Hey guys. Happy new year. Here's chapter three of Xanna. Pretty funny. Hope you like it.

It was around noon today. Xanna was still asleep in the guest bed. Yatana came into the room to wake her up. "Wake up, Xanna." Xanna tried to shoo her away then rolled over. But that didn't make Yatana give up. She shook Xanna a little bit. When that didn't work, she just pulled off her covers. "Ah! Cold!" Xanna sat up and held herself for warmth, even though she had long pajamas that covered her whole body. "Thank goodness."

"Thank goodness what?"

"You've been asleep for a while."

"What time is it?"

"Noon."

"I only went to sleep at eight in the morning."

"You've been asleep since eight in the morning YESTERDAY."

"I've been asleep for twenty-eight hours?"

"Yeah, I was starting to worry that you were in a coma."

"That's weird."

"Me worrying about you is weird?"

"No. What's weird is usually I sleep longer." Yatana's eyes widened. "Longer???"

"Yep." Xanna yawned. Yatana shook her head. "Nevermind. Just get up, shower's across the hall if you want to use it. I washed the clothes you were wearing yesterday just in case you did. There right here on the dresser."

'I think she's trying to give you a hint.' Xanna stretched. And because she stretched, she smelled herself. 'Geez, I smell.'

'No duh, Sherlock. It's probably because you've gone a whole week without showering.' Xanna got out of the bed and stretched a little more. "I'm gonna go wake up the boys, then I'm going downstairs to make breakfast, okay?"

"'Kay. I'm gonna shower. Thank you for the wake up call, Miss Yatana."

"No problem, dear." She giggled. After that, she left the room to wake up Akazil and Makaza. 'She's nice.'

'And you're smelly. Now go take a shower.'

'I'm goin'. I'm goin'.' Xanna yawned. Xanna grabbed her clothes that were on the dresser and headed for the shower. When she got there, she turned on the water, got undressed and happily hopped in the shower. "Ah. Nice hot shower." She said quietly to herself. 'Which means no more smelly butt! Hooray!' Xanna rolled her eyes at Ixxy. 'Shut up so I can enjoy this shower in peace.'

'Fine. Think I'll take a shower myself.' Ixxy went somewhere else in Xanna's mind. Xanna heard running water and singing. She quietly laughed at Ixxy's silliness.

Yatana went to the boys' room. In their room, they had a bunk bed. Akazil slept on the bottom bunk while Makaza slept on the top. "Wake up boys." She heard 'meh's from them. "Fine, be that way." She walked over to the boys and pulled off their covers like she had done to Xanna. Akazil sat up; Makaza fell off of his bunk. He landed with a very loud thud. Yatana looked down at her son. "Are you okay, Makaza?" Another 'meh'. "Good." Makaza sat up. "Now that you two are awake, I'm going downstairs to make breakfast."

"'Kay." Both of the boys said, half awake. Yatana turned around to leave the room. "I'll see you boys downstairs in a bit. Oh, and don't go to the bathroom just yet because Xanna is taking a shower."

"'Kay." They said again, still half asleep. Yatana went downstairs after saying that. Right after she left, Akazil and Makaza headed for the bathroom. They were half asleep so they didn't really pay attention to what their mother had said. Both of them stood at the bathroom door. They gave each other a 'Me first' look. And, for some reason, a western tune was playing in the background. Then both of them reached for the doorknob.

