AN: Hello again readers. This chapter is actually a bit late as I had hoped to of have it posted last Friday as it was my 19th birthday but better late than never. Thank you for still continue reading this story and I'm sorry for all of you who did not like how I broke up Claire and Shane but once again I will say that I only ever write HEA's.

Now on with the chapter.

Chapter 12

Previously

I then managed to leave and felt like my heart was being ripped out. In saying that though I do feel as though the next thing will be hard for me and possibly even life threatening or at least will cause pain for me.

It is time for me to go and see Michael and Eve and ask them if I can temporally move back in and also if they would be willing to help me out as I have already screwed up enough already and if I don't get any help it will just continue to get worse.

This should be fun.

Shane's POV

I walked to Eve and Michael's place as that way Claire would then be left with the car as she would have more of a use for it than me as she has t take care of the children.

I 'm such a twat for messing up like I have done as now Claire has to deal with taking care of the children and she is also pregnant and that is the worst thing that could now have happened to her with the fact that it could now mean the end of her life. I really need to come up with a way to get myself back home so that I can be there to help her out and take care of her like I should be doing right now.

When I reached Eve and Michael's I really started to hate myself as I was all of a sudden hit by all these different memories like meeting Claire for the first time and where I had then fallen in love with her. Another big memory that came into my mind was Claire's 19th birthday as I had proposed to her on that day in this very kitchen.

I guess I should just get this over with as I am just really only delaying the inevitable.

I rang the door bell but I'm not really aware of what the time is so for all I know they could either still be asleep (which will not be helping mu situation any) or they could even be at work at this time so I was slightly surprised (but mainly thankful) when the door was opened.

"Shane? What are you doing here?" I think there is a chance that I have just woken Eve up or she just woke up for work as she's always tired until she gets some coffee in her.

"I need to talk to and Michael if that's possible about something." It was then that she noticed the bag that I was holding.

"What's going on?"

"Is Michael here so that I don't have to repeat this story?"

"He's in the living room so you better come in."

"Shane what are you doing here at this time of day?"

"He was just about to tell us hopefully."

"There is something g that you both really need to know," I really wish that I could just go back in time to the time when I started all this mess so that I could stop myself from doing this. "Claire has kicked me out."

Then before I knew it Eve had got to her feet and slapped me right across the face. I could also then see her raising her fist to hit me again when Michael tried to stop her.

"Eve I don't think you need to hit him again I think that he got the message from the first"

So she kicked me instead.

"Now I think he's got the message. You are such an idiot. I mean what on earth could you have done to her for her to decide to kick you out?"

"I might have spent the last few months avoiding Claire and the kids and instead of spending time with them like I did before and choosing to go out drinking every few nights instead." They just looked at me as if to say what could have possibly been going through my mind to make me want to do that to the Claire I apparently love. I just know now that I'm going to be attack now and then asked questions later or even vice versa but I would rather not have to answer those questions for fear that the detail I give will not be enough.

"Why you bloody bastard. What on earth could be your reason for wanting to hurt Claire like that for anyway?" Eve screamed at me. This time Michael actually restrained her just before she could charge at me and attack me once again.

"I know you would love nothing to do nothing more than kill Shane but don't you think that it would be a good idea to let him try and explain himself before you then try and kill him. It might also be a good idea for him to also tell us what it is that he wants from us."

I could tell that he was not happy to hear this from the glare she then sent my way.

"I know that the minute that I've finished talking you are going to hate me and will more than likely want to then kill me more than you already do but I really do hope that you will be willing to help me out. For you to really understand everything I guess I should really tell you everything from the beginning" I went onto explaining how Claire and I had been told the news of how should Claire ever become pregnant once more it could potentially kill her but without telling them that as I don't if either Claire has already told them that or if she even wants them to k now about it. I did try my best to tell them that my avoiding Claire was all done with my mind seeing it as being in her best interest. I don't think that they saw it as that though. I think that they just saw it as though I was avoiding her for some vague reason and ended up hurting her which resulted in me being kicked out. "I came here to you two to ask if it was possible for me to have a room that I could sleep ion temporarily and also if you would be willing to help me get back together with Claire."

"You are such a prat sometimes Shane. You really do need our help as you've already screwed up enough as it and if you try and work on this by yourself any longer you will just keep making it worse. Also if you do need a place to stay you can move back into your old bedroom as we've yet to do anything with it yet."

"Thank both so much."

When I then left and headed upstairs and stepped into the bedroom that I had shared with Claire I was immediately hit with all these memories of me and Claire and all the times that we have sent together in this room.

