Suburban hell.
Parking behind a hideously mundane minivan with soccer balls and lawn chairs cluttering the back window in all its mediocre glory, Brian groused at the perfectly trimmed front lawn that gave way to a two-story cookie cutter house with white paneling and red shutters. The front yard was cluttered with toys and various other kid-friendly apparatuses.
He could practically taste the bile that rose in his throat at the mere thought of such a bland existence.
What the fuck was he doing here and how did he get stuck with kiddie chauffer duty?
Right, when his options were to either pick Suvi up from her play-date or tag along while Daphne and Jennifer went shopping for baby paraphernalia that would no-doubt included lots of cooing and squealing.
Instead, Brian had gladly handed over the credit card in to Justin's capable hands and wished them well in their rather abhorrent expedition.
Completing his part of the trade-off, Brian eased his way out of the large SUV and made his way up the too-perfect walk-way leading to the front door that held some hand-made sign welcoming visitors and pets alike. Brian couldn't stop his eyes from rolling in to the back of his head. Sure the grounds of Britin were immaculately kept up but he'd willingly paid someone else to maintain that rather monotonous aspect of home ownership. He enjoyed having a nice yard and clean house at all times, but he would just as soon burn his favorite Prada loafers before he would sit his ass down on a lawnmower. That is what landscapers and cleaning services were for. He pitied the poor schmucks whose wives nagged them with their never-ending honey-do lists. The only honey-do list Justin ever expected him to accomplish usually produced itself in the form of the rather brilliant "honey, do me" variety that he was only too happy to fulfill.
Knocking swiftly, Brian hoped to get this over and done with as quickly as possible. If he was lucky, he wouldn't even have to venture in to the god-forsaken house.
The door swung open and any hopes of a quick escape were dashed when Brian's gaze met that of a tall, blonde woman he vaguely remembered from Suvi's last birthday party when his house has been taken over by sticky-fingered munchkins and their equally excitable mothers. The blonde was flanked by three other women who wore mirrored expressions of appreciation as they looked over Brian's lean body.
"Mr. Kinney, what a surprise." The blonde laughed; her voice fluttering as she subtly elbowed the women behind her so she could distance herself from them as she took a step forward. "Daphne didn't mention you would be picking up."
What was her name again? Charlene…no Darlene…fuck it. There was a reason he hadn't bothered to remember it in the first place.
"I didn't believe that was necessary. Does this present a problem of some sort?" Brian bit back the growl that was settling comfortably in his throat at the woman's none-to-subtle advances.
Waving her hands frantically between them, the woman motioned for Brian to follow her in to the house. "No, of course not! Like I said, just a surprise – a very nice surprise." She nearly purred.
The woman actually batted her eyelashes at him. What the fuck? This woman knew that she was anything but his type as he was never one to hide his preference for the male persuasion.
One male in particular.
This woman was persistent, he had to give her that. Brian willed his eyes not to roll back in to his head, once again, at the woman's flakiness when he glanced pointedly to the wedding ring that adorned her finger. Fidgeting nervously, the blonde rolled the ring around her finger before placing both hands behind her back as her cheeks became inflamed.
Sighing heavily, Brian forced his most charming smile as he strode in to the living room. The women followed so closely he could smell their sickeningly sweet perfume. "Well, I just need to get Suvi back home for dinner, so if you wouldn't mind…" Brian motioned towards the second floor, hoping the woman would get the hint and go fetch the child in question.
Before she could respond a loud burst of giggling sounded from directly above them as multiple sets of little feet could be heard running towards the stairs.
This woman was useless.
Before she even attempted to remove herself from her spot beside Brian, a herd of shrieking girls ran down the stairs, led at the front by Suvi much to Brian's relief as she walked purposefully towards him. Distancing himself from the women who seemed to inch closer to him with each uncomfortably slow second that passed, Brian made his way towards the little girl. As he moved to scoop her up, and possibly shield himself from the tactless women if need be, Suvi stopped him with an outstretched hand.
Stopping in his tracks, Brian's lip curled up slightly when she placed both hands on her hips before fixing him with searching eyes.
"Are you ready to head home?" Brian asked.
Seemingly ignoring his question, Suvi's eyes swept up and down Brian in contemplation as she studied his face in particular, before she finally spoke, her head cocking to the side. "Are you my daddy?"
All the air left Brian's lungs as Suvi remained defiantly perched at his feet; the girls behind her giggled conspiratorially as audible gasps assaulted him from behind.
