Chapter 3: Is This Normal Or Should I Be Concerned?
Somehow, I managed to sleep on that pink marshmallow of a bed that night, and when I woke up the next morning, I was again allowed to wander off to the kitchen to fetch my own breakfast.
As you can imagine, seeing one of her own daughters sitting at a table ordinarily used for chopping things and blithely munching on whatever I could get my fingers on - there was so much I couldn't help sampling a little of anything that caught my fancy - instead of sitting primly at the royal dining table, waiting to be served, was something else that would make my mother faint. I smiled and continued to munch.
The head koopa cook, who was the sharp-tongued, frazzled female I met yesterday, didn't mind me hanging around so long as I wasn't underfoot.
In fact, she used the opportunity to complain about the others - and anything else that came to mind. "Those fools nearly let the fire die," she exclaimed as she bustled by me. "I swear, if I wasn't around they'd forget everything, their shells included."
As I nibbled at my own meager meal, I eyed the rapidly growing pile of food, spread along rows and rows of tables. "And just yesterday," she prattled on, "a bunch of those silly goons came crawling home after sneaking off to Rogueport for a few days. Turns out that they not only took an unscheduled trip, they 'borrowed' a large number of coins from the royal treasury to cover playing at the Pianta Parlor. They lost more than they won, of course."
She let out a dramatic sigh that only the long-suffering could unleash. Or at least those who considered themselves long-suffering.
"Was that what put the king in such foul spirits?" I asked, before sipping my glass of fruit juice.
"Indeed," said the head cook with a sniff. "He's in such a snit right now he won't even come out of his room. Expects us to deliver all this," she added, in a way that obviously expected me to sympathize with her endless burdens.
I looked at the massive spread again. "Where does Junior eat?" I wondered.
"In the dining hall, with the other children. If they were to all demand breakfast in bed - why, I wouldn't stand for it, I tell you."
"Other children," I echoed. "Someone else besides Junior?"
"Indeed," the head cook said again, a touch of weariness in her voice. "Larry, Morton, Wendy, Iggy, Roy, Lemmy, and Ludwig."
I listened to her rattle this off with raised eyebrows. Eight kids? And I thought my parents were overachievers.
I understood now that the enormous feast was meant for more than the king, though a portion larger than what my entire family would eat in a day was carried off to his chambers. I politely thanked the head cook for my breakfast, then left to search the halls some more.
I hadn't gone far when a ruckus caught my attention. Feeling curious, I followed the loud sounds to a long room lit with rows of torches. In the middle was a lengthy table made from extremely thick, heavy-looking wood, almost as sturdy as all the stone around here. And seated around it, in some manner or another, could only be Junior's siblings.
I had no idea who was who, but they were quite a colorful bunch. Extremely noisy, too. While the food was delivered, they were taking advantage of their father's absence and were acting up in every way possible.
Or maybe this happened every day, whether the king was around or not. What did I know?
I did know that I found the scene before me momentarily shocking. There was no sitting straight and tall here, no quietly waiting for the dishes to be laid out while making pleasant small talk. Nothing but shouts and laughter as food and dishes were tossed around, and siblings grabbed at and fought over the food, reaching across the table to grab more - or in some cases crawled across.
I could probably fill a book about things in this place that would appall my mother in unconsciousness. Myself, on the other hand, once the initial shock wore off, felt rather sad I had already eaten and couldn't join them. They looked like they were having so much fun.
Seated at the head of the table, in a chair many times too big for him, was Junior. As I continued to watch the scene from behind a nearby pillar, he made attempts to join his siblings' antics, but it was obvious that he was the youngest of the group. His wisecracks or food-tossing was either brushed off or ignored altogether as the rest of them, obviously a close-knit group, playfully swapped barbs and played off each other.
My own siblings had never been deliberately mean to me, but I could definitely relate to being too young to fit in.
Servants continued to deliver dishes while dodging projectiles, though more food wound up on the floor than in anyone's stomach. Junior finished eating first and hopped down from the monstrous chair. He soon spotted me.
"Rosie!"
The running tackle took me off guard and lay me flat. "Let's play some more!" Junior exclaimed eagerly, feet slapping on the stone as he raced out of the room.
As soon as the air returned to my lungs, I followed. "No more tag," I said firmly. I didn't think my fragile little frame could handle it.
"Okay," Junior agreed, brightening. "Hide-n-seek. I'll hide, you seek."
"But that's not fair," I protested as he darted away. "You probably know this place forward and backward. I don't."
Junior came trotting back, looking thoughtful. "You're right," he decided. "So you hide and I'll seek."
