Sorry for the long wait. I haven't been in the head space lately. Bad moods and frustrating days at my boring job…ugh…college is about start again…I could go on.

But you are not to blame so here is Bella…and we'll see where Renee really went. Some of your theories surprised me and some made me giggle. Glad you want the worst for Renee…sort of.

Ch17/Bella/Gone

"I'm going to hurt you."

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because, who else? It's you. You're the one."

"I don't want you to hurt me."

"I don't either."

"But you will."

"I know"

"I didn't ask for you."

"I know that as well."

"You made me like you."

"I know."

"Do you even like me?"

"….."

"Its fine, I know you don't."

"Then…why am I here?"

"I don't know. I just want my friend back. You said you were my friend and that you would protect me."

"I didn't lie."

"But you will."

"I'm going to hurt you."

"I know."

I suddenly woke up.

My heart raced and I couldn't catch my breath. The pounding in my head and my aching bruised eye didn't let me sleep. When I had managed to doze off I dreamt of him.

I would dream of Edward.

I saw myself with my Edward. He smelled, sounded, looked, and felt like Edward. My Edward never tried to kiss me. He never kissed me period! But this Edward...

Kissed me

He would do it in my dreams, but I would quickly panic and push him away. He would give me his crooked smile and I knew he was playing with me. This wasn't my Edward and that's why I couldn't trust him.

I peaked at my clock and I realized it was almost time for school. I could smell the eggs and bacon coming from down stairs. The sharp pain in the left side of my face reminded me of what had happened last night. I wondered if Father was home. I wondered if mom was alright, though I shouldn't care.

I could feel him shifting in my bed and his warmth on my back. He sighed.

Edward was still here.

Edward was awake.

I wanted to toss and turn in my bed so I could find a more comfortable position, but I didn't want to face him.

I didn't want to look at him.

I was too embarrassed and confused.

A part of me wanted to shout at him and demand for the reason behind his kiss. But I was too much of a coward. I didn't want a negative response, though I already knew it was. I just didn't want hear it coming from his lips. I had never kissed anybody and I still haven't. Out of confusion and fear, I did not kiss him back.

I wish I had, because it will never happen again.

He felt bad for you. That is all this is. He feels bad. If he had never seen when you got humiliated by the man who created you, he wouldn't even be here. He would have never kissed you. He just feels bad. He has pity for you.

He does. He does. He does. He didn't mean anything he said. His lips didn't mean to gently graze mine. His lips…

His warm and soft lips…

They aren't for me. Why would they be? He just feels pity!

He does! I'm nothing to him. I don't want his pity!

I groaned and grabbed my head with my hands. I rolled into a ball as the pain was too much. My head wanted to explode and my damn inner voice wouldn't shut the fuck up.

"Bella?" He whispered. He gently placed one of his lovely hands on my shoulder. "You alright?" he whispered into my neck, causing chills in my skin. I sighed and removed my hands from my head.

Suddenly the pain wasn't so bad.

"I'm fine." I muttered and slowly sat up. I still wasn't looking at him.

"Your eye looks worse. But that's part of the process. It'll get better in few days." He said in a monotone voice. He wasn't trying to convince me of the positive with his voice, like he usually did when he wanted me to feel better.

What's wrong with him?

I placed my right hand over my bruised eye and turned to look at him. He was still and silent. He stared at me with a blank look on his face. "Hey." He said, again with no emotion. His bronze hair was a mess, stubble covered his beautiful jaw line and the dark shadows under his eyes, made the green pop.

He was tired as hell.

"Hey," I whispered back. "You look tired." He shrugged.

"I didn't sleep all night. I kept waiting for your father."

"Edward!" I gasped.

"Don't worry. He didn't come back." He said taking his eyes away from me. He looked upset. I hoped I didn't cause this. I hope that kiss didn't ruin us.

Us? What the heck is us?

I just hope he doesn't act different with me. He didn't mean that kiss. It was just in the moment. It's not going to happen again. He shouldn't be freaked out by it. I promise I'll forget it!

He sat up and ran his hands through his hair and sighed loudly.

