning had been no exception, but the timing had been excellent. With her busy schedule, the Mother Abbess would never have considered the possibility of placing Maria in charge of the von Trapp children if she had not disappeared again, right at the same time she was about to speak to the Captain.
"I think I know just the person who might be able to help your children, Captain," the Reverend Mother had assured him, after the Captain finished his lecture, punctuated with such words as discipline, order, and decorum and half a dozen others Navy jargons she could barely comprehend.
"Is this person qualified?" he asked, uncertain.
The Reverend Mother smiled.
"All of my postulants and novices are adequately educated, Captain. It is not, of course, the kind of education that nobility can afford, but it is nonetheless satisfactory. We even allow them to develop whatever natural talents they might have, as long as it is done within the rules of our community. Most importantly, they are all experienced with children, since they are required to work at the orphanage, and teach in the school."
"But my children are not..." the Captain began to retort, and the Reverend Mother interrupted him gently.
"Your children are children before anything else, Captain. They may be better educated than our poor charges, they may dress and speak more eloquently, but they are children nonetheless. The girl I have in mind has certainly never worked as a governess, but…"
"Her obvious lack of experience is irrelevant under the circumstances. Naturally I would not be here if that was important," he said, without being able to disguise a slight irritation.
"Clever," the Reverend Mother thought. Very clever – the Captain was seeing right through her. He had already sensed, somehow, that she had something in mind, that she would not send him just a governess.
"Oh well," she thought, "at least he will not be completely surprised when he meets Maria."
His voice interrupted her thoughts.
"As I said before, all the governesses I have hired before were extremely well qualified, and came to my home with the best possible recommendations. And yet, none of them were able to help me, or the children." He hesitated for a moment, and then leaned forward in his seat. "Reverend Mother, this is an urgent matter," he stressed. "I have uh - business in Vienna that needs my immediate attention, and naturally I cannot leave the children behind without proper care."
"Ehm – business?" the Reverend Mother inquired, sensing his hesitation when he said the word. She could be the leader of one of Austria´s most prestigious religious institutions, but that did not keep her from being curious about the people who sought her for help and advice. Captain von Trapp´s hesitation was visible, and she quickly added. "Oh forgive me, Captain. I tend to be naturally inquisitive with those who seek my counseling. You don´t have to tell me, of course."
"It is all right, Reverend Mother; your question caught me by surprise, that´s all." He then shrugged, relaxing in his chair again. "It is better that you know, since it may help you in your task. The fact is that I am thinking about remarrying."
The Mother Abbess´s eyes widened.
"I see. And are you sure that this will be the best for you and the children?" she asked him boldly. She looked at him intently, as if observing him for the first time.
There was no doubt that the Captain was a fine figure of a man. The Reverend Mother instantly knew that considering his looks only, he would have little or no difficulty finding a wife. He was also very wealthy, and a decorated Naval Officer. But then, there was a matter of his seven children, and it was their presence that she worried about.
Would every woman understand that the children were necessarily tied to their father?
Because no matter how much trouble he was having dealing with them now, they were still his children, given to him by the woman he loved. He had loved Agathe Whitehead, the Reverend Mother had seen it with her very eyes, when they sat together right where he was now, in front of her desk in her study. She had seen the way the Captain looked at his wife, the way he gazed at her as she talked.
"No", she thought. "The woman he marries will have to be strong enough to be a mother of seven children, but also understanding enough to live with the fact that her husband had loved another woman before her, and immensely".
The Reverend Mother suddenly had serious doubts that there were too many women that would be up to all that, even in spite of the Captain´s wealth and elegantly handsome looks. It would require much more than love for the man standing in front of her, but she would have to live with his children as well, and, at the same time, feel confident enough not to be threatened by his memories of his first wife. A marriage of convenience would not be enough, even though the man facing her surely thought it would.
The Captain´s voice once more interrupted her reverie. He frowned.
"I am quite sure that it will the best for us all."
She gazed at him for a moment.
"I am pleased to hear that, Captain. But I must ask of you to think very carefully." This time he was unable to hide his discomfort, but before he could say anything, she began to speak again. "Earlier today, as I was tending my roses, I realized that they were in a vase that was given to me by your late wife." She paused, watching his reaction very attentively. His expression immediately softened. Seeing his sad smile, she decided to continue. "You see, your wife knew how much I adore roses, and granted me the indulgence to have them in the courtyard. She chose pink roses, and then I learned from one of my postulants that they mean not only grace and gentility, but also a symbol of appreciation. On the other hand, they may also mean pain, suffering and death. It helped me to realize that my love for the beautiful flowers isn't enough to keep them alive."
"Reverend Mother," he interrupted, kindly but impatiently.
"Please, Captain, allow me to finish." She waited for his nod, before proceeding. "I may tend to my roses, water them, but without being a part of the rose bush, without having the ground beneath their roots, they eventually wither away. I say this as a caution to you Captain. You are very much like the vase…" His eyes narrowed, and she could sense that, although he might have been a little annoyed by her metaphors, he was also curious to see where she was trying to lead him. "You have the ability to love, to nourish your relationship, but if you marry only for the sake of your children, I'm afraid that like my roses, your reasons for choosing your bride could fade. If you marry only for yourself, then your selfishness is like mine, the roses will live for a while, but again will wither. On the other hand, if you marry for not only for them, but for yourself, your roses will never even be plucked from the rose bush. Instead, you will grow and change just as a rose bush does, and you and your family will be much happier."
The frown turned into a half smile, as he looked at her. There was a longing in those dark blue eyes, a longing that the Reverend Mother had seen before, but could not quite place it.
