17.

I barely made it down the stairs when I heard Alice's door open again and her soft foot falls moving towards Carlisle's office. A soft knock, then the door creaked open.

"Carlisle, there's something I should tell you."

I halted, wondering if she was going to tell him about John's wish. But her mind was on something else entirely. "The Volturi are on their way."

"I suppose it was to be expected."

"Somehow they heard about what happened in the forest with Camila and her friends."

There was a long pause and then a sigh. "Tell the others."

"Yes, of course."

I heard the front door open and close as Edward and Bella, followed by Renesme came in.

"Did you hear?" I asked Edward softly.

He nodded.

Of course he'd heard, I thought, feeling stupid. This whole thing with John was disrupting my thought process.

Edward looked at me and gave me a small smile, as if to say that everything would be all right.

"Oh good!" Alice exclaimed as she came down the stairs, spotting us. Jasper was right on her heels, Carlisle and Esme close behind. Emmett and Rose brought up the rear, holding hands as they ran. "You heard, Edward."

"How long?"

"They're moving fast, an hour, two tops."

"Edward?"

"They're not coming to fight. They just want to get facts and make sure the situation is under control."

"Good. But just in case, let's keep John far away from this. We don't need the Volturi making any threats."

Everyone nodded and I wondered what kinds of other threats the Volturi had made against the Cullens. Perhaps something to do with Bella, I mussed.

"Lisa, why don't you tell John to stay in the cabin for now until we say it's safe."

A lump formed in my throat. I prayed that John wouldn't bring up anything about our last conversation. Edward squeezed my arm softly.

It'll be all right, Lisa.

"Okay," I said slowly as I moved off. I walked slowly to the cabin and stood for several moments in front of the door. For a moment I thought I could see faces in the wood grain, leering at me, but I knew it was simply my nerves. I cracked the door open. John sat in a chair in the middle of the room, waiting. His head flew up when he heard the door creak. "Lisa?"

I took in a silent breath and stepped into the cabin. "John."

He stood and moved towards me. "Lisa, you've got to listen to me –"

I cut him off with a finger to his warm lips when he reached me. "Please, John, not now."

He heard the worry I my voice and went quiet. His face fell slowly. "What is it?"

He thinks I'm going to say 'no'.

A little voice in the back of my head whispered, Does that mean you won't say 'no'?

I ignored it. I wasn't going to have this conversation with myself right now. "The Volturi are coming here." John's eyebrows shot up in surprise, then furrowed in worry. "They just want to get the facts about what happened with Camila. But it's best you stay out of sight until they're gone."

John nodded. "Of course." His hand fell away from mine. There was a slight quiver in his lip and I knew what John was thinking; he thinks I'm mad at him.

"John," I whispered, cupping his face with my hands. "I'm not mad at you. I just… need time."

John's eyes searched mine.

"Can you give me time to think about it, please?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but I interrupted him again. "I love you, John. Please don't make this harder than it needs to be."

Slowly he nodded. My hands fell away from his face. I pulled him into a hug, kissing the top of his head. "I love you so much, John."

I felt him relax against me. "I know," he whispered brokenly. "I'm hoping that's enough," he added.

His head turned towards mine and I kissed him softly on the lips. A strand of hair fell in to his eyes and I brushed it back. I thought about how much I had wanted him to want to be like me, but now that I was given the choice, I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore. I wanted to spend forever with this man, but I never realized it might mean having to steal away the life he knew.

I snuggled my cheek into the side of his head and closed my eyes. The lump in my throat grew as I listed to his heart beating.

Finally I pulled away enough to see his face. "I've got to get back to the house."

He nodded. "I'll see you soon."

Reluctantly I stepped out of his hug and made my way to the door. I paused there, my hand resting on the wood paneling. "When I found you lying in that clearing, with all those vampires around you, I vowed to myself that I would never let anything or anyone hurt you again."

He didn't respond or move. Finally I turned around to face him. Looking into his eyes, I knew what it was I wanted. I wanted to turn him; I wanted to spend forever with him. "I'm having a hard time keeping that promise."

And then I was out the door and making my way back to the house. Conflicting emotions were waging a battle in my heart. Bella was standing outside the door, apparently waiting for me.

I stopped in front of her and we watched each other for a few minutes.

"Edward told me," was all she said.

I nodded. I wrapped my arms around my waist.

"I just wanted to tell you that this is not a spur-of-the-moment decision he's making. He's thought about it and he knows what it means."

"You don't regret anything?"

She shook her head. "If I could do it again, I would do it over and over. This is the best decision I've made in my life."

My face must have shown my disagreement.

"I love Edward. And now, I am able to love him forever. That's all John is asking you for."

"To let him love me forever," I mumbled.

She nodded. Her lips curled upwards softly at the edges. "If you want this, then you shouldn't deny both of you what you want."

I knew what she was doing. She was playing up my feelings, giving me a sort of guilt trip.

"Sorry, but I had to say it," she said with a smile.

I laughed. "Of course you did, Bella."

Her face turned serious again. "I know how much this would mean to both of you. I just want you to make the right decision."

I nodded. "Thanks," I answered slowly.

"Come on, let's go inside."

I followed her into the house.