"Unhappy me! Remind me not of him:
Tell me of all the torturing pangs of conscience,
But speak not, I implore you, of my father!"
- Friedrich Schiller, "Don Carlos"
It was time for Schiller again... ;) The quote may be a bit melodramatic, but that's Schiller for you... if you think that Jim's got Daddy issues, read "Don Carlos". Carlos' Dad not only believes his son wants to steal his crown, but he also marries the woman junior's in love with and tries to corrupt his best friend. The end is classic Schiller - everybody ends up either dead or permanently unhappy.
"Bones told us to check in with them, remember?" Jim said to Spock as they approached the house. "He said it was for Sarek's, Nyota's and Chris' sake, but I suspect it was more about his worries than theirs… after all, we've already seen quite a bit of your father today, Nyota hasn't even called and Chris probably knows that we couldn't get into a whole lot of trouble here."
"I am quite convinced he would violently object to that assumption," Spock replied, sounding amused. "I think he has sat through enough disciplinary hearings and at inquests to know that you at the very least could get in trouble anywhere."
"Hey! It's not exactly my fault. Trouble usually finds me, not the other way round!" He rang the old-fashioned bell and listen to the familiar, cheerful chime. "Besides, I've got you to rescue me, haven't I?", he added in an afterthought.
"Keeping the Captain alive is part of a first officer's job description," Spock agreed.
Jim was about to make a sly comment, when the door opened and Leonard stepped out.
"Jim. Spock." He frowned-
"Hi, Bones. You don't look particularly happy to see us. We didn't interrupt anything… did we?" The accompanying grin left no doubts as to what the question hinted at.
Leonard rolled his eyes. "It's not that. We have guests, though."
"And they aren't presentable?" Jim assumed. "You asked us to come, remember?"
Leonard sighed. "Yes, but… never mind. Come in. We might as well get the family reunion over with."
"What, another one?"
Leonard nodded. "This time, though, it's not 'meet the parents' but 'meet the kids'. Or rather, kid. Carol and David Marcus are here."
"Oh." Well, wasn't that thrilling. Jim looked at Spock, who offered a nod of encouragement, but little else. He'd have to figure this one out for himself. Huh.
"Bones… what do you say to an ex-girlfriend who's the mother of your child?" Jim asked, only half joking, hating the feeling of insecurity that had taken hold of him.
"How about 'sorry, I've been a complete asshole'?" Leonard suggested.
"Bones! You're not helping. Besides, it was her fault, too."
Leonard shrugged. "Just be honest with her."
"Er… I somehow doubt that 'I'm sorry, but I still think you're a bitch' would go down well."
"Okay, maybe not that honest…"
Carol had not changed, and maybe that was the greatest surprise, apart from the little boy in her lap. Chris had temporarily managed to snatch him from her, but as soon as Jim had entered the room, she had reached for him, pulling him close. A lioness protecting her young.
Jim stared at her, unsure what to say or do. She looked… well. Maternity had apparently not changed her, nor had the passing of almost two years. This was Carol as he had known her, tall, slender, her curly blond hair cut right below the ears, her gaze alert and scrutinizing as ever.
"Jim Kirk," she said drily, "and Spock."
Nope, no friendly feelings there. Carol had always been an expert at making it clear what she thought of someone without losing many words.
Jim realized that everybody, even the baby, was staring at him. They expected him to say something.
Well…
"Carol… uh… what a surprise to see you here." Seated between her and Chris was Peace Lafayette. Yet another ex-girlfriend, albeit one who had no reason to harbor any bad feelings. From the self-satisfied look on her pretty face, it was clear who had initiated this meeting.
His eyes traveled back to the baby. Cute kid, he noted absentmindedly. Big blue eyes, blond hair, chubby face – quite the little angel, really. And then it hit him with the force of a lightning bolt.
That's my kid. My son.
