Impossible

Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.

Chapter 3: Confession

They are almost always on opposing sides, even when they had the same goal. Stefan tended to be cautious and considerate, while Damon saw everything around him as a means to whatever it was he set his eyes on—Elena's safety being one of those things. But this isn't what made Stefan feel like the world shifted around him and suddenly he was the one all alone.

Damon stared into the fireplace, watching the flames lick the edges of the wood, mesmerized by their dance. He kept looking at it even when Stefan entered the living room and sat down quietly away from him, staring until he was acknowledged.

"What?" Damon spat out irritated, feeling Stefan's eyes burn a hole through him as he refused to face his brother.

"What's done is done. Elijah is back and we need to figure out how to make that an advantage." Stefan said patiently even as Damon rolled his eyes.

Damon crossed the room and poured himself a drink, "I don't think so. I'm changing my mind and breaking my promise. I'm not touching this particular dilemma. This is all Elena. It's for her to figure out how Elijah fits into this equation because it was her plan to bring him back in the first place. Or are you telling me the dear girl has finally realized she's in over her head?"

"Give her a break, Damon," Stefan said wearily, knowing Damon didn't mean it. It wasn't the first time that Damon threw up his defense mechanisms in his face. But it did surprise Stefan that Damon wasn't trying hard enough to disguise what he was doing. For the first time in years, Stefan saw that his brother was tired and is fighting a losing battle with his emotions for Elena.

"With what you put her through, this was bound to happen." Stefan continued, taking a shot to wear down Damon a bit more, force out the honesty from him, "She's emotional and thought she was doing something that could help. You were threatening to sacrifice people she loves, Damon, and she's not the type to take that sitting down. She's not selfish."

"Not like me, you mean? I have to hand it t you…you astound me with how well you know her, Stefan," Damon said in a patronizing voice, refusing to take the bait, "I'm beginning to feel jealous because I thought I had her all figured out. Oh, well. But little brother, you know that this isn't a game where you get points for effort. Best intentions won't get you anywhere if you suddenly start asking for help from people most likely to stab you in the back. You have to admit it's stupid that Elena didn't learn from the first time she tried to bargain with Elijah. How many times do we have to explain the concept of 'this will never end well' to her before she gets it through her thick skull?"

"We don't have a choice but to deal with Elijah. I'm not asking you to trust him, Damon. But we need to find a way to make this work," Stefan said standing up but keeping his distance from Damon, restraining his frustration, willing his brother to cooperate, "If we keep pushing Elena, she's just going to sneak around and make a deal with him. It might as well happen under our watch."

"The things she can make you do with her tears," Damon said shaking his head in disgust, "Find yourself some self-respect, Stefan, and learn to say no. I'm sure there are some brochures on how to do it in case you get stuck."

"Alright, then what do you propose we do? Strap her down in a chair? Lock her in her room?" Stefan countered in annoyance, frustrated with the effort of getting a real answer from Damon.

"Guilt," Damon said giving in with a quiet sigh after a minute, suddenly morose, leaning in once more over the fire, his eyes unfocused as he stared into it, "Use guilt. She responds to that. Going to Elijah means she signs the death warrants of so many people in her life since his new deal involves saving just one person. Throw her words to her face—we find another way, that's what you say. The blood will be on her hands, blah, blah and blah."

Stefan watched Damon's shoulders slump almost imperceptibly in defeat, the fight draining him more than he would let on. He knew what kinds of horrors Damon was imagining in his head because he saw the same things. He knew that his brother was thinking of the many ways Elena could die and the horror of not being able to stop it. Desperation was something they shared in this situation but only Damon was impulsive enough to come up with things that could do more harm than good.

"Why do you insist on hurting her?" Stefan said gravely, "Even if she falls into the darkness, she won't ever be a match for you. She's not made for that and you know it, Damon. Even if you break her, she will mend and when she does, she won't be with you…or me. I've accepted that. You should start coming to terms with that too."

