Here is chapter fourteen of Xanna. It's eleven pages long. Sorry if that's too short or too long for some of you, I'm trying to find a center. Until then, enjoy.

"Geez, how can someone this tiny feel like a thousand pounds?" Fëanáro asked as he and Akazil carried an unconscious Xanna, looking for a nearby bench to set her down on; after vomiting, she passed out.

The orc rolled his eyes and yanked the other half of Xanna out of Fëanáro's grip, placing her over his shoulder and walking away. "Wimp." Akazil said coolly. 'Damn! She's heavy!'

"So, you're able to carry her all by yourself?" Fëanáro asked, folding his arms over his chest with a smirk as he mentally laughed seeing Akazil in distress. Akazil straightened up quickly. "Yes." He said in a squeaky voice. "Just fine." He said quickly and began to look for a bench; also not sure how a tiny little thing like Xanna was able to feel like seven full grown male tauren. "Are you suuuuure?" Fëanáro asked, knowing the poor boy was in pain. "Yes." - 'You…asshole… Oh god, she's heavy!'

"Alright." Fëanáro shrugged, still smirking as he walked ahead of Akazil to look for a bench. And; just to be a jerk; he pretended to yawn and slowly stretched out his arms, then his legs and back. Akazil wanted to beat the crap out of him so much at that moment, but he had to take care of his beloved Xanna first because loving and caring about someone you love should always come before your deep hatred for someone else. But at that moment, Akazil was debating a little bit. 'Caring for my one true love? Or kill a person I hate more than my own brother?' He pondered this for a moment; until a certain little tauren in disguise as a blood elf disguised as a draenei started to squirm.

"No, it'sh my monkey!" Xanna yelled, jumping out of Akazil's grip and landing flat on her face on the very hard cement street. "That was sho painful that I have nothing to shay about it… Hic!"

'That was painful to just watch… And when the hell are you gonna sober up?! It was just half a pint! Damnit, you're an idiot and I hate you!'

"Xanna, are you alright?" Akazil kneeled down next to his friend to make sure she hadn't permanently damaged her brain again. She had made an okay hand sign with her right hand and hiccupped. "Preachy keen, my incredidmably smexy friend!" She said as she rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her left elbow to look at Akazil; for some reason, he had a blush.

'Illidan hates me…' Ixxy said, then began to bang her head on a wall.

And Xanna just ignored Ixxy and whatever she was doing like always. "Are you mad at me, Akky, darling? You're-hic-turning bright pink." She gasped. "I'll call you pinky! And he can be Brian!" Xanna laughed as she pointed to Fëanáro, who was looking a little clueless about the situation at the moment.

Ignoring pretty much everything around her, Xanna began to stretch out like a cat; lowering her upper half and sticking the lower half way up in the air. Some teenaged boys that were passing by whistled and began to take pictures with their phones.

"Hey, this isn't a peep show, you pervs!" Fëanáro shouted at them and stepped in front of Xanna's backside; the boys just laughed and walked away, looking at their new pictures. "Stupid hormonal teenage boys…" Fëanáro mumbled.

As he was doing this, Xanna was switching her stretch, making her front half stick up, and right in Akazil's face. The poor boy blushed so much he was in pain. Luckily Xanna went back to sticking her butt in the air, making some of the blush go away, and then he saw her slowly wagging her entire butt and smirking. "Xanna?"

"Roar!" The still extremely beyond belief drunken blood elf said playfully and pounced on the unsuspecting Akazil. "Ah, holy crap!"

"Hehe. I gooot youuu, Akky. Hic!" She smiled a little drunken person smile at him, bringing his painful blush back. "Akky, have I ever told you how-hic-cute you look?" Xanna asked as she began to gently rub Akazil's smooth, bald head; he closed his eyes because her touch felt so good. "I think it's really cute that yo-you're bald. It makesh your cute ears stick out." She said and went to finger his left ear; Akazil would've frowned at the comment, but her fingering his ear made up for it.

