a/n: I'm trying to write this unbeated so I don't have to spoil the Betas of Awesomeness. Except for a_who_in_whoville who most generously agreed to be spoiled so I could have some help with plot development. Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from Doctor Who
Chapter 3
"….Right, so now that you've sent them off, what's really goin on?" Mickey asked
"Even if we find Rose, she's been in the void. I don't think you realize how very bad that is. Even worse, we don't know how long she's been there. She won't be the same. She won't be the Rose we know," the Doctor finished sadly.
Jack's eyes turned steely. "Ya know Doctor, you're missing the point here. She's in the void and she needs help. How can you stand there and even think of not going after her." Jack paced a few steps and turned around to face the Doctor "This is the game station all over again. Just because being there might change her, make her different doesn't mean you should walk away. I'm not gonna let you do that to her."
The Doctor stood up and angrily stared at Jack. "I didn't say I would abandon her!. If it's possible to find her and that's a very big if, I will do everything I can to bring her safely out of there." The Doctor violently hit a control on the console and looked up at Jack. "You just don't understand what it means, her being in the void. She's in Hell, Jack. The Eternals called it the Howling for good reason. It's an unimaginable dark and desolate place where time doesn't flow. There is no up or down or flow of life as in any standard universe. It's stagnant. A cold dark place with no light, no warmth, no change. Imagine what that would do to a sentient being's mind if only exposed for a short few moments much less hours or days or more. Humans are fragile enough that passing through it has an effect on them. Even if we are lucky enough to find a way into the void, maneuver through it to her, retrieve her and by luck find out way out, she will be damaged. This is not going to be fairy tale happy ending."
"I understand that. Now you understand this. She is Rose Tyler, the girl who doesn't give up on anyone no matter the odds. We are going to find her and rescue her from Hell. If that's all you're capable of then fine. I'll take care of Rose. She can come back to Cardiff with me. I'm not gonna walk away from her cause she's hurt or traumatized. I'm not the same person I was when I last saw her either. I know what it's like to be different."
"Captain Jack here's right. You can't handle what's 'appened to 'er fine. Me and Jack will see to her so you can swan off with Donna or whoever else you pick up along the way." Mickey said with a disdainful look in his eyes at the Doctor's attitude.
The Doctor was furious. He practically vibrated with it and stared at Mickey with dark cold eyes. "You will not touch her much less take her from me," he said in an angry tight voice. Mickey took a step back having never seen the Doctor this angry much less had the power of the oncoming storm directed at him. Something in the Time Lord's eyes touched a primitive fear deep within him causing him to tremble ever so slightly. Before the argument could escalate Donna walked in.
"All right, what's goin on here?" she demanded, arms crossed.
"Nothing, Donna. Everything's fine," the Doctor answered, still staring coldly at Mickey.
Donna huffed. "Yeah right, and that's why you're about to rip into poor Mickey here. You wanna be all the oncoming storm, then I suggest you focus it on finding out a way to find Rose in the void. Martha's found something that she thinks she can get Rose's DNA off of but she's having a problem and needs your help. So, you gonna go help her or do I have to tell her you're too busy comparing whose is bigger with Jack and Mickey," she said glaring at the Doctor. He seemed to calm down at Donna's comments.
"I'm not comparing with anyone." He sniffed. "Time Lords don't need to. Superior biology and all." He gave Jack and Mickey one more pointed look and headed past Donna. "I'll be back in a bit. Thank you, Donna." After he stormed off, Donna looked at Jack and Mickey. They would soon learn it was better to deal with a temperamental Time Lord than an annoyed Donna Noble.
Storming down the corridor helped him work through some of his anger at Jack and Mickey. He knew they loved Rose and only wanted what was best for her, but they were in no way capable of helping her through the psychological and physical trauma caused by an indeterminate amount of time in the void. He thought of Rose in the void, trapped in an everlasting torment and the fear he was trying to deny crept it's way to the forefront of his mind followed by all the things that could happen to her, have happened or would happen. The thought process of a Time Lord mind operates on many levels of what was, is and could be and ideas and emotions were shooting through his mind at light speed. All of these thoughts and possibilities weighed him down further and he fell just a little bit more into his own dark pit of self imposed Hell.