Fuck my life…
Brian quickly gathered Suvi's affects from the outstretched hands of the nervous-looking blonde, scooped the protesting girl in to his arms; not bothering to acknowledge the woman's appeal for him to return at any time in the future, as he made his way out of the claustrophobic house. Approaching the car with silent determination, Brian helped the child settle in to her booster seat before he took his place behind the wheel.
He took a couple deep breathes, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
Just let me get home!
Suvi bounced her legs stubbornly against the seat as the mental countdown to her verbal barrage began.
3…2…1…
"You never said! Are you my daddy?"
Looking in to the rearview mirror, Brian held her gaze for a second before he returned to the task at hand. Getting them home safely, in one piece…so her mother could handle this disaster.
What the fuck was he supposed to say? He couldn't just ignore her the entire way home, much as he'd like to.
Clearing his throat, Brian pressed on. "Why would you think that?"
"Kirsten said that her daddy helped her learn how to ride her big girl bike. You helped me with my big girl bike after you almost hit Uncle Juss with that wrench thing when you got mad and said a bunch of bad words, remember? And Sally's daddy gives her ice cream sometimes before dinner when her mommy isn't watching…you give me chocolate until mommy yells at you even though I always eat all my dinner." Suvi stated proudly.
Brian was suddenly convinced that nothing good ever came from these damn play dates. All those little ankle bitters swapping stories and comparing notes; planning sneak attacks on unsuspecting adults that were only there to pick them up by way of harmlessly avoiding shopping.
Suvi continued behind him. "But Uncle Juss lets me paint with him and he taught me how to swim like Rebecca's daddy did with her. Maybe he's my daddy? Ohhh, Billy's daddies both talk like Uncle Em but they don't wear his pretty clothes. Is Uncle Em my daddy?"
All the campaign pitches he pulled out of his ass on the spot over the years and this was what was going to do him in?
Brian Kinney; taken down by a three-year old little girl.
"Why are you asking this now?" Brian pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to ward off the building headache that was starting to pound behind his eyes.
"I told Sarah about mommy having a baby in her belly and Bre told me that her mommy had a baby in her belly but he was a boy, gross!" Suvi wrinkled her nose in disgust causing Brian to momentarily abandon his freak-out to appreciate her candidness. "Her mommy and daddy kissed and cuddled a lot and mommy and Uncle Juss cuddle a lot too and kiss. Uncle Juss said the baby would have two daddies, one mommy, and I would be the big sister." Suvi declared.
Following the mental progression of the toddler, Brian could understand how easily she would get confused in the simplistic description her traitorous friends had provided. How could he explain the different between innocent cuddling and "cuddling" that often led to screaming babies after nine months?
Turning down their driveway, Brian couldn't remember the last time he had been so relieved to be home. He needed distractions for the girl until her mother got home. Television, movies, chocolate; hell money…at this point, he was willing to offer up the 'vette if he thought she would end this horrid inquiry.
Pulling in to the spacious garage, Brian helped Suvi out of her seat and ushered her in to the house and straight to the den. Piling sketch pads, coloring books, and crayons in front of her, he turned the television on and stepped just outside of the room hoping the visual distractions would hold her at bay for a while.
Dialing the familiar number, Brian paced back and forth in the foyer waiting for an answer. "We're almost done, I swear. And I think you'll be surprised with what we got…" Justin rushed in greeting, clearly expecting Brian's concerns to be placed elsewhere.
"Justin…Justin, can you shut the fuck up for a second." He pleaded as he poked his head back in to the den only to find Suvi sitting quietly at the table with a blue crayon in her hand; her tongue sticking out slightly in concentration as she drew on the blank construction paper. "Listen, I don't care if you bought the entire Toys-R-Us inventory…I need you and Daph to get home NOW! It's an emergency." Brian hung up quickly when Suvi bounced around the corner and tugged on his shirt.
Flinching in preparation for the next wave of questions, Brian otherwise remained still.
"I'm thirsty." Came the simple request.
Breathing out heavily, Brian led the way in to the kitchen. This he could do. Grabbing out a juice box and throwing some grapes in to a bowl, Brian felt a small level of accomplishment at his ability to provide a healthy snack for the child. He didn't ALWAYS feed her junk.
Only when he was sending her off with her mother, of course.
Fifteen minutes later, the door burst open as Daphne and Justin ran in to the house, both gasping for air, as the scene they came upon was not what they had expected. Suvi was preoccupied in the den, but it was Brian who quickly took their concern. He was pacing back and forth, his hands bunched in his hair; and he was mumbling to himself until he caught sight of them.
He sighed in relief.
"What's wrong?" Daphne nearly shrieked as she looked back and forth between her daughter and the older man.
