Disclaimers, acknowledgements, notes, warnings, etc: Please see Chapter 01.

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The Sound of Music Chronicles

Part I

The Twelfth Governess

Chapter 37

An unexpected gift

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"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle."

Sun Tzu

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"The hills are alive
With the sound of music,
With songs they have sung,
For a thousand years.
The hills fill my heart,
With the sound of music.
My heart wants to sing every song it hears.

My heart wants to beat like the wings
Of the birds that rise from the lake
To the trees.
My heart wants to sigh
Like a chime that flies
From a church on a breeze,
To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls
Over stones on its way
To sing through the night,
Like a lark who is learning to pray."

Rodgers & Hammerstein – The Sound of Music

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A few moments earlier…

"Now, where were we? Hah!" he exclaimed, remembering Louisa´s scarf in his hand. He held it up to his eye level.

"Where, may I ask, did the children get these – uh...? He was holding the piece of cloth between his thumb and forefinger, and looking at it like if it was something slimy enough to make him nauseous.

"Play clothes," she provided evenly.

It was obvious, even to her, that such kind of wear was unheard of in an aristocratic family such as his. Well, he had only himself to blame. If he had even listened to her about the need for suitable clothes, she would never have needed to resort to such extremes. While she was growing up, anything could be made into clothes – old curtains, old tablecloths, old linen, so there was nothing out of the ordinary about fact in itself. Naturally she was not naïve to believe that things were not the same in rich families, but it was an emergency situation, and she had to use what she had at hand.

Naturally, he was deaf to all her possible defenses.

"Oh, is that what you call them?" he asked, sardonically.

Yes, she knew that from his half smile and his deceptively playful tone that there was a lot more trouble to come, but she still managed to keep her cool, calm voice.

"I made them - from the drapes that used to hang in my bedroom."

There it was, another confident, slow and sure answer. Sometimes, the best weapon was the truth. Although Maria had never been to war, that was a little something she had learned in life.

"Drapes!" he exclaimed incredulously, flinging the scarf aside with unexpected violence, as, apparently his worst suspicions came true. She admitted that she expected him not to like her brilliant idea for the children´s clothes, but he was reacting like if it was his worst nightmare coming true, a horrid abomination.

"They still had plenty of wear left. The children have been everywhere in them," she added meaningfully, keeping her voice even.

His ire only grew.

"Oh Lord, this is not working!" She meant to disconcert him with the truth, not to anger him even more, if that was possible.

"Do you mean to tell me that my children have been roaming about Salzburg dressed up in nothing but some old drapes?"

"Salzburg did not seem to mind what they were wearing, Captain." He took a step closer to her, and still she tried not to flinch. "Oh, you should see them, they were so happy! And they became very popular, everyone smiled and waved at them. "There go Captain von Trapp´s children", they would say."

He gasped.

"Fräulein, do let me try to get the full picture of this. Did you take my children to the Altstadt dressed like that? Did they walk up and down the Getreidegasse dressed like tattered urchins?"

"Mm-hm. Much better than unhappy little marching machines, don´t you think? They had a marvelous time! I did tell you in my telegram, didn´t I?"

He crossed his arms over his massive chest.

"Are you being iconoclastic on purpose?"

"I beg your pardon?" She mimicked his gesture, crossing her arms too and facing him steadily.

"Irreverent. Nonconforming. Difficult."

"Oh, I know only too well what that means!" One hand flew to her head. "Hmmm… I think Sister Berthe might have applied that word to me before. When I first entered the Abbey, she said I sometimes acted like a heathen…"

"Fräulein!" he yelled.

She shrugged, unaffected by his loud tone of voice.

"I suppose I am, Captain, but you asked for it. You left me no alternative. I tried to talk to you twice before you left, but you would not listen."

"I had no wish to. They have uniforms!" His penetrating gaze was just beginning to affect her in the strangest possible way, even though she knew there was hardly more than anger in its depths.

"Straitjackets, if you'll forgive me."

"I will not forgive you for that." The elegant irony was gone from his voice now.

She chose to answer in the same tone, and raised her voice slightly.