Without even knowing he was doing it, Akazil began to nuzzle at Xanna's hand. "Aww, it'sh a kitty!"

"Huh?" Akazil opened his eyes and saw that he was nuzzling; blushing, he quickly moved his head away as far as he could from Xanna's oh so soft hand. "Aww, did the kitty get shy?" Xanna giggled and began to pet Akazil's head like he was an adorable cute baby kitten. Akazil was doing his damnedest to not nuzzle again, he felt like he was taking advantage of Xanna because she was still drunk.

"Ahem!" A jealous Fëanáro said to get Xanna's attention. "Xanna, you're still drunk and have no idea what you're doing or saying, so why don't we go lay you down on a bench?"

"Too lazy!" Xanna whined. "Akazil, carry me!" She demanded, then nuzzled at his neck so he would do as she said. "U-uh, um…" Akazil stammered, now trying to fight back "funny" feelings. "I-I-"

"I'll carry you, Xanna." Fëanáro said, secretly hiding a groan because he knew what was to come once he picked her up. "You're hired! You start now because I am too-hic-damn lazy to even get off of, Akky. Even though he's got a flash light poking me…"

'Uh, sport? That's not a flash light. It's his-'

"Here!" Akazil said quickly, getting up and giving Xanna to Fëanáro and turning away as quickly as he spoke. "Let's go find her a bench."

"On it!" Fëanáro said in a squeaky voice like Akazil had done a few moments ago as Xanna got comfortable and began to nuzzle at his neck; he would've been enjoying it had it not been that she was so heavy. 'How the hell is she this freakin' heavy?!'

"Thank you for carrying me, Fëan." Xanna said sweetly, her eyes closed as she smiled and nuzzled at the elf's neck. "No…problem…Xanna…"

'He means "lard ass"…lard ass.'

'Sh-hic-ut up.' Xanna said and completely bitch smacked Ixxy to the other side of her mind. 'Ow! That hurt, you bitch!'

'It was suppose to, it's called bein' bitch slapped, bitch.'

'Grr!!!' Ixxy's eyes caught fire, then she pulled a giant axe out of nowhere and ran for Xanna; when she was about five feet away, she jumped into the air and prepared to strike the annoying elf down, but was stopped by a force field. 'Unh…uh…' Ixxy groaned as she slowly; and squeakily; slid down the force field.

'Heh heh heh…'

'B-bitch…'

'I learned from the-hic-best.' Xanna smirked evilly at Ixxy, then stuck her tongue out when she looked up. 'Ugh…' Ixxy rested her head, thinking of ways to get back at Xanna for pulling such a trick, and not admitting that that was a pretty smart and wicked move she pulled.

A young pale, blonde haired, freckled boy was playing fetch with his dog just outside the Stormwind City gates. "Fetch, boy!" He yelled to his dog as he threw the dog's shiny red rubber ball. "Go get it, boy! Go on! Go get it!"

The dog arfed, turned around, ran into a tree, shook his head and barked again and ran after the wonderful rubber thingy of magical wonderness. When he was right next to it, he looked around to keep looking for it; he could smell it but couldn't see it. "He's such a dumb mutt, but how I love him so." The dog's owner mumbled to himself. "Bark bark!" The dog said as he looked in some bushes for the ball, then looked in the spot right next to the ball, behind a tree, under a nearby Forest Spider's butt, under his butt, next to the ball again, gave up for a minute, then finally found the ball, picked it up, ran into a tree, and brought it back to his owner. "Good boy!" The young lad said as he kneeled down to retrieve the slobber covered ball and to pet his dog.

The dog drooled and grinned like a very happy doggy and barked for his ball. "Wanna catch it again? Wanna catch it again, boy?" The freckled teen was speaking baby talk to his beloved mutt. It barked, licked his face and began to jump up and down. The boy jumped up and began to motion the ball quickly in the air. "Ya want it? Ya want it?" He teased the dog, making it bark even louder. "Who wants it? Do you want it? Is that who wants it, boy? Do you want the ball?"

