A/N; …please forgive me for the pathetic time span it has taken me to update. I blame a runaway muse, university, procrastination and laziness for my lack of updatage. However, please enjoy the fluff that is to follow. That is all.
'An Unlikely Prospect'
Chapter III ~ Confessions
"…wake up, angel."
A voice. It was so soft, so quiet…
"…can you open your eyes for me?"
Was this a goddess? …The goddess, herself?
"I'm sorry. You probably feel terrible…"
The tone deepened to worry, concern. No, the voice of the goddess is always calm, always gentle, always…
"Oh, Genesis, please…" the voice filtered into his hazy consciousness, chasing away his clouded dreams of divine spirits of poetry. She…that tone…the Turk…
"…you came…back…" he mumbled, still feeling heavily sedated from a strong anaesthetic Hojo had administered hours before. She's here…Cissnei's with me…but…she…with ShinRa…why?
"Of course I did," she whispered, ignoring the rising panic fluttering inside her. She was supposed to be here. She had all permission to. Of course, as she had taken over guard duty for the night from one of her fellow Turks, she was expected to follow the standard rules of no interference with specimens, even if they attempted communication with her.
But Genesis wasn't just a 'sample.'
He was a human being.
One with a broken soul, emotions, feelings…and subjectively, to her, that made him free from being labelled a specimen. So, technically, she wasn't breaking the company rules. And she couldn't just ignore something so unjust going on within her own workplace. Her own morals wouldn't stand for it, particularly with the circumstances Genesis was burdened with. Though ShinRa was her life, she maintained her independence with enough clarity to call herself a separate entity from the company if she wished to.
"How are you feeling?" Cissnei questioned gently, determined to show as much kindness as she could. Although, she was a little embarrassed at calling him an angel…but such tender language would do good for him. She doubted that he'd heard a compliment or a nickname since he had deserted the company.
"…bad…" he replied hoarsely, coughing. "…sore…"
"Where?" the Turk murmured, wishing to relieve what she could.
"…wing…my arm…" he winced, carefully stretching out his feathers to show Cissnei, now that she was close enough and could be trusted, where he had been stabbed.
The Turk suppressed a gasp, seeing a torn, bloody gash running through the muscle in the middle of his wing. Many of the surrounding feathers were still covered with streaks of clotted blood, looking matted and unsightly. Without a word, Cissnei slowly stood up, turning her back to Genesis as she carefully searched through some of the nearby metal drawers for something. Minutes later she had proudly seized a relatively clean square of fabric and soaked said cloth with water from a nearby sink.
"If you don't mind," she mumbled softly, "could you keep your wing unfurled? I need to have each feather exposed as much as possible."
Genesis blinked in hazy confusion. 'What are you do-"
His protest ceased at both the sight and sensation of Cissnei carefully rubbing the cloth over his secondary feathers, attentively removing the blood stains that marred his wing. Like before, her touch was almost hypnotic, but he couldn't tear his gaze away from her as she continued in her task.
"…why?" he asked with bewilderment, unable to comprehend how she could still display such kindness.
"Because your feathers are beautiful," Cissnei replied simply, smiling to herself as she passed the cloth over another section of his wing. Genesis pondered this statement as the coolness of water continued to spread closer and closer to the burning pain of his wound, completely mystified that somebody could call a monster's wings as such.
"This might sting a bit," Cissnei warned after she'd thoroughly rinsed the cloth. "I'm just going to gently wash around the gash, okay? Just to get rid of the blood."
"…alright," Genesis replied quietly, his mind still clouded by the remains of sedative drugs. The only thoughts he could muster clearly surrounded Cissnei and her unconditional carefulness, but swimming in the back of his mind were notions of degradation, monsters, rebellion, remedies, LOVELESS…
Despite the unpleasant throbs that coursed through his wing as Cissnei cleaned the wound, he forced himself not to complain. He would never have received such kind treatment under the care of either Hojo or Hollander and he refused to take it for granted.
"There's one last thing I need to do," the Turk added, cautiously running a hand along the top edge of his wing. "Your injury needs to be treated with antiseptic. You don't need an infection on top of your degradation and weakened immune system."
"…how do you know so much?" Genesis roused himself to ask, finally feeling a little more like his usual self.
"About which? Treating injuries, or degradation?"
"Both."
"First aid course," Cissnei nodded, smiling at him. Her expression then turned sympathetic. "And then, confidential reports. You'd be surprised at how much information I know about you that many others don't."
As Genesis thought over this, the Turk had managed to locate some antiseptic cream.
"How did ShinRa…?" the ex-SOLDIER asked, trailing off as Cissnei looked at him. She decided to explain it as best she could, knowing that the conversation would probably distract him from the antiseptic treatment.
"They probably gathered information about you from security cameras, archived historical and medical reports…" she mumbled, thoroughly yet gently applying cream to the wound, "…and Hollander's notes and admissions, which were obtained when he was captured and interrogated…"
Genesis opened his mouth to protest about Hollander being apprehended, but he abruptly closed it again after considering that a hopeless scientist like him couldn't remain hidden for long, and that if he hadn't been captured, Cissnei wouldn't be here with her knowledge, helping him.
