So I hope this was soon enough for you hahaha. Thank you again for your reviews. I love them all, even the ones that urge me to get a beta. (I've tried, but nobody wants to beta a story with so many chapters already posted or everybody takes too long.) So if you wanna be my beta, send me a PM bahaha! Love you all like I love brownies. I really do.
Ch20/Edward/ The Male Population
Realizing you love someone when you don't even love yourself, is something hard to take in. It's difficult to process and I've realized that confusion has led me to have the biggest breakdown in my pathetic life.
I'm not sure how it happened or when everything changed, but I knew it now. That is all that mattered now. I had realized it now that I had lost her. I also realize that I've been acting like a pussy and like a coward, but the thought of wanting something for myself that didn't involve punishment was strange.
How could Bella be punishment?
She would be a prize.
I questioned that I deserved a prize like her. Why would I? I've done nothing to win her.
It felt like I had been trying to cheat at life. For some reason, I believed I deserved something good to happen to me. My mind kept telling me that she would be good for me, but I wouldn't be good for her. I was tired of feeling this way. Why couldn't I be a cynic? I could be good to her. I'm not good to myself, but I would be good to her. I would be there if she needed me. I would.
So why in the hell was in Carl and Steve's car instead of being with Bella?
"Why did you stop "sneaking" into Isabella's room?" Carl asked making the quotation marks with his fingers. Of course I wasn't "sneaking" into her room, because they would watch me do it.
"She fucking hates me." I said lowly and he smirked.
Asshole…
"What did you do?" Steve asked while scratching his bald spot.
"I lied." I muttered.
"We all do. Nobody's perfect kid. The girl probably likes you. She'll find it in herself to forgive you for whatever it is that you did." Steve said and I shook my head.
"I doubt it."
"Well, let me just say this…" Carl cleared his throat. "If I was a teenage girl and I knew my stupid boyfriend, who lied to me, stayed up until early hours in the morning in a car, looking out for me…I might forgive him…" Carl said and turned around and playfully blew a kiss at me. Both guys laughed and I smiled.
Would she?
Monday came around and I could barely hear my alarm clock going off. I sat up with my eyes still closed and pain in my neck. I was so fucking tired. I had spent all night in that stupid FBI car with my head against the window. Carl and Steve had slapped me awake and I wanted to punch both of them, but I held back. It had become harder to leave that car. Every night I would leave a little later than usual and every night nothing would happen, but I knew I would make myself sick if I didn't spend those long hours in that car.
On Sunday, Carl and Steve broke the news to me that their boss would be removing them from the "Protecting the Swans" duty. Steve got pissed when I punched his passenger seat. I was pissed that they were going to leave Bella and her mother unprotected and where the hell was I supposed to go? Carl assured they would be fine and that the FBI would still have an eye on them. "They were going get the asshole."
I was still pissed.
I didn't look forward to school.
I drove to school in frustration as every other song in my iPod was fucking depressing. If it wasn't sad love song it was a "I hate the fucking world" rock song. Everyone was right, I'm fucking emo. I should start listening to some hip hop. Bah…I don't hate myself that much.
When I drove into the school's parking lot, I immediately spotted Bella's truck and I didn't know why it made me feel nervous and anxious.
I wanted to see her.
But I was afraid to face her. For some stupid reason, I thought she would see it in my face and freak out. Just because I know it now, doesn't mean she does. Maybe if she did, she would give me another shot. Bah, in my dreams!
I didn't see her for the first two periods and I was still anxious as hell. I decided that I could maybe spy on her again. I just needed to see if she was okay. I knew that this wasn't helping me in any way, but it would get me by…for now.
I hid behind some fake plants the school thought made the hall look nice and waited for her to get to her locker. Tanya and Rosalie were in the way, but as soon as they left, I spotted her walking to her locker.
She looked beautiful today.
She had kept her look from Friday. She was wearing another pair of amazing jeans that I would thank Alice for later and another white blouse…long sleeved of course. I smiled as she dropped her books, because it was obvious this would happen to Bella. She rolled her eyes and I chuckled. She knelt down to pick them up, when Eric Yorkie knelt down to help her.
Where the fuck did he come from?