A feeling of awe took hold of him. Rationally, he had known about David, but he hadn't accepted his existence emotionally. Not until now.
I am a father. This is my son.
Somebody patted his shoulder, and as he tore his gaze from David, he looked into Chris' face. A faint smile played around the lips of his adoptive father. "Small steps, Jim."
Indeed.
"Why don't we all sit down?" Leonard suggested, waving at the chairs.
"I'll take my leave," Peace said, getting up. "I think this should be a family thing. Lunch tomorrow, anyone?"
"I'll call you," Chris said, before adding: "And thank you… for everything."
She smiled wistfully. "Anytime…"
With Peace gone, Carol was the only woman seated at the table and it suddenly occurred to Jim what an odd sort of family meeting this was. What's happening to me? he wondered. A week ago, I was a single man with a tremendous crush on my first officer and no hopes of ever catching his eye. Now he's my bondmate and I'm supposed to be a father…
"Oh, don't just sit there gaping at me!" Carol said irritably. "We both know that we'd have been happy to never see each other again, but unfortunately, your family decided to meddle." She shot Chris and Leonard a poisonous look.
Jim turned to look at them, too. He had already suspected that they were behind all this, it was just the sort of meddlesome, parenty thing they'd do… he raised his brows at Chris, who shrugged in return, seeming unperturbed.
"Guilty as charged," Bones stated. "And I won't even say we were acting in your best interest."
"Well now, that's a relief," Jim threw in sarcastically.
"Because really, this isn't just about you, or the two of you," Bones continued, nodding in Carol's direction. "It's about David, too, or maybe most of all. Every child should get a chance to meet both his or her parents. Losing a parent is bad enough, but never knowing them is even worse. Jim, you of all people should know that."
"Oh?" Jim had always hated those allusions to his father, especially when they were being used against him. Anger at Bones, who was being so goddamn presumptuous right now, welled up in his chest. Spock raised an inquiring eyebrow, but Jim was not in the mood to discuss his feelings with somebody who usually pretended to have none.
"We thought that one boy growing up in the shadow of a hero he never met, always trying to compete with a father he never knew, was enough," Chris said softly.
"Everybody has issues with their father," Jim snapped, "and he doesn't have to be dead or unknown for that. In fact, I happen to know that one of you is still blaming himself for his father's death, while the other didn't talk to his old man for six damn years, because Daddy disapproved of his relationship with another guy."
"They are both dead, though," Bones deadpanned. "And you are perfectly right – parents, whether dead or alive, are a pain in the ass. On the other hand, they are also the people who raise you, teach you, bake you chocolate cakes for your birthday, rush to the hospital when you are injured, comfort you when you're heartbroken, organize your wedding, babysit your kids and tell you when you are being an idiot. Because that's what family's for, Jim. It's like a safety net. And no matter how weird you think those people are – and some of them are pretty weird, I think everybody has their share of crazy relatives – there will be a day when you'll be glad to have them. "
Jim looked from him to Chris and back. "I think the two of you are about as weird as it gets," he said. "Just what is it with you? Do you absolutely have to save everybody who crosses your path? Is that, I don't know, some sort of compulsion?" He shook his head, unsure whether he was feeling vexed, amused or touched by their insistence.
Bones frowned. "Ungrateful brat", he growled, but there was an undeniable trace of fondness in his voice, "I swore an oath when I became a doctor and another one when I entered Starfleet. Chris swore the Starfleet oath and assumed certain obligations when he became your father."
"Just face it Jim – you're stuck with us. And when it comes to meddling, I might add that none of us would be sitting here if you hadn't chosen to meddle in the first place," Chris added with a twinkle in his eye.
"I knew that one act of kindness would come back to haunt me," Jim groaned. "Spock, you should have warned me. You should have told me that while either of them alone was already insufferable, the two of them together would be unbearable."
Spock considered this for a moment, before cocking his head to the side and replying: "Well, Jim, I assumed you would know that one plus one equals two."
