So I'm sorta late…hope you forgive me. Thank you all for your lovely reviews and your offered help to my non-beta problem. I didn't think I would get that many offers, but I'm an ass and underestimated your love. The amount of offers was overwhelming and I realized that you kinda do like this story. Some of you like it so much, you offered your help to me. I'm deeply moved and full of gratitude for all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my bruised heart.

It was a tough decision, but I finally asked the sweet and awesome lizde and the lovely edwardrocksmysocks. She rocks MY socks. She beta'ed this chapter, so for the first time there will not be any missing commas, periods, misspellings (totes unintentional) and just pure embarrassment in a chapter in this story bahaha. So get of my ass you English language and grammatical freaks bahaha I love you anyway.

Some more info at the end A/N. Here is Bella…and that kid I "like", Jacob.

Chapter 21/Bella/Everlasting Friend

"What's wrong Bells?" Jacob asked as he drove me home.

"Nothing. I'm just tired," I mumbled as I looked out my passenger window.

The truth was that everything was wrong. It was wrong that I wanted to see the one boy that had managed to hurt my feelings. It was wrong that I did want to call him and actually give him a chance to explain whatever it was that he wanted to explain. It was wrong that it made me happy—though I didn't show it—that he had visited me on my first day at my new job. It was wrong that I couldn't even fully enjoy that my best friend, who I had not seen in three years, was back in town and back into my life.

It was just wrong.

After Edward left, Jacob acted like nothing had happened. He acted as if he hadn't almost gotten in a fight with another person, but that was Jacob. He brushed trouble off his shoulder and didn't think about shit more than he had to. He wasn't like me. I admired him.

I had missed Jacob.

I realized how much I had missed him, when he waited for me to end my shift at the Newtons by sitting on a bench for four hours. The bench wasn't so far from my cash register, so we managed to talk…a lot. It was what Mike called "slow season" and we hardly had any customers come by. Jake spent most of the time talking about Arizona and New Mexico and about some friends he had made. He had managed to stay out of trouble and though he wasn't a good student, he had not once pissed Billy Black off…well not often.

Jacob had always been all smiles and jokes, so it wasn't shocking that Mike and he actually got along. They looked like they had been buddies for years but that's just the way Jacob is, always making you feel comfortable. They actually spent a long time talking about sports and—though I had no clue what the hell they were talking about—it made me excited to see Jake back and talking to my sorta boss.

I just really missed Jake.

I said that already.

Though I had managed to get to talk to Jacob during my whole shift, in the back of my mind all I could think of was Edward. It could be a word Jake used. It could be the way he would say something or by the way he used the word fuck a lot, anything really would remind me of him. And I hated him for it.

I kept analyzing the reasons why I should and shouldn't call him. I kept replaying his voice in my head and I couldn't, for the life of me, get rid of the ache in my chest. I was so confused and angered by him. I couldn't name the damn feeling pounding in my chest.

"That asshole, Edwin, totally has the hots for you," Jake said and I gasped as I looked at him. I could see the smirk on his face even in the dark of his car. Jerk!

"What?"

"Edwin, he likes you. I could tell by the way he wanted to kick my ass," he chuckled.

"You're so wrong," I laughed nervously.

"About what?"

"About everything. His name is Edward, not Edwin and he doesn't have the 'hots' for me. You're crazy," I scoffed causing him to chuckle more.

"Bells, I'm a dude."

"So?"

"Sooooo, I know when a guy has a thing for a girl."

"That's kinda gay of you," I joked and Jake chuckled…again.

"Shut up Smella. Look, Edwin has…"

"Edward!"

"Edward, has all the symptoms. He had that look on his face. That look…the one…um…you know," he said scratching the back of his neck.

"No, I don't actually. Care to explain the look please?"

"The puppy eyes and the 'I'm a fucking douche, but can I pretty please make out' with you kinda look," Jake said and I giggled.

"Can't say I figured that look out," I said with heavy sarcasm. "I guess I'm blind. You're ridiculous Jake, I totally didn't see that,"

"Because you don't know guys. Every guy has the same codes and acts the same around a pretty girl."

"Am I a pretty girl?" I asked fluttering my eye lashes at him which only caused him to laugh.

