Chapter 6
Many days passed since their first field mission to Fort Condor, which ended up being a failure on all counts. Kunsel and Zen were both admitted to the Junon military infirmary and there was no word on their condition since. Exceedingly worried about his friends' conditions, Zack did nothing but squats day after day after day. It was something he usually does when he gets loads of pent-up energy and doesn't feel like going anywhere. He doesn't remember when or why he came to do squats to the point where it was sort of hobby for him, but it helped to relieve any sort of tension he felt when things got a little too much to handle.
Reasonably, Zack could just continue training at the training facility, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to suit up and get to work down there. In his mind's eye, keeping up with training was important, but his heart told him to not neglect his friends either. Both kept competing for top priority as Zack struggles to decide which was more important to him.
If Zen was here, she'd definitely tell me to go train, thought Zack as he does another set of squats in the empty bedroom. But it just feels weird to be there without them.
Suddenly, he hears the front door slide open and goes out to the entrance area to see Kunsel limping towards him on crutches with his injured leg all wrapped up in a cast. The teenage boy was clad in a white t-shirt, blue pants, and one brown boot as his other leg was too weak to bear the weight of a piece of leather footwear.
"Hey," he greets meekly.
"Kunsel!" exclaims Zack, walking up to him with a relieved look on his face. "How are you feeling?"
"Well, the doctors managed to get the bullet out of my leg," began Kunsel. "But I won't be walking around normally for another few weeks."
"That's great!" Zack smiles. "And Zen?"
Upon hearing her name Kunsel lowers his head, his spikey brown hair falling over his eyes.
"I don't know," he says sadly. "She's was put into intensive care. She was hurt pretty badly."
"But she's alive, right?" notes Zack as his heart lifts a little. "That's what matters."
"Yeah, I guess…" Kunsel utters quietly, raising his head so his eyes met Zack's.
The two of them look at each other in silence, unsure of what else to say.
"So…" says Kunsel.
"So…" adds Zack. He lets out an exasperated laugh. "It feels really weird without all of us here."
"So I see," responds Kunsel, managing a smile. "It's a lot quieter without Zen, too."
"Yeah," agrees Zack, scratching his head uncomfortably. "I've been doing squats to keep my mind off of things."
"Squats?" repeats Kunsel, recalling that this was a Zack-exclusive activity. "You've been that nervous, huh?"
"Heh, yeah, I guess," Zack chuckles uneasily. "I just keep doing squats until I'm tired and then I nap."
"Don't nap too much," warns Kunsel. "Zen will get upset with you if she finds out you've been skipping out on training on our account."
"It's not like I wanted to skip out on training," Zack defends anxiously. "I just… I mean… It's…"
Kunsel smiles at Zack, feeling even more appreciative of his friends than ever.
"C'mon," he says, manipulating his crutches to head towards the bedroom.
"Wait, what are you doing?" exclaims Zack in surprise.
"Getting my uniform," replied Kunsel nonchalantly.
"What for?" asks Zack, still clueless on what was going on as he follows his friend through the bedroom door.
"We're going to the training center," Kunsel finally answers as he pulls out a bureau drawer to take out his spare uniform.
"Wha—No, you are not going anywhere near the training facility like that," asserts Zack, crossing his arms across his chest.
"Zack, remember what Zen said about all of us getting into SOLDIER?" began Kunsel. "We're not going to better our chances by lying around and waiting for it to happen."
"But your injury…" utters Zack, dropping his arms.
"Zack, I realized something while I was in the hospital," began Kunsel, manipulating his crutches so he could turn around and face the teenage boy. "These past two years, I never believed in myself. Listening to you and Zen talk about what you were going to do after you got into SOLDIER made me sad because I wouldn't be able to hang out with you guys anymore if I didn't get in."
"Kunsel…" Zack lowers his arms as a serious expression overtakes his face.
"I want to get into SOLDIER just as bad as you guys," says Kunsel, lowering his head. "But I'm just not as dedicated and optimistic. That along with the lack of faith in my own abilities made me lose hope in the dream altogether."
He turns to look at his uniform all folded on top of the bureau.
"But that day at Fort Condor changed everything. When Zen ignored the immense pain she was in to get me off the battlefield safely, that was when I realized it. Achieving your dream isn't just about getting stronger or being confident about making it come true. It's about putting your heart and soul into making the impossible possible. It's about casting aside your fears and doubts and just doing what needs to be done."
Kunsel looks back at Zack with a smile.
"The only one keeping me from getting into SOLDIER… is me," he tells him.
The surprised look on Zack's face morphs into a relieved smile.
"You've changed," he says, crossing his arms happily.
"Heh, for the better I hope," chuckles Kunsel in response.
"Well, I can't say I'm without some flaws of my own," admits Zack. "That day at Fort Condor, I was so focused on defeating as much of the enemy as I could, I didn't bother to check on you even once."
