Hello, I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Thank you so much for all your reviews, you awesome!

Here is the next chapter, hope you like it...

BPOV

I was sitting on the bathroom floor next to the toilet after losing all of my stomach's content; I was watching my tears hit the shiny tile. As I watched the little drops, my mind was filled with images of the latest events of my life that lead me here.

How can you go from heaven to hell in second? How can someone's life change so much in so little time?

This night had begun in the most strange way, with me telling my mom about the man I loved, and to my surprise, not only did she already knew about it, but was also happy that I finally had found love.

We came to Edward's house to surprise the men we love, and found them covered in paint, just like little kids. The most funny thing was watching them dance and strip to their boxers in Edward's garden, even Carlisle. He moved his body and shook his hips, just like the others did.

Seeing Edward in his boxers and moving like that, made me go insane, he had the most amazing body. As I watched him, I realized I wanted, tonight. I was not going to wait anymore; I needed him to make love to me, to make me his forever.

So my mind came up with a plan, I Isabella Swan was going to seduce Edward Cullen. Yes you heard right, I was going to seduce him, I didn't know exactly how, but I was going to do it.

That was how this all began, with that stupid decision. How could I have been so selfish? I had seen his conflict, but I totally ignore it. And now everything changed.

In the moment we were about to finally reach our own personal heaven, there was a knock on the door.

"Edward? I know you are in there, dad is looking for you."- Alice said from behind the door.

"Go away, Alice."- Edward whined.

"Hurry up or get the hell out of there, they are on their way up."- Emmet said.

Edward moved, lay on his back and covered his face with his hands, letting out a heavy sigh.

"You should get dressed."- He said in a serious voice, not even looking at me.I got up and put my clothes on.

"Aren't you coming?"

"You go ahead…I'll be right out."

I left his room and he didn't move, he stayed in the same position, he didn't smile, and he didn't even look at me.

I joined the others at the game room, just a little before Carlisle, Esme, Phil and my mom, joined us. Edward was the last one in; he came close to me and held my hand.

"Well, first of all I want to apologize to the ladies from not being ourselves when you got here."- Carlisle said and we laughed, all except for Edward.-"Al though I have I feeling you all enjoyed the little show after."- He said grinning.

"You sure know how to move those hips, Carlisle."- Rosalie said.

"He has a lot of hidden talents."- Esme said smiling at him and he whispered something in her ear that made her blush.

"Anyway…I just wanted to say thank you to Renée for being understanding and for not judging Edward for his feelings towards Bella. We know it is a difficult and complicated situation, but I'm sure that with our support thing can go well."- Carlisle kept talking but couldn't hear him anymore, because I looked up to Edward's face and that was when I first saw it. The distance, the absence… and my heart stopped, in that moment I knew that something had changed.

The confirmation came later when everyone was ready to leave.

"Maybe it would be better if you stayed at Alice."- Edward said.

"Why?"

"I think is the right thing to do, I don't want your mother to get a bad impression."

"Ok, if that is what you want…"- He smiled but that smile didn't reach his eyes and kissed my forehead. Something was definitely wrong, but instead of talking to him about it, I left just like a coward. My mom decided she would go with Phil and encouraged me to stay at Alice's for the night.

I waited all night for him to call or text me, but nothing happened…I turned and turned in bed but I couldn't sleep. I got my phone about a hundred times to call him, but I was too afraid. So I began to search my mind looking for what could have possibly made him act like that? But I couldn't find anything…I started to panic and cry, my stomach turned and I had to run to the bathroom and vomit… I cried all night on the bathroom floor, I was still crying when I heard the bedroom door being opened, and I felt I hint of hope, but then I heard Alice humming a song.

"Good morning."- Alice said coming into the bathroom and grimaced when she saw my face.-"You look awful. Where's Edward?"

"Oh…he didn't come here."

"Really? Humm… is that why you look like that?"

"Something is wrong, Alice. I don't know what it is, but something is different."

"What do you mean?"

"He was acting different, I can't really explain it. It was like he wasn't there, there was this distant and absence in his eyes. He didn't even call me last night. I must have done something, but I don't know what I did."

"When did you notice this?"