"Bella, if you weren't like my sister—and if it wasn't weird—I would totally bang you. You're a smokin' hot babe!" He said. He stuck his tongue out, licked his finger and poked my arm making a sizzling noise. I giggled again and slapped his big, muscular arm.

"Shut up. You're just teasing me."

"Bella don't be stupid. Even Mike drooled. I tell ya', you have boys going crazy now. Last time I saw you, you had never had a boyfriend."

"Um…I still haven't," I said embarrassed.

"What? I swear the male population in Forks is fucking stupid."

"You're sweet Jake," I giggled and kissed him on the cheek. He smelled like cologne and cigarettes. "You smoke now?"

"Eh, not that much. My dad almost kicked my ass when he found out, but he's in a wheelchair. So that didn't workout and I still smoke," he joked and I slapped his arm again.

"Don't make fun of your dad," I said which only caused him to laugh louder.

I realized Jake wasn't taking me home when we passed my street. I didn't ask as he only wiggled his eyebrows when I looked at him. We ended up at the local diner where he ordered my favorite blueberry pancakes and got himself an omelet.

"You know, it's almost 10 o'clock and I have school tomorrow," I said shoving a fork full of pancake awesomeness into my mouth.

"I know. I do too, but knowing you, you haven't been here since I left. The sheltered bunny had to have her pancakes again some day," he said as he poured a ridiculous amount of red hot sauce on his omelet. "Besides, it's been a while since I had breakfast this early," he joked and I smiled.

I smile a lot around him.

We ate in silence. Though we had been away from each other for so many years, it didn't feel like much time had passed when we were together. It was always comfortable and there was never the tense silence.

I didn't realize how hungry I actually was until I looked at my empty plate and empty glass of orange juice. Jake wiped his mouth with a napkin and burped loudly and obnoxiously causing me to giggle as the waitress walked to us at the exact same time. He smiled at her sheepishly and after she left, we exploded with laughter again. I felt like a kid. I had missed that feeling. We chatted about his girlfriends and how he lost his virginity to some college girl. I didn't believe half of the crap he said about what happened, but it did make me laugh. He joked constantly, even about losing his virginity. He hadn't changed a bit. Well, he was much bigger now and his maturity level had increased slightly. I do mean slightly. I loved him though.

Even back then, when he was still around and life was a worse hell, Jake always managed to warm my cold life and shine in my eyes. He managed to make me forget about things and time.

Time.

"Shit!" I said and buried my hands in my pockets.

"What? What did you lose?" he asked.

"Um…I need…where did I leave my phone? Did I even take it to work? Shit," I huffed as I looked for that damn phone.

"You have a phone now? Who do you need to call? I thought I was all you ever wanted," he joked and I rolled my eyes.

"Jake, this isn't the time for jokes. I need to find that phone,"

"Well you can use mine," he said offering me his phone, but I just pushed it away.

"No Jake, its fine. I don't remember the number anyway. It's saved in my phone. I think I left it on my nightstand. I'm just not used to having one," I said disappointedly.

"Well, it's okay, Bells. Don't beat yourself up. I'll take you home and you can call Edwin and explain." I glared at him. "Chillax Bells. Who is he anyway?"

"Some guy," I mumbled looking away. I was afraid Jake would see everything in my eyes. He saw it anyway.

"Uh huh, and my junk is small," he said sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

"Eww!" I threw a dirty napkin at him and he caught it with his mouth. "You dog,"

"Who is Edward?" He wasn't giving up.

"I thought he was my friend then he started acting weird and I can't take his shit. I've already been through a lot of shit. And he doesn't give a shit!"

"Quit saying shit, Bells."

"Right."

"So he's a friend?"

"Yes…or was at least."

"He doesn't look like the kind of guy that would want to be your friend."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I couldn't control the anger in my voice, but Jacob just smiled.

"I just meant that he looks like the typical popular kid. A complete douche."

"He is not a douche. Yes he is popular, but you don't know him. They don't know him."

"And you do?" I stared at Jacob who waited for my answer. I smiled and nodded.

"Yes. There is more to him and I think even he himself doesn't see it," I said sadly. "I promised I would call him."

"I'm sure he will forgive you and get over it," he said and I smiled at him.

I hope so.