'That was such a nice shower.' Xanna thought as she dried herself off. Ixxy nodded in agreement, which was really rare. Xanna looked at the door when she thought she heard something on the other side. She didn't look at it for too long because she figured she was just being paranoid. But, of course, she wasn't. She found that out when Akazil came into the bathroom, followed by Makaza. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!" Xanna squealed and tried to wrap herself in her towel. 'Ever heard of 'Knock first'?!' The boys were fully awake when they saw Xanna standing there naked. "Ah! Sorry Xanna!" Akazil said and covered his eyes. "Awesome!" Makaza said as he stared at Xanna, drooling as he did. Akazil pulled himself and his brother out of the bathroom. "Wait, I still wanna- Ow!!! My Fingers!" Akazil reopened the door so his brother could retrieve his fingers. When he reopened the door, he and Makaza saw that Xanna had wrapped herself in the towel. She looked very angry.
Yatana was serving waffles, sausage and egg omelets today. Makthra grabbed a sausage and ate it as he read his newspaper. "Mmm. You make the finest food there is, Yatana." Yatana smiled at her husband and kissed him on the cheek. "YOU PERVERTS!!!" They heard Xanna yell. A moment later, they saw their sons come flying down the stairs. They stared at them as they laid on the ground. "Akazil? Makaza?" They said. The boys groaned. "What happened?" Yatana and Makthra asked. "Pain. Pain happened. Lots and lots of pain." Akazil answered. Makthra and Yatana stared at each other, they gave each other a 'What the hell just happened?' look. Then they looked at their unconscious sons. They both had red marks on their faces. The marks were hand shaped.
A little while later, Xanna came down for some breakfast. It was actually lunch but it was her breakfast. By this point, Akazil and Makaza were conscious again, but just barely. "Morning everyone."

"Morning." Makthra and Yatana said. Akazil and Makaza didn't say anything. They didn't even look at Xanna. They just ate their food. 'Think they learned their lesson?'

'Well, you made them go flying down the stairs… I'm sure they learned their lesson to knock.'

After eating their breakfast-lunch, Xanna went back upstairs to put on her armor. 'Be careful. The pervs might 'accidentally' walk in on you again.' Xanna rolled her eyes as she put on her boots. 'I'm sure it won't happen again…maybe…I don't know. My point being, it won't happen again.'

'That made perfect sense.'

'Thank you.' Ixxy smacked her forehead. 'Damn it, I hate you so much.'

'I love you too!' Xanna told Ixxy and mentally gave her a hug. 'It burns!' The hug was interrupted by a knock on the door. 'Phew. Saved by a rapist… Wait…' Xanna ignored Ixxy, put on her gloves and opened the door. It was Akazil. And Makaza. "Hey guys. What's up?"

"Um… We just wanted to say sorry for walking in on you earlier. We were half asleep."

'Half asleep but still awake enough to wanna rape.' Xanna taped Ixxy's mouth shut and continued to talk to the guys. "It's fine. Sorry for…uh…making you go unconscious." Xanna said and rubbed the back of her head. 'Even though it wasn't really my fault.' Xanna thought and looked at Ixxy who was trying to get the duct tape off her mouth. "It's fi-" Akazil was saying. "It's fine, hunny. I forgive you!" Makaza said and hugged Xanna. Akazil gave his brother the dagger look again. "Ma…ka…za…crushing…lungs." Makaza loosened up on the hug. "Sorry. Hey, wanna go questing with me?"

"You- I was gonna ask her that!"

"Ya snooze, ya lose." Akazil's eye was starting to twitch. By this point, Ixxy was able to get the tape off her mouth. 'Being fought over by rapists… Didn't see that coming.' Xanna gave her a look. 'No, really, I didn't.'

"So do you wanna quest with me?" Makaza asked again. "No! Quest with me, Xanna!"

"No, me!"

"No, me!" The boys started to wrestle. 'Just back away slowly…'

"How 'bout we quest together?" The boys paused in their fight. The way they froze was kind of funny. Makaza was sitting on Akazil's back, about to bite his foot while Akazil banged on the floor. They stood up. "Quest…together?" Akazil asked. Xanna nodded. "But he's a level five. If he comes with us, he'll be killed… On second thought, that sounds like a good idea." Makaza stared blankly at his brother. "I was thinking more along the lines of us helping Makaza with his quests."

"Oh…" - 'Damn.'

