I wrote you a poem. It's not very good, I'm sure, but it comes from the heart. I wrote all about how I felt you were perfect, and beautiful and so smart. The rest of this damn town is so fucking dumb they could find their heads attached to their necks, but not you. You could be the president one day, if you wanted. I would be the first husband. Doesn't that just tickle you? I want my hands on you, every fucking day. I see the way you smile at strangers and I swear I could just strangle them, but not you, Wildflower, never you. Well not until...well, that's not important. I've nearly lost my train of thought...Oh yes! I wrote you a poem. Not very good, you've probably had better. I'm not fancy like Shakespeare or Juilliard, or whatever, but it's from the heart. Sometimes those fancy writers can be so cold, they think about the technical and not the emotional. I've got tear stains on my paper to show just how emotional I am. You'll like it, won't you? I'll hate you forever if you don't.
P.S...Just in case you don't understand just how much I really love you, let me give you a hand...*
She hated hospitals. The sterile atmosphere, the dull white walls, faceless entities in scrubs and face masks. Sickness and death. For a girl like Caroline, it was the worst place to be. She shuddered to think of her brief stint in one. That was when she had been turned against her will. when she had had her humanity stripped from her for the upper hand in a childish game between Katherine and Damon. The anger in her for both of them smoldered deep, and because it threatened to consume her, Caroline stopped in the middle of the hall to catch her breath. She waited until she was could be the bright and energetic sunshine everyone expected her to be, the girl who never held grudges, was never angry even when it was expected. She knew she needed to be perfectly poised because a lot of people depended on it. She wished to god she could call her mom, but she hadn't been answering any of Caroline's calls. Normally Caroline would be worried about that, but she knew how much solving the case of Matt's attackers meant to her mom. she most likely wouldn't come out of her office until she at least had a substantial lead. Such was the life of a girl with a cop for a parent. Caroline stopped when she was just outside Matt's hospital room. It killed her a little to think of him in there so hurt. She just could not understand why anyone would do this to Matt. He'd had such a hard life, so many tough and often unfair deals, but he always shouldered those hardships as best he could and lived his life as honestly as he could. Caroline knew that she had been part of the problem with him before, lying to him and ultimately leaving him for his best friend. And now he lay hurt in a hospital bed. The doctor wanted Matt to get as much rest as possible and to concentrate on getting his memory back. Caroline was to not push him too hard, and she hoped that she wouldn't. She didn't want to do anything else to hurt Matt.
"Hey Matty. How you doing?"
Matt glanced over at the sound of Caroline's low voice. She hesitated at the doorway and that struck him as odd. One thing he knew about Caroline was that she was never hesitant. She buzzed from one spot to the next almost as a blur.
"Hey Care, I'm alright. Come on in."
"Oh! Don't try to sit up, Matt. It's fine." Caroline's voice held a tinge of panic when she saw Matt trying to sit up in his bed.
Matt's laughter was low and unmistakably amused, "I have a bump on the head, Care. I'm not invalid. I won't break if I sit up."
"I know. I'm sorry, but you should have seen yourself when you first got here. I've never seen you so vulnerable."
Matt nearly choked on the apple juice he was sipping on, "Caroline! Men are not vulnerable, I was not 'vulnerable' I was temporary immobilized."
Caroline chuckled and seated herself on the edge of his bed. His color was much better, and she had missed joking around with him. Nearly losing Matt had put a new fire under her butt. They may not be dating anymore, but Matt was one of her oldest friends. She would not lose him to death and certainly not to some silly relationship drama.
"Semantics. Besides, Matt, its been my experience that the manliest of men can be called anything and shoulder it. The words don't make the man, the man makes the words."