Jake took me home and parked his car in the drive way. We stayed in his car for a little while, just listening to the night. He wouldn't dare put music on, because he was probably listening to rap and he knew how much I hated that crap.

Hey you rhymed.

Ugh, it's you inner voice. I loathe thee.

"I didn't realize how much I missed you Bells until now. Now you have to go to your room and I have to drive back to La Push. I fucking miss you already…again," he said and even in the dark I could see his bright smile.

"I miss you too," I said and he took my pale hand into his large, manly, russet colored hand.

"My dad misses you too. You should come to La Push and visit him. I'm sure it'll make him happy. It would make me happy," he said lowly. I turned away.

"I um…uh…" I stuttered nervously.

"Bells, they don't care anymore," he whispered. "They know why. They're just pissed you didn't speak up or defend them. The cops probably still think it was them who hurt you but they sort of know why. They don't hold a grudge. They miss you too," Jake said as I held back the stupid tears.

"How did you find out?" I asked my voice shaky with pain.

"I sorta suspected something was bad. It freaked me out. So when I threatened Leah to runaway from home and come here to see if you were okay, she told me everything. She told me about the hospital stay and about the cops asking questions. She had figured it out and I figured it out. Why didn't you tell me about it?"

"Because, what was the point? You were leaving anyway."

"I know, but I would have stayed. I would have stayed to protect you." This had gone from a sweet moment to a sour and painful argument about my past. I really didn't like that Jacob knew. It was embarrassing. I felt like I had disappointed him. I had always promised him that I would protect myself and find a way out, before it got worse.

I never did.

"I know and that's why I didn't say anything. You were just a kid. You needed to go with your dad."

"But you're my best friend…fuck that, you're family. Family protects…"

"But they also hurt."

"I wouldn't have allowed it," he said sadly. "I can't believe he hurt you that bad. That fucking bastard! I would have bashed his skull in. I have always hated him. I hated him for the shit he did to you."

"But now he's gone."

"Yeah, but don't think he has forgotten about you or about Renee."

"Please Jake, let's not talk about him now. I'm so happy you're here and I don't wanna ruin the night," I pleaded and he just nodded. He wrapped an arm around my back and pulled me into his chest.

This didn't feel right. It was right, because he was my buddy and I loved him, but it just wasn't the way…he made me feel when he held me.

"You're right but, come on, promise me you'll at least think about coming to La Push."

"They never did like me. I was just your pale faced friend," I said and he chuckled.

"They did like you. The rez is just like that 'cuz you're a white demon', but they like you," he said and I rolled my eyes.

He walked me to my door and gave me one last tight hug.

"You could stay. Mom would be happy to see you again. She's at work now, but I'm sure she'll be back in a few hours," I suggested.

"Bells, it's already late and you have school. I already said hello to your Mom. Go get some rest," he said and gave me one last bear hug.

"You're a freak, Black. A huge freak," I said into his big chest and his laughter vibrated on my face.

I closed the door behind me after Jake left and headed to my room. It had been a long day. I had never felt so tired. It wasn't like it was hard work messing with a cash register, but I had been standing on my feet for five straight hours.

I opened the door and took a deep breath as I entered my room. It was too dark so I reached for the light switch and I felt him before I saw him.

"Shit!" I screamed as my eyes found Edward sitting on my bed. He looked tired and sad, but most of all, pissed.

"You didn't call," he said lowly and stood up. For some reason it caused me to take a step back away from him. Hurt crossed his face as I did it.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I waited for your call," he sniffed. "But it never happened. I was fucking worried sick. I began thinking about all these fucked up scenarios involving Charles. Then I get here and you're not here and I find that you were out with that asshole!" He said roughly and the anger in his face not only scared me, it confused me. He quickly realized what he was doing to me and shook his head. He ran a hand through his mess of hair and took in a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry Bella," he whispered brokenly. "I just…I just haven't been well lately," he said and sat back down on my bed. I took a few steps towards him and he just stared at the floor.

"I forgot my phone and I couldn't remember your number. I was going to call you, I swear," I whispered and I immediately felt stupid as I should be the one angry with him. He knew that too.

"It's alright. It's my fault," he sighed. He finally looked up at me and smiled sadly. "He's you're best friend, huh?"

"Yep."