The dog was now jumping so high they came face to face when he came up and barking madly; if the young blonde could speak dog, he'd probably be hearing "Ball! Ball! Gimme the ball! Ball! Ball! Gimme the damn ball before I piss and chew on your shoes and blame it on the cat again!"; although that last one was something the boy had done himself, not that anyone besides him, his dog, the cat, his shoes, and his therapist knew that.

The dog was now barking and whimpering for the whole forest to hear, bringing the boy out of his little day dream about what he would be hearing if he spoke dog. "Go get the ball!" He yelled and threw the ball as far as he could. The dog did a spinning back flip to turn itself around to go get his ball; he was so determined to get it this time, he didn't even run into a tree.

"Ah, he's such a cute mutt." The boy said to himself as he watched his dog chase the still flying ball. "Crap, threw it too hard." He began to chase after the dog and ball. "Wait up, boy!" The blonde yelled, but the dog didn't stop, he was going to get the ball, even if it meant not listening to his master and running into trees.

But a person was the thing the dog had run into; a short cloaked person had stopped the ball with its foot when it had landed, making the dog slide at his butt on the grass as he tried to halt.

The dog looked frightened as he stared at the cloaked person, glancing every now and then at the ball. The person just stared down at it for a moment, waiting for his master to show up.

"Thanks for stoppin' him, mister. Can we have the ball back?" The boy panted, his hands on his knees.

The cloaked person looked down at the ball at his feet, just about three or four feet from the dog and boy; he bent down slowly, picked it up and began to toss it up and down in his hand, thankful he had gloves on because it was filthy.

He looked at the dog; it was looking at it long fully while his master tried to catch his breath.

"Fetch, mutt." And then the cloaked man threw the ball harder than the boy had thrown it just a minute ago. 'It should land right on the spot…'

The dog barked, then walked carefully around the short and scary man and began to chase after the ball. The boy stayed where he was to stare at the man for a moment, trying to see his face.

"You better go get him before one of those spiders does first, runt." He said in a slightly aggressive tone. "Uh, right. Thanks, I think…" The boy said, sounding confused and ran off after the dog.

The cloaked man watched the boy run after his dog to get the dumb ball; all the while, grinning to himself.

The dog barked and barked as he chased the ball, his master right behind him.

"Whoa!" He yelled as he tripped over his dog, flying threw the air a bit and landing upside down; his back on something soft, but cold. "Ow…" He rubbed his head sitting up, staring at his dog. "What's wrong, boy? Why'd ya stop?"

The dog growled and showed his teeth to the reason why, puzzling the boy, until he looked at the thing as well. "What the hell?…"

He saw that the ball had landed on giant nail marks of some sort. "Those aren't any nail markin"s I've ever seen." He said as was about to scoot closer to them when he felt something weird and kind of gooey on the back of his overalls. He reached around to grab some and looked at it; it was green, slimy and smelled very bad. "Ick!" He shook it off of his hand and turned around to see what the slime was coming from.

It was spider venom dripping from a dead Forest Spider's fangs. "Holy cow!" He said, jumping away from the body.

His dog walked over to it, sniffed it, then growled and barked viciously at it like he had been doing at the nail markings.

The boy knew what was going on; sort of. So he pulled out a glove, quickly put it on and grabbed his dog's old ball. "C'mon, boy! We gotta go warn everyone!"

Fëanáro was still carrying Xanna, and having a hard time doing so because she wouldn't stop squirming and waving at random people and messing with his armor. "It's so shiny, I just wanna-hic-poke it." Xanna said, poking Fëanáro's armor. He was doing his best to just ignore it. 'The things I do for girls…'

Xanna put herself in a position that made her legs wrap around Fëanáro's waist and forcing him to grab her butt to keep her from falling on it. "Xanna, what are you doing?" He asked, blushing. "I don't know…" She said, slowly leaning backwards. "Whee!"

