Walking back into the office, fresh from the crime scene, Ziva felt the tension ease slightly from her shoulders. She was cold, exhausted and more than a little wound up. McGee had noticed, he had insisted on driving. Glad to finally be back and hoping to regain some normalcy today, she had expected everyone to be in the bullpen, everyone meaning Abby and Ducky as well as Tony and Gibbs. A familiar scene. So it surprised her to see only Tony at his desk, in dry clothes, but his hair still wet.
"You have been to the showers?" She concluded, showing a cunning smile.
"Yeah well, couldn't walk around with that river smell all night now could I?" Tony replied without looking away from his computer screen.
Ziva waited for the one liner, the insult, the McGee name calling. Nothing. It ended there. McGee looked to her and pulled a face, pointing with his eyes over at Tony. She stepped behind her desk, dropped her bag and fell down into her chair with a thump, never once taking her eyes off him.
"Okay, what?" Tony looked from her to McGee and back to her again.
Ziva, tension back, spat out a response. "Nothing is wrong, we are all fine. Aren't we McGee?"
"I'm going to go get coffee." McGee said in turn when all eyes fell on him.
Ziva knew it to be an excuse to leave. Clearly he was not willing to support her in this topic of conversion, which was fine. She would make him suffer for it later. McGee slunk passed her desk with barely more than a quick glance in Tony's direction as he picked up his ringing phone.
"So you are fine, yes?" Ziva continued.
Tony hung up his phone, "Yes, I'm fine, really. Just a day in a life."
"A day in a life of what?"
"Who." He corrected, distracted.
"What?"
"Never mind." Tony stood from his desk and walked away, looking bemused.
Ziva tracked him up the stairs and along his path, leading to the director's office. She decided she would say no more, better to stay silent and wait for Tony to break. She knew he would, eventually. What happened in the field today could not go by unspoken of for long. And if it took longer than she was willing to wait, well she wasn't beyond breaking hands, as the saying went.
…
Walking into the bullpen Gibbs expressed his usual air of authority. McGee's desk was empty, as was Tony's. Gibbs stood in front of Ziva.
Without him asking the question she replied, "with the director, and I believe McGee has gone on a coffee run."
Gibbs rolled his eyes upward to the balcony and strolled off determinedly up the stairs. He didn't knock when he got to the door, but the absence of Cynthia allowed him a minute to compose himself before bursting in.
"And then what happened?" Jen continued as if Gibbs hadn't just burst in and plonked himself on the chair in the corner.
Tony however, did stop in the giving of his statement. He looked to Gibbs, eyes wide as usual when he feels he's been caught out. Gibbs inwardly chuckled. He certainly didn't look like he was on the cusp of a relapse.
"Agent DiNozzo." Jen encouraged him to continue.
Gibbs gave a short sharp barely noticeable nod.
"Well, after I shot out the two in the warehouse I ran to the water, pulled Miss Tyler out and…" he paused.
Gibbs could feel the tension and saw the usual cocky look on DiNozzo's face fall into a more thoughtful, (fearful?) expression. He remembered the water, plunging deeper and being unable to move or help. He remembered seeing Tony appear in the water and then pushing Maddy out of the car. Then he was waking up on the deck. Tony sat exhausted between them. While he was sat on the step of the ambulance he realised that Tony must have jumped back in for him, he sure as hell didn't swim out by himself. What he hadn't fully appreciated at the time was that Tony was alone at the scene. Gibbs had assumed the whole team had arrived together.
Gibbs came out of his spiral of thoughts in time to hear the end. "After CPR I got a call through and, well Ziva and McGee can probably fill in the rest." Tony ended with a nervous chuckle.
Jen swallowed, looked over at Gibbs for a response. He wasn't inclined to give anything away right now, things between him and her were still on icy ground, and despite her willingly showing she didn't give a damn about any of that Gibbs was going to make his feelings very well known on the matter. He glared back.
"And your own health?" She put an infliction on the last word, enticing an involuntary wince from Gibbs.
He saw her brief smile of triumph, wasn't happy about his slip and even unhappier that Tony averted his gaze with Jen to stare at the floor.
"Tony-"
Gibbs coughed, interrupting her.
"I'm fine now." DiNozzo announced with a nervous chuckle, making confident eye contact with the director.
Lie. Gibbs didn't need a polygraph to tell him that. Jen sent an Icy glare in his direction, but it didn't diffuse the fiery one he was sending back, Gibbs was only sorry he couldn't fully see the look on Tony's face.
Silence descended upon the room like a fallen brick, swift and with the hint of looming disaster.
"You can go." Jen spoke kindly; shifting from malice to a warming smile as she deflected her gaze from Gibbs to Tony.