Caroline smiled widely at Matt's boom of laughter. That, too, was something she had missed. *
Jesse Boldari could have easily passed off as a model as he wandered the halls of the hospital. He turned more than a few heads, but continued on as if he didn't notice. He knew when his looks were useful and when he could use them, and he did so ruthlessly. He also knew when he was out of the loop. Something else entirely was happening in Mystic Falls, something that sheriff Forbes hadn't wanted him a part of. He had moved to the small town Virginia in the hopes of escaping the harsh streets of New York. He was only 26 and already he had seen too much in his young career. Everyday he thought of his ex-partner and what had happened to Brian...And because the thought of him managed to choke him up, had the familiar weakness locking up his muscles, Jesse forced himself not to think of it. He had left New York and that pain behind. He felt his luck change, swiftly, when he saw Bonnie Bennett rush into the corridor. He knew her young friend...Caroline Forbes, was visiting with Matthew Donovan and she would most likely want to give them some time alone. If his info was correct, the young Matthew and Caroline had a bit of history. Bonnie would want to give them some time alone. He took a second to study her. She seemed to be in a hurry for something, he had only spoken with her on a couple of occasions, and both times the girl had seemed preoccupied with something else. He never had the feeling that he had ever had her complete attention. she wasn't exactly a restful person, busy, worried, protective, brave...Jesse's career had been built on quick assumptions and he made his about her fairly early on. He had no doubt that she wasn't involved in the attack on Donovan, but she was holding something back. Jesse had decided to work with her for the time being. She really was very beautiful. Long curling hair fell in a mass of brown silk down her back, brilliant emerald eyes stared back at the world in a defiance he admired. She was small, maybe 5'3, but had a presence that was unmistakable.
"Miss Bennett."
Bonnie quickly turned to face Jesse Boldari, the young deputy from the other day, as he slowly made his way toward her. He had an infuriating air of arrogance that got under her skin. He knew he looked good, he knew he turned heads, and he walked with the easy confidence of a man accustomed to the attention. Bonnie was tempted to turn away, tell him she was too busy to talk to him, but she knew that would be petty. With Matt laying in the hospital, and the Sheriff dodging her calls, she couldn't afford to turn away help.
"Mr. Boldari. I'm not sure how much more I can tell you, but I'm glad you're here. It's nice to know the police are still invested in figuring this thing out."
"I don't shut a case until it's solved, Ms. Bennett."
Bonnie frowned a little at the way her name seemed to run off his tongue. Like smooth butter over toast, and eyed him suspiciously. He simply grinned at her and put a hand to her elbow with uncomfortable familiarity.
"You don't mind if we find a quieter spot to talk, do you Ms. Bennett?"
Bonnie continued to frown at him, but turned to lead him to the visiting area chairs.
"Like I said, Mr. Boldari-"
"Jesse. Please."
Yes, Bonnie thought, definitely something there. Must be all that Italian blood.
"Like I said, I'm not too sure how much more help I can be to you."
"Why don't you let me worry about that?"
Jesse seated himself and turned to look at her, really look at her. She seemed tired, stiff. He coulnd't be sure if the stiffness was due to him or too much worry and pressure on her shoulders. Either way, he strived to ease a bit of the tension in the air to loosen her up. He gave her an easy smile.
"You and Matt were close, it seems you all are. This is a small town, you're sure he didn't have enemies who would want to see him hurt? Maybe an old romantic interest? School mates? He used to date Elena Gilbert, correct? Isn't she seeing another student?"
Bonnie had to bite her lip to keep from striking out against the implications he was making against her best friends, "Stefan Salvatore. They've been dating for about a year and I can tell you that neither had anything to do with the attack on Matt."
But there was something about Salvatore. Bonnie wouldn't say anymore, and he decided not to push the issue.
"What about Tyler Lockwood? He and Matt were friends, played on the same team, and seem interested in the same girl. A little rivalry between them wouldn't surprise me."
"What? No! Matt and Tyler are like brothers, and Caroline would never allow them to fight over her, she'd leave them both if it ever came to that. They are not rivals, they are teammates. Besides, Tyler is the one who found him."