"I have to go home and get ready for school. Text me when you get there and if you father comes back, call me." He said and stretched his arms and looked at me again. No hint of friendliness or a smile. He looked…mad. "I um…I'll see you at school. Please…text me so I'll know that you made it." He said and with that walked to my balcony door and left.

I hope his bad mood doesn't last long.

I took a shower after throwing away the Hot Pocket and the now unfrozen bag of peas. I looked at myself in the mirror and almost hissed. My eye was almost closed shut and now was completely purple and blue.

People are going to ask.

I fell.

I grabbed my bag, took one last look out my balcony door to check if he was home.

He wasn't.

I almost cried in relief.

I made my way downstairs and didn't expect to see her waiting for me. But she was.

"Good morning, baby." My mother said warmly. She gave me a soft smile and I jerked my eyes away from her and headed straight to the door. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

I refused to look at her.

I still felt so much anger, still. I wasn't strong enough. I knew if I looked at my mother in the eyes and if she asked me to, I would. I would forgive her easily.

"Bella, baby…aren't you gonna eat breakfast? I made it just for you. I also made you lunch. I know I never do, but..." I kept walking. She wanted to make it up to me with food? She was insane. "Is he gone yet?"

I stopped walking. I stared straight ahead, holding my breath.

"Is Edward gone yet?" My mother asked with no hint of malice or anger in her voice.

I didn't answer. My throat was dry and I was pretty sure my good eye was wide open and my mouth was just the same.

"A few nights ago, I wanted to talk you." My mother whispered and took a few steps towards me. "I wanted to have a mother and daughter talk." She chuckled sadly and I kept my eyes on the wall. "But when I opened your door, I found you laying in the arms of a boy. I wanted to yell at you and ask what the hell that boy was doing in your bed. But then I really opened my eyes and I saw you. You were both asleep. You with your head on his chest and your arms around his wait and he held you so close I knew you were safe. You looked so peaceful. The both of you." She whispered and was about to place a hand on my back, but I roughly pulled away. She held in a sob.

"I…" she sniffed. "I couldn't bring myself to ruin that for you. I never asked you because I didn't want you to think you had to end it…"

"There is nothing to end!" I shouted. "How do you know his name?" I asked under my breath. I tried to compose myself. I knew I was caught but I didn't know what consequences this had for me.

"Last night, after you ran to your room…"

"What? I ran?"

"You don't remember, baby?" I shook my head. "You were on the floor and I knew you weren't fully conscious. Charles was going to kick you when I threaten to tell his boss. He was going to hit me when the phone rang. You jumped up and ran to your room. You scared me, baby. You looked so…not you. It looked like you were possessed." She said and I gasped. I bit down on my lip, trying to hide my own sob.

I fucking need help.

"Charles left saying he had something to do and I tried to get into your room to look at your eye, because I knew it was probably swollen, but you wouldn't open the door. You kept shouting that you hated me." She choked the last part.

"I said that?" I asked in disbelief. I would think about hating my mother once in a while, but I never meant it. I couldn't.

I don't…

"Don't worry, baby. You were mad and I deserve every bit of your anger…and even your hate. I know it even though it hurts like hell." She cried and I still couldn't bring myself to look at her. "I went to look for Phil…"

"Phil?" I could hear the anger in my voice.

"He's used to be a med student. I thought he could look at your eye."

"I don't need him!" I yelled and she shushed me.

"Baby, calm down. When I came back with him, I could hear you talking to Edward in your room."

I hoped to god she hadn't heard what I had talked to him about.

"I didn't hear what you were talking about, but I did hear when you called him Edward. I told Phil to forget about it and he left." She neared me again. "It seems Edward took care of it. It doesn't look that bad." She said moving a strand from my hair behind my ear to uncover my eye.

We said nothing.

There was so much I wanted to tell her and I knew there was plenty of stuff she wanted to say, but we both held it in. We would regret this some day and I knew that. But I didn't say anything. I was afraid my anger for her would cloud my senses and make things worse. Nothing could my relationship with my mother any worse, but I couldn't take the risk.

She was and is all I have.