He had to admit there was a fragment of truth in what Jack and Mickey accused him. He was scared, scared for Rose but even more scared to have to accept she was no longer his Rose. Doubt ping ponged around his mind of whether or not he could find her and what if he couldn't. What if he had to live knowing his beloved Rose was trapped in eternal Hell. A darker thought weighing heavily on him was what if he did find her. Was he strong enough to heal her and what if he couldn't. He was a coward at heart and what burned deep in his gut was he didn't want to face a Rose who was a damaged vestige of the bright shining girl he once knew. He'd much rather remember her for who she was, his brilliant pink and yellow girl with the light of time in her eyes.
Soon, the Tardis decided he had wallowed enough in fear and self pity and presented him with the door to the lab where Martha awaited him. The Doctor walked into the lab to find Martha frowning at a monitor.
"Martha, Donna said you needed help," the doctor said pulling, out his glasses and walking over to stand next to her.
"Doctor, something's off. I've tried several samples. I found hair, a tissue with a spot of blood and I scraped some samples from a toothbrush but there's something wrong. Is your equipment on the fritz?"
"Oi! My equipment is in perfect condition," he chastised her and then looked closer at the monitor. He stood for a moment stunned at what was before him. He turned to Martha, "You've tried several samples all with this result," he asked quietly.
"Yes, It almost looks like it's been contaminated," she said pensively. "I've never seen anything like it. It's almost like it's in some sort of flux or like there's a piece missing. Was Rose exhibiting any symptoms or illness while she was here?" Martha asked in full science mode.
"No," he answered softly, as he observed the computer model of Rose's DNA.
Martha turned and stared at him. "Doctor, if this isn't a contamination and the equipment is working, we have to find Rose. This is showing a mutation that could…" Martha started to say before the Doctor interrupted her.
"I know what it is," he said. He stared at it and pulled up the results of all the other samples Martha had checked. "You did a good job Martha. You're right, we definitely have to find her but not cause she's sick. Far from it I think. She's amazing. A completely and utterly amazing creature and this is why there's only one of her."
"What do you mean this is why there's only one of her?" Martha asked, a bit perturbed at his lack of information.
He turned to her. "There was no Rose Tyler in the parallel universe and I suspect there will be no Rose Tyler in any other parallel universe and there was never meant to be. I need to find something. Get Jack in here and run a sample of his DNA as well." He said as he ran out the door.
Martha ran after him. "Doctor! Why do we need Jack's DNA?" she asked, watching him race down the corridor. She heaved a sigh and shook her head. She had forgotten how frustratingly non-communicative he could be.
The words Bad Wolf reverberated throughout the icy darkness of the void almost creating ripples running through the desolate nothingness. Rose felt the creatures of the void pause almost like they were contemplating the reaction of the void.
Suddenly, she had a sense of something swirling around here. "The creature Rose Tyler is something new and something old. This concept of Bad Wolf is connected to Tardis. The creature Rose Tyler will explain Tardis"
"The Tardis is sort of this livin' ship. It's alive you see and well, it takes people through time and space. Tardis means Time and..." she started to explain but before she could finish, the void entities finished her sentence.
"Relative Dimension in Space," it practically hissed at her. "A creature of the physical world and yet existing in a dimension beyond the physical world."
"Yeah," she whispered. "If you know what a Tardis is then you must know about Time Lords."
The words Time Lords again reverberated throughout the void giving Rose an uncomfortable sensation of being pulled and yet still feeling pressure at the same time. It stopped as suddenly as it started. "The creature Rose Tyler is an anomaly. It's intelligence is that typical of the human species and yet its knowledge is greater than that of the species it declares itself to be. It has the instincts of another creature of the physical world with underlying qualities of what we were before we became us."
Rose felt something inside herself shift. She was confused but what they were saying was resonating with something inside of her although, she couldn't quite grasp it in a way that made sense to her. It was an elusive concept just dancing outside of what her conscious mind could process. "Look, I swear to you I'm human. It's just I traveled on a Tardis with a Time Lord so maybe you're picking up on that. Please, I need to get to Earth. People are countin' on me."
"The creature does not know what it is. How can it not know what it is? It feels the pull of Doctor and Tardis but it is ignorant."
"Oi! I'm not ignorant. I know who I am. Now see here, I've had just about enough of this. let me go now!" she told them and if she had been able to vocalize this, it would have been with shouting.