"I saw it for the first time when we were all in the game room, when your father was talking."

"Hum…this was after you were in his room? What happened there?

"Nothing…I mean…we were very close, but then you knocked."

"I see…did he start it?"

"Uh?"

"Was he the one that took the initiative?"

"No…I mean, I started it, but he didn't stop me, he…"- There was something in Alice face that made me stop.

"So, you took him to his room, with all of the family there, knowing he wants to wait?"

"But…He…he didn't stop…"

"He is a man, Bella, what did you expect? He missed you all week…is body just took over…"

That was when I realized what I had done, I had seen the conflict in his eyes, I knew he wanted to wait, but I had to be selfish and do things my way…my God…I acted just like Jane, I used his physical needs to get what I wanted. I didn't stop to remember what he wanted, to remember the right thing to do. I didn't give him a chance… Because I had become the thing I most despised. Jane…

"What do I do now?"- I asked Alice.

"From what you told me, he is probably just having mind overload, he does that sometimes, he just needs to get his thoughts in order. Just give him some time…he does that since he was a child, I remember when my parents decided that it was best for him to was to attend that special school. He was in his room for two days, just writing and thinking or whatever he does."

"So what you're saying is, I should just wait? I can't do anything?"

"Bella, I think you are overreacting. Relax, he loves you, he will be here later."

I waited, and waited and nothing. It was getting dark, Alice and Jasper were at the garden, kissing and smiling, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed to get out of there; I got my things, went downstairs, and left a note for Alice saying I was going home.

Once I was inside my car, the tears started to fall down my cheeks again, I had to see him, I couldn't just wait. So I drove to his house and rang the bell repeatedly, until my finger got numb from pushing the button, and nothing. He didn't want to see me. But could I really blame him?

He had told me about how he felt with Jane, and how sickening it was to lose control, and I did the same to him.

I got on my car and drove home, when I got there Jacob was sitting on my porch, I wiped the tears and walked out of the car trying to look like my life hadn't crumbled into pieces.

EPOV

Reality had finally caught up with me, deep down I knew it was only a matter of time, but who in their right mind would be with a freak like me?

Last night my mind went on overload again, I hadn't had one of these in quite some time. I was so afraid that Bella saw me like that and realized how weird I was. That's why I thought it was better for her to leave, but as she left, I saw it in her eyes, she saw that I was different, maybe deep down I was hoping for Bella to insisted on staying, because when I was with Bella, it was all about her, my thoughts were totally on her, I didn't get distracted with anything else. But on the other hand, I didn't want her to see me like this, when I got these mind overloads, I kind of separated myself from the rest of the world, it was just me and immense quantity of non stopping thoughts, that I couldn't control.

So I spent hours writing or just thinking, I couldn't really explain it to other people, the only visual idea I could relate to this was when you're doing a check disk on a computer and see all the information filling the screen at great speed, that's how my mind worked, and all I could see was that information. I remember when I was younger that I would stay in my room for days, my mom would go in leave food and get out, no one ever talked to me, because they knew I would have answered back.

I wondered how Bella would react if she saw me like that, she probably would freak out and call an ambulance or something.

I didn't know exactly what caused this, the doctors said that a stressful or nervous situation or something like that could cause it, that it was like a defense mechanism, my mind shut me out from the rest of the world.

I thought back to what could have possibly caused it and the only situation that could remotely come close was when I almost took advantage of Bella last night. She had taken me to my room and did this seduction thing; it was amazing how at one minute she could blush at little things and the next she was pushing me against my mattress. It was really hot, so hot that even though my conscious sounded in alert, I couldn't stop touching her.

It was nothing like what Jane did to me, because I never really loved Jane and I knew she was using me, I knew I meant nothing to her. But with Bella was different, I loved to see how she reacted to me, how intense we could get. But when Alice knocked on my door, I realized what I was doing and I felt ashamed, so ashamed that I couldn't even look at Bella. I just lay there wanting to punch myself for being so inconsiderate. I mean…I was about to make love to her for the first time, her first time ever…with our family walking around the house. I hated myself for doing that, I was so selfish.

After that…my mind overloaded. I spend the whole night writing stuff, it didn't stop, for anything, when it finally slow down I was exhausted, I didn't even call Bella. God, I was such a freak.

