I love you guys and your reviews!
Anyway, not much to say this time around so here is Eddie again. Oh, be ready for a rollercoaster of a chapter…my fav!
Ch 12/Edward/Just Let it Out
"Stay the fuck down!" Charles barked and placed a boot on my chest as I looked up at him.
How was I supposed to get up? I couldn't breathe and he just kicked the shit out of me! I looked around looking for everyone else…
There was nobody else.
Not even Emmett or Jasper.
Fuck them.
Two cops were by James trying to see if he was alright and a few others were searching the area with their flashlights.
"Search the area. There might be some still close by!" Charles ordered and then looked down at me again. He pressed down with his foot and I let out a muffled grunt. Shit. Everything hurts. "Who is else was here?" Charles yelled and I could feel his sprinkled saliva on my face. "Who else was here?" he asked again, but I wasn't going to answer him.
"Fuck you, you psycho!" I managed to say.
He knelt on me, placing his knee on my chest. I grunted and moaned from the pain. I coughed and chocked on some blood that was running down my face and into my mouth. He looked around, checked his back and then looked down at me again.
I saw it then.
The fucking demon that was Charles Swan
His brown eyes were now black and the artery in his neck was disgustingly popped out. His black eyebrows furrowed and sweat ran down his forehead from his greasy black hair. He was breathing heavily and smelled of cigarettes and pure hell.
He lifted his fist up high, but the motherfucker was so fast and I was too beaten to react. His fist made contact with the top of my left eye. The fucker punches harder than he kicks. The back of my head hit the hard gravel causing pain…excruciating pain and then…
That was it.
Everything blacked out and went away.
I went away into darkness and a painful numbness took over my body. It crawled from my head and slowly made its way to my toes.
I could still hear muffled voices and sirens in the background, but that wasn't what I was thinking about. That wasn't what I was holding on to.
For some strange reason Bella's face surfaced in the blackness and stayed with me. She sat by me while I lay on the gravel. She played with her finger nails and rocked back and forth with a blank stare on her face. Her eyes red, watery and drowsy and her face was blotchy. She hummed to herself as she rocked back and forth.
"Bella?" I whispered to her. She didn't look at me. "Bella, why don't you tell someone? That ugly fuck is scary as hell. You don't deserve that shit. No matter how much of a snitch you are." I whispered to her and she finally looked at me. She shook her head and a sudden rush of pain flashed her face and her lower lips started to tremble. Her eyes released the tears she was holding in and it was painful to see. It hurt. I don't what hurt, but as the first tear drop rolled down her face I winced and held unto my stomach as a sharp hit me with a force so powerful I ran out of breath trying to hold in the scream. So I screamed.
I screamed.
I buried my face into the gravel and yelped. I turned to look at Bella. She was still blank with wet cheeks.
We started moving now. I could feel my body being moved and thrown into a cushion, but somehow in my dream I was still laying on the gravel with Bella by my side. I could hear Charles' voice talking to someone and a radio in the background answering him back. Bella was still by my side. We were still moving and she was still rocking back and forth.
I realized Bella wasn't wearing her stupid green sweater anymore. She only wore a white tank top and a pair of gray sweat pants.
Her thin arms were illuminated by the moonlight as was her face.
The black and blue bruises on her arms came down from her shoulders down to her wrists decorating her pale skin in pain. Small oval bruises, large bruises, blue and purple…ugly…painful. I could feel them in my gut and as Bella let out a whimper I winced. It caused a sharp pain in my ribs. She noticed I was staring at her arms and she quickly tried to cover them by hugging herself. I shook as Bella started crying. My chest shuddered and my brain throbbed.
"Bella…" I whispered again.
"Help me" she whispered. I said nothing. As usual, I was a fucking coward.
"Wax me" Bella started signing in a low and broken voice.
"Mould me Heat the pins and stab them in" Her voice started breaking.
"You have turned me into this
Just wish that it….it was bullet proof"
"You have turned me into this." She whispered.
"No! It was your dad."
"No Eddie boy." She whispered with a smile confusing the shit out of me. "My Eddie boy." She whispered a little louder. She smiled at me and shook her head. I looked down at her arms again. All her bruises faded and resurfaced as a few…all in her inner elbow. "Hey Eddie…" she said in a motherly and soft tone. I looked at her in the face. It wasn't Bella anymore. Her face molded like wax into the face of my mother, Elizabeth.
"Mom…"
"Yes Eddie…why didn't you save me? I'm your mom, Eddie! Why didn't you fix me?"
"I was a kid mom. You were sick…I didn't understand what kind of sick then…but now I do."
"But you didn't save me."
"I know"
"You can't save me anymore. It's too late. You didn't save me Eddie." She said looking down at her inner elbows. "I was sick and you didn't save me!"
"You didn't let me! You hid from me. But you were sick. I'm so sorry mom! I'm sorry I failed you!" I cried. I could feel the tears running down my face and my sobbing taking control of me. I buried my face deeper into the gravel it hurt. It hurt like hell.
"Edward…" She whispered. I turned to look at her.
It was Bella again. She sat even closer to me now. I reached out and touched her left arm and she didn't flinch.
She didn't jump. Instead, she took my hand in hers.
"Edward…my Edward." She whispered and smiled at me. Her face no longer blotchy and she was no longer crying. Her smile was soft…honest…beautiful just for me.
Just for me.
"My Edward."
"What do you mean by that, Bella?" She didn't answer and just smiled again. I was going to smile back at her when behind her came a shadow. It started hovering over her and her smiled went away.
No!
"I have to go now…" she whispered sadly.
"I know…" I whispered back. The shadow changed shape and became human.
If you can call him human.
Charles stood over Bella, who just looked at me sadly.
"No…I could do something…"
"But you won't." she shook her head.
"You don't know that! Someone has to do something! I will."
"Maybe…" Bella whispered back, but before she or I could say anything, Charles violently took her by the shoulder and began pulling her away.
"No!" I yelled but Charles didn't even look at me. He raised his hand at Bella and before she could see it, I felt it. He slapped her but somehow I felt it. Bella didn't make sound.
Bella wasn't real.
"Wake the fuck up!" I heard him and I tried to wake up, but my eyes wouldn't work with me. He slapped me again, a little harder. Not that he needed to add any more force. His fucking hand was made of metal.
"Uhh…" I moaned as I tried opening my eyes. I couldn't see anything. My vision was blurred and I could feel the puffiness around both of my eyes.
"Your foster parents are going to here in any moment. Get your ass of my jail bench!"
Jail bench? My foster parents? Shit! Carlisle and Esme! I looked around and found myself in a dark and nasty ass jail cell.
"Sit up!" He yelled again. I tried to oblige, but my body wouldn't let me. My ribs hurt, my chest ached and I felt weak.
"I ca..can…can't." I muttered.
"Oh hell yes you can." I heard Charles yell. He grabbed me by my chest and pulled me up. I screamed in the pain. He pushed me up against a hard and cold cement wall. He still held onto my shirt. "Oh shut the fuck up! I had a doctor look at you and said you hadn't broken anything as far as he could tell. You're just badly and horribly bruised boy! So man up! Use those balls of yours." He yelled into my face.
"Get the fuck off me!" I managed to yell and he laughed. I hate him! I want to rip his head off. I want to kick his ass to a pulp for me and…and….and for Bella. I want to give him a taste of his own medicine.
"Look you little bastard! I know where you come from. I know about your fucked up mom and your piece of shit father. I don't trust your white trash ass for a moment. You new mommy and daddy might have money and you can dress in all the nice clothes out there, but you're still a piece of shit. You're a piece of white trash, ass wipe!" I tried pushing him off but he shoved me harder into the wall and I screamed in pain.