She quickly jumped at his presence. Stupid motherfucker didn't know that Bella was paranoid. He smiled at her and I knew that fucking smile, because it was the same smile I used to get into girls pants. She nervously smiled back and stood up as he picked the rest of her books up. He said something that made her giggle and I could feel the anger boiling my blood. He placed one of her curls behind her ear and Bella blushed red. He was probably freaking her out. I started walking towards them. I was going to knock the shit out of him for touching her and for freaking her out. But my heroic act was interrupted by Jasper standing in front of me.
"Dude, guess what?" He said, but I ignored him. My moved my head to spy on her again.
Eric stroked her shoulder and Bella jumped again, but he was too fucking stupid and oblivious that he didn't notice.
"Did you hear what I said?" Jasper asked and I didn't even look at him. My eyes were glued to Eric and his disgusting hands. I swear I'm going to kill him! Jasper turned to see what had my attention and when he noticed Eric and Bella talking, he quickly turned to face me and shook his head. "I'll see you at lunch dude." He sighed and patted my shoulder and left.
Eric finally stopped flirting with Bella and I left before she had a chance to see me. During lunch, I sat at our usual table, staring at the doors, waiting for her come. When she finally came in, I held back the stupid smile that threatened and sat up straight trying to hide my excitement to see her. She just looked so fucking cute today.
I wasn't the one to notice.
When she walked to the lunch line, completely ignoring me, Mike turned and smiled at her. He offered to let her cut in front of him, but she declined the offer with a shy smile. That didn't stop him from flirting with her. She had no idea he was doing it as she just nodded and chewed her lower lip. He was making her uncomfortable, but he to was too fucking stupid. Mike finally said something that caught Bella's attention and I wish I would have known what it was, but Jasper slapped my arm. I turned to look at him and he gave me a confused look.
Jasper wasn't stupid.
I had to stop acting like this around people.
Bella took her food and walked with Mike out of the cafeteria. I fisted my hands under the table and took deep breaths.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Bella can do what she wants. But it pisses me off. Why did fuckface Mike had to walk with her.
Bella didn't come back into the cafeteria.
I squirmed in my seat in English as I waited for Bella to get to class. This was the time of the day where I was so close to Bella I could touch her. I could stare at her and she wouldn't notice sense she sat with her back to me.
English had become my favorite class.
When she walked, she did her usual avoiding eye contact with me and sat down. I could smell her already and my hands began to shake and my heart started to race.
What's wrong with me? I'm like a twelve year old boy with his first crush. But this isn't a fucking crush!
Angela walked in and instead of sitting next to me, she sat on the seat next to Bella. I didn't mind, Bella needed friends and Angela was a cool chick. Some guy named Dean sat in Angela's old seat and I quickly noticed as he stared at Bella. Fucking dipshit couldn't make it any more obvious that he was checking her out.
What the fuck is up with the male population at Forks today? Did these assholes finally realize how beautiful my Bella is? They finally opened their fucking eyes! But she's fucking mine. It's not my fault they finally noticed.
Oh shut the fuck up. It took you a fucking while!
Yeah, but I didn't need her to get a makeover. Bella was beautiful in my eyes with her raggedy green sweater and loose and worn out jeans. I even loved those dirty Converse shoes she would always wear. They gave her character. She was beautiful with those oval glasses and messy hair. She's still beautiful of course, but now the fucking dogs are after her.
"So you got the job?" Angela asked Bella excitedly.
Wait? Bella working? Since when?
"Yeah. Mike said I could start tomorrow afternoon." Bella said excitedly. With Mike? Shit. "My mom found a job in Port Angeles. It's so exciting." Bella said and I could hear the smile in her voice. I smiled for her.
"I'm happy for you and your mom. I'm sure it'll go well for you both." Angela said and I wanted to tell Bella that she was right. She would make it. But I wasn't her friend anymore.
I ignored the teacher and thought of a compromise with myself. I could be friendly to Bella, we didn't have to go through this silence bullshit. We could be…acquaintances. It would give me an excuse to talk to her and she wouldn't completely hate me. I wouldn't hurt her.
English ended and I wanted to talk to Bella, but when I called her name, she turned and looked at me for two seconds before turning and walking away. She fucking glared at me.
I forgot that Bella would have to agree too.
I walked to my locker and while I putting my shit in it, Mike, Ben, and Eric walked up to me. I didn't want to see or talk to any of them, but they didn't get my silence. They wanted to go to Port Angeles and do some bullshit. I wasn't paying attention. They followed me to my car and I wasn't even aware of it.
