Thanks to the suggestion of a lovely reviewer, I have made it possible for anonymous readers to leave reviews. I know, I know I'm stupid for not knowing that…after all I'm still new at this but um…yeah.
Here is Bella once again.
Ch 18/Bella/The Cold One
"You mean to tell me Mrs. Swan that you lived with Mr. Swan for almost 20 years and had no idea of his illegal activities?"
"Why would I? I'm just a housewife! I was busy taking care of my daughter!"
"Calm down Mrs. Swan. We are just trying to put everything together."
"Well, why don't you start by looking for him instead of having my daughter and me in this damn place?"
Four hours.
That is how long my mother and I had been answering questions and moving from one room to another in the police station. I had never been here. It would seem I would know this place since my…since Father was the chief of police, but not once did he ever bring me here. I hardly knew what Father did besides be the "hero" of Forks.
We sat in some room with FBI Agents Molina and Copeland, while they tried to squeeze any possible information out of us. Agent Copeland was a little more direct and a complete jackass. Somehow, he had convinced himself that mom and I knew where Father had run off to. The jerk didn't know that if I knew where he was, I would be the first one pointing my finger in his direction. Molina was a little more patient and quieter. He nodded and furrowed his eyebrows and things he thought were interesting and most importantly didn't yell at us.
My mother had broken down a few times and Molina was nice enough to bring her some aspirin and water, while Copeland babbled on. I really didn't understand half of the words he was spitting at us. I hardly knew what the hell the FBI did. All I got out of Copeland's babbling was that…
I was related to a criminal.
The FBI was after Father because something they called "bankruptcy fraud." Father apparently lied to some banks a few years ago and got some loans. Loans mom had no idea about. The FBI said that they don't know what the money was used for exactly, but they knew it was for something illegal which just adds more to Father's slate of crap. Father fell in debt. Over the years that debt got huge, like mega huge. He filed for bankruptcy a few times. Apparently you're only supposed to file once. He also forgot to mention that he was married and that he had a house and that he had some assets.
Well, at least he didn't kill anybody.
Yet…
The FBI realized all of this right before the fire in La Push and when Father came on the local news to warn about the dangerous of the fire, the FBI found their man.
Molina and Copeland had decided to take a coffee brake while they "thought things over." I stayed with my mother while she cried and repeated how embarrassing all this was. At least she didn't have to go to high school in the morning.
I knew I was the daughter of a monster and now I was the girl whose dad is being chased by the freaking FBI. This had to happen to me! The only positive out of all of this is that I will no longer see Him. I smiled to myself as the realization crawled into my mind yet again. I don't know how many times I've told myself the same thing in the past four hours and find myself smiling a damn fool.
"What are you smiling about, Isabella? I don't find any of this at all funny." Copeland said as returned with a coffee cup.
I huffed and rolled my eyes. I didn't know where I had found the courage or balls, but it caused Agent Molina to chuckle.
"My name is Bella, for the hundredth time. Mr. Copeland…"
"Agent Copeland!"
"Agent Copeland, my mom and I didn't know about my father's activities. You're not going to get any information from us because we just don't have any. My mother and I are exhausted and would like to go home."
Agent Copeland wouldn't give up. He asked if Father had strange conversations on the phone, or if he had money problems or if he would spend a lot of time out of the house. We answered all we could and mother, at one point, started crying again. I wanted to shake her up, but she was probably seriously overwhelmed by all of this. I, on the other hand, was so damn happy. Strangely, but I was so damn happy.
I couldn't wait to get to the "free" world. I would have to face the eyes and rumors of the whole damn town, but I couldn't care less right now. I just wanted to be "free" for once.
Agent Copeland finally finished and we were sent home. He let us know that there would be two FBI agents in a car near our house just in case Father came back. We wouldn't be able to see them, but he would be on the lookout. Somehow, that made me feel better.
He was defiantly not coming back.
Agent Copeland exited the room, followed by my mother. I was about to meet her out in the hall when Agent Molina held his hand in my face making me stop.
"Can I ask you a question…Bella?" he asked and smiled at me. I nodded. "Who did that?" he said and slowly pointed to my eye. I quickly looked away. I didn't understand why this made me so embarrassed. The fact that my father was a being chased by the FBI wasn't embarrassing, but the fact that he kicked the shit out of me, sent me into a cloud of shame. "Come here." He said and I really wanted to shout in frustration. I just wanted to go home.
We passed my mother, who was told to wait for me, and walked into another room. Agent Molina asked me to sit on a leather chair in front of a desk as he closed the door. He sat at the desk and took out a folder. He read for a brief moment and looked at me with a soft smile.
"I understand that you visited the hospital when you were 13? Am I right?" I nodded.
"I've visited La Push and the Quileutes before. Nice folks, aren't they?"
I nodded.
"They don't look like they would do such a thing."
I nodded again.
"A few hours ago, the Forks Police received an anonymous call from someone stating that Mr. Swan is a danger to his family."
Huh?
"What?" I asked incredulously. Edward? No, he couldn't have!
"I'm going to ask Bella. Don't be afraid to answer. He's probably very far away." Molina said and sighed. "Did…he do this? All of it?" He almost whispered the damn question and I could feel myself start to shake. "Mr. Swan was under a lot of pressure, for years. He owes a lot of money. I saw your arms a moment ago. Did Charles take out his frustrations in life with you? Tell me Bella."
I nodded. I wasn't looking at him in the face. I felt the knot in my throat.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"For how long?" I wanted to tell him everything and how I've lived scared for so long. Where is my damn voice?
"Since forever…" I whispered shakily and from the corner of my eye I could see him shaking his head.
"Is this the first time you tell an authority figure?" I nodded again. "Those nice folk down at the reservation didn't send you to the hospital when you were 13. Right?"
"Right." I breathed out. I held my right hand, trying to stop the embarrassing shaking.