"She is never to go to one of those fucking play dates ever again." Brian's voice rose as he pointed in the direction of the den. "Justin, I swear, if you ever even think about sending our kid to one of those, I will divorce you on the spot." Justin let out the breath he had been holding when it was clear nothing was wrong…at least not immediately.
Daphne's eyes flashed as she stalked towards Brian, causing the older man to take a few steps back in surprise. Her fist connected with his upper arm with a deep thud. "Don't you ever fucking scare me like that again. Do you know how many terrible things ran through my mind in the ride from the store to here? If you ever do that to me again, I will kill you." Daphne yelled as she sagged a little from the rush of adrenaline coursing through her body. "Fuck I need to sit down."
Justin grabbed her elbow and directed her towards the kitchen as he helped her to a chair at the table. He pulled the bag of grapes out of the fridge and tossed them to his friend. Daphne ate a couple grapes and took a couple minutes to compose herself before she looked back to Brian. "Now, explain to me what this big emergency was and why play dates are forever banned."
"First of all, have you seen those vultures that you left her with? I mean, Madame Bovary would be proud! Secondly, I'm trying to fend off the greater population of Cougarville when Suvi walks right up to me, and in front of everyone, asks me if I am her father." Justin gasped in shock, but it was Daphne's subsequent giggling that surprised Brian the most. "She never asked those questions until she went over there. Those other little brats are clearly corrupting her and planting these little seeds in her mind. Next she'll be asking about sex and…" Brian couldn't continue down that awful train of thought. He shuddered audibly.
Daphne laughed once more before she stood up. "Brian, you are a highly intelligent man…you own your own successful advertising company for god's sake. People pay you to understand things that others might not pick up on. How is it this foreign to you the idea that Suvi would think you could be her father? Logically, you and Justin are the two closest men in her life, by a long shot. It's only natural that she would think this. How could you not see this coming a mile away?" She asked.
"You mean, you knew this would happen?" Brian implored.
Daphne shrugged her shoulders. "Eventually, yeah, I kind of figured it would come up at some point."
"And you never thought to give a heads up?" Brian threw his hands in the air.
Daphne's exasperation grew. "Frankly, I didn't think I would have to spell it out for you. Look, we all know you deal with emotions differently than most, but sometimes I wonder if you understand people…like at all."
Brian looked to Justin, who simply shrugged his shoulders in partial agreement with his best friend. In all the ways Brian had changed over the years, he still seemed stunted when it came to grasping the expected normal workings of those around him.
Daphne's expressions softened. "I'm sorry she bombarded you with this. I probably should have warned you that this would likely become an issue at some point." Though Brian had become closer to Gus over the last few years, he had always taken to fatherhood in an almost manic fashion. He could go weeks without speaking to Gus only to turn around and talk to him on the phone every night for weeks on end. He feared his place in Gus's life; a matter that Daphne understood came from his issues with his own father, as well as the varying stance Lindsay and Mel took when dealing with his rightful place. While never done in malice, they had always given off hot and cold vibes as far as Brian was concerned. One minute they implored him to be more active in his son's life and the other they were requesting that he respect their boundaries as Gus' mothers.
Daphne assumed Suvi's little inquisition likely fucked with his head in all the wrong ways. She looked from Brian to Justin, her lips turning ever so slightly in to a frown. "We never really, REALLY, discussed how everything would be when I had Suvi. We have kind of just taken it day by day in a lot of ways and now I am wondering if I have let this all get too far. Yes, this is a normal question for a girl in Suvi's position to have, but it's also not fair to assume that you both would be okay with it all. So many things have, and are about to change, that I think it might help to put a little distance between us. If only to let you guys have your own lives…at least until the baby comes…and maybe establish better boundaries with Suvi. This is an issue that you both shouldn't be expected to deal with."
Daphne moved towards the den but stopped when Brian grabbed her elbow. "Look, if I didn't want the two of you around so much, I wouldn't have built the cottage practically in our back yard. What we've got going on is fine. Let's just deal with this issue like all the others; head on."
Brian waited for Daphne to respond. She thought for a moment before her lips curled in to a knowing grin. Pulling herself up on to her toes, she quickly placed a kiss to Brian's cheek before turning back to Justin who had remained silent during the exchange. One thing she always loved about her best friend was his ability to understand when it was best to let others deal with their issues without interfering.
Daphne repeated the action with the blonde when he offered her a reassuring smile. Grabbing his hand, the three adults squared their shoulders and prepared for battle.