"So what do you think, Cullen?" Mike asked as I put my books in my trunk.
"About what?"
"Going to Port Angeles?" He asked and shook my head.
"Oh come on Edward, it won't be the same without you, man?" Ben said and I just shook my head again.
"Holy shit!" Eric hissed and I turned to the direction where he was looking at. Bella was walking with Alice and Angela down the stairs of the school. For some reason I didn't feel bad that I wished he was talking about my sister or Angela.
"Look at that man!" he said and the rest of the guys looked. "Isabella fucking Swan went from "stay away, I'm freak" to "fuckable" in a blink of an eye!" he said and the guys agreed with nodding and chuckling.
"What the fuck did you say?" I shouted, but the guys were too fucking concentrated on Bella that they didn't notice the anger in my tone of voice.
"I said…"Eric said and leaned his head to a side. I looked back to Bella. She was standing with her back to us and I knew he was checking her ass out. "Isabella is so fucking sexy now. I would fucking bone her in a second." He was so fucking disgusting and I knew that was probably the way I talked about some girls. But nobody talked about Bella like that!
"She is hot. I wonder if she was visited by her fairy godmother." Ben teased.
"Whoever it was, I want to thank them. I will thank them again after I pop her cherry. I bet she's still a virgin. But not for long. Eric, will take care of that! Come on baby. Eric can show you a good time…I bet her pussy is tight too." Eric said and I saw red.
I don't quite know how it happened, but a moment later Eric was on the ground holding his bloody nose and Ben was shoving me against my car.
"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you!" He shouted.
"Don't fucking talk about her like that, you piece of shit!" I shouted at Eric and shoved Ben off. After I had shoved Ben, Eric stood up and tackled me against my car again and we were wrestling until we landed on the ground. He punched at my gut, but the fucking douche didn't know how to throw how to fight. He was swinging like an idiot and I was good at avoiding every punch, but someone shouted my name and I was distracted. It sounded like Bella's voice. He landed his fist on my left eye. It fucking hurt, but I wanted to get back at him so bad and I was about to punch him in the face when two big arms grabbed and pulled me off from him.
"Edward, calm the fuck down!" Emmett shouted and threw me against my car while Mike and Jasper held Eric back. I tried catching my breath and leaned my back against the car. That's when I realized there was a crowd around us…including her.
She looked terrified and shaky and I felt like an asshole. I took a step toward her and she quickly took a giant step away from me. She shook her head and held her right shaky hand. She looked at me as if I was him.
She was scared of me.
I probably looked fucked up.
She was scared of me.
That was the last thing I wanted.
I had failed yet again.
She was fucking scared of me!
Alice wrapped an arm around her to calm her down. I wish I could do that. Everyone was staring at me as I stood there. Nobody said shit. They were all freaked out. To honest Eric deserved it, but I had taken out my frustrations on him. I probably looked like a scary motherfucker.
I found Jasper trading glances between Bella and me.
She looked at me like I was him.
She feared me.
She stepped away from me.
My heart broke.
I shoved Emmett away from my car and jumped in. I left the school parking lot and sped my way away from everything and everyone. I drove around for hours not knowing where to go. I didn't belong anywhere. My parents will probably hear about my fight with Eric and kick me out for sure. I didn't really have any real friends. Jasper used to be my best friend, but he and I had grown apart lately. Alice would be too positive and shit and I didn't like it, because she would get my hopes up even though I knew she was wrong. Emmett wasn't the guy you wanted to go to for this kind of emotional drama. He would call me a pussy and tease me.
And then there was Bella.
Somehow I still ended up parked a few houses down hers. I walked to where Carl and Steve used to park their car and stared at the two story white house. It was dark now. I had no idea what time it was, but was it was dark and fucking cold. I shoved my hands into my jeans and walked over to what had become my favorite tree.
It was the latter to my sanctuary.
I sat at on the ground with my back against the tree and stared at the balcony door. Her room's light was on, so I guessed she was awake. A few minutes later the light went off and I waited another twenty minutes before sneaking into her room.
She was asleep when I walked in. She was wrapped around her covers, but somehow her feet still didn't manage to be covered. I chuckled lowly. I knelt down beside her and just stared at the back of her head. I sighed and took in her warmth.