Even if she doesn't think the same way.

She placed the brown lunch bag in my hands and gave me some pills Phil had given her for me. She said it was for the pain. I stuffed the pills in my pocket, swearing to myself that I wouldn't take them. It was my pride. I still had some left.

I made it to my truck and turned back to see my mom at the door. Her face was broken and her eyes were red. I swallowed any guilt or pity I felt for her and left for school.

I squinted my way through the streets.

I could make out shapes and colors, but everything was so blurry and I couldn't read things from far away. I couldn't see people's faces. I didn't notice that it was Angela Weber waving at me at school. It wasn't until she rushed to me asking what had happened to my eye that I realized it was her.

I told her the story I had up made up on my way to school.

I slipped and fell. I slammed my face into a pole.

Angela gasped and expressed her worry and I waved it off, saying I was 'fine.'

I'm fine.

People stared at me and some even made jokes about my eye, but I didn't pay much attention to them. I looked for Edward, but there were no signs of him. My first period teachers asked if I needed to see the nurse and I said no. I knew I was screwed. I couldn't take notes because I couldn't see the board and my head was pounding so I heard nothing the teachers said.

I passed by Alice's locker on my way to lunch, hoping to catch Edward, but all I got was a pitiful look from Alice. She didn't ask or looked surprised like everyone else.

Has Edward told her anything? He wouldn't have!

I made it my usual lunch table. Edward and the rest of the Cullens and whore gang hadn't made it to their table yet. I opened my lunch bag and found a sandwich, apple and a note from my mother.

I'm sorry. Though my pleading won't fix anything and won't take away the pain, I will beg for your forgiveness until the end of time. I love you baby. I wish I was as strong as you are. I could take you away forever, but I can't. I promise to never let anything bad happen to you again. I swear.

Love,

Mom

I crumpled the note and stuffed it in the brown bag. I could feel the tears in my eyes and the knot in my throat, but I pushed them away. How dare she do this? And in a note? She's a coward!

I whipped my eyes away from my untouched sandwich to Alice and Jasper. They walked in hand in hand with Emmett and Rosalie following close behind. They sat at their table and talked until Tanya and her whore gang joined them.

Still no Edward.

They all laughed and talked, but Alice just stared at her lunch with a blank expression on her face. Jasper seemed to ask her something, but she just shook her head and looked towards me. I quickly looked down at my sandwich.

Why was she so sad? Why is she looking at me?

A few minutes later, Edward finally walked into the cafeteria with his head down, not once looking at my direction. He sat next to Alice and Jasper and said something to Alice and she responded which caused him to look at me. I smiled at him, but he didn't return the smile. He still looked tired and now even more pissed. He looked away again.

It reminded me of when we weren't friends. It reminded me of how it used to be. Embarrassed and pained by his sudden cold shoulder, I took my lunch and left the lunch room.

Because that's what I do. If I find myself in a painful situation, I leave. When Father decides he wants to take his frustration out with me, I leave. My mind leaves while he hits my body. When Edward decided that he was pissed at me, I left. Body and soul, I left.

I went to my tree and nibbled on my sandwich, not really hungry. A part of me wished and waited for Edward. A part of me thought he would join me out here like he did last time. He would look for me. He would talk to me.

But he didn't.

I wondered if I had caused this.

Maybe he was just not feeling well today. Maybe he was tired.

Maybe he just doesn't want to be near me anymore.

During art, Mr. Freeman kept staring at me with a confused look on his face. He didn't ask what had happened, but I knew he ached to know. I sat with Alice and Angela.

Well they sat with me.

I thought that they wouldn't want to sit with me this week, but instead of inviting me, they invited themselves. Angela acted sweet as usual, but Alice acted different. She was quiet and frowned the whole class period. That was not like her.

Class was over and as I made my way to the door, Mr. Freeman asked to stay back.

Shit.

"Bella, I wanted to wait until the class was over to ask and you probably already know what I'm going to ask. But,"

"I fell."

"You fell?" I could feel the heat behind my ears and my racing heart.

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Is that it?" I asked. I knew I was shaking. I knew he could see that.