"Hmm, don't know why that makes me happy for you, but at the same time pissed at him." I smiled at him and sat on the bed, far from him, but still…

"Why are you here?" I asked lowly and he didn't answer or look at me. The shadows under his eyes and the stubble on his jaw made him look older. The bruising on his eye looked worse and I wanted to reach out and caress it. I hated Eric Yorkie. "Why are you here, Edward?" I asked again.

"Do you remember when I stayed for the first time? After I saw your father hit you," he cleared his throat. "Do you remember?"

"Yes," I answered not understanding where he was going with this.

"I've been asking myself the same thing since then. Why am I here? I…" He turned his face toward me, his eyes not meeting mine still and took my hand in his. "Something just kept pulling me to this room and to you. I didn't know what it was, but I let it. I might have tried to fight it a few times. I acted like an asshole on purpose, just to stay away. But it was no fucking use. I don't remember when it happened, but I just let it bring me to you," he said. I could hear the knot in his throat and he tried to clear it.

He slid closer to me and gently placed his face in my neck and inhaled. I let him. I wanted him to. I'm stupid but I couldn't find it in me to give a shit right now. This feels so good. It feels right.

He sighed and pressed his forehead on my shoulder. My arms found their way around his shaky body and he sighed again. He didn't move or say anything and I didn't mind. This wasn't going to end well and if I could extend the good just for a few more seconds I would.

"I thought I was trying to protect you. I thought I was trying to save you and I was trying to do that, but…I wanted you to save me. I know how fucked up or cheesy that might sound, but I had never felt so alive until I realized I needed you. I need you Bella," he whispered the last part and I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. I didn't even realize I was crying like an idiot.

He kissed my shoulder and kissed my neck. I shuddered at the warmth of his soft lips on my skin. He pressed his lips to my neck again, this time lingering his lips on my skin a little longer. I gasped at how good it felt and I could feel his smile on my neck. He finally looked at me in the eyes and pressed his nose against mine. His warm breath was intoxicating and I lost my breath when he licked his lips. Hise lips neared mine and I wanted to pull away.

"Please, forgive me Bella. I can't do this anymore. I'm so sorry. I'll never fail you again." His beautiful, desperate breaths caused my head to spin and it angered me at the same time.

Had he seriously forgotten how he had acted? Didn't he know, how pissed I was at him?

Of course he does, that's why he's trying make it up to you and you're falling for it.

Did he seriously think I would get over it so easily?

I was too busy arguing with my inner voice and distracted by the perfection that were Edward's lips, that I didn't notice him closing the space between us. He took my lower lip into his warm mouth and I had no clue of what to do. I had never kissed anybody in my life and I wanted to kiss him back. I wanted to know how it felt to let go.

He sucked on my lower lip lightly and gently pulled it until it slipped out of his mouth. I whimpered. I had no idea how I had let that happen, but before I could do anything else, he had fully pressed his lips to mine.

He had hurt me.

Same lips that kissed Tanya…

I quickly pulled away and he looked surprised. I wanted to yell at him, but no voice came out. He launched himself at my lips again, but I managed to gather up the strength to pull away.

"Don't," I whispered breathlessly.

"Why not?" He asked against my lips. His warm breath hit me like drug.

"Because I don't want you to regret it later. I won't be able to stand it."

"What? I could never…" Realization of what I believed flashed across his eyes and he removed his face away from mine placing his hands on my cheeks. "Bella, I don't regret anything with you. I do regret acting like an asshole before I really knew you and then how I've acted recently. I know I fucked up, but I will spend a lifetime trying to make it up to you." I felt as if his hands were burning through my cheeks.

"And why would you do that?"

"Because," he said rubbing circles on my cheeks with his thumbs. "Because I want you. I'm a fucking mess without you. I told you I needed you and I'm not bullshitting. I know you probably hate me now and any trust you had in me disappeared, but I swear I will never let you down again."

I pulled his hands away from my face and tried to scoot myself away from him, but my back ended up against the headboard. This was too much. How did he want me? I didn't understand this need he had for me. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Why couldn't he just stop confusing me?

"I have nothing to give you. Besides, you seem to have it alright without me. I'm just some stupid girl. You don't have to feel bad for me anymore! You're free to go."

"What does that even mean?" He asked angrily.

