Sorry that I've been mucking around with the names . . . I meant to keep it Japanese style, because then I could do the whole 'Akasuna no Sasori' thing. I just like the name . . . a-ka-soo-na no sa-so-ri . . . I like saying it :3

a-ka-soo-na no sa-so-ri. a-ka—please excuse me.

Also, I just found out; blond is for males, blonde is for females, brunet is for males, brunette is for females. French much?

SHAMELESS SELF ADVERTISMENT! Do you like emo Naruto? Do you like angsty Itachi? If so, the storm tree is the story for YOU! Head to my profile page and follow the link! (rated m for emo-ness, and the spontaneous sex coming up in the next few chapters!)

Warnings! Hints (okay, more than hints) of incest, skip it if you want, it's just there for comedic value. Not that I approve of incest. No, that's just. . .eww. itasasu is the exception to my general rule. Foul languge. Not FOWL language, 'cause I'm pretty fucking sure birds aren't that advanced. . .yet. . .

Also, I'd like to inform you that some of my keys are sticky, so if you see any skipped letters, please ignore it. If it's causing reading trouble, leave a review and I'll fix it all up for you. No, this hasn't been edited, because I'm banned off the computer. You're lucky to be getting this. Needless to say, updates will be sporadic, but I'll make them good.

Anyways, read and enjoy :)

"It's eternal, brat. That's all there is to it." Sasori tried to dumb it down, enough for this stupid thing to understand.

"Nu-uh, un. True art is fleeting! A bang, un!" the blond had leaned down closer to him, his face hovering right above the puppet masters'.

"True art is eternal, you stupid brat. And what the fuck is up with you? Why do you keep saying 'un', idiot?" the grin on the blonds face was more than slightly evil.

"Annoying, isn't it" the blond paused for a moment "…un."

Sasori glared.

"Annoying is an understatement, brat. Quit it." He didn't like the way that the blond man's leering face got closer and closer to his. Sasori could practically feel the waft of his breath against his face. He looked up, past the golden locks that were obscuring his vision . . . gold against blue . . . hmm, I must think about that . . . maybe mix in a little white. . .

Sasori's sight was disjointed, and colours that didn't exist waltzed across the sky, blue, white, laced with a web of gold. Sasori blinked, holding his eyelids down for longer than was necessary. He opened his eyes back up, though, determined to survive the rest of the time he had to spend with the little brat, not to mention that he had yet to meet Sasuke's friend. He really felt like he needed to bully someone just then. Even if it meant comparing Sasuke's gravity defying hair to the charming contours of a ducks butt. In front of Itachi. In other words, Sasori was feeling so frustrated, tired and sadistic that he'd commit suicide for the slightest thrill.

"I'm not going to quit it, asshole, uuuuun," he drew out the annoying sound that he had decided to tack onto the end of his sentences, making Sasori's eyebrow twitch. From the tone of his voice, the red head had the distinct impression that if he looked at the blonds' head, a small, pink coloured tongue would be poked out between his pouting lips.

"Until you admit that true art is transien-MOTHERFU-mphh" push, splash.

Shock.

A light, airy moan.

"Brat, did you just. . ?"

"Someone pushed me, I swear, un!" loud obnoxious laughter came from behind the blond.

"HA! I got you good, Deidara sempai!" the laughter continued, and Sasori felt eyebrow twitch. Again.

"Brat, get off me." Sasori ordered coldly. The brat, Deidre or whatever his ridiculously feminine name was stayed still, his golden locks still obscuring Sasori's view of the sky. Which meant that Sasori would resort to force.

Reaching his small hands upwards, he grabbed the back of the blonds' white shirt. With a twist and pull motion that he had known for years, he threw the brat onto his back, soaking him even more. He stood up, looking like a cat that had just been dunked in the bath, all straggly, wet and unimpressed. Very unimpressed.

"YOU LITTLE IDIOT!" Sasori shouted at the orange wearing blond that had apparently pushed the brat into the fountain and onto . . .