"Captain, with all due respect, I take that back. I am not really asking for your forgiveness. When I was sent here, the Reverend Mother said that I would not have to worry, because I would not be in one of your battleships and..."

"And?"

"Well, she happened to be wrong!"

"So now you are rebelling against your Reverend Mother as well!" He sounded incredulous. "Tell me, what exactly what are you planning to do to the poor woman when you return to that Abbey?"

"Nothing at all! I never considered myself to be a rebel, Captain, but when I see something wrong I do have to say or do something about it."

"Ah ha! But you do not know when to stop, do you?"

She took a deep, calming breath.

"They have uniforms, and answer to whistles. They march…"

"You may not be aware of it, but marching is the best exercise there is, Fräulein…"

"… and stand in a straight line in the order of their age. They read treaties on military history. Frankly, Captain! Your methods may have been right for our glorious Navy, but when applied to children they are completely disastrous."

"Disastrous?"

Immediately, she concluded that she was facing a man who was not exactly used to be told in the face that he was wrong about something.

"Yes, Captain. Your methods are completely wrong, outdated and unnatural."

There, she had said it. That was, more or less, the full extent of what she thought about the running of his household, especially where his children were concerned.

"Hah! You! How dare you to question my methods? You, who most certainly does not know the first thing about raising a family!" The comment hit a sore spot, and she flinched visibly. "I thought so," he said, when he noticed her reaction.

"I am a trained teacher!" she exclaimed. "You must have read my references, I attended the Progressive School in Vienna," her voice trembled.

Taking advantage of her sudden vulnerability, he continued.

"Tell me, isn´t the strict discipline you chose voluntarily to live by just as outdated as my uniforms and whistles? Why is that hideous black habit you wear more adequate than their sailor suits?"

"Because…"

Her eyes opened and closed again – yes, he had a point, and for a moment, her mind was nothing but a huge blank. Her throat tightened, and to her horror, she felt as if she was about to cry, something that she rarely did.

"Because…" she repeated, as he did nothing but to stare ominously at her.

Although he had hurt her with his words, more deeply than she cared to admit, she knew why he had done it. Maria knew the feeling well. She too had been pushed too far, and, whenever that happened, words began pouring out of her mouth without any control, her voice louder and louder.

The answer came to her, and she felt her confidence return as she retorted.

"Because they are children! Ehm…Children cannot do all the things they're supposed to do if they have to worry about spoiling their precious clothes all the time. Children should run, not march, they should roll in the grass and climb trees, build castles with rocks and…"

"I haven't heard them complain yet," he spat.

"Oh well, they wouldn't dare. They love you too much. They fear you too much."

"Fräulein, my children have always been and will always be a credit to my name."

"Not like this, Captain, they aren´t!"

"I realize you may not be familiar with our way of life, considering where you come from, but it is a principle in all distinguished homes that…"

It was his condescending inflection of his voice, more than what he had said, that drove her to the edge.

"Where I come from? Oh, you arrogant, conceited, pompous…!"

The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and what made it worse, and somewhat out of character for her, was that, this time, she did insult him. She was about to end the flow of uncomplimentary words by calling him a presumptuous snob, but her hands covering her own mouth stopped the flow of words just in time. Yet, Captain von Trapp, in spite of his altered state of mind, was too well bred not to realize that he too had gone a little too far.

"I will forget I heard any of that, Fräulein, and in return I ask you to forget what I said before. However – and hear me well, because this shall be my last warning to you - I do not wish to discuss my children in this manner, not with your or anyone else," he said tersely.

"Well, you've got to hear from someone. You're never home long enough."

He clearly resented her accusatory tone, his fists clenched.

"I said I don't want to hear any more from you about my children."

"I know you don't! But you've got to!" He faced her, speechless, and she took full advantage of the brief pause. "Now, take Liesl..."

"You will not say one word about Liesl, Fraulein…"

"She's not a child anymore and if you keep treating her as one you´re going to have a mutiny on your hands."

"O-ho, isn´t she? If your intention is to bring up that despicable aspiring little Nazi, you are wasting your time and mine. I already know."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"Oh Lord, is he really a…"

"He thinks he is," he smirked.

"You see? That is precisely the problem, one of these days you're going to wake up and find she's a woman, and you won't even know her. Friedrich is being more protective of her right now than you are!"