"If you ever do that shit again and especially to James Whitley, the son of Port Angeles Mayor, John Whitley, I will send your 18 year old ass to the big boy jail. You're lucky the mayor wants to keep this in the low and wants nothing with you or else you would have been having a family reunion with your white trash father back in the Seattle's County Jail!" He spat in my face and threw me down on the bench again.
"I have to look good to Mayor Whitley and you're fucking it up boy!" he said sitting next to me. I held onto my chest, gasping for air. He wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me closer to him. I yelped in paid.
I wanted to puke.
His hold was tight and I could feel the blood circulation to my head stop and I started gasping harder for air.
"You know…I'm lucky my daughter doesn't hang around with you Cullens. I don't want my sweet baby running around a bunch of mutts and fatherless bastards…especially you Mr. Masen." If the fucker even knew! I swear I wanted to break free from his hold and kick the living shit out of him. I would.
I will
"Sweet Isabella…I love my daughter Mr. Masen. She would never let me down…she's too scared to let me down…and you should be too Mr. Masen." He finally let me go and I fell back and hit my head on the wall. "You'll make sure to not inform your parents of my warnings…because…" he said taking out a small bag of what looked like cocaine out of his pocket. "I'll show them what I found on their son."
That shit isn't mine! The motherfucker!
"You know who they would believe, Mr. Masen? Yes…" I nodded. My life was shit if even I knew nobody would believe me. "Good, Mr. Masen." He patted my knee and stood up. He placed the small bag of cocaine in his pocket again. "Your foster parents are almost here, Mr. Masen. I have to go greet them and explain the situation. You'll stay in this jail cell, Mr. Masen. Isn't that right Mr. Masen? Mr. Masen….Mr. Masen…I'm talking to you Mr. Ma…"
"And I fucking heard you, asshole!" I yelled and he laughed again.
"Oh Mr. Masen…I might have a soft spot for you…wait…no, no I don't." he walked to the cell door and opened it. He stepped out and locked it. "I'll be back Mr. Masen. Don't sleep Mr. Masen. You might have another rude awakening, Mr. Masen." He chuckled and left.
"My name is fucking Edward Cullen, you piece of shit! You fucked up piece of shit!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "My name is Edward Cullen! Edward fucking Cullen! Fuck you Swan! Fuck you!" I yelled.
It hurt.
I cried into the wall of the fucking jail cell.
"My name is Cullen. My name is Cullen. My name is Cullen."
I wish I was bullet proof.
Carlisle asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital. He knew better than to ask me.
I hated that place. I shook my head and he understood and didn't pressure me. After all, the jail's doctor took another look at me and said there was nothing broken. I was just fucked up in other ways.
Nobody said anything after that.
Esme cried while Carlisle started at the road ahead of him.
I sat in the back seat staring at the yellow lines passing by.
Bad idea.
I wanted to puke again.
I turned to look at Carlisle. His face was made of stone and his eyes were the only ones moving. I sat behind Esme, I didn't want to see her cry, but I could still hear her and that was worse. I wanted to sleep. The car's green numbers yelled at me. It was 4:15 in the morning.
Shit
When we finally got home, Esme was the first one to get out. She ran inside and I stayed behind. Carlisle didn't move. I didn't move.
"Are you hurting?" he asked and I could see him looking at me through the rear view mirror. I held my stomach and nodded. "Get off and stay in the kitchen. I'm going to look at your wounds. You're still bleeding, they must be deep cuts." He said lowly and with no emotion. I nodded and slowly made my way out of the car. I struggled and it took me three times longer than it normally would.
I slowly walked towards the house door grabbing onto to things to hold myself up.
Carlisle didn't even stop or ask if I needed help. He passed me and walked into the house.
I guess I deserve it.
I sat on a stool and Carlisle began cleaning the gash I had on top of my left eye, on the bottom of my eyebrow.
Fucking James and fucking Charles.
Carlisle said nothing as he worked on my left eye. He wouldn't let me clean my face or spit out the blood in my mouth.
It was punishment.
He mumbled something about not allowing Emmett out of his room and I wanted to chuckle at Emmett's grounding, but I held it in.
"Are you proud Carlisle?" I asked while he stitched my gash. He said nothing. I winced as he continued. He had given me a pain killer, but it hadn't taken effect. "Carlisle…I'm…look I…" I can't even apologize. I'm a dick. "Look I know…"
"Just don't say anything, Edward. You do what you do. You're Edward. I'm just glad your grades are amazing. It'll put you in a good school….far away from Esme so you won't hurt her anymore."
"Oh so you can't wait until I leave?"
"No, I'm just tired of seeing my wife cry for you when you don't deserve anybody sympathy. We've given you that for so many years and let you take your frustrations out, but it's gotten old. You say you don't want sympathy, but that's what you cause with your actions. How can you make someone care about you when you don't care about yourself? That's why I'll wait for you to grow up. I won't cry for you anymore Edward. I've already done that and you don't see how much you affect this family and this family doesn't deserve your blindness and unkindness. You've only caused so much sorrow when we've only loved you in return." He said and I fought back the tears. Carlisle said this? I must be a piece of shit if Carlisle is talking to me like this. He had finished stitching my gash and I violently stood up.
It hurt, but I had too much pride.
"Then why didn't you just let me die that day? It would have saved you and your wife all this "sorrow." I wouldn't be here for your fucking sympathy! Fuck you! I didn't ask you to save me. You could have just let the white trash boy die and nobody would've given a shit!" I yelled and started walking away.
"Edward! Son…" Carlisle yelled. He sounded guilty, I could hear the knot in his throat, but I ignored him. I slowly made my way to my room with tears running down my cheeks and grabbed a bottle of vodka from my closet. It probably wasn't a good idea with the pain meds, but I didn't give a shit right now. I drank the whole thing while sitting on my bed. I grabbed another bottle and stared out my window. I glanced at the clock. It was 5:55 now. I had to get up in ten minutes to get ready for school. I chuckled darkly. I guess I'm not going.
I turned to the window again.
The sun will be up in any moment now.
I wonder if Bella gets up this early or later? I'll check.
I stood up and started climbing out my window. I almost fell a few times. It hurt to hold on, but I had to get out of this house. But shit…I had a bottle of vodka in one hand, I was drunk already and I was pretty broken up so this wasn't working out. I planned to walk. I didn't want to ride my bike. That would probably hurt.
It was cold as hell…as usual. The cold made my wounds hurt more and the same time it felt good. I wasn't wearing a sweater or a jacket nor did I care. I just had to get away. I bet Bella's room is warm.
When I finally made my way into the woods, I remembered that Bella was mad at me. Not that I blame her, but I really wished she would could be mad at me another day so I could go over to her house. I wanna show that her dad showed me some love, just like he does with her.
I chuckled to myself. Maybe if he's there we'll have a reunion of some sort and talk about it…share our experiences. I chuckled again.
Shit
Now where?
I mean she would forgive me right? She had to get over it.
Probably not…I don't know why I felt so disappointed. I decided to ignore the damn feeling and decided against visiting Bella. My vision blurred and everything around me starting spinning. My eyes began closing by themselves and my breathing slowed. I need a place to sleep. I decided to make my way to the meadow. Maybe that would give me some peace.
I tried remembering where it was, but I was pretty much too fucked up to function anymore. When I thought I had found it, suddenly everything starting coming up…wait…my foot got caught on some weeds .
I'm falling.
Shit I'm falling.
I tried grabbing onto something, but gravity had other plans.
I fell, face first into the ground. I grunted in pain…but the darkness returned and I no longer knew where I was or what I was doing. The last thing I had heard was the sound of my vodka bottle hitting something hard, shattering into many pieces…too bad it was some good vodka. I began dreaming again. I dreamt about random shit, mostly shit that made no sense. I don't know how long I laid there. I hoped someone would find me, because it was getting too fucking cold. I felt my body shivering trying to warm itself up and each time I trembled, twitched or tried to hold myself to find warmth…it hurt.