Bones chuckled at that, and a grin spread over Chris' face. Even Carol snorted. "I didn't know Vulcans had a sense of humor."
"He's only half Vulcan," Jim replied sourly. "Why is everybody having fun at my expense?"
"Because you're being an idiot," Bones answered promptly.
"Oh, shut up." He looked over at Carol. "Now that you've met them – why aren't you running to the far end of the galaxy yet? You are about to be assimilated."
"I would run, if I thought it'd help," she stated. "Moving on to more important things though – I hope none of you is expecting me to start liking the idea of having Jim back in my life anytime soon. I can probably stand you if I have to and I might even agree to spending time with you on a regular basis for David's sake – because I'm sure as hell not leaving you alone with my baby – but I'm not thrilled about it, nor will I ever be."
"Gee, Carol, aren't you charming," Jim replied thinking bitch, you just had to say that, didn't you? "I'm surprised you could resist the urge to hit me."
"Tempting, Jim, very tempting, but it wouldn't do to let David see that. Speaking of which – you and I are going to have a conversation about appropriate behavior around children. You might want to take notes. Or better yet, I'll write the primary rules down for you."
"There's a prime directive for dealing with infants?" Jim asked sarcastically.
"Yep. It goes as follows: Don't let them see, hear or do anything interesting," Bones said, grinning. "A child with a paint pot is more dangerous than a horde of enraged Klingons."
"Speaking from experience, I see," Carol acknowledged the comment, "though I wasn't exactly talking about paint pots."
"Oh, I know you weren't," he replied nonchalantly, "so does Jim, I think."
"Are you actually blushing?" Chris asked, leaning in for a closer look. Mirth sparkled in his lively grey eyes.
"And well he should be," Spock murmured.
Fie, Jim! If you ever say anything like that out loud, I shall have to use the nerve pinch on you… before you actually get a chance to say it. My father would be scandalized.
Jim couldn't help himself, he had to snort with laughter at the idea of Sarek… anyway… You know I'd never say something like that out loud. She just… got me thinking. He smirked. Do take it as a compliment.
"Having a private little chat there?" Bones asked. "That's not very polite, kids."
"Bones, when Chris adopted me I promised never to call you 'Mom'. I take that back now. If you go all parental on me, it's only fitting."
"God help me."
"He's right, though," Carol said, "You're just about the strangest family I've ever met, but the roles are clear. One set of parents, and two kids. And I'm guessing, Spock is to be the happy son-in-law."
"Technically, he already is," Chris said, "And of course, I wasn't even invited."
"Since there was no ceremony, it would have been difficult to pass out invitations," Spock pointed out. "However, I seem to recall that you gave your blessing."
"And I meant it, Spock."
"He just regrets not getting to see you in a pretty Vulcan wedding dress – pardon, robe," Bones added, grinning.
"Charming," Carol said drily. "So, where does that leave me? The evil ex?"
"You don't look particularly evil to me," Chris said after studying her for a moment.
"There are some benefits to being the strangest family on the planet," Bones said, "You can be an honorary daughter in law. Gender balance is a bit off anyways, so it really wouldn't hurt."
Jim was certain that Carol would flat-out refuse this somewhat ridiculous notion, but she surprised him. After looking round the table thoughtfully, she cocked her head and replied: "I'll think about it."
I'm not sure I like the sound of that, Jim said to Spock.
Be fair, Jim. Compromises will have to be made at some point.
Says the guy who wanted to shoot her. Or poison her. Or choke her to death.
I am not proud of that.
But you still dislike her, Jim pointed out.
That is irrelevant. She is no longer a threat. The smug satisfaction that came with that statement surprised Jim, but it also warmed his heart.
Sorry it took me so long to update. Writing that meeting between Carol and Jim turned outr to be trickier than I had anticipated. For those of you who don't like Carol - don't worry, they're not going to adopt her ;)