Kate Beckett digs her toes into the sand and looks out into the ocean. The sun is starting to set, it's sixty-seven degrees, and she's in paradise. Well, except for the confused angry thoughts bouncing around inside her skull. Twenty-four hours ago she was in Manhattan, angry, depressed and watching sleet hit her living room window. Now she's standing on a beach, still angry and depressed, but at least the weather is better. After her fight with Castle, she placed an emergency call to Madison, her friend since forever, and was invited out to South Carolina to stay with Madison and her husband at their condo on the Isle of Palms.

"Well, Becks, it's not really bathing suit weather, but it's sunny and the view is to die for," Maddie told her over the phone.

So here she is, a world away from Castle and just as miserable. She doesn't know what to do. Castle's admission that he has information she doesn't and has been working on her mother's case without her feels like betrayal. But hidden behind her outrage and feelings of betrayal is exhaustion. She is getting tired of it, the hunt for the mysterious man, the web of conspiracies, having to be on high alert because she knows eventually someone will kill her if she asks too many questions. Then again, how can she simply let it go? She chose her career based on her desperate need to solve her mother's case. She's shaped her whole life around it. If she gives this up, what does she have to show for her efforts? Several dead men, two scars and the loss of her mentor and good friend. How can she stop before she finds the truth? Doesn't she want justice? What will her life be like if she isn't searching for these answers?

"Hey, Becks." Kate brushes the tears from her cheeks and turns around. Madison is plodding through the sand towards her. "Hey, dinner's about ready if you want to come in…are you crying?"

Kate laughs. "Me? Never." Madison peers closely at her face, pushing her blond hair out of her eyes. "Becks, I don't know what's going on with you, but I do know it's serious enough for you to spend a fortune on a plane ticket down here. Evan knows we need some girl time so he's going to disappear into the study after dinner and let us talk."

"C'mon." Madison puts an arm around Kate's shoulders and hugs her. "I know you're not a foodie, but you are going to love what I've made for dinner. Plus I've got some great wine. So let's eat, get slightly buzzed, and fix whatever ails you."

"Really? Dinner will fix what ails me?" Kate is amused.

"You'd be amazed at what a fine risotto can do for you."

Kate watches Madison and Evan clean up the dinner plates with some bemusement. They work well together, joking with each other, exchanging affectionate looks and Kate can't believe this is the same friend who was so gung-ho about her restaurant business. Not long after Kate had to almost arrest her for the murder of her star chef Balthazar Wolf, Madison met Evan at some foodie extravaganza, married him and now they have a six month old daughter and a condo in South Carolina. Kate's amazed at how much she's changed.

Dinner dishes cleared away, Evan builds a fire in the fireplace, brings out a bottle of wine and two glasses, smiles at them, and leaves.

"I'm jealous," Kate says. "Evan's wonderful."

"He is, isn't he?" Madison smiles. "But you didn't come here to hear about my marital bliss. What's up with you, Becks? Why aren't you having your own marital bliss?"

Kate rolls her eyes. "I'm so far away from marital bliss it isn't funny."

"Why? What's going on with you? You've had more than your share of men in your life…what about the heart surgeon?"

"Um…that didn't work out." Kate takes a quick sip of her wine.

"Let me guess…a certain writer is still hanging around?" As usual, Madison gets right to the point.

"Yes, a certain writer is still hanging around. He's sorta why I'm having this crisis." Kate laughs a little bitterly and refills her glass. "In fact, he's exactly why I'm here. I should bill him for my plane ticket."

"I'm intrigued. Tell me everything."

Kate leans back into the couch, takes a deep breath, and begins. She tells Maddie about her mother's investigation, all of it, not just the few details she'd given her in the past. She tells her about Raglan and McCallister and the death of Roy Montgomery. More hesitantly, she tells her about Castle, how he put himself in the path of a bullet to try to save her, how he confessed his love for her and how she lied about remembering it and lastly about her fight with him. When she finally finishes, she reaches for the bottle again, surprised to find it half gone and her head buzzing.

Madison remains quiet the entire time her friend talks, giving Kate her complete attention. When Kate's voice falters and stops, she sighs and takes the bottle from Kate and refills her glass.

"So, just to make sure I got this right, I'm going to recap. One," Madison ticks off the points on her fingers, "there's a conspiracy of some sort surrounding your mother's death. Two, if you continue to poke around, you'll be killed. Three, Rick told you he loves you, tried to take a bullet for you, and is continuing to protect you by working on the investigation himself. Four, you're lying to him about what you remember, and on top of that told him that you can't be with him until you solve your mother's death. Finally, you're pissed at him because of item number three."

Kate nods. "Yeah, more or less."

