Hello everyone, sorry it took a little bit longer this time, hope you enjoy it...and if you do don't forget to review.
BPOV
I woke on Sunday feeling very tired; my night had been filled with nightmares, these had taken the place of the usual dreams I had about Edward. In some I was crying because he had left and I was searching aaround the school for him, in others he was right in front of me, smiling with his arms inviting me, but something always kept me away from him, sometimes it was my mother, sometimes it was Jacob, and other times it was Principle Clapp.
I struggled to get up and eventually was able to; I took a long shower, brushed my teeth and went downstairs. To my surprise it was after eleven, I usually didn't get up so late, I ate my breakfast and turned on the TV to keep myself from thinking about Edward, but that was impossible.
After everything that happened yesterday I could only see two ways that things might go, one Edward would leave or push me away, the other was that he or better we would find a way to make things work and somehow let our relationship grow. Of course for me there was only one option, because even if he left or pushed me away I was never going to forget about him. That sounded really desperate, but if he left would I be able to move on? Or, would I become one of those ladies that wait their whole live for the love of their lives, which never comes. I was so pathetic.
My phone rang and thankfully took me away from my thoughts, and to my surprise it was Edward, and yes I might have made a victory dance before I answered. His call would let me know which option he was considering of following, my heart speeded to frantic rhythm.
"Hey dad." – I decided to go light and funny, I could hear the smile form on his lips.
"Hello Bella, can we talk."- Oh! This was it…I was invaded by fear and my body started to shake, it took all my strength to hide what I was feeling and to keep things light and funny.
"Yes, sir…the coast is clear."
"Did you sleep well?"- Was he trying to see if I was rested enough to handle what was coming? So I was honest.
"No, not really…I had a lot to think about…I must say that I'm a bit surprised you called, I thought you might have emigrated by now."- Oops, my nerves took the best of me, making say things I didn't want to.
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, I thought that once you really had time to think about what happened, you would realize the mistake you had made, and run as far from me as you possibly could."- That would be the logical thing to do. I knew that a man like him could not fall for a girl like me…
"You really thought that?"
"Yes."
"Why?"-Wasn't it obvious, he was an intelligent man; it was only a matter of time before he realized how plane and uninteresting I was.
"I thought you would have come to your senses, and realized that I'm not worth the trouble."
"If you saw yourself the way I see you…you wouldn't say those things."- How I wish that was truth. Could it be possible that a beautiful god like him would find me interesting? I had to find out.
"How do you see me?"
"Worth everything."- Say what? My heart beat even faster at the sound of his words; he said I was worth everything. I did hear that, didn't I? Was this possible?
"You must have really fried you brain, Mr. Cullen." – That was it.. he was going crazy…
"You're wrong…I have to go…I just wanted to hear your voice."- He wanted to hear my voice…oh…I wanted to believe that so bad, but my fear of being hurt wouldn't let me.
"Oh, don't say things like that to me."
"Why? Can handle it?"-He was using my words against me; I had to laugh, so I did the same…
"You are playing with fire, Mr. Cullen."
"I know, but you set my life on fire, so I'm getting used to it."-Oh, God…What was he saying? Did that meant that I had destroyed his life? Or was he burning up with desire just like I was?
"Hum…"
"You don't believe me."- No…but the thought of the small possibility of him desiring me gave the strength to tease him.
"Maybe you can show me sometime."
"Who's playing with fire now?"- The intensity in his voice was incredible and made me melt. But at the same time fear invade my body again.
"I'm afraid."
"Don't be…it's going to be ok."- Is it? How?
"That all depends on what ok is for you."
"Just trust me…"- How I wished I could, but I was so afraid of being hurt…what I felt for him was so strong, making so vulnarable, that he could destroy me if he walked away, I knew this sounded I bit pathetic. But the intensity in his voice was so strong, that I allowed myself to hope, just a little bit…
"I'll try."
"I really have to go now."- No, don't go…I wanted to keep talking, but I did not have the courage to ask him not to hang up.
"Ok, bye."- And by the way, I love you…to an insane level.
"Bye."
I just sat there trying to understand the conversation we just had. Would things really be alright? Did that mean that we would try to make things work out between us? I so afraid to be hopeful, what if I understood things wrong?
I was so absorbed in my thought that time flew by and I was interrupted by the door bell, I had no idea what time it was. I opened the door to see Jacob smiling at me. I had completely forgotten that I had invited Jacob to come spend the afternoon with me.
"Hi, Bella? Uh! You look awful. Are you sick? – Yeah! I sick in love with our teacher! Jacob would die if I told him that.
"Hello, thank you for the compliment."- He made a guilty look and said:
"Sorry, but you have looked better, is everything alright?"
"Yes, I just didn't sleep well."
"You could have called me."
"I know…"- He smiled widely.
"So did you pick a movie?"-I shook my head no."No problem, I brought a few."- And he showed me a paper bag with six dvd's.
"Why don't you just surprise me, and pick one yourself?" - I went to sit on the couch, he followed me and took a DVD out of the bag and placed on the DVD player he took the remote and set next to me.
He had chosen the "City of Angels", I loved that movie… and he knew that. We watch the movie in silence and the story touched deeper than ever. I was crying by the end of it.
Would my story with Edward be like that? Short… intense, and life changing? Or, would it last? Would I end up watching the sun rise in some beach, and remember my lost love? And if I lost him, would it all be worth it? Would a brief but intense love story be enough? I realized that I would take whatever he decided to give me, because the thought of not having him at all, was excruciating.
Once again I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I completely forgotten about Jacob, who was now looking at me with a puzzled look.