Then there was Bella.
Bella sat next to me again. I reached for her, but she pulled away. She glared at me and I smiled at her. I like pissy Bella.
Yep, even dream Bella is pissed. I should at least apologize to dream Bella.
"Edward?" She yelled at me. "Edward!" Dream Bella sat up and left and was replaced by just her voice.
"What?" I whispered. I rolled onto on my back with every bit of strength I had. I let out a loud groan grabbing the right side of my body. Chief Swan's fucking boots! One day….one fucking day he'll…
"Oh my god Edward. What happened to you?" did I look fucked up in my dreams too? I suddenly felt a warm hand on my cheek. I sighed uncontrollably. My body reacted to the warmth like a drug addict reacts to drugs. I felt the goose bumps running up my arm and even that hurt.
"Edward…can you hear me? Do you want me to take you to a hospital?" hell no. I slowly opened my eyes, the sun hit them with a fury and I winced and hissed in pain. What time is it? And why is it still cold with the sun out? Fucking Washington! I closed my eyes again. "I can take you to the hospital Edward!" I heard her voice far and echoing, but somehow I knew she was close. I felt her. Her warm body was by my side. I didn't know if it was a dream anymore, so I reached out and grabbed what I could feel.
She intertwined her fingers with mine.
"You're hand is warm Dream Bella. I like it."
"What? Edward, you have to open you eyes!"
"I can't."
"Why? Are you in pain?"
"Yes"
"I can take you to a hospital."
I tried shaking my head to let her know I didn't want a hospital, but I wasn't sure if that was working. I wasn't sure if I was moving my head with enough force that she would see. I had to say something.
"No…" I managed to mutter. Was I even awake? I might be talking to a damn wolf for all I know.
"Then… what can I do for you? Tell me already!" she sounded so worried. I wanted to smile at her sudden worry, but I'm not sure I had the strength. Dream Bella wasn't mad at me anymore. It made me happy. "You're…you're covered in blood…oh god! Blood…" she said gasped.
Oh…Bella and blood don't go well together. Maybe dream Bella will be smarter and go away.
"Its…ugh…its okay Bella…I just…got in a fight…not feeling too well though." I said slowly and there was a long silence. I'm guessing dream Bella doesn't want to stick around either…don't blame her. I gulped and suddenly felt a small hand on my face again. I shuddered and though it hurt that I did…I liked it. I liked her warm hand on my cold cheek.
"I can help you." I heard her say. Dream Bella isn't so smart…but she's nice. She wants to help.
"But blood makes you sick."
"It doesn't matter now. I want to help you." She said now with both of her hands on my face.
"Ok" I whispered.
"But Edward…you're going to have to help me. I'm not very strong."
"You always say that…its bullshit Bella. Now I know." I didn't know why I felt like complementing dream Bella, but her "I'm weak" story was getting annoying since it wasn't true. After the shit I went through with her fucked up dad, I was pretty sure Bella went through that on a daily basis and that made her pretty fucking tough if you ask me. I can deny it and pretend it isn't bad just to make myself feel better, but I know the truth and it's fucked up. Her dad is fucked up.
She rubbed my upper arm and I felt a wave of electricity move through my body.
"I parked my truck by the road. I'm sure we can make it if you help me get there. Can you walk?" She said. "Edward?" I fell back into unconsciousness. I didn't have any control of my mind. I felt like I was falling and I didn't have any control over that either. I flinched.
"Edward!" I heard her yell and I quickly opened my eyes.
Dream Bella has pretty brown eyes…just like real Bella, but she doesn't wear her glasses. She was hovering over me with her face inches from mine. Her eyebrows furrowed and her forehead wrinkled in worry. "Edward, come on." She said. The sun light circled her head and I smiled. She looked like a Catholic saint. Maybe my vision was just blurry and cloudy, but it was a cool affect on her face. She looked as if she was floating somewhere holy.
Holy shit
"Your name means beautiful, Bella…" I said. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm so high and drunk and just plain fucked up.
"What?" She looked confused. I slowly raised my hand and took a few strands of her brown hair and gently placed them behind her ear. Her brown eyes widened and mouth fell open. Through my foggy vision I could still see her blush and I chuckled. She shook her head. "Edward, I'm going to try and help you sit, okay?"
"Okay."
She wrapped an arm around my back and held onto my arm with her other hand.
"On three try and sit up…okay."
"Uh huh…"
"Okay…one, two and three." She said and she huffed and I pulled up. We struggled and she was right, she wasn't very strong, but we made it. She was gasping for air after. "Okay, well that worked." She tried catching her breath. She knelt in front of me.
"Edward?"
"Hmm"
"Well you look up at me?" she asked and that's when I realized I was almost falling forward.
"Yes Bella…" I said shaking. My back wanted to give up and my arms weren't strong at the moment. I felt fuzzy and like a big blob of jelly…painful jelly. I don't think I can stay up for long.
"We are going to try and get you up on your feet…okay?"
"Yep…" I muttered.
"But I want to ask something of you…are you listening to me?" she asked as if I was a child. I rolled my eyes.
"Yes"
"Okay, I'm going to be right here by you in case you need support…but…" she paused and took a deep breath. "Try and not grab my arms so hard or anything else…you don't want that. I don't want that. You don't want that, because I'm the only one out here and if you do that…" she sighed again. "just don't grab me hard…I'm sorry I'm asking this of you…"
"Huh…"
"Just don't"
"Ok…whatever…don't grab hard. Got it." I mumbled.
"Ok" she wrapped my arm around her neck and took a deep breath. She was shaking a little. I turned and looked at her.
"You sure about this?" I slurred each word but she understood and nodded.
"Yes. You ready?"
"Yes."
"Ok just try and stand up. I'll be here." She said and I started getting on my knees, with one arm still around her neck. I was weak. I could feel the weakness in my arms as they started to give up. I panicked and held onto her back with force.
"Oh my god!" she gasped. She started breathing hard and her hand on my back grabbed my shirt in panic and I could feel her little body shaking.
"I'm sorry Bella." I pleaded, but she just shook her head and took a deep breath trying to calm herself down.
"Its okay just keep going!" she ordered and I did what I was told. My knees tried to give up on me, but Bella held onto me and I forced myself up. I finally made it to my feet and my head started spinning.
"Wow!" I said grabbing my head.
"You okay?"
"Just a little dizzy…"
"Well, we're going to walk now. Just hold on to me, but not so tight." She said and I could hear the embarrassment in her voice. She tried pulling me forward and I took a small baby step and I smiled.
"Bella"
"Yes, Edward."
"I think I'm going to fall again."
"No!" She panicked and pulled towards a tree. "Hold on to the tree. We can walk from tree to tree."
"Ok…" I said grabbing the tree for dear life. Everything was still spinning and cloudy. She took me by the arm and pulled me forward.
"Come on Edward." I stumbled to the next tree, but didn't fall. And so we continued forward. "Bella" I said after a while of walking.
"Yes Edward"
"I just realized you're really here. You're real." I said and I heard her chuckle as I pulled my way to another tree. I wanted to ask her what the hell was she doing here and why she wasn't in school. I wanted to ask her how she found me and most importantly, why was she was saving me. But I didn't have any strength left. I wish I did.
We finally made it to the road and Bella squeezed my arm.
"We're here. My truck is over there." She said pointing at it. I just nodded and she pulled me forward and wrapped an arm around my waist and I wrapped an arm around her small shoulders. I was afraid to lean on her. I didn't want to break her, but my body threatened to give up. I held onto her as we both walked to her truck. As we made it to the ugly piece of scrap metal, I held onto to it as Bella opened the passenger door. It opened with a squeak and as Bella moved out of the way so I could get in, I looked at her.
"I don't want to stain your truck." I said and she rolled her eyes.