After I had finished putting all my clothes away I then couldn't be bothered to do much else so I ended up collapsing on the bed and let all the different memories wash over me which was most defiantly the worst thing I could have done as it made me really want to just hold onto Claire and never let her go ever again. At some I eventually did fall asleep and had one of the worst night's sleeps ever and I believe that they are just going to get worse the longer I'm away from Claire.

When I woke up the next morning I had no idea as to what the time was all I could think was I wish I could get some more sleep but I felt a bit lost having no one sleeping next to me. Also the only thing that my mind could give me was that it is never a good idea to sleep in jeans. (You skin goes slightly blue and it feels as though they are stuck to your skin and it becomes very uncomfortable.) I really wish that Claire was here so that I could wrapped her tightly in my Arms and know that she is actually there with me and as safe as possible.

I wonder how she is feeling today. Is she coping alright? Has she fallen ill? Will she ever want anything to do with me ever again? Are the children doing okay?

All of these different thoughts were running around my head on a loop and only to be occasionally broken up with random flashbacks off different times I have spent with Claire in this room with her.

The next day and the days afterwards were no better either. Each day I was just getting more tired as I could no longer sleep without getting woken up by me rolling over and wanting to find Claire but fin ding nothing but an empty and cold side of the bed.

I can never be bothered to do much even when I realised that it's early enough in the day now for me to move out of the bedroom without fearing that I will wake anyone up, I just lie in bed and do nothing only coming out of the room every so often to get a bite to eat and go to the bathroom.

Our lives can never be simple can they?

After staying with Eve and Michael for nearly a week Eve became a bit annoyed with me as
I was yet to do anything about my relationship with Claire and just choosing to mope around. I realised that Eve was getting a bit annoyed with me when she decided to just come barging into my room and waking me up after sleeping for I don't know how long which I hated her for as I need to sleep for as long as I can get as I will eventually end up waking up either by just rolling over and not finding Claire or even just by getting hit by a powerful dream about Claire and I that I get shocked into waking up. I know that that is not a good thing to think and that I'm also being unfair to Eve and Michael as they had been nice enough to allow me to stay with them but it's almost like I can no longer help myself with getting people to be unhappy with me to the point where they don't want anything to do with me.

"Shane, get your lazy ass up right now!"

"What? What's going on? What's happened?" Never yell at me when I'm asleep as I will always be confused for about a minute or two and then I will eventually get my bearings right. "Eve? What are you doing in here? What time is it?"

"It is time for you to get up, get out of this bed and into the shower before you come downstairs where you will something decent for breakfast and then we will begin on working out plan of how to get you back home to Claire. Do you really want to have to spend much longer without Claire beside you or even in the same house as you? It's so obvious that you need to get back together with her by just looking at the dark circles underneath your eyes. You have also got to be missing your children by now as well."

She then left me alone as I could hear her stomping down the stairs.

I did eventually manage to move from my bed but it felt like a real struggle. Almost as though my body was now starting to think that there is not much point in moving as Claire is not around at this moment. I did take a shower like Eve asked me to and once again I did not see much point as I would be coming back up here as soon as we have finished talking downstairs. That is of course if they haven't decided to throw me out as well which they would be in their rights to do as I haven't done much but stay in my room after they had chosen to take me in when Claire had thrown me out and Michael had even stopped Eve from actually killing me (or at least try to). They had even said that they would help me try and repair my relationship with Claire and I have done nothing to show them how grateful I am.

When I did get downstairs I found Eve and Michael sitting in the living room waiting for me.

"Glad to see you've finally left your room Shane" Michael said when he saw me coming down the stairs.

"Yeah but for what reason, I know that I do need to start making amends with Claire but what if in the end she decides that it is not worth taking me back or if she feels like she can no longer trust me again. I'm also not even sure if things can ever be like they were before and i9t will all have been my own fault."

"Shane you now that Claire loves you and will eventually take you back you will just have to show her that you want to get back together. You two have been together for years now and there are four children living with her and also a fifth one on the way and you are the one who has helped to create them and they love both you and Claire so much."

"That may have been true one but on the day before I left them I had shouted at them when they had been arguing after school like they do more or less everyday and so I know what I should do to be able to break them up but instead I shouted at them to go to their rooms and then went to play on the x-box,. Not really something a good parent would really is it. But the worst thing about it has to be when I was shouting at them I did it when Daniel was in the room and knowing full well that he doesn't like loud sounds or people shouting at others."

"Yes but I bet that when you were trying to leave they were then trying their hardest to not get you to leave them including Daniel and that is because they love you so much. If they didn't still love you so much they would not have acted like that."

She was right. Was did she have to be right?