"I lost my little sister because of child abuse. I almost killed my own father." He said and I didn't understand why the hell he was telling me this, but I let him. "I promised Sofia, my sister, I would get the fuckers like him and I will. Don't worry Bella. We'll get him." He said standing and walking over to me. He gently patted my back. "We'll get him." He repeated and I just nodded.
I finally made it to the hall where my mother waited for me. She slowly walked to me and gave me a tight hug. We said nothing as she let go. A bald cop walked us out to the lobby. We walked holding hands and with tears in our eyes.
"I love you, baby." She whispered with a knot in her throat. We both look straight ahead while our slow steps took us to the doors.
"And I love you mom." She squeezed my hand.
"We're gonna make it, baby. I just know it."
"I know it too mom."
"We are on our own. Like you've always wanted…"
"I know…" I said trying to control my excitement.
"Are you scared?"
"Hell no." I whispered and she lowly giggled.
"Good…neither am I." I squeezed her hand this time.
As the bald cop opened the doors, Phil greeted us with a hug. I didn't even know the guy, but he acted like he was so worried about us. He was a younger guy, tanned, blue eyes and fit. Now I knew why mother liked him. He began asking my mother questions and comforting her while he helped her sit on a bench. She looked at me as if asking if it was okay and I just nodded.
"I'll wait for you outside." I said.
"I wouldn't do that, Bella. There are news reporters out there." Phil said and I sighed. I was about to sit on another bench when I heard a familiar and comforting sound.
"Bella!" His velvety voice shouted. I turned to find Edward running towards me. "Bella!" he said again even though he had already seen me. He made it to me and I thought he was going to throw me down, but instead he wrapped his arms around me and picked me up. He spun me around and pulled me tightly to him. "I fucking ran over here when I heard the cops had been at your house. I was about to go to the hospital thinking the worse when my dad told me they had brought you here." He said into my ear causing goose bumps in my skin. He finally placed me down and cupped my face with his hands.
"Are you alright? Did these fuckers hurt you? Piss you off? Push you around?" He sounded so out of breath, but before I could even open my mouth, he sighed loudly. "Shit, speak!"
"If you would let me!" I shouted and he gave me his crooked smile. His hands dropped to my shoulder. "I'm fine." I simply said and he didn't look convinced. He did still look tired as hell. He hadn't shave, making him look more of a mess.
A beautiful mess.
"I heard he's on the run." He said and I just nodded. "Don't worry, Bella. They are going to catch him."
"I'm not worried. I'm happy. He's freaking gone." I said and he shook his head.
"Don't be so naïve Bella. He can come back."
"I want to be naïve. I'm finally free of him. Can't you see that?" I said angrily and pulled away from him. He was ruining this.
"I just think you should still be alerted."
"I am." I said and he sighed while running a hand through his hair. As he moved a little, I spotted Dr. Cullen standing a few feet from us, just staring. He looked confused.
He told his dad.
"You…you told your father. Didn't you?" I asked in a whisper and Edward looked behind him. He looked back at me and didn't answer. Instead, he looked down at the floor and shook his head. "When did you decide you could tell someone?" I asked and I didn't understand the anger in my voice. I should be happy that he had the courage to tell someone and that he looked for help.
"This morning, when I went home."
"Why?"
"I told you I would get help. Besides, my dad knows people that can help and I couldn't possibly do nothing again. I had to do something. Nobody punches you and gets away with it." He said and he almost looked hurt. "You mad?"
"No."
"Are you mad at me?"
"No."
"Then why do you look pissed and why do I feel like an asshole?"
"I'm sorry. I just felt weird that someone else knew." I sighed. "Is he the one who called the cops to tell them?"
"He came all the way over here and reported it. He was pissed. He gave me an ear full for not talking earlier, but he wanted to help. He also thinks it's weird that we're friends. I made him promise he wouldn't tell anybody." He said smiling, but for some reason, his words stung.
"Of course you did. Why would you want anybody to know that you're my friend? That would be shit, right?" I said sternly and Edward's smile quickly faded away. He shook his head and he looked like he wanted to say something but instead kept it to himself. He would never have the chance to tell me whatever it was, because mom and Phil walked up to us.
"Bella, lets go home." Mom said while looking at Edward. She didn't ask about him or talk to him and for that I was grateful. I snatched my eyes away from Edward and walked with my mother, Phil and some cop who led us out the back doors to avoid the local news reporters.
Phil gave us a ride back home. He apologized that this was the way we had to first meet and I just shrugged. I still wasn't comfortable with this guy. Just because Father was gone, didn't mean he could move in and be my friendly step-father.
The entire ride was filled with chatter between mom and Phil. I stared out the window of Phil's truck. I thought of Edward. That was all I thought about lately and it was pissing me off. I don't know why I had snapped at him back at the station. I wondered if it had to do with the fact that he acted to weird today at school. I started to regret the way I acted, because I didn't want to lose his friendship. Then again, the only reason he was my friend was because he felt bad and felt that he needed to "have my back."
The only reason he wanted to be my friend was now gone.
Phil dropped us off at our house and we immediately spotted the black car.
Yes, really smooth and cautious FBI!
As we entered our house, my mom starting cleaning all the mess the damn FBI had left behind.
"Mom, leave that. It's late and we're both tired. You should get some rest." I said and she sat on the kitchen floor.
"I know baby, but I know I won't be able to sleep. The whole town will know about us by tomorrow morning."
"They can all go to hell." I said and sat next to her and pressing by back against the refrigerator.
"Also…how are we going to manage? I don't have any money and your father certainly didn't leave us any."
"We'll get jobs."
"Jobs…"
"Yes. I heard the diner is hiring and the Newtons need someone at their store. You and I can get a job." I said and she laughed.
"I haven't worked since I was 18. Charles didn't want me working." She laughed darkly.
"Well, today is the day I guess. Besides, now we can buy food and not get bitched at and we don't have to wait or depend on anybody else."
"Honey, I'm glad you see the positive."
"I do and you should to!"
"What about your school?"
"I'm still doing well and I'll keep at it."
"What if he comes back?" We both stayed silent. A few minutes later my mother sighed loudly.
