I appreciate the reviews! Thanks so much. I may change the name of the story... I don't really like the name... What do you guys think? I forgot to mention in the first chapter that they're currently on Winter Break. Mine lasts two weeks so I'm gonna say theirs does too haha

(A/N: James' POV)

I pinched the bridge of my nose as my head pounded. I quickly got out of my car and entered the coffee shop.

I waited in line and let my thoughts travel.

"Sir?" A female voice interrupted me. I looked at the girl in front of me. She obviously worked here.

"Sorry," I replied and proceeded to order.

Once she gave me my coffee, I thanked her and quickly exited the shop.

I let out a breath of relief as I got into my car. I sat in my car and drank my coffee, thinking about how weird I look from other people's point of views.

The sound of my phone ringing snapped me back to reality. I looked at the caller ID. Carlos Garcia.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey James. How are you?"

"I'm fine Carlos. Just like I was yesterday. And the day before." I snapped at him.

"James, chill. I'm just checking up on you."

"I don't need you to."

"I don't care, I want to." He snapped back. I flinched slightly. Carlos never yelled.

"Well, I'm fine." I sighed.

"I know you're not... What's wrong? Do you miss Logan and Kendall or something?"

I flinched again. "No! I could never miss them."

"Just 'cause they have feelings for each other doesn't mean that the friendships around them should change. I talked to Kendall yesterday and he said that both him and Logan miss you and didn't think you were the type of person to change just because they were gay." Carlos replied.

"I don't care if they miss me! I never want to be around those... fags ever again!" The word pained me to say and I didn't know why.

"Whatever James. You're gonna start loosing all your friends sooner or later." The other line went dead. Carlos had actually hung up on me.

I groaned at the thought of loosing Carlos as my friend, too.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I said out loud. I had no one to turn to... I sighed and started my car.

I drove home and quickly ran into my house. My mom was out, as always. I didn't live with my dad.

I laid on my couch and sighed sadly.

I needed something to numb the pain... but there was nothing. That's when I got an idea. I've read enough books and seen enough movies to know what very sad people do to themselves to numb the pain.

I was a sad person. And I couldn't stand the pain anymore.

I got up off the couch and practically sprinted upstairs to my bathroom. I pulled out the razor and broke it into smaller pieces.

I let out a shaky sigh and picked one of the sharp pieces up.

I slid it across my wrist, closing my eyes at the pain as I felt the warm blood drip down. I looked at the cut I made, winced, and got a paper towel to clean it up.

I picked up the extra pieces of the razor stored them in my room for later uses.

I laid down on my bed and fell asleep for a few minutes before I heard a loud pounding on my door.

"Come in?" I replied. The door swung open and I saw Carlos standing there, looking extremely guilty. His cheeks were slightly red from the cold weather.

"James, I feel terrible." He sighed, looking down. He looked up at me again. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"No, no, it's fine. I could never be mad at you... for anything." I smiled at him and I used my other hand to subtly cover up the cut I made.

Carlos looked incredibly nervous. Being his best friend, I knew when something was bugging him.

"You okay, pal?" I asked, worried.

"Just...peachy." He smiled a sad smile.

"Carlos, you can tell me anything."

"I can't tell you this. Not yet. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and that you're my best friend and nothing's gonna change that." Carlos looked at my hand which was covering my wrist. "Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Covering your wrist like that."

"My wrist kinda hurts... I fell on it but no big deal." I lied.

"Alright, well ice it or something." Carlos said before turning around. "Bye James."

"See ya around, Carlos." I replied. I heard Carlos leave my house before I sighed in slight relief.

About a week passed, I was still sad so I continued to numb my pain. But something was different about this pain. I was more lonely than sad. Why was that?

Oh yeah, because Carlos had been ignoring me ever since he came to my house a week ago. I couldn't take the loneliness so I got into my car and drove to Carlos' house, a few miles away.

I knocked on his door and I heard someone getting up to answer it.

Carlos looked slightly shocked to see me. "J-James... hi." He smiled, nervously.

"Hey... What's wrong? You seem so nervous."

"N-nothing... Hey, guess what?"

"What?"

"Logan and Kendall are here... wanna say hi?" He asked with a hopeful tone.

"No Carlos, I don't."

Carlos opened his mouth to say something but someone interrupted him. I recognized the voice. Logan.

"Carlos, who's at the door?" Logan asked and then he came into view. When our eyes met, he smiled slightly. I felt butterflies in my stomach and I could feel my face grow hot.

"Bye, Carlos." I quickly said and I walked to my car.

I heard Carlos calling me to come back but I ignored him, wanting to get out of there as fast as possible so this stupid feeling in my stomach could go away and my cheeks would only be red because of how cold it is outside.

Hope you liked it. I'm gonna start writing the next chapter but I probably won't post it until tomorrow after school. Thanks for reading!