"Genesis, I…" Cissnei began, meeting his gaze, "…um."
"…what?" Genesis prompted, curious despite himself.
"I'm sorry. For everything."
The renegade SOLDIER was taken aback at her short admission. He was somewhat eager to discover the limits of her knowledge. "…everything?"
"You, Project G, your foster parents…ShinRa, lying, deceiving…your degradation, copies…what you've done…your pain…" Cissnei trailed off, closing her eyes.
Genesis was at a loss. Nobody had ever taken everything into account and felt sorry for him before. Though it was humiliating, it was also…something else…
"I just can't imagine how much you've suffered," the Turk whispered, voice hollow. "It's no wonder you hate ShinRa."
The redhead looked away. True, he despised ShinRa…but Cissnei herself, and many other oblivious staff, deserved none of that hatred.
"All this, up until this point," Cissnei mumbled, "you only did it because you were in so much pain, didn't you? The degradation and the truth of your birth…it must've been awful…"
"I was scared, too." Genesis said in a small voice, hardly able to believe he had just admitted this fact. "Scared to death."
"And you still are, aren't you?" The Turk's voice was soft. "Of dying."
"…yes."
Before he could realise, warm arms had gently encircled his shoulders. His breath caught in his throat; nobody had held him like this in such a long time…
"I'm going to help you," Cissnei mumbled into his shoulder, voice choked, "at least…as much as I can."
"I don't know if you could do much for a monster like myself," Genesis murmured, feeling somewhat touched. Awkwardly he folded his wing back, disguising a wince as he touched the feathers across Cissnei's back as a means of returning the embrace since his arms were immobilised. "But…"
"But?" Cissnei pulled back slightly.
"…thank you."
"You're welcome," the Turk replied, shyness overtaking her as she shivered at the warm, feathery sensation across her back. Slowly, she edged away, even more embarrassed as she realised he was still absent of a shirt. "Anyway, I'd better…find something for your wing, since the wound's still partially open…"
"Perhaps you shouldn't…" Genesis considered, "Hojo's been prodding around my injuries and doing tests on them."
"Well, he'll just need to focus on one of them, won't he?" Cissnei replied obstinately, standing up to hunt around for some clear gauze strips. After a few frustrating minutes of searching, she came across what she was looking for. She quickly stooped down and carefully extended his wing with her hands before he could complain, and then ever-so-gently covered the gash with clear strips of material.
"If you keep your wing retracted when Hojo's around, he probably won't notice. Or he'll decide it's not worth the trouble to force you, and focus on your arm instead," Cissnei reasoned, clearly giving out 'do not argue with me' vibes.
"Alright," Genesis mumbled submissively.
"Lastly, I'll do this for you…" Cissnei trailed off, using her cloth to quickly wipe away the blood stains on his right arm. "But I shouldn't interfere much more, or Hojo will certainly become suspicious. I'm sorry."
"You've done your best. It's more than enough." Genesis lowered his head in appreciation, letting out a quiet sigh. It was all he could really do to display his thankfulness, since his arms and legs were shackled to the floor. He could jiggle his limbs a little, but no chain was long enough to allow him to cause any mischief, such as removing the intravenous shunt that pierced the back of his left hand. His only limb with freedom to move was his wing, but he was placed at such a distance from anything in the lab besides the wall that no matter how he unfurled it, the feathers could touch nothing but air.
Cissnei dropped into silence after giving him a nod, watching him quietly as he attempted to shift his body position. It was cruel to observe him struggling about without offering assistance, but if she wanted to keep meeting with him, she had to refrain from causing suspicion through interference. If she didn't have such a worry, Genesis would be out of those chains, wrapped up with a blanket and a warm cup of tea, and…
She clamped down on those thoughts, knowing that if she dwelled on them long enough, they'd become reality.
"Cissnei?"
The Turk quickly pulled herself away from distracting thoughts of love and care. "Mm?"
Genesis hesitated for a moment, but then his facial expression hardened slightly with more confidence. "I'm curious to know more about you."
"Well…" Cissnei began, stumbling at the ordinary nature of question, "I…I'm seventeen years old, and I…grew up in an orphanage, managed by ShinRa. I never knew my parents. When I was around fourteen or so, they gave me the opportunity to work for the company as a Turk."
"That's young," the ex-SOLDIER murmured, looking at her. "Why did you accept?"
"They practically raised me, I suppose, and I…wanted to give them…" The Turk stopped short, unable to continue with the lie she was forming. Genesis had already been unfairly deceived all his life; he didn't need his trust abused further. "I wanted to get out. The orphanage was a rough place."
"It was your only option, wasn't it?"
"That, or being thrown out into the slums to fend for myself." Cissnei lowered her eyes from his gaze, feeling somewhat exposed. "But ShinRa is all I've ever known. It's the only kind of home I've ever had…and to abandon the closest feeling I had to family, I…just couldn't…"
Genesis tilted his head to the side, the confusion reeling inside of him making him feel like a small child. It was curious to learn about ShinRa through the eyes of another, who had been taken under their demonic wings and actually nurtured to a degree. Why should he be handed the short end of the stick, the company's dreadful side? Was it simply not his choice, but his fate, to live the life of a monster?