"What's going on with you?"
"Nothing…I was just thinking about love."
"About love?"
"Yes, I was just thinking about what it would be like to love someone like that. In a way so fulfilling that even if it ended it would have been worth it."- He grimaced
"You are so complicated...you think about the end before it's even started. It's just so stupid."
"I don't think it stupid; I think, it is wise to consider all the possibilities."
"To consider all the possibilities…"-He tried to mimic me and did a terrible job, I just rolled my eyes at him.-"Bella, sometime you just have to stop thinking and just let go…in love there are no certainties, it can always go different ways, good or bad, but if you don't take a chance, you might lose the opportunity to find happiness, even if for a short period of time, like in the movie." My mouth dropped, where was this wisdom coming from? It was so absurd to hear this kind of words coming from Jacob's mouth, and before I knew it I was laughing hard.
He just looked offended and said: "What?"
"Where did that come from?"- I manage to say as tried to catch my breath. He looked a little embarrassed.
"Well, maybe I might have been reading some of my sisters girly magazines…just has research, you know, to get into the female mind". I just burst into laughing again.-"It's not that funny."- he was blushing now, and that made me laugh even harder.
"I'm sorry, but I was just picturing you reading a magazine like Cosmo, and it is really funny." – I just laughed again.-"I'm sorry, I'll stop…why don't you put another DVD on, while I put some popcorns in the microwave."
He put another movie on, I was looking at the TV screen but I wasn't seeing anything, all I could think about was Jacob's words. He was right, I was so worried about how my relationship with Edward would end that I was not enjoying its beginning, if there was going to be one. My mind kept thinking about that and I just started to feel so sleepy that before I knew I was leaning against Jacob's shoulder and felt asleep. And my dreams took me back to the Italian restaurant's parking lot, but this time, I had courage to lift my feet and I kissed Edward in the most passionate way…
"Bella, Bella awake up!"- I could feel Jacob's breath against the skin of my face. My body stiffened…could he be that close to me? I did not move, not wanting to come even closer to him and give him the wrong impression. I opened my eyes slowly… and saw Jacob's face only inches from mine.-"you fell asleep. I didn't want to move and awake you, but I have to go, it's dinner time."
"Really?"- He was still very close to me, so I put my hands in front of my face, force him to move back and stretched myself.-"I'm sorry for sleeping."- I said as I stood up.
"It was really interesting watching you sleep…" – I looked at him, and wondered what he meant by that.
"I can imagine…"
"You looked very beautiful in your sleep; I almost let you take advantage of me." – He said with a fake shy smile on his face.
"What does that mean?"- What could I had possibly done to make him say that? I quickly searched my mind to remember what I was dreaming about, and when I did, I panicked. Had I mentioned Edward's name in my sleep? He just burst into laughing. – "Please tell what happened, Jacob Black!"
"Uh! This is funny!"- He said and I could feel my anger taking over my body.
"Tell me what I did."- I shouted desperately at him, that made him realized that I was not joking.
"Ok, calm down…you just asked me to kiss you, and told me that you loved, and for me not to go away. You looked so beautiful and desperate that I almost did kissed you."
"That was it? I did I mentioned any names or something?"- I had to ask, but that made Jacob become curious.
"Was there a specific name you should have mentioned?"
"No! And don't get the wrong idea…I was dreaming about the movie, about the Angel."-Ok, so it was a half lie, because I was dreaming about an angel named Edward.
"Oh..."-He looked disappointed.-"I guess I should have taken the opportunity to kiss you then."-He said smiling.
"Jacob Black, you…"- I was interrupted by my mother walking in the door, before I had the chance to throw a pillow at Jacob's face.
"Hey kids"- She said smiling, and looking at me questionably. She stood half way in…
"Hi, mom." – Right behind her was a tall, brown haired guy with a baseball hat on. I looked at her and she was beaming with happiness. I gathered that the weekend went well. She walked in and pulled the guys hand so that he came in.
"Bella, this is Phil."- Than, she turned to him.-"Phil this is Bella, my beautiful daughter.
He smiled at me shyly and extended his hand to greet me in his other hand there was a box of pizza, I could tell he was really nervous. He was taller than my mon, had an athletic body, he was good looking, not like Edward of course, because, Edward was like a Greek god. Phil seemed like a nice man, he was in his early thirties, he had a beautiful smile. I could see why Renée was so, head over heels by him.
"It's nice, to finally meet you."- I shook his hand, and he seemed to relax a bit.
"It's nice to meet you to, Bella, your mother told me a lot about you."
"Don't believe it, she has a tendency to exaggerate when it come to me."-I said smiling.
"Hello, I'm Jacob."- Jacob came from behind me and introduced himself.
"I'm Phil, are you Bella's boyfriend?- I felt my blood rush to my face making red as a tomato, and heard Jacob giggle.
"Unfortunately no, she's a bit stubborn, and hasn't realized that she loves me. But I'm a patient man."-My mouth dropped and my anger suppressed my embarrassment. I couldn't believe he was saying these things to my mother's boyfriend, who I just met. My mother just laughed.
I looked at her with the most furious eyes I could possibly make and then I turned to Jacob, ready to release the intensity of my anger. He looked at me and laughed and that made me fume.
"Don't look at me like that…"-He said smiling and shielding himself like a coward behind Phil.-"You're the one who tried to kiss me in your sleep."- That did it.
"You…"
"Bella!"-My mom interrupted me.-"We have company, behave."
"You are asking me to behave, you should ask Jacob to behave. Did you hear what he just said?"