"You say you need me, but I don't have anything to offer. Why do you need me? Why would someone like you ever need someone like me? I don't get it. It just doesn't make any sense to me," I said really wished I wasn't crying at that moment, but I broke. I had broken and he knew it. It wasn't entirely his fault. He was asking me to be there for him but I'm too weak and he's not trustworthy. "Why would you want me?"

"Because, it's you…always you. Everything lets me down. My real parents let me down. My new family doesn't understand why I'm so fucking pissed at the world. They expect me to be happy with them, but they don't see that I do need them. I don't want their pity. I want them to listen to me for once. Everyone sees something negative in me and always expects me to fuck up, so I do. I let myself down time after time. And then…and then there's you," he whispered and a single tear rolled down his right cheek.

"There's me before you and everything else that's bad and then…and then there's you. I can't let go now. I'm too fucking selfish. I tried not to be and stay away from you, but I ended up fucking things up instead of fixing them. I know I hurt you, but I want to fix that too. Just let me. Give me a chance. I'll do whatever you want. What is it that you want?" He pleaded and I wiped away the tears away from my eyes. He did the same with his own as he slipped to the floor and got on his knees in front of me.

"Please, just tell me what you want. Tell me what you need."

"I just want my friend back," I said brokenly and he nodded. I could tell he was disappointed by my answer, but I was not ready for what he really wanted. I couldn't even believe he wanted me…that way. He was kissing me!

"That's cool too. I can be that. I can be your friend and then maybe one day, you can see me like…shit um…like you know…" He scratched his head. "Like you could see me like a boyfriend or some shit like that." I couldn't believe his words and looked at him incredulously.

"You want to be my what?"

"Yeah, um…" he cut me off nervously. I didn't know whether to giggle at his nerves or slap him for saying something so ridiculous.

"I've never been anybody's girlfriend and I don't know if I would be any good at it. I'm just a fucked up, and paranoid girl that doesn't know much. I don't even know how to kiss."

"That's fine, I can teach you. I'm fucked up too and paranoid. See, we're good together," he said and I couldn't help but smile.

"Edward, I don't even know if I could be acquaintances with you. One minute you're making out with Tanya and then you want to be my…"

"I hate her. I mean she doesn't mean anything to me. I just did it so you would think the worst and just forget about me. But I hated every second of that kiss. I only wanna kiss you," he said and sat on my bed again. He cupped my cheeks with his hands and ran a thumb across my lower lip. I shivered and reluctantly pulled away. His hands fell on his lap.

Friends," I said sternly. He sighed dejectedly.

"Yeah…we can be that too," he said sounding annoyed and defeated.

"But things can't go back to normal. Things changed too much. You changed…"

"No, I just acted different because it was part of my stupid plan to stay away from you so I wouldn't ruin you."

"Ruin me? I'm already…"

"No, you're not. You're the best fucking person I know. You don't' ever lecture or judge me. You don't let anybody destroy you. You're fucking stronger than anybody I know. Stronger than me. I'm sorry I kissed Tanya."

"I don't see why you have to apologize. It's not like we're anything outside the weak friendship walls that we have built." I sort of regretted saying those things, because of the pain stricken look on Edward's face.

"I know, but it made you upset. I mean I wanted it to piss you off, but…"

"Well you succeeded! I wanted to…ugh I wanted to hit her and hit you."

"Please," he stopped and slowly smirked at me. "You're jealous," he chuckled.

"Oh shut up! Don't think so high of yourself. I was not jealous," I said annoyed, though he was right. He chuckled again and I slapped his arm.

"Ouch," he laughed again.

"Whatever!"

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about all the shit I did. For kissing Tanya, almost kicking that Jacob's ass and for fighting with Eric and scaring you, I'm sorry. You don't know much I fucking hated myself for scaring you."

"Why did you fight with him? I thought you were friends with him."

"I have never been friends with that asshole. He thought he was my friend, but I've only had one friend in my life and that's you."

"That's sweet and all, but you didn't answer why you got into a fight with him," I said and he rolled his eyes.

"Bella, if you haven't noticed you're little make-over has all the assholes at school fighting and drooling over you. He was saying some shit about uh, um…just some really disrespectful and degrading things about you."

"You fought because of me?"

"I wanted to. I needed to kick his ass for the nasty shit he said about you," he said and I could tell he was getting upset all over again just thinking about it. "I will never let anybody degrade you like that."