I missed this.
I jumped when she turned to face me, but quickly sighed in relief to find her still asleep. She sighed causing some of her wild hair to blow off her face. Her cheeks were blushed and the tip of her small nose was shiny with sweat. I pulled the heavy covers off a bit from her upper and she didn't budge.
Bella was a heavy sleeper.
I blew warm air from my lungs into my hands to warm them up. I gently caressed her face with two of my fingertips and she sighed again. I smiled and I was about to move in to kiss her forehead when suddenly she took my hand in hers. I looked down at her face and found that she was still asleep. She squeezed and gently tugged my hand as if asking me to stay. I couldn't deny that my heart jumped from the fucking joy, but I knew this didn't count. She was still asleep. But at least she wanted me around in her dreams. I was content with that…for now.
I caressed her rosy cheeks with the finger tips of my free hand and stroked her hair behind her ear. I placed my mouth by her ear and closed my eyes.
"I love you." I whispered. "You don't know that, but I do…now. People say love makes you selfish. I guess they are right, because I want you for myself. But they also say love makes you a better person. I'm going to do that for you. I'm gonna be better. I promise." I said.
It didn't matter. She didn't move or open her eyes. She didn't hear me. She would never know. I softly kissed her cheek, gently pulled my hand out of hers and left.
I skipped school the next day. Making some bullshit up that I was sick, I had convinced Esme that my black eye, which wasn't that bad, was because I had fallen while messing around. I also convinced her that my headache didn't allow me to attend school.
Alice promised me she and Emmett had not told our parents and nobody at school said anything because we could get into deep shit since school was over when we fought and we were both 18. I spent the day in my room, watching TV, wasting time. I played with my phone and when I saw the name Bella in my contact list, I selected her and started writing her a text message.
I made some bullshit up and erased everything and then started again. I didn't know what to say. I sighed in frustration and I spent an hour, just trying to come up with something. I was falling asleep and decided just to send her a message. I don't remember what I sent, but I sent her something.
I was woken up by a voice down stairs and I hurried up. I glanced at the clock and realized school was already out and the voices probably belonged to my siblings. I rushed down stairs, searching for Alice. I needed my "Bella update", but instead found Jasper sitting on our couch.
"Hey dude." He said and I sat at the other end of the couch.
"Wassup man?"
"Waiting on Alice…" He muttered and I smirked.
"How was school today?"
"Uh alright. Everyone was talking about the fight. Nobody still knows why you two went at it. I thought you were friends with Eric?" He asked and I chuckled.
"I hate that fucker." I said and he laughed.
"Now I know. How's the eye?"
"Alright…"
"Why did you fight?"
"Eric was being a dick."
"Yeah, well he always is. Why this time?"
"He disrespected Be…just forget about it." I mumbled and he nodded.
Alice came down the stairs in a nice flowery dress and rushed to Jasper's lap, pressing her lips firmly against his. I made a gagging noise and she slapped my arm making me laugh. She got off his lap and Jasper stood up.
"Well let's get going." He said and Alice was about to agree when her phone started ringing from her room.
"Shit! I forgot my phone! That's probably Bella!" She shouted and rushed up stairs.
Bella…
"She's become a bit attached to Bella these past few days." Jasper said and I nodded. "Alice is too nice. She loves fixing Bella up and talking to her. It's weird."
"Does that bother you?" I asked sounding a little too annoyed with him.
"No, of course not. That's Alice. Always being nice. That's why I love her." He said and I gave him a "look."
"Don't look at me like that Cullen. You heard me. I love her." He said grinning sheepishly.
"You're pussy whipped."
"No, I'm a real man. It takes a real man to admit his feelings for gal." Jasper said in country accent. He used to be obsessed with cowboy movies when he was a kid. He would say shit like that with a southern accent all the fucking time.
Idiot.
"Better not make my sister cry, asshole." I mumbled and he laughed. "Have you told her?" I asked and he nodded.
"It took me four years of dating and a pair of balls to say it, but I did." He said and I nodded. "Don't tell the rest of the boys, they will nickname me pussy and I believe that name doesn't fit my pretty little face." He said and I chuckled.
"Don't worry, you already are a pussy." I said and he threw his head back in laughter.
"Does she know?" he asked and I looked at him confused.
"Does who know what?"