Damon's lips curled into a smile, bittersweet and full of longing, "I never saw Elena as anything other than an impossible dream. I'm not trying to manipulate her into falling from grace to even things out between us. Even if it sounds like a lie, Stefan, I want Elena to be happy. I know how much I'm hurting her and that there's a part of her that will never be the same even after everything is said and done."

"But I'm standing by what I said," Damon continued, "I'll make the life and death decisions, force them on her if I have to because I can only get her that happy ending if she's actually alive to see it. But that's not what this is about, is it, Stefan? You've known I was bluffing the moment I started talking so this seems to be a ploy to talk about something else that's weighing on you. It's about Elena and how fragile you're painting her out to be. She's much stronger than what you give her credit for so why are you so afraid of seeing her less angelic? Is that fear I see, dear brother?"

"What are you talking about, Damon?" Stefan said steadily, trying to contain the tremor in his voice, the uncertainty that Damon would pounce on.

"You're afraid she'll turn out like Katherine," Damon answered with a wave of his hand, "Isn't this how we started out before? Just like the playful and innocent Katherine who turned into a living nightmare and the world's best heartbreaker."

"She's not Katherine," Stefan answered automatically, but lacking the conviction that Damon knew wasn't really there.

"Say it a hundred times more…maybe you'll believe it then," Damon threw at him, "You're not worried about damaging Elena. You're afraid you're turning her into Katherine. If it's any consolation, Stefan, you're still top choice for either of them, so I wouldn't worry too much."

Stefan moved with such speed that Damon was knocked off his feet when they collided. "You don't know what you're talking about, Damon." Stefan growled, crouching in a defensive stance, waiting for the other to retaliate.

Damon stood up in one fluid motion with his eyes trained on Stefan, taunting his brother, "Your actions say otherwise, Stefan. And here I thought you were over Katherine."

"Don't make this into something it's not, Damon," Stefan said steely.

"And what if I do, Stefan?" Damon said grinning, itching for a fight, provoking his brother, "What are you going to do about it?"

Fueled by anger, Stefan moved to strike but Damon was ready this time and instead turned the tables, pushing Stefan against the wall, one hand tight around his neck. "Get it together, Stefan. If you're weak enough to be goaded into a fight and into doubting that Elena or your feelings for her, we're in deeper trouble than I thought. Elena will never be Katherine for the simple reason that she's actually capable of love. Oh, make no mistake, Elena is dangerous, capable of deception, cunning and manipulation but her intentions will always be good. How can she forgive someone like me if she weren't Elena?"

"What is going on here?" Elena said in surprise as she ran towards Damon to pull back his arm, "Let him go!"

Damon rolled his eyes and dropped Stefan unceremoniously, "At the risk of sounding like a petulant child—he started it. It's not my fault I'm stronger."

Elena glared at Damon as she gathered Stefan in his arms, "Are you okay?"

Stefan nodded but remained silent, eyeing his brother as he stood up, wondering how much Elena heard from their conversation. He watched Elena give Damon a look of disapproval coupled with one of exasperation. Stefan laughed bitterly inside, an unexpected wave of jealousy hitting him as he realized that Elena never showed that many emotions towards him. But those emotions faded as quickly as they had come, somehow knowing he had no right to them believing that he was right—he was always on borrowed time with Elena. Sooner or later she would realize this and he needed to get used to being in the shadows. The night he got stuck in the tomb with Katherine was only the beginning…he just didn't think the end would come so soon.

"Oh, Stefan, such a coward…so I'll ask what you're obviously dying to find out," Damon said interrupting Stefan's thoughts, "Elena, how much of that did you hear?"

Elena took a deep breath and faced them calmly, "Sit down…both of you."

Damon opened his mouth to protest but a look from Elena made him obey and he raised his hands in surrender then proceeded to sit down beside Stefan. Elena paced in front of them until Damon raised his eyebrows at her and made a ticking sound.