"He won't. He said he wouldn't, but you know him. He could change his mind." She said.
"I doubt he will back any time soon. Besides, the freaking FBI is after him. Why would he come back here? They would catch him before he would get to us." I said trying to not only convince her, but myself as well. We stayed silent again. Mom grabbed my hand and held it tightly.
"That Edward boy likes you." She said and I snapped my head to her.
"No, he does not!"
"No? I thought…well it's just that he showed up at the station today. I thought it was really sweet of him."
"He just feels bad for me. He'll get over it in a few days and move on."
"I don't know him. All I know is that his family is rich and his foster parents are really pretty." I chuckled. "But the way he ran to you and hugged you…say what you want Bella, but that boy cares about you."
"Yeah, well that boy has a funny way of showing it. He's bipolar too." I said and she laughed. I had not heard my mother laugh like that in a long time.
"All boys are, baby. When they act funny, it means they like you."
"That's stupid. I'm becoming a nun and never getting married." She laughed again causing me to laugh with her.
"Your father is being chased by the FBI and here we are talking about boys!" She said laughing again and then she started crying.
"Oh mom." I wrapped my arms around her as she sobbed into my chest.
"Promise me that we're going to make it baby." She cried.
"I promise mom." I said and a knock at the door made us both jump. "I'll get it." I said standing up, but my mother held my arm.
"No baby, I'll get it. It's time I start acting like the adult." She said and I rolled my eyes. I followed her to the door and she gasped as she opened it. There were two men in suits holding Edward by his arms. Edward looked pissed, tired, irritated and embarrassed all into one. I wanted to laugh, but didn't think it was a good idea.
"Mrs. Swan, we found this individual trying to sneak into your house. He said he was a friend of the family. But we just thought a friend of the family doesn't try to sneak into the house. If you say he's a friend and not a foe, we'll let him go." One of the men said and mom turned and looked at me as if asking me what to say. She sort of looked like she wanted me to save him as she was giving me her puppy eyes. Edward looked at me, but didn't bother pleading. He already knew my answer.
Jackass.
"He's my friend." I sighed loudly and annoyed and the men pushed Edward foward. Edward huffed and said something not audible, but he was probably using language my mother wouldn't approve of. The men left back to their car and Edward just stood at the doorway. He looked at my mom and she placed a hand on her waist.
"So are you going to stand there all night, young man? Or are you going to present yourself?" She asked and Edward shook his head. He cleared his throat and stood up straight.
"Mrs. Swan…"
"Renee."
"Renee…I'm uh…um."
"You forgot your name? Well, Bella baby you sure know how to pick your friends." Mom said and I rolled my eyes at her.
"Mom!"
"Alright, Edward get in." she said and Edward hesitantly walked into the house. My mother closed the door behind him. She walked over to me and gave me a hug.
"I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. I'm sure we have a big day tomorrow. Are you going to school?"
"Yes, though I'm dreading it, but I can't miss much more school. I'm pretty sure they'll…"
"I'll make them shut up. Nobody will mess with you." Edward said and both my mother I looked at him. He quickly looked down at his shoes and my mother smiled.
"That's sweet of you Edward." She said and gave me one last hug. "See you in the morning." When she left, I thought Edward would loosen up, but he stayed by the door.
"It feels weird being in this house without having to sneak around." He said and I smiled. I sat on the couch and looked at him. He got the clue and walked over to me, sitting down at the other end of the couch. Somehow that felt wrong.
"Your mom is okay with me being here? It's kinda late. How does she know my name?"
"She knew about you already."
"What? You told her?"
"No, she caught us. She just never told me she knew until this morning. She walked into my room one night when we were asleep. She doesn't mind. I think it's because she's happy and thinks I found a friend or something. She's crazy." I said and didn't dare look at him. Why was I acting so…
"Why are you acting like a bitch?" He whispered forcefully.
"Why have you been acting like an asshole?" I questioned back and he looked away.
"I was…I uh um… I was mad you…sort of." He mumbled.
"That makes no damn sense."
"It fucking does in my wormy brain."
"Well, would you mind explaining so that my wormy brain can understand?"
"You didn't text me or call me this morning like I asked." He muttered and I chuckled. He was full of shit.
"Oh! I'm sorry. I guess I forgive you for acting like an asshole, because it's my fault. Sorry I was too busy worrying that my father was still around to kick my ass and bruise my other eye in round two. I'm soooo sorry Edward!" I shouted and I didn't give a crap if my mother heard. I huffed and turned away from him.
We sat in silence for a long time. We were pissed at each other and we both had too much pride to make it better. I didn't know how to begin. I suck at this and so does he. Our friendship was screwed. If there was anything left of it.
Finally, he sighed loudly and scooted over to me and got so close his leg was touching mine. He took my hand in his and intertwined our fingers. I still didn't look at him. He shook my hand a little trying to get my attention.
"I'm sorry for acting like an asshole." He said, but I ignored him. I was acting like a child, but I didn't care. "For fucks sake Bella! I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. You could at least help me."
"What wrong?" I asked…still not looking at him.
"I've never tried to make shit better with someone that I piss off. I don't even try with my mom and here I am trying to apologize to you and you won't even look at me! Look at me!" he said and I turned to face him still not amused by him. We stared at each other for a moment until he cracked and smirked. I rolled my eyes and he chuckled.
"Shit Bella." He said with a smile and pulled me into his arms. My arms went around him. It was instinct. He kissed my forehead while and tried to find the spot in his warm chest that I loved. I snuggled into his embrace and he sighed. His arms tightened around me.
"I can't believe he's being chased by the FBI. He won't get you ever again." He said and I closed my eyes. "And nobody is going to give you shit at school. Those assholes will have to deal with me first." He said and I smiled.
"You can't possibly stop the whole school from saying something." I said into his chest.
"Watch me!"
"You're silly. Don't worry about it. I don't care what they say. Nothing they say or do can mess with my joy right now. He's gone. Gone, Edward."