"Xanna!" Fëanáro yelled, quickly grabbing the front of Xanna's legs as she hung upside down in front of him as they walked. "The sky is now the ground and the ground is now the sky!"

"Ugh, Xanna, you are never allowed to drink again!" Fëanáro said, having a much harder time carrying her. "Okie dokie, hot and smokey."

'The hell does that mean?' Ixxy asked while she assembled her own blow torch. "Whee!"

'Stop wheein'!' Ixxy yelled and went back to her work. Xanna just walked over, pulled out a megaphone, turned it on and cleared her throat. 'WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' She yelled as loud as she could with the megaphone into Ixxy's ear; the shock and loud sound made her fly to the other side of her mind. Xanna smiled happily and went back to doing her own drunken business. "~Tra la la la la la~" She said as she slowly slipped out of Fëanáro's grip, now lying on her stomach on the cold hard ground.

Fëanáro sighed, turned around and began to drag her by her hooves. "You know, if you weren't so cute, I probably wouldn't be doing this."

Xanna flipped herself over to look at him, crossing his arms in the process. "And if you weren't so cute, then you wouldn't be cute!" She said defensively and folded her arms over her chest.

This statement made Ixxy bang her head on her invention. 'Damnit, I hate you!'

'I love monkeys too! We should hang out.' Xanna said, then began to randomly sing. "~Tra la la la la~ ~Blah blah blah~ ~I don't know how this song goes!~"

"She doesn't drink often, does she?" Fëanáro whispered to Akazil. "No. I think this is her first time."

"Oh-my-god…" Xanna said, sitting up as Fëanáro dragged her. "What is it, Xanna?" Akazil asked. "You…have…a…a…a-!"

"I have a what?"

"A hot backside." Xanna smirked and winked at Akazil; he blushed and turned away. "…Yeah. She is never drinking beer again."

"~Tra la la la la la~" Xanna said, laying back down. "…Ever."

'For once, I agree with the "stud".'

"The Horde are attacking! The Horde are attacking!" Someone running through the gates yelled for all to hear. Fëanáro dropped Xanna's legs and pretended to act dumb with Akazil. "Horde? What? Where? I don't see 'em."

"Yeah!" Some random townsman yelled. "Where are these Horde?! How do you know they're attacking?! You're just a kid!"

"I know where they are!" Xanna said, standing up. "Where?!"

"Well, I'm a-"

"She's drunk!" Fëanáro said as he and Akazil covered Xanna's mouth. "Yeah, she has know idea what she's saying. There was this…party! Yeah, and she got a little drunk and she just has absolutely no idea what she's saying. Sorry about the false alarm."

"Yeah, just ignore her."

"You dumb kids! Always sayin' crap that isn't real! Back in my day, we always told the truth!" An old man yelled, his left back over his hip as he was hunched over and walking with his cane. "Lyin' little scoundrel!" He said and poked the young boy with this cane. "But, Grampa, I am telling' the truth! Look!" He said, pulling something out of his pocket; it was a red rubber ball. "A ball?… How does that tell us we're being attacked by the Horde?"

"It-"

"Dumb kid! Let's go everybody!" Another townsman said. "Wait!" A guard yelled. "Let the lad explain himself!"

Everyone sighed and paid attention to the teen. "How does the ball tell us we are being attacked? And why do you think we are in the first place?"

"I was playing fetch with my dog, Barky." He said, addressing his dog that had been standing next to him this whole time. "And I threw the ball really hard and it landed next to this weird cloaked guy and then he threw it and it landed on these weird nail marks. And there was a dead spider near it!"

"Someone could have just been killing a spider and made nail marks in the ground!" Another random person yelled. "But the marks were way too big to be human! Or even any of the other Alliance races! And this was my dog's favorite ball! Now he won't touch it because it has the Horde's scent on it! Just look!" He said and put the ball in front of his dog's face; the dog growled viciously and showed its teeth, everyone gasped.

"Good god, a dog that won't touch its own ball?! This is serious!" The guard said. "And if you still don't believe me, I can show you the marks myself!"

