Disclaimers, acknowledgements, notes, warnings, etc: Please see Chapter 01.
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The Sound of Music Chronicles
Part I
The Twelfth Governess
Chapter 26
Let´s start at the very beginning
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"Do, a deer, a female deer
Re, a drop of golden sun
Mi, a name I call myself
Fa, a long, long way to run
Sol, a needle pulling thread
La, a note to follow Sew
Ti, a drink with jam and bread
That will bring us back to do…"
Rodgers & Hammerstein
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The landscape was just too beautiful to be put in words, so Maria gave up trying to describe it in a letter to two of her former friends from the Abbey, Christina and Theresa. She remembered them fondly – she had promised to visit them whenever she could, but she had used her first free day to sew her own clothes and the clothes for the children. Maria gave up in her attempts, replacing the block of paper and the pencil back in the basket, and allowed herself a few moments of peace, while the children played in the green meadow.
"Why didn't the Reverend Mother chose Theresa and not me for this task?" she wondered.
Theresa came from a noble family; her father had a nobility title. She certainly would be much more at ease in the lavish villa, and much less intimidated by its owner. She played the piano beautifully, and even spoke French and English! She would react to the Captain with cool and elegant hauteur, not in the unspeakable manner in which Maria had responded to him. Lastly, Theresa would never do something so undignified such as climbing a tree and she would not fall from it on top of her employer. She would not scream her head off only because she sat on a harmless pine cone. Finally, least of all, her friend certainly would not engage in a pillow fight with the children in the middle of the night.
Maria dared to allow herself to think about the children's father for a moment.
"I wonder what the Captain is doing now," she mused, gazing at the mountains, so tall and majestic that it almost felt like they were about to fall over her… not unlike the subject of her thoughts. "Certainly not running among wildflowers, in a grassy meadow… It is a pity; it would be wonders to his disposition, not to mention add a little color to his face. Handsome he is, but oh, so pale! But no, he is most probably waltzing madly with Baroness Whatishername in a glittering ballroom, stopping only to drink his wine and chat with his highbrow friends who were probably just as overbearing, haughty, pretentious and patronizing as he was…"
No, she did not envy him or that Baroness of his. She was happy there as she was, surrounded by his children, doing her best to follow God´s will and help them as best as she could.
She assumed the Captain knew how to waltz, as every gentleman supposedly did. Waltz, drink champagne, speak dozens of different languages… At least it was how the rich and noble behaved in the novels she had read – especially the decadent ones, the rakes who were always intending to make the heroine stray from her good path and lead her to a fate worse than death, whatever that meant exactly. Concluding that perhaps the Captain was certainly not decadent enough to be waltzing and drinking champagne at 10 o'clock in the morning, she envisioned him riding a pureblood horse, as the Lipizzans he bred in his property. The Baroness, still faceless in her mind, certainly would be with him, looking equally regal and sophisticated…
Why was she thinking about the Captain?
"Because he is the father of those poor little dears I am supposed to guide, and the source of all their problems," she supplied the answer. "Look at them all, they were born rich and noble, they live in this perfect house in this perfect part of Austria. They shouldn´t have to suffer like that. Dear Lord, I was born out of nothing, I never had anything of my own and yet it seems that I had an easier time than they did. Why is that?"
"Because you can´t miss what you never had," her conscience answered this time. "They had a mother´s love, and a father´s love. Yet, all that was taken from them. It is no wonder that they reacted the way they did… Oh, I can´t help it, I must occupy myself with the Captain, he is the reason behind it all…"
She considered that irritably, sitting up straight again, with a jolt. Watching the children, making sure all seven of them were in sight, she began biting on her pinky finger, distractedly – one of her nervous gestures. The trouble was that it seemed that ever since that first night, her mind would wander in his direction for no reason, even when she did not have the children in mind. And she would dream about him at night. She never had any dreams about anyone in particular before, least of all a man. The most disturbing dreams, although, blessedly, she would remember very little in the morning. Maybe if she had not fallen on top of him, if they had not rolled so that he was on top of her for an instant… In her dreams, the incident was replayed over and over again, but instead of lasting for an instant, it happened in slow motion. Only in dreams she was able to fully recall the feeling of the weight of his body on top of hers, because when she awoke, it was transformed in something so fragile that her conscious mind repressed it, as soon as she tried to remember.
