Chapter 6 - Dilemma

When I arrived, I wasn't prepared for what I happened next.

It didn't surprise me to suddenly appear at the clearing I was at, right before I "died". I immediately recognized it, even though it looked like every other forest we had been in. It was sort of in the shape of a horseshoe, and in the distance I could hear the whooshing of the river. Ah, the scene of the crime. I would have run back there to look for my body right away if I hadn't been distressed by the voices rising into the thin air. And also the sniffling.

Oh, my God.

I took a survey of the land, seeing each of the flock members circled around a campfire. Max was standing in front of the others, like an orator telling a scary, ancient legend to children. The look on her face was carefully tough, her eyes extremely hard like dark topaz. She had her leader face on, but underneath everything I could see a sort of frenzy in her expression. And even deeper… pain? Everyone else had various looks of sadness, doubt, and hurt, too. Angel and Nudge had tears streaming down their cheeks. Total was curled up in between them, bawling his eyes out. Gazzy was holding back his cries, his hands holding his knees tightly. Iggy's eyes seemed even more unfocused than usual, but I could see a determination blazing underneath. Or maybe it was just the fire.

Had they seen my body? Did they know I was (sort of) dead? If so, then where was my body? They would never leave it behind, no matter what. That was our motto. We would never allow a family member's body to be left in the place they'd died, in the hands of enemies, or any other location that would bring us pain in remembering. Even Max had brought Ari back from Germany, and he was never an official member of the flock.

I was standing roughly twenty feet away in a position that I could see everyone's faces. Standing under the shadows of the large trees, it would almost be impossible for any of them to see me. I had a way of blending into any background, as well as naturally disappearing against a dark backdrop. That was useful during the night if we ever got attacked or if I needed to run away.

Part of me was dying to run over to them, to greet Max with a big hug, to tell them that everything was okay and that I'm not really dead— as un-Fang-like as that may sound. But another part of me was saying to lie low, to hear what they were talking about before I barge in. Talk about giving them a heart attack. Not to mention that Max would murder me, probably thinking that I'd ran away or pulled a huge prank on them. Which was something I would never, ever do.

I listened in to their conversation, dying to be there and let them know I'm okay.

"Guys, I think I'm gonna go out again," Max said, her voice sounding stern yet very tired.

"Why?" Gazzy asked. "Max, we've been out for hours."

"Yeah, we've finally taken a break. You should sit down and relax; you need it just as much as we do," Angel said.

Max sighed, and it took all my energy to keep my feet planted so I wouldn't run to her. "I have to keep looking. I can't sit still without knowing what happened to Fang. You guys stay here. Keep the fire low in case whoever got him comes back."

"What happens if you don't come back?" Nudge asked.

"Call my mom. Let her know what's going on. Only if I'm not back by morning. Iggy, you're in charge until then. Make sure everyone stays here in the general area, and make sure they're never out of hearing range. If whoever took Fang comes around and the odds are bad, split up, but otherwise stick together."

I noticed how she said 'whoever took Fang' instead considering other options. Like if I ran away, or if I died, or if I was temporarily dead and needed to find my body or else I would die. For good. But I guess it wasn't every day that something like that happened now was it?

"Behave, and get some sleep." Max turned around and started heading in my direction. My eyes widened. This was it. It was pretty obvious they hadn't found my body, but if I asked for help we could all look together. With seven pairs of eyes, we could fan out and cover more ground.

"Max," I called as I stepped out from the trees. To my surprise, she didn't respond. She didn't even look up in my direction. Hadn't she heard me? "Max," I said more loudly. Still no reaction.

Well, this wasn't good.

I ran out to her and waved my hands in front of her face, trying to get her attention, but she didn't see me. Realization dawned on me just then. Fuck. I can't believe I hadn't thought of this sooner! Why hadn't I learned from Scrooge?

I wasn't a physical being anymore! I was a spirit! They couldn't see me at all.

"Max! Max, Max, Max, Max, Max!!" My effort was futile, even though I was shouting in a way that I'd never had before. I was desperate, and she couldn't hear me. None of the flock did, either. This wasn't like when I was invisible, when they could still hear me if I spoke.

I was inches from Max now, and I stretched out my arm to restrain her from leaving, but I'm sure you figured out what happened. I did too, even though I was so desperate and crazed that I tried it anyway.

My hand went right through her.

This couldn't get any worse.

"Max, I'm right here! It's Fang! Please, don't go. I'm here, right beside you. I promised I'd never leave, and I'm keeping that promise. I'm here for you. Max, just listen, please!" I was close to hysterics, which was completely unlike me. It was hard to be here, knowing that my family was saddened by my sudden disappearance, and I was right here. They couldn't see me. Couldn't hear me. Can't feel my touch. I may seem like an apathetic jerk at times, but I did care about the other's feelings. It was killing me to see them so down, and it was even worse knowing that the cause of their pain was standing right there, trying to communicate with them.

Max ran a few steps and leapt into the sky, looking extremely beautiful, fierce, and graceful. I'd always teased her about her flying, but I was joking. Everything about her, her wings, her golden locks, her body, was perfect. God was she gorgeous. I couldn't believe when she finally accepted our relationship. And if I didn't do something fast, I would be separated from her for eternity.

I sprinted to the flock, who were still camped around the fire. "Guys, you can hear me, right? C'mon. It's Fang! You've know me your whole lives! Stop Max before she leaves because you don't have to look for me." I was starting to become like Nudge. I was rambling for no reason, saying stuff that would calm my nerves, even though it was making me more crazed by the second. Of course they didn't see me. I wasn't the Fang they were looking for. They needed my body, as evidence that they could find out what happened, or at least guess. They would think I died, and if I didn't tell them they would be crushed. I couldn't let that happen.

How could I let them know?

Angel? I thought hopefully. Maybe my mind was still present. Could she hear me? Angel, it's Fang. I'm here but you can't see me. Angel, go get Max before she does something stupid. You don't have to look for me…

I doubted she heard me. She would have done something, or at least perked up. Her head still hung low, looking the most down I had seen in a long time. That really stung. Angel was really precious to Max, and I guess to me, too. We practically raised her, and she was the youngest. I wished I could make it all better like when she cut her thumb on a rose bush, or if she stubbed her toe on a rock. This was one thing that I was completely incapable of doing alone, and yet that was the only way I could do it.

The reality of it all made me want to drop to the ground and retreat into myself, like I always did at the School. Every attempt seemed useless. There wasn't anything I could do.

I couldn't afford to give up trying.

Okay guys, this update would have come yesterday if Fanfiction hadn't been so stupid, like it has appeared to be for everyone. Even to get this up I had to be very sneaky and do things differently. But I'm keeping my techniques hush hush for the moment. ;)

She wants to move, that's what I like to hear! Hopefully this chapter satisfied part of your anticipation, although I admit nothing really exciting happened. StarofCalamity, are you serious? I hope you're just joking about Hardwicke. Thanks again Kiliro for giving me 6 extra reviews! Love ya!! And thanks to everyone else who reviewed.

Some updates: NSN chapter 30 is almost done, so I might have to be sneaky putting that one up, too. I like this version a lot better than the original chapter 30. Uh... I'm gonna be gone a few days this weekend, not sure whether it will be 2 or 3 days, though. I'm going to NYC with my aunt to see Wicked the Musical as an early birthday gift. So... if anyone wants to stop by Broadway... :P I'll post pictures on photobucket or something and put a link on my profile afterwards. I'm hoping our hotel has internet connection... :/

Review please!

--biteoutoflife--