CHAPTER FIFTEEN
As her eyes came into focus, Bianca's grin grew wider. She squeezed Marissa in a little tighter as she looked upward at Marissa's beaming face. "Well, Good Morning!" She said softly. "It is Morning, right?"
Marissa smiled and craned her neck to give Bianca a soft kiss on the cheek. "Yes it is…I mean technically it is morning…just really early morning." Marissa replied with a smile. "It's 4 a.m." She then laid her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes. She released a contented sigh and the smile was still on her lips.
"4 a.m.?" Bianca raised her head from Marissa's shoulder and sat up facing her lover. "Did you even sleep? How are you still awake?" Marissa giggled a little, never opening her eyes and said "Umm, pure adrenaline, I guess? I don't know? Euphoria? Bliss? Happiness? The rush of feelings I have never felt before. Feeling secure and safe…feeling free of burden? Should I go on?" With that she opened her eyes and warmly smiled at Bianca.
"No…no…" Bianca began, easing closer to Marissa. "I know a little something about all of that." Upon finishing her words, she had reached Marissa's lips and she closed her eyes and took those cherry lips with her own. Softly at first, parting only slightly to take the lower lip between her teeth. As Marissa's hands once again made their way across Bianca's ivory skin…and Bianca felt the blood surging through her vessels. She felt the spots where her lover's hand touched begin to flush and rage with a fire. Her kisses became more forceful. She parted Marissa's lips with her own and her tongue met with Marissa's. The velvety soft warmth filled her mouth. She pushed deeper.
Her hands rubbed and caressed Marissa's body. She groped her wildly, pulling her tighter and tighter, as if she could not get close enough. She broke the kiss and gasped, slightly, for air. She released her lover's body and raised her hands to hold Marissa's face as she looked into her eyes. "Marissa…I have something to say."
Marissa bit her bottom lip, a little disappointed that the affection had ceased. She looked intently at Bianca after hearing those words and felt a slight drop in her stomach at the severity in Bianca's tone. She nodded. Bianca continued. "I have made a mess of things these last few months. I was feeling something, and was afraid of what it could mean. When I realized that I was most definitely falling in love, I psyched myself into believing that you would never feel the same. Now that you are here…now that you have said all that you said and we have gone to this next step…well, I'm"
"Terrified." Marissa interjected, completing Bianca's thoughts. Bianca smirked and nodded continuing. "I mean, I know how I feel. You are a great friend, the best I have had since…well since Maggie. You have been with me through so much, much like her, and friends like that don't come around every day. So you could see why I would want to hold onto that. I mean, how was I supposed to know you were feeling this way? You get why I was scared of just coming out with it, right?"
Marissa nodded and replied. "Of course, I understand. It is the same for me. I have heard some of the details. I know some of what has happened to you. I was scared too. Scared of this new thing I was feeling and scared of losing "my rock". You have been there for me through so much and I didn't want to hurt you or do something that would jeopardize this friendship. But I am not afraid…not anymore. I know that I am in love with you. I owe it to myself to see where this goes. I can't promise to always know what I am doing…but I believe with you by my side, I can figure it out."
Bianca kissed Marissa and said " I have been hurt a lot and it has made me who I am, but the fear was keeping me from wanting to go for it. Losing Maggie was hard because I felt so betrayed, and well Reese was heartbreaking because we both made mistakes and lost our way. I let that fear cripple me and I am ashamed of it. I am ashamed because…Well, I love you, Marissa. I love you so very much and I have felt it grow from something small to this grand thing and I am ashamed that I ever hid it. I am ashamed that I almost wanted to run. I want this and I want you and I want to do this right…together."
Tears welled up and filled Marissa's eyes upon hearing Bianca's declaration of love. Her arms pulled Bianca tighter to her and she smiled. "I love you too, Bianca. And we will do this right. I promise. Step by step…together."
"Okay then." Bianca said. " First step should be that we get some rest. Then I am going to take you to breakfast. Then…"
"Then…" Marissa interjected. "We tell the kids…first…together, because want them to have a handle on this before we share with anyone else. What do you think?"
"I think that is a good idea." Bianca replied. "There are going to be a lot of people to tell. Some are easy and some not so easy. Which brings me to the subject of JR." Marissa cringed a little. "I know you made it clear to him that it is over…but I have a long history with him and I don't trust springing this on him. I think it would only end poorly. I am also not one to hide in the closet either…but I thought maybe we need to go slowly in public and be careful to not overload him in a way that brings about any hostile reaction. What are your thoughts?"
"I think you are very smart." Marissa replied. "I know what his jealousy and constant competing with Scott can do to him, I shudder to think what this will bring. Hmm…maybe we should wait on the kids then? Maybe we should just enjoy our own little secret for a little while until I we find the right situation to break it to JR. I would like some time to just figure this out more…to learn more about you and this thing we have found."
"Ahh, best friends by day and secret lovers at night?" Bianca said in an affected tone, with a smirk. "I like how that sounds, Counselor. I like anything that involves you….all to myself." Marissa raised an eyebrow and let out a low moan, before saying. "I know a little something you could have to yourself." Bianca's smile crept across her face as she embraced her lover and they let the passion consume them once more.