AN: thank you to all of you who have sent me reviews, favourite this story and added it to your alerts and to those who have added me their favourite author and alert.

Sadly this story is now going to start coming to a close, after this chapter there will be either one or two more.

Disclaimer: I do not own Morganville Vampires, Rachel Caine does.

Chapter 17

Previously

Just as my eyes were closing again Shane came back into the room with the paramedics. Shane tried once again for me to keep my eyes open and held onto my hand telling me that whenever I felt any pain to squeeze his hand as hard as I wanted but at this point I think my brain was then starting to shut down or something as I was slowly loosing the fight against my eyes and struggled to keep on getting them to open every time I blinked.

"Claire we need for you to keep your eyes open. Stay with us Claire, please baby, stay with us." But I could no longer. I looked into Shane's eyes and saw that they were filled with tears and they closed and would then not open again.

Shane's POV

I could feel my eyes starting to fill up with tears when I could see that Claire was now really struggling to keep her eyes open with every time that she would blink. I didn't want to believe what I was seeing now that she had closed her eyes and I then could not get her to open them once again.

My mind went into a panic as I kept thinking that now Claire was dead or very nearly dying. That this pregnancy we going to be what ended her life. I did not want her to die as it would leave me on my own to care for our children who I could not handle as I need for her to act as back up when we are trying to get the children to behave and do as they are told. Also after already facing the possibility that our relationship could be over I now have realised that there could be no one out there who could make me feel as happy and loved like I do with Claire.

I think now that at this point I was just moving without really knowing what I was doing or where I was going. All I was now really aware of was that Claire was slipping away and there was nothing that I could and how she is now rests in the hands of others. I knew that she was still breathing and kept on telling myself so and that she would recover, we would have another child and that we will then grow old together.

When at the hospital I was forced to stay in the waiting room until someone had some information to tell me about Claire and our child.

I've always thought that waiting rooms were created by someone who takes pleasure in watching people becoming impatient or worried for some doctor person to come and tell them some news which they may or may not want to hear or even to take them away through a set of door for them to walk back through minutes or hours later. It can become very tedious if all you have to is watch and see people walking through doors and be taken away in different t directions and know that I have been here for much longer than them and would love nothing more than for someone or come and tell me even the tiniest bit of regarding Claire or our child.

Waiting here for hours was giving me a sense of déjà vu that I never wanted to feel again when it involves Claire being the one that I have to wait to hear news about. I do hope and pray that this never happens again to Claire and nothing bad happens to our children to put me in this position ever again.

Eventually a doctor came to find me and from the look on his face it made me fear that the worst ha now happened- that Claire and our child did not make it.

"Shane, first I want you to know that Claire is still alive and so is your child. There were problems, some of which I know you are aware of. The main problem was that the umbilical cord had become detached and the reason Claire had passed out was due to the large amount of blood loss she suffered from. We had to do a hysterectomy to stop her from bleeding to death." I then stopped listen. I didn't mean to stop listen I was just so happy that he had told me that Claire was okay for now especially after hearing that she could have easily died from bleeding to death. "Your child has been taken to NICU as it was having some problems with their breathing.

I am telling you all of this as I did not want to keep anything from you and with you knowing all of this already you will then be more able to help Claire to get passed all of this."

"Is there anything else that I need to know?"

"No. That is everything. Are you alright Shane?" I have no idea at this point how I really am feeling at the moment. I think I will just have to take it one day at the time and then I will be able to live I hope as if nothing bad has ever truly happened like I have all of the other times. Now there must be nothing that can/could ever happen to Claire again. I do still wish though that this has all but been a dream and that I will be waking up with Claire still safely wrapped up in my arms.

"I will be. Can you tell me where Claire is please?" He showed me the room that she was staying in and I could not help but hate what I saw. Claire3 now looked so pale and I could see that she had an IV attached to her as well as one of those blood bag things. She did just look as though she was only sleeping but I knew that it was so very different. The same way as I also knew that no matter how much I might for it to be so that what has happened today is real life and there is no way to wake up from it and to know that it has only been a dreadful nightmare." Thank you doctor and before you go could you tell me what it was that we had?"

