Chapter 3 – Altercation

"You were just in the recuperating room," Zeke explained as he gave me the general tour of the basement. It was shaped like the letter 'U', with an elevator at the loop in the hallway. Two doors lined the wall across it – the offices – and the adjoining halls perpendicular to the base each had five rooms. At the far end of one of the halls was a small door, the room where I had been. "That's where we take all the new expirees to recover from the shock of separating from their bodies. It can take anywhere from seconds to months for someone to be completely healed from it, depending on the severity of their trauma."

I paused by the elevator and shot him a terse look. "How long have I been out for? I don't want to waste my time here learning about death. I want to get back to my Flock."

"Relax," he soothed. "From the time your spirit arrived until now, it's been approximately ten minutes. Right now your Flock is just beginning to notice that you're gone."

"Ten minutes?" It definitely felt a lot longer than that. I could have been out for years for all I knew.

He nodded impatiently. "Yes, yes, and if we don't hurry along you'll be late for your first class at Dead School. Usually all first-timers start in a beginner course, but since your stay might be short, the Council thought you should start with the first class that was available when you woke up."

"And that would be…?" I was getting tired of the explanation. As soon as I could, I was busting out of this place. Even though the hall wasn't congested or small, I was feeling twitchy. There were no windows, no exit doors… the only escape was the elevator, which apparently was programmed to never come down to the basement. How did the dead people get out of here? Did they live in classrooms? Was I meant to be stuck down here for eternity, without even getting a chance to look for Max and the Flock? Or more importantly, my body.

"Your first class is Dead Skills," he said with a sparkle in his eyes. "That was my personal favorite when I was enrolled in Dead School. There is so much you can learn about what abilities you'll develop… well, in your case possibly develop. Some powers are for the fully dead, but I'm sure you'll notice that some will work for you."

"That's why my hand went through the door? It was a Dead Skill?"

"Yes, and there are others you'll learn about, too." His buoyant expression changed to something more serious as his bright, wise eyes bore into mine. "If I were you, I'd really pay attention in class. You might learn something useful." He suddenly winked, returning to his usual state. "Okay, let me show you to the class before you're late!"

What had transpired there was something I knew I couldn't ignore. He'd heard my thoughts and was trying to help me find my body. Besides, what was one less dead person to them when people died all the time? I was surprised the recovery room didn't resemble more of a toy chest, with tons of characters piled on top of each other, each begging to be played with. They could live without me.

That was a joke. Get it?

I flipped through the pages of Death for Dummies while Zeke ushered me to my classroom. My eyes widened fractionally at the chapter titles as I scanned the table of contents. Introduction to Death. What's Next? Living the Dead Life. Dead Skills. Yeah, I was sure this book would totally ease the fears of any thantophobic (A/N a person who is afraid of death). This was even freaking me out, so you know it's pretty damn scary.

We stopped outside a door with an undertone of voices murmuring from the other side. I shot him a glance that said 'help me out here', but he only smirked. "Go on, this is Dead Skills. Class begins in a couple minutes."

I gripped the knob and turned, but it didn't budge. I raised an eyebrow at him. "It's locked," I pointed out.

He looked at me like I'd just said that the sky being blue was a big revelation. "Well, did you expect them to be kept open once the company closed the basement wing?"

I stared at him for a moment. "Then how do we get—" I didn't need to say any more as I thought about it. Oh.

"Yes, oh. We walk through the door."

"… and if I get stuck?"

"It takes practice. You spirit isn't used to being free from the rules of science. The more time you spend on perfecting your skills, the easier they'll come to you. Now come on, I'll help you through." He stepped through the door, and I watched in shock and amazement as his body completely passed to the other side. I inhaled deeply and straightened my shoulders. Touching it experimentally, feeling the wood on my fingertips, I pushed against it. And then I sort of willed myself to go through and I saw my hand disappear into the door. My arm followed and, seeing my success, jumped through the rest of the way.

It was an unusual feeling, not being solid anymore. I can't really describe the sensation of walking through objects, except it's kind of like passing through water without getting wet. My body fell out to the other side and Zeke steadied me before I could fall over. He nodded in approval. "Good job. Before you know it you'll be a pro."

"I'd rather not stick around long enough to find out," I muttered.

The noise that I'd heard before was suddenly cut off. I felt eyes looking at me from all over, and I lifted my head to see a classroom of about twenty teenagers staring at me from various degrees of shock, humor, and even disgust. Placing my best bored expression on my face, I looked back at Zeke. He understood what I wanted.

"Right, students!" He clapped his hands together and everyone turned their attention to him. "I'd like to introduce a new addition to class. This is Fang."

"Hi, Fang," the students replied in a monotonous, mechanical tone. Everyone was sitting in the perfectly set rows of five by six chairs, all the seats filled from the front with a few empty in the back.

"You can pick any seat you want," Zeke offered, and I nodded in response. I walked down the row closest to me since it was the least filled, heading for a seat in the back row. Some kids turned to watch me while I passed by and one of them gasped. I whirled to look at a small girl with short blond hair that looked appalled.

"Oh, my God! You have wings!" she announced. Everyone around stood up to get a better look. I tucked my wings tightly against my spine, hoping no one would ask me to show them.

"Hey, I remember you from the news," a boy said with wide, excited eyes. He spoke with a Southern accent. "You guys were at the Cowboys game. How'd you die, man?"

"Cool, wings! Show them!"

"What the hell? What kind of freak has wings?"

Everyone turned to look at the person who'd said the last comment. He was tall, but not as tall as I was, with short curly brown hair. He looked like the athletic type – he was wearing a track uniform – and had dark brown, hate-filled eyes. I raised a brow at him, daring him to set me off.

But like a good boy, he didn't say anything else.

"Don't mind him," the Southern boy said to me. "Derrick's a little angry that he never found out the results of his track meet. He got hit in a freak javelin accident and died."

"Don't tell him that," Derrick spat. "This place is for dead humans, not dead mutants. I don't care how special you were when you were alive, but now you're dead. So take your winged-ass out of here and go to the introductory class like the rest of us had to."

I approached him, giving him the most dark, threatening glance I could muster up. He took a few steps back, tensing up considerably.

"Fang, Derrick, settle down," Zeke ordered. Deciding to be the 'bigger man', I backed off, but not without giving Derrick another glance that said I would gladly rip his head off. He looked back at me with a look that was just as sinister. I sat down as far away from him as I could.

"Okay, everyone let's begin the lesson," Zeke went on.

I looked at him in confusion. He was my Death Guide and my teacher? Oh, jeez.

So a special thanks goes out to HecticWaterSprings546 for nominating this story in the MR FanFiction Awards for Best Parody!! I feel so honored, especially since I just started this story. So now I have two stories in there. :P Ahh, I'm excited!! hahaha I probably won't win anything but it means a lot that everyone likes the stories.

Just some reminders: vote on the poll on my profile in case you haven't already! Rock seems to be winning so far. :P Also, NSN fans, the next chapter should be out either today or tomorrow. Still not completely back to normal, but I'm getting there. :D If anyone here hasn't read Not So Normal, please do!! It will make me very happy! Also, I looked up what the word was for a person who has a fear of death, and then I felt kind of stupid for not knowing it since I read William Cullen Bryant's "Thanatopsis" which means "seeing death". It's an awesome poem, so you should check that out too!

Please review!!!!!!

--biteoutoflife--