"Yes." He whispered and as I was about to make my way to the door, he spoke again. "If you didn't fall and this is more serious...you can tell me Bella. I can help you."

"I know." Was the only thing I said and I left.

I was late for English, but luckily there was a substitute, so she didn't give me any shit about being late. I made my way to my desk finding a still very pissed looking Edward, slumping down his chair. He didn't look at me as I reached my chair or said anything. I held back the tears of frustration and decided to play the silent game as well.

We didn't speak during the whole class period. I didn't take any notes as I couldn't see the board, yet again. I could move up or ask the substitute for the notes, but why would I want that kind of attention on me. I squinted and caught some of the things the teacher had left for us to write. Angela noticed my problem and handed me her notes. She asked where my glasses were and I simply said they had broken.

I was part of the truth at least.

Class ended and Edward was the first one to exit the class. I sighed and grabbed my stuff. I made it out of the school building and headed to my truck. I knew Edward didn't want to stay after school. He probably didn't want anything with me anymore. I shoved my stuff into my truck in frustration. I decided that the day could have gone worse. I didn't get any shit from Tanya or Rosalie and not many people cared for what happened to my eye, but Edward's coldness and silence had made everything worse than what I had imagined. Now I had to get back home and face the monster that did this to my eye.

I slammed my passenger door and placed my forehead against the window.

"Why are you crying?" his velvety voice asked.

I'm crying because I'm pathetic and because of you! You asshole!

"My head hurts." I lowly said and looked at him. He didn't look as upset as before, more like sad.

"I cry when I have headaches too." He said and I rolled my eyes…or my good eye. I rolled something!

"Wow, you're making fun of me. At least you're talking to me." I said and headed to the driver's side. I opened the door just to have it shut by him.

"We aren't doing tutoring today?" he asked and I wanted to slap the shit out of him, but it didn't happen.

"I didn't think you wanted to."

"Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. I just did!" I shouted and opened my door again and yet again he slammed it shut. I sighed…loudly.

I stood there, huffing at my reflection on my window. My eye didn't look that bad, but it wasn't pretty either. I didn't move and neither did he.

"Why didn't you call or text me when you got here?" he asked lowly but I could tell he was angry.

Oh.

"I forgot and I forgot my phone." I really had. I was so worried about what people would say or ask about my eye, that I had completely forgotten to text him.

"Do you know how fucking worried I was?" he roughly whispered. "You didn't answer your phone. I was late to school because I had to pass by your house just to make sure your father wasn't there and that you had safely left. It wasn't until Alice texted me that I found out that you were here."

"Alice? Why couldn't you just look for me here?" I was still staring at myself in my truck's window.

"You don't understand Bella." He muttered.

"No, apparently I don't!" I half shouted. He was pissing me off. He slowly walked as close to me as he could. He took my hand in his and intertwined our fingers. He placed his forehead against the side of my head and took in a shaky breath.

I quickly wondered if there was anybody watching us, but I had parked far away and there were hardly people left as everybody scattered when the school bell had rung. He gently pulled me closer to his body with his free hand and wrapped his arm around my waist. It was an "almost" hug. He let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around me, finally.

And I let him.

I needed this.

I laid my head against his chest and closed my eyes, hoping this wasn't a dream. He placed his chin on top of my head and held me tighter.

"I was so fucking worried, Bella." He whispered into to my hair. There was no more anger in his voice, just worry. "Don't ever do that shit again. I have to know. I have to know that you're safe or I'll fucking lose it."

"I'm sorry." I said in all honesty. I hated the pain in his voice. I wanted to comfort him, but his warmth and scent held me together. I felt that if he let me go, I would surely break. He gently pulled me away from his chest and I could feel the ache in my chest.

The ache didn't last long as he cupped my face with his hands and pulled me close again. He placed his forehead against mine. His breath hit my face and I closed my eyes thinking this would make it last longer. He wiped the tears I didn't realize were escaping my eyes with his thumbs and sighed. I placed my hands on his chest and felt how fast his heart raced. I held onto to him, wishing he wouldn't pull me away ever again.