"Bella. Does she know?" He asked calmly. What the fuck?
"Look, whatever Alice told you, she's full it."
"Alice didn't have to tell me. I saw it. I'm not fucking stupid or blind. Does she know you like her?" he asked and I looked away.
"Dude, we sound like fucking faggots." I said trying to make him stop. "Are you gonna ask me how she makes me feel too? Because if you do, I…"
"Just answer the fucking question Cullen." He cut me off. "Grow a fucking pair." I sighed loudly.
"Have you ever felt like you aren't good enough for someone?" I asked and I expected him to laugh and to tease me, but Jasper just nodded.
"Are you trying to tell me that I'm not good enough for your sister?" he asked smiling and I flipped him off.
"No dick, just answer the question." I said and he chuckled again.
"Of course I do. Everyday…" he said and looked toward the stairs. Alice was still up in her room. "I feel like a dick all the time, but she sees pass that shit and I don't worry about it."
I just nodded.
"I know I'm not good enough, but if she chose me, out of the assholes and prince charming douche bags out there than I will try my best to be as fucking good as I can. I will keep fighting to be good enough. One day I'll get there." He said and I looked away again. "Women don't give a shit what you think of yourself, because they see who you truly are and they aren't scared of you. And since they are willing to see pass your bullshit and accept the asshole that you truly are, then you really have to fight to be that great man they deserve to have."
"Wow Jasper…you could write for Hallmark and shit. Maybe even write romance novels. Alice would dig that." I said trying to bring humor into this and he chuckled.
"Thanks bro."
"No problem."
"Just go for it Ed. Who gives a shit that you're fucking emo?" I rolled my eyes. "Who cares if you aren't exactly prince charming? I know I don't baby." He said and I flipped him off.
"Why are you saying this? I thought you wanted me to hurt Bella?"
"Nah, I was just pissed at her for snitching us out. Now, I don't care. She's pretty cool. Did you know she listens to Radiohead? Fucking Radiohead! That already makes her ten times cooler than before." he said and I nodded while laughing, but suddenly stopped.
"You can't tell Rosalie."
"Why would I? And why not? It might get her off your ass about the bet."
"No, she would run and tell Bella about it just to hurt her. Your sister is a bitch." I said and he nodded.
"Give her a break. You know why she is like that."
"Yes, but that doesn't give her the right to fuck with everyone. It's not Bella's fault what happened to her. Rosalie needs to stop blaming the world and other girls for what happened. It's not going to change anything." I said and we both said nothing more as we heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
"Shit Alice. That was the longest phone call ever. Jasper almost turned gay for me while you were gone." I said and they both laughed.
"In your dreams Eddiepuss." She said wrapping an arm around Jaspers. "It was Bella. We girls have a lot to talk about." I rolled my eyes trying to hide the joy I felt that Bella called. She called my sister. I'm fucking lame.
"Lets go babe." Alice said and winked at him.
"See ya!" Jasper shouted as they headed out the door.
I jumped up and ran to my room. I threw on a shirt and a pair of jeans and grabbed my keys. I headed to Bella's house and on the way thought of what I was going to say to her. I had to let her know that I needed her in any way. I can be her friend. I can do that. I can be whatever she wants me to be. I can be there whenever she needs me. I won't act like an asshole anymore.
This plan of mine didn't work obviously. I'm shit and I'm pretty sure she misses me to. I know it. We can talk this out. I'll explain everything to her. We can go back to normal, before I decided to fuck everything up with that kiss and by acting like a jackass…
"Bella isn't here." Renee said at her door.
"Um…I know she doesn't want to see me, but I know she's here. Her truck is over there." I said pointing at the ugly truck and Renee smiled.
"It wouldn't start this morning so Alice gave her a ride to school. She isn't here right now, because she's at work. I took her." Renee said and I felt like a douche.
"Work?"
"Yeah, it's her first day. She didn't tell you?" she asked as if Bella would tell me. Apparently Renee has no clue about her daughter's friendships.
"Um I heard something about it." I said nervously.
"Alright…I would like to chat and all Edward, but I have to go to work myself. I'm working a night shift at a 24 hour diner and I have to get going." She said and I nodded as I got that she wanted me to get the fuck away from her house.
