You're Falling – Chapter 6: On My Mind
A/N: I would like to start with this: I am very sorry for not updating for ages. Allow me to lay my excuses at your feet. First of all, between the 23rd and 27th I was on a study tour to Iceland, ergo accessing internet was impossible. I had absolutely zero mobile network in all of Iceland, including in Reykjavik, the capital city. Second of all, this is my secondary fic, so I usually write it after I've written a chapter of my primary fic, and I've been very tired recently so writing has been more difficult. Third, I was feeling a bit uninspired for this fic. It's got a very different mood to my other fics, not as upbeat and perky as TGTYEL or as morbidly depressed as 'Buried Alive', so it's harder to get into the right mind frame or mood. Oh, on the note of 'Buried Alive', there will definitely be a sequel! If you're a fan of that fic, then eventually (after Christmas, maybe) I will begin writing the sequel. If you're not, go check out 'Buried Alive' because it's epic. Shameless self promotion over, I am still very sorry so don't kill me (I'm a fucking awesome ninja, I'd like to see you try xD I jest, I jest…I'm just a bloody good martial artist – learning to use throwing weapons :D:D:D). Anyway, song of the chapter is 'The Good Life' by Three Days Grace, one of the epic-est bands I know. Although this may not be the most applicable song ever, I'm a little stuck xD
This is thinking/dreaming.
This is regular story.
This is author's note.
This is title
Warnings: Not really anything. As per usual, no delicious hardcore yaoi for a while because I don't write random porn, although I probably could. Not that I want to…hehe. No, instead of writing random porn, I write specific porn. Specifically yaoi porn. Actually, I write erotica. Yeah, erotica…Generic warnings for swearing and British language spellings, so don't point that out. Not like anyone usually does, but I just thought I'd throw it out there…Oh, and Hidan warning. I think he gets his own special brand of warning, just for being Hidan.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the sexy, sexy guys from Naruto. If I did…well, although slavery is illegal in the twenty-first century, I think I'd have to make them slaves so they'd do exactly what I want…unless they complied with my wishes of their own free will and made out with each other on request…and other things. Hehe. No, you pervert, I was referring to having them paint my kitchen! What did you think I meant? Shock horror!
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I don't really know who I am
It's time for me to take a stand
I need a change and I need it fast
I know that any day could be the last
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"So," I started. I was bored. Incredibly, mind-numbingly, soul-destroying-ly bored. It had been four hours since I arrived, but for an elite criminal organisation, Akatsuki was awfully dull. Naturally, as my partner, it was Sasori's job to entertain me. "Tell me something interesting, un,"
"If one places a small amount of alcohol on a scorpion, it will immediately go mad and sting itself to death," Sasori said, his voice peppered with irritation. He didn't look up from his desk, his fingers still flowing over the severed arm. He had been working on that one limb for hours, and it was actually starting to smell. I had considered asking him nicely to put it away and resume work on it when I wasn't around, but I didn't get the impression that it was likely. If it wasn't apparently so important, the arm would probably end up thrown at me.
"Not really the kind of thing I was going for, un. Tell me something about yourself, Danna," Anything other than random factoids about bugs. People were much more interesting than bugs, and Sasori was certainly intriguing.
"Only if you start, brat,"
"Fine, un. My name is Deidara, I am sixteen years old, and I have blond hair. And you?" I said. I started small in the hopes he would spill it all without much contribution from me. I didn't really want to talk about myself; I wasn't particularly comfortable with it.
"If you're expecting my life story based on that series of incredibly useless and painfully obvious facts, you're going to have to try harder," He replied. One corner of his mouth rose slightly, seeing through my lame attempts to pull information with as little effort as possible.
"I was born in Iwagakure," I offered.
"I was born in Sunagakure,"
"I was a part of the Explosion Corps before I left," I rolled over onto my back on the bed, tilting my head back to look at him. He didn't even look up as he answered, still working on the arm with light, deft movements. It was actually rather mesmerising.
"I was a part of the Puppet Brigade," No surprises there, then.
"I hate mixed rice," I changed the subject, hoping to draw out something non-ninja related. Non-ninja related was probably more personal, and that was what I was aiming for.
"I don't eat," He replied blankly.
"Why?" This time, he actually did turn around, momentarily stopping his work to raise a delicate eyebrow at me.
"I thought we had already established this, brat, or are you just dim?" He asked, talking to me like I was a complete idiot. I didn't get it; why wouldn't he eat? Normal people ate food, and normal people liked different kinds of food. It was a very reasonable question. Had I missed something?
"I'm not dim, Danna, un! Who the hell uses the word 'dim' anyway? I swear no one under the age of fifty uses that word, un!" I retorted.
"I'm not quite fifty but I'm certainly older than you,"
"But Danna, you look about twelve!" I looked him up and down. I knew he was slightly shorter than me, which made him short for a guy, and he didn't exactly have the world's most masculine features. His nose and eyes were distinctly feminine, well-crafted and soft, but not exactly youthful. I couldn't imagine his eyes being youthful. Admittedly, the drowsy look made him seem older, but everything else was very young.
"I'm thirty two," Sasori said shortly.
"What the hell! But you look younger than me, un!" I exclaimed, rolling over onto my front, just catching myself before I rolled off the bed. My feet waggled in the air excitedly, my eyes widening with disbelief.