"Yes, it was kind of cute…"-My mother said smiling and I lost it…
"Cute…you think…"
"Bella…"- I held my words to not embarrass my mother in front of her boyfriend; I took a deep breath to call down.
"I'm sorry for my behavior, Phil. But that boy doesn't know when to shut up, and to leave when obviously he is not welcome anymore. That made Jacob smile even more as he walk to the door.
"I'll see tomorrow, Bella, and you are really cute when you are mad, did you know that."-I wanted to tell him, that someone already told me that, someone a lot more interesting than him. I didn't even look at him, and went to the kitchen to set the table.
My mother followed me a little after, and give that "I'm disappointed at you" look, I opened my mouth speak my mind, but Phil came in and I just put my best looking smile. But my mother saw right through me.
Dinner went well, Phil was a good man, I could tell my mother was really in love, I had never seen her this happy. We talked about their weekend, about his job as a baseball player, about him and his family. After about one hour I said goodbye to Phil and excused myself with the false pretend I still had some homework to do.
I went upstairs took my phone and wrote the most menacing text I had ever written and told Jacob Black how much I hated him. A few minutes later I got a text from him say: "There is very thin line between love and hate, I'll just be patient." I couldn't believe it; it made me even more furious at him.
I went to my bathroom and got ready for bed, but I wasn't tired so I picked a book and started to read, but my mind flew to Edward and I started to remember every detail of his face, his smile, his hair, his eyes and the way they looked at me, his hands on my body, his face close to mine, his lips on my skin…and that was all it took me before to help fall asleep.
I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock, I stretched in my bed and quickly got up realizing I was going to see Edward today. I showered, and put extra work on my appearance, I wanted to look good. The day seemed to be hot, so I decided to wear a dress, which was something I usually didn't do. I was all about t-shirts and jeans, but today I wanted to feel beautiful.
I only had two dresses, my mom had bought, I picked a blue sleeveless dress, with tank straps, a v-neck and backline, empire waist, it was knee length, I put on a pair of sandals and a white coat, I look at the mirror and was surprise to see that I looked really good.
I went downstairs and my mom was already in the kitchen she looked at me and her moth dropped in surprise.
"Bella, you look beautiful…"- Then her face change and she looked at me studying me.-"Why are you dressed like that?" – Uh! I didn't want to lie to my mother, but I couldn't tell her the real reason, but I remember a good excuse.
"I'm going directly from school to my interview at AliRose, and I want to make a good impression, what do you think?"
"I completely forgot about that, you look beautiful, I bet all the boys will be looking at you today."- I only wanted one person to be looking at me.-"I went to your room last night after Phil left so we could talk a little but you were already asleep. So tell me! What did you think of him? Isn't he just the cutest thing?
"He seems to be a really nice guy, I'm happy for you…so tell me about the weekend…did you do it?"- First she looked at me with a fake shocked expression, but she couldn't hold it for long, before a big smile appeared on her lips.
"Oh, Bella, it was so wonderful, I think I'm in love."- She curvered her face with her hands in embarrassment. I walked to her and removed her hands so that I could look in her eyes and said:
"I'm happy for you, mom, you deserve to be happy."- And I tightly hugged her.
"Your day will come soon, you'll see."-How I wished that she was right.-"By the way what happened with Jacob yesterday? What was that about you trying to kiss him?"-The sound of his name made me furious.
"Don't even say his name…that moron. I was dreaming about…a movie we saw and apparently talked in my sleep and he thought I was talking about him. He is so full of himself!- My mom smiled.
"I think he likes, a lot!"- I grimaced to the sound of that.
"Well, but I don't like him that way."
"Things could always change…"
"Not this. I like him, but like a friend, like a brother, there's no…"
"Chemistry?"-My mom interrupted me.
"No, no chemistry at all."
"Well in that case, keep your eyes open today, because with the way you look, all eyes will be on you."- I rolled my eyes in response, and we just laughed together.- "What time will you be done with your interview?"
"I have no idea; I have to be there by four. I don't know how long it will take. Why?"
"Phil, invited us to diner."
"Oh. Where?"
"He said it was a surprise but to he did ask if we liked Italian food."- My mind raced to my last meal in an Italian restaurant.-"Bella, did you just hear, what I said?"
"What? Sorry I was just thinking of something…"
"Hum… I was saying that, Phil is picking me up at six, if you are still at the interview, I'll just text you with the name and directions for the place."
"That sounds great."
We had our breakfast together and continued talking about Phil, it was kind of crazy to see my mom in love like this, but I was truly happy for her. I wonder if she would be as happy for me, if I told her about Edward, or would she completely freak out?
The ride to school was good, the sun was shining and the day was warm, it was a beautiful day of spring. I got to school and parked at my usual place, as I was walking to the class building, I couldn't help myself and looked at the faculty's parking lot, and there was Edward's silver Volvo, I had to smile at the memories that invade my mind, but my thoughts were interrupted.
"Bella? Is that you?" – It was Mike; he was looking at me with an astonished look in his face.
"Hi, Mike."
"Wow…you look different…you look good…I mean, I don't think I ever seen you in a dress…wow."-I started to walk a little bit faster, but I could still feel Mike's eyes appraising me. When we got to the door, Angela and Jessica were waiting for me. They had a huge smile on their faces.
"Bella! You have to come with us, now!"- They took my hand, and dragged me inside.
"What's wrong? Is everything ok?"- They just kept giggling and stopped in front of my locker. I turned to it and to my surprise there was a beautiful red rose taped to it. My heart started to race, I took the rose carefully and wrapped around it was a piece of paper, I opened it and in the most beautiful hand print I ever saw it was writen:
To me you are like a rose's sunshine,
so full of energy and light,
that never does it fail to lift my spirits.