I drove to Newtons Sporting Supply and it was empty as usual. I parked in the first parking spot I saw and sort of ran to the entrance. As I entered the store, I immediately saw Bella at a cash register. She was wearing those amazing jeans, Alice bought in freaking bunches, and a blue vest with the Newton logo and her name tag. I smiled like a fucking dumbass. But my smile quickly disappeared when I realized Mike was standing by her side…with a hand on her shoulder.
"You press this button when they want to pay with a debit card and this one is for credit. You press this button for cash back and this one to cancel a transaction." Mike said and Bella nodded, trying to show that she understood. Mike smiled down at her and patted her back. He mumbled something and Bella giggled. He smiled, looking like a smug bastard. While Bella studied the cash resistor, Mike kept glancing down at her ass.
"Mike, get your ass to my office!" A male voice said through Mike's radio.
"Ugh. I'll be back, Bella. Just call me if you get lost." Mike said and left after caressing her back and winking at her. I was going to kill Mike. I slowly walked to Bella and it took her a moment to realize I was standing in front of her. She jumped a little and I smiled at her, but she didn't smile back.
"What are you doing here, Edward?" she asked in an angry whisper.
"Um uh…I just…" Suddenly I had forgotten how to speak.
"Um what?" she said annoyed.
"I just wanted to see you on your first day at work. Are you alright? Do you like it here? I'm glad you finally got a job like you wanted."
"What? You're kidding right? Edward, I can't have conversations with clients, please leave." She said and fiddled with the cash register.
"I'm not a client. I just came to see you."
"Well with more reason you need to leave. I don't want to get fired. I just got this job." She huffed and I rolled my eyes.
"Please Bella, I need to talk to you." I pleaded, but she didn't seem to care.
"I can't. We don't have anything to talk about."
"I do. Why won't you let me?" I asked, a little angered and I wished I had not raised my voice as Bella was now bitch-facing me. We stood in silence for a long while, looking at the floor. I sighed and placed my hand on the counter, next to hers. I slowly moved my hand closer to hers and slowly moved my fingers on top of hers. She turned her hand and intertwined her fingers with mine and there it was again.
That weird warmth that just takes over me…it was there again. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. I knew she could feel it too.
"Look Edward," she said whispered and opened her eyes, but she still wasn't looking at me. "I want to talk to you. I want to tell you how much you make me mad and how much I want you around and as far away from me as possible at the same time. I want to tell you that I…I just want my friend back." Her voice broke and she quickly shook her head as if trying to hide it. But I could still see the hurt in her face. "But it will be just a waste of time and words. You can't just take shit back and pretend like we're buddies again. You might regret our small time together, but I don't. Don't ruin my last memories of you. Don't pretend like you want to be my friend and that you even want me around. Just. Leave. Me. Alone. I don't need this." She sternly said and I realized this was going to be more difficult than I had thought. I had completely convinced her. I had royally fucked up. But I had to fix this.
I will probably never grow the balls to tell her, but I could at least make her feel it.
"Please Bella. Just give me chance." I said and she snapped her eyes to me. She was pissed.
"Edward…just…" she pulled her hand away from mine.
"Bella, I wanna explain things. I want to fix things. I want …"
"Bella who is so stella!" A loud husky voice suddenly cut me off. Bella snapped her eyes to the direction of the voice and her face lit up and a giant smile appeared on her face.
"Jake!" She shouted in excitement and ran out of her cashier box and into the arms of a very tall, muscular, dark kid with long black hair.
"Jake you're back!" she shouted as this Jake lifted her up and spun her around. They both laughed and held on to each other for dear life.
"Duh chica! I told you I would be!" He said with laughter.
He told her? When? And how come I didn't know? I tried to calm my stupid anger as I had no right to get pissed. Jake placed Bella on her feet again and I didn't why I felt like pushing him away from her. She was so tiny standing next to this giant. He looked like he was going to break her.
"Wow Jake, you're so damn big now?" She said squeezing one of his biceps and he laughed, loudly.
"Just growing up Bells." Bells? What the fuck? "But look at you? You look smoking hot! Where's my friend, Bella smella? What did you do to her?" he said and she giggled, slapping his big chest.
"When did you get here?"
"This morning. We had to stop by the reservation first. I decided I would surprise you, but Renee said you worked here now. Which shocked me, because you and I know you don't know squat about sporting goods." He said and tickled her belly. Bella giggled again and Jake smiled, showing his pearly teeth.