"You are doing it again…"

"Yes, Friedrich. He's a boy but he wants to be a man like you and there's no one to show him how. He is doing the best that he can, but… he is afraid of being himself. He is shy, aloof, he needs your confidence!"

"Don't you dare tell me about my son!"

"Brigitta could tell you about him if you'd let her get close to you. She notices everything. And she always tells the truth, especially when you don´t want to hear it. Yes, she hides behind books all the time, but it is her way of escaping something she is powerless to change."

"Fraulein..."

"Friedrich told me he is interested in Medical School, but Kurt… Kurt is the one who is willing to follow your footsteps in the military. You should see how proud he is when he starts talking about what you did at sea. He idolizes you. Still, he only pretends he's tough not to show how hurt he is when you brush him aside... He is a sensitive boy, he is easily hurt."

"That will do."

"... the way you do all of them. Louisa I don't know about..."

"I said, that will do!"

"... but someone has to find out about her and the little ones just want to be loved. Oh, please, Captain, love them, love them all!"

She finished her speech in a pleading tone, walking towards him. Once more, he seemed completed unaffected.

"I don't care to hear anything further from you about my children!"

"I am not finished yet, Captain!"

"Oh, yes, you are, Captain!" Maria looked at him, surprised at his slip of tongue. Before she could say to him that she had been called many things in life before, but never had the privilege and the honor to be addressed as Captain, he shook his head impatiently and corrected himself. "… Fräulein. Now, you will pack your things this minute..."

Maria wanted to listen to him, but other sounds began to attract her attention. Children's voices raised in song – the von Trapp children.

"The hills are alive…"

"At last," she thought. In truth, she had been afraid the children would lose their nerve after the awful scene and forget all about the song for the Baroness. The Captain´s next words, however, quenched the small glimmer of hope that began growing in her heart when she heard the children singing.

"... and return to the Abbey…" he was saying.

There, the final verdict. The one she had been expecting, and that had given her courage to fight that final battle with him. A battle she entered convinced that she had nothing to lose, and now, strangely, she felt like she had lost everything.

"With the sound of music..."

"What's that?" Was his abrupt question when the sounds of the children's voices invaded his brain.

Maria could only state the obvious.

"It's singing."

Yes, it most certainly was singing. What baffled her was that she had been responsible for it. Until that moment, she had not fully realized that she had actually done a superb job coaching those seven children. As far as she could tell, their pitch was nearly perfect, even though they were nervous about performing for the first time in front of strangers. Even Friedrich was managing to keep some measure of control in his changing voice.

"With songs they have sung..."

"I´ve done it. I´ve really, really done it!" She told herself. Everything else about her task may have turned out to be a disaster, but not this. She had done it alone, without Sister Katherine´s help, without the help of anyone else in the convent. She only would have to share her merit with the children, and she would gladly do so, because for the rest of her life, Maria would remember that moment as the one she realized she was actually good at something.

What an overwhelming feeling it was! She loved the Abbey dearly, but with all she heard from the nuns was criticism. Sometimes their words were kind, when they came from the Reverend Mother or Sister Margaretta, but most of the times, they were merely brutal. Every little flaw was criticized, from her appearance to her behavior. And Maria had tried to behave accordingly, to look accordingly, she really tried to fix everything, but they always found something else that was wrong with her. Yes, the nuns loved to point out everything that was wrong with her. Very rarely she was told about what she was doing right. Looking back, years later, she would realize that it was a miracle that she left the convent with her self confidence intact.

But this…

Now she needed not to be told, she was listening to it, to something she had done right and excelled at. So much that she knew for certain that she was about to render the illustrious Captain Georg von Trapp absolutely speechless.

"Yes, I realize it's singing but who is singing?" he interrupted her thoughts.

"For a thousand years..."

"The children."

She had stated the obvious again, and yet, it was evidently far from obvious to the Captain.

"The children?" He whispered. Astonished, he turned his head towards the house.

"The hills fill my heart..."

"I taught them something to sing for the Baroness," she started to explain, but he was hardly listening to her. He strode to the house.

Mutely, she watched him go, not daring to think about what could happen next.