It was about a month later when Kaylyn, Sodapop, and Lise came down to visit for Christmas. Things between me and Pony hadn't changed much. People thought we were going out, so we let them think what they wanted. Pony wanted things to stay the way they were for now, I agreed, it was better this way. Anyway, back to Christmas.

Kaylyn and Soda went their separate ways, she came to my house, Soda and Lise stayed at the Curtis'. She said she would bring Lise by later. I was kind of afraid I would blurt out to her about the thing that happened between me and Ponyboy, but I surprised myself when I kept my mouth shut. This must've surprised Kaylyn a lot, because she gave me weird looks all night. I was so used to telling her all my problems; she must've thought I changed a lot because of how quiet I was being. I couldn't keep a secret like that.

"Um, so, what's it like being married and all?" I asked curiously, with a small smile. Kaylyn seemed to buy it for a second.

"You never can rest. I have Sodapop and Lise to take care of. I swear, he can be such a child sometimes, but the random things he does for me are so…sweet and welcomed. I dunno what it was like being married, I still don't really know now, but I'm happy." She sighed happily, taking a sip from her soda.

"I wish I had your life. Being married to the perfect man and all…" Kaylyn gave me a weird look.

"It's not all cheese and crackers, you know?" I raised an eyebrow at the weird statement, "Sorry, watching too much Mickey Mouse. Anyway, it's not easy. You know how many bills we have? Soda works at a gas station and I can't work until Lise is a little bit older. We barely have any food around and I'm…surprised that I we were even having Christmas this year." That surprised me a lot. Kaylyn had always made it through life easily, I dunno, it just seemed unnatural for either of them to have problems.

"Why don't we go over to the Curtis' house?" I laughed at Kaylyn's oddly happy face.

"Yeah, okay. Let's go."

It sucks walking in the snow; we were both freezing by the time we got to the Curtis' house. The guys were all there, sitting around and watching T.V. I could see Pony in the kitchen with Darry cooking. Two-Bit was guzzling down some beer, not surprising me one bit, while Steve and Soda were arm wrestling. Lise was sitting beside Johnny on the couch, playing with his hair and gurgling happily. Kaylyn went towards her husband, leaning down and kissing his cheek, distracting him and making Steve win.

"Hooboy, Sodapop, looks like you lost again!" Steve laughed.

"Hey, at least he has a woman." Kaylyn leaned down again, kissing Soda full on the lips, making me inhale sharply. That didn't just remind me of Ponyboy at all, not at all. I was thinking about going into the kitchen and talking to Pony, but Darry was in there, and I was just never comfortable around him. He was too serious; he never had time for fun. It was a problem that, I dunno, just made him less attractive to me. I mean, muscles, hell yeah, who doesn't like that, but he was too down to earth, he was too uptight.

I decided it was better than being jealous of Kaylyn and Soda, so I slipped into the kitchen unnoticed. I almost cracked up when I saw Ponyboy. He was wearing an apron, not a normal, plain white apron, but a frilly little pink thing with flowers on it. Flowers. Ponyboy hadn't noticed me yet, he was too busy baking something. Darry was in another part of the Kitchen, scrubbing the table with a washrag. Neither of them noticed me.

"Pony, be sure to get it out of the oven a bit before it rings, you know it over cooks things." Darry stated, looking up at Ponyboy. He still hadn't seen me. Ponyboy sighed.
"I know, Darry, I've got it under control."

"Wait, don't you have a 'B' in Home Economics?" I asked, making both, and I mean BOTH guys jump up in surprise. Ponyboy turned to me, his beautiful hazel eyes bore into my brown ones, and suddenly he looked away. He was pink now, and Darry was holding his chest.

"Damn, Kim, you scared me good. Watch it little girl."
"Oh, I only meant to scare Ponyboy, sorry Darry." I giggled as he shook his head again and went back to washing the table. Ponyboy worked fast to take off the apron, but I had already seen it. I walked to the oven to watch the cake with him. Pony smiled at me.

"Uh, hey Kim, what're you doing here?"

"Oh, well." I started, not expecting this question, "Kaylyn couldn't bare being away from Sodapop for another second, so we came here to hang out." Sodapop chose that second to walk in the kitchen with Lise in his arms, and an empty bottle in her mouth. This was the first time I had ever seen Lise.

She looked a lot like Sodapop. Big, dark blue eyes and cute, chubby cheeks. She had long eyelashes, soft pink lips, and curly golden brown hair, like Kaylyn. Soda refilled the bottle with milk, placing it in Lise's mouth before walking out. Wow. Lise was what I would call, a beautiful baby, who had two beautiful parents. I wanted a baby.
I don't know where that thought came from. It was just, a spur of the moment thing that I thought about, but I wondered what my baby would look like. Would she have my looks, or Pony's- Wait. What was I thinking. Me an' Ponyboy, it just wasn't going to happen.

I was afraid to get into a relationship again, I mean Ponyboy, he was so sweet, caring, and smart, but he had a future. I wasn't so smart, I had no real future but to get pregnant and have a family. I was so surprised that Kaylyn got married, she had a bright future too, but she's making the best of it.

I didn't want to think, I wanted to enjoy myself tonight. And I would.