"I told you…"
"I know what you said and I won't forget it. But now, all I want is to enjoy. Can you understand?"
"Yeah…I guess I can." He sighed.
"Good." I said holding him tighter. We didn't say anything for another while. I started to doze off when I felt his warm lips on my forehead again.
"Bella?"
"Hmm."
"You asleep?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"You're an idiot." I giggled lowly and he chuckled.
"I have to tell you something."
"Well say it."
"I don't want you to keep thinking negative shit about us. I hate that."
"What can you possibly mean by that?" I asked and he pulled me away from his chest so that I could look at him in the face.
"I mean about earlier. I don't give a shit if people know we're friends. Do you understand? You're my fucking my friend and they can kiss my ass and then after that, they can kiss your ass." He said and I smiled causing that crooked smile of his to make an appearance on his pretty lips.
I don't know what took over me or what gave me the courage, but I lifted my hand and gently traced his lower lip with my finger tips. I wished they would press against mine again. I want to remember how they feel. His smile faded away once again and he closed his eyes. I quickly pulled my hand away, afraid that it was too much as he shook his head.
I can't forget that he kissed me. I wonder if he forgot already.
He opened his eyes again and smiled at me.
"We're friends. I promise not to act weird or different with you anymore." He said smiling.
Huh?
"Okay…" I simply answered to his promise.
The bad thing is that Edward didn't keep that promise.
Edward did act different with me.
For two weeks, Edward failed to remember what he had promised me that night. He did threaten or stop anybody that would pick on me or say anything about Father. But things weren't the same anymore.
He didn't ignore me like he had done that one day. He smiled at me and said hi in class. But there was no more talking or laughing. He didn't sneak into my room every night like he used to and when he did; he wouldn't say anything or hold me. He wouldn't even look at me half the time. He would sit as far as he could from me and only stayed for a few minutes and then would make something up and leave. He didn't follow me outside during lunch and he didn't text or call. He didn't even do tutoring with me anymore.
He was so cold.
It hurt.
I stopped myself from crying a few times and punished myself for even thinking that he should do those things. I began to doubt his friendship. I began to think he just didn't care as much as he used to now that the threat was gone.
And it was…for now.
The FBI kept their agents outside our house, but they began to lose hope that Father would be stupid enough to come back. Agent Molina would visit us often and explain what they were doing. He said that since it was reported that he might be violent and dangerous, that the mission to get him was more serious now.
Mother didn't start looking for a job until the second week. She was looking in Port Angeles because she didn't want to work in Forks. I rolled my eyes. I had applied at the Newtons' sporting goods store and at the diner but they had yet to call back. I guessed nobody wanted to give me a job since my father was being chased by the FBI. It was going to be harder than I thought.
In the process of the two weeks, Valentines Day came around.
It was the worst day of…well…not the worse of my life, but I hated it to death.
The Cold One, it was how I began to call Edward, decided that he was going to give Tanya a big teddy bear, a box of chocolate hearts and other cheesy shit people give each other this ridiculous day. I didn't give a shit, I swear I didn't. But what hurt more and I have no idea why it had pained me so much, is that he kissed her in front of me. I knew he knew that I was watching because he had seen me before he did it. It wasn't just a tender or brief kiss; it was an I-want-to-suck-your-tongue-until-you-moan kiss.
I have no idea why I just stood there and stared at him do that. He pushed her against the lockers and she started giggling her slutty giggle. He tickled her and kissed her neck and I just couldn't take it anymore. I ran into the restroom and locked myself in a stall. I held back the stupid tears and tried breathing out the stupid ache in my chest.
It fucking hurt and I hated it.
He kissed me once. Why did he have to kiss me? He ruined everything! Doesn't he remember? I'm so stupid.
A wiped away the few tears that managed to escape my eyes and washed away the evidence that I was bruised by the Cold One. I swallowed the knot in my throat, but couldn't get rid of the ache in my chest.
Alice and Angela still sat with me during art and on that day Alice decided to let me know how much of a douche bag her brother was being.
"I can't believe he gave Tanya that stupid bear. He has never given anybody anything on Valentines Day. It just doesn't make any sense."
"Maybe he likes her." I said and even as I said it my chest ached worse and I wanted to slap myself.
"No he doesn't, Bella. He can't stand Tanya. Besides, the way he's been acting lately, I wouldn't have thought he was in the mood to give Tanya, out of all people, a Valentines gift."
"How he's been acting?"
"Yeah, he doesn't sleep and he's been moping and brooding around and looks like shit half the day. I mean, Edward has always been emo, but lately…he's just pissed and anxious more than usual. I have no idea why. I think I know why, but…"
"But what?" I asked. I hoped Alice wasn't freaked out by my obsession with the topic. She sighed and studied me before she spoke. I hated when she did that.
"I just thought I had seen a glimpse of the future and this wasn't supposed to happen. Edward wasn't supposed to give Tanya Denali a fucking teddy bear and make out with her in the fucking hallway." Alice shocked me with her cursing. Edward must be really frustrating her. "He was supposed to fall for…ugh…nevermind. I just need to stop believing in fairy tales and stop thinking that emotions and feelings can change people. My brother is still a fucking douche." She went back to her drawing and Angela did the same.
"He isn't Ryan Philippe." Alice whispered to herself.
"Who's Ryan?" I asked and she snapped her attention back to me.
"Um…uh…you know the actor. Used to be married to Reese until he was an idiot and cheated on her…"
"Nope"
"Geez Bella, have you ever watched Cruel Intentions?" she asked and I shook my head.
"We should totally have a girl's night and watch that at my house!" Angela said wiggling her eyebrows at me and Alice jumped.
"No! We can't!" Alice shouted and Angela and I looked at her confused. "I mean…I hate that movie." Angela still looked confused…I was still confused. "My point is…" Alice continued noticing our confusion. "Ryan's character in that movie is such a fucking douche bag. So much so, that if he were real I would cut off his balls and force feed them down his throat." Angela and I both giggled. "But he meets a girl, a really nice girl and changes. He changes and he isn't a douche bag anymore." Angela and I didn't say anything back. Mainly because we still didn't know what the hell she was trying to point out. "That shit doesn't happen in real life I guess." Alice said defeated.
