CHAPTER SEVEN

Bianca was sitting on the edge of her daughter's bed. Miranda had just fallen asleep and Bianca was just enjoying watching her. "She is so sweet and serene." Bianca thought with a smile. "I cannot believe how much you have grown, my little angel." She whispered and with that she leaned in and gently kissed her child's forehead. She walked over to the bedside of Gabby and pressed her lips to her daughter's temple after adjusting her blanket.

Bianca crept quietly, backwards out of the girls' room and closed the door. She walked through the house, turning out lights and double checking door locks. As she made her way into the living area, she grabbed her book and a throw and curled up on the couch. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes momentarily. Her thoughts turned from her sleeping children to Marissa. She had seen her earlier that day at lunchtime. They had a lovely time at Krystal's. Bianca thought that Marissa looked amazing in the blue blouse, with her hair pulled back and a deliciously snug pair of jeans on. She was quite surprised that she even remembered all that was said.

"JR is taking me out tonight!" Bianca recalled Marissa saying. "He has this amazing evening planned. I have got to admit, that I am a little intrigued. He has been pretty sweet lately and not as aggressive. Maybe he is indeed changing and really taking my feelings into consideration."

Bianca remembered how her heart sank at the sound of those words. She was falling so in love with Marissa and fighting a daily battle to keep her emotions in check. To hear about things turning around for Marissa & JR, well…that was great, if it did in fact make Marissa happy. But does it? I swear sometimes I feel like I see something in her eyes. Like some hint of her waiting for me to jump up and whisk her away. Like she is testing me with all these stories of JR. Testing and waiting to see if I will speak up. Bianca opened her eyes and contemplated those thoughts for the hundredth time that night. No, no…see, Bianca? There you go again. Fantasies and projecting your feelings are going to cost you your best friend. Bianca shut the door in her mind, no longer open to this line of thought, and just as she picked up her book there was a knock upon the door.

Bianca stood up and walked to the door, a little wary of who could be dropping by. She partially opened the door and found Marissa sitting slumped on a bench near the door. She was dressed up and yet seemed to be sobbing uncontrollably. There was no sign of JR anywhere. She threw the door open completely and rushed to Marissa's side. Bianca wrapped her arm around Marissa as she sat beside her friend.

The thoughts that raced through Bianca's mind were those of protector and less of just a friend. She was feeling very protective right now and almost swore to inflict pain upon whichever person, or persons, were responsible for making her strong and beautiful friend turn into this vulnerable mess. "What is wrong, M?" Bianca spoke softly. "What happened? I thought you were out with JR tonight? How did you get here?"

Marissa just continued to cry and turned herself into her friend's shoulder. Bianca said "It's okay. You can answer when you are ready. I am here and you are not alone. I will be here as long as you need." Then she gave her a little squeeze and leaned back against the stone wall.

After what easily had been thirty minutes, Marissa's sobbing seemed to be winding down. She also seemed to be trembling. Bianca stood up, pulling Marissa with her and guided her into the house. She helped Marissa to the couch where she sat before and wrapped her throw around Marissa's trembling figure. She took a seat beside her and softly rubbed Marissa's back with one hand.

Marissa spoke quietly. "I was with JR. We started out with a lovely dinner at some very expensive Italian place that I never heard of. Everything was in Italian and he was making a big show by ordering fancy wines and such and at first I thought it was cute. I mean I know he was trying to impress me, but then he seemed to just not be listening. He was suggesting food for me and ordering things. Then we saw Scott and Madison there and he just seemed annoyed and would not stop talking about Scott and glaring at him. I would try to defend Scott or change the subject entirely. This didn't help. He would start questioning my feelings and it was just awful."

Bianca felt there was more, so she just nodded for Marissa to continue and took her hand and squeezed it for reassurance.

Marissa continued. " I was wanting to go home and he started apologizing and then begging. He said he would make it up to me. He had acquired some tickets to some new play. It is apparently all the rage and he swore up and down that I would love it. So I felt bad, and tried to give him another shot. We went to see this play..." She paused and appeared as if tears were forming again. Through a pained whisper she continued. "It's called 'Angel's Breath'."

At the mention of the play, Bianca gasped and pulled Marissa, who was crying again, back into a hug. I know exactly which play that is. She thought to herself. What an ass! What a selfish inconsiderate ass. In all his attempts to impress his ex-wife, did he even do an ounce of research? Taking Marissa to a play about dealing with the loss of a parent through a car accident…knowing that is a reality that she has been struggling with for years? He couldn't possibly have bothered to check. Not even JR is that callous.

Bianca's embrace had grown tighter, without her even realizing. Marissa held on though. She didn't mind it much at that point. She felt safe and protected and very loved in the moment. She sighed, and thought, I just feel so safe right now. I know this probably isn't considered normal friend behavior…but I don't want to be anywhere else. I certainly do not want to see JR. I just had to see Bianca. I care about her, I mean it isn't like that…at least, well I have never felt that way before. I would think if I were gay, I would have had some clue prior to now. She got frustrated and buried her head in Bianca's shoulder.

Bianca received her and although she knew her friend was in pain, she couldn't help but smile a little at the way it felt to hold her like that. Bianca was thrilled to be able to hold on, so tightly, and so close. She could feel Marissa's body as she breathed and felt Marissa's warm breath on her neck. She could feel herself getting somewhat aroused by the touch and feel of the beautiful woman that was so very close. She began to absent-mindedly stroke Marissa's hair and rubbed her hands up and down her back.

Marissa got a shiver at Bianca's touch and she was suddenly very aware of the hands that carresses her. It had been a good while since she had been this close to anyone and she sort of went along with it. She relished the affection and attention. This is Bianca. She reminded herself. She is a woman and your best friend. Think about this. That is the point though… she is my very best friend and at this point in my life I don't think there is anyone who understands me as well as she does. And she listens to me and actually cares about what I am saying and she is thoughtful and funny and warm and just gorgeous, if I am being realistic. Everybody would agree and yes she is a woman…but when I am with her, I feel so…so complete. I feel like I can do anything, attempt anything. She makes me feel strong and proud and safe. She makes me feel like I am home, no matter where we are, as long as she is there…I am home.

Marissa pulled away from Bianca and looked up into her face. She kept her hands still firmly pressed to Bianca's back…like she was not sure she was ready to be let go. Bianca was frozen now. She looked at Marissa and became momentarily lost in her eyes. What does she need from me now? She wondered and asks, " Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do for you?"