Suvi had remained where Brian had left her with her snack; coloring by the television, responding to the inane questions the children's television program was asking about shapes and numbers, without ever looking up from the coloring book in front of her. Daphne walked in front of her and turned off the TV. Suvi looked up, noticing her mom for the first time and smiled.
"Hello, mommy."
"Hi, baby." Daphne softly responded, running her fingers through her daughter's messy curls. "I think we need to talk."
Suvi's eyes clouded in concerned apprehension. "I was good today over at Sarah's house, I promise. I didn't take Sarah's toys again, I shared my barbies just like Uncle Juss told me to."
Justin smiled brightly at the girl's words. He had been working with her on the finer points of sharing. Being the only child – when Gus wasn't visiting – among three adults who catered to her every whim had left the girl at a large social disadvantage.
"I know you were, baby, and I am so proud of you. But when Uncle Bri came and picked you up, do you remember what you asked him?" Daphne inquired as she motioned towards where Brian stood next to Justin behind the little girl. Suvi turned around to take in her uncles' presence before returning her attention to her mother.
"I asked Uncle Bri if he was my daddy?"
Daphne nodded, allowing her daughter to steer the conversation. She was beyond interested in how that little mind was working at the moment.
"Is he? Bre told me that he was…she also said he's cute which is gross." Suvi informed the three, her face screwing up in to a sour expression as she stuck her tongue out.
Brian smirked.
"No baby he's not your daddy." Daphne crouched down until she was eye level with the girl. "And neither is Uncle Juss."
The toddler's face fell. Daphne's heart broke at the sad expression that graced her daughter's beautiful face. "They would be awesome daddies, though, wouldn't they?"
Suvi nodded her head enthusiastically.
Looking to the men, but focusing on the brunette, Daphne quirked her eye brow at him, hoping he understood the point she was trying to make. She knew that he still struggled with the idea that he could be a good father…Daphne just hoped that Suvi's apparent endorsement would help to assuage some of those fears.
Justin broke away from Brian's side to sit down next to Daphne. He took the little girl's hand in his and smiled. "We may not be your daddies, but we love you very much. Just as much as we love Gus, do you understand?" Justin searched her face.
Her nose scrunched in contemplation. "I think so."
Daphne thought carefully about how she could explain the situation to Suvi in a way that the little girl could understand. She very well couldn't tell her daughter that she was the product of a one night stand – the result of too much alcohol and too little inhibitions when Brian and Justin had taken her on a Caribbean cruise for her birthday four years ago. The men's sole mission during that trip seemed to be to get her laid after a rather long dry-run. Their determination, coupled with an apparent faulty condom, had resulted in the appearance of the little pink line two months later.
Daphne forged ahead. "Honey, sometimes when a baby is born there isn't a daddy around for lots of reasons…"
"But Sarah said there HAS to be a mommy and a daddy." Suvi corrected.
When Daphne paused for a moment, she threw a pleading glance towards the two men. Brian watched as Daphne and Justin silently debated their options. Pushing the sleeves of his black shirt up to his elbows, Brian quickly calculated the task at hand and formulated the best response his many years in advertising and all around bull-shitting had afforded him. Motioning for Justin and Daphne to part ways, Brian settled down in front of the child.
"Suvi?" He questioned as the girl nodded for him to continue. "Ok, Sarah has a mommy and a daddy, right?" Suvi nodded. "Bre and Kirsten both have mommies and daddies, too, right?" The girl nodded again. "But Billy has two daddies, doesn't he?" Once again, the girl nodded. "And your one little friend…" Brian turned towards Daphne, "the little know-it-all with the freckles and the small ears?"
Daphne laughed at his description as she recalled the child in question. "Maddy?"
"Yes, Maddy!" Brian exclaimed as he turned back to Suvi. "Maddy only has a daddy, right?"
Suvi nodded once more.
"See, not everyone has a mommy and a daddy. Some kids have two mommies, like Gus, or two daddies, like Billy and some only have a daddy, like Maddy, and some only have a mommy, like you."
Suvi thought about that concept for a minute, still unsure as to whether she could fully accept that explanation.
Justin spoke up, scooting closer in to Brian's side. "You may not have a daddy, but you've got so many other people who love you, you know! Like Grandma Deb and Grandma Jenn, all your uncles, Aunt Mel and Aunt Linds, and Hunter and Gus and even JR."
Suvi's face lit up. "Uncle Drew is funny! He let me and Uncle Em put lipstick on him last time."
"Kinky!" Brian whispered, receiving an elbow to his stomach from the blonde.
Suvi began to giggle. "What did you say Uncle Bri?"