Just by the sound of your voice and that look in your eye.
D.A.D.
I knew right away it had to be from Edward, even before I read the signature."D.A.D.", he was giving me a clue so that I knew it was from him. I could feel my friends eyes on me, but I felt like I had been taken to a different universe, I could feel the smile forming in my lips, I felt like I was floating in the air. Does this mean he had decided not to push me away? Does this mean there was hope?
"What does it say?" – Jessica asked.
"You have to tell us…Bella? Who's it from?"-I come back down to earth and read the note to them, their mouths dropped.
"Wow, that's beautiful."
"But who is that? D.A.D.? Are those initials?"
"I have no idea."- I lied.-"Maybe it's just a prank."- I said trying not to give too much importance. And started to walk towards my first class, I felt like my feet were not even touching the ground. I could hear Angela and Jessica throwing names in the air trying to discover who might have given me that beautiful rose.
I sat in my usual place, and just stared at the beautiful flower in my hand, I felt when Jacob set next to me but I didn't even look at him. I felt his eyes on me during the entire class, which I have no idea what it was about because, all my mind could take right now was the rose and all that it might meant.
The bell rang and I quickly got up, because I didn't want to talk to Jacob, so I left before he had a chance to talk to me. I needed to see Edward but at the same time, I was afraid of what my reaction would be if I saw him. So I just went from class to class avoiding Jacob, until we were walking to lunch and he stopped me by grabbing my arm.
"Why are you avoiding me?"
"Oh, you have to ask? Did you forget how much you embarrassed me in front of my mom's boyfriend, yesterday?"- He just smiled.
"I was joking, Bella."
"Joking? Did you see me laughing?"
"I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. And you have no idea how cute you look, when you are mad."
"I hate you…you know that, right?- He opened his mouth to speak, but I didn't give him the chance.-"I know what you are about to say…so don't. Because I'm may lose my mind and give you what you deserve."
"Ok, I'm sorry…"-Then he looked at the rose, I was carrying."-Are you going to tell me who gave that rose?"
"I'm not talking to you anymore"-And I just turned around to go away, but he stopped me again, by holding my arm firmly. And that made me furious.
"Jacob Black, let go of me, now!"
"No, not until you tell me, who he is!"- I looked at him fuming but before I could speak, someone came to my rescue.
"Is everything alright, with you two?"- It was Emmet, and he had his eyes on Jacob's grip on me, who immediately let my arm go and I sighed in relief.
"Everything is fine, Coach."-Jacob said, he turned to me and whispered before going away.-"Just remember what you promised me on Saturday."- What? Was he referring to the promise I made to him about telling him if I had a boyfriend?
"Bella are you ok?"- Emmet asked with a concerned look.
"Yes, thank you."
"What's with him? Is he your boyfriend or something?"- I was surprised by Emmet's question and the way he was looking at me.
"No! He is not my boyfriend, nor will he ever be."-A huge smiled came to Emmet's lips.
"I'm happy to hear that."
"You are? Why?"- He just smiled and winked at me and left. What was that all about? I had no idea what just happened, but I was not allowing anything to spoil my day.
I got my lunch and went to sit with my friends; they all just looked at me.
"So, Bella, did you find out, who send you the rose?"-Angela asked.
"No, I haven't. I have no idea who it might be. I just hope he is cute, maybe he'll ask me to the spring dance."- I had to play along with the situation. I could feel Jacob's eyes on me, but he didn't say a word.
During lunch time, everyone except for Jacob, talked about who the mystery admirer might be, we looked around the cafeteria imagine who it might be. I knew my mystery man would not be found here, but I played a long, trying my best to hide the anxiety I was feeling about seeing Edward next period.
I excused myself earlier to go to the bathroom, I wanted to check how I looked, I walked out of the bathroom and decided to walk to my next class, it was still early and the halls were practically empty.
When I got to the class room the lights were on, but the door was closed, my heart started to race, considering that Edward might be inside. I struggled with myself trying to decide if I should just wait or knock on the door. I went with the second option, because was dying to see him, so I knocked on the door.
"Please come in."-Edward's voice answered from the inside, and the sound of his voice made me forget everything else. I walked in and he was sitting behind his desks and when he saw me, he was perplexed for a moment, and his eyes appraised me, and I smiled, the look in his face was worth every extra minute I had spent getting ready. Our eyes met, and I saw the intensity of his feelings in his eyes, my knees gave in and I had to lean against the door to restrain myself from falling. He smiled and saw I was holding the rose, and he flushed a little.
"Thank you, for the rose and the words… I'm happy, I'm able to lift your spirits"- He just smiled knowing I meant a lot more than I said.
"I'm glad you like it…You look very beautiful today."
"Thanks…"- We just kept each other's gaze and a few moments went by before he broke the silence.
"I came early, because I was hoping you might do the same, and I was right."- He said pleased with himself.
"Oh…"- Was all I could say, my brain was shutting down...
"I'm happy you did, because you just…just... look great in that dress…and… I don't know what my reaction would be… if I only saw you during class."-His eyes kept coming up and down my body, enjoying what I looked like.
"You shouldn't look at me like that."
"Why?"
"Because, I might do something crazy…"- He smiled that crooked smile, got up and leaned against the desk.
"And, what would that be?"- I bit my lower lip, thinking of all the things I wanted to do to him and of course blushed, but the way he looked at me, made me feel more confident.