"Are you…alright, Genesis?"
The rogue quickly returned her concerned gaze. "What?"
"Oh. You just…seemed troubled," Cissnei replied in a small voice, finding herself far too curious to know what was causing him pain. He had numerous sources of agony and identifying which was bothering him was rather difficult, but she gathered ShinRa's treatment of him had something to do with it.
"Seeing another side of this wretched company surprises me." Genesis shook his head, eyebrows drawing together in sad bewilderment. "I know they welcomed me here, trained me to be a SOLDIER…but ShinRa's ulterior motives for such positive treatment, it just…I felt…used."
The Turk lowered her gaze, surprised at the thoughts his words evoked in her.
"All that time, they knew what I was…and manipulated my power to carry out their selfish deeds. And now, I am no different. I kill, I lie, I deceive, I wage war, just as ShinRa does, and they made me who I am…a beast. Though I oppose them, my actions cause me to become more monstrous still…and I…I feel…"
Cissnei's eyebrows furrowed in sympathy. Genesis had lowered his face into his right hand, pathetic, tearless sobs jolting his weak frame.
Unsure of what would be an appropriate response, she carefully sidled towards him and placed a tentative hand on his left shoulder. She was quite surprised when the renegade SOLDIER shifted his weight, making her arm dip to slide around his back yet beneath his wing. Somehow, Genesis was cradled in her arms, crying silently as unwanted tears dripped off his chin.
"I-I…" he gulped, taking a breath, "…I feel…so trapped..."
The Turk lowered her head, regret for actions she did not commit filling her soul. In all essence, ShinRa had literally created him through Jenova Project G, and inevitably caused the degradation he was now suffering from. This illness was destroying his mind, body and soul, making him fall prey to uncontrollable violence and unbalanced emotions, ensnaring him inside a horrendous cycle of monstrosity. No matter how hard he battled ShinRa, the monsters that created him, Genesis uncontrollably mimicked their fiendish nature because of them and what they did to him.
It was…frightening, in a way, to think ShinRa was capable of destroying lives like this, and Cissnei found this did not sit well with her. But she found no appropriate words to speak as she awkwardly supported the broken man beside her. All she could really do was simply…be there, and offer her presence as a source of comfort.
And perhaps that was all he needed.
However, Genesis continued to tremble, tears streaking his pale cheeks as he choked out one sob after another. Compulsively, he swallowed, trying to regain control over his feelings but instead releasing a low, quiet moan in misery.
"Sshh, now…" Cissnei whispered softly. "You're alright…"
"S-sorry…" he shuddered, emotions of distress slowly being replaced by unwanted embarrassment. He couldn't fathom what had overpowered him so. All he could comprehend was that his soul was writhing in raw, anguished emotions he had no control over, and that he was sorely thankful he managed to keep his agony concealed from the rest of the world.
The Turk hesitantly rubbed her hand on his back, compassionate feelings racing through her heart. "It's okay, Genesis. I know it was beyond your control."
"We monsters are…known for our bad temperaments," Genesis coughed, sickened by the lack of restraint he constantly exhibited. He had no idea just how senseless the degradation could cause him to become, and he feverishly prayed Cissnei would not fall into the crossfire of his unpredictable mood swings. She was lucky that distress had claimed him now, and not appalling violence. "Don't drop your guard around me."
Cissnei frowned, disappointed at his unconfident nature. "I'm still going to help you, no matter how vicious you become through this disease."
Genesis turned his head to glance at her, seeing the determination etched onto her face. He still found it difficult to believe that she was adamant to go against her way of life and help the man who opposed everything that comprised her family. They had barely known each other for a day, and here she was, putting her very life on the line.
It was wild.
He could barely understand it, and yet, he was so…
"Hey…you still okay?"
Cissnei's voice, quiet and concerned, broke his confusion. He nodded silently in response, unsure of how to voice his current feelings. After a few moments of comfortable silence, he gently extended his feathers around her.
"I…"
The Turk glanced at him, finding herself smiling at his shyness.
"…I…don't know what to say." Genesis lowered his gaze from hers, drawing his wing closer to her body as he stared at the floor. "You've done so much, and accepted me without hesitation, despite who I am…"
"Well," Cissnei whispered, gently tracing his soft feathers, "don't expect that to change."
An unexpected tinge of warmth coloured his pale, angular cheeks. "Thank you."
She turned to face him, giving him a small smile.
"From now on, Genesis, don't worry…I'll be with you."
A/N; FFFF. I swear they're getting along way too fast to be believable. But maybe I'm just being paranoid, or maybe Genesis is just desperately clinging to anyone willing to understand and care for him…hm. I'd much rather believe the latter. XD
Anyway, I can't guarantee anything, but hopefully I'll come up with another chapter within the next month, since I'm on university break…
Anyway, until then, revel in this wondrous dosage of angsty fluff!
Disclaimer: Genesis Rhapsodos, Cissnei, ShinRa, Hollander, Hojo and anyone else or thing related to Final Fantasy VII does not belong to me. All I own is the fluff. D: