a/n: Thank you to my awesome dalekian sisters, timelord1, who_in_whovilleand aintafraidanoghosts beta babes extraordinaire. It was never my intention for this story to be about JE but more about why Rose was not there in this AU. That being said, it was important to the story to address what this AU JE was like without her there and how it affected teh Doctor. In my AU, it still took all the Children of Time to help him. There was no metacrisis and Donna will not need to be mind wiped.
Dislcaimer: I do not own Doctor Who
Chapter 2
After dropping Sarah Jane back with her son, the Doctor set the coordinates for Cardiff. The Tardis needed to recover from towing the Earth back after the Doctor and his Children of Time had successfully thwarted Davros's plan.
He was grateful that after his and Donna's visit to the Shadow Proclamation, his friends had left him a trail to find Earth. It was a welcome surprise to find all them, his defenders of the Earth; Sarah Jane, Jack and Martha gathered to help him. Looking back now, he realized it all could have gone so wrong.
It had been a shock when Jackie and Mickey had arrived carrying massive particle guns. It disturbed him to see his friends carrying such deadly weapons. Although, he was grateful when Mickey destroyed a Dalek which had suddenly appeared in front of the group screeching "Exterminate." He shuddered to think what could have happened to his friends if Mickey had not been there. The horror of Jackie's' demand to see Rose was still fresh in his mind and he might never forget the look in her eyes when she learned that no one had seen her daughter or could reach Rose on her mobile.
Even the trip to the Dalek Crucible with all his friends on board to help him, was one filled with tension and a deep-seated fear as he had flashbacks to the Time War. The Tardis was able to lock into Davros' location and with the help of everyone, they somehow managed to take control and save the day, but this was not a day where everyone lived.
A terrible weight sat upon his shoulders with the knowledge that his friends would so easily take up arms and commit acts of violence, even though it was to save and protect the rest of the universe. Davros's caustic and virulent words echoed in his mind. All he ever wanted was to teach his companions what they were capable of and provide them with an opportunity to flourish even though, he knew that they were human and ruled by their emotions. This meant that although their love was capable of great good, their love for him could also be cause for implementing horrific destruction and the events on the crucible was evidence of this.
While he confronted Davros, Mickey and Jack secretly activated a jamming device that would affect a twenty meter area around them which would prevent Dalek weaponry from functioning. It was a risk, but it was one they had decided to take to give them some advantage over Davros. When Davros revealed his reality bomb, it became clear to all of them that it must be stopped no matter the cost to them.
While the Doctor, with Donna at his side, pleaded with Davros to listen to reason, Mickey, Jack and Martha took control of the weapon to prevent its discharge while Sarah Jane and Jackie operated a force field to prevent any more Daleks from attacking them.
Finally, Donna dragged him from Davros and set him to work saving the twenty-seven planets. While he worked on sending the planets back with the help of Donna and Sarah Jane, Jack, Mickey and Martha set off an explosion which would destroy the reality bomb and create a feedback loop effect to destroy the crucible. He was horrified that once again, he was a killer. This time he wanted to die with his victims.
Of course, his Children of Time wouldn't let him die with Davros. Jackie and Donna dragged him back to the Tardis. Jackie had slapped him hard and admonished him that he had people to save including her daughter. Donna had lectured him in typical Donna fashion, grabbing him by the ear and hauling him over to the console. Once the Earth was back and he dropped off Sarah Jane, Jackie transported back to Pete's world to try and find out about Rose.
Now, sitting in Cardiff, he could do nothing but pace around the console restlessly as Donna, Jack, Martha and Mickey watched him.
"You hafta do something. Pete called and said Rose never made it back and they can't reach 'er. It's like she jumped through into a hole or somethin. Jackie's beside herself. Pete says they can't come back through and the walls to the universe are closin. If that happens, then Rose..." Mickey said, unable to finish his sentence. He was leaning against the console next to Martha staring at the Doctor's mad hair pulling and pacing.
The Doctor spun around and faced Mickey fury in his eyes. "You shouldn't have let her do this! Both of you knew how dangerous it was!"