"I always wondered, Mother Abbess, how could someone like you could be so wise, even living all of your life surrounded by these protective walls."
"The walls are merely rocks, Captain, nothing else. They are not made to shut out anything outside or inside. In my opinion, they are there only as a reminder to us of the quiet life we have decided to live. But tear down those walls and Nonnberg will remain, make no mistake about that."
Again, the intriguing half smile. "When I return from Vienna I will be bringing the lady whom I hope will be my future wife with me to meet the children," he stated.
"So soon?" she blurted out the question, before she could stop herself. She also had to concede that Agathe Whitehead had been right about her husband – he was stubborn, and no argument would convince him otherwise if he had someone in mind already. The fact that there was a woman in his life did not surprise her, since it had been a number of years he had become a widower. She could only hope that she was the best choice for him and his children.
"It´s been almost three years," he began, echoing her thoughts, but misunderstanding her question. Yes, it was soon, in a way – those children had to be prepared adequately for their new mother, especially distanced from their father as they were. They had to become a family again, before a new member was brought into their midst.
"No, I did not mean to imply that," she dismissed with a gesture. "Well in this case, may I offer you my congratulations, Captain! And I assure you, that your information only tells me that my decision – which I have already made, by the way – is the right one."
"Are you sure this novice…"
"A postulant, Captain – not a novice. The young woman I have in mind has not made her final vows yet. I hope that is not a problem."
"No, not at all," he said, raising his eyebrows. "I only hope that your postulant can cope with my children for at least two weeks, until I return. I would prefer to have her on staff until September, but considering my children…" He half smiled at the thought. "I ask that she stays at least until I return from Vienna."
The Reverend Mother smiled. "I have a feeling she will, Captain. Very well, then. I will send her to you before the end of the week."
"Where there is a will, there is a way," he thought, quoting the old proverb, as he was led outside the study by the sour faced Sister Berthe. He had placed his full trust in the Mother Abbess´s better judgment, that she would find the answer to his problem. True, there had been moments during their interview when the woman seemed distracted and actually smiled at some private joke – but that only lasted for a second, and he concluded that it had been, perhaps, something that he had said that she had found amusing. He had not minded her meddling ways, very much – indeed, he had almost expected it, under the circumstances, so he had been prepared to have his motives questioned. However he had found her cryptic tale about the roses highly disturbing, and not only because the memories it brought him.
Pushing these thoughts aside, he smiled inwardly, in anticipation of the children's reaction – especially the three eldest – when they found out that their next governess would be a nun in training. If they dared to play any of the tricks on her, he would make it clear that they would have to answer not only to him, but to a much higher authority. With the problem of the new governess finally solved, his thoughts wandered to more a more pleasant direction – to Vienna, and to Baroness Schraeder.
The step he was about to take was an enormous one. Naturally, he wasn´t going to propose until she met his children, and until he saw how she reacted to them, and vice-versa. As much as he admired Elsa, he had to admit that she wasn´t at all the motherly type. Her mother, and his future mother–in-law, assured him that she would adjust, but somehow he had never been able to view Elsa and his children in the same picture. Now, that had to change. Inviting her to meet his family was the next best thing to a proposal, and he was sure that both Elsa and her mother would see it as such. He could only hope that Max Detweiler would be available to accompany them as a chaperon – he certainly did not wish to have his priggish future mother-in-law and her ancient ideas about child upbringing anywhere near his children, not just yet.
Max – he had been a dear friend of his family for long time. He knew him from his Navy days – they had both served together during his first years at sea. Then one day Max had decided that the military life style did not suit him at all – he returned to Vienna to do what he did best – in Georg´s words, explore young musical talents. The children absolutely adored him, and had nicknamed him uncle, although they were not even remotely related. Herr Detweiler was also a good friend of Elsa´s. He would be just perfect to help the children become more comfortable with the idea of having a new mother.
He was distracted from his thoughts when he was nearly knocked down by one of Nonnberg´s postulants. She squeezed herself between him and Sister Berthe, muttering an excuse, and just the faintest trace of lavender reached his nostrils. He could not see her face, because she went ahead, running for dear life towards the stairway, her black mantilla flying behind her. He knew she was a postulant, and not one of the novices or the nuns, because her attire was different. She did not wear a long skirt, and her quick legs were clad in sturdy boots and black stockings. To his utter and complete dismay, the girl did not simply walk down the steps, as any other civilized human being would do. She slid down the banister…
Sister Berthe stopped, with a loud gasp – he could almost swear the nun had been close to letting out a blasphemy. His fingers itched to touch the boatswain whistle in his pocket only to call the unruly postulant´s attention, because her next action was just as baffling to him.
When she finished her slide down the banister, the girl straightened herself, patting down the skirts of her habit. He saw her stiffen visibly, as if then only realizing something. She turned around, so quickly that she nearly lost her balance. As she looked up to stare at Sister Berthe, he had the quick vision of large eyes and flushed face framed by the black mantilla, with a short fringe showing on her forehead, before the girl hastily bent down and… kissed the floor!
"Haaah!" Sister Berthe exclaimed, apparently pleased with the postulant´s peculiar gesture.
Before his mind could even register what had just happened, the girl was already fleeing down the vast hallway, her footsteps echoing noisily behind her.
"There she is, the infamous Black Sheep of Nonnberg," he guessed, amusedly. "That one could certainly use the guidance of whoever the Reverend Mother will choose as my governess. Maybe I should suggest that, after my children are taken care of, this one could use her help! Kissing floors, indeed…"
Maybe…