"It is a movie after all." Angela said and I nodded.
"I know…" Alice answered.
"Have you gotten glasses or contacts?" Angela asked as she caught me squinting at the board. I was grateful she had changed the subject.
"Nope. I want to though. I can't see anything and it's frustrating." I said and she smiled.
"My dad is an optometrist in Port Angeles. He might give you a discount."
"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." I said and turned to look at Alice.
Alice was sad again.
I didn't understand.
Edward decided that Valentines Day was a good day to get drunk and sneak into my room. Mother wasn't home so I didn't have to worry about her freaking out. I asked him to leave numerous times, but he would ignore me. His feet got caught with my bed sheets and fell onto the floor. I rushed to him and took his head in my hands.
"Oh my god! Are you alright?" I asked worried as hell but he just laughed and I wanted to slap the shit out of him. He took one of my curls and started twisting with his fingers as I held him.
"Valentines is bullshit. You wanna know what else is bullshit? Love. Yep, love is bullshit." He slurred as I caressed his cheek.
"Let me guess, Tanya turned you down?" I asked and he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
"Who?"
"Tanya…" I repeated and he started laughing.
"Yep, she broke my heart." He laughed and I didn't understand him. "I don't give a shit about her." His laughter died out as his eyes caught mine. He gently caressed my right cheek with the back of his fingers and let out a broken sigh. He cupped my cheek and gently pulled me closer to his face. I closed my eyes as I felt the warmth of his touch all the way into my once aching chest. He suddenly jumped up. "Um…uh…I gotta go." He said nervously and stumbled his way out of my room.
I didn't stop him. He would make the ache come back.
That was the last time he snuck into my room.
I missed him.
I missed Edward.
Maybe he was only my friend because he wanted to make sure Father wouldn't hurt me anymore and since Father is now gone, there is nothing that holds him to me anymore. He just didn't want to hurt my feelings and has forced himself to give me scraps of our former friendship. But he didn't understand that this was hurting me more. I wish he would just go away. I don't need his scraps. I've never really had more than one friend when Jacob was around. His friends never liked me and after he left I never had another friend and I made it. I survived. I don't need Edward's pity friendship.
You do need him. You've said it yourself. You care too much.
Ugh!
Well, it's just too bad that he doesn't need me.
I should just get over this. Forget Edward Cullen and go back to the way things were before he snuck into my room that one night and before he decided to talk to me. He didn't hurt me that way. Sure he teased me, but that was expected of him so it didn't hurt. I'm tired of hurting.
So I decided I would play along and began to ignore him instead. I didn't looking for him in the lunch room and when I walked into English class, I avoided looking at him as I made my way to my seat. He seemed not to care as instead of asking me for things, he would ask Angela.
I hurt again. What had I done wrong?
But this was how it was going to be and I had to get used to it.
We were going to be off on Friday because of some teacher thing and I knew I wouldn't see him again until Monday. It was kind of comforting since I wouldn't have to deal with his coldness, but I felt that with every passing day I didn't seem him, he slipped farther away from me. I didn't stand a chance. He was eventually going to disappear and I had to get used to the idea.
On Thursday, during English, I was doing my usual squinting and he caught me.
"You still haven't gotten glasses?" he asked.
"No." I muttered. I didn't turn to face him as I was too afraid. Yep, things are going back to normal and pretty soon.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" he sounded upset and I didn't understand why it bothered him so much.
"Money!" I snapped and he didn't say anything back.
Class ended and it was I who left the class before everyone else. I angrily threw my stuff into my locker and I slammed it shut, Edward scared me as he stood next to me.
"I'm sorry." He said lowly and I shook my head.
"For what? Scaring me or pissing me off?" I asked walking away. It didn't matter as he was right by my side. "People might see."
"Who gives a fuck?"
"I don't, how 'bout you?"
"Nope."
"Hmm, ok."
"You really need money to buy glasses?"
"The little money we have is running out and we can't get a job. Yes Edward, I need money to buy glasses."
"Where are you going?" he asked as we made it outside.
"Home…school is over for today."
"Oh…well see you around." He muttered and left.
Just leave me alone.
I like days off from school. I get to sleep. I thought I would get to sleep today, but I was wrong. I was wakened by my mother knocking on my door.
"Bella baby, you have friends here."
Huh?
"What?" I said with a voice still heavy with sleep. My mother didn't answer and instead opened door a little wider to let in the two people I didn't wanted to see right now. I just wanted to sleep.
Alice and Angela walked into my room all smiles and giggles and I groaned. They were inside my room! How could my mother let this happen?
"Rise and shine Bella, we have a busy day ahead of us!" Alice shouted.
"What time is it?" I groaned and they both giggled.
"It's around nine in the morning."
"What? You do realize it's a day off from school and you should be sleeping?" I said and Alice rolled her eyes.
"You can do that tomorrow. Get up lazy ass!"
"Oh my god Bella! You're like a forealz artist! Look at all of these drawings, Alice!" Angela said and I groaned again burying my face into my pillow.
"Totally! You're so gifted, Bella." Alice said and I ignored them.
"Oh my god, that one looks like your brother Edward, Alice!" I quickly sat up.
"Alright, where are we going exactly?" I said and they both giggled and sat on my bed.
This was weird.
"We are having a girl's day in Port Angeles!" Alice squealed.
"Oh well, have fun." I said and I was about to lay back down when Alice and Angela placed their hands on my back.
"You are coming with us, silly girl."
"What? I have to ask my…"
"Nope, already done. I think your mom likes us." Angela said and I shook my head. Alice giggled but when she caught sight of my arms, both she and Angela stayed silent. They looked as if someone killed their dog. I hated being the cause of this. They were just bruises!