"I don't, brat. You should consider getting your eyes checked," He turned back to his work, picking up a small silver scalpel with delicate fingers and whittling away at the decaying arm. I resisted the temptation to blow the thing up, but being sprayed with rotting flesh didn't seem entirely appealing. The blast might also damage Sasori, which might be a bad move in the long run.
"My eyes are fine, un!" I defended. I had perfect vision in both eyes; any less would prevent me from seeing the full wonder of my art. The afterglow of an explosion burning into my vision was one of the best parts, right after the colour and the sound and the blast.
"Your ridiculous hair covers a whole side of your face, yet you use ranged attacks. If my information is correct, it conceals an adjustable scope. I suggest you set it to a more normal range; I do not look younger than you," I picked up a strand of blond, twiddling it between my fingers. It wasn't ridiculous, was it? I liked my hair, it was unique and unusual. And it was a good cover for my scope, too, which made it practical. Yes, it required a lot of upkeep, and yes, it got very tangled when it was windy, but it was still nice and I still liked it. I pouted a little; it was not ridiculous.
"Anyway, how can you look like that and be thirty two, un? Thirty two is ancient!" I refrained from commenting about my hair, instead pointing out the obvious flaw in his claim. There was no way he could be thirty two. Thirty two year olds were taller, and had the beginnings of wrinkles. They weren't short, red headed and cute.
"You're barely out of the cradle yourself, brat," A small chunk of flesh came flying my way. I dodged it, grimacing as I picked it off the wall above my bed. So that was how the blood stains got there.
"I'm perfectly mature, un!" I raised my palms either side of my head, sticking all three tongues out at him. Take that!
"My point proven,"
"You're so mean to me, Danna! I'm just trying to have a normal conversation with you, un! Is that really so bad?" I pouted, rolling over again. My hair got caught under my shoulder rather painfully. Maybe I should consider tying it back.
"I'm trying to work over here, and I don't have a lot of time until the majority of this corpse becomes completely unworkable. So shut your mouth and let me work in peace," He snapped, fingers moving a little more briskly with irritation.
"But Danna-" I wailed, interrupted as the door banged open loudly. Sasori visibly winced as the plaster of the wall cracked a little around where the handle had hit it.
"Whoa, a fuckin' lover's spat already?" Hidan appeared in the doorway, hands on his hips, grinning at us with a knowing look in his eyes. Kakuzu was close behind him, a restraining hand on his shoulder.
"Oh, god," Sasori muttered, setting down the scalpel. His fingers twitched again, like he was actively resisting the temptation to plant the scalpel directly between Hidan's eyes.
"Yeah, praise Jashin, you motherfuckers! But seriously, you bitches haven't known each other for what, half a fucking day and you're already acting like you're married. Learn to get the fuck along with each other, okay?" Hidan's smile drooped a little, and Kakuzu's hand gripped his shoulder tighter, holding him back. The room was small enough with just Sasori and me in it.
"If we do, will you stop shouting and go away?" One finger crept along the handle of the scalpel, caressing the cold blade. My eyes were fixed to that digit, the finger pale against the shiny metal. It made me think of something, but I couldn't remember what exactly.
"Not a fucking chance!" Hidan yelled, smile picking up again. One of his hands lifted to cover Kakuzu's.
"Then why are you here?"
"Uh-"
"Leader-sama wants to see the both of you, now. I wouldn't keep him waiting," Kakuzu interrupted, actively pulling back on Hidan's shoulder, trying to remove him from the room. I smiled appreciatively; I was getting a headache already.
"We should go then, Sasori no Danna," I said brightly, hopping up from the bed. Kakuzu failed in suppressing a snort. "What?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"You know that means 'husband', right?"
"What?" I replied, my voice completely flat. I meant 'Danna' as in 'master', not 'husband'! That was just-just-obscene! And completely unrealistic! For one, two men weren't allowed to get married in any of the nations, and it was actually very frowned upon to even be in that kind of relationship. Sasori was kind of good looking, yes, but I wouldn't marry him. He was thirty two, and I was sixteen! And he clearly had no interest in me, anyway.
"Hah, I fuckin' told you!" Hidan crowed, smirking at Kakuzu who gripped his shoulder painfully tightly in warning.
"Told him what?" I asked, somewhat worried.
"That you two are desperate to screw each other's brains out, that's what!" He grinned widely, announcing his theory to the whole base. I physically flinched; that was completely unfounded and completely untrue! I wasn't even sure I was going to survive the next few days, if the experiences of the last four of Sasori's partners were anything to go by, although I hoped I would.
"Don't be crude, Hidan," Sasori chided, giving me a sideways look that said everything. Even if I did want to do anything, which I didn't, I wouldn't have a hope in hell. Still, the feeling was mutual. I shot the same look back, to which Sasori raised an eyebrow.
"Don't bother, that's his default setting," Kakuzu pointed out, jerking Hidan out of the way of the door so we could leave the room.
It was time to meet Leader-sama.
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A/N: So there you have it, more stuff happened! This was mostly a transitional chapter, so I can get the next part set up. It's kind of plot-necessary, so it had to happen. It also gave us a couple of cute/funny SasoDei moments, and an incredibly insightful (dare I suggest, possible yaoi fanboy?) Hidan and the much put-upon Kakuzu. More soon! Review! If you don't, I'm going to sacrifice you to Jashin!