Tony stood and walked out of the room in silence, it was while watching the door close that Gibbs noticed how wrong that silence was and his face softened. Jen could see but he made no attempt to hide it this time.
"What do you want Jethro?"
"What do I want?" Gibbs mimicked,
He stood and prowled the office like a caged wild cat.
"You went off grid. Again." She announced.
Gibbs made no reply.
"I'm not going in to what we all already know." Jen continued, making Gibbs smile. "What's so amusing?"
"Nothing. We done here?"
Gibbs actually waited for the dismissal before leaving.
"Write your report, I'll do my best for you and your team."
"Just do your job. I'll handle my team," Gibbs threw over his shoulder before slamming the door behind him.
…
When McGee had returned with coffees and Tony's favourite do-nuts, feeling they could all do with a pick me up, it was already late in the day. Seeing only Ziva at her desk he asked the obvious question.
"Where's Tony?"
"In with the director." Ziva spoke bluntly.
McGee dropped a coffee on Gibbs' empty desk first. "Gibbs is?"
"Also with the director." Ziva accepted her smoothy from McGee.
Tim watched her stab her straw through the hole in the plastic dome shaped lid with barely contained rage. "Everything okay?" He hedged.
"No, everything is not okay, McGee." The emphasis she placed on his name made him back away, seeking safety behind his desk. It made no difference as Ziva stood up and followed him. "Gibbs very nearly drowned today, Tony very nearly drowned today."
"Tony did not nearly drown." He tried to laugh it off.
Truth was he didn't want to think about it. Facts and statistics, these came with assurances that could be relied upon and backed up with reasoning. Feelings were messy, unreliable and often didn't have a basis in truth, they were just there. His feelings were exactly like that right now, they were just there and he didn't know what to do with them. Geek feelings Tony would say if he told him.
"I do not understand, you saw, we were both there." Ziva was clearly processing out loud, wanting to vent he guessed.
He had hoped she would have gotten this out of her system with Tony while he was gone for coffee and when he'd returned the switch would have been flipped and everyone would be back to normal. Like the Simpsons. Not that he watched the Simpsons all that closely and he wasn't comparing them to the Simpsons, just that it doesn't seem to matter what happens, by the end of the episode everything is back to normal. A nice tidy bow. That's what he wanted, not the bow but tidy, everything squared away, nothing changed. Gibbs in charge, knowing what's happening next, yelling at Tony, smacking him on the back of the head not…
McGee dropped the do-nut bag and placed one extra sugary hazelnut latte on Tony's desk, with his own plain milky coffee and one caf-pow still in hand he said to Ziva. "I'm just going to see Abby."
...
When Gibbs slammed Jen's office door Cynthia was back at her desk, so, ignoring her, he kept right on walking until he was outside of MTAC. Gibbs stalled as he crossed the balcony, slowing enough to take stock of what was happening in the bullpen. McGee was still absent, though coffee cups where present, so he must have been and gone again. Ziva was where he left her and Tony … was heading for the elevator. Gibbs picked up his pace.
…
Tony still felt the chill despite having showered and changed, his suit and shoes were drying out in Abby's lab. The only clothes available were his jeans and an old checked shirt he'd once left in his bottom draw. They smelled okay so he didn't see why Ziva was giving him the look and McGee was avoiding him. He really just wanted to go home, but was sure that was pipe dream, considering all that had happened today he didn't know when he'd be seeing his own bed again.
Tony briefly returned to his desk after leaving Gibbs behind with Jenny. Not really wanting to be around for that discussion, especially considering that the last time he'd been in that room alone with them, he had only just avoided being blown up and, despite the support inside the room, Gibbs had been mightily pissed he hadn't thought to call and tell them 'by the way, I'm not dead', being in the custody, for want of a better phrase, of an arms dealer, just didn't cut it.
While rifling through his desk draw looking for change for the vending machine, since his wallet and his cash was a casualty of his swim this afternoon, Tony noticed the paper bag sat on his keyboard. Sniffing it carefully Tony smiled and snatched it up, walking quickly over to the elevator. He pressed the call button and the doors opened almost immediately.
"Gibbs?"
"DiNozzo." Gibbs replied softly, all matter of fact.
Tony stood on the precipice of the floor where it connected to the elevator, the doors tried to close on him and he instinctually hit out a hand to prevent being squished.
"Going somewhere, boss?" Tony beamed a smile, trying to sound casual.
Gibbs nodded but didn't answer. Tony felt the nerves creeping up . The elephant in the room. The unspoken truth.
"You okay DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked as he stepped inside and pressed the button to take it downstairs.
Tony heard concern and began to fear the worse that maybe that near death experience had changed his boss irrevocably. "You're the one that stopped breathing boss, sure you're okay?"