"Um I guess I'll get dressed." I really didn't want to go since I didn't really trust crazy Alice and Angela, but if this is what it took for them to get out of my room as soon as possible, then I would have to endure…girls day.
I threw on some jeans and a t-shirt. I made sure to put on my green sweater before I headed out to see the girls this time. I found Alice staring at my closet.
Yes Alice, I don't have any clothes because I don't have any money.
She turned to face me and her face lit up.
"Ready?"
"Sure…" I said and both girls squealed.
This was going to be a long day.
It was weird riding in car with people my own age. I felt out of place the whole ride to Port Angeles. The girls knew each since forever I guessed and they knew their own music tastes and talked about people I didn't know. Alice would try her best to include me in the conversation by asking me things, but I never had a clue. It was really nice of her though.
I hadn't seen Port Angeles in years and it had seemed to have grown a lot. There was a lot more people walking the streets. Our first stop was at some shopping plaza. I walked behind Alice and Angela as they led the way. We passed all the clothes stores and ended up at a doctor's office. It took me a few seconds to realize that we were in an optometrist office.
"Um…" I managed to say when Angela wrapped an arm around one of mine and sat me down on one of the blue chairs in the waiting area. Alice sat on my other side.
"So remember when I said that my dad was an optometrist and that he could give you a discount?" Angela said and I nodded. Discount or no discount, I didn't have any money. "Well I sorta' begged him and so he decided that instead of a discount, he would see you for free."
"What? I can't do this Angela. This is too much!"
"Don't be silly, Bella. Besides you have to be able to see your homework!" Alice said smiling and wrapped her arm around my other arm.
This was too weird.
We waited for a while until a girl in scrubs led us into a dark room. They made point some letters out through some machine and blew air in my eyes. It had been a while since I last visited an optometrist office so it was all still weird.
Angela looks like her father, but he is even sweeter than she is. I didn't think that was possible. I felt so weird taking free stuff. He had to keep asking me to stop thanking him. Alice and Angela decided for me and I had to go with contacts which I didn't oppose to, because I could see everything so much better. At first it felt weird sticking something in my eye ball and then leaving it there, but it wasn't painful. I did spend about ten minutes trying to learn how to put the damn things in my eyes. Angela's father explained that my vision had worsen since my last visit and it would continue to do so until I was 30, so I had to come back often.
"So how does the world look now?" Angela asked and I smiled at her.
"Amazing…thanks Angela." I said with a hint of guilt.
"Thank me again and I will puke! Seriously stop Bella. It was my pleasure." She said.
The next stop was a hair salon. I thought Alice and Angela would get their hair done, but to my surprise the hair dresser called my name.
"What? Um…I…"
"It's okay Bella. We got this." Alice said and pushed me into a chair.
"I can't just let you pay for this!" I said and Alice smiled.
"Don't worry. Just let Lita," she pointed at a tall red head. "take care of your hair. This is all part of my master plan!" she said and I looked at her confused.
"Your plan? What's your plan?"
"Um…uh to make you look hot…yeah." Alice was full of crap, but I decided not to question her.
Lita cut my hair, not much, just enough to make it "awesome" according to her and Alice. She rubbed some creams and oils in my hair and curled it. She gave me the stuff she was using plus a curler. I told her I didn't know how to use it and she spent ten minutes showing me how to curl my hair. When I finally looked at myself in a mirror, I realized my hair did look "awesome." I couldn't help it and hugged Alice and Angela a little too tightly.
I thought this would be it and surely Alice was broke by now, but no. We ended up in a clothing store. No, multiple clothing stores. It didn't matter how much I protested, I was always over ruled and shoved into a dressing room with arms full of clothes. I thought this day was for them, but they hardly bought anything for themselves and instead spent their time looking for things that would "make my skin glow" or "make my brown eyes pop" or "make him drool." I didn't understand who this him was, but I didn't ask either. Alice made sure to find everything long sleeved. She even found a pretty green sweater that wasn't raggedy or worn out like mine. It was "girlie." I think I love Alice.
Until she got me some "boy shorts" and insisted that I wore them to sleep, because it was "cute."
I almost broke down the first time I tried on some clothes they had picked out for me. I stared at myself in the mirror of the dressing room. I covered my bruised body with brand new clothes. The smell of new was wonderful. I stared at myself for a while until Alice knocked on the door. This wasn't Isabella Swan…I liked it. It was Bella-ish. We went from store to store. I can't understand why girls like to shop. This was exhausting.
After we visited a cosmetics store in which they sprayed and rubbed crap all over me, we finally made it back to Alice's car. They stuffed all the bags in her car's trunk and we headed back to Forks.
"So how was your first experience of girl's day?" Alice asked, looking at me through her mirror.
"Fun…but exhausting." Both girls giggled.
"It's not over!" Angela said and gave an Alice a look which let me know they were keeping something from me.
"And if you're hungry, we can make some sandwiches!" Alice said.
"Make? Where are we going now?" I asked afraid of the answer.
"To my house." Alice said smiling. Her house? Doesn't Edward live with her?
"But um what about uh…" I really didn't want to see him.
"Don't worry. Nobody is home. It will be just us girls." Alice said.
To say that the Cullens were rich was an understatement. They were freaking banking it. Alice giggled and pretended to close my mouth with her hand when I oogled their amazing house. I followed her and Angela up some stairs, passing a family portrait. Edward didn't look too happy in the picture, while Alice and Emmett and their parents grinned from ear to ear.
I guess Edward was right. He didn't seem to belong.
"This is my room!" Alice said as we walked into a large room. It was two times the size of my room and it was much more "girlier" and neater than mine. Alice threw a few bags on her bed and started "fixing a look" for me. I didn't understand what had made them play dress up with me, but I was too much of a coward to say anything or protest. She handed me a white long sleeved blouse to wear and some dark jeans.
I had never worn tight jeans before. I mean these weren't that tight. But the jeans I always wore were too loose on me and this felt weird. As if hanging around Alice and Angela wasn't weird enough.
"Your ass looks drool wordy in those jeans!" Angela said and I looked at her confused.