"Okay Edward, we can be friends again."

"Really? You forgive me?"

"I don't know. I don't think so, but maybe with time." He just nodded. I felt like he was taking what he could get.

"We have to set rules for our friendship," I said and he questioned me with his eyes. "No more fighting. Since we've been spending time together, you have managed to get into a fight twice. You have to stop that shit." He nodded. "No more acting like an asshole if you're confused and don't you dare make decisions for me. Quit pretending you know what's good for me. My father didn't even do that. So stop thinking you know everything. How the hell do you know if I want you around or not?" I exclaimed and he smiled at my annoyance. "And last…you can't keep sneaking into my room," I said sadly and his smiled turned into a frown.

"What? Why?" He sounded desperate.

"Because, it would only cause me to lose what I want. I would fall for you Edward Cullen and I can't afford to do that. Not now. I don't trust you. We need distance. We need to act like real friends," I said and he nodded weakly. "Real friends don't kiss. You can't stay here. I don't trust myself and I don't trust you to keep to yourself."

"I deserve that," he said sadly and I rolled my eyes.

"This isn't a punishment. It's a rule. For some reason I want you around, Edward. The one time you kissed me, I ended up losing you. I'd rather have you farther away and as a friend than to lose you all over again; forever."

"But that's…" he sighed in frustration. "Then how the hell are we supposed to act?"

"You can say hi to me at school. Let me borrow a pencil when I need one, help me on my homework when I need it or just be there when I'm having an off day. Ask me what's wrong when I look pissed and make me laugh. Just be my friend."

"Can we hang out? I can take you to Port Angeles and buy you stuff."

"Edward, I don't need you to buy me anything."

"Can we still hang out? Outside your room obviously," he asked and I smiled at his persistence.

"Sure, friends do that right?"

"Yeah, all the time."

"Then I guess, sure."

"Fuckawesome." I giggled at him. "When? What time? Do you wanna go this weekend? I can…"

"I have to work and I promised Jacob I would visit his father after."

"Oh," he said looking away to hide his disappointment. I'm a weak person but I was determined to hold my ground.

"Um, Sunday I don't work, because the Newtons don't open up shop on Sundays." His head snapped up.

"Yeah, I can do Sunday. Where do you wanna go?"

"Anywhere," I simply said and he nodded.

"Alright, destination anywhere," he said and gave me a soft smile. "You're really giving me a shot?"

"I don't know why but, yes, I am. Just don't let me down, okay?"

"Okay," he whispered.

"You should go now. It's pretty late and I need to sleep." Edward nodded. He stood up and I followed him to my balcony window feeling weird that he was leaving so early in the night.

"Why are you sneaking out? My mom isn't even here."

"I know, but it will be the last time I do it. One more time, just for my memory," he said sadly. I don't why, but I felt so disappointed and melancholy that he was right. "Maybe some day I'll ask to come in and you'll let me, like a vampire," he said smiling and I watched as he climbed down my tree and walked into the night.

"Yep, just like a vampire. I want to. I want to let you in. Maybe some day," I whispered into my now empty room.

So some of you have asked for my update schedule and I shall tell you. I update every Sunday if my life doesn't get clogged with my stupid schedule that is currently full of math and biology homework. Seriously, who needs that crap in life? Sure as hell ain't me. (The Texan in me just comes out)

A huge hug to Mitsuko-chama who asked and I said hell yes, and is now translating my story into Russian. Isn't that freaking cool? I wish I could read Russian so I could understand the reviews, bahahaha. Unfortunately, I only understand English (barely lol) and Spanish. Los amo a todos.

Last, I realized I have never told you folk where the title of this story came from. My sister thinks the title is cheesy considering the content of my story, but I thought it fit well and I did get inspired to write this story by this song. Well, Edward's character was inspired by this song, though the meaning does fit Bella too. There's a lot of shit in life and then there's that one person who makes it all better. The song is And Then You by Greg Laswell. It's awesome and his voice is amazing. It turns me on a little…did I say that? I haven't even written smut in this story yet! Notice I said "yet." Listen to the song that inspired me to write our emotional Eddikins and let me know what you think of ATTY's unofficial song.

You+review button=me loves you.