"You know I love you, right?" Kate nods, slightly embarrassed. She doesn't usually acknowledge her deepest feelings to her friends.

"Okay, just so you know I say this with love and concern." Madison puts down her glass and takes Kate's hand in hers. "Becks, you are a complete and total moron."

"What? Maddie, really, I don't need to be insulted." Kate's pissed and starts to get off the couch. Madison grabs her arm.

"Kate, sit down. You flew all the way here for my advice and I'm going to give it to you. If you don't like it, fine, but you need to listen." Kate sits down stiffly, determined not to like anything her friend has to say.

"You know, when we ran into each other a few years ago because of Wolf's murder, I was so happy to see you. And I had a feeling—no matter what you said—that you and Rick had something going on. Maybe neither of you saw it, but I knew it and I was happy for you. Ever since your mother's death you'd put up a wall around yourself and didn't let anyone in. But I could see that Rick was different, that you were letting him, even if just a little. And despite the mountains of bullshit he's had to climb to be with you, he's still around. That's amazing. Now you tell me that he loves you, and—even though you haven't said it—I'm sure you must love him too otherwise you would have kicked him to the curb long ago. So what do you do?" Madison's voice is louder. She's just as pissed at Kate as Kate is at her. Despite her anger, Kate is listening and annoyed that she's making sense.

"You tell this lovely, caring, patient man (not to mention sexy, funny, intelligent and rich) you aren't ready yet. You need to solve your mother's murder first. What the hell, Kate. Have you lost your mind?" Maddie's tone provokes Kate into breaking her silence.

"Hey! We did have a date planned." Kate is on the defensive but she can't figure out why because her head is heavy and thick from too much wine.

"Well, aren't you so damned gracious? Throwing the guy a bone: okay, we can date, but I can't promise anything because I pretty much stopped living my life when my mother died." Maddie pauses. "Kate, you need to get over it."

Kate gasps, outraged. "Get over it? My mother was murdered. I was shot. Roy was killed. It's not a simple matter of getting over it."

"Why isn't it? Bad things happen, Kate. To everyone at some point. But you've used this one very bad thing to hide behind, to use as a shield to protect you from life, from pursuing what you want, from love. You need to move on. Was your mother's murder terrible? Yes, it was. But look what's come of your poking around. Lots of dead people. Almost your death. And what about Rick? He's investigating this because he loves you—he wants justice for you. What if these people kill him? How will you feel?"

Kate is silent. She knows how she will feel.

"Look, Becks." Madison leans over and smooths Kate's hair from her face. "You are so set on this course you're blind to the consequences. You could be murdered. Rick could be murdered. And what about Roy? You want to protect his family and his reputation by hiding his involvement. Don't you think that will come out if you find this man, your mysterious 'dragon'?"

"I…we never thought about that," Kate confesses. "I'm surprised Castle didn't see that."

"Becks, honey, he's not exactly impartial. He may think he's more detached, but he's not. He loves you and that makes him just as involved as you."

Kate is silent, thinking about what Madison said when a shriek erupts from the cradle at the end of the couch.

"Oops, someone's hungry." Maddie picks up Sophia and disappears into the kitchen. Kate stirs the fire with the poker, exhausted. The wine buzz is gone, leaving her with a headache. She wanted an ally, someone to back her up, and instead Madison kicked her in the ass with clear-headed logic.

Madison returns to the couch with a warm bottle. "Sorry. I fed her right after dinner, but I've learned it's best to not argue with hungry babies."

"No, that's okay…can I feed her?" Kate hasn't held a baby in a long time and Sophia, despite her hungry squawking, is red-cheeked and cute and Kate is suddenly overwhelmed with the need to hold her. Oh my god, she thinks. It's finally happened. The I-want-a-baby phase.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I want to get to know your little Sophia."

"Okaaaay..." Madison drapes a towel over Kate's shoulder and hands over her daughter. There's a moment of awkwardness as Kate shifts her arms and hands to conform to the baby, but finally the bottle is at the right angle and she's cupping Sophia's fuzzy head and looking down in surprise as the baby drinks greedily, not all concerned with being held by a neophyte.

"Wow." Kate smells the baby's soft hair and is a little shaken by a feeling of longing that comes over her. "I forgot how nice babies are."

"Well, they aren't so nice at three in the morning when they're screaming and all you want to do is sleep. But otherwise…" Madison smiles at her friend. "I was right, wasn't I? You do want to make little Castle babies."

Kate shoots her friend a look. "I refuse to admit to that. Although…" she hesitates, looking down at the baby resting comfortably in her arms. "I am curious as to what a mini-Richard Castle would be like. Probably lots of trouble."

"And just as charming and adorable as his dad."

"Well, that's inevitable."