"Well, I might just go to you and…"- I felt my cheeks burn, I had never had a conversation like this before, I could see he was enjoying it, but my courage started to crumble.
"And?"- He encouraged me to go on.
"And…I'll show you sometime...when we are not at school."-He smiled again, closed his eyes and exhaled loudly.
"I'll make note of that..."- His eyes burned with the intensity of his feelings.-" What time are you meeting Alice and Rose?"
"At four, why?- He had just completely changed the subsject, my brain took a few seconds to assimilate his words.
"Would you mind if I stopped by so that we could talk a little bit, without being disturbed?"
"Talk?"- He gave me fake shocked look and said.
"Yes, Ms. Swan, to talk. I think we have a lot to talk about, don't you."- I gave my best disappointed look.
"If that all you want to do. Ok."- He looked at me and shook his head.
"Bella, Bella, you'll be the death of me…"
"That sounds a bit tragic, don't you think."- I said as walked to my desk.
"Maybe…but you have no idea, what is going on my mind right now... I had come up with this wonderful plan, but you come in here, looking even more beautiful in that dress, and I forget about everything."- My heart swelled with joy at the sound of his words.
"You made a plan?"
"Yes, it took me almost all night, I considered all of the variations, all possible angles, and problems, but you… in that dress…you have no idea how much strength it is taking not to go there and…"- I smiled and bit my lower lip.
"And?"- The roles were reversed again, and realizing that he smiled.
"And…I might show you sometime, when we are not at school."- We smiled at each other.
"This afternoon sounds like a great opportunity…to show each other a few... things."- I was surprised at my words; and the effect he had on me. He made this new confident Bella emerge and take over my body. This new Bella was very different from me, she knew waht she wanted and went for it without any fear or embaressament.
He opened his mouth to speak but, the bell rang and he just smiled at me mischievously, and my heart bit faster in anticipation.
In little time the classroom was filled with talking teenagers, no one seemed to notice that I was already in the class room, except for Jacob who looked at me suspiciously. I ignored him and opened my notebook and just started to draw on it.
"Hello, everyone, did you have a nice weekend?" – Edward said, starting the class, only a few spoke in reply, of course one of them was Lauren.-"I'm happy you had a good time, because I certainly did."
"Was she cute?"- Mike asked jokingly, and Edward smiled.
"No, cute doesn't come close, she was beautiful."- Everyone just laughed. Could he be referring to me? I calm myself down so my face would give me away, and didn't dare to look up.
"Way to go."- Colin said.
"It was her, that inspired my choice of the poem I bring to, you today."- He picked up some sheets of paper and asked Lauren to distribute them, and she was delighted to do it. When I got mine I read the poem, it was from Pablo Neruda.
Like a puma in the barren wilderness
I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent, starving I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disquiets me,
I search the liquid sound of your steps all day.
I hunger for your sleek laugh,
For your hands the color of the wild grain,
I hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.
I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your loveliness,
The nose, sovereign of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,
And I walk hungry, smelling the twilight
Looking for you, for your hot heart,
Like a puma in the barren wilderness.
Oh, my God…I did not know what to think, what did this mean? He craved my mouth, my voice? He wanted to eat my skin. My heart was beating so fast that I could hear the sound of it, and Jacob turned to face me. For a moment I thought he might have heard it to, because he came closer but he said:
"Bella, I'm sorry, I was such a jerk. Please forgive me."- I just looked the other way and he insisted.-"Bella, please.
"Not now, we'll talk after class ok?"
"Promise?"
"Yes."
"Jacob, do you have anything you want to share with us?"- Edward asked him, Jacob looked at the sheet of paper and quickly read the poem.
"Well, the guy seems a bit despaired…"
"Ok, do you think love can lead to despair?"
"Yes, if it not returned."-He said bitterly and looking to me.
"Is that the only way possible? Or is it possible you could love or want someone so bad that, like Pablo, you would hunt that person down like a puma?"
"That sounds a bit sick, like a stalker" – Jessica said.
"Why do you say that, Jessica?"
"Well, he is saying he wants to eat her skin, and hunt her down, that's sick."
"You have to keep in mind that he is comparing himself to a puma. He is saying that like a puma needs and hunts his prey, he needs this woman."
"Oh, I still think it is kind of sick."
"Is love, like this or are we talking about lust?"
"Definitely lust."-Mike said.
"Why do you said, that?"
"You should tell us. Why did, that girl inspired you to bring this poem."- Edward laughed.
"Nice try…I know why, but I want you to figure it out by yourselves."- Mike grimaced.
"I say it is lust, because, the guy, like wants to eat her, that sounds a lot like sex to me."
"But aren't they connected?"- No one answered.
"I think they are."-I said, and everyone looked at me, including Edward, I slowly raise my eyes to meet his.
"Please explain."- Edward said, his face showed no emotion, but his eyes showed that he was eager to hear my answer, so I gathered all of my strength and continued.
"I Think there is lust without love, what you would call...one night stands...but there isn't true love without lust. Because, if you really love someone, and that love is strong, you desire that person, and that desire can be as strong as the desire a puma has for its prey. It can consume you and become more important than anything, even food or water or the air that you breathe."-Nobody said a word, I looked up and Edward was smiling that crooked smile.
"Well done... Bella."-His voice showed no emotion, but his eyes burned with intensiity, he quickly turned to Mike and said.-"Do you agree with that?"
"I don't know…I don't think you can find love like that, I think it is only in books, or girls imaginations, its fiction."
"I'm afraid I have to disagree, with you."- Edward said.