"You've had a beautiful baby girl." I didn't really care as to what we have had but I did want to want it was and then I just need for it to become healthy and then for me to be able to take Claire and our baby home.

I sat with Claire for a couple of hours just talking to her. I didn't know if she could hear me but it did make me feel better to think that she could hear me. After leaving her I headed to the NICU to see what has become of our child and how long she would be expected to be in here and when I will be allowed to hold her in my arms. Something tells me that with this child I will be the most protective of.

I especially believe this as when I saw her there she was in an even worse state than the twins were when they had to be placed in here when they were born. She had all of these wires and tubes attached to her. I know that when I do get to hold her for the first time it will be like when I held the twins for the first time. I had never held a child before and so was scared that I would end up dropping her.

I was allowed to see her up close and it did look to be much worse up close and I knew that is Claire had been able to see her like this it would have destroyed her, especially after all that she has gone through with the pregnancy.

When everyone if out of this hospital with a clean bill of health I plan to go to Amelie and ask for permission to leave Morganville permanently and if that is not possible for a family holiday for a week or two so that we can be free from all of the drama and horrors that this place like to throw our way.

It eventually became too much for me to bear but at the same time I did not want to leave her here alone. I headed back to Claire to check on her again before deciding that it was time for me to call Claire and ask for her to bring the children down here so that they can see what has happened to their Mum and know to some extent why she will not be able to return home with us for some time. They deserve to know what is going on and what will be happening now.

"Hello"

"Hey Eve, its Shane,"

"Oh my God Shane, how's Claire, is she okay? What about the baby? What did you have?"

"Claire is not awake and our baby is in 5the NICU and it is not looking good. I called to ask you Eve if you would be calling to bring the children down here as they deserve to know what is happening with Claire and have a chance to see her"

"We can be there as soon as we can."

We then hung up and once again I found myself waiting but only this time I knew that it was for a good reason and seeing the children would make me feel better and give me a reason to feel stronger and not to just fall apart like I would love to do right now.

"Shane" I heard Eve call my name and dashed over to the car so that I could see all of my children.

"Dad, what's going on, why are we here?"

"Something has happened to you Mum and I thought it might be the best if you were allowed to see her and know what is going on." Whilst I said this though I then thought that this may not have been the best idea for the younger ones as they may not understand fully what is going on. I don't even know how to tell them about their new baby sister. I think I will tell the older two about it tomorrow or when the younger ones are not within hearing distance and then b ring then up alone if they wish to see her.

And I was right about the younger ones not really understanding all about ht was happening with Claire and that she would not wake and possibly not for a few more days.

When the visiting hours were over I took them for a bite to eat before heading home. Then when we arrived back home I sent everyone of to bed which was then something that Ethan decided he would then try to fight me on. This is not something that I want to have to deal with on today of all days.

"Ethan, will you please just do as you are told?"

"No. I don't see why I should have to do what you have told me to do. If anything more happens to mum I will never forgive you for it. Ever. It's your fault she is in the state that she is now. If you had never left her she would not have any problems nor had any stress placed on her body. I could also hear her crying at night as you were not there. You left us as you had made her mad at you. If you had never done that we would not be in this position right now." I know that Ethan was just looking for someone to place the blame on but when he was talking about Claire crying at night as I was not there sent a blow straight to my heart.

"Ethan I know that this may be hard for you to understand but this is not my fault. It is not anyone's fault. Your mother has had problems all through this pregnancy and there was nothing that I could have done different."

"But you had made it all the more worse." He was now starting to shout and that was not something I wanted to happen as the others may hear and didn't want them to in case they then decided to come down here to see what is going on.

"Ethan I don't know where all of this is coming from but you need to calm down and try and not shout or else the others will end up hearing you." I could see that he still was not calming down. "If it will make you feel any better hit me." When I told him he could do that I did not think that he actually would. I had thought that he might just head upstairs and want to get away from me.

Not long after he had started, thankfully, his punches started to lose emphasis and I was able to pull him into my arms which made him then fall apart just like he needed to.