"Works for me!" Makaza said with a grin on his face. "And you, Akazil?"

"I guess…" He shrugged. "Okay. Let me finish putting on my armor and we'll get going." Xanna looked at them. Akazil was wearing blue pants and a white shirt. Makaza was wearing black shorts and a short-sleeved blue shirt. "You two should probably put on some armor too." The boys looked at themselves. "You may have a point there." Akazil said. 'Idiots. I'm surrounded by idiots.'

"I'll see you guys downstairs." Xanna said and shut the door to finish putting on her armor. When she shut the door, the boys raced to their room. Makaza was able to get in first. "Get out of there, you twerp!" Akazil said and banged on the door. "Akazil, what have I told about calling your brother a twerp?" Yatana shouted from downstairs. "Bastard!" He corrected. "That's better." Akazil sighed. 'I'm starting to think that I was adopted.'

After ten minutes of banging on the door, Makaza came out. "Geez, you aren't dressed yet? Tisk tisk." Makaza said and wagged his finger at Akazil. Akazil had an urge to bite off Makaza's finger. He replaced that urge with growling at his brother. That just made him laugh. "Better start putting on your armor. You can catch up with me and Xanna." Akazil ran past his brother and hurried up with putting on his armor. It took him a few times to get it right. He was in such a rush, he put his armor on in the wrong places the first couple of tries. 'Hope they're not gone yet.' He thought as he left the room. He walked downstairs and to the living room. He saw Xanna and Makaza sitting on the couch together watching some stupid soup opera on the T.V.
"Caron." The male blood elf said. "Yes, Jerreth?" The female blood elf said. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I love you." The male blood elf got down on one knee. "Will you marry me?"

"I can't." Caron turned away from Jerreth. "Why not?"

"Because I'm not who you think I am."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…" Caron turned back to Jerreth. "I'm your sister!" There was dramatic music playing after Caron said that. Then the camera zoomed in on Jerreth's face. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"

Makaza wrapped his arm around Xanna's shoulder. 'Must…control…rage…' Akazil repeated in his head a few times. "I think I can feel my brain rotting…" Xanna said, ignoring Makaza's arm. 'It is. I know because I'M PART OF IT!'

"Pretty romantic show, right?" Makaza said, leaning a little closer to Xanna's face. "Kinda makes a person want to-"

"Throw up?"

"I was going to say k-" Xanna's ear twitched. She turned around because she heard Akazil. "Oh, good. You're ready." She stood up. "Let's get goin'." Xanna said and headed for the front door. "Wait!" They heard Yatana yell. She came in the room with some bags. "I packed you guys some lunch."

"Thank you, Yatana"

"You're welcome." The three of them put the lunches in their bags. Yatana looked at the boys. "I want you boys to behave while you're out questing. That means no killing Makaza, Akazil. And no annoying Akazil, Makaza."

'Damn it.' They both thought. Yatana licked her hand and messed with Makaza's hair for a moment. 'It's times like this that I'm glad I'm bald.'

"Mom, my hair is fine."

"Hang on, let me just-" She continued to mess with his hair. "There." Akazil laughed at Makaza because Yatana had rubbed all of his hair down and made him look like a dork. Xanna wanted to laugh but didn't. "Can we go now?" Makaza asked, obviously irritated. "Yes, you can go." All three of them started to walk out the door. "Have fun questing!" Yatana said as she stood at the door waving to her babies and Xanna. Makthra came and stood with her at the door. Yatana sighed. "My babies are growing up."

"Yes, but not fast enough, apparently, or else they would both be married and we would have lots of grandchildren by now." Yatana ignored her husband and watched her sons walk away with Xanna.