"You know, Kate, it's not as if Evan and Sophia miraculously landed in my lap. I had to decide on the direction of my life. I love the restaurant business, but when I met Evan, my priorities changed. So I did what a lot of career women do—I hired an excellent manager and split my time between my family and Q3. That's a decision you have to make too."

"Split my time between investigating my mother's death and being a good wife and mother?" Kate laughs at the idea.

"No, you have to decide whether to keep looking for the man who is responsible for your mother's death—and deal with the consequences of that—or have a life which may include being a wife and mother."

"Weeelll, I think we're putting the cart before the horse. Counting the eggs before they've hatched. Pick your metaphor."

"Maybe. But you'll never have a family—with Rick or anyone else—unless you let go of the past. Seriously, Kate, how long do you think Rick will wait for you? Another year? Two? You don't want to look around one day and discover he's gone. I mean, you killed the man who murdered your mother. Can't that be enough?"

Kate looks down at the baby in her arms. "I don't know. It wasn't before, but maybe now it is."

Two days later Kate is packing her overnight bag when her phone rings. She looks at the display. Uh, oh. Dad. She didn't call him before she left town. She taps the "answer" icon.

"Uh, hi, Dad."

"Katie, where the hell are you? I call your apartment, no one answers. I call your cell, I get your voice mail. I call the precinct and all they can tell me is that you're still on injury leave. Finally I call Rick and he tells me that you stormed out of his loft four days ago and he hasn't heard from you since." His voice is strained with worry and anger.

"I know, I'm sorry, my battery was dead and I didn't notice until last night and I just finally charged it and I know I should have called—"

"Katie, you can't drop out of sight like this. Considering the circumstances. You have to let someone know where you are."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I had to get away for a few days. Clear my head."

"Because you and Rick fought?"

"Because of a lot of things." She folds a pair of jeans and puts them in the bag. "I'm in South Carolina, visiting my friend Maddie. Remember her? She's married now and has a baby."

"Uh huh."

"Look, my flight leaves in a few hours. I'll be home tonight. Come over, we'll talk about what a bad daughter I am."

Her father makes a sound that may have been a laugh. "No, you'll be tired. Just please call me when you get in, okay?"

"Okay. I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Katie. I have to. You're a pain in the ass, but you're my pain in the ass."

"Yes, I'll add that to the list of compliments I've received this weekend. Pain the ass and moron."

"Well, if you don't call Rick and tell him you're safe, add cruel and insensitive to that list."

"I'll call him as soon as you hang up." When she finishes speaking, he hangs up. Kate smiles. Good ole Dad. He's never been one to interfere with her relationships, but he'd have her married off to Castle by now if he could manage it.

Castle. She takes a deep breath, knowing this call is going to be one of the most difficult calls she's ever placed. She's rehearsed the speech in her head about a million times, but she knows that when he answers the phone she'll probably lose all courage…which is why she wrote out talking points and is staring at the paper right now. Okay, it's now or never, she tells herself. Ringing…ringing…ringing.

"Hey, it's Rick Castle. Say what ya gotta say."

Crap! Voice mail. Kate panics and hangs up. He always answers his phone. She hates leaving messages, especially emotional "I'm sorry I was such a bitch" apology messages. Maybe he didn't get to the phone in time? She dials again and again gets his voice mail. She decides to leave a message.

"Uh, hi. I never get your voice mail. I mean, you always pick up so I don't know if you are avoiding me—which, you know, I can understand—or maybe you can't find your phone or maybe the battery is dead. Who knows. Oh, um, this is Kate. But you probably know that. Or maybe you don't. I guess I shouldn't assume that you would…okay, um, I wanted to say, first, I'm okay. I went to visit a friend in South Carolina. I'm flying back tonight. Second…I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. You were right and I was wrong. Well, mostly you were right. I mean, you still should have told me about this man calling you, but…I'm totally screwing up this apology. I have it written down—can you believe that? I wrote a script to follow so I wouldn't sound like an idiot, and here I am, sounding like an idiot. God, I hate leaving messages. Okay, look, I've thought a lot about us and my mother's investigation and I'm just…" Kate is crying. She's horrified. An embarrassing emotional break-down was not part of the plan. Maybe he won't be able to tell. "I don't want to put my life on hold anymore. If you aren't too pissed at me or sick of me, I'd still like to have that date…and I think I've embarrassed myself enough now. Bye."

Kate throws herself down on the bed. Great, great message. Being in love has turned her brain into mush and her normal unwavering self-confidence into a jelly-like substance. Madison walks into the room to see her friend lying on the bed, a pillow over her face.

"Problems?"

Kate moves the pillow from her red swollen eyes. "If being in love doesn't turn out to be more fun than this, I'm going to swear it off completely."