Brian looked helplessly from Daphne to Justin as the two were more than happy to leave the man floundering in his own mess. He grinned devilishly when an idea came to mind. "Twinky. I was wondering who here would like a twinky?"
The little girl started jumping up and down, her little hand waving frantically in the air. "Me, me, me!" Suvi took off for the kitchen, forgetting completely about the conversation they had just had. Crisis averted…
At least for now.
The three adults rose from the couch.
"Nice save." Justin laughed as he threw his arms around the brunette's neck.
"You know," Daphne started as she headed towards the kitchen in search of her scavenging daughter, "for a couple of non-daddies, you both just saved the day, and saved a little girl from what could have been a very upsetting and confusing conversation. Once again – Rage and J.T. to the rescue." With a wink, Daphne disappeared around the corner.
"I still can't believe you said that in front of her." Justin laughed as he began to place soft kisses on the under-side of Brian's perfectly sculpted jaw.
"Just wait until little miss EmmyLou finds out that I know his and the beefcakes dirty little secret." Brian groaned as he leaned in to the pressing kisses.
Justin's lips left his skin immediately. "You wouldn't?" Justin gasped.
"The fuck I wouldn't!" With a wicked grin, Brian grabbed the back of Justin's neck and pulled the man back towards him. Their lips met feverishly. Justin laughed happily against Brian's lips causing him to groan at the sensation. Before they could progress any further both men were pulled back to reality by a hand tugging on both of their shirts.
Pulling back slightly, they both looked down to the girl at their feet. "Can I help you?" Brian asked, licking his dry lips when he saw how flushed Justin's skin had become.
"All the twinkies are gone." Suvi explained expectantly.
Brian couldn't resist the temptation as he leaned in to Justin's neck, whispering softly in his ear. "They're not all gone. I've got my own life-size twinky right here." With that, his hand traveled down the blonde's back to pinch his ass.
Justin jumped slightly but smiled at the girl. "Well then, it looks like Uncle Bri is going to have to go get us some, don't you think?"
Brian shot him a cutting glare. Justin knew that the only thing Brian would hate more than actually consuming one of the cream-filled, carb-laden snacks was if someone actually saw him buying them.
Daphne strolled back in to the room, a smug smile pulling at her lips; having heard Justin's last statement. "I think that would be perfect." Bending down, Daphne glanced up briefly towards the brunette before imploring her daughter enthusiastically. "I bet if you asked really nicely, Uncle Bri would let you go with him."
Brian didn't even attempt to hide the groan that formed in the deepest recesses of his throat. "What the…"
Justin clamped his hand over his mouth quickly. "Language!" Justin practically sang.
Brian matched his falsetto. "I think the little rugrat and I have had enough car bonding time for one lifetime."
Suvi worked her best puppy-dog eyes that she knew he couldn't resist. "Please Uncle Bri?"
Fuck me! "All right munchkin, let's go." Brian grabbed his keys off the table in the foyer, directing the girl back towards the garage in which they had entered not long before. As they reached the door, Brian turned back towards the giggling pair. Pointing towards Justin, Brian stated in a warning tone. "My own, personal twinky better be ready when I get back."
Opening the door, Brian waited for Suvi to step down in to the garage. The little girl's eyes grew large. "Uncle Bri, you have your own twinky? That's not fair, do I get my own twinky? How come you don't have to share? Uncle Juss said…"
The pair laughed even louder when Brian groaned once more. As the door shut behind them, the two strained unsuccessfully to catch his answer knowing any revenge he would serve up would be well worth it in the end just to see the great Brian Kinney squirm under the innocent questioning of a three year old little girl.
A/N – I can't apologize enough for the amount of time between the last chapter and this one! All I can say is that I just got back from being in Florida for 3 weeks, and while that seems like it would be a nice, relaxing vacation, it proved to be anything but. We dealt with relatives passing away, my best friend being kicked out of her house by her parents (because they are weird and have always treated her badly) so now I have a roommate, haha! On top of that, there were injuries and hurricanes, lol! Basically, if you can think it up, it happened! But enough of that, I have been working on this chapter pretty much the entire time I was down there whenever I could sneak away to grab some time alone.
I hope this is at least somewhat worth the wait and while the subsequent chapters won't be spaced nearly as far apart, I can't guarantee my pre-vacation timing of approximately 2 chapters a week. Sharing a room is affording me little privacy except when she is at work. So please bear with me, but I promise to work as quickly as possible on the next chapter!
As always, reviews make me super happy and motivate me to work harder and quicker! Thanks to everyone who has been reading (whether you review or not)…it means the world to me!
Evelyn