Fucking douche.
"I missed you Jacob." So his real name is Jacob. Even more douchier.
"I missed you too, Bells…" I decided I had to end this little reunion.
"Bella," I said and walked up to them. "Are you going to present me to your friend?" I said trying to hide my anger and I knew she could see it. He could see it, but he didn't seem give a shit. Bella sighed in annoyance.
"Edward," she said. "This is my friend…"
"Best friend…" Jacob interrupted her and wrapped a huge arm around her shoulders. Bella smiled and held onto his arm with her small hands. She was doing it on purpose. I held in multiple curse words and the need to punch Jacob in the face. He was still smiling.
"Yes, from childhood, Jacob Black. Jacob this…this is…Edward Cullen." She said waving at me. It hurt that I had no special title. It hurt how she didn't sound so excited about me.
"Hey dude." Jacob said and roughly slapped my shoulder. I found myself trying to stand up tall and firm. I'm an idiot, this shithead is fucking huge. I thought I had seen him somewhere. Maybe Bella's pictures, he must have been one of the Native American kids in her pictures. But I had a feeling I had seen him somewhere else.
"Sup…" I popped the "p" and Bella rolled her eyes.
"Dude what happened to you eye?" he asked, looking at my eye as if I was a freak.
"I sort of got into a fight."
"Sorta'? You mean you did?" He laughed. "Does the other guy look as bad or did you lose?" I was losing my cool and Bella noticed.
"Edward, I think you should leave." She said and I looked at her. How can she say that…like that?
"I thought we were going to talk?"
"I never said we were." She said calmly. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.
"Bella please…"
"Dude, she said no." Jacob said while standing in front of her. He was acting like the fucking hero. He pulled her behind his back and took a step toward me.
"I wasn't talking to you Jakkke." I said with a clenched jaw and fisted hands.
"But you're bothering her. She clearly doesn't want to talk to you. Now fuck off." He said and pushed me. It was a warning push, but it fucking pissed me off. We had hated each other from the moment we saw each other. This wasn't good. I was about to snap at him when Bella rushed in front of him.
"We'll talk later. I'll call you tonight. Okay? Just go!" she said in panic. She was just trying to stop the inevitable fight. I realized she was stopping me with her hands on my chest. I guess I was charging at Jacob.
"Tonight? You promise?" I whispered at her sadly and she just nodded. "Okay. Please, Bella. I need to talk to you. I need you to hear me out." I said and pulled her into my chest and hugged her.
She didn't hug me back, but I made sure to make the hug extra long in front of Jacob. He just smirked and rolled his eyes.
Asshole.
"I'm sorry." I whispered into her ear and she sighed brokenly. "Please call me." I said and let her go, not before quickly caressing her cheeks with my hands. Her eyes were watery and I knew she was hurting. I was hurting her. But I was going to fix this.
"Okay." She simply said and bit her lip. She returned back to Jacob and I glared at him one more time, but he just chuckled.
I left the Newton's store hopeful and excited that Bella had promised to give me a chance to talk to her. I was going to earn her back. I was going to do anything. First I had to talk to her. Tonight I would do that.
But she never called.
OME. So I've finally answered those of you who have been asking me about Jacob. Will Eddie be jealous? Duh! Of course he will, because that's Edward and that was why Jacob was created by SM. Though I want to slap her for it sometimes…
I admit (sorry Team Jacob fans) I hate book Jacob with a fury and I especially hate movie Jacob. At least book Jacob was funny and had his cute moments, but movie Jake…ugh! He's all serious and stuff. My Jacob is early chapters of New Moon Jacob, before he cut his hair and became annoyingly clingy of Bella. I liked "friend" Jacob…sort of.
Again and always, thanks crazy9girl for the banner.
P.S I'm serious about the beta thing. I would love to have someone help polish this story up. I want to post it up in other websites and it would look totally awesome if it looked like I could actually spell and put those stupid commas where they go. You can take your time, I won't rush you. I already have the first two chapters betad? Beta'ed? Whatever… It would be even cooler if it was someone who has already read this story and knows my writing style and my error tendencies. So for those of you who love to point my Edward style fuck ups, (bahahaha) this is your chance! Send me a PM or comment a way to contact you. I will keep begging on every A/N if need be : )