"Anytime today, Elena, we still have a dagger to put back in Elijah's chest," Damon said before turning to Stefan, "Yes, I changed my mind again. Actually I never did…I was just kidding the first time. You know, lighten the mood and all since Stefan was all broody. He's more fun when he's unsettled."

"I know," Elena began, ignoring Damon's rambling, "that Stefan is afraid I'll end up like Katherine. I've known that since the day she showed up and threw everything out of balance. And everything I'm doing until this point is to prove that it's not going to happen. It hurts to think you don't trust me, Stefan, but I understand. I just need you to try and see me not her. Please."

Stefan nodded silently, lowering his head, avoiding Elena's eyes. Damon rolled his eyes and looked at Elena directly, "I don't think you're going to be Katherine. You don't need to remind me. Are we done with the lecture?"

"You scare me." Elena said to Damon's surprise, making him lean back in the couch.

"I'm sitting down in the most non-threatening way I know how. My face is not all vamped out and I'm speaking in a calm, peaceful voice. So unless you're afraid of the clothes I'm wearing, you're going to have to elaborate." Damon said, his eyes narrowed down to slits.

"I'm afraid of you, Damon," Elena said quietly as she sat down on the coffee table, squarely in front of him, "For some reason, you see me…the real me. You have the capacity to break me in ways I'll never recover from because you know me, even better than anyone ever thought you would. And you're a reckless person that you don't even what you're doing until after the damage has been done. You're a train wreck waiting to happen and I'm always stupidly standing in your way, finding infinite reasons to forgive you if only to keep you in my life."

"It's a good thing that I know how your mind cranks out those funny little ideas of yours," Damon said, trying to keep his voice neutral, "It helps me stop you from doing stupid things and be one step ahead of you."

"No, Damon, it's not," Elena said, "Because I need you beside me. You scare me senseless because I'm watching you walk ahead of me and you make all these insane choice just so I don't have to. And every single time I feel you're going to die."

"It's a risk I choose to take. Besides, if it goes down like that, you'll cry a little then say a few nice words after and you'll move on. Big deal," Damon said with a shrug, trying to appear nonchalant.

"Then you're going to have to teach me how to live without breathing," Elena said softly as she stared at her hands, "I need to be able to deal with that suffocating feeling for every second of my life that I'll get at your expense. I need to know how to forget the feeling that I'm drowning and I can't break the surface even as my lungs collapse in on me. Because that's what it feels like when I have nightmares of seeing you on the ground, eyes open blankly staring up in the sky and absolutely nothing left in you. I can't face the day when I'll look into your eyes and you won't see me anymore."

"I've fought so hard," Elena continued, her voice shaking as she resolutely stared down, not wanting to see Stefan's reaction or Damon's for that matter, "to keep you in my life that I've blocked out everything you did to push me away, every single act you did to hurt me and make me want to hate you. Please, Damon, don't throw that in my face."

Damon stared at her, his jaw clenched tightly with indecision. He reached out and placed a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"Make your deal," Damon said to Elena, his voice thick with emotion, wishing not for the first time that he could just run away with her and not put her through all of this, "Tell Elijah you've made your choice. Tell him that you're willing to die for Jeremy. Bring him here and we'll go for another round of duplicity. It should buy us some time at least."

"No," Stefan interrupted, "Elijah will see through the lie. Tell him the truth…who you really chose, Elena. He needs to trust that you're serious about this and you'll follow through on the deal. It's okay. I'm okay."

"I'm sorry, Stefan," Elena said softly as she nodded in agreement, her eyes full of pain and apology, knowing that Stefan understood fully the words she said so desperately to Damon, a confession she wished she never had to make but now had no doubt was the right thing to do. There was no turning back now. They danced around the truth for so long, it was time to let the pieces fall where they may.

"I'm sorry, did I miss a step?" Damon said, completely confused, "It's not Jeremy?"

"No," Stefan said clapping his brother on the shoulder, a trace of sadness in his tone, knowing the moment had come. He has lost Elena.

"It's you, Damon. In case you didn't notice, my girlfriend just told you she's in love with you."