"Is that a good thing?" they both giggled and in unison answered that it was a very good thing.
"Who knew Bella Swan was bootylicious!" Alice teased.
The bruising around my eye was gone and Alice didn't spend too much time with make-up. She said I was "a natural beauty" and that my skin didn't need anything, but that a little touch would make me "glow." I seriously didn't understand all this make-up and clothes talk. I felt like maybe I should fight back and said "no more" and leave, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy this. I was an only child and have spent most, if not all my life, alone so this attention and girl time was nice.
The girls ate sandwiches while I nervously waited for them to take me back home. I wanted to leave before he got here. It made my hunger disappear so I just picket at my ham sandwich. It was sad that I was trying to avoid him. It used to make me excited to see him, now I fear it will only hurt. It hurts every time I see him.
"Nice piano." I said as I spotted it as we entered the leaving room. "You play?" I asked Alice and she shook her head.
"Heck no I suck. Its Edward's piano. He's freaking amazing."
"Edward plays piano?" I asked too interested for my own good.
"Yep. You should ask him to play for you one day." Alice said with a suggestive smile.
"Don't! He'll make your panties fall." Angela giggled.
"Angie, I'm going to ignore that you just had a pervy thought about my brother."
"Oh come on it wasn't that pervy!"
"Um yeah it was…you should apologize because…" Alice stopped joking around when we all heard a car pull up to the house. Alice ran to the window and then ran back to us. "He's here!" She squealed.
"Who?" I asked and she composed herself.
"Um…uh Edward." I didn't understand her or Angela's sudden excitement, but I had to hide or leave. I serisoulsy could not…would not face Edward today. Not with all this crap on my face and tight jeans.
"Um I have to go to the restroom." I said nervously and they both shook their heads.
"Oh no you don't!" Alice said and took my hand in hers. I could feel the heat of embarrassment and nervousness in my neck. The door suddenly opened and he walked in.
"Alice! What the fuck? Why did you park your stupid car like that?" he yelled and walked into the living room where we were. "You know it's fucking hard for everyone else to park their…" Edward was talking to his sister and had glanced at me, but stopped mid sentence to look back at me. His eyes wandered over me. I felt almost naked by the way he examined me from head down.
"Bella?" he asked breathlessly and I knew I was biting my lower lip as the pain surged through me, but I couldn't help it.
"Duh stupid. It is Bella. Doesn't she look amazing and pretty?" Alice asked nudging her brother. He gulped and didn't move his gaze from me making me feel uncomfortable. "Doesn't she?" Alice nudged him again.
"Very…I mean yes." Edward said nervously. He shoved his hands in his jeans and looked like a shy school boy. Alice giggled and silently clapped.
"So you were saying Ed?" She asked wiggling her eyebrows, but Edward wasn't paying attention to her. "Earth to Edward!"
"Uh um your…" Edward mumbled and it caused Alice to giggle a little more. I finally tore my eyes away from him and looked down at the floor. "Alice can I talk you in the kitchen?" He asked and without waiting for her to answer, took Alice by the arm into the kitchen. I sighed and walked over to the couch and sat back down. Angela sat next to me and wrapped an arm around me.
"You okay?" she asked and I smiled at her.
"Yeah, just kinda' tired." I muttered and she nodded.
"I understand." No Angela, you don't understand. I'm tired of this situation and confused by it all. The most frustrating part is that I confuse myself more than anything else.
Alice and Edward walked back into the living and I quickly looked away. Alice sat by Angela and Edward stood around, throwing glances at me. I ignored him as I had made it my mission and I was determined to succeed in it.
"Alice and Angela, thank you for everything. I will spend a lifetime thanking you. Um…but I would like to go home now." I said lowly and Alice and Angela looked at each other disappointedly.
"Um ok…let me just get my purse and the bags. Um…" Alice looked around and then jumped. "Angie, come with me!"
"Sure!" Angela jumped up rushed upstairs with Alice leaving Edward and me by ourselves.
Traitors…
I nervously sat at the end of the couch, picking at the ends of my sleeves while he stood in the middle of the living room…staring at me. He cleared his throat, but I ignored him. He sighed.
Oh the power of the ignore game.
He sat at the other end of the couch and I found it funny how just a few weeks ago we found ourselves in the same position, but we were actually talking. The ache started again.
Bella, what the fuck? He did this! Get over it and flip him off! Stop thinking about it. He probably doesn't give a shit that it fucking hurts like hell.
He doesn't.
Though I had not once looked at him, I could feel his stare. Not once had he looked away and his breathing was heavy. He scooted over a little closer to me and placed a hand by mine.
"Um…Bella I…" he started but he was interrupted by Alice.
"Bella!" Alice shouted and rushed down the stairs with bags in her hands. "I have to rush Angela home and her mom needs me to do something for her. You will have to ride along or…"
"I can take her home." Edward said and I wanted to protest and say I'd rather walk, but Alice was already thanking him and asking him to help her take my bags out of her car so I could take them home. We walked outside and I ignored Edward the whole time, not once looking at him. I knew he was looking at me and more than once he wanted to say something, but decided against it.
"Geez Alice, did you buy the whole fucking store!" Edward huffed as he placed the last two bags of clothes in his Volvo.
"They were a lot of sales every where and its not my fault Bella looks great in everything!" Alice said as she walked over to me. She hugged me and I had no choice to hug her back.
"Thanks Alice." I said and she shook her head. She pulled me away and placed her hands on my cheeks.
"No problem. It made me happy to spoil you. Besides…I'm going to owe you pretty soon so this is the least I could do."
"Owe you?"
"Shh. I told you I can see the future. You're gonna help me and my family out and you won't even know how. But I'll remind you and point it out when it happens." She whispered a little more serious this time. I didn't understand what she meant, but just went along with her words. "We're gonna be great friends." She said and hugged me one more time. "If that's okay with you…" I giggled.
"Of course."