"Zack..." began Kunsel.
"If I had paid more attention, you and Zen wouldn't have…" Zack fades off as the guilt fully set in and he rubs the back of his neck nervously with one hand.
"Zack, you can't always be there for us," says Kunsel. "You're human, after all."
Sighing heavily, Zack turns around and locks his hands behind his head.
"Back home in Gongaga, I'm an only child," he began. "Sure, there were plenty of kids I was friends with, but it just didn't feel… fulfilling, ya know what I mean?"
Kunsel cocks his head to the side. "You weren't that close to them."
"I guess not," thought Zack, looking up at the ceiling. "I never really felt like I needed to protect anyone, you know? Everyone could take care of him or herself, more or less. So I became focused on trying to impress my dad so he'll let me help fight monsters with him, but he refuses to let me do anything remotely dangerous until I was older. It just seems nothing I do is good enough and no one really needed me."
"Can't say I totally understand," sighs Kunsel. "I have close friends back in Mideel and had nothing to hate about my hometown."
"Then why'd you leave?" asks Zack, turning around to face his friend again.
Now it was Kunsel's turn to look up towards the ceiling as he thought about what made him abandon his island paradise.
"It just all felt too good to be true," he says disappointingly. "I was born into this awesome life with nothing to worry about. But… it was too perfect. I felt I had to do something to justify that I deserve it all."
"Heh, seems like Zen is the only one who hasn't been doing this all for herself," says Zack. "And yet, she's so much more upbeat about it all."
"That's what I admire about her," Kunsel admits uncomfortably, looking back at Zack. "No matter how daunting the task, she's always willing to at least try and do her best."
"Well, life is only what you make of it, after all," notes Zack confidently. "You can't get anywhere unless you pick yourself back up."
"Couldn't have said it better myself, Porcupine."
Both boys' hearts nearly leapt out of their chests upon hearing the mysterious third voice. They turn to see the bedroom door slide open to reveal a rather disheveled Zen back in her trademark red tank top and blue jeans with her black hair loosely tied up and Zack-like bangs bouncing over her smiling face. She looked as fit as a fiddle, as if nothing seriously bad had ever happened to her.
"Zen! What on Gaia—" began Zack before he was swiftly interrupted by the girl.
"I'm not going to be kept down by one measly flesh wound," declares Zen proudly, putting one hand on her hip.
"Are you sure you should be walking around?" Kunsel asks worriedly. "You did have a sword go through you, after all."
"Sure I am!" says Zen, laughing out loud until she lets out a sharp wince and hugs her stomach with both arms.
"You ran away from the infirmary, didn't you?" thought Zack, sending a frown towards the girl.
"Of course not," returns Zen, who then winces from another stab of pain. "Okay, maybe I did."
"Zen!" chastises Kunsel.
"It's allright, I'm at least 80% good," asserts the teenage girl, smiling at her friends.
"You know, my father has this saying," begins Zack. "He once told me, 'you don't pick apples before they're ready. They're just not as good as the ones that are'."
"Okay, okay, I get the message," groans Zen, managing half of a smile. "But I was going to go crazy in there surrounded by anything and everything white. My eyes begged for color. I'd rather be holed up in here than that madhouse."
"Well, I guess it's okay if you go to the training facility with us," suggests Kunsel.
"Hey, if you're up for training than so am I," asserts the girl firmly, pointing out Kunsel's leg injury.
"I didn't say anything about training," speaks up the brunette, much to the surprise of Zack who genuinely thought Kunsel was actually going to train. "It seems Zack can't even step foot in the training facility without us there."
"Porcupine! Have you been neglecting training because of us?" demanded Zen, putting her fists on her hips angrily. Then, in the next moment, her sudden anger gives way to full awareness as she realizes why. "Although, I'm flattered you need Kunsel and me to escort you to training."
"W-wait a second!" exclaims Zack nervously, holding up his hands. "It's not like that at all!"
"D'aww, Porcupine misses us so much, he couldn't bear to do anything without us," Zen banters on, locking her hands behind her head as a grin overtook her face.
"No! I-I just figured that as long as we all go together, you guys won't get left behind in the training, that's all," stutters Zack, trying to cover himself. "Plus, it's near the infirmary so if anything happens, we're taking you out." He then looks at Kunsel, who was snickering quietly. "You, too."
"No disagreements here," responds Kunsel nonchalantly, smiling hard to stop snickering.
With cheeks burning red with embarrassment, Zack rushes to the bureau to take out Zen's uniform and tosses the clothes at her.
"Just go get changed already," he huffs anxiously.
Catching her uniform effortlessly, Zen grins happily as she heads to the bathroom to change.
A/N: Too much testosterone in this chapter, we need some estrogen, stat! Oh wait, Zen's back. Heh…