Jesse had no doubt that Tyler wasn't involved, but he needed Bonnie to think he was suspicious, it would be the best way to get anything out of her.
"Exactly. He found Matt, and as far as I'm concerned, was the only person to see him. Opportunity plus motive won't set well for your friend."
Bonnie jumped up out of her seat and regarded him with a glare that would have withered a lesser man than he.
"How dare you! How dare you sit here in my face and imply that my friends somehow had anything to do with this? You know what, Mr. Boldari, I don't have to sit here and listen to this. I thought you were smart, but if you're looking at Tyler for this, then you are as useless as your playboy good looks imply."
Jesse held up a hand to stop her tyrant, "Easy, Bonnie. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't look at every possible angle. Lockwood has to be carefully looked at before he can be dismissed as a suspect. I'm simply doing as thorough a job as I can. Out of total respect for the case."
As he had hoped, that took some of the fight out of her. He watched her take a deep breath, think her options through, and decide that he was indeed useful to her. His felt his respect for her grow as she calmly took her seat next to him.
"Fine, Mr. Boldari. I understand. But I can't help but reiterate that you're looking in the wrong place, with Tyler. I can tell you for a fact that he wasn't involved."
"Fine. Looks like we've got company."
Jesse tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice as he saw her young friend spot them and make his way over. He was slightly shocked to see him there, Jeremy Gilbert. His estimations were never off, and he pegged the kid as a drunk who most likely wouldn't be out of his room enough to be a bother. Jesse understood his reason for suddenly coming out when he noticed the way the youngest Gilbert looked at Bonnie. He didn't know how he felt about that, but it was certainly something he would examine later.
"If you'll excuse me, Ms. Bennett. I appreciate your time."
She barely acknowledged him, and Jesse made a quick exit.
"Jeremy."
Jeremy stopped in front of her and took her in. Last night when they had talked he had been drunk out of his mind. Bonnie had been beautiful then. Today, he was stone cold sober and saw her with fresh eyes and she was almost beyond his comprehension. He couldn't quite find his footing, and because he wanted desperately to touch her, he put his hands behind his back.
"Hey Bonnie. I didn't know if I would be welcome or not, but I thought it important to make some effort to get here. How is Matt doing?"
"He's good. The doctors say there will be a little bit of memory loss, but it's nothing that time can't fix."
Jeremy nodded and Bonnie took the opportunity to study him. He looked good, really good. There were new lines on his face, but instead of making him look tired, he looked like a rugged pirate. His hair had been washed and fell every which way on his head. He'd shaven, but there was still a smidgen of dark stubble on his chin making him look even more like a pirate. Bonnie thought he looked impossibly handsome.
"You shaved."
It was the stupidest thing to say and Bonnie felt like an idiot, but he fairly took her breath away.
Jeremy smiled ruefully and touch his hand to his cheek, "Yeah, I figured I had better. If I had come here looking the way I did, the staff would have mistaken me for a patient and shoved me into a wheelchair."
Bonnie smiled, really smiled, for the first time all day and moved to touch a hand to Jeremy's arm in an old familiar gesture. She stopped herself at just the last moment and linked her hands in front of her. To their mutual disappointment.
"Well, I'm glad."
And it was true. *
Her room was dark and cold, the bed neatly made. It had been easy to get in, her father was never home, and he knew exactly where Bonnie kept her spare key. Tidy as always, was his little wildflower. He inhaled her scent and felt his body stir to life. It was only a matter of time now. Part of him wanted to stay and wait for her to come home. Force her to accept him, accept their life together, but he didn't. Everything in it's time. For now he would be content to leave her the little present he had prepared especially for her. He wished he could see her face when she got it, but imagining it would have to do. he opened the box he held and grinned down at the hand he had chopped from the Sheriff's body. It lay still in a bed of roses and clutched in the fist was his poem to Bonnie Bennett. Oh how she would love it!*