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUSH SOMEONE INTO A FOUNTAIN? WE WERE CLEARLY HAVING A CONVERSATION," the orange idiot-as Sasori had dubbed the boy- grinned as widely as his small face would allow, crinkling his eyes, and scrunching his nose. He reached a fluorescent orange clad arm to the back of his head, scratching at the sun bright yellow locks atop his head. What is with this place and annoying blonds?

Deidara struggled out of the fountain, untangling his scarf which had somehow gotten caught I the toes of the man.

"Yeah Naruto, un. Don't just push people into fountains. They may drown, un." Deidara looked more like a mad cat that had been dunked in a bathtub. He was smiling, but somehow Sasori knew that the purpose of that smile was not to re-assure. His hair was dripping wet, and a few leaves and twigs had been caught in his luxurious locks. His visible eye was wide, and he fixed the orange idiot a glare that froze the smile on his face. Sasori thought he could see the boys bottom lip trembling. The smaller blond brought both hands up in front of him and waved them a bit his smile still fixed on his face.

"Ehehehe, I didn't mean to push you, Deidara sempai, I . . . eh . . ." the blonds' smile had turned into a grimace as he tried to appease the rampaging brat. Wel,l not quite rampaging yet but it looked pretty damn close.

Sasori's eyes narrowed even more, if that was possible.

"And what about me? You'd be fine if you drowned me?" a panicked look appeared on the small blonds face, and he dropped his arms to his sides.

"I-I'm sorry, mister, I-I didn't . . . I'm sorry" the poor boy looked like he was about to piss himself, faced with the two most deadly glares this side of the Uchiha manor. Sasori didn't think too much of the blond 'artist', but he thought even less of the orange idiot.

"I don't want to hear your excuses, I want to see you leaving us the fuck ALONE. We were TALKING," how Sasori's voice managed to go from normal to a low hiss, to full on shouting in two sentences, no-one but he would know.

Deidara snickered. So the redhead was touchy about privacy, or was he just pissed off because of the . . . Deidara covered his mouth with his gloved hand to stop from drawing attention to himself. Yes, Deidara was minorly bipolar.

"Oh, does Sori-Sori want privacy?" a mocking voice called, making the redhead turn around, the look on his face proclaiming that there would be death.

"What did you just say, Uchiha Itachi?" Sasori's words hissed out, poisonous and deadly. Itachi was sure that if you could bottle that voice, it would be kept in one of those 'biohazard' containers and given one of those fancy Latin names that they give to potentially lethal things. The thought amused him greatly.

"I said, 'oh, does Sori-Sori want some privacy' in a highly assuming voice, to see if I could get the reaction that you have just graced me with. In fact, that led to a very amusing thou-"

"Do us all a favour, Uchiha, and shut the fuck up." Sasori growled, not in the mood to hear about Itachi's 'amusing thoughts' which, most of the time, weren't amusing at all.

"Unfortunately, Akasuna, I am, as you have repeatedly pointed out, a so-called 'sadistic bastard', and I do not wish to shut up. Also, it goes against my code of ethics." Itachi's code of ethics was a complicated (and completely ridiculous) thing.

"Well, then, in keeping with your code of ethics, this is how I should phrase my request then; 'Itachi, shut the fuck up, or Sasuke snuffs it'. Happy now, oh high and mighty Uchiha?" but, yes, Sasori knew his weak spot.

"Otouto and I are fighting at the moment; please do not mention his name. Also, death threats against him are not appreciated, nor allowed, so if you wish to be able to look upon my charming face, I encourage you to not even look at a stand of my brothers' hair." Sasori snorted.

"I apologise if that isn't possible. I mean, who shapes their hair like a ducks butt?"

"Who indeed? Otouto says that is natural, but I have my doubts. Say, little brother, are you sure that that ridiculous hair is natural?"

"And are you sure that your face is natural?" Sasuke's slightly less smooth voice joined the conversation.

It was funny, Sasori mused, he couldn't even see the brothers yet, and he was taunting them to all get out. He supposed that was why they got along so well. The two Uchiha's rounded the corner, with more distance between them than they ever saw fit to put between their almost identical bodies. The really were fighting.

"So what are you arguing about this time?" Sasori never was one to beat around the bush.

