Chapter 5: Suspicion
Marv and Harry has just robbed Mitch Murphy's house. As Harry got back into the van, Marv made a stupid decision of plugging the kitchen sink faucets with sink plugs and shit, and then, chose to leave the water running. Marv got back to the van with a stupid grin on his face.
"What's so funny, Marv?," asked Harry.
Marv ignored the question, spit out the gum, and used it to glue one of the snow globes to the dashboard.
"You did it again, didn't you?" said Harry, "What the fuck! I told you not to leave the goddamn water running and shit!"
"Oh come on, Harry," responded Marv, "No water is gonna drown the shit out of us. We're the Wet Bandits!"
Meanwhile Kevin walked out of the house with the money he took from Buzz's room. He was feeling guilty that he climbed Buzz's shelves and wrecked them.
"I can't believe I wrecked Buzz's room to get money for Burger King," said Kevin, "Buzz is gonna have my legs broke when he finds the mess in his room."
As Marv and Harry were about to drive out of the Murphys' driveway, Kevin walked through the front of the driveway. Then, Harry put on the brakes to stop the van from running over Kevin, and Kevin screamed. As Kevin walked forward a few inches on the sidewalk, Harry rolled down the window to lecture Kevin.
"Hey, kid," said Harry, "You need to watch for traffic."
"Sorry," responded Kevin.
"You don't want to end up in the funeral parlor this holiday season," said Marv.
"Just be more careful. Ok, kid?" asked Harry.
"Ok," answered Kevin, "I'll be more careful."
"Have a nice day," said Harry, "By the way, Merry Christmas."
As Harry smiled with his gold tooth glinting in the sunlight, Kevin got suspicious at Harry and Marv. Kevin was running as fast as he could all the way to church, while Marv and Harry were following him with their van.
"Damn, I think we lost him, Marv," said Harry.
"Isn't he the kid we saw in the newspaper this morning?" asked Marv. "He sure looks familiar."
"I don't know, Marv," answered Harry, "But we'll check the McCallisters' house for sure tonight."
As Kevin saw Marv and Harry disappear away from the church, Kevin decided to go home.
"Actually, I'm not gonna stop at Burger King," said Kevin, "I'm gonna go home and order some pizza from Domino's tonight."
Meanwhile back at the airport hotel, Megan and Linnie changed into their swimsuits to go out for a swim at an indoor pool. That was while Buzz was watching Family Guy on the TV while consuming Cheetos, Twinkies, and a big can of Red Bull. Peter and Kate have decided to go to the supermarket to buy the shit that Uncle Frank and his wife and kids were not able to buy. As Megan and Linnie walked to the front door with their towels, Buzz turned to them.
"If mom and dad asks you where we are," said Megan, "Tell them we are at the indoor pool."
"Yeah, whatever," responded Buzz with a mouthful of Cheetos.
Megan and Linnie walked out the door and went to the indoor pool. Little did they know that the pool was contaminated with chlorine. They dived into the pool and swam around for a couple of minutes.
"Phew," said Megan, "Did you put on too much perfume?"
"Hell no," said Linnie, "I would never put on perfume before swimming."
Linnie stepped out of the pool and went on the diving board, and dived into the pool. As she accidentally opened her eyes underwater, her eyes were burning and bleeding. She was screaming, and Megan tried to bring her up to the surface. But it was too late. Because of the chlorine mixing with some liquid from toxic wastes, Linnie's body melted to a skeleton.
Megan frantically jumped out of the pool, and she ran to the hotel lobby screaming. Nobody was there. Megan noticed a note that said, "Will be back in an hour." None of the phones were working, either. Megan ran to the elevator, and went inside. As the elevator went up, it got jammed. So Megan opened the top hatch of the elevator, and climbed out of it. Megan was climbing as high as she could on an elevator cable to the floor, where the McCallisters' suite would be. But once again, it was too late. The elevator cables tore apart, and Megan and the elevator started to fall down at the same time. Megan screamed as she fell down to her death in the elevator shaft. Her dead body splattered a lot of blood.
Meanwhile in the hotel room, Jeff walked out of the shower and looked disgusted at Buzz, who was eating like a pig in front of the TV.
"Okay, where the fuck are Megan and Linnie?" angrily asked Jeff.
"Well, they told me they went swimming at an indoor pool," answered Buzz.
"Don't just sit there with you thumbs up your ass," demanded Jeff, "Let's find out what is up with those girls, Cartman."
"Okay, I'll go with you, Kyle, you fucking Jew," sarcastically said Buzz.
"Do I look Jewish to you?" asked Jeff.
"Come on, you too, Heather," Jeff said to Heather, who walked out of her bedroom.
"Ok, whatever," responded Heather.
Buzz, Jeff, and Heather ran to the elevator and noticed that it was out of order. Then, they went to the stairs, and climbed down to the first floor. As they went to the indoor pool room, they noticed a skeleton in the contaminated pool. As Buzz looked at the dead body, he vomited on the floor.
"You did not puke on the floor," shouted Jeff.
"Sorry, Jeff," said Buzz, "But I've never actually seen a dead body in person before."
"Maybe Buzz is right," said Heather, "He never actually seen a dead body before."
An elevator repair man came to Buzz, Jeff, and Heather.
"Guys, I found a dead body on the top of the broken elevator. I believe it's one of your sisters," said the repair man.
The man called 911, and the cops, paramedics, and firemen came into the hotel. As Peter and Kate arrived at the parking lot with fruit cake and champagne, they were shocked to see the police cars and other vehicles parked in front of the hotel. Buzz, Jeff, and Heather walked out of the hotel and tried to explain about the deadly incidents at the hotel.
"You were stuffing your face with fatty snacks while obsessing with Family Guy and shit, you fat fuck," Jeff shouted at Buzz.
"Shut the fuck up, Jeff," shouted Buzz, "I think that it's Death's fault that Megan and Kinnie died."
"Guys, will you stop your fucking trash talk?" shouted Heather.
"All of you, quiet down," commanded Peter, "I think it's better we walk safely back to our hotel room, and stay there til Christmas Day so not another one of us die."
"How are we gonna have Christmas dinner?" asked Kate.
"I'll pay for room service to bring it up to our hotel room," answered Peter.
"I just can't believe that a couple more of our kids have died," said Kate as she cried on Peter's shoulder.
As the emergency vehicles drove away from the hotel, including the ambulances carrying Megan and Linnie's dead bodies, the remaining McCallisters climbed up the stairs all the way back to their suite.
It seems that no one has cheated death so far. If Marv and Harry actually ran over Kevin, that would've put Megan or Linnie out of the line of death. But Kevin's death would've been bad anyways. So it's good that Kevin is still alive. Can Kevin actually get away with ordering pizza at underage? Are Marv and Harry actually gonna break into his house? Will the surviving McCallisters actually survive in the suite til Christmas Day without leaving? Stay tuned for the next chapter of "Home Alone: The Final Destination."