Starry Skies Chapter - 13

Call a Botonist

Charlotte's P.O.V:

Trying to feign indifference to my new discoveries, I shrugged and let my mouth disengage. What came out was: "Touchy, touchy. Everyone knows song writing guitarist is the sexiest combination to set foot in music history. Oh, but you don't do anything of the sort, so.. never mind. Anyway. Ice-burg lettuce. How 'bout it?"

It really was very satisfying watching his eyes bulge the tiniest bit. I was turning into such a twisted, sinister soul...and loved every second of it. For once, I was the one to smirk. But only for around three seconds. My target quickly sobered up. Darn.

"Exactly. I don't. And actually, I prefer arugula. But hey, it's just an opinion."

Grrr. "Fine then. Act like I have no idea what was in that book."

" I will thanks" He breezed past me to return said book to it's shelf.

"Aw, c'mooooon, I won't tell anyone. Pinky swear!" I pouted for effect.

"You're pushy."

"You're such a Mystery Guitar Man, and you know it. You should be sued for imitation of popular YouTube stars."

He laughed, "Maybe so, but at least– Hey!"

I snatched the book of it's shelf and did a little victory dance. Ooooh I was good."Haha you admitted it!"

"Did not !" He snarled and made a grab for the book. I thwacked his hand away, and bounded out the door with unrequited robust.

"Did too!" I shrieked streaked down the hall knowing full well he was probably centimeters behind.

I made it to the front porch, the screen door just shutting when Jake slammed it back against the wall. Oh ho ho, he was mad. I watched curiously as he jumped the rail and went for the hose, smiling broadly though I still had "his precious". Maybe not so mad. Still.

"What're you doing?" I pff-ed sarcastically.

Uncoiling with one hand and twisting faucet in the other, he yelled "Freeze!" just as I'd made my way over take a peek, pointing the nozzle at my head.

Doggone it, he's managed to outfox the fox herself, I thought to myself. I inwardly promised that next time he wouldn't have time to make it to the hose. "Revenge would be mine," you could say. I lightly tossed the book in a patch of chrysanthemums, throwing my hands up in play surrender.

"All right, all right! You win!" I struggled to keep a serious face.

His smile widened even further, "No can do ma'am. I've got a duty to my country."

"Oh?" I cracked a smile in return. "And just what is that?"

"PAYBACK!" He bellowed, and a spray of pressurized water soaked me through in one go.

"Hey, no fair!" I shrieked, dodging the showers of water though I was already sopping wet.

In a move of sheer impunity, I careered into him and the hose went wild. Effectively drenching both of us as it surged in all directions. Pure hilarity weakened our judgement, making it even harder to capture. My hair plastered itself to my eyes in an attempt to blind me, but I managed to shove it away just in time to see the hose in question heading full blast towards me. CRACK.

"AUUUUGHH! I'm dying!" I somehow cried/cackled; falling to my knees. The hose was finally put under control and shut off. I heard the quiet thud of impact after Jacob thrust it out of the way.

I felt him looking at me while I roared with uncontrollable laughter. It hurt so bad, but for some reason, whenever I get really hurt it just cracks me up. Like my brain is going "Oh crap, Charlottes gonna die; better have her go laughing merrily than the other way 'round. Heaven forbid people think she dies like a normal person."

Once I went to Lake Tahoe with a good friend of mine. We had a wrestling match on the squeaky hotel beds, and of course I accidentally rolled off to ricocheted my head off a wall. It took them forever to figure out I was actually injured. Who knew I could guffaw so loudly. Point was; I looked like a total weirdo and Jacob had no idea what the heck I was doing.

"Uhm, are you okay?" he bent down and lifted a lock of wet hair to inspect the damage.

"Hahahahaha! Ohhhhh god! HAH!– yeah– I'm– NGHHAHAA!–fine!" I managed.

He gave me a funny look. I still couldn't stop. Imagine a shark gnawing your leg off with rabid piranhas work on your arms while a whale shreds everyone though it's mouth filter thing: Only ten times worse; and you'll be right around where my mentality was about then. Might I mention, the hose nozzle was made of iron and not that cushy plastic you find at Walmart.

"Holy crap, your head's bleeding."

Uh oh. The laugh attack stopped dead in its tracks. Blood. Blood's okay for me if it's in the movies or on T.V, but if I so much as catch a glimpse of it, I start to get queasy. Just my blood, weirdo that I am. If it's anyone else's I'm not affected that much because it's not like I can feel it flowing out atop the floor in a gushy crimson mess. But if it's mine, it's utterly unbearable. I hate that feeling of release. Cracking knuckles, popping zits, skinning knees; it all just drives me insane.

In other words this was bad; horrible–

"Fantastic," I groaned.

He didn't reply. Just squinted at my head some more and then–

"What the...?"

"What? What is it? Oh my god, am I losing brain tissue? I DON'T WANT TO BE MENTALLY DISABLED!"

"Charlotte, calm down! You're not leaking brains, you...you..."

Dear lord. "I what?"

Before I could stop him, Jake reached down and brushed his fingers against the gash. Oddly, it didn't hurt that bad. Kind of like a heat pack for sore joints. My dad used those a lot when he used to play golf. One time he eve–

"You're bleeding clear."

"Okay, will you quit interrupting my thought process? Thank you! ...Wait. What?" I moved to feel my forehead, but only got half way before Jacob flipped me onto my back, moving in closer.

"Woah! Okay, what's going on?" I started before he cut me off. Once again.

"I think it's some sort of resin...looks topiary. But that's impossible." His eyes widened. "O-oh god, it's just pouring out– But where the heck am I going to find a doctor who knows about this stuff? What's going on?" He howled, hysterical.

I watched as he went into panic mode. Funny kid. Mmn...my eyesight went a bit wonky. Did Jacob always have such a willowy face, or did everything always ripple out like that? I felt a little woozy.

"I dunno..." I garbled, "Call a botonist."

Everything went black.