I went to bed around seven in the morning and crashed…I woke up around five thirty in the afternoon, my body felt sore from yesterday's game and for being in bed for so long, so I decided to go for a run and put my muscle to work.

I got back, took a shower, ate something and went to meet Bella, I had some serious apologizing to do, but when I got there she had gone home leaving a note for Alice.

"Alice, did she tell you anything? Did you talk to her?"

"Just a little this morning, I found her crying on the bathroom floor."

"She was crying?"- Damn, it was worse than I thought; I had scared her away.-"Why did you call me."

"Well, from what she said it sounded to me like you were having one of those mind overloads, so I told her to give you time and relax."- She knew about it, and left…I knew it…

"Did she say anything else?"

"Oh…I don't know…I think she said something about feeling bad about what happened in your bedroom."- Stupid, shellfish freak…I had taken advantage of her and she felt bad about it. She must hate me right now.

I took off; Alice was still talking but I didn't care and was now driving to Bella's house, I had a lot of explaining to do. Would she forgive me? Would all this go away? I couldn't imagine what I would do if she didn't forgive.

Instead of parking a few blocks away like I usually did, I drove directly to her house, I was about to park in front of it when the image I saw made me stop. Bella was sitting on Jacob's lap, her arms around him, her eyes closed, he leaned to kiss her and she smiled and her hands went to his neck, just like she did when she kissed me.

I was feeling a mix of emotions…I was angry and wanted to get out of the car and take her from his arms and tell him she was mine, not his, I wanted to punch his lips so that he would be kissing anyone else. But I was also hurting…my heart was bleeding…I was too late. She had finally realized that I was not good for her. And there she was kissing him of the front porch of her house. She didn't have to hide with him, it was killing me but I had to admit he was the best choice for her…he probably even knew her better than I did, he was an easier relationship…I understood…she didn't want me anymore…it was over.

I couldn't stand to continuing watching them and all of my dreams, all of my life disappear in that kiss, so I drove off and I continued to drive. I got on the highway ready to disappear, but my mom's face came to my mind. I couldn't do that to her again, so I went home.

BPOV

I felt his lips close to mine and smiled, he was back…he had forgiven me. I took my hands to his beautiful hair, then froze everything was wrong…the touch of his lips was different and the hair was shorter, I opened my eyes and saw Jacob and pushed him away.

"Jacob? How could you?"- He smiled just smile and I got up.

"Oh, come on…you kissed me back."

"I…I…thought you were…"- I stopped my eyes were filled with tears again. It had been a dream, he didn't come looking for me, he hated me, and he didn't want me.

"Go on…you thought I was? Who did you think I was, Bella?"- He said furious.-"Tell me."

"I have nothing to tell you…"- I got my keys and went to the door.

"Nice…you come back home, cry on my shoulder for almost an hour, fall asleep, and then you ask me to kiss you, I do, you kiss me back and now you are reacting like this?"

"I was sleeping you moron…I was dreaming about…"- I stopped again. His eyes were filled with anger, his arms were shaking, his hands into fists. I had never seen him like that before.

"Who is he, Bella? At least tell me that…I know there's someone."

"Just leave me alone."- I opened the door but he grabbed my arm before I could close it.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing anything to you, Jacob. You're doing it to yourself. I've told you before I only want you has a friend, why do you keep pushing? Leave me alone!"- I shouted.

"Because I keep hoping you are going to wake up and she how much I love you."

"What difference does it make I don't love you, I lov…"- I was too tired for this.

"Go ahead say it; you love somebody else, don't you?"- I was losing my patience, I just wanted to get to my room and die…

"So what if I do? Jacob is none of your business, so just leave me alone."

"He doesn't deserve you…he'll never love you like I do."- I froze.

"You don't know what you're saying, Jacob."

"Oh…but I do. Do you really think and older guy like him could fall for someone like you? He is only probably just looking for a good time, Bella. Wake up!"- I was panicking by now…did he know? I didn't have the strength for this right now, I felt like my body was going to shut down.

"I don't know what you think you know, but you're wrong."

"Wrong? You really think he loves you?"- My tears came back, I felt them streaming down my cheeks, I didn't care anymore.