I didn't see how that was much of an improvement, but it was too late to argue. He had scurried off again, and a moment later I could hear him counting loudly. Stifling a sigh, I turned and hurried down more hallways and through mysterious-looking rooms.
I hadn't forgotten my mission - to find a way out of here and take it when no one was looking - but I was starting to doubt I would ever find what I was looking for. The castle was built like a giant maze, full of twisting tunnels, dead ends, and sealed doors that seemed impossible to open.
There was the slight chance that someone would realize that I wasn't the right princess and let me go, but I wasn't counting on it. Like yesterday, I was given a few curious stares, but no one tried to stop me. It occurred to me that, what with my dusty brown dress, I probably looked like a servant girl.
There didn't seem to be any other girls like me - or any boys like me, for that matter - which had me absently wondering why the king wanted to kidnap this princess I was mistaken for. Ransom, perhaps?
I came to a set of very large doors, rustic and wooden and with giant door knockers. One of them was partway open; I snaked my tiny frame through the crack and found myself in an enormous bedchamber. The floor was carpeted in scarlet - naturally - and tapestries hung from the walls. There was a fireplace blazing nearby, and there were massive pieces of furniture.
Even more massive was the bed, draped all in red and gold. Aside from the crackling fire, the room appeared quiet and empty, so I went further inside. There was a nightstand next to the bed, and what looked like a leather-bound journal lay atop it.
The journal didn't interest me, but the bed did. It was so large, you could probably fit ten of me under it. I was just taking a step closer when the scarlet covers suddenly moved. My heart stopped and leaped into my throat at the same time as something, snorting and snoring loudly, rolled over.
That something was the king. He was apparently taking a nap after breakfast, and now lay sprawled on top of the covers, arms and legs spread every which a way as tendrils of smoke drifted out of his gaping maw. One clawed foot twitched as he dreamed.
My heart began beating again, thumping loud in my ears. Fortunately, it didn't look like anything less than a sledgehammer would wake him right now, and I safely tiptoed back out into the hall.
When I turned around I nearly bumped into Junior. "You're supposed to hide," he said crossly, pouting.
"Sorry. Let's play something else."
Hopefully far, far from here. Junior didn't move as he folded his arms and thought. "Let's play tanks," he decided, grabbing my hand.
"Tanks?" I echoed dumbly as he pulled me along. "Couldn't we do something a little less violent?"
Junior snickered in his odd, wicked little way. "Aw, I won't hurt ya. Well, not on purpose."
"Not too reassuring, Jr B."
He snickered again and tugged me outside. It wasn't part of the courtyard, but it didn't have any access to outside the castle walls, either. An odd-looking creature rolled up a cannon-sporting vehicle; it was wearing red robes and had a white mask on.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Shy guy," Junior responded. He shoved me toward the tank. "Come on; I'll let you fire first."
My studying hadn't included this, so, needless to say, I didn't do very well. I made it out fairly unscathed, but my hair and clothes were less fortunate.
"I'm going to need a new dress," I grumbled, patting my scorched, smoking skirt.
Junior looked vaguely guilty and took me to see the seamstress. She mostly made clothes for Wendy and mended guard uniforms, so she looked delighted at the idea of designing a new dress. I started to describe the last dress I wore before leaving home - and then stopped myself. After considering it for a moment, I instead described the kind of dress I had always wanted, but never got.
She took notes, then went to work. "I'll drop it off when it's finished," she called, as Junior dragged me away.
"I like you," he said happily. "You're so much more fun than Peach."
Ah, yes. The blond/pink princess I was mistaken for. "Do I look much like her?" I wondered.
Junior wrinkled his nose. "No," he responded. "She's taller. And her face is way rounder. She trips easily. She's really pretty silly."
"Okay, I admit I kind of liked her once," he went on, looking embarrassed, "but now that I've met you..."
He grinned up at me. "You don't get scared easy, you don't trip, and you don't scream when your hair is on fire."
Considering that fire was such a popular element around here, that was probably a good thing. I smiled. "I like you too, big guy."
He was making my stay here bearable, at least. Although I hadn't really come across anything that would make my stay unbearable so far.
Okay, I could have done without the tanks.
"Speaking of flaming hair, I should probably take a shower."
"Okay," said Junior, looking reluctant to let me go.
"We'll play more later," I promised. I went back to my room - once again almost blinded by all the pink - and started preparing the shower. Afterward I would look around for an escape some more.
Actually, I was pretty tired after the tank incident. I decided to take a nap first...and then I'd do more exploring. If Junior didn't drag me off to play first.