Mickey stiffened and stormed over to confront the Doctor. "You think we didn't think about' it! The stars were goin' out for months in our universe 'fore we figured out the walls were down. The entire world was in a panic. Rose knew that you could help us and me and Pete agreed. Rose and me worked nonstop at Torchwood to get somethin' that would work and not tear our universe apar'. You don't know how bad it was. People were killin' themselves, jumpin' off of buildins. As for Rose, you know 'er. Nothin was gonna stop 'er. Nothin'."
"But why her! Why did she have to go!"
"I really gotta answer that?" Mickey responded, arms crossed, glaring at the Doctor.
"This isn't getting us anywhere. Rose is lost out there somewhere, probably in the void. We need to find her. There must be some way." Jack insisted, stepping next to Mickey.
The Doctor nodded. "Yeah, might be," he said softly, anguish in his eyes. He walked slowly over to the console and caressed it. "It'll take a while for all the tears to heal so maybe the Tardis can find some trace of her," he said, not sounding the least bit confident.
Martha, who had seemingly nonstop dealt with a melancholy and depressed Time Lord, decided enough was enough. "Doctor, don't try and pull one over on me. You think I don't see what you're doin? You've already decided she's gone. You've practically given up and just want to mope around about it. You're so busy in your misery you can't see what's around you! You have friends here, Doctor! Maybe you're ready to give up on Rose but we're not. You know, I don't know her 'cept through everything you and Jack said, but seems to me she's never given up on you." Martha let out a digusted sigh. "Is what she did any different from me walkin the world during the year that wasn't? I did that so that you could save us. Rose jumped across bloody universes to find you so you could save us. And you're gonna what, give up? No. I know what it's like to do what she did. I'm not ready to walk away from someone who was willing to do all that to save people.
Besides, I can't help but think if she cared for you anywhere near the amount you do for her, she was probably just as much a misery, except she did something you didn't. She didn't give up. While you moped around, seems like she actually did something. You know, once I may have had less than kind thoughts about her but now, I want to meet her. I think maybe she and me might have bit in common."
Donna applauded. "You tell him, Martha Jones!" She then walked over the Doctor and crossed her arms. "Now listen up spaceman, Martha's right. We're not gonna stand by here and watch you pout and mope about everything you lost and all that happened to today! So pick up your skinny little alien arse and crank up that big ole Time Lord brain and come up with a plan for finding her! I wanna meet this Rose Tyler so I can look her in the eye and tell her what a saint she must be for puttin up with your gob."
The Doctor stood up and stared at Donna with wide eyes and maybe a bit of attitude.
"Well, what you standing around for!" Donna practically shouted at him.
Jack and Mickey smirked. The Doctor inhaled and let out a big breath, ran his hand through his hair.
"All right. Rose once looked into the heart of my Tardis which means like you," he pointed to Donna, "She has traces of Huon particles along with a good dose of artron energy and of course void stuff. That might be a bit of a unique cocktail." He stopped and rubbed his face and then his eyes lit up. He gripped his hair and looked at Martha. "DNA! I need a sample of her DNA!"
Martha's eyes lit up. "Her room still about? Could she have left something behind?"
"Exactly, Martha Jones! You and Donna go back and see if you can find something; a hair brush or a tooth brush. Take it to the infirmary and see if you can extract something. I've shown you how to do that haven't I, Martha?"
"I'm on it! Come on Donna!"
Donna walked up to him and pulled him into a hug. "You can do this you big brilliant alien."
After they left, Jack and Mickey walked up to him. "Right, so now that you've sent them off, what's really goin on?" Mickey asked
The Doctor looked up into two sets of suspicious eyes. "What makes you say that," he said absent mindedly while hitting some switches on the console.
Well, "You've been standing there hitting the switch to turn the monitor off and on for the past several minutes." Jack said with raised eyebrows while Mickey smirked.
The Doctor looked up at them and sighed.