"Is that how you feel, about your girl?"-Mike asked.
"Well, wouldn't you like to know that?"- He smiled, but the bell rang, and class was over.-"I want you to write your opinion on this poem, no more than twenty lines."
I slowly gather my things, because I knew Jacob would be waiting for me, I took one last look at Edward, that had a bunch of girls around him. I felt like acting like a puma scrare them away and claim what was mine. But the fact was that he wasn't mine, not yet, anyway.
I walked out and Jacob was waiting for me leaning against the wall, I walked to him.
"Ok, talk!"- I said coldly, I knew I was turning this into more then it actually was, but he had to realize once and for all, that I didn't feel the same way about him.
"I want to apologize, I'm really sorry about what I did. Its killing me, the way you're treating me."
"You deserve it."
"I said I was sorry."
"Are you sorry about this morning to? What was that about?"
"That, rose…do you know who sent it to you?"
"No."- I lied, again…
"What you said in class…do you...do you...feel that way about anyone?"
"No."- I lied, again but I was not very convincing.
"You're lying, I can see it."- I looked at him, and sadness was all over his eyes.
"No I'm not."
"I knew it, you promised you would tell me."- His voice was becoming louder and people were starting to look at us.
"I promised I would tell you when I had a boyfriend, and I don't have one."
"But you are in love, aren't you?"- He was making me angry again.
"What if I am? What's it to you?"
"You are…, I knew it...I lost…"- He looked at me, tears shining in his eyes and then he just turned around and left. I just stood there, not knowing what to do, but feeling terrible for hurting my friend.
I heard the bell ring, letting me know that my next class was about to start, but after what just happened I couldn't just go in there and sit next to Jacob. So I went to a place I knew it would be empty for at least one more hour.
The paper's room was the best place to be alone right now; I knew that the rest of the team wouldn't be there until school was over. I went inside and closed the door; I set down around the big meeting table and just let my face fall on my hands.
I wasn't sure what I was feeling, I felt sad because I knew I had hurt Jacob, but I was mad about the way he was acting. Haven't I told him, that I didn't feel the same way about him? So why was he trying to force me to change? Could it be that his feelings for me were that strong? Like mine were for Edward? Because I knew that, if Edward did not loved me that I would be unable to move on. Was that how it was for Jacob?
"Bella, are you alright."- I heard Edward's concerned voice, I looked up and he was standing next to me, I had been so into my thoughts that I didn't even hear him coming in the room.-"What's wrong? I saw you arguing with Jacob, is everything alright?"
"Not really. But shouldn't you be in class?"
"Don't you think I should be the one asking you that?"-He said smiling gently as he took the a seat next to mine.
"Well, maybe, but you're the adult here, you have responsibilities, as for me, on the other hand I'm a simple student, and everyone knows it is healthy to ditch class sometimes."- He laughed.
"Really?"
"Hu, uh."- And I made my most serious look.-"It's in the students survival manual and everything."
"Oh…and does that manual give any advice to students who fall in love with their teachers?"
"Oh, yes, it is a very complete manual."- He smiled widely.
"And, what does it say?"- I knew he was trying to distract me from what I was feeling, and it was definitely working.
"I don't think you will like it."
"Try me."- Oh! God… He was driving me crazy, if he knew what I was thinking he wouldn't have said that, but that new Bella was taking over me again.
"Well, it says, that if you happened to be alone with that especific teacher, that you should not waist the opportunity and you should try to kiss him."- I said shyly.
"Really…and do you follow that manual strictly?"- I couldn't believe that he continued teasing me like that. Didn't he know that I was just a hormonal teenager?
"I have to warn you, Mr. Cullen... that you are crossing a very dangerous line."- He grinned and leaned closer to me, close enough for me to feel his breath on my face.
"Does that mean you are going to try to kiss me right now?"- And he faked the most shocked look in his face.-"Maybe I should just leave, before you jump at me like a puma or something."
"Maybe you should…that is definitively a possibility..."- And I leaned forward almost closing the distance between us, setting my heart into a frantic pounding rhythm, I could hardly breath.
"Bella…".- He said through uneven breaths, but he didn't move.
"Kiss me…"- I whispered and he smiled mischievously.
"You, kiss me…"-He teased me. So he didn't want to make the first move…I really wanted to kiss him and he knew that, and was probably counting on it, but I was having too much fun.
"No, you do it."- I teased him and I slowly licked my lips, my tongue slightly touching his lips. He just groaned, closed his eyes and his breathing became heavier.
"I guess you don't follow that manual as strictly as you said."- And he moved back a little to look me in the eyes with an amusing look in his face.
"Just kiss me…"- I begged. He continued smiling and caressed my cheek with his hand, then he moved closer, but not in the direction I wanted, he kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear.
"I will, but not now and definitely not here."- He let me go and leaned back in his chair, putting a safe distance between us. I just stood there for a few seconds, with my eyes closed and lingering with me memory of his touch.-"Are you going to tell me what happened?"- Unwillingly I opened my eyes and leaned back in my chair with disappointment spread across my face, might have pouted a little, and he just smiled.
"With Jacob?" - He nodded.-"Jacob and I have been friends for a long time, he is or was my best friend…I've told you this before, haven't I?"-He nodded again in response.-"But lately he wants to be more than that, and can't accept the fact that I don't. When he saw the rose you gave me, he kind of freak out, it was kind of weird…I was so mad that I think, I might have hurt his feelings and now I feel bad about it, but he just doesn't know when to back off"
"I can't say I blame him, look at you, you are so beautiful and interesting…"- I just rolled my eyes.
