Chapter 4: Double Dare & Death
In the very early afternoon, Marv and Harry parked their van in the driveway in front of Mitch Murphy's unoccupied house. When Harry got out of the van, he picked up the newspaper and read the headline article about the so-called death of Kevin.
"Hey, Marv, get a load of this shit," said Harry.
"What's it all about? The Chicago Chainsaw Massacre?" said Marv sarcastically.
"No, dumb-ass, it claims that a kid named Kevin McCallister died in a plane explosion," answered Harry, "Plus, the article mentions that the remaining McCallisters are spending time at an airport hotel til the end of Christmas Day."
"I see. So what does this all mean?" asked Marv.
"It means that we're gonna break into the McCallisters' empty house tonight, and steal as much valuable shit as we can," answered Harry.
"Can't we do it right now?" asked Marv.
"No, you fucking dickhead, we have to hit this one house first," angrily said Harry.
"Right now?" asked Marv.
"No, tomorrow," said Harry sarcastically, "I mean now! Let's break into this goddamn fucking house now! Then tonight, we'll hit the McCallisters.' Is that a deal?"
"I guess a deal is a deal," said Marv.
"Ok," said Harry, "Let's get in there."
Meanwhile at the hotel, the McCallisters are continuing with their leisure time at a grand hotel suite. As Uncle Frank was passing out some fried shrimp to the McCallisters, Aunt Leslie commanded Frank to put the shrimp back onto the buffet table. Fuller followed Frank, and cleverly injected some Turbo Lax into a couple of shrimp. Frank snuck up a couple of those spiked shrimps, and crammed them all in his mouth.
"Frank," called Leslie.
"Yeah," answered Frank, after swallowing the shrimp.
"We have to go pick up a bottle of champagne from the liquor store and then, we have to pick up a fruit cake from the grocery store," requested Leslie.
"Alright, we'll get them," said Frank, "Leslie, you and the kids come with me in my rental van."
Frank, Leslie, and their five kids went into the van, and drove to the liquor store. Frank and Leslie decided to leave the kids in the car, because underage kids would not be allowed in the liquor store. As Frank and Leslie went into the store, they became fascinated with all the country style decorations. As Frank was walking around the wine aisle, he had this funny feeling in his stomach that he needed to go to the bathroom right away. It was because of the shrimp he ate earlier. Frank ran to the cashier.
"Do you know where the bathroom is?" said Frank with a frustration. "I have to go number two"
"Here's your bathroom key, sir," said the cashier, "The bathroom is outside on the back of this store."
Frank ran out of the store, and then around to the bathroom. After he locked the door, he pulled his pants down, sat on the toilet, and made a diarrhea explosion. Frank suddenly felt a rectal bleeding. Twenty minutes later, he got off the toilet and tried to flush it. Suddenly, toilet water gushed out and got Frank all wet with the shitty water.
As Frank walked out of the bathroom, a truck driver mindlessly let his truck out of control that it crashed into the bathroom door, crushing Frank to death. The driver came out, and he was revealed to be a bearded convict, who escaped from a state prison.
Meanwhile inside the liquor store, Leslie was worried about Frank.
"What the hell is taking Frank so long?" yelled Leslie.
"Calm down, lady," responded the cashier, "your husband will be back at any minute."
The bearded convict came in with a stolen shotgun and shouted, "Nobody move! This a stick-up! Gimme all your fucking money, and don't do anything stupid."
The convict threw the bag to the cashier, and put a gun to Leslie's head.
"Into the bag or fat bitch gets it!" commanded the convict.
The cashier emptied all the money from the cash register, put it all into the bag, and passed it to the convict. The convict shot Leslie in the head, and ran off with the money and Frank's car keys.
The convict went into Frank's rental van, and pointed the gun to Frank's kids.
"You're coming with me, kids," shouted the convict, "If anyone jumps out of this car, they will get shot."
Fuller ended up wetting his pants and cried, "I just wet my pants."
"Shut the fuck up, kid," demanded the convict, "Not another word out of any of you."
As the convict drove the stolen van away from the store, the cashier called the cops. A few minutes later, the cops pulled the convict over.
"Step out of the vehicle with your hands up," the cop said through the bullhorn.
The convict mindlessly forgot to shift the gear to keep the van in the parking spot, and came out with his hands up.
"Now get on the ground," commanded the cop.
As the cop was putting the convict in handcuffs, the van rolled down the grassy hill and flipped over a few times til it got crushed on the ground. Then, the van exploded, and got all the kids killed in the explosion.
"What the fuck!" said the cop, as he watched the explosion.
A few minutes later, the remaining McCallisters noticed a news flash on TV about the deaths of Frank and Leslie at a liquor store, the deaths of Frank and Leslie's kids in a car explosion, and the capture of the escaped convict who kidnapped the kids. Frank sat down depressed with his hands on his head, as Kate was petting his back.
"That was my brother, his wife, and their kids," cried Peter, "Maybe we should've ordered the champagne instead of ordering my brother to pick it up from a store."
"It's ok, Peter," cried Kate, "Nobody else is going to die."
"How can you be sure, Mom?" asked Buzz.
Peter and Kate looked at Buzz, and Buzz hesitated for a minute.
"In my premonition," explained Buzz, "The first group of victims who have died on the plane, were Uncle Frank, Aunt Leslie, and their five kids. The second group of victims were you, Dad, Megan, Linnie, and Jeff. The last group of victims were Heather and I. This means that one of you members of the second group is next. If a robber has purposely shot Aunt Leslie in the head, this means 'kill or be killed'"
"So what are you trying to say, Buzz?" asked Peter, "We should go on a killing spree, instead of a shopping spree?"
"No, dad, this is a family, not a mafia," answered Buzz.
"Then, how the hell can we cheat death?" asked Peter.
"I guess we'll have to remain in this hotel til the end of Christmas, so the Christmas ghost of death would just disappear," guessed Buzz.
The double dare is for Marv and Harry, because they mean double trouble, and the death in this chapter is for Uncle Frank and his wife and kids. Will the surviving McCallisters fight against death to avenge the deaths of the first victims? Are Marv and Harry going to actually break into the house shortly after breaking into Mitch Murphy's? Stay tuned for the next chapter of "Home Alone: The Final Destination."