"It's okay; it's going to be alright now."

"But what if it's not, what if it's not."

"I'm here and I'm not going to leave any of you ever again. Are you going to be alright now?" he just nodded his head. I could see he was now tired so I sent him off to bed and hoped that nothing like this would happen again.

Ethan's POV

Today is Saturday which I like as it will mean that there is no school and I get to stay at home all day. This will also mean that the rest of the family will be home all day as well. They can be so annoying and I hate them especially my Dad. Mum is sick at the moment at the moment so I don't see much of her as she is being made to stay in bed. There is a reason for her staying there but they have not been willing to tell us the reason for it. I'm old enough to know what the truth is and I feel like they only want to treat me as a child.

Today it does feel like it was the worst Saturday that I have lived through cause Mum took a turn for a worse and Dad did finally see fit for me and Abigail to get more details about what is actually going on with mum and around us.

I really hate all of this lying and keeping people in the dark. All of us deserve to know what the truth is and I mean the whole truth.

Dad however then had decided that he couldn't trust us to alone by ourselves as he had decide that he would call his friend eve to come over and babysit us or rather 'keep an eye on us'. She is alright I guess but I just wish that Dad was able to think that he could trust us to stay in the house by ourselves. Maybe this means that he doesn't know for how long he will be gone or that it will be hours. Either way he thinks that after he leaves we can only be trusted to be on our whilst Eve makes her way over hear as she had not turned up by the time Shane and Mum left to go to the hospital.

I really don't trust dad anymore right now and all of this lying and sneaking around is not making me want to trust him any more either. I'm not even sure that I will be able to ever trust him again.

A few hours later Dad had called and asked for Eve to take all of us down to the hospital to join him. I'm going t o guess that something has now happened or that he has something he wants to tell us. Either way it all had some connection to do with Mum

When we got the hospital and the room where Mum was staying I was shock to see what I saw. She looked as though she was dead or very nearly. She also clearly was no longer pregnant and that was something that Dad had also failed to tell us about. This made me fear that the child had not made it and so Dad didn't know how to tell us and or that he just wanted to concentrate on Mum and keep the information about the child to himself and again did not want to tell us about it.

When we got back home Dad had then tried to get us all to go up to bed which I didn't want to do and I did not want to listen to him anymore so when the others had gone upstairs I could not help myself but lash out at him.

"Ethan, will you please just do as you are told?"

"No. I don't see why I should have to do what you have told me to do. If anything more happens to mum I will never forgive you for it. Ever. It's your fault she is in the state that she is now. If you had never left her she would not have any problems nor had any stress placed on her body. I could also hear her crying at night as you were not there. You left us as you had made her mad at you. If you had never done that we would not be in this position right now." He needed to hear all about what had happened to Mum when he had left us.

"Ethan I know that this may be hard for you to understand but this is not my fault. It is not anyone's fault. Your mother has had problems all through this pregnancy and there was nothing that I could have done different."

"But you had made it all the more worse." He could have done things differently like not making Mum mad at him and therefore not giving her a reason to kick his sorry ass onto the street. Sure I was sad about him leaving at first but then it started to have a really big effect on mum and I could not have him doing that. If he ever does decide that he will leave us again I will never forgive him and I won't speak to him ever again.

"Ethan I don't know where all of this is coming from but you need to calm down and try and not shout or else the others will end up hearing you." I could care less if the others could hear us. "If it will make you feel any better hit me."

So I did.

I don't think that he expected me to do it though, but he was right about him making me feel better.

Sadly however I couldn't keep the attack up and he was then able to pull me into his arms which made me then fall apart.

"It's okay; it's going to be alright now."

"But what if it's not, what if it's not."

"I'm here and I'm not going to leave any of you ever again. Are you going to be alright now?" I just nodded my head not really knowing what to say to him anymore and headed upstairs hoping that when I wake up then next morning everything will turn out to be different or not look as bad as they did today.

AN: Well there we have it another chapter finished. What did you think of it? Like it? Hate it? Think it needs work? Let me know and I will have the next chapter up no later than Sunday.