"It's already a piece of crap Edward. We need to get you some help." She said and gave a soft smile that went through me causing a shiver. She helped me into her truck. Bella's hands are gentle and small, even when she is pushing and pulling with all her strength, it's still gentle.
Bella closed my door and ran to the driver's side.
"So no hospital?"
"No, I hate that place."
"Makes two of us. So your house. Your dad is a doctor. He has to…"
"No!" I cut her off and she jumped. "I'm sorry. Just…anywhere but home." I whispered and she just shook her head. She stared at me waiting for an answer. The look on her face seemed to be out of sympathy. Great! Bella feels bad for me. Just what I fucking needed!
"So where to?" I wish I could tell her where. The truth is I didn't know where. I had no idea where to go. Besides, I fell asleep. I buried my face into her seat probably staining it with blood, but I was tired and to drugged and drunk to care. I had not slept well or at all and it was already a whole new fucking day!
"Edward?" I heard her, but I couldn't answer her back. "Edward I'm going to help you. I promise." I heard the truck's engine come to life and we started moving.
Why?
Out of all people, Bella Swan wants to help me. ME? When I'm the one who has refused to help her by pretending that what I saw a few nights ago isn't that bad. Me, the guy that is supposed to fuck her brains out to then proceed to ditch her for a sick joke. Me, the jackass that has teased her all these years, Bella wants to help me.
In my drugged, beaten state I could hardly comprehend her motives
Does everybody need a damn reason to be a good person?
Good people don't exist. There is the "I'm such a good person" type people that go on professing that they are so good and nice and in that process make everyone else feel shit worthy because of their arrogance, hence my family. Then there are the shitty people, the ones that don't care what they are doing to others around them and act in a destructive manner with everyone and with themselves, hence me…and my real mother. Then there are the totally fucked up assholes; Bella's father. I don't need to explain that shit. That fucker rejoices in hurting people.
And then…
And then there's Bella.
Where does Bella fall?
She doesn't think much of herself. She isn't shitty with others and she definitely is not fucked up in the head. She minds her own business, of course not when she told on us which after knowing Bella for these few days, I still don't understand why she did it.
Did she even fucking do I shithead?
Fuck you inner voice.
"Edward," Bella's voice was soothing to my now resonating headache. "I didn't know where to take you. I figured I could clean you up a little you're covered in…" her voice broke as she said the last word. "covered in blood. Maybe I can bring down the swelling on your face. Edward…open your eyes and look at me." I did what I was told. Bella's face was full of worry. I looked around. The passenger door was opened and Bella was standing by me. We were outside her house.
"What? Aren't you parents here?" I asked and that's when I remembered Charles. I began to shake my head. "I can't be here Bella!"
"Shh! Don't worry, my mother isn't here. She's at this book thing and my father doesn't get home until around two in the afternoon."
"What time is it now?"
"Eight in the morning."
"What?"
"Yes, so come on. We have plenty of time to get you fixed up. Are you still drugged or dizzy?"
"A little, but I feel better." I lied.
"Okay, well come one." She said opening the door wider and holding it. "Can you get out?"
"Yes, I'm not a child!" I said annoyed.
"Well you act like one! Getting in a fight? Really Edward?"
"Don't lecture me!" I said and immediately grabbed my head. "That hurt…shouldn't yell."
"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have lectured." she sighed. I dragged my heavy feet out of the truck and landed on the ground. I thought I was going to tumble over, but I grabbed onto the truck and Bella held onto me. "Let's walk together." She said and we headed for her house door. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she held onto me.
"There are neighbors." I cautioned.
"They all work. Don't worry about it." We got to her door and out of her jeans, she took a key out and opened the door.
The smell of cleaning spray hit my face and I felt nauseas, but I held it in. We walked into Bella's house and the wooden floor creaked and I jumped.
I'm jumping now?
"Relax, Edward. It's just you and me." Bella whispered. I looked down at her and she gave me a soft smile. "I'm going to hide you in my room. That means we have to climb stairs. You up for it?" I smiled back at her and nodded. We started walking again, with my arm around her shoulders and as we made our way to the stairs I took a look around her house. We passed the living room. There was a raggedy couch in front of a giant plasma TV and some empty beer bottles laying around. They were a lot of beer bottles. I looked down at Bella who was looking at me now. She blushed in embarrassment and looked away.
"It's okay Bella. I forgive you not inviting me to your party." I said and she grinned. We made it to her room. The stairs were a pain and I know Bella was annoyed and irritated as fuck by the end of it, but she didn't say anything or yelled. I was grateful.
We entered her room and Bella led me to her, messy and undone bed. I thought I was sitting down, but I ended up falling on it. I had no control what so ever and I groaned at the pain.
"Sit up." Bella ordered and I meekly made my way up. "Lets take your shirt off." She ordered and I looked up at her and smirked. She rolled her eyes. "It's covered…"
"Blood? Yeah I know." I mumbled and tried taking it off, but my fingers slipped and I was about to fall back again, when Bella grabbed me by the arms.
"Ah!" I cried and she jumped.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Edward!" She pleaded.
"It's fine. It's my fault I hurt everywhere."
"Well let me help you with the shirt." She said and I let her. As I sat at the edge of her bed, she stood in front of me and pulled the hem of my shirt slowly up my body and if I wasn't so battered up I would've been turned on. Her finger tips grazed my skin as they moved up from my belly to my chest. My skin quickly shivered and I could feel the goose bumps taking over every bit of my skin.
What the hell was that?
As Bella pulled my shirt off my head, I fell back on her bed again and groaned.
"Lay there. I'm going to get rid of this in the restroom!" Bella said and ran into what I guessed was her restroom, holding my shirt away from her body. She acted as if it was covered in disease. I chuckled. Weakly, I positioned myself correctly on her bed, with my head on one of her pillows and as the weight of my head landed on the pillow, a strawberry scent invaded my nose and my head. I smiled to myself. And the damn goose bumps got worse.
I'm such a pussy.
After a few minutes in the restroom, Bella walked out with a plastic bowl and some rags. She placed everything on her nightstand and turned to look at me.
"Edwa…" she stopped herself and her mouth fell open a little. She fluttered her eyes a bit and her cheeks turned red and it wasn't until I followed her gaze that I realized that Bella was staring at my chest. I looked at her again and she looked at me in the eyes. She held no embarrassment or shyness. I didn't give her a cocky smile or made a smart remark…
Bella's gaze on my body caused an electric wave through me. She bit down on her lower lip and I was about to reach for her hand, when she nervously reacted and stepped back.
"Um…I…um..uh…I'm going to get some ice for your swelling and I…um…don't move…well you can't move…but I'm going to be right back. Okay?" she said and I just nodded.
Bella ran out of her room and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep yet again. I don't know for how long I had lost consciousness, but I was awakened by her hands on my face. I fluttered my eyes open to find a sweaty, shaky, and very sick looking Bella. She hovered over me and gently rubbed my face clean with a wet rag. She was biting down on her lip again; so hard, I thought she would finally just chew it off. She had her hair up in a messy bun with a few strands on her face and some hairs were sticking to her sweaty neck. She wasn't wearing her glasses and gave easier access to her chocolate brown eyes that were full of fear. She was in a white tank top, no longer hiding her bruises and I winced. I wasn't sure if it was because of my own pain anymore. I cleared my throat.
"Why are you so afraid of blood?" I whispered as she had started cleaning the other side of my face. She stopped and stared into my eyes and shook her head looking down. She avoided my eyes as she spoke.
"I don't know. I've been like this for a few years now. I wish I knew…I think I know why, but I don't like admitting it myself." She whispered back.
"You don't like admitting what made you so scared of blood?" I whispered again. She looked at me in eyes again and her face fell.
"I don't like admitting that I'm ruined." She said, her voice broken now.
"You're not ruined." I whispered again and gently moved a strand from her hair behind her ear with my hand.