"No, forget the Captain now," she reminded herself. "He is not here, his children are. You must to something to help them, and fast…"
The only thing about him that mattered was – assuming that her idea would work - the look in his face when he returned and heard the children… A look that would certainly make the return trip from Aigen to Salzburg a bit more pleasant, she smiled, anticipating her little revenge. It hardly mattered if he decided to send her away just after that – it would be worth it!
"Fraulein Maria?" said Louisa, coming to sit on the ground close to her.
"Mm hm?" was Maria's distracted response.
"You were smiling like the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland just not!"
"Was I?"
"Oh yes, you were – you still are."
"Hmmm. What is it that you want, Louisa?"
"Can we do this every day?"
Maria looked at the thirteen year old quizzically. Her tone of voice was friendly, more accommodating than usual. Of all the children, Louisa was proving the hardest one to win over, the one who still did not quite look up to her, the one with whom Maria still had difficulty in establishing her authority. She already guessed that she would probably be the last one to give up playing pranks on their governess. Most of all, she was also a very clever girl and Maria guessed that Louisa sensed how much she wanted to win her confidence, and used that knowledge to her advantage.
"Don't you think you'd soon get tired of it, Louisa?" she asked, seriously.
As usual, Louisa fought back.
"Didn't you get tired of staying inside that Abbey and praying all the time?"
"Ouch," Maria said. "We do not pray all the time at the Abbey, Louisa. There is a lot of work to do, much more than you can possibly imagine," she answered, ignoring the girl´s insolent glance. "We have to cook, clean, wash and make our own clothes, for instance. There is the garden and the orchard to take care of, the cows have to be milked, and eggs have to be gathered…"
"Hmm," the girl shrugged. "It is not quite the same thing but… All right, all right! I suppose that I would get tired after a while" she agreed, reluctantly. "Every other day?" she suggested slyly.
Before Maria could answer, Kurt joined them.
"I haven't had so much fun since the day we put glue on Fräulein Josephine's toothbrush."
"Who was Fräulein Josephine?" Maria asked.
"Governess number 8," Liesl replied, also joining them.
"I can't understand how children as nice as you can manage to play such awful tricks on people," she said, immediately regretting that she had sounded just a little patronizing. In her scant experience, the Captain´s children would not respond to that very well.
"Oh, it's easy."
"But why do it?" Maria insisted.
It was Brigitta who supplied the answer this time.
"Well, how else can we get Father's attention?"
"Yes," agreed Liesl.
"Oh, I see. Well, we'll have to think about that one."
The children had not told her anything that she hadn't already guessed, but she still considered the matter very seriously before taking the next step. There would be no going back.
Hastily, she got up and clasped her hands.
"All right, everybody. Over here." She took her guitar and sat on a rock nearby.
"What are we going to do?" asked Liesl, a bit uncertain, staring at Maria's guitar. "Does father know you keep that?" she asked, pointing to the instrument.
Maria looked at the sixteen year old for a moment. Although she had believed otherwise at first, after Louisa, it was Liesl who was proving to be the hardest to conquer, even when after that first dreadful dinner Maria had rescued her from the Captain's wrath by telling a small lie. She had thought she had gained the girl's confidence that day, but she had been wrong. All of her attempts to talk to the girl about the boy Rolfe were promptly rebuffed, politely but very firmly.
"You are not my mother," she had said after Maria´s last attempt to talk to her.
Yet, the sixteen year old was a constant source of worry for her. It was a troublesome age, a dangerous time in your life to be left an orphan without proper guidance.
"But look at you, you had no one and did just fine, Maria," she would tell herself, only to be reminded that, at that age, although she had not entered the convent yet, she had already made the decision to commit herself to a religious life, and that kept her from straying into dangerous paths. Liesl, on the other hand, was escaping the Captain´s watchful eye to meet a telegram boy in the gazebo.
"Oh dear, I hope she knows what she is doing… I hope she knows what she should not do as well. I hope doesn´t get into serious trouble until she trusts someone enough to guide her," she thought.
She would never have imagined it would be so hard – this parenthood business – although in her case it was more like a twisted version of motherhood. No wonder her employer was so lost without his wife, so clueless about the proper way to handle children. It had to be easier for him with the little ones, but the three eldest – the late Baroness never saw any of her seven children reaching the complicated age of thirteen in life. Louisa must have been barely that age when she died. Poor Captain, he must have felt utterly inept for the first time in his life. Not a very comfortable feeling tor a man used to succeed in everything he had ever attempted...