"So what would you suggest I do about it now? Claire is not going to take me back straight away and I don't even know how to show her that I truly have changed and want her to take me back. I don't even think that getting down on my knees and begging for her forgiveness would even work"

"You could maybe start with that but then you will have to find a way to actually show her that you are sorry for what you have done."

I guess that Eve does have a point there but I really don't see much of a reason as to why she would even want to think about taking me back after how cruel I was to her.

"There is just one thing I would like to know, did this whole thing start around the same time as when you quit your job?"

"No as I quit my job a few years ago as Claire had to go back to work as soon as she was able to and so I decided that it might be nice if I was to stay home and then Claire would never have a reason to not go to work and then possibly anger Amelie or her psychotic boss. Did you become a shrink or something over the past few years?"

"No but if you think about it, it is just common sense that the reason you may have started to act like you did and go out quite frequently is because you became bored with always staying at home especially as all or your children are now at home and in a couple of years time the twins will be old enough to look after the younger ones until either you and Claire come home. You are leaving and going out was a way of escaping your life for an hour or two and then it just escalated out of control."

Again I could see that she had a point and may even be right to a certain extent. Perhaps I should see if I could get my job back or maybe even look into getting a different one as it start to get boring and very repetitive as my job mainly consisted of just chopping up bits of meat day in and day out. I think that the only good part was when I was allowed to bring home some bits for free.

"Why don't we just wait until tomorrow before you try and start to talk to Claire?"

I did see any reason as to why I should try and put it off any longer so I just nodded my head but I do believe that for Claire to even think that for Claire to even give a small chance I will have to do some serious begging as I really do now miss Claire and want her to back in my arms and show her how much I really want to come back home and truly love her. I need to show her that I really do love her and that my mind just came up with a bit of a twisted way of trying to protect her which in the end didn't even work.

I guess that I will now just have to wait see what will happen tomorrow.

Claire's POV.

Why did I ever think that it would be a good idea to throw Shane out?

After I had told him that I was pregnant I couldn't help but run from him with tears in my eyes especially after he had told me that he had only been avoiding me so that he wouldn't end up getting me pregnant again as it could harm or even kill me only his plan had failed me and now I'm alone, pregnant and have to look after four other children. I hope that he will return to me soon.

That evening I struggled to sleep and after I was able to sleep I was then woken up by the closing of the front door a few hours later which then must mean that Shane has now officially left and I now do not know when or even if he will return to us.

If he could just show me that he has realised that he made a mistake and feels sorry for it then I would consider taking him back. I'd make sleep somewhere else for a bit but I would allow him to come back into the house.

Tears then began to fall the moment I heard the door close and it had then taken me what felt like a few hours before I had calmed down enough for me to go downstairs and face the children.

I had thought that I would have found the children in the kitchen eating their breakfast or that the older ones would be getting things together. But instead I found them in the living room all looking miserable and the younger ones with tears still in their eyes and slowly flowing down their faces.

"Children" I called to them to get their attention. They did look up to me and Daniel came running over to me. He still had tears falling down his face.

"It's all going to be okay. You'll see" I told him hoping that it would calm him down.

"Will Daddy ever come back to us?" Abigail asked me.

"I'm sure that he will come back home before we even know it." I didn't really know what ~I should tell them in response to that question as I didn't want to get their hopes up but I also didn't want them to think that I don't know what Shane plans to do. "Now I'm sure that none of you have had breakfast yet so I want you all to go and grab something very quickly and then I will give you all a lift to school and we will have to leave soon otherwise we will end up being late."

"No Mummy, don't make us go." Abigail cried and Daniel tightened his grip on me. This is something that I could do without having to deal with today.

"Come on now I need for to get you ready quickly. I plan to take the day off today and so then the minute school is over with I will be right there waiting for you all." I could then still see that they didn't want to move. "Please children at least try and get through the day for me and I promise you that the moment you get out of the doors I will be there for you." They then started to move once I had promised them that but none of them still didn't look happy.

Eventually I was able to get them in the car and was able to get them into school just in time and it was then that I realised that I still had to make the call to tell Myrnin that I won't be able to come into work today.

"Hello." Myrnin answered.

"Hi Myrnin, it's me Claire. I don't think that I'm going to be able to make in to work today." I hope that he won't ask me for many details as to why but knowing my luck that won't be the case.

"And what is the problem that means that you will not be able to come into work today?"

"There has been s but of a family crisis shall we say." I really didn't want to give him to many details in case he wants to the kill Shane or for him to tell Amelie and for her to then want to kill Shane as I know that she will very likely succeed or even make his life hell.

"You mean that you and Shane have had an argument and now you want to stay home."