"You don't know that." She said and started cleaning my face again. I winced and she stopped. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." I said and tried smiling at her, but it hurt.
She continued with her magical cure of my fucked up face and as she concentrated again, her face lowered closer to mine.
"You don't have to do this. I don't want you to get sick because of me." I said and she shook her head.
"It's not your fault. I want to help you. I just can't leave you like this." She whispered and I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Why? I'm a dickhead. I probably deserve this."
"You also deserve for someone to help you. You're not a beast." She said and I sighed.
"I think I like you Bella Swan." I said sarcastically and she rolled her eyes and smiled. We stayed silent for another long moment, but I decided to break the silence.
"Who ruined you, Bella?" I asked and she immediately stopped what she was doing and looked at me in the eyes. She blinked and looked down again. She didn't answer. I swallowed and cleared my throat. It was painfully dry.
"Oh, I totally forgot that I brought you water!" She said and grabbed a glass of water from the night stand. "You wanna sit up? Can you?"
"Yeah…I think." I said and painfully sat up and rested against the bed's headboard. I took the glass of water from her small and shaky hands and gulped the damn thing down. "Thank you, Bella."
"Yeah…um do you want me to call someone?"
"No!"
"Well…"
"Please I don't want to go home right now. They don't want me there. I've already created too many problems. Trust me on this; they're probably happy that they don't have to deal with me today."
"That can't be true. They're your family."
"Well your father is you father and look at what he did." I said and she looked down again. I'm an ass. "I'm sorry Bella, see I'm an asshole."
"No, just…" She sighed. "Um… you're right. Can't trust anybody these days." I nodded and then realization hit me. Shit.
"You're still pissed at me right?" I asked and she raised her eye brows.
"Very."
"What if I said I'm so fucking sorry for acting like a douche bag and that I didn't mean it?"
"I'm still pissed." She said and grabbed the rag and began cleaning at my face again. She wasn't as gentle as before I winced but she didn't stop this time and I chuckled.
"A part of me wants to tell you that I only blew you off so that you wouldn't stand there in front of those assholes and another part of me tells me that I'm the asshole. I tend to agree with the second part." I said and she smiled. "Why did you go up to me anyway? That's not like you. You know what those motherfuckers are like."
"You never told me if we were going to meet after school. I didn't want to leave you hanging." She said lowly and I felt the overwhelming and painful shadow of guilt. I swallowed the guilt and looked at her and softly smiled at her.
"I'm sorry." I whispered and she smiled back.
"You sound honest so I might consider it." She said and I chuckled again.
"Why aren't you in school?" I asked and she just shrugged.
"I was trying to avoid you. I was really mad at you." She said and I smiled.
"How did you end up finding me in the woods?"
"I was trying to find a tree to draw. I was in the mood for trees." She said and shrugged again. "I wanted a tree and I wanted to avoid you. Instead I found you and no tree, the irony." I chuckled again.
"I'm sorry I ruined your plans."
"Don't be ridiculous." She finished cleaning my face and ran her index finger across my right cheek and I let out a shaky sigh. I quickly looked for sign that she had noticed my strange reaction to her touch, but she didn't flinch or say anything. She just stared at whatever she was looking at on my face. It was probably my black eye. "Does it hurt?" she asked and ran her finger tip over my cheek bone and I goose bumped.
What the hell is wrong with me?
"Yes, but its bearable. Does it look bad?" I asked worried and her hand dropped to my shoulder and I don't think she noticed.
"Not that bad. Don't worry you're still pretty…" she was joking, but she immediately blushed. "I um…uh."
"Do you think I'm pretty?" I asked with a crooked smile and she quickly removed her hand from my shoulder.
"I um…"
"Its okay Bella, I was just joking." I said and she shook her head in relief.
"Whose ass did you kick anyway?" she asked and in the moment I remembered. I remembered fighting with James, but I also remembered her father.
How did Charles and the cops find us anyway?
I told Bella about the racing…
She couldn't have…I mean why would she?
She was pissed at you. You humiliated her. She had to get back at you.
"Um I fought with some douche bag." I mumbled, but decided to test her. "We fought until the cops got there." I said and she whipped her head up.
"Oh my god. Did you get caught? I hope you got away! Did you?" Bella asked and she sounded genuinely honest. The way her forehead creased and her eyes widened, only proved to me that Bella…was honest and innocent.
"I did and I got arrested." I said and she covered her mouth in disbelief. "Um…I was arrested by your father." She jumped off the bed and landed on her feet with a loud 'thud' and started pacing around.
"Oh my god…oh my god…oh my god. No, no, no this…that. No!" she started panting and running her hands through her hair. "Did he do something to you? Oh my god did he say something rude to you? I'm sorry…I'm so sorry if he humiliated you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" she said running out of breath. I stared in shock and quite frankly, in sadness. Bella knew her father too well. It was sad because what was to be known of him was complete fuckery. What she knew of him and I what I had seen and come to realize, was fucking scary and heavy on the chest. I shook my head. I had to lie to Bella. If I told her the truth, she would only torture herself.
"Bella calm down! Your dad didn't to any of that shit." Fucking lie. He did all of those things. "He just arrested me and put me in a jail cell. That's it." I said trying to ease her down and it seemed to work-a little. She sat back down on the bed, but didn't look at me. She seemed so ashamed and I wanted to say or do something…and I did.
I rubbed her arm and she only jumped a little, but I got her to look at me. Her eyes were red and her lower lip was being punished by her teeth. I sighed and sat up a little higher up the headboard. I clenched my teeth in order to keep in the groan that wanted to escape my throat. I was shit sore, but Bella needed some confidence headed her way, not some dickhead with his faced smashed in.
I gently took her chin and pulled it down so her lip could escape its punishment…
"Bella, don't punish yourself for someone else's fucked up head. Even if that someone is related to you, you aren't that someone. You are not Charles Swan and for that one reason alone, you are not responsible for anything he does or says. Not even when he does shit to you. Always know that Bella. It will never be your fault." I said and she looked down again. "I know I'm a not good person, but if I were like my real mother or father, I would be six feet under right now. I'm fucking proud I'm not like them and you should to. You, especially you. And you're wrong." I sighed and took one of her small hands in mine. She looked at me again. "He didn't ruin you." She let out shaky breath. "Bella Swan you are not ruined. If you were you wouldn't draw so fucking awesome, you wouldn't have fuck awesome taste in music and have your wit…you hide that shit well, but you have it. If you were ruined I would still be face down in the dirt with my broken pathetic self. But look at me." I said and she smiled. "I'm getting fixed and I'm pretty sure I'll be sore as hell for days to come, but at least I had someone who tried to fix me. You're not ruined." I repeated and squeezed her hand.
"Thanks Edward, you aren't so douchie. I think I like you too Cullen." She said with a hint of sarcasm and I chuckled, loudly this time.
At ten, Bella helped me to her shower and almost ran out the door as I stepped inside the restroom. I chuckled. I washed off all the blood and the warm water felt amazing on my sore muscles. I made sure not to be so loud with my moaning; Bella would think I was doing something else. She let me wear my old Radiohead t-shirt, which was tight as hell on me, but it was that or one of Charles' old t-shirts. She let me wear some old sweat pants of hers and they were tight, but not as tight as I thought they would be. Apparently, they were Bella's favorite baggy ass sweat pants.
After I got out of the shower, Bella brought me soup. I fucking hate soup, it's the lamest excuse for a meal. BUT. I almost cummed in my tight sweat pants when I tasted her soup. It was fucking delicious and I couldn't help but moan. Bella giggled and I glared at her which only made her giggle more. Bella sat with me while I ate and we watched TV while lying on her bed. I poked fun at her when she had to grab her glasses to watch TV and she just flipped me off.