"Please, you don't have to say that, just to make me feel better."
"Why do you do always say that? Don't you have any idea the effect you have on the male population? Especially today…in that dress."
"Right."- I knew I wasn't beautiful, and it was hard to believe that someone would see me that way, especially someone like Edward.
"You have to learn to have more confidence in yourself. To become like…"- He was searching for the right word, and I saw that has an opportunity to change the subject.
"Like a pumain the barren wilderness?"- He smiled that crooked smile that made me melt.
"Yes…"
"Is that how you feel?"-I wanted to ask him that since I read the poem in class.-"Were you referring to me…in class?"-I asked shyly, without any courage to look at him. He put his hand under my chin and lifted it, so that I was facing him.
"Yes and yes."- My heart swelled with joy and a big smile appeared on my lips.
"That is so hard for me to believe in…"
"Why?"
"Because it is…I mean, you are dazzling gorgeous... man like you don't crave for girls like me, it's unnatural. You should be with someone like...like Rosalie…"-He put his hand over my lips, so I would stop talking.
"You're wrong, and for you information, I like brunettes and Rosalie is slightly boring. "- I had a hard time believing that, and my face must have shown that.-"You don't believe me, do you?"- I just shook my head, no.-"Then you are a very silly, beautiful insecure girl. Because if you had any idea of the risk I'm taking, just to be here alone with you…you would realize how seriously true my feelings are for you."
That was a bit of shock to me, I had never really thought about that…he was my teacher and older than me, if someone walked in and found us, he would lose his job, or worse, he could be charged with something. I started to panic.
"You should leave."- He smiled and gently took my hand in his.
"We have a lot to talk about, Bella…don't worry, it will be ok."- He gave me an assuring smile and kissed my hand. I loved that fact that he was doing that, but the fear of hurting him was greater than that, and I pulled my hand away and pushed my chair further away from him. He smiled widely.-"Have you finished my interview for the paper?"
"No, I haven't even started; I had a very distracting weekend."
"Then you better get to it, Ms. Swan, before your friends get here and you have to explain to them why you haven't done it."
"That would be very interesting, wouldn't it?"
"That's an understatement. Now get started, I'm going to go now, I'll be back in a bit, after everyone is here."
"Ok."-He hadn't even left and I was already missing him…I was so pathetic. I wanted to tell him not to go away, but I knew it was necessary.
After he left I went to one of the computers, got my notebook out and stated to write the article about Edward and Emmet, I was done when the rest of the team came in, and we all joined around the big meeting desk and talked about the progress of our assignments. Everyone was curious about how the interview went. I showed them the print of what I had just finished and they all love it.
"It's missing something."- Angela said. I looked at it and she was right, it was missing a few pictures.
"You are right; we should put a few pictures of them."- That would be fun; everyone agreed that it was a good idea. The meeting moved on and everyone got a chance to talk about what they were doing, Edward came in quietly and took a seat next to Angela.
"You seem not to need my help, so I think I'll just go."- Edward said, after everyone was done talking.
"Actually I need something from you."- I said, and I could see that Edward made an effort to hide his true reaction to my words."
"I'm all yours."- He was teasing me again; I had to concentrate really hard not to give him the answer he deserved to hear. Lauren just looked at him completely melting in her chair, I wanted to kill her. I was really turning into a puma!
"Well, we need some pictures of you and your brother for the article, is that ok with you?"- He grimaced.
"Is that really necessary?"- He was shy, and that was so cute.
"Yes"- Angela and I said together.
"Ok, then…"- He said defeated.-"But we have to do it now, because I have an important meeting this afternoon."
"Uh, are you meeting that girl?"- Connor said.
"Maybe…"- Edward said smiling.
"Is she hot?"- Connor asked and Edward just laughed and I felt my face blush.
"You have no idea, Connor, and that's all I'm going to say."- Connor smiled and we all laughed.-"Who is the photographer?"- Edward asked to change the subject.
"That would be me."-Angela said.
"Where do you want do to this?"- She turned to me for instructions, since it was my article.
"We can do it outside, maybe near the football field. What do you think?"
"It sounds great. Emmet is probably in practice now, so that will make it easier."- Of course I already knew that, and that was the reason I suggested it. Edward smile at me in approval realizing that.
Angela got her camera and we went outside, as we walked Edward talk to Angela and asked her a few question about herself, she was surprised but answered all of them. It was wonderful to see Edward like this; he really cared about his students and wanted to know them better, that made my heart feel stronger about him.
When we got to the football field, practice was half way through the team was in the middle of field doing some exercises, we came closer to the side line and some of the boys looked our way and stopped abruptly what they were doing and because of that, they started to knock each other down. It was like a comic scene in a movie, very funny. Who didn't see the fun it was Coach Uley and Emmet that looked our way. Edward waved at Emmet, and he said something to the Coach and came to meet us.
"Get your asses up; never seen a pretty girl before?"- Coach Uley roared, and the boys all started to get up.
"Hey, bro! What brings you all here?"- He smiled widely and looked at me in a funny way.
"We wanted to take some pictures of you and Edward for the article is that possible?"- I asked and Emmet scratched is head thoughtfully and then smiled.
"Yeah, I can do that, but you'll have to wait a little bit. Let me get the guys playing and I'll be right over."
"That will be great, if that's alright with you Edward."- Angela said.
"It's fine with me." – Edward answered has Emmet turned around to walk back to the field, but he stopped and turned to me.