Akazil was still laughing at Makaza's hairdo. "Grr…" He looked back to see if his mother was still in sight. When he didn't see her, he messed with his hair and spiked it up just the way he liked it. "So, what's first?" Xanna asked Makaza. "Follow me." Makaza said and grabbed Xanna's hand. They both ran for the entrance of Orgrimmar. Actually, Makaza ran for the entrance, Xanna's feet weren't even touching the ground. "Hey! Wait up!" Akazil ran after his brother and Xanna but lost sight of them. 'Damn him for being such a fast runner.'
"Makaza, where're we going?!" Xanna shouted as Makaza dragged her to wherever they were going. "You'll see."

'Good lord! He's taking you to some place where no one can hear you scream and ra-' Ixxy stopped talking when Xanna fell on the ground. She fell because Makaza had stopped running. "Ow…" - 'Why must my face always meet the ground?' Makaza helped her back up. "Sorry. You okay?" She nodded. But not too much because she now had a headache. "Good." Xanna looked around. Makaza had taken her to some part of Durotar that she hadn't seen before. It kind of looked like a beach. "Where are we?"

"We're at the beach, of course."

"Ah. Makes sense since this place looks like a beach." Makaza laughed. "So, you have some sort of quest that says you should be here?"

"Um… Yeah. That's it."

"What are we suppose to do? Kill crabs or something?" Makaza shook his head. "Well, then what are we suppose to do?"

'I think I know what he wants to do.'

'Shut up. That's not what he wants to do. He's questing, remember?'

'Mmhmm. 'Questing'. Right. You keep thinkin' that sport.' Xanna sighed mentally. 'You forced me to do this.'

'Do what?' Xanna thought of an unspeakable image. It was so horrible, it made Ixxy scream, run away crying, throw up and pass out. All at the same time. 'Geez, who knew that an image of a cute little bunny would make her scream like that?'

"Come sit with me Xanna." Makaza said as he sat down on the sand. "Okay." Xanna said and walked over to him. She sat down next to him. They sat in silence for a good thirty seconds. "So, is this what we're going to be doing for the rest of the day?" Xanna asked, not being able to stand the silence anymore. "No. I have other things in mind."

'And I know exactly what they are.' Xanna showed the bunny again. 'Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Ixxy screamed and passed out, her foot twitching a bit. 'Hmm… I should do that every time she talks.'

Akazil was running around everywhere looking for Makaza and Xanna. 'Where did that little twerp take her?' He looked up, down, left, right, behind fat guys. He looked everywhere. 'Let's see, let's see, if I were Makaza with a hot chick and I wanted her all to myself and get away from my brother, where would I take her?' Akazil thought for a moment. 'Of course!' After figuring it out, Akazil started to hunt down his brother.
Makaza and Xanna were sitting there in silence again. "Makaza?" Xanna said, trying to make conversation. "Yeah?"

"Um… What are you? Class wise, I mean."

"Oh, I'm a warlock. Like my mom."

"What about your dad?"

"Warrior. That's where Akazil got it from."

"Cool."

"What are you?"

"I'm a-"

"Wait, wait, wait. Don't tell me. Let me guess."

"O…kay." Xanna said and raised an eyebrow. Makaza looked at her from head to toe. "By the looks of the leather armor and daggers, I'd have to say that you're a…paladin!"

'How the hell?'

"Um…" Xanna said, doing her best to ignore Ixxy. "At first I thought you were a mage, then a hunter, then a priest! But then I came to the conclusion that you're a paladin."

"You're right."

"I knew it!"

"I was just kidding. I'm really a rogue."

"Damn it, I was so close."

'How is that close?'

'No clue…' Xanna shook her head to think of something else to talk about. "Hope you don't mind me asking but, how old are you?"

"Fourteen."

"That's around, like, sixteen in human years, isn't it?"

"Yep." Xanna laughed. "What's so funny?"

"You're kinda young is all. I don't know why, but that just seems to be funny to me."

"Well, how old are you?"

"Fifteen in elf years."

"And in human years?"

"Somewhere between one hundred twenty and one hundred twenty-eight." Makaza's eyes widened. Xanna laughed. "You're old."