Rose felt a bitter cold envelop her and a pressure over her entire body. It felt like she was buried under tons of snow which was pressing down on her except she could sense nothing solid. She did not think her eyes were open and yet she sensed darkness and movement all around her, almost as if she were submerged in a dark pool with currents of blackness flowing around her varying in shades of black to obsidian with fluctuations of dark currents in between. There was a sense of floating and yet she was being compressed. She could not feel herself breathing but was not suffocating either. There was no scent where she was and she could hear no sound and yet, she was aware of something communicating like a muffled whisper of the wind in the back of her mind.
Memories filtered through her mind as if they were thistles dancing in the breeze. Sometimes she would capture one and observed until it was whisked away from her. Everything was disjointed and ephemeral. There was no sense of time or space, up or down in this place, where ever she was.
She had no idea how long she'd been there or where there was. Eventually, something in her mind pulled the scattered pieces of her together. A glowing ember sang a song calling her home. Bits of Rose Tyler that had been floating on this dark lonely river of nothingness began floating back to her body and coalescing into her human form. It was painful but she wanted it to happen. Something demanded she be Rose Tyler and Rose Tyler was human with memories and feelings that pulsed in her mind. A determination and will to live was beating, howling and clawing its way through the darkness. Conscious thought burst forth when the essence of Rose Tyler coalesced in this mysterious alien realm. Finally, her mind focused.
"Where am I," she mentally screamed out. Although she could feel no physical body, she trembled with fear and anger at this stifling and murky prison. Once more she howled through her mind "Where am I! Who's out there? Why are you holding me here?"
The whispers in her mind became louder and more pronounced until she could understand them.
"The being has regained consciousness. Fascinating." it whispered.
"Who are you!" she demanded, as her mind acclimated to her surroundings.
"Who are you?" it replied.
"I'm Rose Tyler. What have you done with me?"
Although she could not feel her body, she was not without some form of sensory perception. Something was moving, sliding and wisping about her.
"We are us. This is our domain. You came here." it answered mysteriously.
"No, I didn't. I was going somewhere not here," she answered, confused as she gathered more memories into herself. "Wait, I was trying to reach Earth. This isn't Earth."
"Earth. Ahhh a planetary body existing outside of here. Beyond us."
"Wait, you said I came here? Am I in the Void?" she asked.
"You are here," it answered.
Emotions roiled through her, dominated by fear. "I was moving from one universe to another. Are you the space in between?"
"We are here," it repeated.
"Great," she mentally groaned. "How do I leave here?"
"You are unlike us. You feel different like a time before we were here, before we became us," it stated.
"Please, I need to leave," she begged, and then more memories drifted into her. "Wait, you, you tried to trick me!" she said indignantly.
"The creature named Rose Tyler is fragile and was fragmented when it came to us. Its mind fascinated us and we desired to study it. A replica of its environment was created to give it time to coalesce itself back to Rose Tyler. Rose Tyler did not accept the replica of this reality that was created for it. Now, Rose Tyler must exist in an environment outside of its own. Most unfortunate. Most detrimental to its existence. Although Rose Tyler does seem capable of adapting. No corporeal being should survive and yet Rose Tyler does. It intrigues us."
"Intrigues you! I don't belong here. Let me go, I need to find the Doctor," She mentally screamed. Silence and nothingness answered her. Fear clawed its way into the crevices of her mind in attempt to overwhelm her as the horrifying perception of being totally alone in this silent and senseless place descended. "Hello? Wait! Don't go!" she begged.
"Doctor," it said. "That word is known to us. The creature Rose Tyler has entered and exited our world many times and left traces of itself with us each time it enters our domain. It echoes with this word, Doctor."
"Yes, I need him to save us from the darkness. It's destroying my universe and he can help us. Please, you must let me go. You created a whole reality around me with him in it so you must know he can help us," she asked. She heard and felt the whispering feeling again.
"We find the meaning you ascribe to Doctor a contradiction. A corporeal being who is unlike the creature Rose Tyler and yet connected through Tardis. What is Tardis."
Rose wasn't sure how to answer this. Before she could think how to communicate, one phrase popped out that reverberated among the darkness. "Bad Wolf."