She flipped the channels until we both agreed on old re-runs of "That 70's Show". Hearing Bella laugh was distracting. Watching Bella laugh was just too entertaining and dazzling and I couldn't care less about my secret hot obsession of Donna and her flaming red hair.
After my third bowl of soup and after the third re-run on TV, we started talking about random things. I had decided to ask Bella what she had not done in her life that she thought most people had done.
"Um, well…I've never been to a rock concert."
"Right"
"Uh never gone to the mall."
"What?"
"My mom buys me all my clothes and Father says the mall is too expensive and that they even charge to walk in."
"No they don't!" I said and she shook her head and shrugged.
"I really don't care. I don't like shopping as it is." She sighed.
'Well, me neither…go on."
"Um I never learned how to ride a bike. I had a friend who tried to teach me with his bike, but he was too short tempered and I am to clumsy and unbalanced so we just gave up. But I really would like to ride one. I think it would be fun." She said and though I was put out off knowing that this 'friend' was a he, I smiled at Bella's innocence. "What else…lets see…I've never gone swimming."
"What? That's totally…you're missing out. I love swimming. Seriously, you're missing out."
"Thanks for reminding me." She said with a smile and rolled her eyes and I smiled back apologetically. "I don't know how to swim. I would like to. The water looks like it would feel good."
"Maybe, when it finally gets hot in this town, I'll take you to the lake that's by my house and I'll show you." I said and she smiled again.
"I've never been to a carnival or fair. Since I watched the Notebook on TV, I've wanted to go to one." She said and I chuckled.
"What? You think you're gonna meet the love of your life there?"
"Nah, I just wanna get on a ride. They look like fun."
"Well, they come to Port Angeles all the time. Why don't you sneak off when they do?"
"You're funny." She said dryly as if it was an impossible idea. "Oh I got another one that will make you shout!" she said excitedly and I chuckled and raised my eyebrows waiting for it. ".Never. Had..Meal. From McDonalds!" I said and I almost chocked on my saliva.
"That's impossible! Everyone has had a damn Happy Meal!"
"Well not me! Father said it was a waste of money and didn't let my mom buy me one. He threatened her and me, so we just got over it." I almost shook in front of her out of the anger I felt for that asshole. "He said he wasn't paying for a plastic toy I would forget about the next day, but he didn't understand. That was the whole point." She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. "When I was in elementary, I would get food from the lunch line while other kids brought their own. Sometimes, some moms and dads would bring their kids a Happy Meal, because it was their birthday and I would just stare at them in envy. I envied those two minutes in which they smiled and ignored their food while they took their plastic stupid toy out of the paper bag. I envied the look on their faces as they ripped opened the plastic bag that contained the useless toy. I wanted to feel that glee for two minutes of my life. I just wanted to taste and feel that for two minutes at least." She said and sighed again and looked at me. "I'm stupid I know."
"No! You were a kid. You deserved a damn toy. You also deserved for your parents to bring you lunch for your birthday."
"I haven't celebrated a birthday in years! The last time I did, I was…" she stopped herself and shook her head.
"You were what?"
"I'm sorry I wasn't planning on telling you…it jus came out."
"Well you opened you mouth, so now you finish. I suggest…"
"I was 13." She cut me off. "My mom baked me a cake and decorated the kitchen with ribbons and confetti. Father…" she took a shaky breath and her right hand started shaking. "Father was there too."
"So what happened?" her shaking become worse and she hid her right hand behind her back, but her knee started to bouncing.
"Nothing…nothing happened. It was just a simple 'happy birthday' by my parents. Nothing happened, nothing happened, nothing happened" she repeated a few more times as if trying to convince herself, rather than me. She retuned her hands to her lap and with her left hand grabbed her knee as if trying to stop it from bouncing.
"It's alright Bella." I said and she shook her head. I grabbed her shaky right hand in mine and her gaze turned to me. Her eyes were soft, but full of hurt and worry. "It's alright."
We returned our attention to the TV.
"Has your family called you?" she asked and I moaned in annoyance.
"Probably, I sort of snuck out of my room, but I'm sure when they see my Volvo still home and notice my absence in school and at the house, they'll start asking. If I'm lucky, they'll worry." I said while staring at the TV.
"You're so sure of their dislike for you."
"Yes, I am."
"Then why don't you leave? You're 18. Don't foster care children get to leave when they're 18?" She asked and I held my eyes on the TV. I didn't even know what we were watching anymore.
"I don't leave, because I have no money that's really mine. It's their money. Besides, I have to finish school first."
"Can they sill have custody over you?"
"They adopted us when we turned 14. I just keep telling everyone they are our foster parents, because that's how I knew them first and it's stuck in my head. Also…" I sighed. "By saying they are my legal parents now, its like slapping my real mother in the face and spitting at her for being such a fucked up mother. She was such a fucked up mother that I had to replace her." I said and Bella stayed silent. "You probably think I need to grow up and get the fuck over it. You probably think I'm just a whiney teenager with problems. Go ahead! That's just how I feel."
"No! I understand you. I would probably do the same." She said lowly and I finally turned and looked at her. She was looking down at her arm and with one of her hands was tracing one of her bruises with her index finger.
"Do they hurt?" I asked and she didn't look up.
"Only for a few days and after I just have these stupid spots that remind me of what happened. That's worse." She said and finally looked up at me. "But they eventually go away. The bruises in my mind won't go away. They're worse. I wish they would go away." She sadly smiled at me and I scooted my way closer to her. I gently took her arm and my right index finger I softly circled the same bruise she was attending to earlier. Her pale skin goose bumped and her breathing quickened.
"Don't be scared Bella. Not everyone is out there to hurt you. It might be hard for you to believe. But I won't ever hurt you. I swear." I said looking into those big brown eyes of hers.
"I'm not scared of you, Edward. Not anymore. I trust that you won't." She whispered causing a warm weight on my chest and a strange feeling of excitement. I smiled at her and she returned a soft smile.
I won.
The sudden realization filled me with guilt and I wanted to get up and walk away before I broke my promise to her, but I couldn't. My body didn't move and I didn't mind.
I don't mind. I want to stay.
I won. Bella trusts me. I can see it in her eyes and in her smile.
But why do I feel so shitty? Aren't I supposed to feel good that I won the impossible game of that was winning Bella's trust?
I stared at her and her eyes were fixated with me as well. I stared at the way her cheeks were blushed and full, plum lips were no longer being punished by her teeth. She had stopped breathing and I chuckled. I was about to make a joke when the sound of an engine roared into her house's drive way. Bella's eyes widened and she jumped off the bed and ran to her balcony and looked out the glass door.
"Oh my god…oh my god…oh my god, he's here!" she looked terrified. Her right hand started shaking again. "Oh my god and you're here and I'm not in school and…oh my god what am I going to do?" I quickly got up from the bed, ignoring my body's protests and walked to her. I held her by her shoulders and she jumped.
"Bella calm down! He won't find me in here. He didn't last time. Just make some story up…I don't know, tell him that they let you get out of school early today because you were ahead."
"He won't believe that!"
"Well at least try! I'm here now. If he tries anything, I'll be here. Just scream and I'll kick his ass."
"You're hurt!"
"So…" In that moment we both heard the front door open.
"Shit…" she said and her eyes reddened and she began to shake harder.
"Bella breathe!" I whispered loudly.
"You have…you have to…you have to…you have to hide." She said pushing me back. "Get in my closet again and stay in there until I tell you its okay to come out!" she said and stopped walking right before I entered the closet.
"I'm not hiding like a big pussy this time!"
"You're not a pussy. Just hide! You would only make it worse for both of us."
"Do you promise to scream if he starts hitting you?" She took a deep breath. "Promise me you will Bella!"
"I promise!" She said and finally managed to push me into the closet closing the door in my face again. I heard the door to her room close and her light steps heading down the stairs.
Time is a bitch.