"Yes!" She cheered and finally let go of me. I caught Edward staring at us and quickly looked away. Angela hugged me goodbye and gave me her and Alice's phone number. She and Alice left, leaving me standing by myself with Edward in the Cullen's driveway. I didn't move as I stared at Alice's car disappear and didn't know what to do now.
He cleared his throat.
"You wanna go now?" he asked lowly and without looking at him, I walked over to the passenger side of his Volvo and jumped in. I stared at my hands that were placed in my lap and didn't move my eyes as he jumped into the car.
He turned the engine on and hooked his iPod into the car's sound system and the car started moving. I stared out the front window and prayed we could get to my house faster so I could get out of his gaze. He kept glancing at me and he thought he was being discreet about it, but more than once he swerved a little. He cleared his throat trying to act to normal.
"Hate Me" by Blue October started to play and he quickly grabbed his iPod and changed the song. He left it on some song by Coldplay while he searched for a song. He finally found what he was looking for. "I'll Be Your Lover Too" by Van Morrison. I rolled my eyes.
"You like this song right?" he asked nervously and I nodded, giving him an answer without speaking.
I hate Edward Cullen.
No you don't!
No, I don't. But I wish I did so I could curse him out and tell him to rot in hell.
No you don't!
No…I don't.
The song ended and he didn't bother picking another song though the iPod had stop playing and now we were riding in silence.
For god's sake, please pick a song. I can't bare the silence.
We finally made it to my house and before he could place the car in park, I opened the door and got out. I walked to my door and unlocked it and remembered my bags and sighed. I walked back to his car to find him waving at the FBI car. They waved back.
Huh?
He opened his trunk and I grabbed as many bags as my small hands could grab.
"I can get the rest, Bella. Geez." He said as I struggled and I didn't want him to spend time in my house, but I guess he could just leave the bags by the door and leave.
He didn't.
He followed me all the way to my room and placed the bags on top of my bed.
"Do you need anything else?" he asked and I shook my head.
"Thanks, but no." I said…still not looking at him. I crossed my arms and waited for him to leave.
"Um…alright." He said and turned to leave but quickly changed his mind. He walked over to me and pulled one of my hands away from me and into his hand.
"Bella…" he whispered, but I didn't look at him. He pulled me close to his body and placed his lips into my hair. "I just wanted to say…" his breath hit my ear and I shuddered. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into his chest.
I would regret this. This would surely hurt later when I replayed it in my mind a hundred times.
"You're beautiful." He whispered and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and the tears threaten. I closed my eyes.
Do not cry. Do not cry. Do not cry!
What does he want from me?
"So fucking beautiful." He said breathlessly and pressed lips on my ears. "And you smell so fucking good."He slowly grazed my skin with his nose until he reached my eye lid and pressed his lips there. He placed another kiss on my cheek. "You do shit to me and I fucking hate it." He said still breathlessly and pressed lips on my jaw. I could feel the muscles in my belly tightened, heat in my face and I was starting to have a hard time breathing. I was so lost.
He gently turned my body to face him after placing a kiss on my neck. He pressed his forehead against mine after he had placed another kiss there. I placed my hands on his chest to hold myself up. I opened my eyes to find him with his closed. He placed his hands on my hips. My shirt had moved up a little to expose some skin and when his fingers touched me, I let out a shaky breath.
Couldn't he feel that to? He must have felt it to.
He slowly opened his deep green eyes and stared at my lips. I wanted him to do it. I needed him to do it.
I wanted him to kiss me.
He lowered his lips and with a finger under my chin, raised my face higher to meet his. I gripped to his shirt tightly and waited.
I wanted this.
He neared his lips to mine and our breaths clashed. I had no idea why I was breathing so heavily, but I was and so was he. My heart pounded in my chest.
He returned his hand to my hip and closed his eyes. He shook his head and pulled his face away from mine. I felt the tears run down cheeks and the anger from his rejection bubbling in my blood.
"Why are you doing this?" I cried. He pressed his forehead against mine again and wrapped his arms completely around me, holding me tightly.
"I don't know." He said in a broken whisper.
"Do you know how much it hurts?"
"Yes…like hell. It fucking hurts." he sniffed.
"Then why do you do it?" I chocked and he shook his head.
"I don't know." He repeated.
I had enough. Who the hell did he think he was? He didn't know? He didn't fucking know why he played with me this way? I let out all of my bottled anger for him; for what he did the last two weeks and for luring me in and then pushing me away. I shoved him away from me, by slapping his chest with my two hands.
"Then get out!" I shouted and he looked surprised by my reaction. His eyes were red and he looked hurt, but I couldn't find it in me to care at this moment. "I said get out!" I shouted and pushed him again. He stumbled back but didn't leave.
"Bella… please…" he pleaded effortlessly and I shoved him again and he reached my room's doorway. I was going to shove him again but he caught my arms and pulled me to him, but I wasn't going to fall for it again. "Bella…" he stopped as pulled my right arm away from his hold and slapped him across the face.
"Get out of my house Edward…and don't come back." I cried and he held his redden cheek. I pushed him farther away from my door and rushed into my room and closed the door in his face. I fell back on my door and slid down until I met the floor. I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and cried into them.
"Bella, please." He knocked, but I ignored it. "Please open the door, Bella." He cried.
"Just leave me alone Edward. Please…please…please leave me alone. What you should have done from the beginning. Just leave me alone…please." I cried into the door and the knocks stopped and few minutes later his footsteps down the stairs and the closing of the front door assured me he was gone.
And I was alone.
Listening to "My Love" by Sia while writing that last part left me emotionally unstable. What in the blue hell is going on with Edward? How about with Bella? Does she even know? And what is the little evil pixie aka Alice doing?
This chapter was much longer than I expected which makes me happy I cut the first part and made it a chapter on its own.
Again and always, thanks crazy9girl for the banner.
Another huge thanks to Chiara0075 who sent me a banner as a gift. It was really sweet of her and made me feel special that she would go and take her time and make an awesome banner for my story without me even asking for it. It was really sweet! Check it out the link for it on my profile or go here
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