"No need boy! You've proven yourself enough!" The guard turned to all of the townspeople. "Everyone, there are Horde on the loose in the city! We must hunt them down before they kill us all!"

"Does this mean we get to use our pitchforks and torches?!" A guy way in the back of the group yelled. "Good god, yes! How would we be an angry mob without them?!" The guard answered. "Now everyone, search for the Horde! Kill on sight if you have to!"

"DEATH TO THE HORDE!!!" The whole town shouted as they randomly pulled out pitchforks and torches. They all cheered and ran around the city looking for the Horde bastards.

"…We better find the rest of your group before the whole freakin' city does." Fëanáro told Akazil. "Yeah, but where are they? We lost them hours ago, remember?"

Xanna started to talk under their hands. "My nah hair da far." She said, trying to sound smart and helpful.

'How would you-… Well, I do remember where they are.'

The boys removed their hands from Xanna's mouth. "What was that, Xanna?" Fëanáro asked. "I know where they are!"

"Where, Xanna?!" Akazil said, sounding worried. "I need to find Makaza! If he gets killed, Mom's gonna kill me! Besides, I'm the only one that's allowed to kill him."

"No you are-" Xanna was saying until Akazil grabbed her shoulders and began to shake her. "Where are they, Xanna?! Stay focused! This is life or death here!"

"…You're cute." Xanna smiled at Akazil, then kissed his nose, making his mind go blank.

''Bout time to put this baby to some use.' Ixxy said, pulling out her giant blow torch. Then she put on sunglasses and started to smoke a cigar and cocked it.

Fëanáro gently removed Akazil's hands from Xanna's shoulders; Akazil was kind of frozen at the moment because Xanna had kissed him; and turned her around to face him. "Xanna, I know you're still a bit drunk, but please, tell me where my sister is."

"Oh, Soph and Son got stuck in a closet at a hippy convention. And Mister Gnomenmire chased Cosmo into a spa. And Gizzy went into the Alliance library. Oh! And Kad chased after Moki the Loki and Makky the brother of Akky when they ran off to go find boobies. And Deth wandered off on her own."

"My sister's in a closet?! With Sonya?!"

"Heh heh heh… Bet she'll be even popular with the boys if they found out she was in the closet." Xanna snickered.

'…You've been hanging out with Makaza too much…' Ixxy sighed. 'I knew I should've taken over your body when you both started to talk about your outfit and how girls dress these days. Oh, and there was the blonde haired girl going to the cleaners joke…'

"We gotta go find your friends and mine! C'mon!" Fëanáro said, grabbing Xanna's hand and pulling her around a corner. "Fëan, you could at least take me out on a date before pulling me behind corners!"

"I will later! And this is just a short cut!"

"Short…cut… We're forgetting, Akky." Xanna said, making Fëanáro come to a halt. He quickly turned around, grabbed the orc's hand and began to run down the ally again. "Firs stop; hippy convention!"

"Okay, first off; we are not a hippies . Second; you're not allowed in here anymore. Not after what you did last year. No one can eat celery the same way ever again because of that, man!" A night elf hippy was tell Fëanáro. "But we need to get in! My sister and friend are in there! And I really need to find them!"

"No can do, man. Just not gonna happen. So you can just leave."

"What about us? We've never been here or done anything bad to vegetables. Can we go in?"

"Sure, man. Have fun. And no crazy stunts!" The hippy yelled as he let Akazil and Xanna walk past him; and while Fëanáro was sneaking around behind him. "As for you-" He said when he turned back around. "Guess he went out to go do more things to that celery. Hmph!" He said and then took a bite of his carrot.

"Sophie! Sonya! Where are you?" Fëanáro shouted through the crowd of hippies. "Smophie! Fonda! Where are youuuuu?!" Xanna shouted, now over Akazil's shoulder because some hippies had invited her to their "happy" circle; he knew it was bad because they were all wearing towels and had that little glint that his brother and Mokoki get when they talked about the time he and Makaza walked in and saw Xanna naked in their eyes.