He didn't mean it quite the way it sounded, but he was working off script here. Gibbs didn't react in anyway Tony could see, but he knew he was thinking something.
"You nearly did yourself." Gibbs said calmly.
Thrust back to that terrifying moment, Tony felt the panic rise in his chest again. He'd been relieved from his first aid duties by the arrival of Ziva and McGee and had been too tired to move much less organise. The paramedics had arrived shortly after, they swarmed, handing out those tin foil blankets in excess, taking Gibbs and Maddy to separate ambulances. Tony had felt the shivers as deep as his bones, but Ducky had taken the time to look over him before starting on the corpses of the bad guys. Told him to rest. When he'd felt his strength return along with a little warmth he borrowed McGee's cell and started making calls. He'd been watching the car being pulled from its watery parking space when something caught. His chest had been progressively tightening and the pain he'd been feeling every time he breathed in was getting harder and harder to ignore. He'd thought he would make it back to the office. He'd thought wrong. He took one particularly painful breath, and then nothing; his lungs just weren't having it. Given up the ghost.
He knew the second it went fuzzy that he'd soon be saying howdy to the floor. What he hadn't been expecting was coming around to the feel of arms wrapped tightly around his middle, head pressed close to another man's neck. It didn't take him long to realise it was his boss. The scent of river water aside, he could hear the low spoken voice telling him to breathe. And breathe he did, forgetting all else, because that was the point of this all out hug. He knew he was in trouble if he didn't do as he was told, in more ways than the usual. Time passed, then a hand carded through his hair before he was sat back, handed the trusty nebulizer they carried around as standard in their company sedans.
That was a special addition just for him and his plague scarred lungs. He'd rebuked at the idea at first, cocky and certain it was unnecessary; he'd beaten the plague after all. Now though, well he didn't debate his gratefulness when the medicine hit his throat and opened a much appreciated airway. He had still been a little dazed at this point, but hadn't missed that he was surrounded. An embarrassing thought now, but he'd laugh it off as always, his moment of weakness.
Tony broke out of his thoughts when he became very aware that Gibbs was watching him, "Err, well you started it."
Him and Gibbs. Kisses and hugs. And all in the same day. Strange turn of events he was wasn't expecting when he walked into the office this morning.
The elevator dinged. Thankful Gibbs hadn't resulted to pulling the thing to an all-out stop so Tony jumped off and wandered into autopsy. He knew Gibbs was hot on his heels, but what he didn't know was whether Gibbs had been going that way in the first place or if he was being followed.
"Reporting as ordered Duckman!" Tony cheered as the door swished open.
"Ah, my dear boy, so glad you are sounding much better, hello Jethro, and you too I presume? Suffering no ill effects?" Ducky barely let Tony get a word in and his spiel gave no hint as to whether Gibbs was an expected visitor or if Ducky just assumed they arrived together on purpose.
"Hop on the slab Anthony, I need to check you over." Ducky patted the table and Tony did as he was told.
"Shirt up please." Ducky instructed grabbing his stethoscope. "And breathe in. You know I'm reminded - out - of a time…"
Tony held his breath and let it out, but Ducky didn't continue. "Ducky?"
"Ssshhh"
Not a good sign. He felt fine, a little discomfort, nothing he hadn't suffered before on the odd occasion he'd had the sniffles. Just another down side of being a plague survivor.
"Err, Ducky you're scaring me now." Tony joked, hiding the truth with the truth.
"Sorry, I'm sure it'll pass." Ducky looked thoughtful.
Tony was just forming the question when Gibbs zeroed in, "What?"
"I heard a slight crackle, I'm going to take an x ray and then we'll know more about what we are dealing with."
Tony smiled, honestly didn't know what else to do, he was so tired he could even cry if pushed to it. He looked to Gibbs but the space he had previously occupied was empty and all Tony caught was the quiet swish of the doors closing as he left.
...
Gibbs exited autopsy and hit the elevator call button. He kicked out at the door when it didn't immediately open. He'd never hated himself more. He looked back into autopsy, saw Ducky talking to Tony, heard the clunk of the x ray machine taking its picture and it was over, Tony was pulling his shirt back on but remained sat on the table all alone, eyes closed, looking like he was just holding it all in. Gibbs immediately stomped back inside and stood himself in front of Tony.
"What you did…" Gibbs let the sentence hang knowing Tony would be expecting him to say stupid or idiotic or reckless. Gibbs grabbed Tony and hugged him, "you did good" he whispered into his ear. Tony relaxed and hugged Gibbs back.
This wasn't like the CPR Tony had to administer, or Gibbs helping him catch a breath when his lungs weren't up to the job. This was comfort and friendship and family.
Gibbs continued "Thank you."