I paced in the tiny space that was Bella's closet. I began to hyperventilate and sweat ran down my face. I felt like puking my heart out and punching a wall.
Why doesn't she come back already?
I sat in her closet and stared at her green sweater.
Fucking green sweater! Fucking Converse, they were in my ass! I was sitting on them and I didn't have the space to move them. Fucking smell of strawberries! I had to get out of here! What if Bella did scream and I didn't hear her? She's probably too far away and I can't hear her. I have to get out of here.
I opened the closet door and gently, but quickly made my way to her room's door and placed my ear against it.
Nothing.
I tried opening the door, but it was locked.
Damn Bella, you traitor! You promised! I pushed my anger for her away and began to think of the worse.
Shit! What if he killed her? What if he was still pissed about last night and kicked her ass so bad that he killed her? It would be my fault! I ran to her balcony door and I was about to open it to go find her, when Charles walked out to his cruiser with two suit cases, one in each hand. He looked pissed and tired as hell, but that didn't prevent him from looking violent as he threw his suit cases into his car. He roughly got into his cruiser and took off.
I turned back into Bella's room, when someone unlocked her door from the outside. When her head poked in I sighed in relief. I didn't even let her walk into her room completely when I walked towards her.
"What the hell Bella? I was fucking suffocating with the fucking worry. You could have at least come by and let me know you were alright! And then you fucking locked the fucking door! How was I going to fucking get to you? Do you not fucking think?" I yelled and she looked at me confused.
"Uh…don't worry. He didn't do anything, so I didn't need for you to get to me. Calm down!" she said back and furrowed her eyebrows.
"But he could have."
"But he didn't."
"You know what? Whatever!" I said and she smiled. "What the fuck you smiling about?"
"You look funny when you're mad." My face fell and I tried to straighten it, only causing her to laugh. I couldn't help but smile at her laughter.
"Bella just a few minutes you were…"
"I know, but Father is leaving for the rest of the week!" she squealed. In a normal situation, a girl would be sad for her father leaving, but for Bella, it was a blessing.
"Where to?"
"To Seattle, he has this meeting that they barely told him about, but he left!" she said again and I smiled at her. She looked adorable when she was all jumpy for joy.
Adorable?
"Well that's good news."
"Hell yes!" she said and walked to her bed and sat down. "I'm sorry I didn't come let you out. He had me cook for him while he got ready to leave. I didn't trust you would stay in here so I had to lock the door. I was so nervous and scared shitless that he would come up here, but he didn't. I kept trying to keep my eyes on him. But…" she sighed looking down. "He didn't make it up here." She said and suddenly looked at up at me again. "Are you hungry? I made some sandwiches."
"I just ate."
"Oh well, if you get hungry let me know…unless you're gonna leave already."
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No…I mean…it's up to you. You're welcome to stay." She said when I heard my phone ring.
"Shit, where's my phone?" Bella stood up and opened a drawer on her night stand and pulled it out. She handed it to me and I groaned when I saw the name on the screen.
Alice
Was my family too scared to call me? They had my sister call me? I pressed the green button and answered.
"Yes."
"Oh my god Edward! Where have you been? I called home to ask how you were feeling when Esme said you weren't in your room. I told her that you weren't in school and she said she guessed that because your Volvo was home. But then she started panicking because you were not in the house and…"
"Alice calm down. I'm alright and yes I'm feeling better."
"Where are you?"
"Um…" I couldn't tell her the truth. She would think my reasons were something else. "It doesn't matter. I'm fine I swear."
"Well are you going to be home tonight?"
"Was Esme crying?"
"Yeah…" she whispered into the phone. "And Carlisle didn't look too happy."
"Well…no. I won't be. But tell them to not worry and that I just need some time alone."
"You can't hide Edward."
"I can sister and I will for today." I said and ended the call. I turned to face Bella. She was staring at her feet as if she wasn't trying to listen to my conversation. "Can…can I stay here for tonight? I don't want to go home today. My family is pretty pissed at me right now and they wouldn't guess I was here so they won't find me. I mean if you don't want me to…"
"It's fine. I'll sleep on the floor."
"Are you stupid? No, it's your room and your house. I'm the homeless asshole so I deserve the floor."
"You aren't homeless and nobody deserves the floor."
"Just let me do something good today. Let me sacrifice myself for your sleep!" I said and she rolled her eyes and nodded.
Bella and I spent the rest of the day watching TV and babbling about random shit and bickering about things we didn't agree on, which were a lot of things. She fed me and I felt like a complete jackass having her cook for me, but she insisted. After I tasted her food, I put away my pride and gobbled that shit down! It was amazing. She gave me aspirin and ice for my face. I almost didn't recognize my puffy face when I first looked at myself in the mirror. I asked Bella if the gash on top of my left eye would turn into a scar, would she find it sexy and she giggled and rolled her eyes.
She locked the door again, when her mom finally got home. An hour later she came back and informed me that her mom spends all her time in her own room, so I didn't have to worry, but I would have to whisper. I ignored all my calls after Alice called me, because it either was Esme, Emmett or Alice again. Esme left me a voice mail saying she wouldn't call the cops to find me, because I was already in trouble with them and besides they probably wouldn't look for me since I was 18. But she would look for me if I spent another day away. I deleted that message.
Night came and Bella set me up with pillows and a comforter on the floor and a teddy bear. I flipped her off and threw the teddy bear at her and she giggled. I could get use to that sound. It was lovely.
What the hell Cullen? Since when are things 'lovely', you fag?
Since Bella laughs. Get the fuck over yourself!
We laid there in silence. I on the floor and she on her bed. I wondered if she was sleepy or if she couldn't sleep because I was here.
"Bella?"
"Hmm" I heard her and I smiled to myself as I lay on the floor.
"You awake?"
"Nah, I'm just talking in my damn sleep Cullen. I'm cool like that."
"You're a fucking smart ass Bella."
"Hmm, you'll live." I chuckled.
"Bella?"
"Edward?" she asked and I chuckled again. This girl…
"Thank you." She didn't answer back. I stared at the ceiling and took a deep breath. "I owe you for three lives to come." She giggled again.
"Only three?"
"Okay, maybe five, but that doesn't sound enough either."
"Don't exaggerate Edward. I did what anybody with a heart and conscious would have done."
"No, you did so much more than that."
"If you insist Edward, I guess I am an angel." She said sarcastically.
"I thought you said that one day in the library that you would have left me where you found me? You lied!" I said in a playful angry tone.
"Um I guess I don't know myself. I can't make up my mind."
"Well I know you."
"You do? Ha!" She said and I sighed in annoyance. "Okay, what do you know about me?"
"Enough to know you wouldn't have left me where you found me." I said and she stayed silent. I wish I could see her face to see what she was thinking. A few minutes passed and I still wasn't asleep.
"Edward?"
"Hmm?"
"Are you awake?"
"No Bella, I just hold full conversations in my sleep."
"Smart ass!" She said and I chuckled. "How's the floor treating you?"
"My ass hurts and my neck is killing me. Besides that I'm good."
"Well you wanted to be the hero. I warned you."
"Yeah you did, get over yourself."
"Um…uh…you…um"
"Spit it out Bella."
"Um you can lay with me…I mean I will be on my end and you can be on your end. You can put all those pillows between us if you want." She babbled and I chuckled.
"Nah, it's your bed. It would be very shitty of me to do that."
"Whatever, just don't say I didn't offer." She said and I tried closing my eyes, but it was working. After a few minutes, my ass, neck and back were begging me to quit being such a prideful douche bag and snuggle with Bella.
Snuggle? You fag!
Fuck you, my ass cheeks hurt!
I sat up grabbing my pillow and walked over to her bed. Bella was lying on one of the edges of the bed wrapped in her covers and I smiled to myself and snuck into the bed.
"I guess you're being shitty?" Bella mumbled half asleep with her eyes closed.