"I have to go." He whispered. "My parents want me home early today. I'll try my best to come to you tonight."

"It's okay." I whispered covering one of his hands with mine. I tried to hide my disappointment, but he seemed to notice anyway.

"I promise. Okay?"

"Okay." He pulled away and I opened my eyes to find his face soft and warm.

"You feel alright today?" he asked and I nodded. "That's good. Don't worry about your dad. Alice left school early and said that he wasn't at your house."

"Alice? You keep saying Alice. Does she know? Did you tell her? Why would…"

"No!" he said, cutting me off. He took a deep breath and took my hands again. "I just asked her to do me the favor. She doesn't know anything." I nodded letting him know that I believed him and he gave me a small smile and let go of my hands again.

"I'll see you." I whispered and he nodded. He walked away and I could already feel the ache in my chest.

I had become too needy of him.

I need him more than I had realized.

This morning and all day had been shit until this moment.

He made it better and I was scared. I feared that only Edward could make me feel better. What would I do if he decided not to be my friend anymore? What would I do without him? This was too dangerous.

But I need him.

I couldn't deny it to myself anymore. I need Edward. I need him so much.

As I made my way to my house, I could see police cruisers and lights flashing. There were five police cruisers at my house and a black car with the letters "FBI" on the side of the doors. My heart stopped and I started to worry about my mother. I parked my truck and rushed to my house. A man in a black suit stopped me.

"I'm FBI agent John Molina. Are you Isabella Swan?"

"Yes, where's my mother?" I shouted and he signaled with his hands for me to calm down.

"We will have to speak to you about your father, Charles Swan."

"Where's my mother? Is she hurt? What happened?" I was panicking and this man wasn't giving me any answers.

"She's alright. Calm down Isabella."

"My name is Bella! I want to see my mom."

"She's inside. You can speak to her, but we are taking you and her to the police station." I ignored him and ran into my house.

There were pieces of Father's clothing scattered around the entrance of my house. I found my mother crying on the kitchen table while another two men in suits asked her questions and a few police officers looked through our stuff.

"Mom!" I said and my mother's face turned to mine and she jumped up. She ran to me and wrapped her arms around me. She pulled me tight and cried into my shoulder.

"He's gone baby. These men are looking for your father."

"What?" I gasped.

"You Father got home early and took some of his stuff and ran off. He was in a hurry and looked like the devil himself was after him. He said he wasn't sure if he would come back and left. He's gone baby. He's gone!" my mother cried and repeated "he's gone" a few more times while she held onto me for dear life.

He's gone.

Father is gone.

I cried with her. I didn't know if she cried because she didn't want him to leave or if she was crying because she was as happy as I was. I didn't know why the men in suits looked at us in pity or why the hell the cops were looking through our house, but I didn't care at the moment.

He's gone.

Is this how freedom feels like?

Is this how life crawls back into my mother and me?

I could feel it in my skin and bones as my mother cried with me.

It was life.

It was freedom.

He was gone.

And I am free.

Free…

I do apologize for the short chapter and semi-cliffy. The next chapter will be up during this week. I don't know exactly when, but its coming and it will be BPOV again. I did intend for this chapter to be WAY longer but decided that would delay my update even more so that is why the BPOV again. I know some of you love EPOV, but for what's to come, the next chapter has to be BPOV. Edward's behavior will piss you off if it didn't piss you off in this chapter already, but just bare with him. Right now he is one confused kid.

Again and always, thanks crazy9girl for the banner.

I got nominated for an award at twiawards(dot)webs(dot)com thanks to zdra8351 for "Angst All Around." I doubt I will win because I'm up against Wide Awake, but if you feel like I made you cry more than enough then go vote for me. It all ends August 15th. Again, zdra8351 that was really sweet of you.

P.S College is about to start for me. I work 40 hours a week and will have homework up the ass, but do not worry. This will only mean shorter chapters. I promise updates won't take weeks or months like some of my favorite ff stories. That just pisses me off. Especially because their stories rock so much more than mine. Luv you all! Hopefully you luv me to and click the review button. Until next time.