Realizing that she was again brooding about the Captain, Maria blinked several time, as if to shake off unwanted thoughts. She would give the Liesl/Rolfe problem further consideration later. Now she had more urgent things that needed to be addressed.
She cleared her throat to answer Liesl´s question.
"Yes, the Captain knows I brought a guitar with me," she replied steadily to the eldest von Trapp girl. "I never saw a reason to hide anything from him," she added, wondering if Liesl would catch the subtle message in her words.
"Didn´t he scold you?"
"No, he didn´t," another firm and simple answer, although this time her voice faltered slightly.
Well, scold her he did, about many things, including Liesl, but strangely enough, not about the old guitar.
The girl shrugged.
"Fine, but if I were you, I would not play it when he is around, Fräulein."
Maria smiled.
"Then it is good that I am not you, Liesl, because playing my guitar when your father is around is precisely what I am planning to do next!"
Liesl blue eyes became impossibly wide, her jaw dropped.
"But he…"
"Oh, I´m sure he won´t mind if we do this right, which means that we have a lot of work to do and little time to waste."
"What exactly are we going to do, Fräulein?"
"Let's think of something to sing for the Baroness when she comes. And your uncle whatishisname."
"It's uncle Max. But father doesn't like us to sing," informed Marta. "Liesl is right – we could get into trouble."
"Yes, he could sack you," said Brigitta. "It would be easy, you know. Easier still in your case because you are not really a governess."
"Yes," agreed Kurt. "He keeps a list of future governesses in his desk, all he would have to do would be to ring the next one."
Maria ignored the last bit of information about her insufferable employer, and looked at all of them, still smiling. She would win their trust, even if that was the last thing she accomplished in that house.
She took a deep breath.
"Well, I am your governess now, Brigitta. And I am not afraid of your father. Neither should you be."
"It is not exactly a matter of fear, Fräulein," said Friedrich, who had been watching the scene silently until now. "He does not like it."
"I find it hard to believe." Taking a deep breath first, she decided to play a dangerous card. "I heard your father is a very fine musician."
"That was a long time ago," said Friedrich.
"Yes – before," Kurt added meaningfully. "I don´t think he even remembers music now."
"That is silly, Kurt, no one ever forgets music – at least no one forgets to love music. It is almost like riding a bicycle."
"I don´t know…"
"I think he will not like it at all, things could became ugly," said Louisa. "He really does not like us to hear us singing!"
"Well, perhaps we can change his mind."
"We'll probably only make him mad," said Kurt, as the children still seemed a bit reluctant to accept her idea. In spite of Friedrich´s words, inspiring fear in his children might not have been the Captain's intention in the first place, but that was what his actions had caused. If Maria wanted to help that family, and thus fulfill God's errand, she had to begin to change that.
"Now, what songs do you know?" She insisted. "Come on, we´ll have to start somewhere."
"We don't know any songs," said Friedrich forlornly. Maria now knew the reason for the sadness in his voice. Of all the children, Frau Poppmeier had told that he was the most talented, and if he had continued his lessons, he certainly would be as good a pianist as his father ever was, maybe even better.
"Not any?" Maria asked, amazed. "Nothing? Not even a nursery rhyme?" she insisted, but they all only lowered their gazes.
She found that impossible to believe. Even the children from her school, or from the orphanage, knew nursery rhymes and children's songs.
"We don't even know how to sing," said Louisa, as if only them, realizing how much had been missing from their lives.
"Mmmm…"
Maria had never considered herself to be a musician in the strict sense of the word. It wasn't until she joined the Abbey that she had her first music lesson. What she had was a crystal clear soprano voice. Sister Catherine, who directed the postulant's choir, heard her singing the first week she was in the Abbey and immediately invited to join the rest of the group. It was only then that Maria had learned how to control her powerful voice – and so well that soon she was invited to help Sister Catherine with the choral group formed by some of the children of the orphanage. Although she lacked all the professional skills of her musical mentor, Maria knew how to teach children how to sing. She knew where to begin. She knew her musical theory well enough, the scales and everything else she needed to know. It would be all she needed – teach them one song. The rest would follow naturally.
And she could play the guitar…
Oh well, at least she always tried to. She had the most absurd difficulty to play and sing at the same time, and she usually ended up forgetting all about playing after she had sung a few verses. Nonetheless, she had learned enough basic accords to sing with the children she taught in the convent school.
"Well, let's not lose any time. You must learn."
"But how?"
"Let's start at the very beginning,
A very good place to start…"