Author's Note: I am kind of nervous about this chapter; I really like the chemistry between Deeks and Kensi, and how they almost but never quite say what we all want them to say. It was kind of hard for me to try to write that kind of interplay…I hope I did them justice! :)
"Hey, Deeks." Kensi smiled as brightly as she could as she perched on her desk, facing her unusually quiet partner. "That was crazy, huh?"
"Hmm? Yeah. Crazy." Deeks was flipping through a file quickly.
Kensi bit her bottom lip. She really wanted to ask Deeks about his assessment of her. The way he wrote it almost sounded like he…no, he couldn't…did he?
"So…" She started tapping her fingers in an erratic pattern.
Deeks looked up. "You always hate it when I do that…why are you doing it?"
"I guess I picked up the habit." Kensi shot back, watching as Deeks turned around and grabbed a doughnut.
"I'm glad I've been such a good influence." Deeks said around a mouthful of the pastry.
That was Kensi's opening. "Yeah, good thing you are here; I might think with my heart too much."
Deeks's head shot up and he looked slightly hurt. "Kensi, I am so sorry; I didn't know Hetty would read those out loud. I didn't mean that as a bad thing…are you mad?"
Kensi hurried to reassure him she was not. "No, of course not. You were just saying what you really thought, how can I be angry at that?"
Deeks relaxed, and neither one looked away after a moment of silence. Deeks spoke carefully.
"So…I'm your best friend, huh?"
Kensi blushed slightly. "So, I'm the reason you come to work, huh?"
Deeks smiled. "You think I come for the day-old Danish?" He cocked his head and laced his fingers behind his head. Kensi laughed.
"I don't know, the coffee is like a siren song for me." She said with a grin. Deeks laughed with her. After a moment, he looked concerned. "Did…you really mean what you said?"
"No, Deeks, I totally lied in what I thought was a private letter to Hetty." Kensi said in a highly sarcastic tone. Deeks flinched and Kensi suddenly felt guilty.
"I'm kidding, Deeks."
Deeks gave a small smile. "I know…I'm just not used to people actually saying nice things about me. I don't know if you noticed, but I am not the easiest person to get along with."
"Oh, I noticed." Kensi nodded empathically.
Deeks continued as if she hadn't spoken, staring at his desktop. "It seems like the more I care about someone the more I push them away. I don't want that to happen to us, Kensi."
Kensi had the weirdest feeling he wasn't talking about just their partnership. "It would take a lot to push me away, Marty."
Deeks looked up in surprise at her use of his given name. She didn't stop talking, instead standing and walking to the coffee pot behind Deeks's desk.
"We've been through some pretty serious stuff together, Deeks. And I have put up with a lot from you, and vice versa. I think if you were going to push me away, you would have done it already." She poured a cup of the warm liquid and returned the carafe to its plate with a slight clatter. "I'm not going anywhere." She turned and took a sip, hoping the action would cover her shaking hands.
Deeks was looking right at her, giving her the vaguest impression he was looking right through her, right into the depths of her mind. It gave her a slight unsettled feeling, but not unpleasant. His eyes narrowed, then he nodded slowly. "I'm not planning on going anywhere, either. And thanks for not, like, kicking me for saying you were pretty."
Kensi laughed sincerely. "I'm not in the habit of kicking people that give me compliments."
"What about that guy at Westerford's?" Deeks pointed out.
"Okay, sleazy guys in local dives I will kick." Kensi amended her statement. "But not people I…trust." She took another sip hastily.
"You really meant that? You really trust me?" Deeks sounded surprised.
"Of course, Deeks. Shouldn't I?" She cocked her head at him and set her cup down on his desk.
Her partner was silent for a long moment. "That could be dangerous, you know." He was quiet. "People that trust me always wind up hurt."
"Hey, I'm the one whose partners get shot. Maybe you should be scared of me." Kensi said with a slightly bitter laugh. "And besides. It's worth the risk to me."
Deeks and Kensi stared at each other for a long moment. Finally the liaison officer grinned. "Hug?" He spread his arms.
"Just this once." Kensi said and pulled him close comfortingly. They stood there a moment, then Kensi pulled back. She noticed Deeks seemed reluctant to break the embrace, but he took a step back as well.
"We good?" She asked with a smile, looking right in his eyes.
"We're good." He confirmed, smiling a true Deeks smile.
As Kensi returned to her desk, she glanced back at her partner. There was something in his eyes…something more than trust…but it couldn't be love…could it? No….well…could it?
She sat, thinking to herself that she would probably never know. Deeks wasn't the kind of person that told someone how he felt; they kind of had to guess. She was just thankful that she had plenty of time to figure it out.