Hello everybody, I'm posting before Monday as promised. Here's the third chapter, the fourth and hopefully last chapter should posted by the middle of the week!

Disclaimer: Still own nothing!

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"No, Kate, you did it for yourself, because you got scared of what it could mean for us. You shut me out like you had two days earlier when you kicked me out of your life. You got scared by the truth because you realised that I knew you and that you couldn't lie to me about that." He needed to remind himself to stay calm. Their dirty laundry could not end up in a yelling match. They had already tried that, look at how that had turned out.

"Do you realise what it did to me? I thought you hated me since it was my fault you got shot. You died because of me, Kate. You flat-lined twice. I hated myself so much. When you didn't want to talk to me, I thought you were blaming me too. You never said anything to make me think otherwise." He had needed her to say it wasn't his fault. He hadn't believed his mother but hearing Kate say it... Didn't she understand that he lived with that guilt every day? That it nearly killed him every time her scar hurt her, knowing that he was responsible for every time she panicked at the smallest sound?

"What... Castle, what are you talking about? It wasn't your fault I got shot. The sniper did this. They did this..." She sounded so convinced by what she was saying but she had to understand where he was coming from. "But it was my fault you reopened your mom's case. I put you in the line of fire. And I can't even find the sniper that did this to you..." She realised what he had said when she saw the guilty look on his face. He seemed horrified by his words.

"What do you mean you can't find him? Have you been looking for him? What else have you been hiding from me? Did you make any progress on my mom's case?" She shot her questions in rapid fire, looking angrier by the second. She seemed more interested by what he had found out than by the fact that he had lied to her. Knowing how much she valued the truth, it was very unsettling.

"I investigated your shooting. I couldn't stand to know he was out there, free to try and kill you again," he replied fiercely. "But you asked me not to investigate my mother's murder, I could have helped you!" she shot back instantly. "You don't understand! They will kill you if you touch your mom's case again, Kate! I can't let you do that. You can't die because you want closure, I would never get over it. I can say it now, I love you, you can't leave me because of your mom's murder!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" she seemed so confused... "I was investigating your shooting. A man called me. I don't know who he was but he told me that the men who tried to kill you would try again if you kept going. That's why I tried to keep you away from the case. They would finish the job this time. I couldn't let that happen!"

"So you lied to me?" Okay, maybe she cared about the lying. "I did it to protect you! They will kill you, Kate! Please don't ask me to live without you... I won't survive it. I mean, do you even care about your own life?"

"I don't care about my life? I'm fighting for my life! Those months I spent at my dad's cabin, I spent them trying to get better! I see the police therapist to get better. I want to solve my mom's case so we can have everything! I'm fighting to have a life, to make a life for us, Castle! I can't go into this relationship knowing I can't give you everything. You've given me so much in the last three years, the only way to repay you is to be ready for this."

"Don't you realise what you have given me? I started to write again the second I got home after that first case. I had been writing for a long time because of a deadline and not because I had something to write about. When I look at you, I have feelings, sentences, entire scenes playing out in my head. I had never experienced that before, Kate. And you gave me a purpose. I needed to have a reason to get up in the morning. Alexis is my main reason but I needed this for me. I needed real and your job is real. And this thing between us, this is it. It doesn't get more real than this."

"I... My God, Castle, how do you want me to answer that?" She was overwhelmed. So many misunderstandings had given her the impression that they both lacked words when it came to them. It seemed like she'd been wrong.

"Don't answer. I can give you time. For this or for your case. You know I can. As long as you promise it's not gonna be three months without hearing from you." He needed the reassurance that she wouldn't leave him hanging for nothing. "I see what you did there, Castle, very funny, haha." Well, if they could joke about it...

"Alright, I promise. Promise me you'll tell me all you found out about my mom's case and about my shooting." And she needed the reassurance that he would stop hiding things from her. She could forgive many things but that wasn't one of them.

"You know I can't promise you that, Kate. If it's ever safe for you to know, I promise I will tell you everything. I know you grew up thinking the truth was always the best way to handle a situation but in this case, I'm sure some things are better kept secret until we bring them down. And I will do anything in my power to keep you safe." He had said that with so much conviction she could only believe him. She would have to wait and trust him, both with her life and with her heart. She just couldn't say which would be the most difficult to hand over to him for protection.

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