"Wait!" Fëanáro said, his left ear twitching. "Do you hear that?"

Akazil and Xanna tried to hear, but heard nothing. "No." They said, Xanna ending hers with a hiccup. "Right, you don't have elf ears right now. Well, this way!" The worried big brother said and ran off through the crowd. "Sophie! Sophie!"

'Aww, he's so caring for his sister. I mean, just look at him! Running over tons of people just to find his sister. It's so cute and sweet…hic.' Xanna thought as she watched Fëanáro run through the crowd before Akazil turned around and followed him.

'I was taking you semi-seriously because I hate you and I'm not into mushy junk…until you hiccupped. That just ruined it.'

'Don't blame me for bein' drunk!'

'I blame you!'

'I blame you!'

'I… Hey, you're speaking more properly. I think you've gone down to just being tipsy.' Ixxy said after realizing that Xanna hadn't hiccupped uncontrollably for the past few minutes; all she got was a drunken grin out of her statement. '…I just have nothing to say to that.'

"I like my tail…" Xanna said, now just randomly leaving her chat with Ixxy and grabbing her tail with her right hand. "It's so tail-y." She grinned and began to wag it; making it hard for Akazil to walk because it was now hitting him in the face. "Xa-" He tried to say and received a mouth full of tail. "Xa-!" He said, but it happened a second time. "Xanna!" He was finally able to get out. "Yesssss, mister giant green leprechaun that is somehow able to carry me?" Xanna asked, still wagging her tail.

"Could you please stop wagging your tail? It's hitting me in the face and making it a little hard for me to walk."

"Mmm…" Xanna pondered, still wagging her tail. "Xanna!"

"Okay." She answered simply and stopped wagging her tail. "Thank you." He said; Xanna didn't reply, she was just quiet for the new few minutes after that. Akazil sighed and gave in. "Alright, you can-"

"My arms hurt…"

"Do you wanna walk?"

"No."

"Then you're going to have to put up with it."

"But they hurt real bad…" Xanna said like a sad little girl, making Akazil feel guilty. 'First her tail wagging and now this. Does nothing I do ever please her?' Akazil sighed again. "Okay, I'll-" He was saying when Xanna gasped. "There!"

"What! Where! Did you find them?!" Fëanáro came rushing to the two Horde in only half a second. 'Damn, that was fast. Guess he really cares about his sister.' Ixxy sighed and pulled out a picture. 'It makes me miss Dethiam.' She said, looking sad as she stared at the picture of Dethiam killing spiders from Duskwood. '…I'm not even gonna ask.'

"Xanna! Did you find them!"

"Oh, yeah! That way!" Xanna pointed directly in front of their little group. "Where?! All I see is people!"

"This way, good looking friend!" Xanna said, forcing all of her weight down and doing a handstand; with Akazal still holding her. "…Damn." Fëanáro said as he stared at the sight. "Just follow me." The amazingly strong and extremely short blood elf girl said as she started to walk on her hands toward the way she had been pointing. "Holy crap!" Akazil shouted. "You're not gonna drop me, are you?"

"Of course she isn't!" The night elf answered, then leaned down to whisper to Xanna. "You are gonna drop him, aren't you?"

"Here!" Xanna said, stopping in front of a door. "They're in there?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Positive? You're still a bit drunk."

"Yeah."

"Alright." Fëanáro said, reaching for the doorknob. "In there or another closet… But I am pretty sure it was this closet. I remember because I left a hole in the wall right next to it because of my horns." Xanna said, pointing to her horns with her left hand, and quickly returning it before she fell.

Fëanáro looked next to the door and saw a big hole in the wall next to it. "…I'm pretty sure this is the door." He said, his hand now on the doorknob. He took a deep breath and began to turn it. 'Please be there…'

Lol. I hope this made some of you laugh as much as it made me. And sorry if some of your brain cells died. XP