Hey, first glee fic. This is an angst story so I'm sorry. I love CPCOUTLER's charcaters and more Julian and Logan. I saw that there was no Logan self-harm and decided if i can't find them, start them. So here i go first chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. CPCOULTER owns the characters and so does Glee and Fox.

Logan sat on the bedroom floor, the stained razor in his hand. Three cuts on his wrist were trickling a fine line down his arm. He felt nothing, numb as always but in his drug twisted mind, he knew that the deeper he cut, the more he felt. Once again he pushed the blade on his skin, another line on his wrist, this one for Kurt. The former was for his father, Blaine and Josh. For all the relationships he fucked up. He cut another for Derek who he knew was just waiting to leave him. Two more of the same size so close in distance they could have been one. These were for Evan and Ethan, his first real friends, the ones he pushed away and wanted back much more than he wanted to admit. He brought the razor down deeper for the nest person, Julian. He brought it down for every time he used someone to keep him from chasing his straight best friend. More for every time Julian had left and every time he kept his stupid mouth. He moved the razor to his bare chest and started to carve.

B. He thought about his father. The man who kept him around because it would help his campaign. When his problem was discovered, his father shipped him out to the boarding school, out of sight out of mind. Being gay was the final straw and his father stopped pretending to care.

E. This was for every little thing he messed up. All the relationships ruined and every person he pushed away. He was to be alone, but God probably just wanted to fuck with him some more.

A. This was for being fucked up for losing the ability to be human. To feel, to notice, Emotions such as anger, sorrow, joy, or love. Not like he deserved it any way

S. The pain was almost there as if he could feel again. A little deeper the next time. It was for him being a 'squid', getting yelled at for not noticing and then for not taking his pills. With the pills he couldn't notice but they didn't care, they never cared.

T. The pain was felt and his hands were shaking. When he carved then final letter, just as large and as deep as the others, the blade dropped. His body felt weighed down and he slipped away into the darkness. The letters on his chest. Five letters. One word. Huge Reason.

BEAST

Bailey knocked on the door off Logan's room, they needed to get to Warbler practice and he didn't want Logan to yell at him for not getting him. Bailey was greeted with an eerie silence that was uncommon for the boy. He always had music or some kind of noise in the background.

When he opened the door, he saw a sight that no one would want to believe. Logan was lying there in a pool of his own blood, the cuts showing bright against the rapid paling skin. His body went into autopilot and the next ten minutes went in a blur.

As he watched the ambulance drive out of the gates, He jogged to Warbler practice. His brain still not processing what had just happened and he just saved Logan's life. No one else had seen what happened, most people studying or away because of the weekend. Derek and Julian were out for the day and Bailey planned on calling and cursing them out later. He opened the door and walked into the practice hall. All heads turned to look at him because he was never late.

"Why are you late Warbler Bailey?" Wes asked from his spot at the council table.

"Logan" Bailey whispered from his seat.

"Why couldn't you get leave the idiot? It's not like he's here anyway?" Kurt said from his seat next to Blaine. Bailey rose quickly, his anger rising and he did something he never though he would do. Protect Logan.

"Of course Kurt, I should have just left him there on his bedroom floor bleeding to death? Oh Logan, sorry to bother you, I'll let you continue to die while I head to practice. Tell ya what we did later." Bailey all but shouted at the poor boy, sarcasm dripping from every word along with venom.

"No I decided that maybe for once I would actually save his life because maybe someone values it. Not like anyone in this school would admit!" He sent a pointed look to the twins. He knew tears were flowing down his face but he didn't stop.

"We all know if anyone else had tried to kill themselves, we would all be fighting to be in that hospital room. Now, I'm going to go call the two people he calls his best friends and go to the damn hospital. The last thing I want is for him to wake up to no one or worse his FATHER!" And with that, Bailey stormed out of the room, sent a quick text to Derek and walked to his car. Cursing out everyone at that damn school, he drove to the hospital, ready to face a broken Logan.

Thanks for reading. New chapter by aleast Monday I hope. Review please?