"Yep, shitty is my middle name."
"I don't mind." She mumbled again and I didn't answer back. I let her sleep. I lay facing her and in matter of seconds, my nose was filled by her strawberry scent and her warm breath. I swallowed and ignored the warm fuzzy fucking feeling I got when I stared at Bella sleeping. A curl from her hair fell on her face and she wiggled her nose as it probably tickled. I chuckled lightly and removed the strand of hair and gently placed it behind her ear.
I don't know how long I just lay there, staring at her face. It kept me up, but when I finally did fall asleep, it was as if her peace took over me as well. I had never slept so well in my life. Nothing ached or bothered me. It was warm and comfortable.
I woke up as it started to get hot and I realized it was because the freaking sun was shinning on my face.
Fuck, what time is it? I looked around and patted the bed and found no Bella. There was a note on her pillow and I grabbed it.
Sorry I didn't wake you for school. But you looked too comfortable. I thought you would need another day to recover. Quite frankly Cullen you still look like shit. I doubt you can dazzle the girls with that face.
I chuckled. "Fuck you Bella!" I said to the note.
I left you some food on the night stand and my mother isn't home. She left early for her book club thing again. I'll be back during lunch. Oh and if you decide to go back home, take your nasty ass clothes.
Sincerely your smart ass,
B
P.S You snore like a damn lion!
I chuckled again. I like playful Bella. She isn't paranoid and actually seems alive.
Sure enough there was food on the night stand. I ate that shit like it was my last meal. Bella seriously needs to look into a career in the culinary arts.
I watched TV most of the morning, wondering if I should go back home and if I do, what the hell do I say or do? Esme would beg me to get some kind of bullshit help while Carlisle would ignore me or kick me out. Bella wouldn't possibly allow me to hide here for the rest of the school year. My best friend, who lately I've lost touch with, Jasper was also not an option. His parents hate me and I hate their daughter Rosalie.
I had nowhere to go.
Now that I was alone with Bella gone, I began to feel that stupid feeling again and the thoughts of having nowhere to go were down right depressing me. I stood up and began looking Bella's different drawings. Now that I wasn't so fucked up, I could appreciate them more. There was a lot to appreciate about Bella's art. She captured so much emotion in people's face. She captured emotion even in animals. Apparently her favorite animal was the wolf. She had drawings of Native Americans running through the woods with a pack of wolves following close behind. She had another one where a Native American man was jumping in mid air and half his body was transforming into a wolf.
"Cool. A shape shifter." I whispered to myself.
I got to her dresser on which her TV rested on. Bella didn't have much crap like Alice did on her dresser. She just had a comb and hair things which I didn't what they were for, but whatever. One of her drawers was slightly opened and peeked in.
This is really fucked up. It's her shit!
I know, but I'm curious. Maybe I'll find a vibrator or something. I chuckled to myself. Besides, its not like Bella would have anything horrible or something that would need to be hidden and she'll never know.
I opened the drawer more and stuck my hand in it taking out the first thing I saw. It was a small photo album.
See pictures…its not that bad.
I opened it to the first set of pictures. They were pictures of a woman carrying a baby with brown hair and big brown eyes. I guessed it was Bella as the baby looked just like her. I turned to another page and there was baby Bella again in the arms of a Native American man in a wheel chair. In another page, toddler Bella sat in a puddle of mud with a little Native American boy. I chuckled lightly at the picture. Bella looked cute.
A cute? Are you kidding? Do James and Charles hit that hard? You turned into fluff!
I turned to another page. It was an older Bella. She looked much younger than now, but a little fuller in the cheeks. She had her arm wrapped the woman from the earlier picture but this time the woman looked older…more tired. I turned to another picture. It was Bella with a group of Native American kids probably from La Push. She had her arm around some boy with long black hair and that boy had his arm around another Native American girl. They were making funny faces at the camera and I could feel the smile creeping to my lips. Bella had her tongue sticking out and was giving the boy bunny ears. It was strange seeing a carefree Bella. It was almost unthinkable.
I turned the page when a piece of plastic fell out of the book and landed on the floor. I set the photo album down and picked the piece of plastic and when I turned it over, I realized it was a hospital bracelet.
Name: Isabella Swan-DOB 09/13/1992-White/Caucasian-Female
Admission-09/13/2005
I quickly did the math, Bella was 13.
I looked into her drawer and found a yellow manila folder. I grabbed it.
I shouldn't.
You shouldn't you asshole! It's not your shit to look through!
Bella said something about when she was 13. I have to know.
I shouldn't have opened the damn folder.
I should have listened to my inner voice for once.
The folder was full of hospital records and bills.
As I read the notes and diagnoses, I felt my stomach turn.
Two broken ribs, fractured left cheek bone, punctured lips, fractured skull and fractured nose.
Heavy blood loss from cracked skull.
It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't read the patient's name
Isabella Swan
I suddenly felt a cold sweat as I turned the page. I few Polaroid pictures fell into my hands. A badly bruised and bloody female face. Her lips were cut, both her eyes were closed shut from the swelling and both were black and blue. Her face was covered in blood.
Fucking blood.
It was her.
It was Bella.
She was just a kid.
I took one picture in my now shaky hand.
Oh my god Bella. This shit…this shit is wrong.
I felt the tears accumulate in my eyes. I let out a shaky breath.
"What the fuck are you doing with that!" I whipped my eyes to Bella. She was standing at her door. I stopped breathing and my mouth fell open at the look in her eyes.
She was enraged. Her eyes were red and she was breathing heavily.
"Edward, what the fuck are you doing with that? Answer me damn it!" She screamed and I jumped.
"Be…Be…Bella" I managed to whisper. She angrily walked toward me and snatched the folder out of my hands. I didn't even have time to react. I stood their, frozen with my hands still in place as if they were still holding the folder. I just couldn't believe it. That can't be real. It's too fucked up. "Get the fuck out of my room! Get the fuck out of my house!" She yelled and stepped back away from. She froze as she realized I was looking at the pictures.
She held the folder in her shaky hands and tears pored to the pictures with light dripping noises. Her lower lip began to tremble and she started rocking back and forth on her feet. Her eyes stayed glued on the pictures and I didn't know what to do. I'm such a fucking idiot! I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath and sniffed.
"Bella…" I whispered but she didn't answer. "Bella, who did that you? Was it…was it him?" I asked and her face crumbled. She dropped the folder causing for all the papers and pictures to scatter all around the floor. Bella began to shake a bit more violently than usual and began gasping for air. "Bella! Are you okay? What's wrong?" I yelled, but she didn't answer me.
Instead, she fell on her knees and her face returned to the blankness I hated. I fell on my knees, ignoring the pain that caused and gently put my hands on her cheeks.
"Bella, talk to me! Bella please come back. Come back! Come back to me Bella!" I said rubbing circles on her cheeks with my thumbs. She let out a loud whimper, her face crumbled and she finally began to cry. I pulled her to my chest and wrapped my arms around her. She buried her face into my chest and let it out.
"Just let out Bella. Let it out." I whispered into her hair and Bella's arms wrapped around my waist.
Ok, so if you guys don't hate me yet for giving you some fluff and then throwing sudden angst at you, please review. Or if you hate me already, leave me reviews and I promise happiness…one day. Ha ha
Ok, so a few days ago I was feeling a bit low because twilighted promises me that they will validate my story and that it might take a while, but its been longer than a while, but then I was brought back to happiness by crazyj9girl.
GUYS! Please, pretty please check out my profile on here, FF(dot)net, and please check out crazyj9girl's fuck awesome banner for ATTY. It seriously captured the story's feeling and made me cry. Thankfully I was writing this chapter when she sent it to me, serving me as inspiration. Thank you crazyj9girl. I owe you for the next three lives.
Ha ha, besides the exaggeration, I plead for reviews as I have no shame.