"Not really. I'm only fifteen in elf years like I said just a second ago."

"You're still old."

"Don't make me hit you."

"Shutting up." Xanna turned her head. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"MAKAZA, YOU STUPID LITTLE TWERP!!!" They heard in the distance. "Okay, now I heard it. Time to go."

"Why? I thought we were all going to quest together."

"We are questing together. Right now, we're doing the 'Get the hell away from my brother before I die' quest."

"He's not gonna-"

"MAKAZA, I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD CHILD FROM HELL!!!!!"

"Okay, maybe we should go."

"I knew you would see it my way." Akazil was getting closer. "YOU STUPID LITTLE TWERP! YOU BASTARD CHILD! I'M GONNA ENJOY KILLING YOU!" Makaza and Xanna stood up. Akazil was closer now. 'I'm not sure if I should follow Makaza or stay here. I am very confused.'

'Well, it's either get raped and killed by a warlock or get raped and killed by a warrior. Either way you're screwed. Literally.'

'You're just a lot of help.' Xanna thought sarcastically. 'You're welcome.' Xanna would've given Ixxy a blank stare but had no time because Akazil was dangerously close now. "C'mon, let's go." Makaza said, starting to worry a little because his doom was getting closer. "Um…"

'Duck!'

'Where?' Xanna thought and tried to look for the duck. Instead she saw an enraged orc. She ducked as Akazil tackled his brother. "Ow! Akazil, that hur- OW! THAT HURTS EVEN MORE!"

"You stupid little annoying twerp. You ran off with Xanna!" Xanna tried not to look as Akazil started to punch Makaza. 'Should I do something?'

'Yes. Back away slowly and get the hell out of Durotar.'

'I don't think that's gonna get Akazil to stop hitting Makaza.'

'Oh, you meant for them… I got nothin'.'

'Like I said before, you're a lot of help.'

"Ow! Ow! OW!!! Akazil, Mom said not to-"

"She said not to kill you. She didn't say anything about hitting you!" Akazil continued to punch Makaza in his shoulder. "Um…guys?" Both of the boys looked at Xanna. "Yeah?"

"Shouldn't we be questing?"

"We are questing. Right now I'm doing the 'Beat the shit outa my stupid little brother' quest." Akazil said. He turned back to Makaza so he continue beating him but Makaza got loose and was able to tackle Akazil. "Ah!" Xanna sighed and sat down as the boys were fighting. She tried to ignore all of the 'Ow's, 'Oof's and 'You bastard's. 'Mm mm mm.' Ixxy said and shook her head. 'How long do you think it'll last?'

'Well, by the looks of it…' Ixxy was saying as she looked at the boys in the position they were this afternoon but switched. 'It could go on for quite some time.' Xanna sighed. 'Oooh. That was a cheap shot.' Ixxy said because Makaza had thrown sand in Akazil's eyes then kicked his shin. 'By the looks of it, you're enjoying their fight.'

'I am not. Left hook! Left hook, Akazil!' Ixxy cheered. Xanna gave her a blank look. 'Okay, maybe a little.'

'You should be ashamed.'

'Yes, yes I'm ashamed. I bet you ten gold that Makaza wins.'

'Now you should really be ashamed.'

'What? You scared you're gonna lose?' Xanna looked at the boys. 'Twenty gold on Akazil.'

'You're on!'

That's all for now. And I talked about the classes because I didn't really mention them in the first two chapters. Well, except for Akazil's but that was only a maybe, but now you guys know that he is a warrior.

Note: Makthra is fourty-one in orc years, Yatana is fourty-two and Akazil is fifteen.

Another note: 'You made them go flying down the stairs.' Since Ixxy and Xanna share one body, I thought it would be cool if they switched every now and then. But only if Xanna will let Ixxy take control. And when she does, she can easily take it back since it's really her body. So, yeah, Ixxy is the one who hit Akazil and Makaza down the stairs and made them go unconscious.

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