"It doesn't matter anymore…Jacob, leave me alone."- I tried to close the door, but he didn't let me.

"It doesn't matter? Is that why, you're crying? What did Emmet do? Did he hurt you?"- Uh? Emmet? He thought I loved Emmet?

"Uh?"

"Emmet did he hurt you? I know it's him, I've see all the presents and hugs and smiles. Are you insane?"- I started laughing, not because it was funny but out of relief or tiredness.

"Jacob, Emmet has a fiancée, a gorgeous fiancée. You are just friends; actually I don't think we're even that."

"So I'm wrong?"

"Yes!"- I shouted.-"There's nothing going on between Emmet and I, there never was."

"But there was someone. I know, I saw all the signs. Who is it?"- I was desperate to be alone; my mind was too tired, I was afraid I might say more than I should.

"Yes, Jacob, there was someone, I was, am and will always in love someone, I love him more than my life… but it doesn't matter, because I did something really stupid and he doesn't want me anymore. Happy now?"- He just looked at me, his mouth open in surprise, so I close the door in his face.

I went to my room and cried until I fell asleep, I had that same dream but Jane's face was replaced by mine, and I was the one that pushed away until he disappeared.

I had a hole in my chest, I could even breathe, I just stayed in bed, I didn't get up, I didn't eat, I didn't move.

"Bella, are you ok?"- My mom asked.

"I'm not feeling too well, I just need to rest."- My mom put her hand on my forehead.

"Do you want me to call the doctor?"

"No, I'll be fine."

I stayed in bed… the of Saturday went by…Sunday went by…Monday went by…Tuesday went by…I didn't move, nothing stayed in stomach for a long time, when I finally slept, I woke up in the middle of the night screaming and my mom would come to me and she just held me. By Sunday night she call the doctor and he couldn't find anything wrong with me, medicine could not cure my problem, there was only one remedy, and he didn't want me anymore. I could hear my mother talk on the phone sometimes, but she didn't force me to talk to her.

Jacob stopped by, so did Alice and Rosalie, but I told my mom I didn't want to see anybody but that didn't stop Alice.

"Bella, what are you doing? What the hell happened?"- I didn't say anything.-"This is ridiculous, you don't say anything, neither does Edward…we are all worried."- At the sound of his name, I started to cry.-"Bella, please just tell me what happened."- But I couldn't, I just couldn't face the fact that I had lost him.

By Wednesday morning my mom could take it anymore.

"That's it Bella, I can't take this anymore. I tried to be patient; I tried talking to you…and nothing… what happened to you? The doctor said there's nothing wrong with you so get out of bed now!"- She shouted, but I didn't move. She dragged me out of bed, force me to take a shower, force me to put my clothes on, forced breakfast down my mouth and drove me to school.-"Get out of the car."

"No, don't do this to me…please mom."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened but enough is enough. I'll pick you up after school and don't you dare to leave or miss any class. I'll send you to your father, I swear I will."

"No, mom please…"

"Just go, Bella."- I could see the tears in her eyes, I was putting my mom to hell, and once again I was being selfish.

I got out of the car and walked to the main building, I forced myself not to look to see if Edward's car was there, I just kept walking. I could feel everyone eyes on me, but I did care. I just went from class to class without talking to anyone.

I set at a different table, by myself, I didn't even bothered to get any food, and it wouldn't stay in my stomach anyway so why bother. I hadn't see Edward yet, and I was afraid to. I had no idea how I would react, it would kill me, I knew it would.

"Bella, I'm really…happy to see you here."- Jacob said standing in front of my table.-"What's going on Bella, talk to me, please."

"Leave me alone, Jacob."- I said harshly.-"You should be happy, now there's no competition for you…why aren't you happy, uh? Is this what you wanted?"- I got up and left, went to the bathroom to wait for my next class, English class.

I know that this was not what you expected...but some of you had asked for a little drama, so here it is...Ok, so i know that they both overreacted...there's no such thing as a perfect relationship, but be patient because true love never dies. Let me know what you thought about this turn of events. I'll try to post the next chapter tomorrow, I'm already working on it...but no promisses...don't forget to review...