"Not quite an argument but there was some shouting and I would rather not really give too many details as it only happened last night." I still struggle not to tear up every time I just even think about what happened between us. I do still wonder if I hadn't of thrown him out would he have even let us or would he have always stayed with us and have things eventually go back to the way the sort of were before.

"I can see that you do not want to tell me anything but I will allow you to take this day off and if you want for more time off I will want to know the exact reason and if you do not I will be bringing this up with Amelie and we will come over and see what is going on with you."

"Thank you Myrnin. Goodbye." I then hung up the phone and was thankful that it was a fairly quick conversation.

Now that I have been given the day off from work I knew now that I would have to find some way of keeping myself busy or else I will just start to dwell even more on what has passed between Shane and me.

Then something did come into my mind and that was that I do need to make an appointment to see a doctor again to find out more about this pregnancy and see how I'm progressing and also if I will have to make any changes with my life so that everything will run smoothly.

My life can never be simple can it, there always has to be some form of drama doesn't there.

After lunch I made the call and was able to make one for tomorrow which will mean that I'll have to make another phone call to Myrnin but the children will be at school so I won't need to worry about them.

At least that was what I thought until after I had hung up the phone and I got a phone call asking for me to come down to the school and collect Daniel. What had annoyed me was that they had not chosen to tell why but just that I needed to collect him.

I did just wish that they had told me something as I did panic a bit not what it was that I would find when I got there. Has he just been ill? Was he hurt? Did one of the other children hurt him? All these thoughts kept running through my mind as I made a mad Dash home

I do believe that this was the first chance since I'd had my licence that I've ever become close to breaking the speed limit or even going over it but what with having been told nothing and also having no one to be there to help calm me down I was still in a bit of a blind panic.

When I did then reach the school I made my way as quickly as possible to the reception there hoping that either Daniel would be there or they would be able to then point me in the right direction.

I was glad to see him there but he did not look very happy and there was also a women sitting with him who I guess was his teacher.

"Daniel." I called to him to try and get his attention but he just continued to look at his feet. "Sweetheart what happened?"

"You must be Mrs. Collins, Daniel's Mum."

"Yes. What happened to Daniel? Will you talk to me Daniel or even look at me?"

"He had a bit of an accident which then made him become quite upset and then when he did calm down he became quiet and stopped talking to everyone. We called you thinking that it might be a good idea for him to go home and we hope that we will see him at school tomorrow."

"Thank you. Come on Daniel let's go home." I hope that he will decide to talk to me once we get outside of school.

I tried to talk not him but he would just give me no response to any question I asked him.

When we did get home I carried him into the house and took him into the living room hoping that now he was back how he would start to talk to me about what happened but instead I just got nothing.

"Daniel will please start talking to me as you are starting to scare me now?"

Then he started to cry and when I pulled him into my arms he just clung to my neck as tightly as he could. "It's going to be okay. I'm not mad at you I just want you talk to me."

"I want daddy" was his response and it made him start to cry harder almost screaming probably think that it will get him what it is that he wants. I just tried my hardest to get him to calm down by pacing the floor like I would when he was a baby and wouldn't settle down. Eventually he did wear himself out and fell asleep.

Normally I would have taken him upstairs and put him into his bed but I didn't want to chance possibly disturbing him, especially as I may end up doing so if he hasn't woken up when I go to collect the others.

I think that this does just show how important Shane is to his family and how much he really needs to come.

I also think that when the other children did come home they thought that Shane might have come home, I don't know why though. I guess that they just want him to come home as soon as possible and that this family will never fall apart. I do know that should Shane decide to divorce me the only thing that will keep me going is the children but once they have all grown up and moved out there will not be much that will keep me going.

Please come back to us Shane. Please come back to us. We really need for you to come back. I especially need you to come back. But I guess he will only ever come back if he really wants to and I do so wish that he wants to.

A few days later though my wish got granted I think.

It was after I had just taken the child to school a few days later (I'm still off work as the children don't like the idea of having to come home to an empty house at the minute as they fear that I'm going to leave them like they think Shane has but Amelie and Myrnin are now aware of this as well and are really not happy with Shane) and whilst I was just doing the usual tidying up the house and trying to get some laundry done as well there was a knock as the door.

At first I was going to ignore it as I know that no one apart from Amelie and Myrnin know that I'm home and I also know that I'm not expecting any packages so ther4e would be no one important there but there was something inside me that told me to answer the door so I did and got a shock when I did.

"Shane what are you doing here?"

AN: So what do you think? Good? Bad? Needs a lot of work? Let me know in a review and Chapter 13 should be posted sometime next week.