There was a time when Shep believed he would never see certain milestones in his life. A time where he laid bleeding out on the concrete floor of an abandoned warehouse, far far away from the planet he called home. The cliché elements of getting that awaited promotion, traveling to through the solar system to see the stars from a proper view, settling down, starting a family and growing old became distant ideas instead of once steady plans.
That was the factor of his impending death that scared him the most.
It wasn't until he stared into Stella's pretty green eyes that his longing for those moments to be a reality became so bittersweet. And he wanted them with her. Holding her close in his mind's creation the emotions of grief stirred inside him.
He had been content to die knowing Stella and her band-mates would make it home to safety, but now Shep could not let go. The fight was again ignited inside him. He wanted to survive to see those beautiful moments with his own eyes, alive and breathing.
Desperately clinging to the thin strings of life he has left Shep managed to pull through the night. Much longer than any of the group had expected. It was a fretful sleep as Stella slept next to him trying to quiet her tears, and Octave and Arpegius attempted to change his bandages with minimum amount of pain. But he was still alive in the morning.
While still grim, his desire for a full life became a little brighter.
To get through the pain and constant temptation to let the darkness take him, Shep dreamed of the life he wants. He saw himself sharing the view of the galaxy – their galaxy- with a blushing Stella. There's a wedding outside with Baryl, Octave and Arpegius as groomsmen. A little boy with blonde hair and his mother's green eyes.
These were his hope. His reason for survival.
The days until their salvation and eventual trip to the hospital were a blur to Shep. The hero dips in and out of consciousness. He remembers the shade on his face under a beautiful oak tree, enjoying the sun with the new companions. The feeling of anxiousness when the band tells him to rest they'll be back in just a second, and the panic when they return with an unconscious Stella. Her remembers hearing sirens. The lights being flashed into his eyes hurriedly, hushed unfamiliar voices
And then he woke up, all too aware of the pain in his chest. He did not know where he is, but with a quick glance to his right a sleeping beauty held his hand while passed out in a chair. She's blue and all natural again, too stunning for him to care if he'd died or not as long as he could remain here forever.
Shep will look back on this day as the moment he decided he wanted to be alongside her for this life and the next.
It was comforting to know that they were safe – they were going to survive now, no questions about that. But being thrown into the limelight had been terrifying – nothing in his training had prepared him for Earth reporters – but was handled with gentle coaching from the Crescendolls and the government of the area they had landed in. No longer did he have to imagine a future. No, that future was strapped securely in his hands simply waiting for the right time to emerge.
His new found treasure of a life was again threatened on the flight home. But Shep was absolutely determined now. There was no hoping, his need to live long enough to see those beautiful dreams come true was absolute.
And they made it. He had no idea how, but they made it.
He was rushed to the hospital upon landing, and remained their for a number of days. He has nightmares, and lies awake trying to make sure everything is really happening.
Stella comes to visit. Meekly she held his hand, giving a warm squeeze.
He could see the future, bright and clear.
Everything was going to be okay.