Rose again started to feel compressed. "Stop it!" she mentally cried out. At some subconscious level she knew the creatures of the void were probing her even though she could not feel physical touch. It was like they were running some kind of experiment to find out how she would react. Unbelievable pain coursed through her body and she mentally screamed. This mental anguish had more far reaching effects than she or the creatures of the void would know. Just when she thought she would shatter, the pain ceased. The unbearable cold was nothing compared to the mental lashing and she had just endured. If such an attack had been physical in nature, she was quite certain she would have been bloodied and broken.
"The creature Rose Tyler is strong. It resists when it should yield to out analysis and examination. We must understand. The impossible creature must explain it's perception of existence."
Rose, still mentally quivering from the assault, couldn't believe this thing was questioning her. "Why should I answer you anything more? You won't let me go and your torturing me. Is that what you lot do here, torture people who happen to fall into the Void? Is that why the Time Lords called this place Hell?" she asked shakily.
"We do not understand Hell. We are us and we exist here. You are the anomaly You came here and we must understand. If you will not explain then we must explore and test."
"No! Please no more testin. I, I'm Rose Tyler, I was born on Earth and lived my whole life there till one day I met this man, this Time Lord. Everything changed after that. I changed. He made me a better person. I traveled with him but we got separated and I've been living in a parallel world. I just want to get home and find him. I need him and I think he needs me too. Please, please I'm beggin' you. Please let me go." Rose mentally pleaded.
At first they said nothing and then there was more whispering. A new voice addressed her. "You are recognized by the designation Rose Tyler." it stated
"Yeah, that's me." Rose replied.
"Rose Tyler of Earth, human species by declaration, state your temporal signature."
"My what?" she though wearily. She felt herself slowly waning. Existence in the void and the constant barrage of questions and probing by the void creatures was wearing on her. She couldn't help but wonder how long she would last.
"State your temporal signature," it repeated
"I don't understand? You mean when I'm from? Umm twenty first century Earth is how we measure it. Don't know about you lot."
"The anomalous creature is of the planet Earth time line 4.54 standard apple realm slash castors and descendant of epsilon prime, matrix 5."
"What?" Rose thought, quite confused at this pronouncement. "No, I'm human and my parents are..."
"Rose Tyler's familial relations to parental units is not relevant," the void creatures interrupted. The whispering and movement about her became louder and more pronounced. She could feel a tangible excitement in the air. "Further analysis required. Rose Tyler seeks to return to the place of it's creation and complete it's process. Does Rose Tyler understand its purpose?"
The unbearable pressure and frigidity of the void along with exhaustion was making it difficult for Rose to follow these void things that made no sense to her. "I don't know what you mean. I've told who I am, where I come from and that I'm tryin to get back to the Doctor to stop something terrible from happenin. What more do you want?" she practically groaned.
"The anomaly is waning. It cannot exist indefinitely here. We must understand before it can be released. The anomaly is the result of the actions of what we were before we became us. Rose Tyler and other creatures like Rose Tyler would not exist without the actions of what we were before we became us. It was not created for humans but to serve what we were before we became us. The anomaly has been altered from the desired purpose. It will explain the variation and it's new function."
Rose felt the mood change. There was a subtle feeling of menace as if they were suspicious of something. "I told you, I don't know what you mean. I'm just a human who got lost. I don't have any purpose other than what I told you."
"The creature is tethered to that which it should not be. It is incapable of doing this itself. Such action requires advanced intelligence and knowledge and mastery of time. The anomaly stated it associated with Time Lord and Tardis, creatures of Gallifrey. It will explain it's association or we will examine the creature and determine the information. Rose Tyler will comply or suffer the consequences of its refusal."
"Wait, you said Gallifrey. I never told you about that. Who are you really?" Rose asked, having a moment of clarity and realizing whatever or whoever these creatures were, they had more knowledge of Time Lords than they were admitting.
"The creature Rose Tyler will comply or we will begin probing it." Rose felt them close in her. She tried to retreat into her mind away from them. She felt a vision manifest itself as if she was in a dark and dingy dungeon chained to a table while dark featureless humanoids stood around her holding sharp glistening needles.
Rose shivered. She sent out a mental plea. "Doctor, if you can hear me, please help me!"