"Otouto insists that I am having an affair with an exotic dancer from Kiri. I have told him time and time again that Kisame is not an exotic dancer, and that I am not having an affair with him, but he won't listen." Itachi had no qualms about over sharing in public. Come to think of it, Itachi didn't have any qualms about anything, if it satisfied his exceedingly sick sense of humour.

"And I have told Aniki time and time again that I do NOT think that he is having an affair with Kisame, nor do I think he is an exotic dancer. The man looks like a fish, for fucks sake!" how the Uchiha's managed to get into such interesting arguments, Sasori had no clue.

All the while, as the two raven headed men and the redhead exchanged barbs and sarcasm, the watching blonds just gawked. Naruto frequently scratched at his head, saying 'I don't get it' and Deidara pressed his mouth into his hand even harder, trying to stop the sounds of laughter from escaping. The youngest boy's hair really did look like a ducks' butt.

"Otouto! Kisame is one of my dearest friends. Show some respect."

"Aniki, you're stupid."

"Otouto, that's a weak comeback."

"Aniki, that's-"

"We get it, we get it, you're brothers, move on." Sasori hated it when those two got stuck on the 'otouto' 'aniki' thing, because, inevitably, it led to socially unacceptable, not to mention unexplainable, displays of highly inappropriate affection. Especially because they were brothers.

Just how do you explain the siblings feeling each other up against your lounge room door? 'Oh, just ignore them. They do it all the time, the horn dogs'? Because that doesn't work. Poor Sasori knew that from experience.

Unfortunately, 'moving on' was not the pleasant thing that Sasori had expected, involving both of the Uchiha's transforming themselves into puppets and telling Sasori that he could have them. . .all right, that was a bit delusional. But only a bit.

"By the way, Sasori, what are you doing here?" Itachi. . .ask a stupid question. Sasori felt like smacking his head against the palm of his hand.

"I'm here because you told me to wait here while you went and got Sasuke's friend." Sasori hissed. He hated it when Itachi pulled stuff like this. The redhead had enough stress in his life, he didn't need any more.

"Oh, did I? Otouto, did I ask Sasori to stay here?"

"I don't know, Aniki, you had your hands down my pants at the time, I was a little distracted." Okay, so Sasuke didn't care about over sharing in public either. . .must be an Uchiha thing.

A muffled snort drew Sasori's disgusted 'oh-my-GOD-get-a-fucking-ROOM' glare away from the sick and twisted brothers (as Sasori liked to call them) and to the glowing face of one D-something-something. Sasori wasn't good with names.

"What do you think you're laughing at, brat?" the redheads eyes had narrowed to slits, and his eyebrows had furrowed. Annoying strands of crimson red hair had fallen into his eyes, and he flipped them back out of them. Sasori hated having hair in his eyes.

"You're friends are funny, 'Sori-Sori'," D-whatever-the-fuck-the-rest-of-his-name-was giggled. Honest to god gigged. Sasori had thought that only girls in cheesy romance flicks did that. Not that Sasori had watched any cheesy romance flicks. . .

"Don't call me 'Sori-Sori'"

"Don't call me brat."

"But you are a brat."

"Nuh-uh"

"You just proved mu point."

"NUH-UH!"

"Excuse me," a soft voice called out. "But would you please take your childish squabbling elsewhere so I can talk to my friend in peace?"

"Otouto, is this your friend?" Itachi asked, big brother mode ON.

"Yes. Itachi, this is. . ."

And that, my friends, is where I shall leave you.

No! Sasuke's friend is NOT Naruto! OMG! I just couldn't see Sasuke putting up with him voluntarily if he was already in a relationship. Can you guess who it is? Anyone who can gets a virtual typewriter, because typewriters are awesome. And a cake. Black forest cake. With chocolate cream, and some baileys to go with it. Nummms

So, review. I want to see who can guess who Sasuke's managed to befriend, despite his duck butt hair, rude attitude and incestuous inclinations.

Also, tell me what you think of Sasori and Deidara! What do you think happened when Naruto pushed Dei into the fountain? I can tell you that it will be original!

Go on, you know you want to. . .

Anways, see ya.

Nychta is OUT

Night night.