"Bella, can you please sit down. You see…with the sun hitting you like that, your dress, kind of becomes transparent and like you saw that's a bit distracting for my boys."- My mouth dropped and I looked down at my legs and saw that he was right, my face burned as my blood rushed to it, giving me red tomato color. I quickly hid behind Angela, who started to laugh.
I looked up and saw that Edward was looking at me, is eyes filled with desire and not moving up from my legs, he swallowed loudly and I gave him a reproving look, and quickly took a seat with Angela walking in front of me.
Edward stood for a while and then took a seat next to me, he was smiling, and he came closer discreetly and whispered:
"I told so…"- I looked at him surprisingly and he had the most beautiful smile ever, I was going to tell him he was wrong, but seeing him smile like that made me forget what I was going to say. It was almost has he proud of being right.
"Looks like, your dress is making a few waves."- Angela said.
"Not, you too. I don't see what's all the fuss is about. I'm just wearing a dress, for God sake!"
"Well, yeah. But you look great in it. And we are not used to see you like that. You should definitely wear that king of clothe more often.
"Bah."- I said in desperation, I could hear Edward trying to hide his laughter.
"Why did you wear that?"-Angela asked.
"I have a job interview at four."-I used the same excuse as before.
"That's great."
"You'll never guess where…"- I teased Angela.
"Where, you have to tell me."
"At… AliRose's new store."- Angela's mouth dropped.
"No way! How did you manage that?"
"Well, it was an angel that helped."- I said smiling; knowing that Edward would know I was talking about him and he didn't disappointed me, and gave me a beautiful smile.
"What do you mean by that?"- I was rescued from an answer has Emmet approached us and said:
"Ok, I'm ready."
I asked Angela to choose the best place; I told her how I wanted it to look. Emmet was totally comfortable, but I could tell that Edward was making a great effort. Of course Emmet kept making fun of him and we all laughed. Sometimes Angela was laughing so hard that she wasn't capable of taking the shot.
"So, Bella, are you ready for this afternoon?"- Emmet asked, while Angela was showing some of the pictures to Edward.
"Yes, and no."
"You'll do fine. Rosalie and Alice already like you a lot, and if you are as intelligent as Edward says, I'm sure the job is yours."
"Edward talked about me?"- He winked at me and smiled.
"He'll tell you about it later."
"What do you mean but that?"
"Be patient, little Bella."-What was he talking about? Had Edward told him?-"Can I ask you a favor?"
"Of course, you can."- He gave a big smile.
"Are you going to the interview, directly from here?"
"Yes…"
"Great."-He looked like a little kid on Christmas morning.-"Could you please take something for Rose, it just a small gift so that she'll know I was thinking about her."- I was speechless; these Cullen boys were very romantic.
"I'll be happy to do it, that's very sweet."
"Do you think she'll like the idea?"
"I'm sure she will."
"What are you two whispering about?"- Edward asked jokingly, but I could see the uneasiness in his eyes, and so did Emmet.
"Relax, bro, I was just asking Bella for a favor."- Edward looked at him angrily and Emmet just laughed.-"So are we done?"
"Yes, I think we have what we need."-Angela said.
"Great. So I'll meet you in the parking lot in 15 minutes."-Emmet asked.
"Yes, that fine."- Angela and Edward just look at with as suspicious look, before we all headed back the paper's room. Edward didn't say a word and when we were about to enter the building he said goodbye and walked to the administration building. I stood at the door looking confused at him.
"Are you, ok?- Angela asked.
"Yes, let's go."
"The Cullen's are very nice, that Emmet is very funny."
"Yes, he is."
"They seem to like you a lot."- I froze.
"Why do you say that?"
"I don't know…it just felt like that. They are both very nice to me, but with you...is different…"- Oh. Boy…Had Angela noticed anything?
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"Then, why are you meeting Emmet in the parking lot?"
"Oh. That…You see…Emmet's fiancée works at AliRose, and he asked me to take her a gift, isn't that sweet? But you can't tell anyone, ok?"
"Ok. Was it him who helped you with the interview?"
"No, I sent an application, last week and got a call on Saturday."-So I was lying to my friends once more, but it was necessary.
I asked Angela if she was going to the Spring prom, and that was enough to have her forget about what we were talking about and she kept going on about what dress she was going to wear, and how Eric would look good in a suit, etc…
I gathered my things and took the camera's memory card with me, so that I could choose the pictures for my article. I was curious to see if the camera could fully take all of Edward beauty in a picture.
I walked to the parking lot and waited by my truck for Emmet, he showed up a little afterwards, and had the most shocked look in his face.
"That's what you drive?"- He said laughing.
"What's wrong with my truck?"-He just laughed harder.
"How old is that? I bet it is older than my dad."
"Could you stop laughing, please."-I said seriously.-"You know, not all of us can afford shining Volvos, or huge truck."- He immediately stopped.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come off as a snob or something, but you have to admit, that you have a very old, awful looking car."- He said in a serious tone.
"It has wheels and I it drives me where I need to go, so that's enough for me."- He got this weird look on his face.
"Does, Edward know, you drive that?"- He asked with grin on his face. Why would he ask me something like that?
"No, why would he know that?"- He opened his mouth to speak but, then close it and handed me a small wrapped box.
"Patience, little Bella."-Than he gave me one of those tight bear hugs, that nearly crushed my ribs.
"Emmet, you shouldn't do that here."- He automatically let me go and with a goofy smiled said.
"This will be complicated…hum...thank you."- He turned and walked away. I stood there for a moment not knowing what just happened before I got in my car and headed downtown for my interview.
Hoped you like this one...things are heating up...I'll be add the next chapert soon. Don't forget to review, it is great to know your opinion.